A Lifetime Too Soon
by inappropriately-ginger
Summary: Lily and James Potter died for their son Harry on 31st October 1981 at just 21 years old. This is how the story ends – but how does it begin? A story of friendship, love, acceptance, brilliance and magic: A Lifetime Too Soon.
1. Chapter 1 Journey to Hogwarts

_**A Lifetime Too Soon**_

_Lily Evans looked at the man opposite her with a smile itching at her lips. "I do" she repeated dreamily, and the grin that James Potter reserved just for her grew on his handsome face. It had been a while since either of them had the excuse to feel happy like this, but there they stood almost immobile in their happiness. _

_Around them there was some sort of music playing; Sirius Black (the troublesome and handsome best man) was releasing fireworks from the end of his wand above the happy couple; the priest blathered on about finally doing something James had done numerous times before – kissing Lily Potter – but in his gut sat that nervous ache that spoke of their past and their future. Both had and would be sadly short, but in the end it was their love that changed the world._

_The ceremony was smaller than either of them would have hoped. Loved ones were missing where they should stand happy with the rest, whether from their own prejudice choices, or reasons beyond any of their control. A thousand things that had gone or would go wrong lingered in the worry that war wrought. The sad majority of guests present had lost someone special to them, but they clapped with tears of joy leaking from their eyes because they knew the greatest secret of them all._

_Lily and James Potter would conquer death with one another._

_James Potter leant towards her – their first kiss as fresh in his mind as the most recent – his hair fell out of its tidy place. Lily laughed, holding her hand out and ruffling it until it almost resembled its normal mess. It was perfect. As the husband took his bride's soft jaw in his hands and leant forwards to – one would assume kiss her – James knew he had won.  
"Sirius owes me three galleons," he laughed wildly past the red curls that blocked her ears from his mouth. And then he kissed her, Mr and Mrs Potter for the very first time._

**First Year - Journey to Hogwarts**

Alex Potter wished (and not for the first time in his life, or even that morning) that his son was a little more like the other first years, who all seemed to be silently scared, rather than -in the case of James Potter- running back and forth through the wall which connected the bustling London station to Platform Nine and Three Quarters. As it was James had just bumped into a brawny girl who looked rather a lot older than him, and who grimaced at the first year as she strutted off. Taking his son firmly by the shoulder and leading him towards the crimson steam engine, Alex threw his chattering wife a small smile. She was explaining that if he didn't write regularly she'd be sending howlers to Dumbledore demanding to know that he was still okay. In true James spirit, he'd laughed and encouraged his mother to do just that, when she meekly planted a quick kiss on the top of his messy black hair.

Meeting her husband's eye, Grace Potter moved towards him and put her arm around his waist - he did the same to her shoulders. In that moment, they remembered their first day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry vividly. It was not something anyone could or would ever forget, and standing here surrounded by owls hooting at one another, children running around and waving to sobbing parents, they were hounded by a nostalgia that only parents pertain. It never changed. Though the couple were excited for their son, they were also somewhat worried. James Potter; the boy who was now animatedly assuring his mother that he'd write every week, had everything to look forwards to, but an attitude to rules that would envy half of the inmates in Azkaban.

At one particularly riveting point in James' gesticulations, a scruffy black haired boy scuffled past, accompanied by a sour and sickly looking fourth year, whom James accidentally hit square in the chin. Jumping back, the witch shot a cruel look at James, opened her thinly pursed lips to curse at him, but soon spotted Mr and Mrs Potter, who stood amusedly staring in at the incident. Pushing the other boy forwards and onto the train without a word, the long blonde haired witch sauntered off towards a similarly blonde fourth year male. Turning their attention back to the train as the horn blew, the Potters helped James onto the train, wished him luck and promised to send sweets.

James Potter grinned.

The train was packed. Pushing his trunk up the corridor, James could barely see one seat free, and those that were free were quickly filled by witches and wizards adorned in mostly muggle clothing. In one compartment he saw a redheaded seventh year engaged in a newspaper he saw was the "Daily Mail", grinning bemusedly at an article about some "Beatles" and a zebra crossing. In another he spotted some six years bravely tasting different flavours of Bertie Bott's Every Flavoured Beans, with only the occasional near-vomit at toe-nail flavour. Carriage after carriage James saw first years awkwardly introducing themselves to one another, and sitting animatedly discussing houses and magic. Nearing the end of the train, he was getting severely desperate for a seat, and so when he saw a carriage with only three people inside; granted they didn't look like the friendliest bunch (particularly the boys, who shot dirty looks at one another through mops of equally ridiculous hair), he thought they'd have to do.

The first was a greasy looking hooked nosed boy, whose black hair and sallow skin made him very unsightly, and had James not been close to camping out in the corridor, he'd have walked away. Whether James' utter displeasure of the boy was his less than friendly appearance, the other boy's obvious contempt for James' company or the fact that opposite him sat a curly red haired girl, who smiled as she chatted with the stranger, was completely unknown. James Potter thought the girl was very pretty, but didn't think much of her choices in company_. I bet that guy will be a Slytherin_, James thought darkly. _He looks the type._ The third seat was occupied by another glum looking first year, who was now ignoring the other two and looked out of the window bored. James recognised him instantly as the boy whose sister he'd whacked, and awkwardly opened the door and sat down inside. The three looked up simultaneously, and James smiled.

"You hit Narcissa in the face," the third boy pointed out. Stealing a look out the window, James saw his own parents talking to a stern faced women James recognised as Augusta Longbottom, but no one who appeared to be accompanying this other chap. _Perhaps it was just him and his sister?_

"Oh yes, sorry about that…" James lied, truthfully thinking that the assault on the witch had been somewhat amusing to him. "Your sister was it?"

"Cousin," the boy grinned widely, "And don't be sorry, I've wanted to hit her all morning, she's an awful person," James laughed out loud now, and so did his partner in conversation. The redheaded girl smiled politely and returned her eyes to the book that she held in her hands, but the greasy boy grimaced at the boys. "Sirius Black," the boy said, holding out a tanned hand.

"James Potter," James replied, offering his own hand for a good manly handshake – or as manly as you can get at 11 years old.

"Potter, eh? Isn't your dad some big auror, do-gooder?" The black haired boy scoffed; his posture suddenly uncomfortable.

"Well, he is an auror but he's hardly a do-gooder, he's been given me tips on mischief," James announced proudly, his eyes skirting to and from the girl in a matter of seconds. She was immersed in the book, ignoring his fantastic attempts at sounding interesting.

"He regularly gives a fortune to St Mungo's," Sirius Black pointed out with a pinch of bitter sarcasm.

"Well, there is that…" James thought for a second, "Black… I don't suppose you plan on being in Slytherin?" James had heard a lot of the Blacks from his father and didn't quite know how to ask Sirius if he was a pureblood maniac like the rest of if family. They were pure-blooded and proud, a fact which annoyed both of James' parents to no end - mostly because as aurors, they were the ones who had to clean up their anti-muggle adventures. Sirius grunted.

"My family want me to be, but I don't know. Maybe. We'll see what the sorting hat thinks. I hope I'm not in Hufflepuff. My mum would skin me alive… Where're you heading, if you've got the choice?" Sirius asked James.

"Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart. Like my dad. Got a problem with that?" James retorted, suddenly defensive – if Sirius really was a Slytherin-freak he surely would have a problem with that. _Maybe I could hex him,_James' brain suggested quickly. There was a no magic on the train policy, but if he wasn't willing to break that rule he wasn't going to have much fun at all.

"No, if you'd rather be brawny than brainy…" the greasy boy muttered darkly from the corner. James and Sirius looked at one another with humour in etched in their faces, then returned their gaze to the boy.

"Oh Severus, don't be unkind," the girl said, looking up from her copy of "Hogwarts: A history" to reprimand her friend.

"Yeah Snivellus, don't be unkind," James retorted smartly – or at least he thought so- , to which Sirius burst out laughing. The redhead looked outraged, her green eyes looked from James to Sirius and then to her friend. Taking a glance at the page number and snapping her book shut the girl stood indignantly.

"Sev, can we go look for another compartment? I'm not quite sure there's enough room in here with these two giant heads," she said proudly, picking up her luggage and owl.

"Hey! Don't go, stay – I'll be nice," James promised kindly, smiling to make his point.

"Then maybe you should consider Hufflepuff?" the redhead said. Sirius barked into laughter. "Coming Sev?"

"Yes, okay," Severus replied happily, shooting a triumphant grin down to James. James wanted to hex the smug grin off his face.

"At least tell me your name before you go?" James called after the girl. She looked at him darkly, and James could just tell that there was something about that glare that was purposefully for him. She thought about his request for a second before replying.

"Helga," she said and stormed off, followed by Snivellus.

There was silence for a few seconds, in which James sincerely hoped he didn't end up in a dorm with that bloke, but James remembered the previous conversation topic and immediately revived it.

"My mum was in Ravenclaw, so I wouldn't really mind that, though I don't want to be stuck with a bunch of boffins. But I really _want_ to be a Gryffindor, if I can choose that is," James asserted.

"Why? What's so good about Gryffindor?" Sirius asked. From what James knew of the Blacks he was sure that Sirius would've not heard a good word in favour of any of the four Hogwarts houses other than Slytherin, so James decided it was for the good of the nation to educate him.

"Dumbledore was one, so it can't just be about brawn! The man's a genius! I like the idea of being brave and stuff. Plus, I hear they've got the best Quidditch team," James continued for half an hour about the perks of being a Gryffindor, and why (no offence) he'd rather be put in Hufflepuff than Slytherin, because (no offence) Slytherins all seem to be total sods.

"I bet Snivellus is a Slytherin. He'd get on really well with Sissy and Bellatrix," Sirius laughed.

"Who?" James chortled.

"My cousins, Narcissa is the one you whacked," Sirius stopped and remembered the moment with a smile, "and Bellatrix is her sister – she's a third year – black hair, kind of mental. Do you know anyone in Hogwarts already?"

"Well there's Frank Longbottom – his mum's a friend of the family. Apparently his grades last year were fantastic and they're setting him up to be head boy or something – but it's okay because he's a Gryffindor. Then there's Emmeline Vance, she'll be in our year. And Helga obviously! Amy Abbott is in fifth year, her mum works with my parents…" James continued for a good ten minutes, until he ran out of familiar names. As it was with most wizarding families, the boys knew a lot of the same people.

As they drove, London turned to fields, turned to wilderness, and James and Sirius' conversed about favourite Quidditch teams, best players, the lessons they most looked forwards to (transfiguration for Sirius, Defence against the dark arts for James) and a new band called the Four Witches. The food trolley came, pushed along by a small wizard, who let them off a knut because neither of them had the right change and they REALLY wanted some pumpkin pasties. Conversation turned to stories they'd both heard about the ghosts (apparently Peeves was Sirius' idol, and he planned on learning the ways of his mischief) when the red headed girl walked past their compartment. James watched her go moodily, and Sirius barked with laughter. "Classic Helga!" Sirius joked.

As they pulled up into Hogsmead station, the boys jumped to pull on their robes, as they hadn't realised how close they were. Filling their pockets with sweets, they hopped off the train together and followed the booming voice that called out for the first years to follow them. James had actually assumed the man who owned the voice was a towering tree until he got closer and saw that the branch holding the lantern was really an arm, and that rather than a tree, a bearded man-giant smiled down at them all. A quick walk later, and all of the first years had assembled next to a giant lake, which played host to a number of small wooden boats.

"Quick now," the giant called, "don't wanna get caught up in the rain," which began to hammer down the moment he said it. Scurrying around, the first years clambered into the soggy boats, and set off towards Hogwarts on the black lake. James and Sirius sat opposite Snivellus and 'Helga'. True to his prior opinion, the black haired boy continued to act like a miserable git, who kept his eyes on his lap the entire boat ride, whilst the lovely girl next to him pointed up at the stars, naming them as she did so.

"Look Sev," she exclaimed, "there's Orion, and…" she fell silent when the turned the corner, and the trees no longer blocked the view of Hogwarts. The castle stood grandly on top of a cliff, and as the rain fell on her gawping face, James noticed that she was very pretty indeed. Probably a dunderhead though, James reasoned, or worse - A Slytherin. The building loomed closer as they cut through the water, and everyone had their eyes fixed on it. It was as fantastic as he'd imagined.

Before they could get into too much trouble a severe looking woman collected them from the shore and instructed that they follow her at once. Her lips were tightly pursed, and though the soles of her shoes squelched with every step she took the rain seemed to be avoiding her completely, so that her emerald robes stayed dry. Besides James stood a small, wormish looking boy, with robes that were slightly too large for his plump frame and a wet wash of slightly curled hair. He stuck close to James and Sirius, even occasionally laughing at their loudly told jokes.

Finally the witch led them through a large pair of wooden doors and into the warm and dry castle. The inside was just as fascinating as the exterior, leaving those first years that _weren't_ anxiously waiting for the sorting shocked by the grandeur of the Entrance hall. With a stern look, the witch opened a door leading into a small room, and gestured for the group to go into it. James led the way.

Shaking themselves dry, Sirius and James waited along with the other first years next to the door behind which hundreds of students mumbled out of hunger and boredom. James felt his own belly rumble, wishing he'd saved something other than seven liquorish wands. Hearing 'Sev' mumbling at the star gazer that she should be in Slytherin with him, James wanted to whack him, but thankfully she hushed him and told him not to be silly. She said they'd both be in Ravenclaw, she 'just knew it'. The boy's eyes averted from her and James began to see the makings of a friendly issue here.

Emmeline Vance came over to say hello to him, and he introduced her to Sirius. She in turn acquainted James with Johnathon Moon and Donna Shacklebolt. As the group of them chatted about the sorting ceremony, time ticked on. Sirius was telling them a joke about a wizard and wand maker and a wailing banshee when -

A scream behind him made James spin on his heel, only to see a charge of opaque people floating over the heads of the first years. Ghosts! One was a man with a fanciful beard and a proud ruff around his apparently severed neck, another a balding friar, some women in long dresses, one woman who didn't seem to notice anything around them but stared right through them as if _they_ were the ghosts, and a grey and evil looking Baron who seemed to be drenched in his own blood. It was a menacing sight and many of the first years recoiled. James didn't see any that matched the description Sirius had given him of Peeves, but was still interested none-the-less. Even in a wizarding village it was strange to see ghosts, and here there were about fifty.

"Hey," Sirius shouted besides him. "Ermm, you," he gestured at the savage looking baron. "How'd you get so covered in blood?" he yelled. This made all of the ghosts gasp and jump (glide) back through different walls. James let out a terse laugh, as Sirius squared up to the almost six foot dead man. Sirius merely waited for his answer, seemingly unafraid of the horrors the baron could enact on him. Whether he was disappointed in the boy's lack of reaction, or he just realised that as a ghost he couldn't _really_ harm the first year, he did lean in and whisper something into Sirius' ear. A toothy and manic grin appeared on Sirius' face and he muttered "awesome" under his breath. The baron was interrupted by Professor McGonagall, the stern looking witch that had lead the first years to this room, and left through a different door. She was holding a stool in her hands. Some of the people around James looked sick.

They were led into the Great Hall, where four tables stood side by side, and at each of which sat people of different houses. At the far end was Gryffindor, and closest to him Slytherin. James certainly hoped the hook nosed guy was put in with that lot, as they were eyeing the first years like they were meat. Maybe they were just really hungry, James considered – it was quite late and even his stomach (digesting liquorish wands) was hungering for some decent grub.

McGonagall put down the stool in the front of the hall, and placed a battered looking hat onto it. The crowd look nauseous, but James was calm, as was Sirius who stood next to him eyeing the houses. The student body looked at the hat expectantly as a crack appeared in the hat and it began to sing:

I was worn, quite long ago

By wizards of great power,

And now-a-days, I sit alone

In Dumbledore's old tower

Of course it's not so bad you see

Though I am ripped and torn

For every wizard you will meet

Is someone I have worn.

Whether they from Hufflepuff,

Those badgers just and Loyal.

Friendly and patient,

Their work grows from the soil.

Or Gryffindor, the brave at heart

To whom glory is the start,

Daring lions, chivalrous,

Where dwell the brave at heart.

Or Ravenclaw, those clever folk

So ready of the mind,

To learn a spell, and learn it well

Is the Eagle's kind

Maybe they were Slytherin

Ambitious to the end,

Those funny snakes are there to make,

Some real cunning friends.

So put me on, and join those sorts

I'll sort you into HOGWARTS.

The crowd erupted with applause, and James seemed to spot the sorting hat doing almost a bow with the tip of its cap. He laughed, and nudged Sirius who mirrored the movement to everyone's amusement. McGonagall gathered a roll of parchment and read from it.

"John Abbot" she called. A short, fair haired boy shuffled by James and sat on the stool, bringing the hat down on his head. He became a Hufflepuff, and gained a round of applause from the yellow table second closest to where James and Sirius stood. "Roger Avery" James sniggered, as an ugly brute of a boy sat awkwardly on the stool until he was announced the first Slytherin of the year. "Otto Bagman!" became a hufflepuff, and Oswold Beamish joined him. "Sirius Black" stepped out from beside James, and despite his cool character, James sensed that Sirius was a little worried. Of course, James would be worried too if his entire family had been expecting him to be placed into Slytherin (as was the true Black way) and the sorting hat called out "Gryffindor!" after almost two whole minutes of sitting there uncomfortably facing the whole school. Sirius sat there for a minute, unsure if he'd heard correctly, but shakily jumped off the stool and headed towards the Gryffindor table.

Amycus Carrow, a strange looking boy was made a Slytherin, who sat next to a boy who looked very similar to her. Siblings, James assumed. "Tracy Dawlish" joined Slytherin and "Matilda Dukelow" became a Ravenclaw just before "Lily Evans!" was called up, and James finally learnt the real name of the pretty star gazer. She skipped towards the sorting hat and smiled as it pondered where to put her. When it told her she was a Gryffindor and happily sat beside Sirius who smiled at James. Montague Knightley became a Ravenclaw, and James waited patiently, until there were only a few students left.

"Remus Lupin" joined Sirius, but sat to himself on the Gryffindor table, and Aiden Lynch became a Ravenclaw.

Two more students became Gryffindors (Mary McDonald and Peter Pettigrew) and then "James Potter" was called. Acting calm, though his heart was thrumming, James sat on the stool, and the last thing he was before the cap covered his eyes, was a bunch of curious, yet hungry students, probably wishing there weren't so many first years.

"Hmmm," a tiny voice said inside his head, "Ambitious, oh yes. And a spark of mischief too. Loyal, as well - a good friend – a cunning disregard for the rules. Not a bad mind, talented young thing. But the courage…. What do you think boy? Slytherin, where you can put your mind to good use, and become the very best?"

"If you put me in Slytherin I will hex the entire dorm while they sleep," James threatened mentally, which brought a laugh from the hat – James wondered just how long he'd been sat there before the hat finally said:

"You know your mind. Of course, just like your father… GRYFFINDOR" he shouted to the extreme relief of James, who pottered down the stairs and budged in to sit between Lily Evans and Sirius Black. "James Potter" he said, offering a hand to the girl beside him. At first she didn't seem sure, but she eventually smiled, shook it with her own and reminded him that her name was "Lily Evans, charmed, I'm sure"

Severus Snape didn't get the chance for the hat to touch his head before he was announced as a Slytherin, and Lily Evans deflated next to him. She craned her neck, attempting (James assumed) to catch the eye of her friend, who seemed to be purposefully avoiding hers as he unwillingly took a seat behind the ghost Sirius had taunted earlier. And finally the sorting was done when Willy Widdershins joined Severus Snape as a Slytherin and Emmeline Vance sat beside Sirius as a Gryffindor.

Dumbledore; a man James had met twice at once of his father's Christmas do's, stood up and smiled with a twinkle in his eye. "I don't know about you," he said, "but my belly is about as empty as a leprechauns bank account. Eat up!" Food appeared of the plates at once, a feast of chicken, pork, a vegetarian option that looked vile, turkey, and some mint humbugs. James suddenly remembered his first meeting with Albus, when the man had walked into his bedroom by mistake when looking for the toilet in their manor during one of his father's parties. He offered the boy a mint humbug, and went of humming on his way. James had some as a reminder to the occasion.

When they were all stuffed, pudding arrived and Sirius opened his second stomach, as he pilled various deserts onto his plate and gorged himself. James had one slice of treacle tart (which, Lily Evans also did, as she chatted with second year Alice Griffiths). After the meal, James, Lily, Mary, a girl called Marlene, Emmeline and Sirius all trudged behind Molly Prewett the prefect to their common room. "First thing's first," Sirius informed his friend. "I need to locate the kitchens to this place," James laughed, and so did Lily – they had both just watched Sirius gorging himself, and now he was wanting to find the food source. The other girls did too, but James didn't really know which one was which, and was sure Mary had been a blonde a minute ago.

James turned to Lily and said "Gryffindor, the brave at heart, to whom glory is delicious. Better than being cunning and ambitious, eh?" She scowled at him, obviously upset about her cunning and ambitious friend. "Sorry," he murmured. "About your friend," she simply shrugged.

"It's fine, James Potter. I am proud to be brave of heart," she announced, with her chin in the air. She was a little taller than him, so he couldn't really see her blush properly when he replied.

"And I am proud to be delicious", but she giggled and dropped her head. When she turned back to her friends, James realised that Sirius was looking at him. "One day, I'm going to marry that girl," he announced as a whisper.

"I bet you that you don't," Sirius said, patting James on the back. "I bet you end up marrying someone like that Matilda Dukelow…" James shivered remembering the girl he had thought might be half troll.

"Oh yeah? How much are we wagering?" James played.

"Three galleons!" it seemed like an awful lot to wager, as James was just eleven, but he shook the hand of his friend and made a pact that one day he would certainly win.

Up in their dormitory, James introduced himself to Adam McKinnon, a blonde haired boy who spoke with a fading Welsh accent, Remus Lupin who barely shook his hand before running off to unpack his clothes neatly in his drawers, Sirius Black as a joke which they both found very amusing on their full bellies, and the small wormish boy by the name of Peter Pettigrew. James then threw all of his belongings into one draw, taped up a Quidditch poster and threw a chocolate frog he'd found in his trunk to Sirius. The other boy thanked him and gobbled it quickly.

At that exact point in time, Lily Evans was slowly organizing all of her possessions into the draws that had been assigned to her by the strong willed Marlene Tolkien. Marlene (call me Marley) had short blonde curls, and bright blue eyes, and stole the bed next to Lily's as soon as she walked in. Beside her were Emmeline Vance – a funny girl with plaited brown hair, and Donna Shacklebolt; a dark skinned girl who didn't look like she wanted to talk much. Marlene took out a framed picture and put it on her bed side desk, then followed Lily's suit. Mary, a vivacious and hyper brunette collapsed into a fit of giggles on her own bed then fell asleep immediately, leaving one bed free, which was filled by dark haired and sour faced Charlotte Parkinson.

The last girl trudged in, spotted the only empty bed and scoffed.  
"Erm, I don't want that bed," she said as though she expected someone to do something about it. "That's the one nearest the door. I don't want it,"

"Cool, neither do we," Marlene said, keeping a friendly by warning tone to her voice.

"Well, can't anyone switch with me?" Charlotte continued, looking around at all the girls. Donna skilfully avoided her eye, and Emmeline shook her head. It should come as no surprise then, when the girl walked over to Lily, who had just finished folding her robes expertly into her drawers. "Ginger, switch with me,"

"Her name is Lily Evans," Marlene said, all forms of friendliness dropped from her voice. "And she's not switching with you," Lily felt grateful to Marlene and shot her a thankful smile.

"Why should the mudblood get the best bed in the room?" Charlotte said. This comment made even Donna sit up and take notice of the conversation. Lily didn't know what it meant, which was lucky as had she known she mightn't have kept so calm.

"Because I arrived first," Lily said. "You on the other hand, arrived a good ten minutes after everyone else, so you should just be polite and unpack your things. Did you never learn that it's prudent to make a good first impression?" Lily felt she'd done rather well at keeping chill. That was, of course, until Charlotte Parkinson walked even closer to Lily, who (even when standing) was a darn sight shorter than the other girl.

"Maybe you should unpack your things from my drawer?" Charlotte threatened.

"Maybe you should unpack your face from hers and stop being a brat and just take the damn bed!" Marlene shouted. Marlene Tolkien was not the kind of witch anyone would want to get on the wrong side of, and the quiet form of anger that was in her voice warned Charlotte away. With one last glare at Lily she went over to the door and stormed out, slamming it behind her.

"DRAMA QUEEN!" Emmeline laughed as Mary jolted awake at the sound.

"You alright Lil?" Marlene asked kindly, jumping over to Lily's bed and sitting beside her.

"Yes, I'm fine. I've had more than my share of fights in the last month," Lily admitted sourly.

"I bet none of them called you a … you-know-what?" Marlene fretted with her mouth in a frown.

"What is a … mudblood?" Lily asked, and the reaction was instant. All of the faces in the room squirmed. Mary, who was obviously most shocked as she hadn't heard the first use of the word, gasped. No one seemed willing to answer her.

"A mudblood is what brats like Charlotte Parkinson think they can call someone who doesn't have a magical family," it was Emmeline who spoke from the corner. "She's an idiot, though – it's not like blood purity matters anymore," everyone agreed.

"Except in the eyes of…" Marlene looked sad, and the same look spread across all of the girl's faces.

"Eyes of who?" Lily asked, feeling (not for the first time amongst her magical friends) totally oblivious. Even when the boys had been speaking on the train she felt as though they knew so much more about the wizarding world – something that even Hogwarts: A History could teach her.

"You really don't know much about the wizarding world, do you Lil?" Lily shook her head as Emmeline asked. She felt grim – how was she going to manage in lessons? Marlene and Mary looked positively excited by this, and squeaked with giddiness.

"YAY, a project!" Marlene yelped.

The four girls spent the next hour in their dorm coaching Lily in all things magical. It was a relief to see that whilst Mary was up-to-date with wizarding fashions, Marlene was a Quidditch fanatic, Emmeline knew everything about everyone, and Donna was a magical-music-junkie, none of them seemed too ahead of her at magic, as it was illegal for them to do any until the age of 17 outside of school. When they'd finishing tutoring her on what not to say to certain people, they all swapped life stories.

Mary was a clearly very pretty, and had been the tallest in her class in a muggle primary school for five years. She had amazing brown bangs hair, which apparently was from her great grandmother, and blue eyes from her muggle father. Her family lived somewhat near Lily in Cokeworth. Lily asked Mary if she'd ever met Sev, but she shook her head.

Marlene was boisterous, with straight as a pin blonde hair. She'd been home schooled by her uncle, whilst her mother worked as a Healer in St. Mungo's. Her dad was apparently never around, as he was always off doing Gringotts business, where he acted as manager in Goblin-Liaisons. She lived in the midst of Diagon Alley, as it was easier for her mum and dad to get to work. The Quidditch team she most supported were the Falmouth Falcons, because apparently they were brilliant. She then attempted to explain the rules of Quidditch, to which Lily lost track at the amount of different balls, and Emmeline luckily stood in.

Donna was very shy, but liked music, including muggle music. Her mum was a muggle, but her dad was a wizard, and her brother Kingsley was training as an auror.

Emmeline was apparently the eleven year old socialite of the south west, where she lived near Godric's Hollow with her mum and step dad. Emmeline knew most people that came from wizarding families, as her parents were always throwing parties and forcing her to attend.

"I saw you talking to James Potter earlier," Em said to Lily. "He's really funny. At one of his parent's parties last year he beat my dad in a flying race, then in celebration set fire to the couch. It was hilarious!"

"Well, I don't think that much of him," Lily protested, admitting that whilst some of his jokes were kind of funny he still acted like a dolt.

"That Sirius Black's entire family…." Em said, tactfully changing the subject and talking about the Black family prejudice. He was the first Black in living history that hadn't been subjected to Slytherin – Lily thought about Sev and wondered if (if Sirius agreed) they could swap? It was impossible, she knew, but a nice thought.

The next day Lily woke early, to the sight of the sun seeping through the curtains. Smiling, she quickly changed into her new robes and wondered if she should wake Marley or one of the others. Her own rumbling stomach and their resounding snores made her mind up for her. Pulling her shoes on and combing her hair, she quietly closed the door and headed down to the common room. There was no one there, other than a round faced girl, who sat on the sofa near the fireplace reading a thick leather bound book.

Noticing Lily's presence the girl looked up and smiled broadly.

"Hello – Lily is it?" the girl said politely.

"Yes, that's me," Lily smiled.

"I'm Alice Griffiths. I'm in my second year. We spoke yesterday. Are you nervous for your first day?" Alice asked kindly. Lily nodded with a blush. "Oh don't worry about it – it'll be great fun. On my first day I accidentally set a load of text books chasing Professor Flitwick. He's the charms teacher – really nice bloke. He still chuckles about that day." Alice said fondly. "Off to breakfast are you?"

"Yes, my dorm mates are all still sleeping," Lily laughed.

"I see like me you are also an early bird. I was going to stay here until Mona woke up, but I'm sure she'll understand," Lily was shocked – this girl was going to come to her to breakfast? Alice must've judged something on her face because she said:

"Oh, are you muggleborn?" she asked. Lily blushed again, cursing her pale skin. "I only ask because the purebloods wouldn't have reacted like that – you see, they're used to people being nice. I guess you didn't have much of that at the muggle-school?"

"Not really, I suppose they noticed that I was a bit different," Lily said almost sadly. She'd only really had two friends back at home. The first was Petunia, her lovely sister (or at least she had been lovely until the day Lily received her Hogwarts letter). The second friend was Severus Snape – the boy who had introduced her to magic. He lived a five minute walk away from their house in Cokeworth, and they'd almost been inseparable since they met.

"Well c'mon ginger – you're amongst friends now," Alice laughed sincerely, totally unaware of the previous night's Charlotte Parkinson incident. Following the older girl down the staircases (since when did staircases move?) and through tapestries that opened unexpectedly, they finally made it down to the Great Hall. Lily wondered if she would ever remember the trek, and Alice assured her she would get the hang of Hogwarts after about a week.

If Lily had thought breakfast would be any less grand than the previous evening's feast she had been sourly mistaken. Waffles – toast – eggs – sausages – cereals – but most importantly: Croissants. Ever since a childhood holiday to France Lily Evans had loved croissants with all of her heart and soul. Eyeing the platter which held them Alice chuckled. As she piled three croissants and a pain du chocolate onto her plate, with a spoonful of jam, Lily asked Alice when they would get their timetables.

"This morning, should be. McGonagall will be around with them soon," and sure enough, when the Gryffindor table was at least half full, the transfiguration teacher stalked up and down the dining hall, fitting both first years and seventh years alike with their timetable. Alice had double potions followed by charms and transfiguration, which she didn't seem so happy about. "Old Slughorn hates me! Probably because I'm so useless," McGonagall smiled at Lily (who was now accompanied by a sleepy Emmeline Vance and Mary McDonald. Donna and Marlene were getting ready in their common room still.

"Miss Evans, welcome to Gryffindor. Here is your timetable," the witch said with a flick of her wand, creating a slip of paper in the air. Lily grabbed it and looked down, as her two fellow first years received theirs.

"We have charms together!" Mary exclaimed to Emmeline, who smiled broadly. "And Lily does too!"

"Charms, History of magic, transfiguration, potions?" Lily asked her two friends who nodded.

"Oh, I don't have transfiguration with you! I have Defence against the Dark Arts then," Em said sadly.

"Yeah me too Lily, sorry," Mary said. Lily felt a little dishevelled that her friends wouldn't be with her, but hoped that either Donna or Marlene would be joining her. However, when they came into the hall and were granted their own time table, it seemed like they too would be having Defence with Mary and Emmeline.

"Don't worry Lily," Donna started, "You'll definitely be with some Gryffindors," which made Lily perk up a bit – she might even be with Severus.

Charms was fantastic. Alice had been right in saying that Flitwick was an amazing teacher – despite being unable to see his students over his desk. He called out the register and introduced them to the subject. He spoke them through the difficulties of charms, and Lily took rabid notes. There were a few other Gryffindors in the class (including Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and Adam McKinnon), and a balance of Ravenclaws.

Their first magical test was when Flitwick challenged them to turn a sponge red.

"Remember, draw a hook with your wand and say the incantation!" he squeaked, but very few people heard him over the sound of the bang that exploded from Sirius Black's wand. His face and hair was charred and smoking, but there was a grin the size of Jupiter inhabiting his face. Remus Lupin, who sat beside him nervously coughed and pointed out that the sponge looked a bit pinker.

Lily read through the theoretical approach to the spell, concentrated on the wand in her right hand, and said the spell clearly. At once the previously yellow sponge was as red as Lily's face as soon as Flitwick cheered her success. "Well done Miss Evans! Is that the first spell you've ever done?"

"Well, I used to make daisies blossom, but that was before I had my wand so I'm not sure it counts sir," Emmeline gawked at Lily. Flitwick awarded her (and eventually Remus, a Ravenclaw called Luke and another called Russell) five house points each for successfully doing the spell. Everyone else he gave reading to do for next lesson.

Smiling, Lily left the classroom and left for History of Magic with her dorm mates.

"Lily, were you able to control magic before you got your wand?" Mary asked as they forced their way through the busy corridors.

"Occasionally – sometimes I accidentally did magic, like dying my sister's hair pink, but once Severus told me I was a witch I managed to do some small stuff," Lily said politely. "How about you?"

"Being able to do that is really rare, Lil. Even the majority of people from magic families are totally unable to do that. You saw Sirius in there, and he had a wand!" Emmeline exclaimed. The others nodded in agreement.

Lily soon learnt that there were some subjects (e.g. Charms) which were interesting, challenging and useful. She also realised in the first hour of their very first History of Magic lesson; whilst the ghost teacher Binns droned on about Merlin and the Goblin Fiasco, that some subjects had no right existing. Despite this, Lily spent the majority of the lesson copying down notes relating to what Binns was saying. She was the only one in the class – everyone else had misting eyes, as they attempted not to fall asleep, and the only notes her friends seemed to be making were to each other.

**Lily, why are you making notes?**

Because we might need to know this for a test or something,

**That's not very likely.**

_Em! Don't tell her not to make notes!_

**Why not? It's a waste of time, everyone knows that**

_Yes, but we can steal her notes at the end of the year_

**Good thinking Mary!**

Excuse me! Just because I take my education seriously!

_Yes, and we're very happy for you Lily – stop writing notes to us – you're missing some important information._

I'm not lending you my notes.

**You say that now…**

Lily scrunched the parchment into a ball and threw it at Mary's head, which resulted in Emmeline bursting into a fit of laughter. Professor Binns, intent on teaching, somehow didn't notice this disruption, which had five people in the vicinity of Em chuckling into their quills.

In their first day at Hogwarts, Sirius and James found two hidden passageways, three trick stairs, and most importantly (at least for Sirius) - the Kitchens. Due to their constant "getting lost" and being _extremely_ late for transfiguration, McGonagall drew them a map on a piece of old parchment and told them that if they were late again it'd be Sirius' face she drew the map on. James had laughed, until he noticed that there were only two free seats, and they were not anywhere near each other. Shooting a wink at James, Sirius hopped off to sit beside a tanned Gryffindor girl, who looked miserably at him. James became aware of why his friend had winked when he noticed where the free seat was.

Lily Evans avoided looking at James as he scuffled into the seat next to her; her eyes were fixed on McGonagall who started her lesson as soon as James had taken out a piece of parchment and quill. They were attempting to turn ribbon into rope again, which no one other than Lily managed to do with any amount of success. Her ribbons, (that had been the green of her eyes James had noted in his peripherals) now sat as a thick lump of yellow rope on the table, as she scribbled notes on what she had done. She gained five points for Gryffindor (which almost made up for those that James and Sirius had lost in turning up to the lesson late).

Whilst McGonagall was reprimanding Sirius, James swapped his own ribbon for Lily's rope while she'd not been paying attention, and smirked at the laughing Sirius accordingly. Lily laughed too, and directly transfigured the second ribbon. Across the room Peter Pettigrew sat with a despondent looking girl James learnt to be Scarlet Prewett (a Ravenclaw) , when he grumpily prodded her ribbon with the end of her wand and caused it to go up in flames. "Peter Pettigrew!" McGonagall had exclaimed, but then she gave the boy a rare smile. "Miss Prewett, could you show him how it's done?" which she attempted, with very little success.

Lily transfigured James' ribbon back to rope which he eventually had managed to transform his pink strip of ribbon into rope. However, where Lily's (and now Charlotte Parkinson's, Adam McKinnon's, and Luke Harper's) rope had been about thirty cm's in length, and only one cm thick, James had produced a burly rope, and thick as his own arm, and longer still. Sirius clapped and Lily Evans looked somewhat scornful beside him.

"Congratulations Mr Potter, transfiguration appears to be one of your strong points," McGonagall said, clearing all of the rope and remaining ribbon away with a swish of her wand.

"One of them," agreed James proudly. "Mr Ollivander told me it would be the case," and he twiddled his mahogany wand around his fingers. He earned his first ten points for Gryffindor that day, but lost them all later on that night.

In the evenings, Sirius liked to follow Peeves the poltergeist around, and it had been a constant hobby of his until on Thursday night, Mrs Norris (the new caretaker's sinister cat) stalked the boys around the corridors, mewing whenever they took a step. Peeves; like most people, generally avoided the cat and her lamp-like eyes, so Sirius realized they'd never find him whilst being followed this way.

Ten minutes later and the boys (covered in cat hair and the occasional claw mark) ran for their common room. It was almost curfew, and they didn't fancy getting caught out of bed in their first week. That'd be bad form, James told Sirius, who laughed accordingly. It was then, as they ran the final staircase towards the portrait of the fat lady in a pink dress, that they heard the drone of one Mr Filch.

"No running in the corridors!" he stormed towards them. He had longish black hair, which was scragglier than Snape's, a gaunt face and wore dirty brown robes. "I might have to dock some points," Filch said, flashing them a yellow smile.

"We just didn't want to be out after curfew," Sirius tried innocently. It didn't work.

"Well, you are! It's 9:02 right now boys, and you're out of bed!" he snapped the last word.

"That's because you've kept us out here telling us not to run!" James retorted. If they got a detention for this, he officially didn't feel bad about the location of this man's pet.

"Well maybe you shouldn't run in the corridors!" Filch growled. "Where's my cat?"

"I don't know," both boys said simultaneously.

"Suspicious. 10 points from Gryffindor, and if anything's happened to Mrs Norris, it'll be on your heads" and he walked away muttering about the good old days.

As they said the password "_Gillyweed_" and were allowed to enter the common room, James and Sirius were laughing and doing impressions of the caretaker. "And if ANYTHING has happened to Mrs Norris... it'll be on your heads!" James laughed at Sirius' mockery.

"Do you think he'll find her?" he asked his friend.

"Oh yeah, probably... if not we could set her free after potions tomorrow?" Sirius suggested. At this point there was a rapping on the window. It was an owl. A fifth year closest to it, opened the window and the owl fluttered in, dropping a red envelope on Sirius' head. Everyone was looking around. The post normally arrived during breakfast, and yet here sat a first year, eyes wide, the grin wiped from his face.

The muggle-borns in the room all looked severely confused but those from wizarding families all burst out laughing, as Sirius Black sprinted towards the stairs that lead to his dormitory and fell flat on his face at the top step, when a voice sounded throughout the common room:

_SIRIUS ORION BLACK,_

_Your father and I are appalled at your behaviour. I very much hope that you in surrounded by filthy blood traitors and muggle-borns at this moment, this likes of which would NOT be found in Slytherin. You are a shame on the Black family name, and I have half a mind to remove you from the family tree. Do NOT expect any mail or presents this year, because those blasted mudbloods will only steal them from your trunk! Regulus is ashamed of you, because at least ONE OF MY SONS has his priorities correct. Do not write, do not come home for the holidays, and I will UNHAPPILY have Narcissa bring you home at the end of the year!_

With an unpleasant scream, James heard the envelope burn up, and scorch Sirius' hand. Some of the older students clapped, some got back to their work. James looked over at Lily who had gone quite pale, her eyes unfocused on her book.

"May I just say," Sirius called out to the rest of the Gryffindors, "that unlike my mother, and my father, and my brother, and the rest of my family (expect maybe my cousin Andromeda), I don't care about blood purity or any of that, and I'm proud to be a Gryffindor! WHERE THE BRAVE..."

"ARE DELICIOUS!" James called back to his friend, which sparked laughter throughout the cheering crowd. Lily however didn't cheer, but had her eyes looking into the roaring fire. Of course, she was a muggle-born, who had just entered a world where there were people like the Blacks who didn't think she had a right to be there – to be alive. There was a war brewing at it was not in the pretty girls' favour.

Friday morning Mary ran over to Lily at the breakfast table to say she'd found Mrs Norris trapped in a suit of armour that was hidden in an empty classroom. Lily shot a look at the boys who stifled hysterics as they ate their porridge. Luckily, Filch had no idea of the cat's short imprisonment, and so James and Sirius got off scot free, with only a short telling off from their fellow Gryffindor.

They had no lessons on Friday afternoon, but a lot of homework that they had avoided all week. In true James and Sirius style they decided to go and explore the grounds during their free time – accepting the challenge of doing all work the night before its due date. Sirius himself would actually leave the majority of it until the morning of the due date, because he much preferred not doing important things.

That morning, however, they had double potions with the Slytherins and their head of house. Slughorn wasn't as bad as James had been assuming, and he didn't favour his own house too much (though he did a lot more than Professor McGonagall, which James and Sirius discussed heatedly). He liked James, whose father he'd been a few years above in his own Hogwarts days, and because he showed a certain degree of skill in the subject. He was most interested in Sirius, whom he'd hoped to be a Slytherin since he had the 'rest of the Blacks'. James heard the other boy mumble something about 'you're not the only one' and return to his cure for acne.

There was, however, no denying who the two star students were in that lesson. Lily Evans and Severus Snape sat together at the front of the dungeon, and had their acne cure on the boil ten minutes before anyone else. They worked well together, splitting up jobs evenly, whilst Sirius sat there poking horned slugs with his wand, letting James do all the work. They chatted absentmindedly, until Lily noticed it had turned the correct shade of magenta, and took the cauldron off the fire. Slughorn cheered when he noticed that it smelt just like freshly rained on soil.

"Perfect! Never have I seen two first years produce something with this precision! And from a Gryffindor as well, congratulations – both of you! Take ten house points apiece," Lily was smiling and still chatting to Severus as they all left the lesson. Whilst James had managed to make their potion a deep pink, it had smelt like apples, which apparently wasn't the correct aroma, and would irritate the skin. Luckily enough, everyone else's potion was either purple or smelt like unicorn hair, so his wasn't a total mistake.

"Well done, Snivellus! You should dry brew up a Cure for being an ugly sod," James called across the classroom. Lily Evans turned in her seat and glared unhappily at the boy, but Slughorn apparently hadn't heard so he wasn't punished.

It was extremely hot down in the dungeons, and James didn't believe that potions classed as real magic, but decided that one day they would attempt to brew what Slughorn described as "the best potion ever". Felix Felicis - Liquid Luck. Again, Lily managed to excel, impressing Slughorn by answering 11/10 questions right on a quiz they had at the end of the lesson. Between them, James and Sirius got 4.

After dropping off their bags and scoffing down lunch, the pair left the other first years doing their homework in the library and common room, and set off to the grounds. They avoided the greenhouses, where some sixth years were learning about Gillyweed, and headed straight for the Quidditch pitch, which was a ten minute walk from the castle. They had a good view from their own dorm, but it had been almost two years since James had been in a real Quidditch arena, as his dad had been too busy with the war to take him to any games. Sitting on the bleachers, James and Sirius discussed how cool it would be to join the team, and cursed the fact that they would have to wait until next year. They stayed there for a few minutes, until they grew bored of being unable to fly and headed back to the castle.

"Fancy going to look at the Forbidden Forest?" Sirius asked, as they left the pitch.

"Well, we have seen most of the NOT-Forbidden stuff…" James reasoned, and did a U-Turn to head to the forest. There was a fence that was most likely enchanted surrounding the forest, but the boys managed to find and climb a tall tree and jump over to end up in the perimeter of the dark woods.

Sticking to the path, Sirius and James had their wands out, held forwards in case of an attack. They didn't meet anything peculiar, other than a herd of thestrals. "Look out," James and Sirius said in unison. "You can…?" "Can you see…?" James held out his wand free hand to the skeletal horse, and let it sense him. When it seemed comfortable he walked forwards and stroked it - Sirius did the same with one of the other horses. "Who was it for you?" Sirius asked quietly after a moment of silence.

"My Uncle Charlus," James replied, not completely distraught at the memory. Not like Sirius, who had turned pale.

"Charlus? I think I knew him… Married Dorea?" Sirius asked.

"Black, yeah…" the boys tried to figure out how distantly they were related. It was a too tricky task, so they moved on.

"In-bred pureblood mongrels" Sirius commented.

"You?" James asked some time later.

"A muggle in the street. I was out shopping with my mum and my brother Regulus, when this homeless man starts crying out and screaming. Three minutes later he was dead. It was reported as a heart attack, but… my mum told us he got what he deserved," Sirius went quite. James understood.

They got a little lost after petting the thestrals and had somehow managed to stray further into the forest than meaning to. In an attempt to find their way back to the grounds, James tried a pointer charm, with little avail. "It's almost dinner!" Sirius complained loudly, followed by a resounding bark.

"Was that your stomach?" James laughed incredulously. Sirius had been complaining about hunger for the past twenty minutes, but that was a serious bout of the rumblies.

"No, I think that was an actual dog…" the laughter wiped off both of their faces. At that moment, a giant grey boarder hound puppy came bounding into the small clearing they were standing in. As it dived at James, Sirius burst out laughing, and the smaller boy was knocked over by the force of the dog.

"Hello boy!" James petted. "You're not a scary werewolf are you? No, you're just a puppy. Where did you come from?" Sirius meanwhile was attempting to breathe through his laughter. "Do you know the way home?" James asked the puppy, who slobbered a kiss onto James' face and set off east. The pair followed (Sirius chasing the dog like he was one himself) and sure enough the trees thinned and the canopy lightened, and the boys found themselves at the edge of the forest. "Good Boy!" James said, rubbing the dog's head. There was a small cabin just the other side of the fence, and luckily - "A gate!" Sirius called. Hoping there was no alarm on the gate they went through it. Luck seemed to be on their side, the puppy on the other hand was not. Yap Yap! It barked, running in circles around James' legs making a commotion. Picking the dog up James beaconed to Sirius who followed accordingly.

Knocking on the door, James hoped that there was no one home, so the gamekeeper wouldn't realise they'd probably been in the forbidden forest, but a crashing of pans and three creeks of floorboards told James that the owner of the dog WAS home. The giant pulled the door open and saw the two boys guiltily holding a puppy that was slobbering on James' robes. They smiled.

"Fang!" the giant said. "I've been looking for you everywhere. Where was he?" he asked of the boys.

"Err… in the… Quidditch pitch?" James suggested. "He was chasing his tail and yapping at the Slytherin banner."

"Oh Fang!" exclaimed the giant, cradling the ball of fluff into his beard. 'Nice save' Sirius whispered with a wink. "Fancy coming in for some rock cakes? Baked 'em myself!"

"Cake?" Sirius jumped up at the prospect and quickly walked into the hut.

Half an hour later, James Potter had learnt three things about Rubeus Hagrid. 1) Never leave a magical creature unattended with him in the near vicinity (as some Romanian guy with a boomslang collection had learnt ten years ago). 2) Never eat anything he offers you (the rock cakes were inedible to the point of tooth breakage). 3) He knew more about Hogwarts that even Peeves (and he had the keys to prove it).

"I 'ave keys to every door," Hagrid said proudly. "Course, I'm not allowed in the common rooms. 'aven't been in one since I went to 'Ogwarts,"

"When were you here?" Sirius asked, after giving up on attempting chewing the cake that he now held under the table in offering to the hungry puppy. Fang slobbered over the boys hand in thanks.

"'Bout thirty years ago now. Expelled, me. I was in Hufflepuff," Hagrid said glumly.

"Where're the Hufflepuff common rooms?" James asked slyly. He knew the location of both the Gryffindor and Slytherin common rooms, but very little about the other two houses.

"Don't know if I should tell you that…" Hagrid sounded uneasy.

"It's just that… we keep getting lost. Brain like a flobberworm this one," James pointed at Sirius, "we were going to make a map of Hogwarts… so we know where things are… and where to avoid, because we certainly aren't allowed in the other common rooms…"

Perhaps it was the analogy of the flobberworm, or purely James' wit and charm, but Hagrid told them.

"That's near the kitchens, right?" Sirius said happily wondering if they should check out the location on the way to get some edible food.

"How do you know where the kitchens are…?" Hagrid started, but James jumped up.

"Sirius, I think we should go and do that homework that Professor Slughorn set us so we can get good marks in school…"

"Oh my oh my! Yes, that is necessary to be done tonight!" Sirius exclaimed, jumping up, thanking Hagrid for the 'delicious cake' and petting Fang on the head.

"We _should_ make a map, you know…." Sirius said as they headed for two spare spaces at the Gryffindor table for dinner. "But one that has all the hidden rooms and passageways on it,"

"And it should be enchanted to move when the stairs move in the real castle!" James added.

"And we should plot each other on it, so we always know where the other is,"

"We should plot everyone on it, so we know where everyone is. Especially Filch!"

"Not a bad idea Potter, but we'll have to do more research…"

"It'll take some tricky magic,"

"It'll be totally awesome…"


	2. Chapter 2 Marauding

**Marauding**

**Second year - November - The night of the full moon**

"Where's Lupin?" Sirius said as he fell back into bed. Their dorm mate often went home at the weirdest of times in the term, and his bed was empty for at least one night a month.

"His mum's ill again," James replied. He was sat at the window with a book of charms in his hand. He was trying to find something that might work on the map that he and Sirius had been working on together. They recently found a room which gave you whatever you needed. He'd been chatting with Nobby, a house elf, whilst Sirius was getting a second breakfast, and he had told him of the come and go room. So far James had no luck with finding a useful spell, so spent 80% of his time either looking at a spell he'd already read, or out of the window into the sky. There were no clouds today, and the stars were bright, but not as bright as the moon. It bathed the Hogwarts grounds in a whitish light, and James could make out Hagrid walking down from the northern grounds by the great lake. Fang was huge and bounding along like the puppy Sirius and he had met.

"Weird, she always seems to get ill," Sirius said. Peter Pettigrew walked in glumly and changed into his pyjamas silently behind his curtains. Adam McKinnon was down in the common room discussing muggle music with one of Lily Evans' friends. For someone from an old wizarding family he knew a lot about "The Beatles". James didn't really have time for muggle music.

"Weirder still, he's the one that always looks ill," James noted. His dorm-mate often looked sickly pale just before his mother grew ill herself. Maybe it was catching?

"It's got to be stressful – having your mum sick so often," Sirius commented.

Hagrid threw a fallen tree for Fang, who launched himself after it, picked it up in his great jaws and ran it back to his master. Even when removing his glasses to rub his eyes, James could see the silhouette of the gamekeeper. The moon was really bright tonight…

"Sirius…" James said quickly to his best friend. "Sirius, erm, look outside," Sirius groaned and removed himself from his bed.

"Hagrid and Fang playing fetch? You got me out of bed for that?" exclaimed the boy.

"Look up," James hissed in his ear, the charms book lay forgotten on the floor.

"Full… you don't… Remus? A we…. Nooooo…" Sirius rejected. "His mum, he's always sick, he's always stealing my notes…"

"He's always stealing Lily's notes…" James corrected.

"Yeah, but I steal her notes too, so technically he's stealing my notes…"

"You think…." James asked his friend, careful to avoid saying the words "Remus" and "werewolf" around Peter Pettigrew, who didn't seem to have any friends, but generally sat with whoever would have him. They didn't know if they could trust the boy.

"Maybe..."

"Shall we ask him?"

"You can't just ask someone if they're a ..." Sirius exclaimed.

"I think I will... and I have a plan," James said mischievously.

In the morning James came down with the flu (which he had learnt to acquire from his charms book) and so Sirius escorted him to the nearly empty hospital wing. There was a third year, which looked like he hit the wrong end of a bat bogey hex in one bed, and another bed which had a curtain around it. James took a bed that Healer Holloway pointed out to him, and waited patiently as the Healer worked on the third year. Sirius was unfortunately sent to his lesson (transfiguration) to excuse James' absence and "take notes from Lily". James lay in the bed whistling the muggle tune "that's amore". The third year left, and Holloway seemed to have forgotten James' existence, as he disappeared behind the curtain for ten minutes. It was another twenty before the patient behind the curtain was allowed to leave, and he was given a vial of pepper-up potion.

"James?" Remus gasped, shocked at the boys presence.

"Lupin?" James whispered in the same surprised tone.

"What're you …" he started.

"I have flu" James replied, coughing for effect. "Your mum any better?" James hinted with a facetious edge.

"Err" Remus went red.

"Look, I know you're not a very good liar, because that one time you told Slughorn you had only used two mistletoe berries when you actually used like eight and you went crazy and went down to his office to apologise later on that evening, so I'll tell you the truth. I know." James rambled.

"You know what?" the other boy's eyes were very wide now, where they normally would be calm.

"Where you went, last night. And last month. And the month before that. Specifically on THAT night…" Lupin took his head into his hands. He seemed to be crying.

"Oh great. I knew I was… a whole year I thought I'd manage to…. but no…. I'll have to leave Hogwarts…" he rambled. "After all Dumbledore did… Going to pack, bye"

"What? Why?" James sat up, his flu all but gone.

"You don't want …. You're going to write to your parents. Who wants to share a castle, never mind dorm, with a … monster?"

"Oh no, I think it's cool actually," Remus' face showed confusion, but he masked it quickly with anger.

"You're wrong," he growled.

"Oh Remus, I'm never wrong. I'm James Potter. And I'm NOT writing home to my parents about this because 1. They wouldn't really care at all – I'd say they were hippies if they didn't love authority. 2. I sent my mother a letter two days ago and I don't want to look needy, 3. As I said, I think it's cool," James wondered if there was anything else to say… "And so does Sirius!"

"Sirius knows?" Lupin dropped his head back into his hands.

"Calm down. C'mon, I'm assuming you have the morning off lessons, what with the whole full moon thing yesterday. Tell me about it. Does it hurt?" James insisted, patting the bed beside him for the boy to sit.

"A lot" Remus didn't seem to be getting the same kind of enjoyment from the conversation as James.

"Is it fun?" he pestered.

"I don't remember much of it?"

"Where do you go? Dumbledore may be a coot but he's not going to have a werewolf running around the castle… "

"The Shrieking Shack… yeah, I'm the ghost that haunts it…" he said at the brightening eyes of the other boy.

"You go all the way there? Does no one see you?" he asked, so very curious by the entire situation.

"There's a short cut under the whomping willow," Remus admitted.

"That giant tree on the grounds?"

"Yeah…" he sighed.

"Awesome," this hung in the air for what felt like forever.

"Are you really not going to tell anyone?" Remus implored, his eyes turning to James who merely smiled as though it was no biggy.

"Well… I'll probably confirm it to Sirius, but other than that there seems to need to," James assured him with a grin.

"And Sirius won't tell anyone?"

"Sirius Black? Break a promise?" James joked before he realised Remus didn't know Sirius as well as he himself did. "No, he won't. So Mooney, why are you in here this morning? Flees?"

"Because I scratched myself to raw meat last night and I think I ate a rat, and I vomited up this tiny little bone cage," Remus said, allowing himself this one thing; one last chance to convince James Potter that having a werewolf for a friend wasn't ideal.

"Wow, that's crappy… You know what you need?"

"Silver bullets," Remus replied glumly.

"Friends. And some butterbeer!" James corrected him. "We'll be like the three musketeers! You Sirius and I!" James smiled, and realised the Remus probably wasn't feeling very comfortable stood looking at him. Jumping out of bed, James shouted to the healer that he was feeling okay now and that he'd go and rest in bed. Holloway didn't have enough time to argue before James skipped from the infirmary next to the werewolf boy.

"James, you don't have to pretend that I'm not a freak you know?" Remus said into the awkward silence.

"I'd hardly say you're a freak - you just have a… furry little problem. Like a terrible rabbit that chases the neighbour's dogs,"

"That has to be some terrifying rabbit," Remus said, supressing a tiny smile.

"Oh it is," James laughed. "So when did it happen?"

"I was eight. I was bitten. I have been like this ever since,"

"Cool!" James exclaimed once more. "So you could… change someone into a werewolf if you wanted?"

"No. It's completely illegal, even if the person is willing. I would never…" Remus stuttered.

"Damn," James said, scuffing his shoes on the floor with his hands in his pockets. Remus scoffed.

"You can't be serious?" he said – James obviously didn't have any idea.

"No, I'm James…" Remus stared at him darkly, to which James burst out laughing. His hilarity was so great he almost fell through the trick stair, but Remus grabbed him. They were at the Fat Lady's portrait now, and James had composed himself enough to speak the password to her and gain entry.

**The Battle of Hogwarts -**

_Remus Lupin heard Harry Potter's name being called. It rung throughout the castle and tore at what was human of his heart. He was stood outside the Gryffindor common room - the very place James Potter had asked 12 year old Remus Lupin to turn him into a werewolf. No, he had said, and he was glad he did. Beside him, his other best friend's second cousin, and his own wife smiled sadly at him. He was the only one left – the last marauder stood fighting._

_"He'll be alright," Tonks told him and squeezed his hand. "Harry's a very talented wizard,"_

_"So was James," Remus sighed. "So was Sirius. So was Lily. But Voldemort was better, and Harry's just a kid"_

_"Not better. Crueller, but not better," she corrected, laying her head on his shoulders. He smelt like wood smoke, freshly mown grass, and wet soil. It was the smell she placed with home – home where Teddy slept soundly – home where Remus would read his book by the fire – home with the faces of old friends cluttering the walls. Together, they stayed like that for five minutes, until they knew they must re-join the fight. James never could resist a good brawl – especially in the name of the greater good. He kissed his wife for the last time, and had he known he might've never stopped.  
Together, Mr and Mrs Lupin fought – for James, for Lily, for Sirius, for Dumbledore, for Teddy, for each other, for Harry._

**Second year - November**

"So, you go through that EVERY month, ALONE?" Sirius asked, after a full explanation from James and Remus when he had returned from History of Magic. The three were sat on James' bed discussing their new companionship. Remus nodded in reply to Sirius' question, with a smile etching the side of his mouth.

"It's okay, we'll sort something…" James said nonchalantly. "Hey, Remus, know any good hexes?"

"A few," Lupin admitted with a boyish grin. "Nothing spectacular,"

"Show us one," James said. "On Sirius," Sirius opened his mouth to object, but the moment he did slugs started dripping from his mouth. Giant, oozing, green slugs poured onto James' bed, but the boy didn't say anything. Instead he gripped his stomach as he laughed silently, his finger pointed at Sirius, who vomited a fresh batch of slugs. "Oh Mooney!" James wheezed through laughter, "You are the funniest werewolf I know,"

"You can't know many," Remus said sarcastically, but he was pleased none-the-less. These two loons -who were now both laughing at Sirius' misery (with the occasional arrival of more slugs)- were the first people beside his parents and Dumbledore who knew about his condition, and weirdly enough they seemed to accept him. Not just for being a werewolf, but for the hexes he knew. For his humour and the things he did. Remus removed the spell, and with a flick of his wand, made the slugs disappear, and James' bed was lovely and clean.

"I'm going to try that on Snivellus!" James proclaimed.

"Really Potter? Evans hates you enough as it is," Sirius said, and then he burped. A baby slug popped out. He wiped it away.

"No she doesn't," James laughed. "Evans is just in denial,"

"Yeah, _she's _in denial," Sirius laughed.

"Lily Evans?" Remus asked, feeling somewhat out of the loop.

"James fancies her," Sirius said.

"SIRIUS!" hissed James. "I don't fancy her –" he said blushing.

"He does. But he also likes to hex her best friend, which is a lot of fun, granted, but he thinks it doesn't annoy her,"

"Is _that_ why she was shouting at you in the charms corridor last week?" Remus asked.

"No, I had tried to tell her she was pretty that time – but she thought I was kidding and tried hitting me," James said sadly.

"Classic Evans," Sirius laughed.

Remus yawned – it had been a long night and an even longer day, so he was contemplating not going to dinner in the great hall, but his stomach rumbled. He rubbed his eyes and looked at his watch – it was much too early for dinner.

"Take a nap, Lupin – we'll wake you for dinner," James said, apparently noticing his behaviour. Remus blinked – he'd never had anyone to do that for him before. He smiled gratefully and collapsed onto his own bed. He was asleep in seconds.

When he woke up, all of the curtains in the room were pulled, and his four dorm mates were all snoring in their own beds. Remus cursed – of course it had been too good to be true – and now his stomach growled furiously. He hadn't eaten since the creature last night – and that had come right up in the morning. James had promised to wake him, hadn't he?  
That's when he spotted it.

On his bedside table was a plate, piled with roast potatoes, cottage pie, carrots, and a tumbler of pumpkin juice. Beside it sat a note reading _"Tried to wake you – you were having none of it – hope it tastes alright cold – don't worry, no rat (or slugs)"_

Remus blinked. That was nice of James and Sirius. He stretched, clicking his neck, and grabbed the plate of food and his drink, and carried it down to the common room to eat. Sitting at one of the study desks, he removed a book from one of the higher shelves and skimmed through it – he'd read it last year, but it had been interesting, so he continued to read it. When he'd finished his meal, he was too awake to go back to bed, so he read another few chapters of the book.

It must've been about midnight when the shouting started. It was coming from the girl's dormitory. He couldn't make out any words, but by the ferocity of them he could tell they were violent words. Five minutes later a door slammed and footsteps echoed in the stairwell. Unsure what to do, Remus wondered if he could run to his own dorm before the feet reached the common room.

It was too late – a small figure, puffy red eyes, messy red hair, and pyjamas stumbled onto the bottom step. She spotted Remus looking at her and they both instantly froze like a wolf in the full moon. Lily Evans was the first to move – she smiled.

"Hullo Remus, couldn't sleep either?" she walked over to the warm fireplace, and slumped behind a sofa to where he couldn't see her. Remus stood and walked over to her, and slumped next to her.

"My sleeping pattern is a bit off," the boy admitted.

"You're looking better," Lily said.

"Excuse me?" Remus froze again – could this be the second time in a day someone had guessed his secret? It seemed unlikely…

"You were looking worn out yesterday morning, but you look better rested," the girl smiled, her chin on her knees.

"Oh yes, I just came down with a bug," he lied quickly.

"I figured as much," and she left it at that. There was a minute of silence in which they both just looked at the flickering flames of the fire, dancing in red and orange, both caught in their own troubled thoughts.

"Lily…" Remus started, unsure how to proceed. She had been kind to him, and he felt like he needed to do the same. "What was the shouting about?"

"Oh," her face dropped. "You heard that did you?"

"I'm surprised Dumbledore didn't," Remus gave her a gentle smile.

"Charlotte Parkinson and I don't get along," was the only explanation she gave. "Or at least, she doesn't get along with me,"

"Why not?"

"I don't deserve the ability to do magic, apparently," Lupin gasped.

"Oh Lily! Don't listen to that foolishness. You're a fantastic witch," Remus said sincerely – it was true, Lily was better than anyone in their year at every subject (though James may just trump her in Transfiguration and Severus Snape in potions). "Much better than her – she's probably just jealous,"

"Probably, but there we go,"

"What was the point of the screaming match in the middle of the night? Shouldn't you have both been asleep?"

"I was in bed studying, actually – apparently my Lumos was keeping her awake, and _SOME PEOPLE APPRECIATE THE BLOODY USE OF BEAUTY SLEEP EVANS._ Apparently I need it more than others," Lily laughed sadly.

"Charlotte Parkinson needs a lot more than beauty sleep Lily," Remus said kindly. "But it is getting late, and even the prettier of second years need sleep to live through double potions tomorrow,"

"You're right," Lily said. "Thank you Remus, for listening. And get better," she said kindly, standing up and straightening out her night wear.

"Will do Lily,"

"Oh, before I forget –" Lily jumped, and ran to the corner of the common room. She grabbed a bad which she used to store her school things and pulled out pages of notes. "Charms we did theory on yesterday's lesson, Defence we looked at Cornish Pixies (you should be happy you missed it), Herbology was Mandrakes, and History of Magic was the second part of the Giant-War in 1992," Lily smiled and handed him the work.

"You're brilliant, thank you,"

"My pleasure Remus – goodnight,"

"Night Lily,"

It was another month before the three musketeers (a phrase James Potter constantly used but never understood the muggle meaning of) became the four marauders. It was Christmas and four of the five residents of the first year boy's dorm were staying at Hogwarts. Adam was visiting his parents. James decided he fancied one Christmas at Hogwarts, because apparently it was amazing, Sirius was banned from ever returning home unless Hogwarts burnt down, and Remus didn't want to bother his family. Peter also stayed, but no one knew why.

The majority of the second year girls were going home, other than the lovely Lily, and her Gryffindor friend, Emmeline. James had considered asking Lily if she wanted to talk a walk around the lake for a while now, but he couldn't however, manage to get her on her own to ask her, as she was always with either her dorm mates, or Severus Snape, whose hatred of James Potter only grew every time he called him a greasy git and hexed him. Plus, she might think he was joking, and planning on pushing her in the lake – which he would never have done on purpose.

It was the first day of the holidays, and most of the students had either gone home, or were enjoying their free dorms, but James (who had a full dorm) had decided to take a walk (alone, unfortunately). He had been planning on going down to the kitchens and picking up some of the delicious homemade mince pies, when he heard voices in the corridor to his left. He followed them, and lingered around the corner to see what tom-foolery was happening.

"Hey Avery," it was a cold voice. "It's that scummy Gryffindor… Oi, shouldn't you be off cleaning Potter's shoes?" Snape growled, and when James turned the corner he saw Peter Pettigrew cowering away from a group of five armed Slytherins. The small boy had his wand tucked into the back pocket of his jeans – James could see it from here – he'd never get it in time to project himself.

"Actually, I'd rather let your greasy mop do that for me, Sevvy" James threw a knock back jinx to two of the crowd, before Snape could even turn around and receive a pimple jinx right in his face. As Avery and Mulciber hit the wall behind them, Snape's face erupted into a plague of hideous spots all over his face. With a swish of his wand James arranged the pimples to read "WASH ME". In a rage, Snape sent a disarming spell at James, but he retaliated too quickly by using a leg locker curse and letting Snivellus crash to the floor. Throwing warning glares at the other Slytherins James gestured for Peter to come with him. As he turned his back Snape cried out a curse James didn't know, but he felt a ripping down his back. Holding in his pain, James muttered "Levicorpus" behind him and turned to find Snape hanging from the air.

"Snape, don't be unfriendly," he said approaching the immobile boy and punching him square in the greasy nose. "Oh, and have a bath,"

They were halfway back to the common room before Peter spoke. "Thanks, James"

"Don't mention it Peter. Any excuse," he muttered as they entered the Gryffindor common room. Sirius and Remus were in a heated game of Wizard Chess, which the latter seemed to be winning by a large margin. Sirius growled a welcome to James, when he saw the gash on his leg.

"Potter! What've you been doing?" James fell into the over-stuffed armchair as he said it. Pulling his robes and trousers up to his knee, he saw a deep gash going across the entirety of his calf. Blood poured out, with no hint of stopping.

"Heroically saved Peter from Slytherins," James grunted, his jaw clenched with pain. Sirius and Remus then seemed to notice the fourth boy, who stood sheepishly just behind James.

"Snivellus?" Sirius asked. James nodded.

"You might want to go down to Holloway," Remus recommended. He'd seen similar cuts from his own experience, and knew that they could be nasty.

"You do look pale," Sirius added. In all honesty, James felt awful and as though he was going to fall to the floor and die, but he didn't let on. The adrenaline of the fight was draining now, and so there was nothing to stop him feeling the full force of the pain.

"Fine! What a bloody good start to the holidays!" James cursed and hopped away from the other two. They looked at each other, but Sirius seemed to notice something on the chessboard.

"Knight to F6!" there was a clatter, as Sirius' knight took Remus' Bishop.

"James!" Peter said, running down after him. "You're limping,"

"Yes, Peter – I just got attacked," he joked, though his head was becoming steadily more heavy.

"I'll come with you," the boy said, following James out of the portrait hole. All in all, James was proud he managed to make it down one flight of stairs, before his body gave up entirely. He managed to get his feet off the bottom step when he slumped to the floor unconscious, to which Peter yelped. "James?" he said, advancing on the boy. He laid still, the blood dripping from his leg.

Hearing the commotion, a red haired girl hurried around the corner, and took in the sight.

"Peter! What happened?" Lily said, rushing to James' side.

"James was attacked, and I think he died of blood loss," Peter replied quickly. Lily was smart, she'd know what to do.

"Go and get Sirius and Remus, tell them to meet me in the Hospital Wing," Lily ordered, taking her wand from her robes and casting a quick levitation spell on the pale lump that was James Potter. Peter ran up the stairs and through the portrait of the Fat Lady, as Lily quickly (but not so much so that she would harm James) levitated the boy towards the hospital wing.

Remus and Sirius arrived just seconds after herself, red from running. Peter was with them. The four of them were pushed to the side as Holloway put James on the nearest cot and healed his leg. It looked like a deep cut, and took a good five minutes for the skin to stitch back together. Holloway was quick in his actions, as he ran into his storage cupboard. He returned holding a red bottle that resembled a vampire. From it he took a syringe full of the red liquid inside, and injected the formulae into James' arm, where a tourniquet was already tied. This seemed to be all he could do for the boy, because he then turned on the four spectators.

"What's all this about?" he demanded. Oddly enough it was Peter who spoke first.

"Well, I found James like this on the fifth floor, Lily quickly followed the sound of my calling, and she brought him here. I went to see if these two knew anything… they didn't," Peter said, obviously covering James' back. If they knew he'd been in a fight with the Slytherins it'd be a detention for sure.

"Is this true Miss Evans?" the healer said, turning to the most truthful of the group. Lily nodded in agreement – technically she didn't know the truth, but she bet that Peter knew more than he was letting on.

Lily left, but the other three stayed. It was an hour until James came around, his head apparently pounding. Healer Holloway passed him a glass full of a blue drink, which quenched his pain instantly.

"You okay Potter?" Sirius asked. James nodded slowly.

"What does old Holloway think happened?" James asked in return.

"Peter told him that no one knows, so just pretend you don't remember," Remus advised. Seconds later the healer advanced on the four of them and looked down at James.

"What've you been getting yourself into Potter?" he said familiarly. It wasn't the first time the boy had been levitated into the man's care with an unexplainable injury.

"Not quite sure, Dave – blood loss does that to you," James chuckled. "Can I go now?"

"I think you should stay in for the night," the healer pondered.

"But Dave, if I stay in then my credibility as a man is broken. Men heal. Women and Slytherins are the ones who need rest, real men just pick themselves up," James said.

"Fine you can go, before you insult anymore of my patients," the healer told him, to which James thought it would be rude to point out there were no more patients.

Lily spotted Sev in the crowded entrance hall and ran over to him. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek, as was the norm for the pair. He smiled, down at her and handed her a brightly coloured box. He was about to leave Hogwarts for the holidays, spending Christmas in Spinner's end with his father. Lily wished he could stay, though not as much as the boy himself. Christmas was a bad time of the year in the Snape household.

"No opening until Christmas Day, Lil," he warned her. "And keep it upright," he instructed.

"Yes sir, and thank you. Your gift is already in your bag," Severus raised his eye brows.

"How did you…?"

"Bribed a house elf with some extra laundry," and Sev laughed. It was at this point Filch called for the people going home for Christmas to follow him, so Lily waved him off and went back to the great hall, where Emmeline sat alone picking at her vegetables.

"It's going to be weird with Mary gone," she was glum. "And Marley. Nice to be rid of Donna though,"

"Don't be nasty, Donna's just a little…" Lily hesitated, "different,"

"All I meant is that it'll be nice to have the dorm to ourselves. And the majority of the common room,"

"Oh yes, other than Potter and Black," Lily moaned. Her dislike of the boys had started on their very first day, and had only grown with passion the more they hexed innocent people (mostly Severus) and walked around like they owned the place – especially since they both made the Quidditch team just a few months prior. What was this business with collapsing in the hallway? He'd probably tripped on his own ego.

"Black's not so bad!" Emmeline retorted. "And Remus is kinda cool,"

"You only say that because you fancy him," Lily goaded.

"I do not! I just don't hate him with the wrath of 1000 suns, that's all," Lily laughed at how red her friend was turning.

"I suppose Remus is a nice chap," Lily said remembering how nice he'd been to her the night Charlotte had attacked her.

"I'm surprised he hasn't gone home to see his mum. He does it enough during term time," Emmeline laughed, and Lily played along.

"It'll just be nice to have someone to play chess with," Lily said. Remus was a very good opponent.

"Potter plays chess quite well," Marlene said slyly.

"I meant a humane chess – not the wizard variety," Lily said, finishing off her pork and potatoes, and heading back to the common room with the two girls. It really was deserted, save two first years who looked sad in the corner, Alice Griffiths, with a strange boy called Frank Longbottom who was going noticeably red as he spoke with the kind third year.

"Hello Alice, do you know Emmeline?" Lily introduced.

"I've seen you guys around," Alice said nicely, waving at Lily's friend.

"Not going home for Christmas?" Lily asked, taking the seat besides Alice, leaving Em the one next to Frank. He smiled at her.

"No, my parents are visiting my sister in India. She studies Occamies there. They're these huge two legged, snaky dragon typed things. They're really cool, but I've never seen one,"

"I've read about them in Fantastic Beasts and Where to find them!" Em said, proud that she understood the conversation matter – Emmeline was very excited for Care of Magical Creatures next year, as it was a subject her father took great interest in.

Conversation played out, as Alice and Frank discussed what subjects Lily and Em should take next year (Divination is a no-no unless you really do have a seeing eye, Care of Magical Creatures is really interesting which made Em smile) when the second year boys entered the room. James tried to sit next to Lily who pushed him away and beaconed for Remus to sit beside her. She barely noticed the death stare James imprinted on the side of Lupin's head, as he sat on the floor near the fire with Peter. Sirius was sat ON Emmeline's lap. She looked uncomfortable but didn't complain.

"What're you guys taking next year?" Lily opened the conversation to the new arrivals.

"Haven't put much thought into it really," Remus said besides her.

"Me either," James and Sirius said in chorus.

"Well, I was thinking of going into magizoology," Peter said from the corner, he (like Lily and Remus) was reading the leaflet they'd been given a week previously, stating the subjects on offer for their next academic year. Everyone looked shocked. Peter was a new addition to the Potter-Gang, so no one had really spoken to him much. Lily had assumed him to be a bit of a dunderhead.

"Wow, Peter, that's really cool. So you'll be taking Care of Magical Creatures?" Emmeline asked.

"Naturally – I know some people don't like it as a subject, but I think it's interesting," he went red with everyone's eyes turned to him. "James wants to play Quidditch professionally," Peter told the group, diverting the attention from himself onto James, who willingly took it.

"Well you're certainly good enough," Alice told him. He smiled in thanks, taking the praise well, Lily thought.

"What about the two of you? Where're you headed?" James asked politely, turning to Frank.

"I've wanted to be an auror since I was about five," Frank admitted with a blush – Alice looked at him considering the boy for a moment and smiled.

"Really, Frank? That's fantastic, I'm the same!" Alice told her peer, starting their twenty minute discussion about auror training, OWLs, NEWTs and somehow their favourite candies.

"I just love muggle gum," Alice told them all. "I can't get enough of the stuff; my mum's always sending me some with her letters. I would honestly love anyone who would provide a constant supply of them," this made Frank laugh, despite the fact that it wasn't particularly funny. The two continued their conversation, completely ignoring any input from any of the second years, until Lily stood up thirty minutes, rubbing her eyes and telling them she was going to bed. Everyone decided to follow her suit, leaving both of the third years alone in the common room.

Christmas was always exciting for James, because he had the mentality of a four year old. Every year was the same, he went to sleep with butterflies in his tummy, and woke up way too early. This was always a problem when he was at home, because his mother and father insisted that he didn't wake them until 7:30 at the earliest, and even then they needed a strong cup of coffee before wrapping paper could be shred, and then his mother would make them all pancakes.

Hogwarts however, didn't have these rules. So when the sun crept over the trees of the forbidden forest and hit the window panes of the Gryffindor dormitories James was awake, and luckily he wasn't the only one. Sirius sat opposite him, with a wild grin peering over a pile of presents.

"You alright, James mate?" James stretched and nodded.

"What time is it?"

"Seven," was the reply. If he was at home right now, he'd be sat in the lounge chatting to Euggy, his favourite house elf. As it was, he could merely lean over to the end of the bed, pick up any package he wanted and rip it open. Naturally enough, when he woke he saw a long thin package at the end of his bed, and didn't even need to open it to know that it was the Nimbus 1500 he'd practically sold his soul for. The newest and best model of broom - they were using them in the next world cup. There was a note from his parents, wishing him a lovely day.

In the bed opposite him, Sirius gaped and saw with a great look of envy, James' new broom. "And all I've got a sodding Cleansweep. I'll never be able to keep up!" he muttered which made James grin.

"Oh, sorry – I must've forgotten to give you your gift yesterday," James lied, perfectly aware that he had been hiding the other boy's gift for half a month now, which had been a hard enough feat in itself. Kneeling over the side of his bed, he pulled a similarly shaped package from the case he normally kept his dad's old Silver Arrow. He threw it over to Sirius who looked at him eyes wide.

"You're kidding me, Potter?" but he was too busy tearing paper from the identical Nimbus 1500 to see James' hysterical reaction.

"I'll admit, it's not just from me – Mama and Dada Potter contributed a couple of Galleons,"

"Potter, this is the best gift in the world – I wouldn't care if you'd stolen it from Santa Clause!" Sirius was admiring the handle. "I'm sorry but I only got you a stinkin' sneakascope," he said guiltily.

"Black, it's fine. I got one too! Now you can't say that it's my broom that makes me the better flier" James joked.

There were two gifts from his father left, one from his mother (plus a very long letter James vowed he would read later and reply to asap), a basket of cakes from Hagrid, the Sneakascope from Sirius, a Quidditch book from Remus, and some butterbeer from Peter. The gift from his mother was a green leather bound journal, which only opened to the sound of his voice. The gifts from his father however, were much more curious. The first felt like a cloak, but when he opened it, he didn't see a cloak at all. In fact, all he was the wrapping paper beneath whatever was or wasn't there.

_"And the third brother hid from death until he had lived his life out to the full, and showed himself to death, greeting him as an old friend, passing the cloak to his son, as his son did after him," _the card read in his father's tidy scrawl. An invisibility cloak! James was ecstatic. He doubted his mother knew anything about Alex passing this onto his son, but that didn't matter to James at all. It certainly explained a lot of the mischief his father had apparently caused during his own time in Hogwarts.

Quickly pulling it over himself, he shouted "SIRIUS" which woke the two other boys in the room. Sirius looked up but didn't see James Potter. It was a strange feeling, being looked right through, James thought, and he wasn't sure he liked it. But he could manage some mischief with this. Pulling it off, he threw it at Sirius.

"An invisibility cloak? Mr Potter where have you been all my life?" Remus sat up, finally awake, and Sirius threw him the cloak to inspect.

"This is a good one, James. Like… I've never even read about one this good. Except, you know - the obvious," It was Peter's turn to look at the cloak now, he disappeared under it for a second then threw it back to James.

"You don't think it is the obvious?" Sirius asked James.

"Potter _is_ an old family, you could probably chase your tree back and find the Peverells somewhere," Remus said wisely as he unwrapped a box of chocolate frogs from Lily.

Turning back to his pile, he picked the second marked from his father. Inside was a mirror, which confused James, as he wasn't sure how aware his parents were of his vanity. Catching sight of himself he ruffled his hair to give it the untidy look he liked, and saw Sirius looking into a similar mirror himself. "Sirius Black, did you…" but he couldn't finish his question, as in the mirror appeared Sirius' face, looking at his face just as shell shocked as he imagined his own to look. "Did we get…"

"Your dad is SO cool," Sirius laughed, and surveyed the two way mirror. "You know what this means?" James knew EXACTLY what his best friend meant.

"I'm not going to talk to you when you're in the bath Sirius, just accept that and move on,"

"JAMES, I WOULD USE BUBBLES!" Sirius retorted, to which all of the boys in the room cracked up. James caught a look at the snitch clock on the wall. It was almost half seven.

Pulling the invisibility cloak over himself, James grabbed another badly wrapped gift from under his bed, and turned to leave the room. "Be back in a minute", he whispered to the others who were still too busy unwrapping their gifts to notice his absence/ invisibility. Sneaking down the stairs, he turned to the girl's dorm. "Locomotor gift" he said, pointing his wand at the present, and levitating it up the stairs. He banged it against the door three times, until Lily Evans opened the door to see who was knocking. She caught the gift, and James could see her reading the tag. "_Dear Lily, Merry Christmas. Much Love. X_" he remembered writing it in an unfamiliar hand, so she'd be unable to guess who had sent it.

At that moment she looked down the stairs, searching for the culprit, but the cloak hid him from view. He very much would like to go up to her and see her face as she tore the gift wrap and found a first edition copy of "Pride and Prejudice" (of which he heard her telling Mary about last July), and tell her that it was him who had delivered the gift, but he didn't. She wouldn't take it if she knew it was from him. She had a problem with the fact that he liked to hex Snape, and rarely spoke two words to him without getting angry. He liked it when she got angry, because her eyes sparkled with a burning fire and the way she insulted him made him laugh.

Returning to his dorm, he saw Lupin sporting the pair of earmuffs James and got him, and the matching gloves Sirius had. Peter was munching on what looked like some of Hagrid's cakes, and James assumed Sirius must've given them to him as a late gift. "Evans like her gift?" Sirius whispered to his best friend as they made their way to breakfast in their Pyjamas.

"I don't know, I didn't see her open it," James said (hopefully) nonchalantly, whilst secretly hoping she had loved it.

"Did she at least say thank you?" his best friend asked seriously.

"She doesn't know who it's from," James finished the conversation, by picking up two pieces of toast and a pancake. It had nothing on his mother's.

Lily Evans heard a knocking at the dorm door, and as her bed was the closest, she jumped out and opened it, wondering if it was Alice. There she saw a gift levitating at eye level. Catching it as it fell, she noticed a card. Opening it she read a small message dedicating this present to her, and more mysteries unfolded. Who would send her a gift, other than her mother or father or friends, all of which' gift were in her room? And why hadn't they signed the card? She looked down the stairs but couldn't see anyone who could've sent the present up. As she walked back into the room, Emmeline was sat on her bed next to Lily's and she looked up through a curtain of her long brown hair.

"Who's that from?" Em said whilst fashioning a stylish witch's hat on her head.

"No name," Lily said. Emmeline jumped up and hopped onto a pile of neatly placed wrapping paper and almost fell off the bed.

Lily was as curious as Emmeline, but continued with her Christmas ritual. Feel it – unwrap it neatly – fold the paper – survey the gift.

It felt hard, like a book, which was a good sign – Lily liked books. Carefully unfolding the paper she prepared to fold the red paper but caught a glimpse of the book. Quickly, she took the book in her hands. "Pride and Prejudice" she smiled to herself. She already had two copies, but they were both at home, and in any case, this was a lovely edition – leather bound. It seemed to be quite old too. Turning the cover open, she spotted the publishing date and jumped back. First edition. Of course this would mean very little Emmeline or any of her other Hogwarts' friends, who were either uninterested in books, unknowing about muggle things, or both.

Placing the book carefully on her dresser Lily turned to the next gift. It was from Petunia. It felt hard, like a photo frame, and when she unwrapped it she saw that it was indeed. However, this gift was not a nice surprise. Inside the frame, where a lovely picture of her and her sister used to be and sit on her dresser at home, was one word written in a thick red pen. FREAK. Lily sighed and cleaned up the mess with a slick of her wand. Emmeline had returned to her own bed, and looked over at Lily suspiciously.

It was at this point (after an attack from her sister) that Lily would normally source out Severus, who would tell her that it was pure jealousy on Petunia's part. He'd perform some new charm and cheer her up somehow. But at this point in time he was hundreds of miles away and had no chance to making her smile.

She actually managed to make it to the great hall (leaving Em to owl her parents) before the tears started.

The only people at the table were James Potter and his cronies, so she sat by herself and nibbled on some toast. She was miserable - on Christmas day! Tuney had ruined Christmas. Again. This time she and her fat boyfriend were unable to victimise her over the Christmas dinner, so she had to do it in another way. Tears formed in her eyes, and she dropped her head, hoping she could return to her dorm for a few hours, where no one would find her.

"Evans," a familiar voice said. James Potter stood opposite her, his blue and white pinstriped pyjamas and his caring eyes confused Lily. She thought James hated her; he certainly hated her best friend. Snape was home this Christmas, so she was about to tell him to bugger off when more tears came.

"Evans! It's Christmas. There are rules about crying at Christmas" he said softly, as though he wasn't sure how to deal with a crying girl. He was a 12 year old boy, it was a fair reaction.

"Go away Potter," she managed finally.

"Hey now, Lily. What's wrong?" he took a seat opposite her and forced her to look at him.

"It's… my sister," Lily admitted. "She… she hates me," she croaked.

"It's not possible to hate you Lily. It's probably just a misunderstanding?" he suggested kindly, with a smile she'd never seen before.

"She called me a freak when I got my Hogwarts letter," James was shocked by this. Family don't do that kind of thing, especially in the wizarding world. That's why blood-traitors were so hated.

"Oh, that's crap… she's just a sod," James tried, but to little avail.

"That's the thing Potter; she's not a sod at all. We were best friends for years, and then one day…" Lily dropped her hands and deflated.

"Well, what good is sulking on Christmas?" he asked her with a smile gentler than she would've thought possible from him. "Come and join us?" he offered. Lily was about to reject his offer politely, when she wondered what harm it could do. At least the four boys could be funny sometimes – they'd probably take her mind of things. And James was right – it was Christmas day. She shouldn't allow Petunia to make her feel so cross.

The day was mostly brilliant. Emmeline joined her at the breakfast table, and all of the second year Gryffindors shared in a meal of croissants, pancakes, and bacon. After they were all stuffed, they deliberated and decided to have a snowball fight. Lily, James and Sirius VS Emmeline Remus and Peter – it was safe to say that the latter team were annihilated. With a mixture of James' and Sirius' utter ferocity and speed at making snowballs, and Lily's levitating charms, the other team ended up dripping and freezing to the bone. The snow started falling once more and the group worked together (mostly) to make a snow-Dumbledore. When finished, Lily and Remus charmed it to walk around saying "TWENTY POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!"

By the point in which everyone was too cold to move their limbs, they made their way to the common room to defrost. The girls all changed into something dry, whereas the boys just sat as close to the fire as possible without being burned. Alice Griffiths and Frank Longbottom joined them as they all made their way down to the Great Hall for the legendary Hogwarts' Christmas Feast.

There were only about twenty people, including professors. The second year Gryffindors completely outnumbered everyone else, and they all sat in a group around the one table at which they all ate, discussing their snow adventures. Lily pulled a wizard cracker with James, which exploded in the boy's face. He gave her the hat that was supposed to be a panda's head, and he took the dung-bombs with a wink. Reading the joke aloud, the group burst into hysterics. A pudding was brought out flaming, and a number of chocolate cakes, and mint humbugs were offered, to which Lily indulged.

"I loved the Snow-Dumbledore," Alice told the 2nd years. Apparently when they left he had started throwing snow balls at anyone who passed by – something James swore he knew nothing about. Dumbledore himself enquired from Alice about the snow Dumbledore and chuckled merrily when she told him.

"Wonderful. I hope you got my beard right – I am rather fond of it," he said smiling to the group.  
Then conversation turned to the gifts they'd received. James went silent, saying he only got a few bits and bobs (though he did have a five minute rant about broomsticks with a fifth year Ravenclaw), Sirius was much the same. Lily's mind however, returned to the FREAK picture and she was filled with sadness once more – the happiness of the day melting like the snow.

It was pitch black outside and in the enchanted sky when everyone left, but Lily decided that she was going to go for a walk. When her friends turned left she went right, and headed outside. Shivering, she wished she'd brought a cloak, but sat in the courtyard as it snowed down upon her, clinging in her hair. The fountain had turned to ice overnight, and the moon was beautiful – too much of a beautiful day to be sad, she thought mournfully.

"Not cold, Evans?" a voice spoke. It was James again, she wondered how long he'd been there. Turning around, she saw the boy – cloak pulled over his shoulders and done up to his chin, thick snow boots.

"I'll live," she said.

"Until you get pneumonia," he pointed out, picking up a small rock from the floor. With a tap of his wand and the muttering of a spell, he was holding a thick coat, much like his own. He held it out to Lily, who (flabbergasted) took it with a smile.

"Thank you – that was impressive," she complimented. James shrugged, not basking in the brilliance of himself, which Lily thought was a nice change.

"Transfiguration – it's my thing," he laughed simply. Laughing was something he made seem so easy – sometimes she found herself wondering if they both had ever known sadness, because when he laughed he did so freely, without worry or regret. When he was laughing his face was less angular and handsome (which he inevitably was, though she barely liked to agree to such truths) and his eyes lit up with the joke. James Potter suited his laughter, and she could not imagine the one without the other.

"I thought Quidditch was your thing?" she questioned, pulling the thick cloak up to her chin to keep out the cold.

"I have a lot of _things_, you totally underestimate me,"

"Sometimes I think I do, until you make me believe that it is the rest of the world that overestimates you," Lily said, matter-of-factly.

"Sometimes, so do I," they both went quite. "I'm sorry about your sister,"

"Me too," Lily chuckled.

"You should hex her," he suggested with that mirthful grin that she had, on more than one occasion, wanted to knock of his face.

"James, I don't think that would help…" his face fell into an unreadable mask, and then he smiled again.

"You called me James," she thought about it for a second. So she had.

"Shut up Potter, we were having a nice moment," she laughed, nudging him in the ribs, causing him to laugh even more.

"Evans, you're going to be the death of me," he told her. "So c'mon, why don't you just hex her?"

"Well, for one thing it's illegal. Another thing, it's… I don't want to hurt her – maybe if I just wait she'll grow up and accept me," Lily wondered wisely.

"Maybe," James said, without a hint of belief at its truth.

"It's funny," Lily noted, with no ounce of humour in her face, "I don't fit in at home, because I'm not muggle enough for my sister – and I don't fit in here because I'm too muggle for the likes of Charlotte Parkinson,"

"Lottie is giving you grief for being muggleborn?" James asked. Lily nodded. "That's a bit harsh of her – then again, she is distantly related to Sirius,"

"But Sirius isn't like that – not even a little bit," Lily pointed out. If there were boys like Sirius who could see right from wrong, why couldn't everyone?

"His family are – you heard the howler last year – they're crazy blood purity types. Like the Malfoys, and the Rosiers and the Mulcibers and the Princes…" James stopped talking at once.

"The Princes?" Lily asked – if she was correct in thinking, Prince had been Severus' mum's maiden name.

"Yes, your pal Severus – his lineage is very pro-purity. At least, his grandparents are – his mother is a blood traitor, marrying a muggle. Not very royal of her,"

"Sev's dad isn't exactly… fond of magic," Lily informed James, trying not to give away too much of Severus's personal life. That was a part of his life that he didn't even like her knowing about, because it made her worry so.

"I've heard…" the silence lingered, "So what's your sister like?"

"A year older than me – she used to be really funny, but now she's just cruel. I haven't really had a proper conversation with her for a while. What about you, Potter, any siblings?" Lily questioned, curious to know more about the boy she had avoided for over a year.

"No, it's just me. My parents are quite old as it is, and I think I might be somewhat of a handful for them – especially since Sirius is normally staying with us whenever I'm home," James explained easily.

"He stays with you often?" the girl wondered.

"As often as possible – my parents love him. They don't want him around that family of his – I've met his mum, she's torture," James laughed, to which Lily looked at him. "I knew it…"

"What?" she asked, suddenly very wary of the boy's change of tone.

"We _can_ have a conversation without wanting to curse each other," he said with a smile.

"Well… it is Christmas, I'm merely being charitable," Lily laughed.

"C'mon, let's get back to the common room before Sirius thinks you've murdered me and hidden my body in the forbidden forest," James said, making Lily burst into laughter. "I'm totally serious, he's very protective of me," to which Lily giggled even more.

The evening was mostly merry – Alice and Frank joined the second years in the common room for carol singing (courtesy of Sirius and Emmeline, the two second years singing the worst rendition of "Oh Christmas Tree" Lily had ever heard), playing exploding snap, and Emmeline and Alice falling asleep on the sofas. Lily levitated them to their beds, and tucked them in sweetly. Not tired in the slightest, Lily went back downstairs and sunk into the armchair near Sirius.  
"I can't believe I missed Doctor Who," Lily sighed, bringing forth puzzled looks from all of the boys except Remus. "C'mon, it's a TV show?"

"I don't even know what a TV is, Evans," Sirius laughed.

"It's like a pensive, but instead of watching your memories you watch fictional people doing things. In the case of Doctor Who it's some old guy shooting giant bins with a screwdriver," Remus helped.

"They are Daleks, not giant bins," Lily added indignantly. "They're the evil alien race that the Doctor hates,"

"So when does he heal people?" Peter questioned, seemingly interested in the odd workings of the TV show.

"He doesn't really heal people… it's kind of his name," Lily explained badly.

"His parents didn't think that through," Sirius pointed out. Sighing Lily continued to try and educate them in Doctor Who.

"It's not his real name," she exclaimed.

"What is his real name?" James asked of her. She shrugged.

"No one knows – it's a secret. I'm hoping we'll find out in the next series," she smiled, hoping they were beginning to catch on.

"I bet it's something really common like Dave," James suggested happily.

"He's a time lord! His name isn't going to be Dave. He can travel through time and space, and he takes an assistant with him to help him save the day!" Lily explained.

"And muggles like this stuff?" James asked.

"Apparently," Peter laughed. Lily threw a cushion at his face, to which the other three boys laughed.

"Where's Frank?" Lily asked, noticing their absence.

"They went up to bed, like we should – it's 11 o'clock" Remus said sensibly.

"Lighten up Remus, it's Christmas," Sirius groaned.

"That excuse will only work for another hour," the boy pointed out.

"Remus is right, we should go to bed," this from Lily. "I want to get up early to get some work done,"

"Freak," Sirius joked. Whether it was Lily's face falling into a blur of tears, or that fact that James immediately kicked him where he sat, Sirius realised that he'd said something wrong. "Oh, I'm sorry Lily! I didn't mean it! Working is fine! It was just a joke!" Without stopping to think, James jumped over the two bodies that sat between him and Lily, pushing Sirius away with a stern look.

"He didn't mean it like that Lily, the boy's a dunderhead," James said kindly. Sirius nodded and agreed.

"I know he didn't, I'd just forgotten the whole fiasco…" the tears were fresh, streaming down her cheeks, growing cold as they reached her lips.

"C'mon, let's get you some Chocolate Frogs," James said, standing up and gesturing for everyone to follow him up to the second year boy's dorm.

"Am I… allowed up there?" Lily asked tentatively, her eyes still damp.

"Yeah, it's only the boys who aren't allowed in the girl's dorm – apparently your gender is more trustworthy than ours," Sirius said, and having set the alarm off three times in his first year Lily had to agree.

"Godric Gryffindor obviously never met Mary Macdonald then," Lily laughed, and followed James' steps up the stairwell.

Lily was tired, and she had a headache. Luckily her dorm was empty, when she woke up, so there was no one to ask her why she came in so late last night. She wanted to forget the entire event and cry, but alas, it was time for breakfast, and Lily hated missing meals - especially meals in which Croissants were presents. Pulling on her Christmas jumper, and putting on a pair of slippers, the redhead made her way into the common room. Whilst she had been pleasantly surprised to find her dorm vacant, she was not blessed with the same luck down here. There sat the person she least wanted to see (except maybe Petunia). James Potter was sat on the sofa nearest the fire, toasting his feet in the flames. She wondered if there was any chance she'd be able to walk right past him without him knowing, but as she stood there thinking, the boy in question turned and saw her.

"Lily, how're you feeling this morning?" The truth was that she was feeling grotty like a person who had just the night before, cried on James Potter's shoulder (in front of his three dorm mates) and gone to sleep feeling wretched. She could hardly shout at him and tell him to mind his own business – he'd been so kind to her the day before, so she said:

"Fine, just hungry," which wasn't far off the truth.

Slipping on his shoes, James jumped up with a grin on his face. "Me too!" he told her and made for the portrait of the fat lady. He looked back to flash her a grin – his happiness too great for someone merely going down to breakfast. She wondered if he'd been waiting for her to come down, but ignored the thought.

"Where're the others. I don't think I've ever seen you without Sirius, for more than two minutes. At least not willingly" Lily commented, as James seemed to persist in walking with her to the Great Hall.

"Remus' mum is ill, Sirius is in detention for maybe or maybe not trying to convince the house elves to steal all of the Slytherin's presents in the early hours of this morning, and I think Pettigrew is up in the owlery sending out thank you letters to his family. Emmeline and Alice are down in the Great Hall by the way."

"So you're the lone marauder," Lily said. James let out a laugh.

"Marauders…. I like that," he said as they entered the great hall. He seemed to still be mulling the word over in his head, when they both took seats near Emmeline and Peter. Peter was blushing a hideous red colour, whilst Alice was complimenting him on his ear muffs. Lily smiled at their friends, none of whom (bar Emmeline) took much notice in her entrance with James. She grabbed a croissant and quickly filled it with butter.

"What're you going to do today Lily?" Emmeline asked.

"I was going to look over my transfiguration essay, and start on potions, but I might just read. Remember that lovely book I got yesterday? Of course, I've read it a hundred times, but this copy is special." She saw James pull a face that was almost a smile almost choking, "You're a wizard, you probably wouldn't understand…" she added to him, but blushed red at how geeky she must sound.

"Try me…" James challenged.

"Imagine… you're a huge fan of Merlin… and then you got the first book he ever published, the first time he published it. It's like that," Lily smiled to herself absentmindedly, proud of the analogy. Happiness overcame James, though he didn't reply – he didn't want her to know it was from him, but was glad she liked the gift.

"So what're you three planning today? Not going to dork out like this one?" James asked the other three girls.

"Strict exercise," Emmeline said – he noticed then that she was munching on an apple, rather than the normal eggs and bacon. "Ate too much yesterday – food baby crisis," she explained. "I was going to watch Sirius flying, but the conditions are awful,"

"Yes, it's a shame really, isn't it?" James replied.

"Marlene is great at Quidditch," Lily added, not knowing anything else to say.

"Oh really? I didn't know she flew?" James asked, interested in what she had to say.

"Yeah, she was going to try out for the team, but I think she thought she wasn't good enough," Emmeline said.

"Sirius and I got on the team and we're only second years," James pointed out. "Though, we are pretty excellent," Lily rolled her eyes.

"Alice?"

"I was just going to have a lazy day," Alice replied. "I need to write to my family,"

"I just did that!" Peter said excitedly, "I wrote home, said thanks and Merry Christmas to my folks,"

"Very nice Peter," Em said to the boy, shooting an asking look to Lily. Lily shrugged.

The downside to arriving to breakfast late is that everyone else leaves when you're only on your second croissant. Alice was headed back to the dorm with Peter, whereas Emmeline vowed she was going for a run in the grounds. James warned her that she'd catch her death, but she ignored him and asked "what's the point in being a wizard if you can't warm your legs up?" to which James just laughed. Frank came into the Great Hall just as Alice was leaving it and he fell over his feet as she greeted him.

"How long until those two hook up?" James said in a whisper to Lily. Pondering this, Lily replied:

"Three weeks,"

"I give it two,"

"We'll see," Lily said slyly.

"So er… Evans, I know you're pretty down about your sister, but you don't have to spend the day alone doing work," he felt his stomach in a knot. He almost hadn't meant to say it - he was asking out Lily Evans. Of course, at this point James Potter didn't know that he would ask Lily Evans out at least twice a week for the next five years – this was a big step. "Fancy walking the grounds with me?"

"We'd catch our death – you said it yourself,"

"Well, we could walk around the castle," he suggested, feeling the worry that she'd rejected him encapsulate his cut.

"Not really in the mood for walking…"

"I could come and help you study," Lily was about to scoff at the idea of James Potter studying when the mail came. It was only a small flock of owls, compared to the normal bombardment, but one did soar towards the second years and drop a letter on Lily's plate. Perhaps, without the interruption of a letter that would certainly change her view of James Potter, Lily might have said yes, but there is was. A small piece of parchment, red ink, scrawled handwriting. It read:

_Lily,_

_Spinner's End is … well you're aware of it. I saw Petunia and that oaf of a muggle she seems to acquaint herself with – lard of a boy. I very much had the desire to try out a hex I've been working on. I'm quite sure it would have been spectacular, only my father was nearby and… you know how he feels about magic. Maybe if I see him wandering around Cokeworth when I am alone?_

_I'm sorry I was unable to say a proper goodbye to you before my departure home, and that our farewells were so brief. Only, that James Potter and his friends attacked me in the corridors. I would much rather have been spending those twenty minutes I spent dangling in the air, talking to you, but what can any of us do about Potter and his arrogance? I hope you haven't had to see him too much; I do worry what he might do if he gets you alone. There are rumours that he fancies you – which you're too smart to adhere to, I am sure._

_Thank you very much for the book, it is fantastic. I spent my entire evening reading it, taking break only to write this to you. Potions really are fascinating – I'm sure you're aware. I have learnt a lot from it. Thank you also for the fudge, vanilla – my favourite as you well know. The card you sent has been used as a book mark at the moment – I didn't realise you had that picture of us until I saw it. I wasn't aware you'd had your camera out when we were catching moths in the park, but I appreciate it none the less._

_I hope Christmas went well, and that you liked my gift. I charmed the lily myself - it'll not die – never. Keep it with you._

_Please write soon, wish you were here,_

_Sev_

Lily read the letter twice, looked up and saw James smiling patiently. "Actually," she started, anger raising in her voice, "You know what Potter? No. Leave me alone," Lily rose from her seat, grabbing the remainder of her croissant from her plate, and went to storm from the hall, but James caught her arm.

"What? Was that from your sister?" he implored, his eyes wide with worry.

"No, it was from Sev," James' face turned from worried to angry in the space of a second. "He was just telling me why he couldn't say a proper goodbye to me before he left for the holidays," Lily glared.

"And why's that?" James asked, his free hand pushing through his messy hair. It was at that point Lily lost it.

"Because, Potter, apparently you and your stupid little gang attacked him in the corridor! Do you know anything about that?"

"The conniving git," James cursed. "It was your darling Severus who attacked us, Lily,"

"I don't believe you!" she yelled proudly.

"Of course you don't, because you don't want to! You don't even talk to me unless you're sad or lonely or whatever. I don't understand why you hang out with Severus, but I think I might see why he sticks with you. You're needy and self-righteous, and you're a manipulative witch," Lily felt like she'd been punched.

"At least Severus has the capability to think about others for more than five seconds! You saw I was sad and took it as an invitation to ask me out! You're arrogant, self-centred, egotistical and a bully. I don't want anything to do you with you, Potter!" and with that she threw her hair over her shoulder and exited the Great Hall, letter in hand. _Severus was right_, Lily thought_. James Potter was constantly acting like he knew everything, when in fact Severus himself was much smarter. He also thought that because he was a chaser, he was god of Quidditch, and always seemed to be hexing innocent first years, and Slytherins, and anyone who wouldn't hex back._

James fell to his seat at the table totally shocked. He hadn't meant to say those things to Lily, though they were mostly true. She thought she was the standing authority on everything, and James was bored of it.

Peter came back in a few minutes later, red in the face and trembling. "Lily just shouted at me. She told me to tell you to never ask her out or even talk to her again if you know what's good for you, and for those stinking marauders to stop hexing innocent people," the boy relayed.

"HEY! They're not innocent!" James argued.

"That's what I told her, then her eyes grew really big and she compared us to… you know… Vo-"

"That's ridiculous!" James exclaimed, something which (when relaying the story to the two other marauders later on) Sirius would repeat.

"She's crazy…"

"She's mental," James sighed throwing down his toast. "Fancy breaking Sirius out of detention?"

Sitting in the library was Lily's favourite thing to do. It was completely empty - of course. It was the day after Christmas, so anyone who WAS in the castle was spending their time out in the snow that covered the grounds like icing sugar on a cake. Having finished all of her work, Lily was doing some light reading. She fancied learning a few charms that Alice Griffiths had told her about, but wasn't sure it was of her capability.

It took her ten minutes to master each one, and when bored with even reading Lily packed up her books and headed to the common room. Luckily it was empty, so she assumed Potter and the others were off enchanting snow balls to fly at people. That seemed like the stupid kind of prank they'd do. She searched far and wide for her friends, but found only a note from Em saying "Lil, we're out with the guys, come find us!" Lily scrunched the note up and threw it into the fireplace.

"It's a shame Remus can't see this!" James shouted to his friend through the howling of the wind. A group of fifth year Hufflepuffs strolled by in their winter's best, when all of a sudden a snowman just ten metres away from them came to life growling at them. Snow Filch! They ran screaming, and James fell on his back with laughter, behind the wall they had built from snow. Behind him, Emmeline, Frank and Alice were all lying in the snow making snow angels.

"He'd only tell us to stop," Sirius said, aiming his wand a lone Ravenclaw.

"You're right - for a werewolf he really is a prude," James said too loudly, over the sound of gushing wind.

"A what?" Peter squeaked, falling into the snow and immersing seconds later. "A werewolf?" Sirius and James looked at each other with wide eyes. James span, but luckily the two girls and Frank were so deep in snow they couldn't even hear each other, never mind them.

"We could obliviate him?" Sirius suggested, not taking note of Peter at all. "So he doesn't tell,"

"No, I don't mind!" Peter said in a small voice, cowering from the taller boy who had his wand ready. "I figured there was something odd about him anyway,"

"So you're not going to run around telling everyone?" James asked, heading towards the boy threateningly.

"Anyone?" Sirius corrected.

"Of course not. No," and James and Sirius looked at each other. A five second silent conversation passed between them and then:

"Welcome to the marauders, Peter!" James said happily.

"The marauders?" Sirius asked as he sent a snowball at Hagrid's back. The game keeper jumped back and looked around, but saw nothing.

"It's our collective name. I came up with it earlier" James said quickly.

"Hey, isn't that what Lily shouted at me?" Peter squeaked once more.

"Shut up Peter," James said, concentrating all of his attentions on Professor Goliath (the ageing ancient runes professor). There was a splat and he was covered in a mound of snow. Chuckling to himself, the teacher stood up and made his way to Hagrid's cottage.

The remainder of the Christmas holidays passed quickly and Lily was happy when lessons started because it meant she could get her mind back on work. Her and Sev spent hours in the evening working in the library, so when she got to bed she was so tired she didn't really have to think about her sister, or James Potter. Since her outburst at the boy on Boxing Day, he seemed to have reached a new level of arrogance and cruelty. Sev constantly complained to her about him, and whilst before she had minded slightly, now she encouraged it.

The second Quidditch game of the year came half way through January - Gryffindor vs Hufflepuff. Lily, who had always had a fear of flying, did not attend the game, but rather stayed in the thankfully quiet library with Sev – they were the only ones. Their most recent History of Magic essay was about Gondor the Grim, a wizard who would go to random muggle villages in the middle-ages and kill anyone he saw. True to his name, Gondor was a grim bloke.

"A bit like Potter this one," Lily noted into the silence.

"I do rather believe that his hair is much better," Severus joked and Lily laughed. The only illustration the pair had of Gondor depicted him as balding, wearing a pheasant as a hat.

"Probably a nicer man to chat to, more personality" Lily said, and they continued their working in silence. About two hours later, a rumbling of feet on stairs and celebration came, and Lily assumed the game was over. Sure enough, a bunch of Ravenclaws clambered into the library loudly, complaining about their amount of work, and how long the game had been.

"Well Terry Burke saw the snitch about seven times, but Hufflepuff had a 160 point lead. Honestly, I don't know why Weasley is the captain. Doesn't know the tail from the head of the broom. They should just appoint Potter, he's by far better,"

"He's only a second year," another Ravenclaw argued.

"Yeah, but he's the best player on the team!" Sev seemed to have no trouble ignoring their loud chit chat, but Lily couldn't concentrate of the Culling of York with this banter. _This is a library_, she thought seething to herself, _where's Madam Price when you need her?_

"And he's good looking," and third voice said. This was met by a mixture of giggles and gasps.

"Really, Karen, he's two whole years younger than us,"

"Then grab me a time-turner ladies because I'm-" but they never did find out what Karen was because -

"WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?" Lily barked at the group. They all looked very shocked, and Madam Price gave Lily a stern look, which she ignored. She shouldn't be shouting at her – it was the fourth years doing all the talking. "Potter loves himself ENOUGH for everyone in this damn school, and not everyone cares about how cute his hair looks when messy or how good at Quidditch he is!" Severus seemed to be smiling, but he stopped it before it became a habit. "He's a nasty idiot and he isn't as good looking as everyone says he is – plus Quidditch is just a sport ladies – one day soon he'll take one of those stupid balls to the head, losing his apparent charm and everyone will realise this!"

"Miss Evans, please leave the library. This behaviour is not tolerated!" Price screamed, and Lily went to pack up her things into her bag, but Severus had already done it. Sullenly they left the library, Severus cracking up – Lily's hands were trembling with adrenaline.

"Oh Lily," he laughed. "You just shouted at fourth years,"

"I'll hex them next time - maybe a good pimple charm will sort them out!" Severus winced. "Oh Sorry Sev, I forgot that git used that on you," She screamed in anger. "What time is it?"

"Almost 4." Sev replied immediately. "Fancy going for a walk?" Lily nodded and they headed out towards the grounds. Most of the snow had melted now, so there was little danger of being hit in the face with an enchanted snowball, or chased by a Snow-Hagrid. Plus, Lily thought darkly, the bloody marauders were probably off celebrating James' hair products and how streamline they make him.

They were near the lake before either one of them broke the silence.

"Lily," Severus started. "Why do you hate Potter so much?"

"Really Sev?" Lily started, anger boiling up in her. She was ready for a good rant. "The way he struts around the place like he owns it, how he doesn't put any effort into anything and still does quite well, how he and Black think they are god's gift to witches. His hair is stupid, hair-brushes exist for a reason you know James, and the way that no matter how much he hexes people, or acts like an idiot, or traps Mrs Norris in a locked room over the weekend, there are still fourth year Ravenclaws who agree with his arrogance! Surely you know all of that Sev?" She took a breath. "He hexed you!"

"No, it's just that… you didn't _really_ have a problem with him before Christmas. Sure, he was egotistical and does that crazy-staring thing, but you were always perfectly polite Lily to him the majority of the time. You never shouted at fourth years when they idolized him. What happened when I was gone?"

"Well he hung you up in the air with magic - which is against the rules by the way,"

"It's not like he hasn't done that before…." Severus was serious now.

"Well…" Remembering Christmas day brought tears to Lily's eyes: The horrible gift Petunia had sent her, being found by Potter, crying her eyes out at breakfast -sitting in his dorm with the Marauders all offering her sweets and constellation. "Tuney sent me an awful gift. She ruined the picture I had on my night stand and sent me the frame with the word "Freak" in it. Then I was crying in the great hall at breakfast, and Potter saw but he didn't leave me alone. I managed to convince him to get lost, so I spent the rest of the day with the girls…" Lily purposefully left out the fact that the boys had been there too. "Then, after the feast I decided to take a walk, and he found me, so I told him what was wrong. Then Sirius made me cry again later on in the Common room, so he took me up to his dorm…"

"LILY!" Severus shouted.

"Oh ew, not like that Sev. Remus and Peter and Sirius were there, and they gave me some sweets, and we had a nice evening playing exploding snap, and then I cried some more, and probably ruined his sheets, but he was really nice about it. Then he walked me to the stairs to my dorm and told me to cheer up. Then the next day he… he bloody well asked me out!" Lily cried indignantly. "He has the cheek to be an utter sod to you, and then pretend like he's a nice guy just so I'll go out with him! Outrageous!" Lily remarked. Severus had gone quite.

"So you told him no?"

"I would rather go to Diagon Alley with the giant squid than HIM Severus, you understand, right?" it was Lily's turn to go quiet. Severus concealed a smile.

Up in the dormitory the Gryffindors were cheering non-stop. James threw the snitch he had "forgotten" to return after the match into the air, and caught it again a few seconds later. Sirius had smuggled some food from the kitchens and the entire common room with filled with celebrating students. When Lily returned to the common room, she headed straight for her bedroom, but was stopped by James Potter, who blocked the stairwell. His expression was less than friendly.

"Evans, why is it that I had a group of Ravenclaws telling me to keep control of my angry-ginger?" James demanded, a serious expression controlling his face.

"I don't know, it depends what they told you," she said curtly, trying to wriggle past him and up to her dorm.

"Apparently you've been shouting at some of my fans? I mean, jealousy is cute Evans, but…" there was a ghost of angry humour in his eyes. Lily wanted to slap him.

"Shut up," she snapped.

"Where've you been?" James demanded, expertly blocking the stairwell still.

"Studying with Severus,"

"Snivillus? Is he your boyfriend Evans?" James taunted, but inside he dreaded the answer. _Losing out on Lily Evans to THAT_. At least James knew how a shower functioned.

"No, Severus is not my boyfriend. He is merely my friend. Some people don't have the need to ask everyone around them out," Lily muttered angrily, wishing that he would just let her go.

"Oh Evans, I don't ask EVERYONE out. Only you!" he laughed, not knowing why he was being so cocky. Her rejection of him had been the bane of his life for almost a month now, and it made him feel dreadful to be laughing about it.

"Well, don't do it again," She told him fiercely. He loved it when she was angry at him.

"I'll stop asking you out on one condition," he told her.

"And what's that?" She wondered.

"You go out with me?" This made her fume. Snatching the snitch out of James' hand she threw it out of the window, where it flew away. "Damnit Evans, now I have to go and get that!" he threatened, which, of course, he went through with. Grabbing his Nimbus (which lay on one of the study desks) James jumped on and soared out of the window. The common room erupted and ran to the window to get the best view. Lily grabbed her books and went up to her room, where Mary was lying in bed reading Witch Weekly.

"Not down celebrating Potter, with the rest of the fan club?" Lily asked sourly.

"You really hate him don't you?" she said over an article about the best potion for luscious nails.

"He keeps asking me out!" Lily sighed, falling on her own bed backwards.

"Once isn't a lot Lily," her friend consoled.

"He did again, just now,"

"And what did you say?"

"I said no and threw his snitch out an open window," Mary laughed. "I bet Marlene is enjoying that,"

"Hmm?" Lily questioned.

"Marlene has a thing for Potter," Mary explained. Lily grunted.

"I thought she had a thing for Sirius,"

"Yeah, but Potter's thirteen, Sirius is only twelve. She thinks Potter would be a good kisser," Lily retched.

"Personally I don't know why people are going around trying to enamour one other. I am quite content with my friends and my studies. I believe that exams are much more important than boyfriends and such," Lily announced as she put her books into her trunk.

"Oh Lily, one day you're going to laugh at the fact that you said that," Mary said, giggling to herself.

"I really doubt it. A good future is never a laughing matter," Lily reminded her friend.

"You could have a good future with Potter – you could even tell Marley if he's a good kisser," Mary joked, making kissy sounds across the room.

"That's just wrong. I wish Marlene all the luck in the world with enticing Potter, but honestly – if she starts making him hang around with us she will no longer be my chum,"

"Lily…"

"Yes?"

"Get back to your studies," Mary said, which set her off laughing once more, gripping her stomach from the pain of it.

"I vow to you that I will NEVER kiss James Potter. EVER."

_Between her third and sixth year, Lily Evans had twelve kisses, and at least half of them were from James Potter._


	3. Chapter 3 The First of Many

**Chapter Three – The First of Many**

**Third Year - October**

Lily felt as though she needed a time turner to get all of her work done. As it was she was taking more classes than anyone else in their year, and so she barely managed to keep on top of things. Care of Magical Creatures wasn't much hard work really – a lot of illustration work, and notes, but no essays. Ancient Runes was fantastic – she found it very interesting, seeing how the different symbols created the gateway to their communication. Divination was a subject she wished she hadn't taken, however. It had been a month, and therefore was too late to go to McGonagall and ask if she could switch to a better (more useful) subject, such as the highly acclaimed Arithmancy. Hell, she'd even take muggle studies – at least she'd ace that!

The worst thing about divination was that it was always a double lesson, and at the end of her Friday afternoons there was nothing she'd have liked more than to grab a quick lunch and retire to her lovely four poster bed with a heavy, dusty book in hand. Having never skipped a class in her entire schooling experience, Lily knew that this could not be the case, and by lunch she was already planning her evening, and which book she was going to read.

Mary sat with her at lunch, the pair of them the only ones from their friendship group that hadn't skipped muggle studies to go and watch the first years fall off their brooms in flying practise.

"I don't see how Dumbledore can accept the fact that Divination exists as a subject. It's so mind-numbing,"

"I don't mind it…" Mary said dreamily.

"Of course you don't – you're partnered with Emmeline. Do you know how awful Marlene is? She just says she sees attractive men in my future," Lily sighed, wishing that if she was going to be forced to do the stupid subject, her partner could at least take it seriously.

"Maybe she does…" a voice joked in her ear. She jumped frantically and flailed her arms wildly, whacking her attacker in the face.

"Sorry!" she yelped, but turned quickly to see James Potter stood in the middle of the Great Hall, shrieking and gripping his nose. "Oh, it's you, never mind,"

"Manners, Lil," Mary reminded her pointedly.

"Go away," she ordered. "Please," was added for emphasis.

"Evans, I am simply fulfilling your destiny," James said, sliding into the seat beside her. She wanted to push him off and tell him to find his own seat, but it was a free table and he could technically sit wherever he wanted.

"Potter, Marley foretold that they'd be attractive – not resembling someone who fell off their broom backwards," Lily quipped, with a sassy grin.

"You wound me," he told her dramatically. "Anyway, I simply came over here to warn you away from Sirius,"

"Why?" Mary asked.

"He's going crazy – I was looking for Em, she'd probably know how to chill him out," James ruffled his hair, and Lily wanted to hit him again.

"What's got him so rallied?" Mary questioned.

"He's asking someone to Hogsmeade later," Potter explained, causing Mary to jump at the sound of gossip.

"Oh! Who is it?" she screamed in a pitch so high the ghosts gripped their ears.

"That's why I came to warn you away," James said, "Marlene,"

"Marlene?" her face fell into a blank mask, before radiating into a grin. "That's fantastic,"

"It is?" James asked, as confused as Lily was. They both thought she'd been trying to set Marlene up with Dung Fletcher from the year above. Lily didn't think much of Dung – his attempt at growing his hair like the singer from the Four Witches had gone awfully, and he almost looked homeless.

"What about Dung?" Lily asked. "Is his future no longer in trajectory with our Marlene's?"

"Screw Dung, this is Sirius Black, Lily. He's a marauder," Mary said as though the answer was obvious. Of course, the answer _was_ obvious – Sirius Black was unfairly handsome, and talk across the entire rumour mill had bee of who he would be asking to his first Hogsmeade trip. Lily felt sure that there were fifth year girls who wouldn't mind if it was them – the fact that it was their Marlene was a big deal; or at least it was a big deal to anyone who gave a damn.

"We _are_ like royalty," James admitted happily, and then yelped once more as Lily gave into the violent urge to hit him.

"Must you encourage him?" she begged of her friend, who had been nodding along to the concept of Marauders for kings.

"Shut up Lily, Sirius Black is going to ask Marley to Hogsmead. Who're you asking James?" Mary turned to the boy like an eagle. Her eyes were bulging from her face as she pondered his answer.

"Lily, go out with me?" he said without turning to look at her.

"No," Lily replied as a reflex. It was their game – he'd ask her out in the most peculiar ways imaginable, and she would reject him, despite how hilarious the proposal had been. Nothing would change that.

"No one," James answered Marlene. He turned to Lily with an accusing eye. "Why not?"

"I'm going with my friends," she exclaimed, ready to pull out her lecture on feminine solidarity, or the fact that some women don't find it necessary and prudent to have a date for every outing they attend.

"Both Mary and Marlene have plans," he pointed out.

"Emmeline," Lily said.

"Who says Remus isn't going to ask her?" James threatened. Lily thought to herself that that'd be brilliant – Em's crush on Remus had been completely insane ever since the middle of the first year. At first she'd thought it had just been a cutesy kids crush, but her amorous feelings for the boy hadn't disappeared with two years of other romantic advances upon her.

"Then I'll go with Sev," Lily ended.

"Oh that'll be fun. You can sit in the Hogshead writing depressing poetry together whilst concocting a potion to off yourselves with," James said viciously, but dodged Lily's fist by diving out of his seat and waving to Mary. "Have fun telling Marlene!" Mary grinned brightly at him and waved goodbye. Once he was out of earshot (over at the Ravenclaw table telling a blushing girl a joke about a hawk, a boggart and a bezoar, whilst she tried not to pass out onto him) Mary began her intervention.

"I don't see why you don't go out with him. He's cute and obviously likes you a lot,"

"He does not like me. He is an arrogant toe rag who would immediately refuse me if I ever did say yes. The only reason he is "interested" is because the forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest. Plus he's not my type anyway," Lily explained indignantly.

"How is he not your type? Heck, I'd vouch that he's _Dumbledore's_ type. That boy is _everyone's_ type," Mary rolled her eyes and stole another look at James who was now skipping from the room, much to the Ravenclaw's amusement.

"The other day he used a full body bind on a first year, dumped him into crate bag and left him there until Filch heard his mumbling," Lily said venomously.

"I heard about that! It sounded so funny!" Mary laughed, until the glare threw at her stopped her dead. "So he's a little rough around the edges…"

"I don't' want rough – I want clean. Nice, smart, clean…"

"You _can't_ be talking about Severus," Marley joked, to receive a kick from under the table.

"Severus and I are good friends," Lily said leaving the conversation there. "We should get going to Divination. Pes will have us cleaning teacups for a week if we're late again,"

The afternoon started out as a catastrophe on three levels:  
**1.** Upon entering the stuffy attic room, Professor Pes muttered darkly about bad things to come. This was nothing new, but it wasn't a very nice omen for a Friday afternoon.  
**2.** Lily immediately knocked over a crystal ball (_7 years bad luck_ – a Ravenclaw besotted with the stupid subject gasped at her clumsiness, figuring that the bad things to come was an omen for Lily herself)  
**3.** They were changing topics, and therefore divination partners – and not a choice move.

Then again, it could've been worse, Lily reminded herself, as she found herself seated next to Oliver McEwan. McEwan was a Scottish Ravenclaw, who played as beater on the Quidditch team. She'd never seen him play – of course, but she'd _heard _that he was very good. He was very handsome, at five foot eleven, dirty blonde curls framing his perfectly sculpted face – or at least that's how Mary described him. As he took his seat he sent a smile to her, which made her blush. _Cool it Evans_, she thought to herself. _Female solidarity, remember?_

"Hey Lily," She blushed again.

"Hello Oliver," she said calmly, not letting her racing heart make her look like a fool. "Are you ready for discussing our tea leaves?"

"I love your hair," he said just like that. _That's the Scott's for you – obsessed with the ginge._ "Did you know, that the muggles always thought red hair and green eyes were the signs of a witch?" he noticed her eyes…

"That's really interesting," Lily managed to say somehow. Then something hit her in the head. It was a small ball of parchment. Bending over to pick it up, she uncurled it and read it under the table.

_Clean enough for you? – M_

Lily turned to see Mary sat miserably with Peter Pettigrew, who was staring bug eyed into his mug. Her eyes were set on Lily's. Lily turned back to Oliver with a sweet smile, but gestured a thumbs up behind her back to Mary, who laughed out loud.

"Your leaves have a butterfly typed shape," Oliver told her, flicking through his book to see the connotations of this.

"You have a messy circle and an arrow," Lily told the boy, then searched her own book to find what this could possibly hold for his future. They continued like this for the majority of the lesson, writing their findings in their divination journals, which Professor Pes often came and oohed at mystically. Personally Lily was glad this subject was such a doss, because it meant she needn't actually concentrate on anything other than witty banter.

"My mum made me take this subject," Oliver informed her, "I have little to no respect for this as a qualification, but she thought I might have the gift – apparently my gran did,"

"Well that's quite cool – seers are very rare," Lily smiled.

"I agree – I certainly am not one," he replied, dully though returning her gaze quiet fondly.

"I'm very thankful for that. You have planned my misfortune very severely for the rest of the month," Lily said, noticing a trend in tragedy that was to befall her.

"It _is_ the witching month," Oliver warned with a chuckle. "Halloween and all…"

"Oh yeah," Lily hadn't been thinking about Halloween as much as she had their very first Hogsmeade visit. "I should hope that there aren't any flesh-eating zombies in Hogsmeade, else people will think you really are a seer and you'll be stuck doing divination forever!" Lily joked.

"I really would appreciate it if you could not die," Oliver said. Lily replied that she'd try her best.

"- As long as you don't plan on drowning yourself in the Lake?"

"I think I can safely vow not to do that," Oliver promised. "But I'll need compensation…" he told her seriously now. Lily's heart thrummed, did she want her to pay him not to kill himself?

"I've already promised not to die…" Lily complained, a fearful lump forming in her throat.

"Well, I was thinking that – in case there _are_ flesh eaters hiding in the Three Broomsticks I can maybe… escort you?" he was red in the face now. "Keep you safe?"

"Oh," Lily said, blushing to the tips of her roots. _Was he asking her out?_ "Yeah, that … that'd be nice," she was smiling when she accepted, which made Oliver McEwan grin broadly.

"That's great! Awesome! So Hogsmeade?" Oliver clarified.

"Yeah, Hogsmeade," Lily smiled again.

Back in the common room Lily was relaying the details about how Oliver McEwan ("SO HOT" Marlene screamed) had asked her to Hogsmeade. This made dates for both her, Marlene and Mary. Donna had demanded to know who _she_ would be spending the day with, but James had (unfortunately) been lying about Remus' decision to ask Em to accompany him, at least so far.

"Oh great, so you three have dates and I have Donna?" Emmeline moaned – Donna threw one of the cushions at her head. It made contact and she lobbed it back.

"I'm sure I won't be with Oliver the whole time…" Lily said naively.

"Yes you will be Evans – and you'll have some very smart and beautiful conversations… with your lips… when you're kissing…" Mary said 'subtly'. Lily was alarmed.

"Kissing?" she cried out.

"Who're you kissing Evans?" James said as he walked into the common room next to Remus. The latter kept his eyes averted from the girls, but James was intrigued.

"Oliver McEwan," Marlene answered for her with a giggle. "He asked her to Hogsmeade,"

"I asked her to Hogsmeade, and if I remember rightly you were going with friends," James cried out indignantly.

"I was just being nice – and in any case, Oliver was actually serious when he asked me, he wasn't being a git," Lily kept the air of coolness, making James want to shake her. Did she really believe he wasn't serious in this whole affair?

"Who says I was being a git?" James bellowed, anger rising.

"Me – just get over it Potter, I've said yes to Oliver and I'm sure we'll have a lovely time, even if he does kiss me!" Lily shouted back at him.

"You are such a hypocrite Evans!" he shouted at her, then stormed off up the stairwell, slamming the door to his dorm loudly.

"Sorry about him," Remus said to his feet and shuffled off after James.

When Remus slowly let himself through a tiny crack in the door, James was throwing a quaffle at the wall – there was a small dent where he'd practiced this routine before. Lily would upset him, James would storm off, and the wall paid the price. Poor wall. Lupin removed his shoes and lined them neatly at the foot of his bed.

"Do you want me to get Sirius?" he asked after a while. Whereas Remus could calm James down for a good day or so, Sirius could wear his anger out with the mad schemes they planned together. It probably wasn't the healthiest option, but it was the most effective.

"No, he'd just tell me to get over her and ask Parkinson out," James mumbled bitterly.

"Well why don't you?" Remus questioned. The other boy scoffed and continued throwing the quaffle against the wall.

"Why don't you ask Emmeline out?" he asked finally. _How'd you like them crumpets, Remus?_ – James thought to himself.

"It's not the same thing James – I know you're mad but don't be cruel," Remus asserted, lying back on his own bed to keep well out of the way of his quaffle anger.

"Why isn't the same thing? 30.5 days every month you're a fully functioning human being, and you like the girl. What's so hard about that Remus?" James rationalised.

"I can't put that strain on anyone else!" Remus sighed. "You know that,"

"Sirius, Peter and I are fine with it – she likes you! You're upsetting her more by not asking her," James said pointedly, dropping the quaffle and turning to his friend.

"Not in the long run," Remus said miserably. The thought of all the things he could do to hurt Emmeline sickened him.

"Loosen up for a bit Mooney! Just take the girl to Hogsmeade!" James shouted. "I'm not asking you to marry her," Remus considered him. It would only be one date – and that would be assuming she'd accept his invitation. Of course, there was a chance that he could shut James' stupidity with Lily up with this leverage.

"On one condition," Remus bartered.

"Hm?" James grunted.

"Ask someone other than Lily. Ask Charlotte," Lupin said. James thought about it for a second – he didn't really _want_ to go to Hogsmeade with Charlotte Parkinson. They were almost (very distantly) related through marriage. It'd be weird, and not to mention the fact that other than being undeniably gorgeous she was somewhat brain dead – a quality James despised in a girl. He nodded slowly in any case, anything to get his friend to finally be a man. Remus smiled sadly.

"Well, I will be right back then," Remus said, straightening his robes, checking his pallid reflection in the mirror and leaving through the door. James moves the quaffle into his trunk and dropped his face into his hands, releasing a long breath. With a quick ruffle of his hair, he followed Remus out of the room.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he saw Remus taking a smiling Emmeline into the corner of the room, and with hushed voices mumbling some nonsense about Halloween. Emmeline of course was pretty – she had a perfectly fair face, long brown hair and a humour to go with the looks. It was no wonder that Remus felt so strongly for her – possibly the way he, James, felt for the redhead who sat around the girl informing Alice Griffiths on the many gorgeous faces of Oliver McEwan. James wouldn't hate him so much if he wasn't such a pillock. With one last look at Remus, James saw him mumbling into his own robes.

"Oi, Em!" James shouted, and her head bolted up to where James stood. "Go to Hogsmeade with Remus," the girl looked at the other boy, who looked sick. She was smiling, but barley.

"Remus, I'm sorry, but I already told Donna I'd go with her – maybe next time?" she said kindly. James felt sick with himself as Remus nodded politely, and walked over to him.

"I hate you," he sighed, and both of the boys left through the portrait hole.

"Emmeline Vance, tell me you did not just reject Remus Lupin!" Mary Macdonald warned angrily. Lily didn't envy her position – Mary had the temperament of a lion.

"I didn't – I rejected James Potter asking me out on behalf of Remus Lupin," Emmeline corrected.

"Why did you do that?" Mary squealed, unable to see or understand the subtle difference.

"Well, my excuse was entirely valid – who would Donna go with? Secondly, I'm taking a leaf out of Lily's book – studies before boys. Feminine Solidarity, eh Lil?" Emmeline recalled proudly.

"Lily has a date!" Mary pointed out.

"With a book worm Ravenclaw," Emmeline said. "They'll probably just study the entire time anyway,"

"A sexy book worm Ravenclaw," Marlene corrected.

"Guys, cool it. I didn't want to go just because James made Remus ask me. I'm fine with going with Donna – we're going to go to Madam Pudifoot's!"

"Thrilling stuff," Donna said darkly. Indeed, the entire of sassy and sarcastic Donna sat in the little café made Emmeline laugh.

"Lily…" Marlene said, turning to her friend who was reading a letter from home. "How're you going to tell Severus?" she hadn't thought of that.

"I'll just tell him the truth – he probably has plans himself anyway," Lily lied.

"Oh yes," Mary laughed, "I bet him and Bellatrix Black are going to get sloshed in the three broomsticks, and then make merry in the Shrieking Shack!"

"Don't be cruel," Lily reprimanded. "I meant with his Slytherin friends – we'll go next time together," Lily said calmly. Everyone else scoffed, but said nothing. As it was, Lily was actually dreading telling Severus about her date with Oliver – he'd tell her she was just being silly. He might think she had become one of the girls they both laughed at.

Later that night Lily was lying in bed, trying to read a thick potions book with _Lumos_ when the door opened with a bright light behind it. Despite the late hour, the sixth and final dorm member didn't bother trying to be quite, but instead pulled the door closed loudly, and noisily walked over to her own bed.

"Guess what, Muggle," the cold voice of Charlotte Parkinson dared. Lily assumed (what with the lovely pet name, and the fact that she was the only person obviously awake in the room) that it was her who was to guess whatever it was that made Charlotte Parkinson come to bed so late. Lily said nothing. "James Potter asked me out," she said smugly.

"Oh goodie," Lily said, completely un-phased by this turn of events – after all, she was going to Hogsmeade with Oliver McEwan. Lily wondered why the two hadn't gotten together sooner – they were both utterly annoying and total pests in her life. Of course they were for totally different reasons – James liked Lily a little too much, and Charlotte not enough to be civil. Hopefully they'd push each other too far into the Shrieking Shack and get torn apart by ghouls. Lily rejoiced at the mental image.

"Aren't you jealous?" Charlotte continued with a goading tone.

"Not even in the slightest," Lily admitted, trying to find her place in the book. She'd lost it whilst imagining the ghoul death.

"I bet you were hoping that he'd ask you, so you won't be so alone," the girl remarked harshly. Lily merely laughed.

"Funny, had that been the case I'd have accepted his offer this afternoon at lunch," Lily hummed. "And don't worry about me being lonely, Charlotte – I'm going with someone,"

"Your gothic Slytherin friend doesn't count as a date," Charlotte retorted quickly. "And I'm sure James didn't ask you out,"

"Sure are you? Want me to wake up Mary and ask her whether it happened? And, for your information – even though it's none of your business – I am going to Oliver McEwan, not Severus,"

"You're lying – conniving bitch. You just don't want me to be happy," snarled the other girl.

"Oh yes, that must be why I come into the dorm so late at night trying to taunt you with who has asked me to Hogsmeade. Grow up," Charlotte took a sharp intake of breath.

"You'll see – one day you're going to want him to ask you out, but he won't, because he'll be going with me," Charlotte spat.

"I honestly wish you all the happiness in the world, Charlotte," but for some reason this didn't sit too well with Charlotte Parkinson.

"You think he likes you so much, because you think you're better than everyone else. Well, think again – James is a pure blood, and a pureblood wouldn't mess around with a filthy mud blooded muggle like you!"

Evening in the boy's dorm was somewhat more awake and less vicious. After Charlotte had left, strutting her hips up to her own dorm, the three marauders had congratulated James on his new love interest. Peter was patting him on the back, but James couldn't find it inside himself to be happy.

"C'mon Potter, cheer up – you have a date with one of the hottest girls in the year," he pointed out. "I mean… some of us don't even have dates,"

"Do you know that she's mean to Lily?" he asked Sirius, totally blanking Peter.

"Lily's mean to you – why do you care?" Sirius retorted.

_"Lily isn't mean to me about my blood status,"_ James thought glumly, but said nothing, deciding that it wasn't his battle.

"I can't believe Em reject Remus!" Peter exclaimed.

"Tell me about it – she's liked him for years!" James sighed.

"That's like Potter rejecting Evans," added Sirius humorously. James wanted to whack him.

"Except Emmeline probably hasn't planned the wedding," Remus chuckled. Another one for the hit list, James thought darkly.

"Guys! I didn't plan the wedding, I was just thinking about how nice she'd look with a sunflower in her hair at our wedding – it's hardly…" James stuttered.

"Picking out the flower pallet?"

"Shut it, Black," James said, finally giving into the urge and whacking his friend around the head.

When the leaves started to fall from the trees, the entire third year began getting more excited for the upcoming trip – that was everyone except James Potter and Severus Snape. The two were at each other's throats more than ever, as Lily was scarcely around to break up their fighting. The girl herself was either with Oliver McEwan, studying in the library, or with her dorm mates. It had been a week since Lily had even looked at James, never mind shouted at him when he accosted her in the corridor on the way to Defence against the Dark Arts.

"Off to see your boyfriend?" he teased, his voice not completely void of venom.

"Actually, I'm avoiding your girlfriend," Lily said, her eyes avoiding James.

"Oh god, is that what she's telling everyone? I only asked her to Hogsmeade!" James mumbled, suddenly worried.

"Well she seems pretty proud of herself for bagging the perfect pure-blooded prince," Lily spat, and pushed past James' outstretched arm.

"LILY!" two voices called at once. The first stood behind her, and reached out to continue their previous conversation, the second was stood in front of her in the form of Oliver McEwan. He towered over her, even when he walked off the stair case and stood beside her. He grabbed her hand.

"Potter," the boy said. James' jaw was taut but he managed to nod at Oliver. "What're you up to?"

"I was just heading to Defence," James said defensively. The grandeur of his normal presence was gone, and had been replaced with a macho filled anger.

"This early?" Oliver questioned, not helping James' temper.

"I was hoping to get some extra reading in," Lily lied quickly. "James was simply wondering why I left lunch so early,"

"It has barley just started," the Ravenclaw pointed out, his eyes never wavering from James.

"I'm not hungry," she continued.

"Then I'll come with you?" Oliver said sweetly, his hand making its way into hers. She flinched.

"No," Lily and James said in unison. Their eyes met and Lily glared over at him, he merely raised an eyebrow as a challenge to her romantic feelings for Oliver.

"I really want to get this reading done," Lily said sincerely.

"And she has to teach me about werewolves," James lied.

"We haven't even covered that yet," Oliver recalled suspiciously.

"I want to get ahead – I never know the answers to anything in class," James replied, attempting to sound sincere. Lily scoffed.

"I wasn't sure you cared about anything other than making paper planes fly across the classroom into my head?" Oliver asked.

"Sorry – bad aim," James said supressing laughter.

"I'm sure," Oliver replied. "I'll see you in the courtyard tomorrow at 11?" he said, turning to Lily. She forced a smile and looked away from the Gryffindor.

"Yeah, sure – see you there," Lily said, waving Oliver goodbye as he walked into the Great Hall. "Go away," she said immediately to James.

"Is she really telling people she's my girlfriend," he demanded seriously.

"Yes – because you asked her out," Lily sighed, wishing he would understand.

"I ask you out and that doesn't make you my girlfriend, does it?" he asked hopefully.

"No, because unlike me, she said yes," the redhead pointed out, starting to walk up a stair well. James followed like a well-trained puppy.

"You _want_ to say yes," James informed her, which only made her laugh out loud.

"I really don't," assured Lily with a chuckle.

"Why not?" he questioned, running to catch up with her fast walking. Stopping and staring at him she tried to wonder if he was actually serious.

"You're a jerk – now go away," she implored.

"No,"

"What do you want, Potter?" she hissed, wishing that he would just leave her be.

"World peace - a million galleons - a hot fudge sundae - one of those human sized plastic hamster balls,"

"A smack in the face?" James laughed out loud.

"Why are you really not at lunch?" he questioned – her face turned from an almost-smile to a definite frown.

"I already told you – Charlotte Parkinson," she repeated her earlier excuse, this time using the name, whereas before she had said girlfriend. His vehemence against the term seemed to be keeping him interested in this conversation, and she wanted to end it.

"She's not my girlfriend," he swore.

"It's not me you have to convince, Potter," Lily informed him in a small voice. James wished that it _was_ her he'd have to convince – he wished she would care.

"Why're you going out with McEwan?" he demanded, changing the tone of the conversation.

"Because he's kind," she said.

"And I'm not kind?"

"You can be, but you can also be so cruel that it makes me fear for the future of the wizarding race," Lily sighed, gripping her books to her chest.

"What about Severus? Do you think he's kind?" questioned James.

"Yes, I do," she replied pointedly.

"Then why don't you go out with him?" James spat, annoyed that she could be so delusional. James might play jokes on people, but he would never consider himself below Severus Snape.

"Because there's no romantic feeling between us, Potter," she sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Does _he_ know that?" James reckoned that the answer was much less clear than her reply/

"Of course… now go away I want to get this reading done,"

"Other people mean literally nothing to you, don't they Evans?" he snapped, finally annoyed at her superiority.

"What is it with you and conflict? Why do you always feel the need to attack me? Can't you just accept the fact that I think you're a moron and move on? That fact isn't going to change, stop trying!" Lily exclaimed angrily, and stormed off. James sighed and pushed down the feeling that maybe she was right. Of course, there was the fact that she completely insulted him at every turning, and that she thought that he was an idiot. James Potter was many things but idiot was not one of them.

That lesson, and Lily was well aware, they were starting their work on werewolves and animagi. Lily sat beside Emmeline at the front of the class, as far away as possible from James Potter who was staring daggers into the back of her head. Their professor for the year (as no one was under any illusions he'd last any longer than that – no one else had) was Professor Darville. Darville was a bi-lingual wizard who had taught at Beauxbattons for twenty years, before moving to England, just before the war broke out. This was the first of many bad decisions that Darville would make in his later life – the second of which was asking the following question:

"Could anyone tell me the difference between a werewolf and an animagus?" four hands shot up – Lily Evans (who knew the answer to every question that had ever been asked in that classroom), Remus Lupin (whose knowledge spectrum was very close to the latters) and more surprisingly James Potter and Sirius Black. "Mr. Black?"

"A werewolf is bitten and cursed with having to turn into a wolf at the full moon monthly – an animagus is a wizard who decides to undergo the transformation, and can do so willingly whenever they please," he recited perfectly. Lily was shocked.

"Very well done, Sirius. Now can anyone tell me the signs of recognizing a werewolf?" The same hands shot up again. At the back of the class, Remus saw Lily's hand confidently in the air and wondered if she really did know the answer – if she did it could be disastrous. "Potter?"

"Well, if you were going off for a midnight stroll to the leaky cauldron, and some giant hairy wolf came up to you wearing a top hat you could assume – wow, the owner of this dog really has some problems, or – wow I should run for my life because there is a werewolf in front of me…" the room erupted into laughter, Lily Evans and Remus Lupin were not amongst the chucklers.

"Miss. Evans, a serious answer, please?" the professor implored, turning his attentions to the front of the classroom.

"A day before and after the full moon a werewolf may fall down with sickness, appear pale and worn down. They may even have wounds from their time as a wolf, where they have attacked another animal, or even themselves," Lily said.

"Correct – Now if could all please turn to page 394 and copy down the problems with becoming an animagi," Darville said, sitting himself behind his desk and pulling a quill from a drawer. As the class groaned and followed his instruction, he started to write a letter on a spare piece of parchment.

At the back of the class room James and Sirius disregarded their professor's instructions and placed a muffilo charm around their desk. Remus was getting on with his work, but Sirius seemed to be immersed in the possibilities that lay before James and himself. The werewolf shot a serious look to his friends before returning to his note making.

"Why haven't we thought of this before?" Sirius hissed, twirling his quill around in his fingers – an art practised after many, many torturous history of magic lessons.

"Do you think Remus understands what we're thinking?" his friend questioned, staring over at the boy.

"He looks a bit awkward doesn't he?" Sirius noted, also taking a look at Remus. Before either of them could look away the werewolf turned to stare at them, staring at his, before going red and shooting them a questioning look.

"Do you think it would be hard?" James asked, flicking through to page 394, to see the so called problems.

"It'd be illegal," Sirius laughed.

"Only if we didn't register," pointed out James, reading from the page.

"Which we wouldn't," the boy retorted.

"Obviously," chuckled James. "It's a hard transfiguration though, very hard,"

"James, you're the best at transfiguration in the year," Sirius informed his friend.

"I didn't mean it'd be a problem for us – what about Peter?" Sirius groaned. He hadn't thought about Peter. The boy wasn't completely useless, but his strengths lay in other places – deception over Filch seemed to be his greatest asset. Transfiguration was a subject he understood about as much as muggle technology.

"We could help him – it can't be too hard," suggested the boy.

"Not as hard as the map," James agreed. "Shall we research it?"

"I can't believe we didn't think of it before!" repeated Sirius as he turned back to his books to pretend to be working.

Their conversation continued, and only took breaks when Darville looked up to check the class was working productively. At the end of the lesson, James and Sirius pulled their other two friends to the side of the corridor and explained their mind set. Peter clapped excitedly, exclaiming that it was a brilliant idea, but Remus gave them a classic Lupin look.

"It's a very hard procedure, not to mention illegal," he said seriously. "If anything went wrong… If you were caught…"

"We wouldn't be caught," James said quickly, though he couldn't know for sure.

"We might as well try it," Sirius said, imploring to their werewolf friend. "It's the best lead we've had for a year, Mooney!"

"Fine, just don't come crying to me when you're locked up in Azkaban," sighed the taller boy, wishing that for once he had a pair of sane friends who didn't insist on chasing after him around the full moon.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Lupin dear," Sirius said, patting his friend on the back. "C'mon – you're looking peaky, Chicken for dinner!"

"How is it that you know the menu every evening, without fail?"

"I befriended the house elves…" was all he gave for explanation.

Halloween started off as any other day would, with Lily waking early. However today she wasn't the only one awake at such a time that they were able to see the sun rising. The dormitory was complete chaos. Charlotte had stolen the bathroom and was treating herself to a luxuriously long shower, and access to the best mirror in the room. This left Emmeline rummaging through her closet pulling out items of clothing at random, holding them against her body to see how it might look at throwing them onto the giant heap that lay on her bed. Marlene was doing a similar routine, but she was already dressed and her crisis was shoes – this was much more dangerous than Em's throwing, as shoes are hard and some of them have a painful heel.

Mary was sat cross legged on her bed with her wand pointed at her hair. When she spotted that Lily was awake she called her over.

"Evans, I need your hair curling expertise," she demanded, as Lily pulled out her own wand and started carefully forming the girls beautiful chocolate-brown hair into loose curls. Lily rarely had the chance to use the charm, as she never needed to do it to her own hair. It took half an hour to do Mary's hair curly, and then Marlene wanted her own to be dead-straight, so Lily spent another ten on the other girl's. By the time all of her friends were ready Lily was still wearing her over-sized pyjamas, with her hair in a messy ponytail.

"Evans, why aren't you ready?" Emmeline said angrily, as Charlotte strutted out of the bathroom. She looked amazing – obviously. She had her hair in a side plait that was thick and reached the bottom of her rib cage. She wore a short red skirt (similar to one Lily wore occasionally), and a black blouse, with high heels. She obviously didn't seem to realise that it was late October and that she was going to freeze – or maybe she did and figured that James Potter would be worth it.

"I have another hour to get ready," Lily complained.

"And eat breakfast and get down to the courtyard! C'mon, mission make Lily look less like a homeless person!" Marlene announced, pouncing over the bed to where Lily sat.

"Good luck with that," Charlotte said meanly from across the room. It was a fair scoff, Lily thought – the other girl looked wonderful, and she herself looked (rightly so) as though she'd just got out of bed.

"Emmeline you pick out the outfit, Mary wake Donna up and then work on Lily's hair, and I will do the make-up," Marlene ordered. The three girls got to work. Mary jumped on Donna's bed shaking her awake shouting "EARTHQUAKE", Em went over to Lily's drawers and started throwing things out at random, before closing them all and going to her own pile of clothes, whilst Marlene carefully removed her beauty products from her bag and applied them to her face.

It took twenty minutes in total – her hair was down, keeping its natural waviness, but with some sleek-hair potion to calm the curls. Her face was lined with colours that brought out the green in her eyes and the red blush on her cheek, and she wore Marlene's white shirt under her own green dress, and thick white tights, with Mary's black pumps.

"Wow" Emmeline said when they finished their work.

"You look lovely, Lil," Donna said as she pulled on a red sweater and a pair of jeans.

"By the sound of the lot of you, you'd think I don't look nice every day!" Lily joked. The girls all went down to the Great Hall, where the majority of the school were dressed up for the day's activities. Lily saw Oliver McEwan over at the Ravenclaw table, wearing a brown blazer. She blushed.

At 10:50 the group all took their last swig of pumpkin juice, grabbed their bags and headed to the courtyard, where Filch and McGonagall had a long list of student's names, that were ticked off as each one left the school grounds. Mary spotted her own date, Ulysses Blaise (the newly accepted Ravenclaw seeker, who was amongst the top 10 best looking guys in the year list that Mary kept), waved goodbye to her friends and went to go meet him. His eyes looked foggy when they saw her, because she was a sight for sore eyes, with her hair and her big sincere eyes. Sirius Black accompanied a glum looking James Potter to the courtyard, and upon arriving both boys nudged each other with a grin towards the other's date. James saw Charlotte and looked confused - she looked freezing. He muttered something to Sirius, who barked with laughter and bounded towards Marlene. She smiled at him.

"Alright Marley?" he asked.

"Yeah thanks, you?" Marlene replied. He put his arm around her shoulders, winked at Lily and led his date off into the ether of students queuing to get out of the courtyard. Lily was amused to see James Potter standing a metre away from Charlotte Parkinson, who appeared to be edging towards him unsuccessfully.

Emmeline and Donna promised to stay with Lily until Oliver arrived, even though he was two minutes late. Lily tried to act cool, but she had butterflies in her stomach. She and Oliver had been spending a lot of time together recently, and she enjoyed his company. She wasn't as excited as both Marlene and Mary had been for their dates, but she was looking forwards to it a lot – even if was just to see Hogsmeade.

Lily saw Severus walk past and tried to shoot him a smile, but he either didn't spot her or was intently ignoring her gaze. He was with two other Slytherins, who Lily knew to be Emmanuel Avery, and Bertram Mulciber – they certainly spotted Lily, and returned the smile she had meant for Severus with a grimace. Lily was aware that the pair was the type to join _the other side._ She detested the fact that Severus hung around with them.

Feeling a nudge from Emmeline, Lily jumped and her eyes tore around the courtyard, only to fall on the stairs. She was about to shout at her friend, when she noticed Oliver stood in front of her – his brown blazer (with elbow pads) and paisley shirt made him stand out quite a lot. He still looked rather handsome. Lily smiled and greeted him as he took her hand and bid farewell to Donna and Emmeline. The awkwardness following their encounter with James Potter yesterday lay either forgotten or unspoken.

They shared a carriage with Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew down to the village, though initially no one spoke. Lily smiled politely at the other two whilst making near silent small talk with Oliver but it died almost immediately. Outside it was darkening, and the clouds above threatened to rain and Lily found herself wishing she'd remembered her umbrella.

"So where do you want to go first?" Oliver asked, making Peter jump.

"Oh," Lily said, "I've heard Zonkos is good?"

"Oh it is," Oliver agreed, "but it's on the other side of town – we should go to Honeydukes first," he told her.

"Alright then," she agreed dully. "Have you been here a lot?"

"I live her – my family live on the west of the village," Oliver informed her. She feigned interest.

"Well then, I don't suppose today will be very interesting for you," Lily laughed.

"On the contrary – I've never had such royal company," Remus mimed vomiting to Peter who laughed. Having seen it in the corner of her eye, Lily attempted to supress a smile of her own.

Down in Hogsmeade James' date was going completely differently. Charlotte had been attempting to stroke his face for five minutes, but he kept falling away from her. There was nothing wrong with the girl per say, it was just that James didn't really like her very much.

"So do you want to go to Zonkos?" Charlotte flirted sweetly.

"Not really," James huffed, bored. They were sat on a wall, next to where people were disembarking carriages. Every time one stopped, James would look up, be disappointed and continue to stare at his feet.

"Why not? I thought you'd love Zonkos," the girl continued, her voice in a higher tone than he had ever known it.

"I _do_ love Zonkos, but I don't want to go there without Remus and Peter," explained the boy. Her face fell.

"But we're on a date!" Charlotte screamed moodily.

"I asked you to go to Hogsmeade with me – we're in Hogsmeade now, therefore my end of the bargain is done," James informed her, bored.

"I thought…" she stuttered, her bottom lip shaking.

"You thought wrong. Look, Charlotte, you look nice and everything, but you're not exactly my type, and I only asked you out because Remus told me to stop asking out Lily, and if I did he would ask out Emmeline, but she ended up saying no anyway, so there's no point being here," James explained. Charlotte looked like she'd been slapped in the face.

"Lily Evans?" she exclaimed angrily. "She doesn't even like you,"

"Sure she does," James smirked.

"Don't be so oblivious James," she spat.

"Oh! So that's the word! I always considered myself more of an absent minded badass," James chuckled, stealing a look at another carriage that had pulled up. No luck – just Alice Griffiths, her small and slightly pretty friend Mona, and a pair of nervous looking blokes.

"James, you're never going to get Lily Evans, no matter how hard you try," she said cruelly. James merely continued to smile.

"That's fine – Sirius and I have planned our bachelorhood – we're going to adopt a child together to attract the witches. He'll be called Vincent," James laughed, by unfortunately Charlotte didn't find the humour in the situation. She slapped him sharply across the cheek in the second that Remus' carriage pulled up. As she stormed off, strutting her hips, Lily Evans, Oliver McEwan, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew stood laughing at the events they had just seen unfold.

"I guess you told her she wasn't your girlfriend, then?" Lily laughed.

"I might've also told her that Sirius and I are going to attract women by adopting a small boy named Vincent…" James mused, rubbing the side of his face. Lily laughed out loud.

"You're so good with women, Potter," Remus said with a hearty chuckle.

"At least I can get them to agree to go out with me," James replied sourly.

"Eventually," said Lily. Oliver laughed now, and with a firm grip on her arm, led the red head away from the three boys – two of whom were laughing so hard they were gripping their stomachs.

Oliver walked Lily to Honkeydukes, where she purchased some fudge and another assortment of magical sweeties, and he refilled his collection of Every Flavoured Beans. Then he marched her to the post office for a five minute look at the owls; then he took her to Gladrags, where she purchased a pair of gloves that would heat your hands if you say "Thermo". He then insisted that they spend three quarters of an hour in Spintwitches, a sporting shop, where he deliberated if he should get some new gloves for Quidditch. He didn't, and they left quickly. By this point Lily was getting hungry and suggested that they go to the Three Broomsticks for lunch. Oliver nodded and asked if they could go into one more shop beforehand. She unwillingly agreed, following him into the music shop, where they bumped into James Potter who was leaving, holding a bag. She shot him a confused look, but didn't say anything (despite the fact that she was severely bored with this "date" and could have done with some mildly interesting conversation). Oliver spent another half hour in Domonic Maestro's, to the extent where Lily's stomach was growling and he hadn't acknowledged her presence since they entered the shop. He'd been discussing the Four Witches with the clerk – apparently they'd lost a band member and were going to change the name to the Three Witches. Finally he purchased a vinyl and they left the shop with a ringing of the bell.

"So, are you getting hungry?" he asked, even though she'd told him that half an hour ago and her stomach was growling.

"I could eat," Lily replied politely, wishing nothing more than the end of this "date".

"Three broomsticks it is then," Oliver said, and forcefully took her hand.

Inside the pub was packed – there were no tables free of Hogwarts students. Luckily, Lily spotted Emmeline and Donna sitting with the Marauders, so she pushed through the crowd, hoping the Oliver wouldn't follow her. Much to her dismay he did, taking a seat from a nearby table to perch next to the booth Lily had slid into. Emmeline raised an eyebrow at Lily who rolled her eyes as to say "I'll tell you later".

"Butterbeer?" Oliver asked; Lily nodded. "I'll go up, there's no point in us both drowning in the crowd princess," Lily smiled, but felt that the faux-retching coming from the Marauders was a more appropriate response.

"Having fun?" Donna said, laughing. "You look bored out of your mind,"

"This is the less fun than the day Petunia introduced me to her boyfriend Gary in the summer," Lily complained quietly. She removed her new gloves and pushed her hair out of her face. "Save me?"

"Merlin, no!" Emmeline exclaimed. "We agreed that by 7th year we'd have conquered the top ten list!"

"The top ten list?" James questioned, leaning in to be heard from across the table.

"Top ten attractive guys in our year – between us we have to have kissed all of them," Emmeline chuckled.

"Am I on the top ten list?" James asked with a wink.

"No," Lily said too quickly. In truth, James _was_ on the list, but she had objected until Mary pointed out that it's about looks, not _apparently_ jerkish personalities. In all honesty the list went as followed:

**Emmeline Vance, Mary MacDonald, Marlene Tolkien, Lily Evans and Donna Shacklebolt  
hereby proclaim the following males to be the 10 most suitable  
baby making buddies in order. The previously stated initiators gain complete right to  
change the list by removing or adding attractive males:**

**10. **_Remus Lupin – Status: Unconquered – Mission: Emmeline  
_**9.** _Jebediah Fulton – Status: Unconquered – Mission: Donna  
_**8.** _Oliver McEwan – Status: Unconquered – Mission: Lily  
_**7**_**.**__ Lestat Rosier – Status: Unconquered – Mission: Open_  
**6. **_Robert Zion – Status: Conquered – Congratulations: Emmeline__**  
**_**5. **_Peeta Wood – Status: Conquered – Congratulations: Marlene_  
**4.** _Ulysses Blaise – Status: Conquered – Congratulations: Mary  
_**3.** _Sirius Black – Status: Unconquered – Mission: Marlene_  
**2.** _Adam McKinnon – Status: Unconquered – Mission Open_  
**1.** _James Potter – Status: Unconquered – Mission: Open_

However, apparently Lily's objections to Potter knowing about his status on the list were not heard, as Emmeline began to relay the list to him. Lily looked over, and luckily Oliver wasn't even being served yet, so she had time to shut them all up.

"Fulton? You think Fulton is better than Remus?" Sirius objected loudly. "Fulton's nose is off centre!" Em continued, ignoring his shouts.

"You can't have Rosier on the list," James said, his eyes dark and serious. "Take him off. None of you are to go on a date with Lestat Rosier – he's a horrible and dangerous person,"

"James…"

"No, don't go near him – he's worse than Evan," everyone knew that Evan Rosier had been a 6th year when they'd started Hogwarts, but had been thrown out for using dark magic on another student. Lily made a mental note to have a revote later on.

"Peeta Wood? Really Marlene! When did this happen?" Sirius said with humour to his date.

"Last summer," Emmeline admitted on behalf of the absent girl.

"I feel so cheated…" James joked. "I must tell Sirius at once,"

Emmeline got to number three when Remus stood up enraged. "THIRD? WHO THE BLOODY HELL IS FIRST AND SECOND?"

"You really don't want to know Lupin…" Lily started, but Emmeline found a perverse humour in the situation.

"Who do you think, Remus?" Emmeline dared.

"Well, Potter, obviously – look at that face – it's pure sunshine," Remus said with a growl. "And… well knowing you lot, probably Severus Snape!" he spat. The girls all burst into laughter, which caused heads to turn. Even James thought it was funny. Peter looked a bit hurt that he obviously wasn't on the list, but chuckled none the less. Remus blushed and turned to stare out of the window – his previous reverie returned.

It was at this point that Oliver came over carrying two pints of warm butterbeer. Lily wanted to head desk but refrained from doing such a thing, as Oliver tried to understand what the conversation was about.

"Well, who? It can't be Peter!" James quizzed.

"What can't be Peter?" Oliver asked, trying to nudge himself into the chatting.

"Evans and Vance are telling us how attractive they rate the boys in our year at Hogwarts,"

"Oh?" Oliver said, a blush reaching his cheeks, "And where am I?" he 'joked'.

"8th," James said harshly. "We're trying to decipher who the ladies deem more attractive than Sirius Black, who sits at 3rd,"

"Well, who've you said already?" Oliver said, looking a bit sad, but nevertheless interesting in guessing along.

"Lupin, Fulton, McEwan, Rosier-"

"_Not_ Rosier," James growled, genuinely angry.

"Zion, Wood, Blaise and Black," Emmeline finished.

"Well, that's obvious," Oliver smiled cheerfully.

"Really?" Remus and James questioned in unison.

"Potter and Adam McKinnon," he said pointedly.

"In that order?" James asked raising an eyebrow at the Ravenclaw.

"Obviously," Oliver said with his eyes fixed meanly on James.

"Wrong!" Donna declared. "McKinnon 2nd – Unconquered, totally open – Potter 1st – Also unconquered and open to whoever wants him!"

"Nobody took me on as their mission?" James demanded with his face dauntingly hurt.

"Oh, we had too many takers," Emmeline laughed, "We couldn't decide, so we figured whoever got there first,"

"Well, can I pick?" James grinned, seeing an opportunity.

"Not really," Emmeline said regretfully.

"Sure I can – see, if I refuse to allow the rest of you to kiss me, your need to complete the list will force the rest of you to pressure Miss Evans into bestowing a smooch upon me," Lily burst into a deep shade of red – Oliver glared at James and his grip on his glass tightened – Donna and Emmeline considered him.

"He's damn good," Emmeline laughed.

"Wait, you have to kiss the entire list?" Oliver quizzed.

"Between us, yes – Lily's been sent to conquer you," Em joked – Lily felt herself going even more red. She had _not_ agreed to this.

"Oh, well that's okay then – who else are you to conquer?" he asked of Lily, looking down into her eyes.

"Me," James piped up. Oliver seemed to be getting angrier and angrier with the flow of the conversation, and James was completely and happily aware of this.

"No!" Lily objected but Donna interrupted.

"Sorry Evans, the boy has spoken – it's going on the list," she said with a grin.

"I hate you all," Lily moaned glumly. It took another half an hour to order food, (chips) so by the time they'd eaten it was almost time to head back to the castle. The group decided (much to Lily's thanking eyes) to take a trip up to the Shrieking Shack and Zonkos on the way back. Lily told Oliver that they should definitely join them, as they were going to do the same thing anyway. He agreed, though barely. Since the conversation about the list his mood had not improved.

The trek up to the viewing point for the Shrieking Shack was awful. Oliver kept trying to hold her hand, whilst Potter kept trying to do the same thing on the other side "as a joke, McEwan!" Remus led the way, whilst being kept company by Emmeline – they were getting along beautifully, Lily noted. Donna and Peter were discussing Herbology and the former seemed bored out of her mind. If it wasn't for the ego-show going on beside her she'd have run to save her friend. As it was, however, James and Oliver were discussing the House Quidditch teams, and the upcoming Ravenclaw VS Gryffindor match. Lily knew that as a beater, Oliver would most likely be aiming the majority of his bludgers towards Potter, though Potter didn't seem too worried.

"We're going to win," James said simply. "It's simple logic. We have the better all-round team. Yeah, your offence is good, but your defence is awful. That match against Hufflepuff last month was horrifying. You only won because Blaise caught the snitch in good timing!"

"We'll see when it comes to the outcome of the game, Potter," Oliver said with a threatening edge.

When they all reached the top of the hill, Remus called James over to have a private chat with him and Peter. Marlene and Sirius were at the top of the hill, and greeted everyone with a smile before becoming too wrapped up in one another (literally, there's another one ticked off the list) to notice what was going on, and Emmeline thought it a good idea for her and Donna to go closer to the shack, to give Lily and Oliver some alone time. It was awkward for a minute, and then Oliver spoke.

"So I had a dream a couple of nights ago," Oliver said coolly.

"Oh yeah? What did it foretell?" Lily joked. "Anything divination worthy?"

"Well, I looked it up and it said that a pretty girl would take a walk with me," Lily faked a blush, not totally sure where he was going with this. "And that on that walk, the pretty girl would kiss me," he shot her a winning smile, that Lily knew Mary would melt at. Lily however was trying to think of a comeback when he bent down and put his tongue in her mouth. Lily jumped back from the kiss, flailing and trying not to choke. He smiled, and went for it again, this time he didn't jump in tongue first. Lily tried to wiggle away, put his strong arm held her close to him – she felt suffocated.

Then things happened rather quickly. She heard a whistling in the air (which she later found out to be a rock flying towards her head) and Oliver suddenly stopped kissing her. She caught her breath as he yelped and she jumped away from him. James Potter then (wielding a second stone) attacked the boy again.

"What was that for?" Oliver screamed over at James. The boy came walking over to him, and despite the fact that he'd grown taller than Lily over the past year he was still somewhat smaller than the Ravenclaw. This didn't seem to bother him though, as he sized up against the boy.

"Can't you see she doesn't want to kiss you?" he shouted to Oliver. It was mortifying. "She was wiggling to get away from you – that's not exactly a Cokeworth-mating ritual, McEwan,"

Oliver looked at her, then at Potter. Maybe it was the fact that everyone was looking at him, or the fact that Lily wasn't and she hadn't said a word against what Potter had been saying (for it had been the truth), but he stormed off down the path to the village, kicking a tree as he went.

"You okay Evans?" Potter asked. "Want a mint?" he asked again, offering her a small box. She took one gratefully.

"Yeah – thanks," she said, smiling.

"Please tell me that wasn't your first kiss Evans?" he demanded to know. His dropped her head sullenly – his outrage was fair. That had not been how she suspected her first kiss would be. "Oh Merlin! He was like the Giant Squid with _those_ skills. Trust me, some of us aren't so forward and disgusting," James promised her. She laughed, not at all regretful of their awful date, but thankful that he was now gone.

"I don't think I even want to find out," Lily admitted, going a bit red.

"The boy has put her off for life!" James shouted, shaking his fist at the sky dramatically. Emmeline and Donna were laughing.

"I think we should take him off the list," Lily agreed. "Conquered or not,"

"That wasn't a kiss – that was a disaster," Donna nodded.

"Good looks or no good looks, that was the most disturbing thing I've ever seen – and I just saw Black leading Marlene into the forest…" they all tried not to dwell on the thought by retiring to Zonko's. James seemed to be in heaven and Lily could see why – there was an impressive collection of mischief making items. She was surprised the store owner didn't know the marauder by first name. Well that was until…

"James!" the man behind the counter called. James skipped forwards with a grin.

"Zonko!" James said. He turned around and saw Lily laughing, and gestured her forwards. "This is Lily Evans – she's much too sensible to buy anything from here,"

"Well that's disappointing," Mr Zonko said to the girl. "What're you doing with a sensible girl, James? You'll corrupt the poor thing!"

"That was the plan – yes. I was hoping you'd help actually," he laughed.

"What can I do you for?" Zonko asked the boy.

"Do you remember those things Sirius and I came in for last year?" James asked conspicuously. Lily didn't know how James and Sirius could have come down to Hogsmeade last year as they had only been second years. _Perhaps they came in the holidays_? She wondered, realising that she was being completely naive.

"You're in luck Mr Potter - I only have one box left!" Zonko said, running out to his back room, and returning holding a small box labelled: Smoke Bomb. "Drop this, and in a second the entire room (up to a quarter of a mile's coverage) will instantly fill with smoke, allowing you to make a quick exit without awkward conversations," he handed her the box. "Here you go,"

"Oh no…" Lily stuttered, not wanting to take the last box.

"Lily, take them," James said darkly. "They'll be useful,"

"Really?" she questioned, turning to him and wondering what he had planned.

"You've never wanted to disappear from a room without people knowing where you've gone?" James asked. She took the box.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked the man, pulling her purse from her pocket.

"Nothing, nothing – I only charge the already corrupt – come back in a week, buy something else and we'll trade then," Zonko said with a large grin on his face.

She said her thank-you's, James, Remus, Peter and Emmeline purchased an inordinate amount of things from the man (apparently no matter how innocent James looks he's still corrupt and has to pay), and they made their way back to the carriages. They'd make it just in time for dinner, James said.

"Talking about food, where's Sirius?" Peter asked. Everyone laughed out loud.

"Probably in a hedge with Marlene," Emmeline replied. They hailed two empty carriages (which was a feat in itself) and everyone piled into them both. Donna, Peter, Remus and Emmeline got into the first carriage before there was no room left. Lily sighed – of course. James opened the carriage door and allowed Lily to get in first, and he sat opposite her. Because the majority of students had already returned to the castle, there was no one else to sit with them, so they were alone.

"You know what, Evans?" James asked.

"What?" she questioned, not sure what he was going to say.

"I'm glad that our dates went awfully," James said, with a giant grin. Lily returned the smile.

"Well, I think mine could've gone worse," Lily said. James raised an eyebrow in questioning, "I could've gone with you," he kicked her lightly in the foot.

"You say that… and here we are," he pointed out. "Alone - In a carriage together – after spending the afternoon together in Hogsmeade – I think you even held my hand at one point,"

"No- you held my hand, as a joke, remember?" Lily growled, though not _really_ angry.

"I remember," he said with an edge of intensity that Lily blushed at.

"I wonder what Charlotte did with her day," Lily changed the subject.

"Probably plotted your death," James said jokingly.

"What? Why would she do that?" Lily demanded. Now it was James' turn to blush.

"I might… I don't really remember the details… have told her that she wasn't my type, because she wasn't you…" James looked scared. Lily's stomach lurched out of fear, rather than hunger. "I'm sorry,"

"You realise she's going to stab me in my sleep, right? Why on earth would you tell Charlotte Parkinson that?" Lily groaned.

"Because it's true?" Lily's heart actually stopped. She'd always believed that the heart stopped description was completely false – why would your physical body change because someone says something particularly nice? It didn't make any sense to her – but as she sat there she thought she understood it a little bit more.

"She's going to physically maim me. I've never been attacked before," Lily said, her heart rate increasing to a dangerously high number now, rather than stopping.

"Are you having a panic attack?" he asked her with incredulousness and worry.

"Maybe a little bit of one – you know, because I'm going to die tonight!" she screamed at him.

"Lily, even if she does attack you, you are a highly superior witch," he pointed out.

"Highly superior magic can't ward off katana's!" Lily screeched, pulling at her hair.

"I doubt that Lottie keeps a sword under her bed," James chuckled with a soft smile.

"It wouldn't surprise me! You should see the torture weapons she uses on herself in the name of beauty! Imagine what horror she'll inflict on me!" they pulled up to the Hogwarts courtyard, where their friends had obviously grown tired of waiting and gone inside to eat dinner. James helped Lily down from the carriage and sat her down on the fountain wall, where they had sat last Christmas. He patted her back and stroked her hair (which she found very comforting) and whispered "Breathe, Evans, breathe,"

When she was finally calm James stopped the physical contact (which she was sort of thankful for), and escorted her to the dinner table. She carefully avoided looking at the Ravenclaw table, and James (probably aware of her discomfort) sat their backs to the rest of the room, opposite their friends. Dinner was beef (something Sirius was probably gutted he was missing), and everyone was happily chatting about their day and eating. There were pumpkins lining the room, flying above them – bats occasionally swooped down and flew past the students. All in all it was a fantastic feast despite the absence of Mary and Marlene.

Half way through desert, Severus Snape walked over to where Lily sat at the Gryffindor table. He ignored James mostly, but glared at the fact that he was seated next to Lily. He himself took the seat on her other side, pushing a random second year down a bit.

"Good date?" he said sourly.

"Not particularly," Lily said truthfully. "How was your day?"

"Fucking fantastic," Severus said, "I spent the entire day with Emmanuel and Bertrand,"

"Who're they?" Peter asked, interrupting Snape's obvious anger.

"Avery and Mulciber," he snapped. "But at least you got yourself a nice boyfriend" he added spitefully.

"Actually Severus, I did not," she informed him proudly.

"You didn't?" he growled disbelievingly.

"No – Oliver and I are not in a relationship, so you can stop being so sour about me not going to Hogsmeade with you. I have told you four have no heard times already – we are going to go Christmas shopping together next time,"

"I didn't mean Oliver," he whispered now, his eyes hard on James. Lily glared.

"Are _you_ still up for going next time?" she inquired, pretending to have not heard.

"Until you get another date," he said bitterly.

"Snivellus, don't be a git," James interrupted. "If there's any possibility she'll go with you at all it's a miracle – be rational,"

"I am being totally rational, Potter," Severus growled.

"When was the last time you had any form of rational thought?" James dared.

"When was the last time you brushed your hair?"

"When was the last time you _washed_ your hair?"

"At least I don't go around hexing random first years,"

"At least I bathe,"

"Yes, in the tears of young children,"

"At least my skin can bear to touch something so pure," James growled.

"Very funny – you're smarter than you look. Then again, you're still not as smart as smart as you act, Potter," Snape spat.

"Either way Snivellus, I'm smarter than you,"

"Lily, can we go somewhere and talk?" Severus said, turning to Lily.

"No Sev, I'm sorry I'm really not in the mood. It's been a long day and I can't be bothered to be shouted at right now. Maybe tomorrow," she told her friend. He scowled at her, stood up and left the Great Hall in a huff.

"I honestly don't know why you put up with him," Emmeline said, taking another spoonful of her haunted-jelly.

"He's a sod," James agreed.

"He's my friend, James. You of all people should understand the kind of crap you put up with from your best friend,"

"Sirius always tries and talks to me when he's in the bath!" James said glumly out of nowhere. Lily choked on her pumpkin juice.

"What?" she demanded incredulously.

"He gets lonely when he's in the tub, and always tries to coerce me into talking to him when he's in the bath (or vice versa),"

"And do you talk to him?" Lily asked, sincerely amused.

"I mostly just read transfiguration text books at him through the door," James admitted sadly.

"You two have a disturbing relationship," Donna informed him.

"Talking about disturbing…" Emmeline said, her eyes transfixed on a point near the doors of the Great Hall. Lily and James spun around and saw what she meant immediately.

Stood in the doorway was a figure they barely recognized upon first viewing. She was wearing a red skirt and a black blouse, and she had tanned olive skin. What was unrecognizable however was the hair. Where Charlotte Parkinson's hair had been gloriously long and brown, it was now cut short around her ears and dyed a hideous shade of ginger. Lily looked at James, expecting him to have an answer, but he just shrugged. Remus actually snorted with laughter.

The girl skipped (no kidding, there was a spring in her step) towards where the gawping third years sat and stole the seat that Severus had just vacated.

"Hey guys," she said sweetly. "How was Hogsmeade?" Charlotte asked, whilst helping herself to a piece of the treacle pie that Lily herself was enjoying.

"Good, thanks…" Peter said slowly, "did you… do something with your hair?"

"Oh yeah – I went down to the salon in town – I fancied a change. It's so light!" she giggled.

"It's nice," Remus said awkwardly after the lingering silence.

"So, Lil. How did your date go?" Charlotte said to Lily. For a second Lily sat there dumbfounded. This was probably the first time 1. She's called her Lil 2. She'd been nice to her. 3. She'd taken an interest in Lily's life.

"It was great I guess, thanks," Lily said. "Did you have fun?"

"Well, I had a change of plans," she said sweetly. She didn't even glare at anyone. "I met up with a couple of my friends from Ravenclaw, and they suggested the image change,"

"It's quite something," Emmeline said. "Oh, Lily could you pass the custard? Sorry! Charlotte, it's beside you isn't it? Could _you_ pass the custard?" James and the boys scoffed – Lily scowled at her friend.

"Sure thing, Em," things were getting too weird for Lily.

"I think I'm going to get an early night…" Lily said slowly. James stood up immediately.

"Me too," he said.

"Yeah, I'll join you," Charlotte said.

"But you haven't eaten," James pointed out to her barely touched treacle tart.

"I have some stuff in our dorm. We could have a little feast and chat about everyone's dates!" Charlotte suggested excitedly. It was exactly what Marley, Mary, Emmeline, Lily and Donna had already planned this morning anyway – just with the addition of this smiling, friendly, slightly terrifying Charlotte Parkinson.

"Yeah… sure," Lily said politely, giving James a searching look. The three of them made the awkward walk back to the common room in almost complete silence, with James' hand occasionally brushing Lily's, and Charlotte's doing the same to his. Lily didn't understand why Charlotte Parkinson was suddenly being very nice to her and why on earth she looked like she did.

Marlene and Mary arrived in the dorm a few minutes before curfew looking flustered.

"Lily, what've you done to your hair?" Mary exclaimed, noticing Charlotte who was sat with her back to the door on Lily's bed. Emmeline sat beside Lily. They had been discussing Emmeline's day, whilst munching on the fudge Lily had brought from Honeydukes and the chocolate frogs that Charlotte had stashed in her trunk. "Oh my Merlin! Sorry Charlotte – hello…"

"Hey Mare," Charlotte said happily. "Do you like it? I got it done in the Salon in town,"

"It's certainly very different," Marlene said, and then fell onto Lily's bed. "I've had a lovely day, thanks guys,"

"Spill!" Emmeline demanded. They all snuggled together in a circle around the one bed, with the stash of food and wrappers in the middle of them.

"Sirius Black is a good kisser," Marley started. "Not only that, but he is an exceptionally hilarious chap,"

"Where did you guys run off to?" Donna demanded.

"We went into the Hogshead! It was really empty, but Sirius managed to convince the Bar Tender that he was 17 and we got fire-whiskey! It was disgusting, but awesome," she giggled happily.

"Are you drunk?" Lily asked disapprovingly.

"Maybe a bit," Marlene admitted with a goofy smile.

"And anyway, he bought me dinner at Madam Pudifoots, and then we kissed for a bit more. Then we came back up here. It was epic!"

"I can't believe you drank!" Lily exclaimed. "You're 13!"

"I'm 14 in January!" she rolled her eyes.

"Emmeline! Tell her!" Lily moaned, but it was Charlotte who spoke.

"I agree with Lil, Marley. It was really irresponsible of you to do that," everyone looked shocked. The old Charlotte Parkinson would've been the one to initiate the under aged drinking.

"It doesn't matter!" Marlene chuckled.

"So is Sirius your boyfriend?" Donna asked.

"Gosh, labels are so… subjective. I don't like them…"

"_You_ don't like them or _he_ doesn't like them?" Emmeline said seriously.

"We agreed that…"

"It would just be fun?" Charlotte asked. "That's guy talk for 'I can still ask anyone I want to Hogsmeade and you're not allowed to get mad'. I'm sorry, but it's true, Marlene!"

"What do you know? James ditched you before it could even be fun," Marlene said harshly. Tears started uncharacteristically in the other girl's eyes. "You can make yourself look like Lily all you like, but he won't want you,"

"That's a really mean thing to say!" Charlotte sobbed.

"It's true – it was obvious this morning when you were dressing like her and now it's just ridiculous. He can see through it, you know?" Charlotte was actually crying now, floods of tears.

"Marlene, maybe that's enough?" Emmeline suggested, feeling somewhat uncomfortable in front of this sobbing ex-bitch.

"Yeah, I'm going to go find someone who knows how to have fun," Marlene hiccupped and stumbled from the room.

"She's going to end up pregnant by sixth year," Mary laughed, attempting to disperse the tension in the room. Charlotte mopped her tears with the side of Lily's duvet.

"Sorry about that," she said pathetically, her voice strained.

"Now – let's talk about my day!" Mary declared. "So, I went with Ulysses, and we did all the normal Hogsmeade stuff, then we went and met a bunch of his friends, and they're all really cool. So they invited me to the mountains with them. It was really great – we went for a hike. Then we watched the sun set from a cave at the top of the mountain, and he kissed me. Then we came back and I met Marlene and Sirius, and they were both heading to the kitchens, so I joined them and we got something to eat. Then we came back up here and Marlene shouted at Charlotte,"

"Oliver kissed me, I was almost sick and James threw a rock at his head," Lily laughed. Everyone joined in.

"He threw a rock at his head?" Mary questioned.

"Two actually," Emmeline vouched.

"Then he ran off looking sad," Lily finished. "I was having a terrible time anyway,"

"Oh Lil, that's really a shame," Mary sighed. "James is such a cockblock,"

"What on earth?" Emmeline questioned with a burst of laughter. "What's a cockblock?"

"You know, he threw a rock at Oliver's head to stop him from being with Lily – cockblock," Mary explained.

"You need to stop hanging around with Ravenclaws," Lily decided.

That week was superbly weird for Lily. Not only was Divination now the most awkward experience of her life (sat silently writing things opposite Oliver who glared at her) but everywhere she went she was followed by Charlotte Parkinson. She would wake up early in the morning to accompany Lily to breakfast, send her notes in lessons, needlessly go to the bathroom with her, and sit beside her in the library when she was trying to study.

Severus had noticed this new trend in behaviour and (far from realising that it confused Lily as much as every onlooker) he assumed that she welcomed the new posy. Emmeline sent her a note in Defence (the only lesson in which the other girl couldn't sit beside her due to a seating plan) saying:

**Lily, what the hell is up with Parkinson?**

I have no idea, she doesn't leave me alone.

**Just tell her to go away**

That's mean!

**She's mean!**

She's actually been perfectly nice for the past week.

**By suffocating you? You realise why she's doing this, yes?**

Because aside from those nasty Ravenclaws she has no friends?

**No – because (and I hate to admit it) but Marlene was right. Potter dumps her because he likes you – she then becomes you, and tries to be your best friend.**

… well, how do I get rid of her?

**Well, I've been thinking about that.**

Tell me.

**There's really only one solution that will bring out the old Parkinson.**

And that is?

**Conquer number 1.**

…No.

**Why not? Just a kiss, where she can see you. Or a date - with no kiss if you like! She just has to be aware of it.**

But it's mean.

**She deserves it.**

I don't care about her.

**I thought you hated Potter?**

I don't HATE Potter. I spend too much time around him to hate him. I just don't like him and the things he does. Leading him along like that is just mean.

**It's the only way to get things done.**

No.

**Ask him for his help? He's as confused by this as you are – and the guy would do anything to get a kiss out of you.**

I hate to admit it but that's not an awful plan…

**DO IT.**

Emmeline you're completely unreasonable.

**Do it.**

Darville is looking at us. Smile innocently.

THAT was an innocent smile? Really? You looked like you were going to skin him alive.

**Are you going to ask Potter for help or not?**

Maybe… if things get any worse.

Things did get worse. That evening Lily was meeting Severus in the library to study for a potions test that was coming up. Lily didn't think Sev would want Charlotte sniffing around when they were trying to work, so she told the girl that it was a private mates-chat. Charlotte was having none of this, and told Lily that if they were going to be mates, she should at least be friends with Snape as well. It was pretty much the last straw.

She finished eating early, so she could run back to the common room and grab her potions book, when Charlotte put down her knife and fork and followed Lily wordlessly out the hall. Emmeline looked at James and said "This is your fault,"

"How?" James questioned, apparently thinking himself as innocent. "What is even going on with those two?"

"You started this whole, 'you're not like Lily ergo you're not my type' business,"

"I would never use the word ergo!" James cried. "Is that what this is about?"

"You're clueless," Emmeline sighed sadly.

"Of course I am!" James exclaimed. "What did I do?"

"Shut it Potter, you got her into this mess, you get her out of it," Emmeline said with an ounce of menace.

Lily was walking up the main staircase angered that Charlotte followed her so obediently, when James called her name. Both Charlotte and Lily turned at the sound – it was almost unnerving to see. Lily looked worn down, and James figured that Emmeline was probably right and that it might actually be his fault. In any case, he ran up the stairs and reached the girls.

"Emmeline told me… about the notes in Defence," he hinted, so that this wouldn't come as big of a shock to her. "I know that you might have wanted to tell me yourself, when the time was right. But Lil…" he took another step towards her. There was no acting on his part – other than pretending she wanted him to kiss her. And maybe, in the small moment surrounded by the shadow that was Charlotte Parkinson, she did. "There's no time like the present," he leant in, they were eye to eye, because he was on the step below her. His lips found hers, and brushed across them gently. He wanted to show her that he could save her – that he was different to Oliver McEwan – that this kiss meant more to him than getting rid of an annoying stalker.

There was a crash and a wail. Lily and James jumped away from each other, the former shooting the latter a look of thanks and revulsion_. Oh great _– James thought, _just what I wanted._ Lily looked down the stairs to see Severus Snape, bag over his shoulder, walking away from a suit of armour that had been pushed to the floor. His pace was fast and his shoulders were hunched angrily. Lily wanted to run after him, but there was something that stood in front of her.

"SEV!" she called, but to no avail.

She heard the slap before she felt it. Charlotte Parkinson was shouting at her, pushing her over. Stumbling over the steps, Lily tripped and ended up on the floor, watching as students leaving dinner early gawped at the events unfolding. Parkinson was pulling Lily's hair now, to make her stand, and it wasn't until James Potter pulled the girl from her that Lily was able to realise she was being attacked.

"Calm down Lottie!" he called, struggling to keep the flailing girl at bay. People were gathering in the entrance hall now, curious as to the sound of commotion. Lily felt herself tearing up from the pain and humiliation. She wanted to find Severus and explain to him – she wanted to whack Emmeline round the head – she wanted to curl up in bed and cry until her pillow was too wet to sleep on. But first and foremost she wanted to get out of that hallway. _But how to do that_? Reaching into her pocket she pulled out a small box, and from the box removed a small glass vial. She spun around quickly to check her escape route, and threw the vial down, smashing it on the ground.

The entire hall filled with smoke within seconds – Mr Zonko had been right about that. Lily cursed her corrupt ways, and dashed for the exit. She ran and ran; her arms outstretched so that she wouldn't walk into anything. James cried out "Lily! Don't…" but by the time the smoke cleared, the girl was two floors away.

She ran, tears blurring her vision, her feet barely aware of where they were carrying her. Finally she reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, where she found solace due to the fact that everyone was at dinner. Cursing herself, she realised she couldn't stay here – James would be back soon, and she shared a dorm with Charlotte. She'd be killed whilst she slept! Grabbing her cloak from her dorm, she made to dash out of the common room.

She reached the top most tower, which was an empty class room, when she wrapped her cloak around her and sobbed. Everything was a disaster. Severus hated her – she would get a detention for using a Zonko's product in the corridors – James probably hated her – Charlotte was going to murder her. She was also cold and uncomfortable.

An hour passed before anyone found her.

There was a knocking at the door, which Lily (who was curled in the corner, hiccupping from crying) thought odd. How did anyone know that someone was in here? This room was completely unused, other than for crying teenagers. They knocked again, Lily took in a deep breath, and went to go and open the door.

"Why did you run off like that?" James demanded, stood in the doorway with an angry sadness encapsulating his face. He was still wearing his robes that he'd been wearing earlier, though now his hair looked limper and he had the shape of a red hand across his cheek. Lily wanted to reach out and apologize.

"I didn't want to be in that situation any longer. Aren't you the one that told me exactly how to do that?" Lily sighed, recalling how well they'd gotten along in Hogsmeade. The kiss hadn't even been bad – compared to Oliver's it had actually been everything she'd thought it would be.

"That's not the bloody point, Evans. I was worried," he looked it.

"And I was humiliated and attacked!" she cried. James flinched as though the sound in her broken voice pained him.

"How're you?" he asked softly now, stepping forwards to look at her. "Your face looks sore – quite a hit that girl has," James gestured to the red mark on his own face. Lily wondered if she had a matching one.

"I'm fine," she lied.

"You've been crying," James pointed out with a small chuckle.

"I'm a girl – I'm allowed to cry when I get hit," Lily said. "Close the door," he obliged.

"No – you're Lily Evans. You weren't crying because you got hit," James informed her.

"Wasn't I?" she questioned – she was pretty sure that her face stung.

"No. You were crying because now not everyone thinks you're as perfect as you think you are. You were crying because despite the fact I was trying to help you, I humiliated you in front of half the school. You were crying because Severus Snape saw me kissing you, and now he hates you," Lily felt the tears again. Okay – maybe it wasn't just her face that hurt.

"I didn't ask you to help me!" she retorted, angry at him for knowing her so well, when the whole time she had thought that he knew nothing but how to be a jerk.

"No, but I did anyway. And do you know why? Because you're so fucking helpless Lily. You go around preaching all this crap about equality and feminine solidarity and whatever, and yet you let people treat you like shit. Snivellus treats you like shit – Charlotte was totally using you to get to me – and you just let them. And me – stupid, arrogant and presumptuous James Potter – thought that maybe these last few years was just harmless bickering. Maybe I was getting somewhere with you – to a point where you didn't break my heart every time I asked you out. I thought that maybe we could be mates. But you're up here crying, feeling sorry for yourself, despite the fact that you're the one in the wrong. You completely used me today – I know you didn't ask me to do it, but you didn't stop it. You're a horrid person Evans. I might be a prat but at least I'm upfront about it!" Lily felt her lower lip tremble and a lump form in her throat. She was going to lose it – but she wasn't going to let herself do that in front of Potter. The only thing worse than sadness itself was James Potter knowing she was sad.

"Then why are you so obsessed with me?" she said harshly. He looked like he'd been slapped – again. He stepped backwards, and looked upon her with disgust.

"Consider this obsession over," he said, slamming the door and walking off.

She didn't know when she stopped crying, but when she finally did it wasn't because she wasn't sad anymore. It was simply because she had no more tears to cry. She didn't know what time it was, but knew it was far past curfew. She wondered if Filch would come in here, find her lying on her back counting the stars through the window, and just leave her there as _he_ had. Remembering the sadness in his eyes hurt, and she wanted to go up to him and apologize. But she never did. She just lay there on the cold floor, watching the sky grow brighter and brighter.

Her head ached.

By the time the sun had risen fully, she had composed herself. She was very tired, as she hadn't slept, so her eyes were extra red and puffy. Calculating where the nearest bathroom was, she set out a plan of action:  
**1.** Find bathroom – clean face – look less miserable/sleep deprived  
**2.** Go down to breakfast so early that no one will be around. Steal some croissants (maybe even enough for lunch)  
**3.** Go the long route to the Common Room, so that she won't walk into anyone and everyone will have left by breakfast to allow her to  
**4.** Sneak into dormitory. Change clothes and get books for the day's lessons  
**5.** Run to Charms, being JUST on time, so no awkward waiting outside the room with Potter and or Parkinson.

The first phase of the plan went brilliantly, as she was so far away from any common rooms that no one was around. She got to the bathroom on the seventh floor west wing, washed her face, finger-combed her hair and put it into a messy braid, and brushed her teeth with a transfigured tooth brush. Getting from the bathroom to the hall (and stealing food) without being seen by anyone proved noticeably harder. Luckily it was still so early that no one other than Early Birds were awake. However, as Lily had noticed in her first week at Hogwarts, Remus Lupin had been an early riser. He was sat at the far end of the hall, eating a bowl of musli. He seemed contend.

Lily slipped in the great hall, dashed to her table, and filled her pockets croissants. She thought she saw Remus looking over at her with confusion, but when she took a double take he was still munching on his cereal, so she continued on with the plan. The long route to the common room took twenty minutes. Between these times she figured most people would have made their way at least partially to the Great Hall. The only people she saw were the occasional Hufflepuff 6th year (who didn't care about Gryffindor 3rd year gossip) and a few ghosts. The final stretch of corridor to the Fat Lady was in sight, when she saw James, Sirius and Peter exciting the portrait hole, and heading for the nearest staircase. Luckily Lily was hidden expertly around the corner – though she dared not peak until she had given them enough time to leave.

When she popped her head around the corner, she saw Sirius Black looking down at her.

"Lily, what're you doing?" he asked her.

"Expertly avoiding detection," she whispered back to him in reply.

"Obviously. Why?" he questioned, leaning down to be at eye level with her.

"I don't want to exist today," informed the girl. Sirius laughed.

"Then take a sick day?" he suggested.

"No – for one thing I don't take sick days even if I'm sick. And another thing, the only thing worse than seeing… certain people today, is not seeing them at all," Lily said.

"Why?" he questioned.

"They'll think I'm a coward," she told him, her eyes wide and pained.

"It means that much to you that people don't think you're a coward," Sirius quizzed her.

"One of the first things James Potter ever said to both of us was "Gryffindor, where the brave of heart dwell,". Do you really think he'd respect me as a human being if I sat in my dorm and cried because some bad stuff happened?" she broke the eye contact.

"Why does it matter if he respects you?" Sirius asked kindly. In his mind he wondered if it had come to the point where she actually cared because she cared about him.

"Because yesterday he pointed out that people don't see me how I see me. They need to know that I don't care. And because for my entire time here he's always liked me unconditionally – even if I was friends with Sev or did stupid things or… and now he doesn't,"

"So that's why you're breaking into your own common room with pockets full of croissants?" he pointed out ridiculously.

"A girl's gotta have some leeway Sirius," she told him. Of course he laughed.

"Evans, you've got to stop,"

"It's only one day! I just don't want to get hit again!" she said quietly.

"I don't mean sneaking around. Do that all you want, you little ginger ninja. I mean: stop getting James' hopes up. I think… he might be able to move on from you now," that stung. "But you need to stop making him think like moving on is a bad idea,"

"When have I ever done that?" she asked, insulted. She'd never meant to lead him along.

"Christmas last year, Hogsmeade…" he listed. "Just… date Snape,"

"I don't like Sev like that!" Sirius looked genuinely confused.

"But you put up with him…" he puzzled.

"You put up with James," she retorted angrily.

"James is different," Sirius muttered.

"Why? The way I see it they are exactly the same," and she believed it to be true. They were the opposite sides of a coin, but not so different after all.

"That's going to make it harder for you," Sirius told her. "Look, Evans – I'm all aboard the SS. Jily, in fact – I'll don a captain's hat if you want me to, but you have got to stop pulling into the harbour before cruising!"

"You… make no sense," she informed him – her mind attempting to make sense of his metaphors.

"If you like James go for it – I'd rather it be you than Parkinson, or any of the other James-lovers out there. You might make him happy – maybe… if you learn to lighten up. Just, either go for it or don't," he instructed her.

"I don't like James romantically; he's not my type,"

"James is _everyone's_ type," Sirius said with a dark edge to his voice. "Heck, I've even seen Remus eye him up when he's walked into the dorm wearing just a towel"

"You boys really should reconsider dorm arrangements…" Lily suggested, remembering how James sat outside the bathroom door reading his friend transfiguration books whilst he bathed. _So maybe he wasn't a total jerk_ – she reconsidered.

"James is my best friend – he's like my brother (only my real brother's a prick) so he's better. He's all I have in this world Lily, and if you hurt him (which you do so often) I might have to hurt you…" Lily thought of Marlene immediately. She nodded, words stuck in her throat. "Have fun with your croissants," he said, then turned on his heel and sauntered away.


	4. Chapter 4 Failure to Be

"**We dream of being seen as we really are and then finally someone looks at us truly and we fail to measure up," - Siken**

Lily had successfully evaded James Potter and Charlotte Parkinson for a week. She'd gone to bed later than normal, woke up earlier, and spent an inordinate amount of time in the library. As a task in itself, it wasn't exactly hard to avoid these two particular people, because they didn't want to see Lily either. She had originally tried to avoid Emmeline Vance too, who had (admittedly not purposefully) gotten her into this mess, but as someone who had spent over two years being friends with Lily, she understood the other girl's mind set and caught her hiding out in the second floor bathroom with Moaning Myrtle on the first lunch time. Lily had shouted a bit and Emma had apologized and everything between them was forgotten.

The case of Severus Snape was very different however – Lily hadn't seen him outside of lessons in a week, and even then he chose to ignore that she was sat right beside him. He avoided meals, and showed up on the clock to potions, so that between Slughorn's chitter chatter and their actual work, there was no time for general talking. Lily could appreciate the effort he was going to avoid her, but really wished he'd stop.

Their last double Divination lesson on Friday was stuffy – Lily hadn't been getting enough sleep, she had missed lunch in order to hide from Potter (who had told Marlene he was looking for her) and she was utterly run down. She practically collapsed into her seat opposite Oliver, who shot her an ugly grimace. Professor Pes rushed over to her.

"You need to go to the hospital wing, Miss Evans," Swift said in an airy voice that she often donned when making a 'prediction'.

"I think I'm fine," Lily said with little patience for the lady's mad rambling.

"I foresee that you must go to the hospital wing, or you will collapse," Pes repeated. _Give her some credit_ – Lily thought – _at least she could read faces, if not tea leaves. _

"Don't tempt the fates, Lily," Oliver said unkindly. "Go. Isn't the hospital wing on your list of places to go before seventh year? You don't even need to be sick!" Oliver grumbled, and Lily finally understood why he was being so mean to her about the whole incident. It hadn't been the rock to the head, or the fact that she hadn't stood up for him, or she hadn't followed him. It was because he thought she only agreed to go on a date with him because of the stupid list. She vowed to kill Emmeline for bringing it up in front of him,

Lily stood up and looked over to Emmeline, who shot her a much needed smile. She grabbed her books and stuffed them back into her bag angrily. Professor Pes was watching her as though she was cursed and Oliver was obviously going to make this lesson harder than it had to be, so she saw no reason to stick around. Shutting the door behind her with more force than was strictly necessary, Lily climbed through the trapdoor that lead to the stuffy tower room and past the bellowing portrait of Sir Caddogan.

There was no chance in hell that Lily was _really_ going to go to the hospital wing on the word of a phony – Holloway would lose all respect for the girl if she strutted in saying she felt fine but Pes told her she 'foresaw' the necessity for a visit. Instead, she planned to take a well-deserved nap in her comfortable bed until dinner. Potter and Parkinson would have a job annoying her whilst they were in lessons! Triumphantly plotting, Lily didn't realise where she was going and bumped into a lanky boy.

"Evans, you _really_ need to work on your sneaking around," Sirius Black said with a grin. "You look pale,"

"Sirius, I'm ginger – I always look pale," she grumbled angrily.

"Fair point – what're you doing?" he questioned her.

"I'm going to go and take a nap in my dormitory. Professor Pes informed me that if I stayed in the class for much longer I would need to take a trip to the hospital wing, and Oliver had an angry look in his eyes that hinted he'd be the one to put me there. Therefore I am going to a nap,"

"You're going the wrong way," Sirius pointed out. Lily took a look around and realised that he was correct – she was heading towards the library, where she'd been spending the most of her time recently.

"Oh thanks – what're you doing any way? Shouldn't you be in Arithmancy?" she asked of him.

"Pee break," Sirius told her, "And by that I mean I'm going to the kitchens because Potter and I were peckish. He wants to talk to you by the way,"

"He probably just wants to shout at me, which I'm fine with avoiding for now," Lily sighed, really wishing that she could just collapse and have a reason to ignore everyone.

"No – he doesn't want to shout, else I'd have told you to run for your life. He's calmed down a bit now. You know it's been two days since he's even thought about asking you out?"

"Well that's good?" Lily yawned.

"I'll let you to bed Evans. I have some food to pick up," Sirius said, bowed at his waist and skipped off down the corridor. Lily chuckled and corrected her path. Hoping no one saw her, she was a little more careful with her route – avoiding the main stair cases and the class rooms where McGonagall and some of the stricter teachers may see her walking past. She was so caught in not being seen that she almost walked right into some Slytherins talking. They were in a disused class room with the door slightly ajar. Lily froze.

"Cissa," a dark haired girl called. Lily recognized the pretty girl as the seventh year, Bellatrix Black. She was Sirius' cousin, but unlike the boy himself, she loved the family honour. "He wants me to marry him when we leave Hogwarts!"

"Well, that's fabulous Bella! Rodolphus is highly respectable, and he obviously loves you so!" The other girl said. Narcissa was a year younger than Bella, and her polar opposite in almost every way. Where Bellatrix was dark haired, olive skinned, with a cruel beauty about her, Narcissa had the pale complexion of someone who hadn't seen the sun in a month, and hair to match. Her family morals were quite the same as her sister's – purity is best – but Lily didn't see her as a particularly _cruel_ girl.

"No, Cissy. You don't get it. The Dark Lord wants me to marry Rod," there was a dark pain that was barely masked in the older girl's words.

"If the Dark Lord wished it, it must be so," Narcissa said. Lily knew that this was not a conversation that she (especially as a mudblood) should be over hearing. She tried to turn back, but her feet were glued in place. "I know how you feel about him,"

"I thought he'd see me differently after we attacked those muggles together over the summer," Bellatrix recalled fondly. Lily realised they must be talking about Voldemort. She knew the Blacks were obsessed with the dark arts and blood purity, but she hadn't thought that Sirius' close family could be connected to such an evil man. She felt sick in her gut.

"The Dark Lord's interests are not in romance, Bella. I'm sorry – but we both know that," she heard a deep sigh and the sound of high heels on stone floors.

"Then why does he wish me married to Rod?" exclaimed the older girl. "Why does he wish me away to _him_?"

"Because Rodolphus is a Lestrange," Narcissa said as though it were obvious. "He would make a good husband. He is handsome and talented and his lineage is untainted,"

"I have no wish for him," Bellatrix said defiantly. "I could explain it to him?" she said hopefully. "I could tell him to send Rodolphus to another, who would happily have him. I could be his most faithful-" she rattled, but she was interrupted.

"You would defy him?" Narcissa asked.

"I would defy him, for his own good!" Lily willed her feet to move – she didn't need to hear this. It was just a private chat between sisters, nothing to do with the obsession of one girl for the most evil man in history. Her feet stayed still – her body too exhausted from the lack of sleep.

"You think you know his heart better than he does?" the blonde asked incredulously.

"I know he has no heart," even from her place behind the door, Lily could hear the excitement in her voice whilst proclaiming such a thing.

"That should not be so appealing to you Trixie. Lucius…"

"Lucius is a coward," the girl changed immediately. She barked the last.

"To love does not make you weak, Bella," Narcissa said wisely.

"I disagree. If the dark lord were to kill Lucius you would be devastated. If the dark lord were to kill Rodolphus, I would greet him still with open arms," Bellatrix sighed.

"There are worse things than caring for family, Bella," Narcissa assured.

"Like caring for mudbloods? You should be glad Lucius is a pure blooded wizard," Bella snapped.

"I should not love him if he were any other way," Narcissa said with passion. Lily felt like laughing – she'd _almost_ felt sympathy for the girl.

"Well at least you have something right," she heard an exhale.

"Should you be smoking?" Narcissa asked with a giggle.

"It won't kill me,"

"It might," the younger said.

"No._ I'm_ going to die a hero's death. I will die whilst battling for _My_ Lord in the face of a worthy adversary," she spoke just like a warrior.

"Like the Dark Lord himself?" Narcissa suggested ironically.

"If it is his wish," Bellatrix said with fire. Lily felt chills down her spine. There was a silence, where all she heard was inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. She tried to limit her own breathing, but her heart was thumping madly. In the silence she wondered if they'd think to check if they were still alone. She was so wrapped up with the thought of escaping as quickly and silently as possible that she jumped when Narcissa spoke once more.

"Marry Rodolphus, Bella, and he won't kill you," Narcissa spoke as someone who was worried for her sister – she spoke as someone who would do anything for her family.

"I could kill him!" Bellatrix exclaimed.

"The murder of a pure blood? Our Lord would not be so gracious to you then Bella. Purebloods are invaluable," Narcissa said it with laughter. _Psychopaths, the lot of them_ – Lily thought.

"Then why is it that he allows Snape to live?" Lily stopped dead at the sound of her friend's name. What did Sev have to do with these people? She'd seen him talking with them at the dinner table and in the corridors, but she had assumed it was just because they were all Slytherins. Could Severus be involved in the kind of stuff Bellatrix and her sister seemed so obsessed with?

"Severus is only 13. The Dark Lord has no use for him," Lily let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding, "yet, but he realises potential," her stomach knotted again.

"He's a mudblood lover!" Lily wanted to vomit. The mudblood in question had to be herself.

"The Gryffindor? I haven't seen them with one another for weeks," she wanted to knock down the door and scream at the two girls that it had only been one week, and that Severus didn't love her and that they were still friends. She wanted to say a lot, but she swallowed it with her beating heart.

"Just look how miserable he's been. Moping around the Common Room, trying those spells he makes…"

"They're brilliant spells," Narcissa stood up for the boy. Lily felt confused – Severus had invented more spells? She knew about Levicorpus, everyone in Hogwarts did at this point, but more?

"Did you see the one he used on that Hufflepuff's cat?" Bellatrix fawned, her voice like it had sounded when declaring the dark lord heartless.

"Sectumsempra? The one that caused wounds in the chest?" Lily's eyes widened. It sounded awful – surely Severus couldn't have done that?

"Until it bled to death! It was brilliant!" her heart stopped for the second time in a week – though now it wasn't for the same reason.

"It was brutal, but genius," Narcissa agreed. There was silence. Lily's head was rushing with lack of sleep, lack of food, and overload of distressing information. She wanted to unstick her feet, but her heart was thumping violently against the cage of her ribs and she tried to beat off a panic attack.

"Will Flitwick wonder where you are?" Narcissa questioned her elder sister.

"Let him. Where should you be?" Bella replied.

"Slughorn,"

"You're fine then. Fancy going to hex any first years we can find? They have Friday afternoons free," Lily didn't wait to hear the answer. She stole control of her legs and used the adrenaline that was killing her heart to force a sprint down the corridor and up the stairwell. There she ran as fast as she could, as far away from the two voices as possible. She was stumbling towards her own common room when she collapsed into a frightened pile on the floor.

It was ten minutes before she could stand – her hands in her hair and her breath on her arms to remind herself that she was here – that she was still standing and breathing_. My name is Lily Evans, I am a mudblood, but I am better for it. I am a sister and daughter and friend. I have a heart – I can love. I have friends who aren't death eaters. I am standing, I am breathing, I am still here and I am still Lily Evans. I am going to live._

When she crawled into bed she realised it was probably the end of lessons, and that everyone would be appearing soon to chuck their bags. Drawing the curtains around her bed, she fell back and cuddled her duvet corner. She tried to push back the conversation she'd heard, but kept hearing _"Severus" "Mudblood lover" "Spells he invented" "Bled to death"_. She heard the door open and footsteps walking into the room. A loud thud sounded as someone dropped their bag, and a creak of springs as the person fell onto their bed.

"Lily?" Emmeline whispered. "Are you awake?" She considered ignoring the girl and feigning sleep, but she couldn't keep this to herself. She didn't have clarity of mind enough to sleep.

"I think so," Lily said, and pulled back an inch of curtain. Emmeline crawled through the gap, and snuggled next to her friend.

"Have you slept at all?" she whispered.

"No – I only just got in," Lily admitted.

"Did you actually go to the hospital wing?" Emmeline questioned her. Lily shook her head.

"No… I was walking down the fifth floor corridor and…" Lily explained the entire conversation. Emmeline was silent throughout, barely reacting, until she repeated 'mudblood lover', to which she gasped and said "Oh Lil!" but she allowed Lily to continue without any more interruptions. Lily was grateful for this, as the entire thing was hard enough to recall without distracting "oohs" and "ahhhs".

When she finished Lily was exhausted. She wanted to fall back in her pillow and sleep until Monday, but there was something in Emmeline's expression that told her that was not going to happen. The other girl lay looking at her friend with wide eyes, and her mouth pulled into a sad frown.

"You're not going to tell me to go to Dumbledore are you?" Lily asked glumly.

"No, don't be stupid – they are Blacks and you're … no offence… it's just that…" Emmeline muttered.

"Who'd believe a muggleborn over two Blacks?" Lily finished. It had been exactly what she'd been thinking, but it hurt to have it voiced.

"Exactly – I mean Dumbledore would, but he's not the last word in these things. These are serious allegations, and the entire ministry would be involved. I hate to say it, but the Blacks are damn powerful in the ministry at the moment, and you'd only be putting yourself in danger," Emmeline finished. She was glad Em said it, so she didn't feel silly for being so cowardly. Godric would be rolling in his grave.

"I'm going to tell Sirius…" Lily said. Emmeline looked at her inquisitively, but she'd thought it through during her mild anxiety attack, and it seemed like the best answer. "He's their cousin,"

"So am I!" Emmeline reminded her.

"Yes, but they're closer – you said yourself that your family has very little to do with the Blacks. Sirius should know. Maybe he does already. I don't know. I'd just feel a lot safer if Sirius knew,"

"Are you going to tell him about Severus?"

"No," Lily said. In truth, she hadn't planned on even telling Emmeline about that part of the conversation, but she needed to get it out of her – like a poison that only left once shared. "I don't know what I'm going to do about that," Lily admitted.

"James wants to talk to you," Emmeline said. It seemed rather out of the ordinary.

"So I've been told. But back to Sev,"

"I think you should go and talk to James," Emmeline said. "He sent me up here to get you; he's probably still waiting,"

"I have bigger things to worry about right now, Em!" but her friend just laughed.

"He'll help. And then you can tell Sirius about Cissy and Bella," Emmeline encouraged.

"But then James'll hear!" Lily groaned.

"You think Sirius Black doesn't tell James Potter everything he hears in a day? He probably relays every conversation he eavesdrops to the poor boy. I'd bet that Sirius lies with his head in James' lap and tells him distressing news, when he's feeling sad," Em said, to which they both had a good giggle.

"Fine, but _then_ I'm having a nap," Lily vowed. Both girls got out of bed, left the curtains drawn, and headed towards the common room. There sat James Potter and Sirius Black on a couch – Lily and Emmeline looked at each other and burst into laughter. The boys looked confused and Sirius muttered "girls," under his breath.

"You wanted to talk?" Lily asked sleepily.

"Evans, did you get any sleep at all?" Sirius interrupted.

"No, but I'll tell you all about that in a minute," Lily explained. James looked confused, but gestured for both of the girls to take a seat.

"So Snivellus hates you because he thinks you like kissing me, right?" Lily went to interject, but he cut her off, "Evans, I don't blame you for liking it. I am a master of every skill worth mastering,"

"Like fishing!" Sirius said with a troubling smile. "James is a master baiter!" and everyone (James included) burst into laughter. It took a good four minutes for them to calm down from the joke, because every time Emmeline would gain the smallest composure, she would remember the hilarity and was set off again. When they finally stopped their giggling, James spoke.

"My plan was to have you rejecting my irresistible advances, in front of Severus, so that he may see that you do not want this body. Though why you don't is an utter mystery to at least 80% of the people I know…" James rambled.

"That's not actually a bad plan, Potter," Lily replied after a moment of consideration. "But won't it ruin your irresistible reputation?" she joked.

"Don't worry – I've got that planned, as well," James said enigmatically. "You up for it?"

"I suppose…"

"Tell them the thing, Lil," Emmeline prodded.

"Thing?" James and Sirius said in unison. After checking no one was listening in (then casting a quick Muffilo spell just in case) Lily repeated what she had heard from the Black sisters for the second time that evening. Sirius went still and his jaw tightened as Lily went on, but James continuously interjected with small gasps of horror and "funny" quips regarding Bellatrix's marriageability. When she finished with the story (missing out the section which she spoke about Severus) there was a second of silence.

"Why did you tell me this?" Sirius said eventually. "Why do you think I would want to know this?"

_Because they're your family. Because they are doing bad things. Because I'm a muggleborn and I'm scared out of my mind – _Lily thought all of these, but she said nothing.

"Sirius, look at it from Lily's view," James said calmly. "Think about why _she_ would tell _you_," Sirius was quite for a whole minute, but his movements were very sketchy. His eyes flashed around the room, and there was an anger set into his face.

"What do you think, Em?" Sirius asked finally, turning to the one person who had been silent throughout the conversation.

"I think exactly what you do, Sirius. I think this is all getting a bit intense…"

"It's a war – of course it's intense," he snapped. "James?"

"You've known where I stand for three years now, mate_," right next to you_ – James left unsaid. "Momma and Dadda Potter, too,"

"And Evans?"

"What do I think about what?"

"The whole situation…"

"I'm terrified…" they all looked at her. "And don't act like you're all not, either. We're caught in this war,"

"You don't have to be Lily," Emmeline said. "You could hide,"

"No I can't. One day I'm going to have a husband, the likelihood of which won't be a pureblood, and we'll have a child who won't be pure-blooded. One day I'm going to fight,"

"So you agree with us?" Lily nodded, though truthfully she didn't know what he was talking about.

"Good," Sirius said. "I was starting to think you were going to let the world have you,"

"I'd never…"

"Then stop hiding from the entire school because you're embarrassed," James said, but then flinched. He knew what was coming next. Or at least he thought he did.

"Ok," she said with dignity. James and Sirius jumped back in shock.

"So you'll eat dinner with the five of us?" James challenged.

"Fine… wait, the five of you?"

It turned out that the five of them counted Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter and the ecstatically-happy-until-Lily-showed-up Charlotte Parkinson. The latter shot her and Emmeline a dark look as they sat near the marauders but shuffled up closer to James, who surprisingly didn't recoil. Lily dropped her head to her plate and started to eat her dinner, avoiding the sickening sight of James and Charlotte flirting and giggling with each other. Lily tried to remind herself why she wasn't avoiding the world anymore.

Half way through her dessert she saw Severus get up from the Slytherin tables and begin to skulk off out of the hall. She jumped off (only too happy to get away from Charlotte's hands pawing over James) the stool and headed towards the door herself. She thought about James' offer, but figured that she might as well try and corner the other boy first.

Severus was down the corridor he had stormed off a week ago when she caught him. She felt herself going red in the face when he turned, saw her, and turned right around again.

"Severus! Please, hear me out?" she pleaded.

"Yes Evans?" he said harshly. It was painful to hear him say her name like that.

"I don't fancy Potter! I didn't want to kiss him!" was the first thing off her tongue. She had hoped to structure her explanation a little better than that, but she figured that was the main point of the conversation.

"It didn't look that way. I'm sorry, Lily, I thought you had more sense," he looked so disappointed in her – his eyes were looking at the ground, and his black hair obscured most of his face from view, but she just knew it, from the tenseness of his posture and the distance in his voice.

"He only kissed me because Charlotte Parkinson was following me around to make him jealous, so the only way to make her leave me alone was for her to think we were together," Lily attempted again.

"Oh Lily, don't tell me you've become one of those girls who plots things like this?" the way he said it made it sound terrible – like the worst crime to commit. Being one of "those" girls – the girls they both spent hours complaining about in the library. The girls like Charlotte Parkinson.

"No! It was just awful! It had to stop!" she moaned.

"You're right – seeing you there, making an utter fool out of yourself _was_ awful. I can see why Mulciber and Avery think you're bad company," he went to turn away, letting the insult sting more than he had intended it to. She stood there taken aback, but refused to take no for an answer.

"Mulciber and Avery thing I'm bad company because my parents don't go around killing muggles," she retorted.

"That's unfair, Lily," Severus said sternly.

"No, Severus – what's unfair is that you haven't even given me a chance to explain myself fully, and you kill cats and now you're defending death eaters!" she was desperate, and her face showed it. The boy's face however had dropped to complete shock and fear – his black eyes were huge like a beetle, and staring intently at her.

"What?" he demanded.

"Mulciber and Avery are totally going to become…"

"No, what did you say before that?" he was getting angry, she could tell. His jaw was tightening like Sirius' had done hours previously.

"That you won't give me a chance to explain why Potter kissed me, and why it may have appeared that I kissed him back. It wasn't even my plan!"

"After that Lily - you said I kill cats?" he tried to make it sound nonchalant, but failed miserably. Lily's stomach dropped, had she said that?

"Did I?"

"Yes, you did," he said, his features fully composed now.

"Are you going to deny it?" she threatened him, her eyebrow arched with the challenge.

"Deny what?" Severus retorted. "I don't know what you mean…" he lied. Something inside her snapped. She felt it, in that moment. If she hadn't believed the Slytherin girls earlier, the proof was in his face. It was the proof that she was losing her best friend. The string inside her stung painfully, and knocked the breath from her. That was the moment she knew – Lily Evans knew that she would never come first to Severus Snape, ever again.

"I don't know… it must've just been a slip of the tongue," she lied in return.

"Right," he accepted the lie, obviously as broken as she was. The two children stood there like crippled puppets, reaching inside themselves and fumbling to tie the strings back together. They tried to believe what the other one said, but the truth was obviously in the pained eyes of both of them. This was the fork in the road. One day they would both have to decide, and they were both on different paths.

"Please hear me out?" Lily said finally, her voice cracking more than she'd hoped it would.

"Go on then…" he allowed.

"Well, Hogsmeade was terrible. Then Charlotte Parkinson came back with her hair all like mine, and it was weird. Then she started being really nice to me and Em and everyone, and it confused us. The girl wouldn't let me breathe – she followed me to the bathroom Sev. She tried to come to our study session! Emmeline told me that I should pretend to be going on a date with Potter or something, so that she'd see that her acting like me wasn't making him want her (though I think that might be wrong, by now), but I didn't agree to it. Then she was following me to the common room, and Potter ran out after us. Emmeline had just told him the plan, obviously noticing my distress. Then he kissed me, and I figured that it would get rid of her. Which it did, by the way – and Potter. They found each other, I think," Lily rambled. The story was told in about three hurried breaths. Severus looked a bit taken aback.

"You must be an awful kisser," he said finally with a smile.

"Oh, I really am," she returned his with a small smile. He laughed.

"How did you find the potions test?" he asked her, totally normally. His back was a little tenser than normal, but his face was totally serene.

"Alright – I don't think I did too well on the sourcing of the ingredients question. That's more herbology, and I'm awful at that kind of thing. You?"

"I found it fine," he said. "Look, if this is going to work, you have to promise me something?"

"What's that?" she tried to sound calm. At one point in time she might have promised to do anything – but not anymore – now she needed to know his demands.

"Stay away from Potter," he growled finally. Lily stood shocked for a second. She could have guessed that was coming – but was she ready to agree to it? Of course, Potter was an arrogant toe rag, and they barely got along when they spoke, but to be told to stay away from him? Wasn't that a bit extreme? Potter had been nice to her recently – offering to help get Severus back. He wasn't going to make her choose between him and Severus. That's because, in her mind, there was no choice. Severus was her best friend, and had been since they were children. Maybe he didn't know what she meant by killing cats, maybe he wasn't involved with that kind of thing.

She almost had herself convinced by this, until she heard the marauders in the entrance hall, with Marlene, Mary, Donna and Emmeline. Lily spun on reflex, and saw that neither Potter nor Parkinson was with the group. She saw Sirius and remembered their conversation earlier – if it came to it, she would fight in this war. It was at that moment, James Potter holding onto the hand of Charlotte Parkinson followed the other group from the hall, looked over to her standing with Severus. He didn't smile. He didn't acknowledge her. He simply turned away from her, and kissed the other girl in the exact same way he had done to her a week before. So much for being a special kiss!

"Okay," Lily found herself saying as she turned back to Severus. He smiled at her, but she didn't return it. "Okay,"

"Erm, I should go and start that Transfiguration essay," he excused. She nodded.

"Yes, me too - see you tomorrow," she said, turned around, and followed where her class mates had walked up the stairs to their common room.

When Lily returned to the common room her eyes went straight to James. He noticed – of course he did. He noticed her more whenever he was trying not to notice her, so at the moment he was noticing her an awful lot. Her hair was messy in its pony tail, she had black bags under her eyes, and skin paler than usual – the result was that she looked ill. But that was no different to how she looked all week – now however there was a ghost behind the green of her eyes. There was a terrible secret that leaked out in the moment she saw him seeing her, and the moment she looked away, not to look again for years.

Her head turned skittishly, she found Emmeline. The girl moved forwards and fell practically into the other's arms, whispering something, lingering there for a second and moving towards the stairwell. Had James been trying to notice her, he might have followed, but as it was he stayed put, and loosened his grip on the arm that was flung around Charlotte Parkinson.

That was their routine. It was painful and arduous. It was necessary and awful. Every morning he woke up with smile, noticed his reflection growing sadder and sadder. He'd smile again, in an effort to convince himself that this was not the case. I fancy Lottie, he would tell himself three times every morning, before turning the mirror away. Every morning he'd wake up, he'd search the room for her, go down to the Great Hall and do the same thing. He'd eat his breakfast with Charlotte, eyes focused on how many croissants there was that morning. By lunch the smile he'd convinced himself existed was stationary. He and Sirius would do something stupid – something reckless, so that in the seconds between doing and being caught when his heart had stopped from anticipation he could convince himself – I fancy Lottie. Then at night, she would not look at him, and he would look at her not doing it, and the smile would go. I fancy Lottie – he ordered himself. She would leave him, and he'd return to his dorm. I fancy Lottie, I fancy Lottie, I fancy Lottie – he deluded himself. He'd remove his glasses, close his curtains, so that no one in the whole of Hogwarts could see him lying there whispering "I love Evans, I love Evans, I love Evans,"

Christmas came, the snow fell, and he and Sirius went home for the holidays. He got Lottie a singing teddy bear; she got him a broom-care kit. He thought about the book he had sent someone on Christmas last year. Most of the students were also going home for the holidays, he knew for a fact that Lily Evans would be (with Severus Snape) returning to Cokeworth for two weeks, in order to spend time with her dad who was desperately sick. December 25th came, and he and Sirius woke up at 7:00am; half an hour too early.

There were two beds in James' room now, due to Sirius' regular and extended visits. Grace Potter loved it. She herself admitted to wanting more children, but told them it had been too difficult with James being how he is, their work and their age. Sirius – to them – was another son. James didn't mind in the slightest. Throughout the last month or two Sirius had been the one person who knew everything, and he didn't even need to tell him.

Sirius would be there tell Lottie how pretty she was, when James wasn't feeling up to lying. Sirius would tell Remus to be quite when mentioning something _someone_ had done in a certain lesson, which was particularly of merit. Sirius was there to hex Snape in the corridor when he was walking with _someone_ and James didn't want to look like a prat. Sirius was there to pile the credit of the hex onto James, so that _someone_ would continue to leave him alone to his sad little routine.

Sirius however, was not there at 7:13 on Christmas morning, when an unfamiliar owl found James at his bedroom window. The former boy was using the toilet, and complaining loudly that they'd get to open their presents now if they were at Hogwarts! The owl was carrying two small envelopes and two packages. James fed the owl and removed the things from the owl's leg. It gave him a small peck and flew right away.

James looked at the packages – there was one with Sirius' name, and one with his own – the same with the envelopes. Curiosity got the better of James, and he opened the envelope addressed to him immediately. Inside was a small Christmas card, with a red boarder and a wonderfully hand drawn picture of James wearing a Santa's hat a crimson Quidditch shirt and riding his broom-sleigh. James laughed, and opened the card. It read:

Potter,  
I know you sent the book – I'm sorry for everything - Merry Christmas – Hope you like the gift.  
Lily.

He thought the note a little abrupt and unchristmassy, but he wasn't aware that it had taken 18 attempts to write, before settling upon the least personal form of communication possible. Sirius was probably off terrorising the house elves at this point, so James felt he had enough time to open the gift too. His parents weren't aware of this gift, so they couldn't tell him off for opening it too early. The gift was bulky, but squishy, so James assumed it was some form of either clothing or weird blanket. What lay inside made him laugh:

It was (what appeared to be) a hand knitted jumper, identical to the one he wore during Quidditch. There was a golden stripe across the chest and the word POTTER was knitted in golden lettering on the back. It must've taken ages! James thought – even using magic, knitting took a while. He pulled it over his head – it was a perfect fit, and warm too. When Sirius came in seconds later holding a handful of waffles he said:

"Mum made waffles, and nice jumper! Where'd you get it?"

"It was a gift… it just came… you've got one too,"

"Who from?" James didn't answer; he just threw the card and the box. It rattled.

James watched as Sirius opened the card and read it. His own card showed a picture of the snow-Dumbledore waltzing across the Hogwarts grounds squeaking "Merry Christmas!" James studied his friends face as he read the card – something which seemed to take a lot longer than reading his own. He wondered what it said. Eventually, Sirius burst out into laughter and said "Oh, Evans," he looked up and saw James. "You alright, mate?"

"Always," he replied. Sirius leant over his bed and picked up the box. He tore the paper from around it, and then removed what appeared to be a jar from the wrapping.

"What is it?" James asked.

"It's the answer to my prayers, Potter, that's what," Sirius said. "Evans said she's charmed it – you can put any form of sweet (say chocolate frogs) into the jar, and it will immediately replicate twenty of them for you. I will never go hungry again!" Sirius proclaimed. True enough, Sirius reached into the jar and pulled out a chocolate frog from the many. "Shame it won't make the cards any different,"

"That's some pretty amazing magic," James commented. Then he heard the creaks of his old manor's floorboards, and jumped up. "C'mon, Black! Present time!"


	5. Chapter 5 A Downfall

**5. A Downfall**

**Fourth Year – February 14th**

The village of Hogsmeade was beautifully adorned with flowers - roses and lilies decked the street lavishly. Everything was pink, red and white – little cupids flying overhead, throwing confetti on the couples and students below. Flocks of doves replaced the owls that day – floating through the air and resting on kissing couples' heads. Everywhere, happy teenagers ran from shop to shop, their hands intertwined and their adoration readily visible in their smiling faces. That was the majority of the population of Hogwarts – then there was Lily and Severus, the former of which hated Valentine's day because "it's a corrupt system, that symbolises nothing but needlessly buying gifts for one another," and the latter of which hated only one thing more than Valentine's day. That thing was James Potter.

Despite the day's terrible materialistic reasoning, Lily was having a lovely time strolling down the village of Hogsmeade, arm in arm with Severus Snape. It had become their tradition on Hogsmeade visits, to take a walk, visit some shops, and then grab a bite to eat and a warm butterbeer in the three broomsticks before heading back to the castle. It wasn't extremely exciting. It wasn't the numerous dates that Marlene and Sirius had, running around causing havoc – it wasn't Mary with a new bloke every trip (none of which ever met her standards) – it wasn't Donna on her first date (bless her, she'd been so nervous this morning – Lily told Sev) – and it wasn't Emmeline, who begrudgingly followed Lily and Severus around with a sour look that did not become her.

To Emmeline, it seemed that everyone but her had someone – and when that "everyone" included the evil git Severus Snape she knew she needed to move on from the boy whom she had liked for years. Lily was totally aware of her friend's predicaments, and was trying as much as possible to include her in the festivities.

"Oh Em, don't you think they're the cutest?" She looked back to the girl who was dropping behind from the pair to avoid them. She grunted and nodded.

"Sure," she agreed. The pair in question were Alice Griffiths and Frank Longbottom – he'd finally gotten the nerve to ask her out in the early months of last year, and they'd been near inseparable ever since. They were almost like Sirius and James. That was until both of them got girlfriends – now they (with a lot of fuss) allowed each other the day alone to spend with their beloved. "Look, Lil – I think I just saw Peter and Remus – I think I'll go say hi to them!" she excused herself and ran off in pursuit of the Three Broomsticks where she had seen the aforementioned boys entering.

"That was a bit odd, wasn't it Sev?" Lily asked, looking up into his dark eyes, as he looked down into hers. He could kiss her, he knew, and she mightn't even recoil. Her green eyes told him that maybe he had a chance, to hold her hand rather than her arm, and to kiss her when she looked at him. Maybe they could be spending Valentine's day together – despite how they both detested it. They could not-celebrate it with one another. It was not the first time he'd been caught in his thoughts like this, but it was the one time he may have actually followed through with it, until…

"Aww, Snivley got a date. Evans, really, c'mon - you could do a lot better than Greasy here. Go out with me?" Potter asked for the 23rd time since January.

"Eat dung, Potter,"

"Evans! We could go to that cafe that all the girls really like, and I'll buy you flowers. It'll be romantic, say yes,"

"No," Lily said, and pushed the door open. "Shouldn't you be with Charlotte?"

"She broke up with me again – I figured I'd let her cool off then I'd find her later,"

"Cool off? What did you do to her?" Severus asked sourly.

"I didn't get her a gift, I forgot to ask her on a date, and I may have let Sirius transfigure her into a teapot at breakfast…" James hummed.

"Is it bad that I actually feel bad for Charlotte Parkinson?" she asked, turning to Severus. He laughed.

"I'd feel bad for anyone who had to kiss that," Severus added.

"Well Snivellus, that's just mean – a boy has feelings you know!" James pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. "Evans, c'mon, I'm lonely!"

"No. Now go away, you're ruining my day," Lily said sternly and attempted to walk off.

"Well, what about you Snivley? Fancy going on a date with me?"

"I'd rather go dancing with Slytherin's monster," Snape muttered.

"Have it your way then. Tarantallegra!" Potter muttered, pointing his wand at Snape, whose legs started dancing at once. Severus looked distressed, and Lily around to see what the problem was. Upon seeing James Potter's wand pointed at her best friend who was _obviously_ under a dancing-hex she felt a cold anger rising up inside her.

"Finite" she called, ending the spell, and catching Severus (though he was quite a lot taller than her) as he fell. The result made them both stumble and Potter to laugh. "James Potter, really - there are plenty of brain dead girls stupid enough to go out with you. In fact, you are in a relationship with one of them! Pray tell, why won't you leave me alone?"

"I've got a bet," James said coolly.

"Well, I put my money on whoever is betting against you, c'mon Sev," Lily said, her chin in the air.

They spent an hour looking through all the normal shops, but grew bored far quicker than they used to. Then, they decided it was time for a nice lunch and a drink to warm them up from the horrible February weather. On the walk to the Three Broomsticks, Lily pointed out more cute couples to Severus who's mind was severely preoccupied by other matters – her. Of this she wasn't aware, however, and so she continued to mumble about how it was such a shame that couples only ever seem to be nice to each other on this day.

There was some truth to this (other than in the case of drama queen Parkinson and idiot Potter). Across the road, Lily saw Norrel Hamilton bestowing a fountain of kisses to his hufflepuff girlfriend of two years – Pricilla Stangroom. On any other day the pair could be found shouting at each other across the great hall, demanding to know "_Why don't you pay any attention to me_?" and "_Why don't you understand I have bigger problems than you Cilla_?" Lily found a large amount of entertainment in their fights, as it was often the best cure for Monday morning blues.

So far in her memories regarding the arguing couple, Lily barely noticed when Severus held open the door for the Three Broomsticks and gestured for her to go in. She thanked him and went in – her eyes adjusting to the darker light. The place was packed – most of the single students, or those (like Lupin and Pettigrew) going stag to the bar. James Potter didn't seem to be around – though she did see Charlotte Parkinson crying with a bunch of her stupid gossiping Ravenclaw friends in a corner booth. Lily saw Emmeline having an animated conversation about something with Remus, so she decided that she shouldn't interrupt that with bringing Severus along.

She was searching for a place to sit when she saw the only group of boys worse than the marauders – Severus' Slytherin friends. This group had grown since their first year. It now consisted of Amycus Carrow, Mulciber, Avery, Lestat Rosier and Rabastan Lestrange. The boys didn't really like Sev's friendship with her, and Lily didn't exactly feel bad about that. These boys were notorious bad-eggs. They were the kind of kids your mum warns you about when you grow up – they are the evil hunter, the horrible step mother and the big bad wolf. Lily went to turn out of the pub but they called out.

"Severus!" called Mulciber (who was chatting up a scared third year. She took the moments diversion to run off to her friends) "What're you doing with _that_?" he gestured to Lily. Sev went still besides her, unsure what to say. It wasn't the first time. "Avery, look at Snape!" Mulciber laughed.

"C'mon Sev - we'll get you a drink!" Rosier laughed. "We'll even get one for your little pet – assuming you have a doggy bowl?" Lily felt herself go horrendously red.

"Leave the girl alone, and join the real wizards, Snape," Rabastan said. Lily wanted to shout at them all, but her tongue seemed to be caught in a mixture of shame and embarrassment.

"Aww, I think Snapey-doodle is torn between us and his precious mudblood pet," Carrow laughed to his friends. Lily didn't know how to react. The bar had gone almost silent at the sound of the M-word, and Severus didn't seem to be saying anything either. He was as silent as she was, but she needed him to say something. She needed him to tell them to go away – she wouldn't have even minded if he'd have shooed her in that moment, but his stunned silence stung her worse than anything he could have said. And she really needed him to say something.

"Don't say that word in front of Lily Evans ever again," a dark voice sounded from behind her. It was angry - _really angry_ - as though the owner of the voice had been insulted on her behalf. For a second Lily had thought Sev had found his voice, but she realised the voice was too far away – it was too angry. Severus never got that angry, not unless Lily herself did something wrong. Lily felt herself going red. "Mulciber, let's not pretend that your dad didn't have to bribe half of your teachers to allow you to stay in school past first year so we'll see who the "real wizards" are, and Avery… your stinking Slytherin friends might not be aware of the blood status of the girl you meet up with every Wednesday in the old Defence room, but I do. And if any of you or ANYONE in this room or world for that matter, feels like belittling or insulting the very AIR that Lily Evans breaths with your existence, you better damn well be a lot nicer to her than you are," James Potter finished. He'd walked farther into the bar now – Lily couldn't help but be reminded of one of the cowboy films, where the Sheriff comes to the aid of the Damsel in Distress. Except she wasn't a damsel in distress – she was a witch – and had she been less upset about the reaction of Severus Snape to her insult, then she may have hexed the lot of them.

The Quidditch captain kept eye contact with the tallest of the group, who happened to be Rosier. The other boy sized him up, but he was at least an inch shorter than the marauder, who had a death gaze in his eye and his wand twitching in his hand. Then Sirius appeared behind his friend, his own wand held ready. Lily didn't know where Marlene was, but in that second she was so thankful at the boys she could've kissed them.

It was only when Remus shuffled over from his booth by the window, leaving a shocked and scared looking Emmeline sat with a timid Peter Pettigrew that the tension diffused.

"That's enough James," he whispered to his friend. "Can't lose Hogsmeade privileges… we have research to do," but no one other than James and Sirius heard him. James dropped his shoulders, pocketed his wand and pulled Sirius back. The bar took a second for itself and then returned to its jaunty nature, leaving Severus Snape looking at Lily Evans, red with embarrassment. She wished she could have convinced herself that it was rage, but denial wasn't becoming her that day.

"I'm sorry Lil, that should've been me… to stand up for you…" he dropped his head. Lily didn't know where to look. She tried to look into his eyes, but they were vacant – they looked to her but didn't see a thing. Lily wanted to hit him for his stupidity. She wanted to scream 'Of course it should've been you Sev! You're my best friend!' but she didn't. She merely took in a lungful of air, and exhaled the embarrassment and pain from her system.

"Go see your friends. I think I'll go and find Marlene…" and she headed for the door, unable to stay in the room for too much longer. Severus contemplated going after her, the look on her face had been so raw – and that was his fault. She walked away, her back to him and her head not looking back. He would've followed, and maybe that would've changed everything in the whole world? But as he looked towards Mulciber and the other Slytherin boys, who challenged him with their eyes, the half-blood prince knew his place. In fact – he was too preoccupied with his own troubles that he didn't see James Potter and Sirius Black follow the girl out of the bar.

Lily was glad that everyone was too busy with their Valentine's Day fun to bother visiting the Shrieking Shack. People only really did visit it around Halloween, on their first visit and if they were really, really bored. There was a giant stone at the top of the clearing from which you could see the shack. She sat on it, with her head in her hands, trying not to sob.

"It should've been you, Sev," she thought hoarsely. "You should've said something, you should've followed. You were my friend!" Tears were threatening in her eyes, but she tried not to think of the boy. Images of a green park, lying and staring at the clouds broke her clarity of mind. She recalled how Severus had sent her a flower flying across the air, and how he'd comforted her worries that people wouldn't like her because she was a muggleborn. So much so was her misery that she didn't hear the footsteps until the voices that spoke a little louder than they should have started.

"So we've almost perfected the Animagus, we've got a bit of work to do for Peter, but then we'll be here every month chasing you around and pretending…" James went silent. He realised the volume at which he was speaking. He assumed the shack viewing point would be empty - it was normally only visited by each student once on their first trip to Hogsmeade, and he certainly hadn't expected Lily Evans to be sat, red eyes looking up at him wildly. Sirius looked at Remus who had gone very white, and Peter looked at the floor silently. James stepped forwards.

"Lily," he said softly. He wasn't sure if he wanted to check if she was alright or what she had heard, but she saved him the trouble.

"Don't worry - I already know," she said with a hiccup. Rubbing her eyes and taking a nice long breath she smiled at Remus.

"Know what? What's to know? Nice day…" James stopped.

"I know where Remus goes when his mother is ill. I know he's a werewolf," she added the last bit a lot quieter. She was sensible, James noted, they all appreciated her sense.

"How long?" It was Lupin that asked. His eyes had taken a beady outlook, and his skin had paled severely. He was worried – Lily noticed – Silly boy.

"Since first year," she said proudly, her eyes brightening up with pride. "I was doing a bit of light reading around June, you were looking peaky, your mother was ill, and in astronomy we were charting the moons stages. It was a simple matter of two and two equals werewolf,"

"Oh Lily," Remus started, stepping past James to get closer to Lily. "I'm so sorry!"

"Remus, it's fine. I don't care. I'm a… a mudblood, what do I care about "purity of blood"?" James wanted to run up to her and breath in the smell of her apple shampoo, hold her close to him and squeeze that word out of her mind. But he didn't. It was Remus' turn to be comforted. Maybe Lily knowing would do him good – she was his friend after all - much more than she was James' friend.

"Lily, that's …."

"Oh Remus, like James said, Mulciber has the brain of a sparrows nest, and Avery blew up his first wand two years ago. They are hardly superior to us," Lily said with proper Evans' pride, causing James to smile.

"I'm sorry for lying to you," Remus said, his head bowed.

"Don't be dim, Remus. Of course you had to. You wouldn't know how I'd react," Lily excused him.

"You sat with me – you knew the whole time and you sat with me and let me comfort you," Remus said.

"Of course I did, you're my friend, Remus. Friends don't care about one another's blood,"

"Why didn't you tell me you knew?" Remus asked sadly.

"I never saw it as an issue. I just always made sure my notes were as detailed as possible whenever you were away, and not to shout too loudly at Potter before and after the full moon," Remus let this hang in the air, before he ran forwards and enveloped the wonderful witch in the hug that was meant to be James'. He felt a pang of jealousy in seeing his friend hold Lily Evans, but he stayed silent, looking at Sirius with a quick shrug that said "girls, eh?" When Remus was done, he smiled apologetically at both Lily and James and shuffled back to where he'd been standing.

"What I didn't know…" Lily started. "Was that you three were animagi. I should've guessed actually…"

"Oh we're not," Sirius half-lied.

"Not yet," James corrected. He didn't want to lie to Lily anymore. Not being around her was so exhausting and even if what they were doing was dangerous and illegal and she was a rule-abiding ninny, he needed her to know this one little thing about him. She'd taken the Remus news well, and of course he wanted to show off to her a little.

"Oh?" she challenged the latter boy.

"We need to perfect it, but we've taken form a few times," James boasted.

"You marauders!" Lily gasped and for a second James thought she was going to run off screaming to Dumbledore. But instead there was an added laughter in her smile. "People think you're so damn mysterious. I bet if they knew the truth they'd be completely shocked. You're more of an enigma the more you know!" James smiled at her. "So Potter, what's _your_ form?" He wasn't sure if he wanted to answer her.

"A stag," He said quietly. Lily looked at him with the same raw expression she'd held down in the pub – she was looking at him, for the first time in over a year – and now she saw him. She saw the regal king of the forest, mischievous but mostly well meaning. Then she remembered her promise to Severus – she had promised she would no longer be friends with James Potter. But then again, somewhere along the line he'd probably promised not to let his friends call her a mudblood and to be a good chum and stand up for her, so the moral high ground was still hers.

"Like your patronus?" she asked. James stopped dead, the spark of laughter stopped in his eyes momentarily.

"How do you know what my patrnous is?" Lily blushed, but turned to the other boys.

"Sirius?"

"A dog," he had a giant grin on his face. Obviously – man's best friend, the loyal but vicious toothed friend that Lily had always known him to be. She could've guessed.

"Figures," the girl laughed in response. Sirius barked with laughter – even his laughter made sense now.

"Peter?" Peter looked shocked that Lily had addressed him and mumbled:

"Rat" he said. Lily didn't really like this – she'd never _really_ been close to Peter, but there was something about him that she didn't understand. She put it down to shyness, and being overshadowed by Potter, Black and Lupin.

"You are all a lot smarter than people give you credit for," Lily considered quietly. It was true – grown wizards found trouble becoming animagi – and here were three fourth years who had almost perfected it.

Lily stood shakily and straightened her skirt. Her hair was pulled into a side plait, and she was wearing her green blouse that made her eyes look like emeralds. She looked lovely, James noted regretfully. Especially now that she wasn't on the arm of -

"Where's Snivellus?" James asked her. Her face blushed red and turned paler than normal.

"He's with some friends…" she mumbled, and James knew at once who those friends were. He really wanted to hex that slimy git.

Sirius looked sad. He'd always liked Lily. Whether it was the fact that James spoke about her like she was the saint of the universe, or the most beautiful woman in existence, or the fact that she never objected to lending him her History of Magic notes just before an exam, but he had always liked Lily Evans, and thought that there were definitely worse people his best friend could obsess over - even if it was for 4 years. No one; especially not someone who would be totally calm about Remus' condition, should be called that word.

"Snape's a git, Lily," he said.

"He's a good person!" Lily fought, somewhat less sure of herself than before.

"But does he know which side he's on?" Sirius asked.

"He'll choose the right side when it matters…" Lily said, wholly sure of her best friend. It took her 17 years to be right, but in the end she was – in the end Severus Snape gave his life for the just cause.

"Where're you off to now Evans?" James asked, quickly changing the topic of conversation.

"I was going to head back to the castle," she said. "I wanted to get some Defence questions done before next lesson,"

"Oh yeah, me too," James replied almost too quickly.

"Hey! I thought we were going to Zonkos!" Sirius argued, but Peter nudged him in the ribs. "Oh. WE'RE going to Zonkos. James needs to do that… Defence research," James was glad he wasn't a blusher. He stood there coolly looking down at Lily, who smiled up at him.

"I'll walk you there?" Lily nodded. She went to turn down the hill to head back to the castle but James caught her arm. "Don't worry - I know a short cut. And we most certainly won't meet any Slytherins this way, so you don't have to worry about your precious Severus seeing us together"

James shot an apologetic look at his three friends, who trudged off into the village without him. Sirius had a smile plastered on his face, whereas Remus was contented. Peter followed after Sirius, whispering about James and Lily. James gave a half smile to Lily and then, he climbed the fence that guarded off the viewing area from the Shrieking Shack. "We're going in there?" she asked, appalled.

"Trust me, it's safe. Unless it's a full moon, which it's not for another 8 days" so they trekked the five minute hill down to the creaking house, where James opened the door, and let her in first. She laughed, and fell silent again. Sev would be mad if he knew she was with Potter in the shrieking shack of all places. She pushed Severus out of her mind – he was the reason she was here with the present company after all.

"Just through here" Potter said, pushing another door open. This room was obviously the living room, which had a fireplace that was scratched up and destroyed, and a small wooden chair that had been gnawed.

"Was this Remus?" she said, bending to get a closer look at the bite marks. There was old blood dried into the floorboards and Lily felt sick in her stomach.

"Yes, you can see why we want to help him, right?" if she hadn't before, she certainly did now.

"Of course, he shouldn't deal with this alone…" she replied quietly.

"So you won't tell anyone that we've illegally become unregistered animagi and that we leave the school after hours every month?" James sounded concerned. He was aware that Lily liked rules - a lot.

"I'm not saying I agree with the rule breaking, but… it's Remus. The guy COMBS his hair!" She screamed with an outburst. James knew exactly what she meant. Remus Lupin (had he not been attacked by a werewolf all those years ago) would have grown up, been the model student he already is, be head boy, be happily married and become the minister for magic, changing the world for the better. But Remus Lupin may never get to do any of those things, James worried. His best friend was in for hell when he left Hogwarts - more so than anyone else.

"Down here" James loosened the handle, and opened the door that led to the hidden corridor they would be taking. He walked through first, muttering Lumos and lighting their way. He was quiet, and Lily was fine with that, as she followed him through the dimly lit cave. For five minutes they stayed like that, walking forwards, barely acknowledging one another until:

"Thank you," Lily Evans said inaudibly. She hadn't planned on saying it – but then again it was something that needed to be said.

"Hmm?" James asked.

"Thank you for earlier. For sticking up for me…" _It should have been me_, Severus' voice resounded in her head.

"No problem. You were right - blood means nothing to ability. You're the most fantastic…" he stopped short. Had he turned around he would have seen a blushing Lily, who was stuttering to think of a remark.

"What about Charlotte?" Lily said, but regretted it instantaneously. James did turn then – he had a strange grimace on his face that Lily didn't understand.

"Lottie is… good company, sometimes," James excused her. "I know she's not the nicest person in the world, and she's not wholly smart… but not everyone can be you, Lily," she blushed again, and hoped the darkness of the passage was enough to cover it. "You know, I don't think I ever thanked you for my Christmas present last year," he said. Lily laughed. They started walking again.

"Oh, it's okay. I just wanted to make up for the book," a beat of silence. "I've seen you wearing it around Hogwarts. It makes me happy. It looks good on you,"

"Thanks," James smiled, "Honestly, I didn't think you noticed me at all these days. I figured you just hated me too much,"

"I never hated you. I mean, that's not to say I don't dislike the things you do, and your methods of doing them. But…"

"But?"

"Severus killed a cat, and I was really upset, and everything was changing, and I thought he was going to become a death eater, and I figured that I might be the only one to change his mind. I know it's stupid and ridiculous – not one person could change something so fundamentally wrong about another person, but I had to try. And the only way he'd even talk to me was if I promised to never talk to you – I had to hate you. I was pretending most of the time. Sometimes, you really did push it too far, but then you go and do things like you did today and I just wonder why I'm even bothering to try to dislike you,"

"Severus killed a cat?" James asked after a second of overwhelmed silence.

"Last year – he invented a spell, and tried it out on a cat. I heard the Black sisters talking about it,"

"And you promised Snape that you'd stay away from me?" James asked, both hurt and amused.

"I know it's stupid but I had to try…."

"That was the day you found out about me and Lottie," James pointed out.

"I suppose so, yes,"

They reached the end of the passage way when James' foot found some roots. He found a long stick and pressed a knot in the bark, making the whomping willow go still above their heads. Lily had never known it still. Turning to look at her, James smiled. She hadn't shouted at him once for rule breaking.

"I've changed since then, you know," James lied.

"James…" Lily started. They were very close together, now, as the passage had thinned, so there was barely enough room for one person to walk. Holding herself against the wall, Lily felt a lump in her throat.

"It's been a while since you've called me James, you know," The boy smirked, pushing his hand through his hair. They were whispering now, despite the fact that no one was around. "Lily…" she liked the way he said her name, softly. Not the normal arrogance that echoed when he shouted "EVANS, GO out with me!" down the corridor. Her heart fluttered, and she thought of Severus. He was probably off with his house-mates insulting her. And here was James Potter - the boy whom she hated and screamed at bi-daily, he had stood up for her. She'd never seen him so angry, not when someone hexed him from behind in third year, not when she shouted at him, not when McGonagall had given him a weeks of detentions for some silly prank. Her breathing partially stopped, the air in the musky ground stealing oxygen, and making her head fuzzy when-

He leaned in. James Potter had one arm against the wall above her shoulder, keeping him steady, and he moved closer to her, carefully studying her reaction to him. Her heart beat louder, so loud he could hear it, her eyes grew larger, but fluttered shut at the same time, her lips twitched as they waited for his. Then he closed the gap. He made a sound in his throat, which had been waiting there for four years, since he saw her on the train – a sound that meant 'I'm kissing you, and in this second I know you want to kiss me too,' He took his hand from the wall and put it in her hair, feeling the silkiness of it. His heart (unlike hers which beat like a drum) had shuddered to a stop, only to beat again when he pulled away and smiled.

"Happy Valentine's Day," he said, leaning in, once more for the kill.

**September 2nd 1978**

_Severus Snape looked down at the daily prophet. He'd read the same article five times, but it hadn't sunk in. Looking down at the image of faces smiling out at him - some he recognised some he wished he didn't - the words finally seemed to take shape into a sentence, and the sentence into truth. Yesterday, James Alexander Potter married Lily Louise Evans at Gryffindor's church in Godric's Hollow. The pair will be traveling to France for their honeymoon. The man screwed the smiling, kissing faces up in his hands and threw it into the waste bin. It should have been me, Severus thought, grabbing his wand and leaving the room in Spinner's end. He had a meeting to attend._

**Fourth Year – February 14th**

James Potter lay in bed unable to refuse his smile. He was lying in his pyjamas on top of his quilt listening to his four roommates' heavy and uneven breathing. He knew those sounds – it was the music of a sleepless night, and James Potter had lived through his share of sleepless nights. As it was right now, he never wanted to sleep again. He wanted to jump onto his broom, fly over the mountains and the lakes, soar through the clouds and scream the words "SHE KISSED ME BACK!" Lying there; the memory still fresh on his tingling lips, James Potter thought he knew happiness.

From his vantage point on his bed he saw the stars above the castle and wondered if she was looking at them too. Maybe she was lying in bed, thinking the exact same thing as he. Maybe this was it - maybe _this_ was the day he got Lily Evans.

She had kissed back. He reminded himself, the adrenaline coursing through his veins with the mere thought of that kiss. She hadn't pushed him away. That was something, he told himself. She hadn't screamed, or said "James," in the way that he'd expected her to. She hadn't even laughed in his face. She had let him kiss her, and she had kissed back. Lily Evans had kissed him back.

With covers over her head and the curtains on her four poster bed shut tightly, Lily was completely bemused as to why she couldn't fall to dreams. Of course, she wasn't _completely_ clueless - James Potter had kissed her. She tried to repress the thought, but it attacked her in tides. He had kissed her and she hadn't pushed him away and called him an idiot. Of course it wasn't her first kiss with the boy- that had been a much ghastlier experience all together. She thought of Sev and his reaction the last time – how he'd made her promise to stay away from James Potter. She thought of how Sirius had requested that she wouldn't string him along, and how she had agreed, thinking it an easy task to hate him. But the thing was – Lily realised – that as more time went on, and the more she tried to hate him, the more impossible it was to avoid the boy.

And she wasn't overly sure that she even wanted to.

Accepting the fact that sleep couldn't override the image of Potter towering above her, she pushed the sheets off her and made for the common room. She spotted the grandfather clock - it was 3 am and she wasn't even slightly sleepy, so she grabbed her school bag from the desk she had left it on two days previously and removed a defence book. She had been attempting to perfect her patronus - something she'd been dying to do since she'd caught Potter gallivanting with his own. But now her thoughts were back on James.

A happy memory - She racked her brain. Perhaps the memory of when Severus had told her she was magic, or when she got her Hogwarts letter, or when she'd been sat on the boat and seen this castle for the first time. Or the many nights spent up late in their dorms chatting with the four of them about boys, and magic, and music. She pondered which would be most effective.

Bringing up the memory in the park with the towering oak tree, and the small pond at the bottom of the hill, where her and her best friend sat discussing the magical things they had both done without meaning to. How Severus had enchanted a leaf to fly to her, how she made the daisies bloom. Closing her eyes she said a hopefully quiet "Expecto Patronum", but as had always happened nothing but a wisp of blue smoke came from her wand. She picked out another memory. Sitting on the rickety boat with Severus, the rain falling in her hair, looking up and seeing the many thousands of stars that she could have never imagined, and her first glance at the castle where she found herself home. "Expecto Patronum" she repeated, and again nothing happened.

"What's the memory?" a familiarly daunting voice sounded softly behind her. Wincing, Lily turned to see a very topless James Potter sauntering towards her. He ran his hand through his hair and smirked. "What's the happy memory?"

"Well, I tried the day I met Severus, and how he had told me I was a witch. That was the first day I'd controlled my magic…" she confessed.

"You controlled magic before you got your wand?" James sounded genuinely impressed. Even most of the children from wizard families couldn't do that.

"Occasionally. But then I tried the memory of when I first saw Hogwarts, and when…"

"It was raining, and you told Sniv…Sev that you'd never seen that many stars at home, but you still knew them all by name, and how your face dropped when you saw the castle…" Lily stopped. She stopped breathing, stopped thinking, and stopped hating James Potter for one minute.

"Yes. Yes, but that didn't work either…" she said coolly after managing to collect herself.

"Well, look at this," James said proudly, pulling out his own wand from his trouser pocket. The "Expecto Patronum," he whispered was barely audible, whereas Lily found it hard to achieve the spell whilst shouting it. His eyes (red from lack of sleep, but smiling none the less) didn't move from hers. This was probably a new level of arrogance, Lily assumed. But then from his wand shot a stag; a magnificent creature, who was elegant and strong. It looked so real, wrapped in a whisper of blue light.

"It's pretty fantastic," Lily admitted.

"His name is Prongs," James told her coolly, letting the stag dance around her. She laughed.

"Hence the stupid nick names?" Lily asked.

"Hey! The marauders don't have stupid nick names," James replied defensively, perching on the edge of the study desk. With a flick of his wand Prongs was gone.

"You call yourselves the marauders!" the girl pointed out, sitting on the edge of the couch now that the stag had gone.

"If I recall it was _you_ who came up with that name," James laughed. He didn't know why they couldn't always be like this - why did she always have to reject him?

"Oh, well then I'm to blame for all of your sins," Lily joked.

"That much was evident from the start," James replied in barely a whisper.

"Potter," Lily warned.

"Why with the Potter, really Lily? Today you kissed me!" She was hoping he wouldn't bring that up.

"No, _you_ kissed me!" she clarified falsely.

"You kissed back!" he shouted now, totally unaware that Sirius was at the top of the staircase listening in on the pairs conversation. Why did she have to make things so bloody complicated?

"Potter, I hardly think…" she started, but he interrupted.

"Don't worry yourself Evans," he said the last word bitterly, "It was only a kiss," and with that he left Lily sitting in the common room wondering what the bloody hell just happened.

She had about an hours sleep in total, but had made no progress on her Patronus. In fact, she couldn't even bring the blue mist about, and had given up in favour of reading up on the potion they would be preparing the next afternoon. At some point after 5:43 she had fallen asleep on the fluffy couch by the fireplace, and awoke in the morning with a blanket over her after half of the Gryffindors had gone down to breakfast. It was probably Marlene, Lily presumed.

Down at breakfast Lily was horrified to see all of her friends sitting with the marauders. Luckily, however James was not present. Taking a seat besides Mary and taking a piece of toast, Lily avoided the eyes of Remus and Sirius, who somehow always knew what she was thinking. Part of the Marauder enigma, she guessed. Shame it didn't rub off on…. but no, she wasn't going to think about _him_ today.

"So Sirius, where's James?" Marlene asked sweetly, with no thought to Lily's predicament. In her fairness none of them actually knew about the kiss, so she couldn't be completely blamed for her careless actions. She just wished that her own friends had the horribly insightful understanding that the marauders seemed to display every single day.

"I don't know, maybe you should ask Lily?" Sirius smirked. There they go again –Lily thought.

"Why Lil?" Marlene questioned, her mind obviously jumping to the worst (and correct) conclusion. She hoped (for James' sake) that he hadn't told his fellow marauder about what had happened beneath the whomping willow.

"I heard them having a lovers tiff in the very early hours of this morning. I myself just wanted a snack from the kitchens," Sirius admitted, whilst stuffing his face with toast.

"At Three AM, really Sirius?" Lily laughed. No matter how utterly hopeless and tactless he was, Sirius Black had an endearing compassion about him. "And anyway, I couldn't sleep and was practising a charm, James thought he knew better as always, and starting being an arrogant git. So yes, we had a fight, but not a lovers tiff," she felt herself going red and cursed her pale skin. Sirius raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. If he wasn't lying and he'd heard their argument then he knew the truth. He knew about the kiss.

"That explains why he was in such a foul mood this morning. He almost punched a first year in the common room for asking him the time. In fact… that looks like his work there," Sirius pointed to a figure that had just entered the great hall looking more solemn than normal.

"SEV!" Lily exclaimed and jumped out of her seat. She was at a fast walk when she intercepted her friend and pulled him immediately out of the great hall. "Sev! Who did this to you?" The 'this' in question was a purple eye that seemed to be bruising quite horrifically. In her worried haste she barely remembered the events of the day before. When she did remember she wondered if Sirius had been wrong and it was actually Rosier and his cronies' work.

"Who do you think Lily?" Severus growled bitterly, not making eye contact. "Where'd you head off to yesterday?" Hell - she'd figured their day was over.

"I thought you would have wanted to spend time with your little Slytherin friends, so I headed home," Lily said in a half truth.

"Really? Because I heard Sirius Black shouting in raised voices about how Potter might actually get his way with the lovely Lily Evans! Admit it, you went on the date with him," Severus was angry now, and Lily wasn't wholly sure it was due to the mark Potter had apparently given him.

"I did _not_ go on a date with him. He needed to do some homework, and I was heading back, so we walked together!" she screamed indignantly.

"Since when does Potter do homework?" Severus spat angrily.

"I don't know Sev! Maybe he's growing up? And since when did we fight over what Potter -" but she was cut short by a pair of lips pushing against her own. Stuttering she flailed for a bit and pulled back. Sev certainly didn't look pale and sickly anymore - his face was blushing red as many of the students leaving the great hall catcalled. Lily was slightly flustered - why did everyone seem to be kissing her? It just wasn't on.

"Sev…" Lily began; but he stopped her talking again.

"Never mind, Lily. I'm sorry," he said picking his bag from the floor and storming off.

"I really wish people would STOP DOING THAT!" Lily called to no one in particular. Wildly looking around the filling hallway for an escape route, Lily saw James rooted to the spot about 30 yards away. His eyes were wide and his face flax of emotion. "Oh, shut up Potter!" and this time it was her chance to storm away before he could make some sort of greasy-kissing-boyfriend joke.

James watched her storm off, he hair billowing around her angry face as she went. He wanted to run after her – he wanted to ask her _what the bloody hell that was about? Did she really believe she could just play them off against each other?_ Of course she didn't – he thought numbly. _She doesn't want you to play, Potter._ He wanted to head butt a wall, but his leaden heart had sunk to his feet and weighed him down, unable to move.

"James, I've reconsidered, and I think you can be my boyfriend again," Charlotte said, appearing in front of him. "What's wrong? You look like you've been hit with a bludger,"

"I have been," James said. "So you've reconsidered?"

"Yes," Charlotte said. She was pretty, he thought. Her hair had grown out and she'd gotten in back to its natural chocolate colour – he'd kissed her a million times. "How about it?"

"I think you might want to reconsider your reconsideration," James said harshly.

"What? Why?" the girl demanded to know.

"I spent yesterday with Lily Evans, and we kissed," he said. Charlotte looked like she'd been slapped.

"You kissed Lily Evans? When we were together?"

"Technically, no – you broke up with me. And she bloody well kissed me back, no matter how much she denies it,"

"I'm going to kill her," Charlotte growled. "What a slag! She was on a date with Snape yesterday!"

"Apparently it didn't go so well – what with him letting his friends call her a…,"

"Mudblood?" James nodded. "Well, she is one," Charlotte said sassily.

"Okay, I'm done with this conversation now,"

"You can't-"

"Bye Lottie!" he called, and walked off into the Great Hall. There he sat with Sirius who was snogging Marlene, Remus who was chatting with Emmeline, Donna who glared at him, Mary who was telling Peter that he shouldn't wear yellow, because it really didn't suit him. James sat miserably and stared at the half eaten croissant opposite him.

"Donna," he said glumly. She jumped – unable to recall a time that James Potter had ever personally addressed her. "You have charms next, right?" the girl nodded. "Can you take a few croissants and give them to Lily. She didn't eat enough and she'll be cranky all morning if you don't,"

"Right… yeah – sure," Donna muttered, surprised by his thoughtful behaviour.

"Thanks. Oh, and don't tell her I told you to – play the caring friend card or something?"

Lily was running slightly late for charms, but it was okay because Professor Flitwick thought her the best thing since invisibility cloaks. She ran forwards, and darted around the corner from the Gryffindor common room and BAM- she collided with a solid object. It was James.

"Potter, go…"

"I'm sorry," a small and girlish voice spoke over her.

"Potter?" she asked, jumping back to look at him. He looked different – he wasn't wearing glasses, which was a shame, because she rather liked the glasses. His robes also looked very tight on him, and his nose was a litter larger than normal. However, these things she might've missed, but it was the eyes – they were brown. James Potter's eyes went beyond being brown – they had these mysterious little specs of gold and yellow, like honey dripping into them. They were fierce and strong, but these eyes were brown and timid. "You are not James Potter," Lily said eventually.

"I'm sorry!" the voice squeaked again. "I'm sorry, Lily, but it's the only way!"

"Lily? How do you know who I am?" Lily demanded. "This can't be Polyjuice potion – it'd be perfect. Maybe transformation? No, that's impossible… how are you doing this?" Not-James smiled meekly in front of her and then his hair reddened and spurted from his scalp, growing at the speed of light. His face moulded and the eyes turned from brown to green, his figure shrinking, the robes befitting the new figure much better. Stood in front of Lily Evans was Lily Evans. Finally she understood "You're a metamorphmagus!" Lily 2 nodded. "Can I see your real face?"

Suddenly the change happened again – once more the girl shrunk to a much smaller figure. The robes were slightly too large now, but the eyes turned into a purple haze. There was depth to them now, and Lily realised that this must be the real metamorphmagus. It was a first year, which explained why Lily didn't know who it had been, but she was a Gryffindor (or at least the robes indicated such a thing). She had longish black hair, the completely void-of-colour of James' hair, she was tiny and pale, and looked up worriedly at the fourth year girl.

"What's your name?" Lily asked, with a smile.

"Ophelia Finnley," the girl said. Lily remembered her from the sorting in September. She _was_ a Gryffindor.

"That's quite an impressive skill you have there, Ophelia," Lily said kindly. The girl blushed.

"Thank you," Ophelia squeaked.

"Can I ask why you were disguised as Potter?" Lily enquired.

"I…" the girl went bright red. "I often do," she admitted.

"Why?" questioned Lily.

"I… some of the other kids think I'm a little bit weird…" Lily understood. James' voice rang through her head _'You've never wanted to disappear from a room without people knowing where you've gone?' _Lily had already shown just days after he asked her that this was the case, and she had done so with a giant explosion of smoke. To be able to do it quietly – to appear as someone who was adored by the entire school? Of course she understood.

"Oh! Where're you meant to be?" Lily asked the girl.

"Potions, I got lost," she fumbled. "I know I shouldn't because it's been so long but…"

"Don't worry! Slughorn loves me, I'll escort you!" Lily offered. She turned on her heel and gestured for the little Metamorphmagus to follow her lead.

"You don't have to…" Ophelia said. "You probably have better things to do!" Lily felt unsure. Did she have better things to do? Just a second ago she was sure she wanted to help the younger girl, but something stopped her – doubt. She looked to the younger student with a smile and shook off the feeling.

"It's fine, Ophelia. So when did you find out about your skill?"

"My mum and dad always knew. My parents are both magical," Ophelia said. "Though my dad is a muggleborn,"

"I bet it came as a surprise when you started turning yourself purple?" Lily laughed.

"Yeah – they thought I had an incurable case of jaundice for a while, but then I made my hair grow really long in the space of five minutes and they knew. They didn't find out about how I…" but the girl stopped dead in her tracks.

"How you do what?" Lily asked politely.

"I…" the girl started.

"Never mind – it's fine," Lily said. "You don't have to tell me. Do you want to hear a joke?" the younger girl nodded, grateful for the diversion. "How many purebloods does it take to change a light bulb?"

"I don't know…"

"What's a light bulb?" the small girl burst into hysterical laughter. Lily herself didn't find the joke so funny, but at the girl's reaction she was engrossed with the hilarity of it. She couldn't stop herself laughing. She found it hard to breathe, like she was literally drowning in laughter. At Lily's reaction, the first year stopped and looked upon her worried. Within an instant Lily's happiness had gone and she was filled with dread.

"I'm sorry!" Ophelia squeaked.

"Why on earth would you be sorry?" Lily asked, her sadness evident on her face.

"I… I'm a freak,"

"No, no – you're not," she laughed off her self-depreciation.

"I… Dumbledore doesn't even know how I do it," Ophelia said saly.

"Do what?" Lily asked, sad, worried and lost.

"I manipulate what people feel," Ophelia admitted. "Not on purpose! It's uncontrollable,"

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"You're feeling worried now aren't you? And sad?" Lily nodded. "That's because_ I_ am worried, and sad, that you'll think I'm a freak too! Everything I feel excess of… people nearby do, too," Lily thought about it, but it made sense – when she'd told the joke she had been consumed by the giggling laughter of an 11 year old girl.

"That's incredible!" Lily exclaimed. At her own words, she felt a great relief – but she knew it wasn't her own.

"You think so?" Ophelia asked, glumly.

"Of course - You're completely unique," Lily said to her.

"I know – it's the worst thing in the world," Ophelia said. "I can't even control it!"

"Hey, Ophelia Finnley – you have nothing to worry about. It's not too bad," Lily smiled. "We're here," Lily looked down to the first year, who gave a small smile. Knocking on the door, Lily popped her head through the gap in the door and smiled. "Professor Slughorn, Ophelia got a little bit lost, sorry she's late!"

"Oh Lily, you angel!" Slughorn praised her. Lily blushed and let Ophelia walk on through, with a comforting smile.

"Thank you," the girl mouthed to the fourth year.

She sprinted to the charms corridor and burst through the door to her lesson fifteen minutes late, huffing and puffing like she'd ran a marathon – it felt like she had.

"Sorry," wheeze "I'm" wheeze "Late" wheeze "Professor" wheeze "I" wheeze "helped" wheeze "a lost" wheeze "first year" wheeze.

"Well Miss Evans, take a seat – before you collapse," Flitwick smiled chirpily. "We're working on summoning spells this lesson," Lily brightened up – summoning spells were her favourite, laziness technique.

She fell into her seat beside Emmeline and Donna who gave her a curious look. Flitwick continued and then finished his introduction to "accio" and told them all to partner up. Emmeline worked with Marlene, and Lily with Donna. Her stomach groaned – she hadn't eaten much at breakfast and the run had knackered her out.

Donna was looking over at James Potter who was mouthing something. Lily didn't want to see him – he looked enraged. Donna jumped and said "Oh Lil! I brought you some croissants from breakfast!"

"Donna! You absolute life saver!" Lily cried (a little too loudly, as Flitwick turned around to see the commotion) and threw herself into a hug with Donna Shacklebolt.

"It's nothing… I was just being a concerned friend," Donna excused herself. Lily spent the majority of the lesson munching on the five (FIVE) croissants that Donna had smuggled, and was finally feeling nice and full. When she noticed Professor Flitwick approaching them, Lily grabbed her wand, wiped the crumbs from her mouth and robes, and said "Accio pumpkin juice," loudly. She then jumped up, walked over to the door and opened it. It took a good few minutes (with many turned and chuckling heads) when a goblet of pumpkin juice appeared at the door. Lily caught it without spilling a drop and took a victory sip. Flitwick and the most of the class clapped her prowess. James Potter however had his head resting on the desk, muttering something that sounded to Sirius a lot like "stupid perfect life ruiner," and "she calls _me_ a show off!" Sirius laughed at his friend.

"Well done, Miss Evans! Impressive show! 20 points for Gryffindor," half of the room applauded again, whereas the Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs and Slytherins present didn't find that as clap-worthy.

"I hate her," James said for the thirty seventh time that day. Even Peter was bored with the conversation choice. Sirius had taken to reading Quidditch through the Ages instead of comforting his friend, and Peter completely zoned out doing his Care of Magical Creatures essay. "She chose Snivellus over me? And with a black eye and everything! I hate her," James paced back and forth through their dorm.

"Yes James we know. It's your move," Remus said bored of this one way conversation. He was going to have to choose another chess partner - but Sirius always cheated and Peter was not a big challenge.

"Knight to E5," he said dejectedly, without even looking at the board. "SNIVELLUS!" James roared, outraged. "She chose that greasy prat…"

"You don't know that," Remus said, moving his Queen to E5 and taking James' knight with a loud crash that was familiar with wizard's chess.

"Bishop to F7. Check mate" James said, again without looking at the board. Sure enough it was check mate, and Remus cleared the set away with a flick of his wand. "I saw her bloody well kissing him,"

"But she also kissed you!" Remus pointed out.

"No, I kissed her!" James mumbled.

"She kissed back," Sirius added.

"Apparently _that's_ not a very good argument," James said, deflating and falling back onto his bed. He pulled a piece of parchment from his drawers, as was his routine. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," He saw a little black dot marked Lily Evans in her bed. Everything looked perfectly normal, and he was about to have managed his mischief but something did, however catch his eye on the third floor, "Remus, Mulciber's out of his common room," he followed the little footprints with his eyes.

"James, don't. If you go after him…" Remus warned but to little avail. He knew James would be going to get vengeance on the boy for his words yesterday and the fact that there was risk made it all the more interesting for him.

"I've got the cloak. I'm going," he said, pulling his cloak from his trunk and hiding underneath it. "How did we all fit under this thing at one point?"

"No idea," Remus sighed.

"Want me to come?" Sirius asked.

"No – I've got to do this. Plus, two on one isn't really fair, is it?" James said. Sirius nodded, and watched the door open and close, as he heard footsteps walk away.

James found his target on the fifth floor, outside what James knew to be the room of requirement. He was pacing back and forth until a door appeared – James could only wonder what the boy wanted from a room. Intent on spying on Mulciber first, James ran as silently as possible toward him, who opened the door widely enough for him to slip in after. Sure enough - both boys' names disappeared from the map as they entered the unplottable room.

James tried to silence his breathing as he looked around the room. He'd never managed to plot this room to the map - it was a clever piece of magic that hid this room. However, he didn't need the map - James knew the names of almost everyone at once. The largest figure in the room was the seventh year Slytherin prefect - Lucius Malfoy. He had short whiteish-blondeish hair that looked like swan's feathers. He was the boyfriend of Sirius' cousin, and the chaser on the Slytherin team. Next to him was another Slytherin he didn't know by name, but recognised as another seventh year. There were five younger Slytherins in the room. Mulciber, who took the last available chair around the table at which they all sat, Avery the sorry excuse for a wizard who had insulted Lily just yesterday, a first year James almost thought was his best friend, due to the family resemblance, Lestat Rosier and Severus Snape.

James wanted to curse them there and then, but thought more wisely against it. These guys probably knew a lot about the dark arts.

"So this is everyone?" The nameless wizard hissed to Lucius. "A first year and four fourth years?"

"_They_ are the ones the dark Lord has requested," Lucius replied calmly. "I am in charge here Greengrass, you'd do well to remember that," Greengrass nodded and took his seat. "You may have different ideas about what it is the dark lord wishes from you all… but be aware - you will be a necessity to his plans."

The boys around the table were utterly hooked to Lucius' every word. He hissed every syllable, and James thought that the dark lord himself would be proud of his people skills. Instantly an image of Lucius Malfoy being interviewed by Voldemort popped into his head – both of them going over his impressive CV.

"When will we be marked?" Regulus, the youngest of the group asked. The excitement in his voice was palpable, and James wanted to punch the younger Black in the face.

"When you have proven yourself worthy of the Dark Lord's sign!" the prefect growled in return. "Our aim here at Hogwarts is to create a team of worthy blooded wizards, to have an inside on the school at all times. For the past year, that job has gone to myself and Malarky Greengrass, but the dark lord wishes to continue this lineage when we graduate - hence, the younger student. Regulus has also proven himself valiantly as it was he who set fire to the oaf Hagrid's hut last week,"

"What do we have to do?" Mulciber asked, itching for acceptance.

"You have each been assigned a task, as proof of your loyalties," at this point the blonde boy smiled, and James felt very uneasy. "Mulciber, as you are so enthusiastic you shall perform 'crucio' upon the professor of your choice. Needless to say, one of our 'group' must be there with you for this," Mulciber nodded, his face wide with excitement.

"Yes, Lucius," he said perversely.

"Avery, recent events have shone upon activities you enjoy with someone of a less than pure blood lineage. You may choose between Crucio and Imperio," Avery nodded in understanding, a sick smile plastered on his grim face. James felt a sudden sinking in his stomach – had it not been he who had outed the muggleborn girl upon whom he was to willingly perform an unforgivable curse?

"Black," James' heart leaped. "Your brother is a blood traitor. You will either convince him of his errors, or you will perform crucio – to show him that our side is the winning one. This may be harder for you, due to your age, but from what I hear it won't be the first time you have performed this certain curse…" James wanted to run and tell Sirius. His entire being called out for him to run to the other boy and not leave his side until he was safe. In a way, James looked at Regulus and felt envy at the first year – how did that scum have the right to call his best friend "brother"? If the title belonged to anyone, surely it would be himself?

Composing himself, James realised that he needed to calm down. If he wanted to run away from the Slytherin's meeting, the room might suddenly magic a door into existence, and this would not go unnoticed from them. James needed to be silent – the paragon of calmness. James stayed routed to the spot. "Rosier, you must (subtly) convince one more person to join our… group. One worthy person," Lestat smiled hardly, and nodded, again smiling. "This leaves Severus Snape. You shall join with Avery's task…"

"I don't need help, Malfoy!" Avery interrupted, his pride evidently bruised.

"No. _That's_ not what I meant, Avery. You shall have to become a better listener for when the Dark Lord speaks upon you. Snape has his own pet mudblood whom he must … punish," James couldn't stay still for a second longer –fuck being the paragon of calm, he was going to run to the Gryffindor common room and never let any of the people he cared about leave again.

Severus Snape was what James wasn't – the absolute serenity was evident on his face. He merely nodded – not with the sick joy that the others had, but he agreed. He accepted that he had to perform an unforgivable curse on Lily Evans. The thought that it might even be possible struck James to the core, he wanted to run away and curse every one of these boys. And here sat the perfect Severus Snape – the boy whom Lily Evans had stuck up for all these years, planning on hurting her (or worse, James added, but felt sick at the thought. Severus was a stupid and revolting creature, but would he stoop that low?).

It took another ten minutes for the meeting to end, and by that time James had formulated a plan. He needed to see Dumbledore tonight, and that was never going to happen unless he caused a lot of trouble. His plan was to get out of the room as quickly as possible, and run around making as much havoc and chaos as possible. He'd do something terrible, like hex Filch, so that Dumbledore would be called down. Then he would tell him. He had a list in his head: a list of the death eaters and their duties.

**Lucius Malfoy** – Create a team to intercept Hogwarts for the Voldemort  
**Malarky Greengrass** – Listen to Lucius Malfoy  
**Bertram Mulciber** – Perform an unforgivable curse on a professor  
**Emmanuel Avery** – Perform an unforgivable curse on Susie Hamilton  
**Regulus Black** – Convince Sirius Black to join the Dark side or perform the cruciatus curse  
**Lestat Rosier** – Get another member  
**Severus Snape** – Hurt Lily Evans.

As he repeated the list, over and over in his head, so they he would never forget it, people started to leave. Avery, and Mulciber left at the same time, Snape and Regulus after them, and the Rosier and Greengrass followed them. Lucius told them to go on - he'd only be a minute.

"Don't think I don't know you're here," his voice snarled unpleasantly into the empty room. James' heart rooted in his chest. "It'll take more than some silly disillusionment charm to get past me," he was walking around in circles, looking for a fault in the magic. Though James had every faith in his invisibility cloak, he couldn't help but twitch when the eyes of Lucius Malfoy met his own in the invisible air. Accepting defeat, Malfoy turned and left though the door.

James breathed a sigh of relief, still not moving in case someone had forgotten something. Five minutes passed. Ten minutes passed.

I need to save Sirius. I need to save Lily.

I need to save Sirius. I need to save Lily.

I need to save Sirius. I need to save Lily.

I need to save Sirius. I need to save Lily.

I need to save Sirius. I need to save Lily.

I need to save Sirius. I need to save Lily.

I need to save Sirius. I need to save Lily.

I need to save Sirius. I need to save Lily.

Creeping over to the door, he pushed it open ever so slightly and fell through the gap. Into the silence a voice screamed out "SECTUMSEMPRA!" James felt lightning pass through his body, and he fell to the floor in a pool of his own blood.

There was a ringing in his head and he felt like every one of his limbs had fallen off. That was funny - James thought - there wasn't a Quidditch match for another week. And yet there it was - the dull ache that rang inside his brain and the stinging of his body that pushed through the numbness. Attempting to open his eyes was a task in itself. They fluttered meekly, and when they did finally open everything was blurred. Feeling about for his glasses, James put them on and dragged himself into a sitting position. There was a green curtain around him, blocking his view from the rest of the room. Huh - James thought. I'm not in Slytherin.

Slytherin.

The meeting.

He'd heard a shouting of a word - a hex. But what was the word? It was nothing he'd ever heard before, and yet here was the proof that it existed. Him, lying in what he supposed was the hospital bed. Around him were many flowers, sweets, empty sweet packets, three chairs, but not a sign of a person in sight. James wondered if he should stand and go and find Healer Holloway, or call for someone, but decided against that. He needed a minute to get his head straight – to continue with his plan as before. He wondered how long he'd been out.

Ten minutes of reading through Get Well Soon cards from everyone from Vanessa Vane to Professor Flitwick, and the healer had come to check on him.

"You're awake, Mr Potter!" the cheery man said whilst plumping his pillows. "How're you feeling?"

"Brilliant I guess," James smiled and took a bite of a chocolate frog. "Starving," he admitted. The healer shut the curtain and James got a view of the entire room. The other beds were empty and outside the windows was dark. "I've missed a whole day?" James exclaimed, wanting to jump up. He wondered if he'd missed Quidditch practise! There was a Slytherin match in less than a week.

"You've missed a lot more than a day Mr Potter. It was a pretty nasty curse someone put on you. We had people in from Mungo's for a few days," The healer took a seat. "Listen James, no one knows what did this to you, but we're pretty sure it was a hex. Some very dark magic. Can you tell us anything about what happened?" James' mind was reeling.

"I need to talk to Dumbledore!" he said, that much he was clear of.

"I'm sure that I can deal with these matters just as well as Dumbledore could,"

"It's about Death-Eater activity within Hogwarts' walls," James added seriously.

Healer Holloway studied James and nodded. "Very well," he said and disappeared into his office. James didn't know how long the wait would be before Dumbledore would arrive, so he went back to reading his cards. Then he spotted it. Beneath a pile of Bertie Botts' Beans was a silver framed hand mirror. James picked it up and whispered 'Sirius Black' as quickly as possible.

"James!" the reply was immediate. Sirius had bags under his eyes and wild hair (more wild than usual in any case). "How are you?"

"Where's the cloak?" James said, ticking off his priorities.

"Lupin fetched it the second we found out what had happened. It's safe,"

"And what _did_ happen?" James quizzed him – Sirius would be more forthcoming with the truth than Holloway.

"No one knows. The… house elves found you outside the room of requirement lying in a pool of your own blood. Another four minutes and they think you wouldn't have made it. They called the three of us down immediately to see if we knew what kind of trouble you got yourself into," Sirius stopped for a second, "What _did_ you get yourself into? You were following Mulciber and you just…"

"I'll explain it when I'm back in the dorm. What day is it?" James asked quickly.

"It's the night of the 21st,"

"The match is tomorrow!" James hissed into the mirror. Sirius chuckled.

"Yes," his face turning to look sad, "We've been training that Robert Sheath as a chaser - you know, the third year who trailed last year? Just awful,"

"Good job I'm awake then," James said cheerfully. He may have missed practise but he'd still be fine. Nothing could stop James Potter playing Quidditch.

"DON'T OVER DO IT PRONGS!" a voice that sounded identical to Remus' called from somewhere in the distance of the mirror.

Ahem. Someone had coughed. James smiled at Sirius and put the mirror down.

"Lovely piece of magic, two way mirrors," Dumbledore said fondly. "Mr Black was very insistent on having that with you at all times. Especially since Healer Holloway refused to let him sleep here and wait for you all day," the old man smiled. "So you have something to tell me James?"

"Well, Professor… it's a little hazy. It's like one of those really vivid dreams that you wake up and you thought was real, but the images fall away whenever you touch them,"

"That'll be the memory charm," Dumbledore looked sad for the boy, and took a seat.

"Would you like a bean, sir?" James offered. Dumbledore shook his head, chuckling.

"I have had bad experiences of beans, Mr Potter. Can you tell me anything at all about what happened?"

"Well, I was angry sir," James started from where he guessed the trouble began.

"Why?" Dumbledore asked.

"Well…" James felt himself go red. He remembered why he'd been angry: The kiss under the whomping willow, seeing Snivellus kiss her as well. "Girl problems," he admitted.

"I see. If it'd make your mind at ease, Miss Evans has been down here every day since your accident. Though I'm sure that's not what you were talking about?" James smiled in response.

"This wasn't an accident sir, but thank you. Lily is a caring person, she'd do it for anyone," James said sadly.

"Perhaps," was all Dumbledore said on the matter.

"I was angry, and I wanted to get a headache potion…"

"James, there is no point in lying to me. It'll be a lot quicker if you tell me the truth,"

"I needed to take a walk, get out of the Common Room, so I headed around the castle, when I saw… a boy. A Slytherin I think. Maybe a fourth year. Dark hair? Or Blonde…. so I followed him to…" James remembered what Sirius had said, "The room of requirement. Do you know what that is sir?"

"I am aware of the come and go room, yes James," Dumbledore nodded.

"And I had a disillusionment charm on so he wouldn't see me, and I followed him in," as he spoke more of the events came back to him, "there were several people in there. Slytherins, I think. I heard them talking about tasks. They each had a task to complete. There was a list – I memorized the list,"

"Such as using unforgivable curses upon those they care about?" Dumbledore suggested sadly.

"YES! Yes sir! There were two in charge, who speak to the Dark Lord directly, and there were four… or five newbies, and they each had to do that. Cruci…" A chord struck in James – the most important thing in his core was to keep them safe. "SIR, Lily and Sirius are in danger! And other people too!" he didn't know how but he knew it. It was there in the back of his mind the whole time. The most important thing. The thing that caused the ringing in his ears.

"Mr Potter. I will tell you the events of what has occurred since your incident, if you tell me of the incident," Dumbledore bartered. James realised that Dumbledore must have some form on control on the situation, else he wouldn't have let this piece of information go by so quickly.

"Deal. So… I listened in, invisible all the while, and then they left. And I needed to keep Lily safe. I needed to tell Sirius and we could sort something out. I was going to find you! Make a load of noise so Filch would catch everyone out of bed in the corridors. But, as I was leaving. Bam. Then I suppose the house elves found me and brought me down here. I don't remember the curse, just know I didn't recognise it,"

"It was dark magic James. You wouldn't have known it," there was a sparkle behind Dumbledore's half-moon glasses when he said this. "Thank you for that, James. That's very useful,"

"So what's happened since…?" James asked quickly.

"Well, a fifth year Hufflepuff came out on the wrong side of the imperious curse, Professor Flitwick was attacked on one of his walks of the grounds with the cruciatus curse and we were none the wiser to the culprits. Mary Macdonald also faced this torture. However one Sirius Black was walking back from this very hospital wing, when he heard someone behind him, laughing at your condition. They raised their wand to start the Cruciatus, but Sirius very cleverly used a well learnt full body bind before the first year could even say Crucio. He sent a lovely patrnous to me informing me of the attack, and I found him in the middle of a sixth floor corridor sitting on the body of none other than Regulus Black. I spoke to the boy, who informed me that the previous unforgivable curses had been performed by ones Mr Mulciber and Mr Avery. We questioned the culprits and they admitted to the whole thing. They have both been expelled and have hearings with the Ministry of Magic accordingly,"

"So Lily's safe and unharmed?" James ensured.

"Yes, Mr Potter,"

"But what about the others? There were more than three of them!" James exclaimed.

"Unfortunately we only have that on your word. And though it might be the truth, you have been under a lot of stress in your mind – one may argue that you simply… dreamt it up," Dumbledore said sadly.

"Professor, that's stupid! I wouldn't…"

"I know James – it is simply the way things are," Dumbledore said softly. "But if you do manage to recall some of the other faces and names, then please – my office if always open to you. The password is mint humbugs!"

"Thank you, Professor," James said. Dumbledore stood, smiled at the boy and walked towards the infirmary door.

"You might also like to know that it was not the house elves that found you that night. It was her," he walked out of the room, leaving James with a smile that he wasn't convinced would go.

James managed (with his infinite charm) to convince Healer Holloway to let him leave the wing that night. Apparently he'd been under a sleeping potion for the last two days due to severe shock at losing _way_ too much blood, but he was otherwise in perfect health now. James had a few scars on his chest, which he wasn't too happy with, but he was otherwise feeling dandy. The first thing to do was to visit the kitchens and get something to eat. With his arms full of sweets and now sandwiches, James bid farewell to the house elves (who all wished him well) and headed up to the common room. It was very late - around two AM, so the castle was deserted, as was the common room - or at least at first sight.

Lying on the sofa nearest to the fire was a small figure. He'd seen this exact sight before, the day before his attack. She'd been sleeping there, wand tipping out of her open hand, peaceful. He'd put a blanket over her and gone to the owlery to send a letter to his parents. Walking towards her, he planned to do the same now, moving a blanket over her and removing the wand from her hand. Unfortunately the moment his hand made contact with the willow, green eyes shot open and she screamed "AVIS!" and a flock of birds shot out of the end of it, pecking him. "James!" she cried, bolting upright and with a flick of her wand the birds were gone. "I'm sorry! I thought you were attacking me!"

"Why would anyone be attacking you?" James soothed with a chuckle.

"Charlotte tried to a couple of days ago, which was scary. But yeah, everyone's been kind of jumpy since your attack," Lily admitted. James looked at her – she didn't look healthy. Her skin was paler than normal, her eyes were red, she looked too thin and even her hair wasn't as vibrant as normal. There was a cut down the side of her cheek – it was half healed but still red against her skin.

"She attacked you?" James asked, incredulously. The memory of his dumping her came to mind. "I'm sorry,"

"It's not me you should apologize to," Lily smirked. "Did you ever hear the phrase if you think I look bad, you should see the other guy?" James laughed. "How're you feeling?"

"Fine, I woke up about an hour ago, I was about to tell Sirius what happened. Why are you down here anyway?"

"Oh, well, Sirius told me you'd probably be up tonight, and I just wanted to make sure you were alright," she rubbed the sleep from her eyes, and spotted the pile of food and sweets he'd placed on the coffee table. "Hungry?"

"Well, I haven't eaten in a week apparently," James mumbled.

"You ate some. You woke up in a daze, you were actually quite nice," Lily laughed. "I'm surprised you don't remember…" she looked saddened by that.

"Oh Evans, you care!" he cried out.

"No," she retorted immediately. "I was just being a nice person; you should try it sometime. Anyway, I've been a nice person a lot, there's this kid I'm helping. And she doesn't think I care about her. But I do, but not you," she rambled.

"Me thinks the lady doth protest too much," Sirius said, strutting down the stairs in a large Beetles T-shirt and a pair of maroon trousers.

"What?" James asked.

"It's Shakespeare Prongs, try and educate yourself," Sirius laughed.

"Shakespeare?" James asked again, with the same dumbfounded expression. "Is that a fruit?"

"So what happened?" Sirius said, ignoring his friend, pushing Lily's legs off the couch and sitting down. He pulled the blanket over his legs. James fell into his favourite armchair and sighed.

"Long story, mate," the other boy laughed.

"I'll… go if you want?" Lily offered, realising that she might actually be interrupting.

"No, you found him, you should hear the story too," Sirius interjected.

"You told him?" she demanded, angrily.

"No, Dumbledore did – Sirius told me it was the house elves," James vouched.

"See! I can keep my word…" Sirius smirked.

"Shut up, I saved his life,"

"Yeah, about that…" James started. "Lily Evans, out of bed at night?" at this she blushed.

"I was looking for you in your dorm, and Remus told me you'd gone for a walk. I wanted to apologise for the… morning's events. Trust me that was not what you thought it was. And I waited down here until you got back, but it had been about an hour, and I started to get worried, so I found a draft of one of those map things you guys made and saw you the other three in their beds and you on the seventh floor. So I came and found you,"

"Did you see anyone else around? Walking away from me?"

"I'm sorry, Sirius already asked me. You guys had only plotted yourselves. There were no other students"

"How old _is_ that version?" James asked Sirius.

"We've plotted at least 80% of people now. Haven't had one with just the Marauders since half way through last year,"

"Where'd you get that, Evans?" James asked her.

"I found it in the bin last year and was curious. It seemed like a good bit of magic,"

"I TOLD Remus a password would be a good idea!" Sirius exclaimed.

"It saved your life didn't it?" Lily argued.

"I guess. Thanks for that," James said awkwardly.

"Don't mention it. Really, don't. And I'm sorry for… you know," and with that Lily walked up to her own dorm, stealing one look at an oblivious James Potter as she went.

"She was really mad at you at first. She made me promise not to tell you it was her that found you, and I caught her shouting at your comatose body. Something about being really selfish if you died, because she'd have to live with the fact that she was the last person you kissed," James found this hilarious.

"Classic Evans…" James chuckled, before he saw the severe look on Sirius' face.

"Seriously, Prongs. It was scary. Then you woke up for half a day and literally, spoke to her the whole time. She didn't even shout. You didn't bother even saying hi to us! You remember us right? Your friends!"

"Sorry, Mate," James apologized. "I don't even remember that,"

"Probably why Evans was so off," Sirius said.

"Oh, so you noticed it too?" James asked.

"Noticed what?" questioned his friend.

"How sick she looks? She looks like she hasn't had a good meal or a full night's sleep in a week!" James complained.

"Well, she _hasn't_," Sirius said. "She doesn't show up to breakfast or lunch, she spends ten minutes at dinner, then runs off to you, and Marley told me she keeps waking up with nightmares about finding you dead,"

"Oh Merlin, why didn't you stop her?" James demanded. Surely Sirius couldn't have been so stupid as to let her kill herself.

"You don't think we tried? Between worrying for you, trying to keep her alive, and training Robert Sheath, I've been run into the ground, mate. I thought you were dead," Sirius said, avoiding his friend's eyes.

"You're not the only one, apparently," James said. "Well done on catching Reg, though,"

"Well done? Really? You know mum is going to kill me in the summer right?"

"It must've been awful," James said.

"Well, it was always going to happen," Sirius said darkly. "Mum and dad have been pushing the whole blood purity non-traitor thing for four years now. I just wish… they'd have given him a chance. He's just a kid, you know? And he tried to do the cruciatus!" Sirius looked like a skeleton in the shadows of the fire. "I wonder, if I'd be like that. If I hadn't met you…"

"Sirius, you'd never be like that," James assured him.

"But you're the reason I wanted to be in Gryffindor so much! You're the one who made me think "wow, blood doesn't really matter that much," it's all because of you, Prongs. If I'd have been there for him…" Sirius stopped.

"He'd have gone bad anyway," James concluded. "Maybe there's still hope for him, Padfoot? Lily has been watching Snivellus wash away into the ether of the d…." James stopped. Snivellus. "Dark arts for years now, and she still thinks there's hope," there is no hope. **Severus Snape- Hurt Lily Evans**. It was on the list. "Listen, there's something I have to do,"

"Don't," Sirius said immediately. It was so out of character that James literally had to stop for a second. Why would Sirius Black tell him not to do something? Sirius Black was his partner in doing stupid things. "Last time you 'had to do something' and I didn't go with you, you almost died," Sirius said. His eyes were darker than normal, and the set of his face said that it wasn't he that didn't want to leave James alone – it was he who didn't want James to leave him alone. It was the look of a brother – James thought. A look that said, "if you're going to die, I'm coming right with you,"

"Grab your broom, Black," James said with a smile. They both ran up to their dorms, and pulled their Number 1500's out of their casing. Sirius didn't question the other boy, simply pulled on a cloak, opened a window and jumped out. James followed him. They flew for a while, simply enjoying the feel of the harsh wind in their hair. But James flew back to the Gryffindor tower – though not to his own window.

"Alohomora," James whispered. There was a click and James pushed the window open from the outside. He tumbled in silently, Sirius doing the same thing, however his foot got caught on the lock of the window and he fell, tripping over a furry ball that lay cuddled on the floor. With a loud HISS and MEW something clawed his leg, and he cursed out.

Several things happened all rather quickly:  
1. James spun on his heel to see what was happening, and twisted himself in the rug, falling to the floor.

2. Four had-been-sleeping girls bolted upright, grabbing their wands and shooting out a hex as quickly as possible.

3. Sirius was hit by one of the hexes and cursed out again.

4. Someone light the gas lamps with their wand, and the room illuminated.

5. Five of girls calmed to see who their intruders were.

6. Charlotte Parkinson saw James crawling up the bed which happened to be Lily Evans' and hexed him.

"Sirius! What're you doing here?" Marlene exclaimed. He spotted her and hopped over to her bed, falling on it and flinching with the pain the cat and the hexes had done him. "Get out of my bed idiot!"

"Why?" he questioned, as though her request was unreasonable.

"We broke up three days ago, you insensitive sod!" Marlene called out. She'd been bed ridden for the entire time, assuming her dormitory to be the only place he wouldn't show up. Look how well that worked out! Sirius looked at her guiltily and limped over to Lily's bed, where he fell down and checked his legs. They were like mince-meat.

"Whose bloody cat is that?" he demanded. Donna wriggled out of her warm bed, picked up the cat (who was now purring innocently) and went back to it.

"Sorry," she apologised.

"What're you doing here?" Charlotte demanded. "If you've come to have your disgusting way with your slags I'd really prefer it if I wasn't in the room at the time," she spat.

"I came to see Lily, actually. I don't know which slags you're referring to, Lottie, but I'm sure there's only one present in this room right now," James sassed. Sirius made an agreeable sound whilst clicking his fingers.

"You had better not mean me, Potter," she warned.

"Of course I don't. I meant me," he said cheerily. "You can all go back to bed now," he allowed them.

"Mary, are you okay?" Emmeline called out from across the room. James looked around and saw Mary Macdonald, her blonde hair stuck to her head with sweat. She was crying. Emmeline jumped out of her own bed and into her friend's. "Mare, it's okay – it's just Potter and Black, they're not going to hurt you," she cradled the girl. She turned to the boys, "get out of here, you're scaring her!" James looked at Sirius and nodded.

"Lily, I need to talk to you," James turned to her. She looked at him.

"So badly you had to break into my dorm at 3:30 am?" she said, though she didn't look like she'd been asleep at all.

"Yes, come along," Unwillingly Lily disentangled herself from her sheets and followed the boys regretfully out of the room. They used their brooms, so that they wouldn't make the alarm go off – they'd woken enough people already. Down in the common James sat beside Lily, with Sirius on an armchair not too far off.

"You can't be friends with Severus," James said. He wondered if he should have said something before jumping into his main point, but she looked exhausted and beating around the bush wouldn't help.

"Why not?" she asked, but there was no defiance in her eyes. She looked sad - sadder than he'd seen her, when he'd let her cry, sadder than he could ever hope to be possible.

"He…" James stuttered.

"I know," Lily said. There was a tear falling down her face. Just one. "I'm sorry,"

"How did you know?" he asked her.

"It was obvious, James," she admitted sadly.

"I know," his hand was on her arm, giving some form of comfort to her sadness.

"Do you know it was him?" she was crying now – silent tears running down her face.

"What was him?" James asked.

"Who attacked you?"

"No…" he mumbled. He'd had his theories, but he hadn't known for sure.

"Are you going to Dumbledore?" she asked him sadly.

"Do you want me to?" he laughed slightly; of course she didn't want him to.

"No…"

"Did he tell you about it?" James questioned – wondering how she knew it had been him.

"I figured it out. Sectumsempra – he invented it. I heard Bellatrix telling Narcissa about it that day. I recognized it at once," she explained.

"Are you sure?" she nodded.

"Yes,"

"Are you okay?"

"No, I'm sorry James. I've been avoiding him, and he's been avoiding me without trying to look like we don't want to be near each other. I'm terrified. What if I'm late for lunch and I see one of them in the corridor, and they see fit to do his job?" she cried.

"I won't let that happen," he assured her, stroking her on the back.

"James… Mate, you were unconscious for the past week – the whole school is scared. Hogwarts was the one safe place, and then James Potter of all people ends up near death," Sirius informed him in attempt to make him understand the seriousness of the entire situation.

"You know what this school needs?" James said, the ghost of his mischief glowing in his eyes. "A little bit of Gryffindor bravery and spirit!"

Sev was being weird. Whether it was the fact that she'd been visiting James in the hospital wing, upcoming exams, or _something else_ entirely Lily didn't know, but she didn't like it. Ever since the moment-neither-of-them-mentioned-ever-again, Severus was looking a lot paler. She had hoped he'd get better, but that didn't seem to be happening. When James woke up he only got weirder and it just made things clear. It was Severus. Severus attacked and almost killed James. Potter had agreed not to go to Dumbledore, and she didn't know why – she didn't want to because maybe there was still hope for him. She guessed he just didn't want to give the boy right into the hands of Voldemort.

Today would be different - Lily vowed. It was the day of the biggest Quidditch match of the year. If Slytherin won they'd over take Gryffindor and if they beat Hufflepuff (which was likely) later on in the year they'd win the house cup. Of course, Lily and Severus didn't really care about Quidditch, so Lily was surprised that Severus had said he wanted to go and watch the match, rather than their usual lone study time. She was going to suggest the same thing, as it meant she would be surrounded by hundreds of people, rather than alone with him in the castle.

Lily grabbed her house scarf and headed down to the Quidditch pitch with Emmeline, Marlene, Mary, and the rest of the chattering Gryffindors. The pitch was huge and exciting. Lily had only ever attended one game, in her first year, and had endured the entire two hours listening to James Potter complaining about the team to anyone that would listen. She reminded herself that this wouldn't be likely to happen now, as (despite his recent injuries) James Potter was making a grand comeback to Hogwarts playing seeker. People had been amazed to see him emerge, as the majority of students weren't aware of his recovery at all. He looked somewhat peaky, but healthy and loving the attention nonetheless.

The whistle blew, and fifteen broomsticks rose in the air. "Gryffindor chaser McKinnon with the quaffle. He passes to Tolkien. A bludger her way from Flint, and Slytherin in possession. Flint to Rogers, Rogers to Flint - he's there, he shoots and - HE MISSES" a huge roar from the Gryffindor stand. "Beautiful save from Gryffindor seeker. And McKinnon again, taking the quaffle. Black diverts a bludger from his dorm mate, and McKinnon to Potter. And… HE SCORES!" Another eruption of cheers. Half an hour later, and the score was 50-20 to Gryffindor. Lily certainly noticed James as he flew around, diving in between the other players in attempt to win the match. Gryffindor had scored once more when there was a ripple of excitement through the crowd. Potter was scoring continuously. He on his Nimbus 1500, and Slytherin beater Dirk on his Comet 250, sped towards the goal posts – there was no competition. Even when the seekers spotted the snitch most eyes were on James, who looped around in the air fantastically. Lehman; the Gryffindor seeker had seemed to have spotted the snitch and dove. Lily couldn't see anything, not a flicker of gold, and yet Lehman was there. Two foot from the ground, Lehman pulled the head of his comet and flew upwards, leaving Nikolai Catlow to fall face first into the sand. James did a loop in the sky. _He is an extraordinary flier_ - Lily noticed - _and doesn't he know it_. Leham returned back to the game and Potter was smiling and raising his arms leading the praise for their seeker. Slytherin scored again, but the crowd were oblivious.

Then Lehman _actually_ spotted it.


	6. Chapter 6 In an Attempt to Woo

**6. In an Attempt to Woo**

For the first time in four years at Hogwarts, Lily voluntarily attended a post Quidditch party in her common room, rather than retreating with a book to her own dorm or being forced there by Marlene. The star of the party (along with his three friends) had provided armfuls of food stolen from the kitchens, along with crates of Butterbeer and firewhiskey (which was instantly confiscated by prefect Heath Barbary). Lily sat with Alice sipping on a Butterbeer and listened all about her friend's most recent date with Frank Longbottom. Mary ran over to hear all the juicy details, allowing Lily to escape over to James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black, none of whom had a drink.

Marlene was absent – her recent breakup with Sirius still heavy on her heart. It had been hard enough for her to attend the game, what with his name being announced on the commentary every five seconds. Lily didn't know the exact details of the break up, but she figured it had something to do with James' injury – though she'd never tell him.

"Remus okay?" she said pleasantly.

"We're going to go see him in a minute," Sirius informed her with a wink of his eye.

"We just can't come up with a decent escape route," James considered.

"I don't see why we can't use the cloak!" Peter said. James hushed him immediately.

"Because only one of us" he gestured to Sirius and himself "and you would fit under there,"

"Maybe you shouldn't come?" Peter suggested. "You _did_ just get out of the hospital,"

"I'm fine! I played Quidditch perfectly fine," James reminded them.

"And _that's_ the problem," Sirius growled. "If everyone here wasn't celebrating your perfect scoring they probably wouldn't notice you slip out. You and your bloody Gryffindor spirit,"

"Well, why don't you and Peter go under the 'cloak' whatever rule breaking item that might be, and Sirius could slip out of the common room alone?" Lily suggested.

"They'd still notice him – he's on the team," James flawed. Lily considered for a moment.

"But would they follow him if he was with a girl?" she said slyly. Normally she wouldn't condone rule breaking, especially when she was being an accomplice to it, but it was for Remus. She'd seen the Shrieking Shack.

"Evans… that's genius," Potter exclaimed, grinning. Peter looked a bit confused, but ran up and fetched the "cloak" and the "map" at James' order. Sirius cottoned on immediately and burst out laughing as if Lily had said something really funny. James went a little pale, but walked away, following Peter up the stairs. Lily perched a hand on Sirius arm, and he smirked. The "flirting" continued for a good three minutes, when Lily heard a hissing of 'you're done' that sounded a lot like angry-James. Lily grabbed Sirius' hand and forced a walk way between the crowds. This allowed the invisible marauders to follow Sirius without bumping anyone. Then, she opened the portrait hole, hoping upon hell that no one saw how she was behaving. She heard 3 pairs of feet clamber out, but saw only Sirius who smiled down at her.

"Thanks Evans! You're amazing," Sirius told her. "You might want to stay away from there for at least ten minutes," he told her. "People might wonder where I'd gone,"

"Oh yes, the fact that they think we're canoodling in the broom closet it much better!" Lily sighed, much to the amusement of James, who laughed at her.

"Canoodling, Lily?" he said.

"Shut up Potter," she hissed to the invisible boy. Sirius walked away from her with a wink, so Lily slumped against the wall and waited until an appropriate amount of canoodle time had passed, before returning to the party.

"That was good of her," Sirius whispered to the friends he hoped were still behind him.

"She only did it for Remus," James replied, "but yeah, it was pretty cool of her," Sirius couldn't help but notice the hint of pride in the other boy's voice.

"I can't believe she says canoodle," Sirius laughed.

"My mum says canoodle," Peter said.

"Must be a muggle thing?" James asked of Peter, who like Lily, had grown up with a muggle family. His father was a wizard, but had died about five years ago.

"I guess. Do you reckon she fancies Remus?" Peter said stupidly.

"What?" James demanded. "No,"

"Well, it would make sense," Sirius took over from Peter. "They're both…"

"Know it all's" James finished, and continued their walk to the grounds in an angry silence.

"LILY EVANS!" Mary Macdonald shouted as the redhead entered the common room. It was still bustling, but people were looking around to find the source and target of the shouting. "Explain yourself!"

"What?" Lily bumbled, confused and a little scared. The brown haired Barbie doll that stood in front of her was 5' 9 and very full of angry-best-friend-sass. Lily racked her mind quickly for some hint as to what she might've done wrong. She hadn't realized that she might've done something worthy of being explained, until she remembered that she'd just left the party with Sirius Black: Marlene's ex-boyfriend of only four days.

"Where did you just go and who with?" Lily blushed bright red – the entire of the Gryffindor population was staring at her, most of them probably aware who she had left with in any case. If they didn't the gossip mill would ensure it soon.

"I went to get some air," Lily lied. "And Sirius came with me," she tried to look innocent, but the fact that she was lying made her seem more guilty than she actually was. She wished she could explain everything, but she couldn't give their secret away.

"Where is he now?" Mary retorted, hands on her hips.

"I think he went to the kitchens," she lied again, but then again, it was Sirius Black – he'd probably take a detour from helping his werewolf best friend to grab a snack.

"Well, do you want to explain that to the crying Marlene, who thinks that you just… fraternized in the broom closet with the person she has just been horrendously dumped by?" Mary demanded. Lily felt terrible – she'd forgotten about Marlene. How could she have been so careless? They'd been flirting to make it more realistic to the public, not to upset her obviously dishevelled best friend.

"When did she come down?" Lily asked.

"About three minutes before you left with Sirius, leading him by the hand. Evans, you are a slag,"

"Thanks for that Mary," Lily called back, pushed through the crowd and running up the stairs where she found her dorm room open, and her best friend in tears on Lily's bed.

"Marley! It's really not what you think!" Lily promised, walking over to her friend, who pushed her off as soon as she put her hand on the girl's back.

"Go away Lily!" she said through sobs.

"Trust me Marley, me and Sirius is a no-no! Never!" Marlene sat up and looked at Lily with red eyes. "Not that he's not attractive – you guys were… but no, he's not my type anyway, and he's my friend, and so you are so I'd never…"

"So you didn't… k-ki-kiss Sirius?" she sobbed again at the thought.

"No, I would never do that to you," Lily said. "_That_ marauder is a no-go area!"

"What do you mean THAT marauder? Are you going to steal Remus from Emmeline?" Marlene demanded. Did they all think she was such a harlot? Lily went red. Oh God – she was going to have to explain about the Hogsmeade trip – a subject she'd ignored like a ghost, and quite well for someone who had been so upset about James' accident.

"Well, not _that_ marauder either," Lily admitted, not wanting to lie to her friend. At this, the tear flow stopped as Emmeline sensed gossip.

"So you don't fancy Remus?"

"What? No!" Lily cried out. Of course, her and Remus was a better idea than her and Sirius (or even James), but Remus was her friend. Plus even if she did like him, there was the whole complication of him being… you know… the guy Emmeline fancied.

"Peter?" Marlene looked at her ridiculously.

"Of course not!" Lily exclaimed, appalled.

"So then James?" To this Lily said nothing. "Lily Evans! Please say you don't mean last year?" Lily shook her head, embarrassed. "When, why, how, was he any good?"

There was a gasp of shock, and a fumbling with a door handle, when Mary, Emmeline and Donna fell through the door into a heap on the floorboards.

"You actually kissed Sirius?" Emmeline screeched, jumping next to Lily on the bed.

"No," Marlene smiled, "James,"

"Wait, what?" Mary said, as confused as everyone else in the room. "You don't mean last year do you? That doesn't count, we already know…"

"Nope, she doesn't," Marlene giggled.

"Only once!" Lily defended herself. "Well, technically twice, but only one occasion… make that three times"

"Tell us _everything_," Donna demanded. She'd become a social goose recently, and it amused Lily so much that she burst out laughing.

"Does he taste like chocolate mousse? I always imagined him to taste like chocolate mousse," Mary admitted.

"Was it any good?" Marlene demanded of her friend. Lily sighed and resigned herself to the fact that she would have to tell every detail – well, not every detail.

"It was the day of the Hogsmeade trip; it was just after the incident in the Three Broomsticks when he stood up for me. I ran away back to the castle, and James caught up with me, and walked me back. We were out by the lake, and he kissed me. I guess I kissed him back as well. He tasted more like butterbeer actually, and yeah, it was good. Better than Sev," Lily said, then realised she'd said too much and clamped her hand over her mouth.

"YOU KISSED SEVERUS SNAPE?" All of the four exploded.

"No_, he kissed me_. I did not kiss him back. It was the morning after James did," sighed Lily.

"So did he know about James?" Marlene asked.

"No," Lily admitted.

"And does James know about Severus?" Donna asked, her body twitching with the gossip. _Oh, Donna_ – Lily thought – _how you were once a shy little duck._

"Yes, he walked in," Lily admitted, sadly.

"And he ended up in hospital the next day," Marlene remembered. "You don't think he went to attack Snape and he…?"

"Don't be stupid, Severus wouldn't do that," Lily stood up for her friend, but she felt sick. How did she not make that connection? Would Severus have done the dreadful act because of _her_? Or was it merely because James had overheard the conversation regarding their "tasks"?

"He does like the dark arts…" Donna stirred.

"He wouldn't do that; he's only a fourth year anyway," Marlene excused.

"And he's a terrible kisser," Emmeline laughed.

"And that," Lily blushed. Mary ran back downstairs and stole some butterbeer and sweets, and the four of them had a nice gossip and chat about the best kissers, worst kissers, and why Mary thought James Potter must taste like chocolate. It was fairly good reasoning actually, and Lily was almost upset that he didn't. Lily liked chocolate.

Sirius and James had almost made full anigamus form, but Peter wasn't anywhere close to it, so the three boys sat tiredly at the far end of the shrieking shack passage way until they saw the sun rise in the morning. Peter had fallen asleep around 3, so James and Sirius took it in turns hexing him until he woke up (green, blue hair, covered in boils). They gave up this game around an hour after starting it, so tried to lie down and sleep for an hour. It didn't come. James' mind was too preoccupied with what Peter had suggested earlier that evening.

"Prongs…" Sirius said after a long silence…

"Yes, Padfoot?"

"Stop fretting over it," was the reply.

"I can't," James said finally, and knew that of all people Sirius might understand.

"Lily and Remus wouldn't work,"

"Yes they would – they make sense. They…" he started, but Sirius interrupted.

"Could spend their dates in the library, asking one another politely to pass a book," he laughed.

"Well, Evans and I don't…" Sirius interjected again.

"I disagree. You need to see Lily for _who_ she is. What she did today…" he started.

"Was for Remus," James said bitterly.

"I don't mean that. Of course that's for Remus – she knows how hard it is for him. I was talking about attending the Quidditch match, and then the after party. Letting people think she had 'Canoodled' with me of all people, drinking butterbeer: she's not the girl she was in first year James, so you need to stop with that approach. Take her off the pedestal for one minute," Sirius checked his watch. "We'd better go get him. Got the supplies?"

"Check," James said, nudging Peter with his foot and waking him. Together the tree walked, Peter and Sirius in a conversation about the day's match, and James lost in his thoughts. He had to change his approach – and looking at the back of Peter's blue head, he knew just how to do it.

**Fourth Year – April 1st – AKA, The Day James Potter Turned The Entire School Ginger (In an attempt to woo Lily Evans)**

James had been thinking long and hard as to how the details to his plan would work. It wasn't going to be as simple as it had been on Peter, as he'd been sleeping and it had been a full frontal attack. The Marauders didn't have the access to _everyone_ when they were sleeping, and it had to be EVERYONE for the plan to work. At first his scheming was done alone, in the moments before he fell asleep, but soon he got his friend's professional opinions. The problem had been that with all the planning, James had forgotten to ask Lily out every few days, so she (along with the rest of the school) was becoming highly suspicious – especially as April fool's day fast approached. For James this was just a happy coincidence.

The Marauders had done amazing, beautiful and verging on illegal things in past years, from turning every item of clothing in Dumbledore's office a bright shade of magenta, to having bribed the portrait guarding the Slytherin dungeons to not allow them out of their common room for the whole day. This year would be different, **because this year it was personal.**

"I don't see how we're going to be able to do this Prongs," Remus said on one of their many huddled chats around the study table.

"There's got to be some way to do it," James whispered. "We're just being too close minded,"

"You think we could ask everyone to do it politely to themselves? You know, in the name of love?" Remus chuckled. The portrait hole opened, and Lily and Marlene walked in. The latter girl spotted Sirius and gave the awkward "It's been enough time since we broke up that I can be civil with you, but I don't think I could stand to actually have a conversation with you" smile, which he returned politely. Sirius had never seemed as bummed at their breakup as Marlene.

"But you're like… a one-time thing, Lil. Not everyone can control that level of magic,"

"Well I have to try don't I? I can't just let her continue like this…"

"We don't even know if it will work," Marlene pointed out. James was thoroughly confused, but realised that if he asked why she looked so suspicious, she might ask the same thing.

"We don't know that it won't," Lily argued, and headed for one of the spare sofas. Sirius shot a worried look at James, who immediately rationed a plan to get rid of her.

"Oi, Evans – I don't need Felix Felicis to get lucky with you, do I?" the scarce amount of people in the room laughed, but Lily stood up, slapped him and stormed off red in the face. Marlene followed with a grin. At least she wouldn't be asking them what they were up to, James thought on the plus side.

"Bit tactless, eh mate?" Sirius laughed. "We're trying to get the girl to go out with you, not get a restraining order,"

"We needed to get rid of her. She'll ruin her own surprise," James moaned, wishing she'd make this at least slightly easier for him.

"She's not going to like it, anyway," Remus said smartly.

"Oh, and when did you become the authority on Lily Evans?" James retorted angrily, and returned to the open book on his lap. Remus shot a confused look at Sirius, who shrugged unknowingly back.

"Well, we have two options – the showers and the food," Sirius reminded them to diffuse the tension.

"We could ask the house elves…" Peter started.

"No, they'd never do it," James and Sirius said at once. "Maybe…"

"A potion," James said.

"In the food?" Sirius asked.

"What if someone isn't eating?" Remus suggested.

"Then released from the enchanted ceiling?" Peter suggested.

"Too sudden and obvious," James flawed.

"And what if someone walks in late?" Sirius pitched in.

"Scrap that then…" Peter said.

"We want them to wake up like that…" Remus pondered. He thought over the many books he'd read, but of course nothing like this had been done before – that was the point of the marauder brilliance – it was unprecedented.

"We need to ask someone…" James sighed, shutting his book shut with such force that Peter jumped out of his seat.

"Lily would know of a potion," Remus said.

"Yeah, but she'd cotton on – she's not stupid, Remus," James said. The werewolf looked at his friend sadly, unaware of his curious behaviour regarding Lily Evans.

"Snape?" Remus said.

"I'm not asking Snivlles for help," James vowed. "Not with this. Not after…" he stopped.

"We need someone immensely good at potions, who is a little dim, and in love with one of us enough to spill their darkest secrets…" Sirius said.

Twenty minutes later, Sirius and James were pottering down to the dungeons where the potions master's office stood. Filch was across the other side of the castle chasing Peeves, and no one else was around the castle at this point, so there was no chance in getting caught, despite the hour. Nethertheless they had packed the invisibility cloak and the newest version of the map, which had all but the first years on it. Neither of the boys looked happy about what they were about to do, but continued their walk in silence. Only Sirius' occasional grumble about 'better be worth it' broke the tension.

They reached the door.

"C'mon Padfoot, smiling faces!" Sirius looked grim as James lifted his fist and knocked at the door. There was a commotion inside, and seconds later a round smiling face looked down at them.

"Boys! Isn't it past curfew?" Slughorn asked, totally unsure if it was or not.

"Yes, but I really wanted to talk to you professor," James started.

"Oh yes, James – what about?"

"You see, my father is an auror," James said tactfully. Slughorn was a sucker for success.

"I know who your father is boy! I used to be his friend," the professor said proudly. James was aware that whilst Alexander Potter and Horace Slughorn had been in the same school year at Hogwarts the Gryffindor and the Slytherin never really saw eye to eye. Nonetheless, James needed to work the man's soft spots in order to make him spill his secrets.

"Yes! I'm glad you remember. He often spoke of your expertise. He told me about all the things you taught him. He often talks about you with great fondness, my father does. Can we come in?" James said, spotting Filch on the map in the corner of his eye.

"Oh yes boys! Any chance to reminisce – so what was it that you wanted to talk about James?" Slughorn asked as he poured them a drink and gestured for them to take a seat on a green leather couch. Sirius remained dully silent – he hated the Slytherin head of house.

"My father told me about a potion you had informed him about. It was a potion that could transmit a spell that was performed on it to a person?" James lied. He'd read about something similar, but only in passing.

"I don't recall ever… but perhaps – Alex Potter _was_ part of the Slug Gang in its early years," The man said proudly. "The Linmorea potion was created by a friend of my fathers. Tricky thing to brew it is, but brilliant effects. Give it to a person and it'll be as though you put any spell on them, and you can be as far away as you like. Why did you want to know?" He finally cottoned on suspiciously.

"As I said – my father was telling me about how much you knew about potions and it intrigued me," James said innocently. "I was doing some extra research into Potions that I might need to go into being an auror my father suggested that one,"

"Oh, you want to be an auror?" Slughorn perked up.

"Well – if Quidditch doesn't work out," James said, covering his own tracks. Being a chaser on the England team was his dream.

"Oh yes – excellent flier. Certainly the best I've seen in these halls for a while," the man said. "And what about you, Mr Black?"

"I want to be a hit wizard," Sirius said deadpan. The reaction was instantaneous. Slughorn's eyes widened and James burst into laughter simultaneously.

"We should get going, past curfew and all," he shook hands with Slughorn, Sirius tried to smile and they ran away as fast as possible.

"Oh yes, right. There's a party in one of the transfiguration rooms in a few weeks. You're both welcome to come along. Your friends Mr Lupin and Miss Evans are regular attendees. In all honesty I've been trying to play cupid,"

"We really have to go, Professor," James said darkly and left without another word.

They had the cloak on and were headed up to the library, James seething in silence. Sirius allowed this behaviour for five minutes, but when James started cursing under his breath he realised he should probably put a stop to it.

"Prongs, mate – calm down," he said. "Remus fancies Emmeline, and Lily… Lily is a hermit. I don't think she has the capability to fancy anyone,"

"She went on a date with McEwan!" James argued.

"And you threw a rock at his head and she didn't stop you," Sirius pointed out. "Look, mate. They'd make a good couple, yes. They'd probably have kids, and she'd be perfectly fine with his furry little problem and they'd be two parents raising a child to be a perfect little boffin. I'm not going to lie – they've both probably thought about it,"

"Are you meant to be making me feel better?" James glared.

"Potter – you and Lily aren't two people who will become parents and put up with each other. You and Lily are the pair that has monuments set in stone for them – you're the couple people will be reading about in fifty years. You're the…"

"But maybe I want to be a parent," James said.

"Of course you will be. You'll have five kids, with your stupid hair and her perfect eyes, and you'll teach your sons to ride brooms, and they'll captain the Quidditch team, and everyone will say "You know what, boy? You're just like your father – brilliant man," and those kids are going to think you're the coolest damn guy in the whole world. Can you imagine anyone thinking Remus is the coolest guy in the whole world?"

"Yeah, but – you get these two people who are just so similar in everything…" James mumbled, trying to pick holes in his friend's argument.

"That they'd never work out," Sirius interrupted.

"Like you and Marlene?" James asked.

"Like me and Marlene," Sirius agreed.

"Why is that?" James asked. They were shuffling closer to the library, but slowly due to their size and the smallness of the invisibility cloak. James thought about everything Sirius had said – one day he'd give his eldest son the cloak and he'd have adventures just like them.

"We were too similar… in our interests," Sirius said.

"I don't understand, surely that's a good thing?" James asked.

"Well, you and I are too similar, but we have Remus and Peter to stop us doing anything too stupid," Sirius explained in the only way James would understand.

"So you guys did something really stupid and realised that you wouldn't work?" questioned James, still not understanding.

"No… not exactly. Well, kind of. But… can we drop it?" begged Sirius.

"You like someone else," James pointed out. "That's it, isn't it?" he exclaimed. Sirius shook his head wildly – he was blushing.

"No!" he insisted.

"You do! I can tell by the sound of your voice," James chuckled.

"Well – as Remus pointed out I have… feelings for someone. But not even romantic – just… what was the word he used? Extreme…"

"Extreme?" James laughed.

"He said that I didn't know what moderation was, when it came to caring for someone… and I agree," Sirius mumbled, his face reddening.

"Right…" James mused.

"And this person has been there, for years now. And I like them. As a friend… sort of,"

"Is she hot?" James asked as he flicked through a map looking for any obstacles.

"Yeah… she is," Sirius sighed, obviously done with the conversation. James dropped it, aware that when the time came for Sirius to tell him who the mysterious girl was, he would. They reached the library door in silence.

"Alohomora" James whispered, with his wand pointed at the lock. Pushing the door open, he allowed him and Sirius into the room. They snuck over to the restricted section immediately. There was something to be said that they knew exactly where to head in the restricted section – years of brilliant trouble making and magical research had obviously paid off, as it only took five minutes to find the potion. James scribbled it down exactly onto a spare piece of parchment whilst Sirius drummed sparks from the end of his wand.

"Promise me one thing, Prongs?" he said. James murmured a questioning sound. "When you're married to Lily and living in your little cottage, whilst playing Quidditch and being adored by your eight children…"

"I thought it was five?" James questioned as he finished copying the potion down.

"It's more likely to be eight – I imagine you and Lily would not stop," Sirius joked.

"Right, awesome," James muttered happily.

"Don't forget me. Like… I don't know if I'll have that system – or even if I want it. Marley did. That was a problem too. She was serious – I'm the only Sirius in this relationship. But, I'll be the god father, right?" he questioned, hands in pockets. James looked up at his friend incredulously.

"You can bloody well be the uncle, Padfoot. In fact, you can be our family dog," James joked. "I'm done!" James said, shutting the book and putting it back in its dusty bed on the shelf. "You ready?"

"Always,"

It was Remus and Peter's job to acquire the ingredients. After his talk with Sirius, James was a lot less edgy when Remus mentioned Lily, and so the planning was a lot easier to accomplish. The two boys were to take the cloak in the lunch hour of the next day and get all of the ingredients that they were unable to steal during their morning potions lesson. This would be the more complicated and dangerous ingredients: dragon blood, dried billywig stings, wolfsbane and infusion of wormwood. The rest would be available in the student store.

James and Sirius left their lesson in high spirits, having just hexed Snape until his nose was twice the size it normally was ("And that's saying something" Sirius laughed) and Slughorn hadn't even noticed. Lily did, of course, but she only lectured them about bullying for ten minutes, so she was obviously improving. They skipped off to the Great Hall discussing how hard the potion was to brew when they bumped into Lily Evans.

"Why are you walking away from the food?" Sirius cried out. "The food is behind you Evans, are you lost?"

"No – Sirius, some people have more important things on their mind than food," Lily laughed, rolling her eyes.

"And what's that?" James questioned, leaning in towards her. Recently they'd been getting on quite a bit better than before, and he was constantly there when she was scared about Snape.

"Helping people," she grinned.

"Oh, I've been helping James here for a week. We went studying together, I've been taking him to chat with professors, and we're even doing some extracurricular potions," Sirius said proudly. James nudged him.

"Is this true, Potter?" Lily asked, turning to the dark haired boy.

"Well, technically – yeah," he replied. She burst into another, larger smile.

"I am happily mistaken. Well done, it's nice to see you both applying yourselves," Lily smiled happily. "Are you hoping to become a prefect next year?" she asked James. Both boys burst out laughing.

"Well, Remus has had his eyes sighted on head boy since first year – I don't think we could take this from him," James said, still chuckling.

"Well, it was a nice thought," Lily chuckled to herself. She jumped – she'd spotted Severus across the hall, and despite the recent awkwardness she needed his help. "Bye guys!" she ran off.

Severus raised his eyebrow at her.  
"Bye guys?" he asked.

"We were talking about Remus," Lily said quickly – it wasn't exactly a lie, and Severus wouldn't despise her this way.

"Right," he said, half believingly. "What did you want?"

"Well, did I ever tell you about Ophelia?" Lily asked. Severus shook his head. "Well, she's this first year that I bumped into once. She's a metamorphmagus with… some other skills as well,"

"Other skills?" Severus raised his eyebrow.

"Well… I think I should introduce you to her, she'll show you," Lily said with a smile on her face. She grabbed Severus' hands and pulled him through the winding corridors. Her destination: an empty charms room. When they got there she allowed Severus a second to straighten up, and then opened to the door, to find Albus Dumbledore sat cross legged on the carpet. "Hello Ophelia," Lily smiled.

"Hullo Lily," then Dumbledore spotted Severus Snape looked curiously at the room. "Who's that?" the form of the elderly professor then melted into the smaller, hooked nose figure of Severus Snape. His white hair shortened to black curtains that framed his sallow face.

"Impressive," Severus whistled. "Except…"

"The eyes?" Second Severus asked. First Severus nodded. "I've been practising, but to no avail,"

"Is that why you want to help her, Lil?" Severus asked.

"No. That's a much more complicated matter actually," Lily looked tense. "Ophelia, I know you're not comfortable with this particular power of yours, but Sev might be able to help. He and I… we controlled magic before we got to Hogwarts – the kind that most people can't. We might be able to help you," Ophelia understood. She nodded, and fell back into her own body. To the girl, it was almost as unfamiliar as a stranger's.

"I don't know how to … show him," Ophelia said – showing Lily had been an accident because she'd been happy – how was she going to feel an emotion large enough to overpower the fourth year boy?

"I thought about that – I figured we'd try it in the same way people do Patronus'. Think of your happiest memory – starting Hogwarts, perhaps?" Ophelia just nodded and closed her eyes. She replayed the moment sat in the boats, watching Hogwarts come into view. She was consumed with the feeling of it; she floated in the memory of what had occurred only a few months previously.

Across the room Lily saw Severus' brow twitching and she knew that he too was feeling the warmth of having first seen Hogwarts. It was an emotion in itself – a mixture between the safety of the map after being lost for so long, the feeling of Christmas dinners and family, and the feeling of possibility. The room was suffocating with the nostalgia of it.

"This is what she's feeling?" Severus choked. "She is giving me her emotions?"

"Yes – pretty much," Lily said with a smile. "It's fantastic, isn't it?"

"Brilliant. Why did I not know of this before?" he asked.

"Dumbledore told me I should keep this quiet. If the death eaters were to find out about it… they might…" Ophelia started. Lily suddenly felt a stabbing in her chest that was entirely her own guilt. Could she trust Severus with this? Should she have told _him_ about the girl's power? She rationed that he hadn't attempted his task yet – maybe he had dropped out? Except, people don't drop out of being a death eater, she reminded herself.

"Of course," Severus said.

"She can't control it – and it... catches her unawares. Do you remember when you and I would control our magic without wands?" She smiled – hoping to draw out the child that she knew – the child who had come up to her that day in the park and said 'Lily, you are a witch'. And there he was – that shimmer of childhood brought to mind in his eyes. Lily sighed with relief – it wasn't too late.

"Ophelia, sit down for a second and clear your head," Severus ordered. "Inside of your head you have to imagine yourself, can you do that?" the girl nodded. "Now, around you is a circle, it is just a bit bigger than you, but no one else can fit inside the circle, okay?" another nod. "Now, I want you to remember that night, when you first saw the castle…" they both were hit with the force of the memory. "And I want you to keep that memory inside the circle," the girl's eyes were closed, and clenched shut.

For a second Lily felt relief from the emotions that were being projected onto them, but then it returned, quickly in a wash of warmth.

"That was good!" Lily clapped. "You did it – you just have to do it for longer," she grinned. Ophelia looked to the older girl with a smile of her own.

"It worked?" the girl exclaimed.

"Yes – Severus is a wonderful teacher!" Lily smiled. Sev looked over to her, with a soft smile of his own. It had been months since she'd seen it.

"Can we go again?" Ophelia asked. Severus nodded.

"Try a different memory – we don't want to wear it out too much," Lily suggested.

They went again, and a small amount of improvement was made. Each time they went, the moment between not feeling the memory and being drowned by it stretched. Lily clapped, smiled and congratulated the progress, whilst Severus gave a rare smile, and some tips for improvement. By the time they had to go to their lessons, Ophelia was smiling – happy to have made such progress. She picked up her bag, and skipped out of the dark room with Lily and the boy.

"Thank you both," she smiled. Severus also smiled. "Sorry, I need to …" she stopped, and Severus' smile vanished. "See, improvement"? Ophelia said.

"The trick is finding the balance between ecstasy and apathy," Lily guided. "It's very new to you, but you've done so well," she hugged the smaller girl, who couldn't help but cause the entire hallway to be filled with smiling faces. "See how many people are smiling right now? If you could have this level of happiness all day long I would encourage you to spread it,"

"What if people don't want to be forced to be happy?" Severus asked.

"Then they need a good kick up the backside," Lily laughed, and so did Ophelia. "Right, we're up here now, Ophelia. I'll see you in the Great Hall for dinner?" the smaller girl nodded and waved goodbye to the redhead. As they headed up the staircase, Severus grew quieter. "You were amazing with her, Sevi," Lily said.

"Well, it's only… you know, magical theory?" Severus said, but secretly he wanted to smile. He saw how the girl might have a problem with everyone being aware of how she felt at all times – he'd hate it.

"Don't do that!" Lily cried.

"What?"

"Self-deprecation," Lily said. "You were fantastic – it's something that's probably never been done before and you just knew what to do,"

"Actually, it's sort of like Occlumency," Severus told her. "Except in the reverse. You still need the same techniques to block out the feeling – create a wall between yourself and others,"

"You could be a teacher, you know?" Lily smiled. "Imagine that! Teaching at Hogwarts,"

"It'd be something…"

"I'd like to do it someday," Lily admitted. "If becoming a healer doesn't go as planned,"

"Lil, you could do anything you wanted," he told her, and he meant it.

"Maybe after all this … war stuff blows over," Lily said, retreating into herself.

"Oh Lily…" Sev started.

"It's true Sev, I've accepted it," she said bleakly with a small smile. He returned it.

"Have you been spending a lot of time with Ophelia recently?"

"Yes. She doesn't have many friends. People think she's a little odd," Lily said. "Plus, she's really good company. She does a really funny impression of Filch,"

"I'm sure the Metamorphmagus does," Snape laughed. "Sorry I've been off lately,"

"Me too," she said, slipping her arm through his and cuddling up to his shoulder. "It's been…"

"A scary week," Severus smiled, though she couldn't see. Lily nodded, unlatched herself from the boy and walked into transfiguration.

Linmorea was a tough spell to brew, and none of them particularly excelled in potions. Their best hope was Sirius, who had successfully copied enough of Lily's notes to understand the majority of what was going on inside the cauldron. Lily herself would've probably managed to get the perfect shade of blueberry, but all in all James was proud that they'd done a damn good job. Luckily the brewing time was only three days, so they had it done by lunch time March 29th, when they all ran to the second floor bathroom, James avoided Myrtle's affections, and they poured the potion into a giant beaker.

The next step was to have it leaked into the laundry system – it was the best bet for getting everyone if they put the potion with the clothes and sheets. Sirius convinced the elves to have a sheet change that evening whilst everyone was at dinner, which gave them a gap of two hours. Remus and Peter were given this job as they would look a lot less suspicious than James and Sirius – and the day before April 1st everyone was a little weary of them. Half way through Care of Magical Creatures Remus would face a severe headache, and insist that James take him to the Hospital Wing. Professor Kettleburn would reject this, and send Peter instead. The two would limp to the kitchens, carrying the potion in Peter's bag where they would walk about and ask for food. Whilst Remus distracted the house elves, Peter would run into the laundrette-department of Hogwarts and fill the industrial washers with the readily prepared potion.

The third part of the plan was actually Peter's idea. He suggested an extra prank, since everyone was already expecting another Marauder spectacular, so he and Sirius happily worked on something, whilst Remus taught James an illustration charm. Everyone in the common room avoided the marauders the evening before April 1st, as though either scared to be victim to their newest prank or in a vow to let them work on their genius. Whatever it was, James was grateful for the silence.

It was the morning of the big day and James woke up smiling, knowing immediately that his plan had worked. Looking over at his dorm mates, he saw a bunch of sleeping boys, all with newly dyed ginger hair. James burst out laughing, waking Sirius who joined in immediately. They ridiculed each other for a while, before jumping out of bed to stare at themselves in the mirror. Long ago Sirius had suggested that they get another mirror, as James needed at least two to himself.

"We look like Weasley's!" James scoffed, waking Remus and Peter, who smiled at their good work. "Another plan well executed Marauders!" Sirius high fived James.

"James… why are you ginger?" Adam McKinnon asked, stretching and rubbing his eyes. "Oh god, you guys look ridiculous," he laughed.

"Don't get cocky, McKinnon," Sirius said, holding a hand mirror to the boy's face. He stared at himself for a second and screamed.

"If this is your work…" Adam threatened.

"It is," James admitted.

"I'm going to kill you," he swore.

"Nah, you're not," Sirius told him.

"True, you'd beat me," Adam sighed glumly.

"We would," James laughed.

"Will you at least tell me the counter charm?"

"No, McKinnon, you look lovely. Why would we ruin your good looks?" James chuckled.

"What?" the boy asked incredulously.

"If you didn't notice, James has a thing for gingers," Sirius explained, as James started stroking his own messy ginger locks.

"That's just inappropriate," Peter cried out.

Down at breakfast things only got better. As they were early, there were only a few people milling around, eating porridge, looking thoroughly confused as to their new identities. Everyone, from that ugly Slytherin bloke on the Quidditch team, to the funny first year Hufflepuff had ginger hair. Even Dumbledore (who strolled in looking pleasantly amused) had a ginger mop where it used to be silver – and his beard was much the same. He looked like a Viking king. James was wholly proud of himself. There were a few people who hadn't realized anything was amiss until heading into the Great Hall and seeing everyone (Severus Snape included) sat around like it was Ireland, they jumped and giggled.

Then came the second phase of the plan: Lily Evans stepped through the great hall and laughed at seeing everyone looking so much like her. She walked over with a now redheaded Mary McDonald, wondering how this had happened, along with the rest of the school – assuming it to be another April fool's prank. She had no idea that the inspiration for the school's new colouring was her own red hair (which was down today, the way James liked it most).

James remembered what Remus had taught him and muttered the charm under his breath. Above all of their heads, the banners holding host to the Hogwarts emblem and the houses symbols wiped clean, writing out something new on their canvases. "LILY EVANS, WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME? IF YOU SAY NO IT'LL BE REALLY EMBARRASING. THINK ABOUT THAT – JUST A LITTLE BIT – PLEASE? ALL MY LOVE, POTTER". Everyone burst out laughing and turned their heads to get a view of Lily. Of course, what would have once been a simple task of spot-the-ginger was now like playing Where's Merlin? Lily dropped her head in embarrassment, whilst Marlene, Emmeline, Mary and Donna all laughed in her face.

Luckily for onlookers everywhere, the excitement didn't stop. At this point all of the food disappeared from the tables, and out popped a choir of house elves, stood in a congress facing where Lily sat. They all held their hands in front of them, and their heads looking up to the skies. At once, the elves burst out into song, singing the new hit "Wild Thing", a song Peter had informed James of, that was very popular in the muggle world. People started dancing to the music, with even Dumbledore doing a small jig in his seat after whispering "Oh, I love this one Minerva!"

"WILD THING, YOU MAKE MY HEART SING! YOU MAKE EVERYTHING GROOOVY" they sang. Lily blushed the brightest red James thought was possible without attaining an aneurism. Everyone was laughing now, especially their headmaster, who quietly considered that a lot of work had gone into embarrassing Miss Evans. Regretfully he stood, knowing it was time to bring this to a close. After the next Chorus…

"House elves – thank you for that stunning performance, but I'm afraid we need our breakfasts back!" Albus called with a smile. With a loud pop, all of the house elves disappeared, and in their place the breakfast reassembled. Lily would've grabbed for a croissant, but her humiliation was too great. She didn't even want to look up, to see all the faces laughing at her.

"Messrs Lupin, Pettigrew, Black and Potter would do well to follow me," Dumbledore said again, though with a pinch less amusement in his eyes. He took a sip of water and led the four grinning boys into the chamber behind the Great Hall, where they had all waited to be sorted in their first year. James' smile was bigger than anyone's. Lupin looked pleased, but also ashamed. Peter looked proud of himself, and Sirius was still in hysterics. Shutting the door behind him, Peter rushed over to his three friends.

"That was impressive magic, boys," Dumbledore congratulated. "Just what the day needed. Not a Zonko's product in sight either – very good," he smiled.

"Thank you sir," James said, bowing slightly to his teacher.

"However, it did seem to be at the expense of Miss Evans, whose face appears redder than anyone's hair at this present time. And as such, punishments shall have to be awarded," the group of them groaned. "I know – but poor Lily. What were you thinking, James?"

"I was acting in the name of love professor!" James proclaimed. "I am not myself. I find myself bedridden more often than not, I am haunted by the ghosts of those emerald eyes, and I am driven to madness by that laughter. And the hair! The beautiful hair! How could I stop myself? I am a fool for love! Have you ever been a fool for love?" James acted. His overdramatic presence was something he had learnt from Charlotte a long time ago.

Dumbledore stood there looking at the boy, and for all of his dramatization, he realised the boy was actually telling the truth. Albus thought to himself – a fool for love – what man isn't? His thoughts pressed against a face a long time ago, a pair of lips, the genius, the darkness and the madness he himself had been driven to. He remembered the shadow set by his eyelashes, when they worked by candlelight deep into the night. He recalled how he sat in the armchair by the empty fire place, letting the moonlight see only a strip of his face. Albus looked down at James Potter and smiled the saddest smile he would allow.

"Be that as it may – love is not won by a grand gesture, James, but by patience and understanding. It is not grown in the seconds of first sight, but in the hours studying them,"

"In all fairness, professor, he's had the hots for her since the day he met her," Sirius chipped in.

"That does not merit embarrassing the girl in front of the entire school," Dumbledore said sternly, obviously out of his reverie. "However – that was an impressive use of magic, so 20 points to Gryffindor each. I will have to take 10 away for such behaviour, and give you each detention for a week, but kudos on the brilliance of it,"

"Thank you sir," Remus said politely.

"And Mr Potter, I'd like it if you could apologise to Lily," Dumbledore said finally. James nodded and followed Remus and Peter out of the door. Sirius however beaconed for the group to go on, as he wanted a word with Dumbledore alone. "Sirius, I assume this is about James?"

"It always is Professor," Sirius sighed.

"What is the news this time?" the older man smile patiently.

"He knows… he knows who it was who attacked him," Sirius said, his head bowed. Dumbledore surveyed the boy over his half-moon glasses.

"He has not informed me," Dumbledore told him, though he was sure the boy would already know – why else would he be here after all?

"It was Severus Snape – a spell of his own device," Sirius said.

"Why are you telling me?" Dumbledore asked of the boy. Sirius looked sadly at him.

"I don't like James walking about the castle with him… free. And Lily – she's his best friend and a muggle born. She shouldn't be alone with him!" Sirius moaned.

"You care for them?" Dumbledore questioned, though the truth was evident in his face.

"Of course I bloody care!" he swore. "They're James and Lily,"

"Do you understand why they didn't tell me?" Dumbledore asked.

"No. Lily thinks that she can change him – but she sees the best in everyone! It's going to get her killed," groaned the boy.

"There are worse things," Dumbledore considered. "And James?"

"Well, for one thing James will do whatever keeps Lily happy. He wasn't kidding, sir. He'd give up his life if she asked him to," Sirius thought for a second, "and James is… I think he sees Snape as his equal,"

"I'm sure he does," Dumbledore said. "Both for the affections of Miss Evans and in ability – they are worthy foes, Sirius. A man does not so easily destroy the one thing he believes to be his equal," a flash of blue – bloody bruised and aching – they fought on, desperately torn between what was right and what he loved.

"Are you going to punish Severus?" Sirius asked.

"Perhaps – it may well be better to continue with discretion. Mr Potter did not demand him punished, and this way…"

"You're not sending him into the real world where Voldemort will snatch him up immediately?"

"Exactly," Dumbledore said. "Mr Potter is more than enough challenge for Mr Snape,"

"He almost killed him!" Sirius exclaimed.

"By catching him unawares whilst he was out of bed after hours," Dumbledore reminded the boy. "The safest we can keep him is ensuring his trouble making be kept to a minimal. Yes Sirius?" the fourth year nodded. "Our love for others can blind us Sirius – James is a brilliant wizard and your best friend. You must keep him safe, if he himself refuses the task,"

"Yes sir, thank you," Sirius said, turning to leave. Dumbledore watched him go – a piano melody in his head. A blinding boy playing him the music in the dead of night – he illuminated brilliance. There was nothing to be done, other than sit there, drowning out the light of day with these hours in his company – with Gellert. His stomach pained familiarly at the memory. Pointing the tip of his wand to his head, the man removed a blue substance from his temple and put it in a small vial that he kept on his person. When he walked back into the Great Hall, he saw the students – all red haired, laughing and happy. Lily Evans was sat opposite James Potter unwillingly laughing at a joke he'd just told. _There are worse things than fools,_ Albus thought with a smile.

**April 15th – AKA The Day James Potter Ordered the Four Marauders Ukuleles and Serenaded A Lovely Gryffindor All Day (In an Attempt to Woo Lily Evans)**

**April 21st – AKA The Day James Potter Attempted to carve "JP + LE" on the Whomping Willow and Ended up Hospitalised (In an Attempt to Woo Lily Evans)**

**April 29th – AKA The Day James Potter Charmed All of the Suits of Armour to Compliment A Lovely Gryffindor When She Walked By (In an Attempt to Woo Lily Evans)**

**Mary 4th – AKA The Day James Potter Spelt Out I LOVE A LOVELY GRYFFINDOR in the Sky During a Quidditch Match (In an Attempt to Woo Lily Evans)**

**May 5th – AKA The Day Lily Evans Punched James Potter in the Face (In an attempt to shut up the stupid Marauder)**

Severus Snape was having a bad year. Between problems with Lily (the list was so long that it didn't bear mentioning) and his unfinished "task" it seemed as though everyone was out to annoy him. Of course, this is the way life seems to most fourteen year old death eaters – but Severus Snape was taking it particularly badly.

Lily was getting more and more annoyed at Potter the more he attempted to court her, which though helped his sanity of mind, made her rant and talk about him an awful lot. It was a well-known fact that Severus' least favourite topics of conversation included: 1. His feelings for Lily Evans, 2. His father, 3. The Upcoming War, 4. James Potter. Unfortunately, Lily seemed to be bringing up two of them regularly. The only times in which she didn't discuss her annoyance at Potter or her fear for the world was when they met on Wednesday lunchtimes and attempted to tutor Ophelia Finnley.

That was yet another problem posed for Snape. The uniquely talented first year would definitely be something that Lucius and Malarky would want to hear about – she could be a fantastic weapon and it was always safer to have the best weapons on their side. Severus however, had quite grown to like the girl, who was smart, willing to learn, and as fond of Lily as himself. She was only a first year – he shouldn't subject her to that – at least not yet. He promised himself that he would not make any decisions regarding the girl for at least another year. This way he was safe from Lucius and also her powers.

The tutoring sessions were going well actually – it surprised Severus. She had perfected the art of hiding happiness and giddiness in two weeks. Negative emotions, however, were a problem. She; like Lily, had a problem controlling her temper and things such as sadness, hurt, embarrassment, heart break – they were much harder to mask. Severus took several breaths between each wave of emotion he was hit with – they only doubled with his own – and continued to instruct. Sometimes his own reverie became so large that Lily was forced to take over, continuing their instruction without him.

His biggest problem was, however, not Lily, not the first year Metamorphmagus, not even their schoolwork (which was getting near unmanageable) but the threat of the task ahead of him. It had been three months almost since he had been assigned the task, and he had failed to achieve anything. The rest of the group (bar Avery and Mulciber who had been expelled, and Regulus who was caught by his severely more talented brother) had managed to achieve their tasks without thought, and even those who had failed had tried. Severus was still torn – he didn't want to hurt Lily.

His chance came on a Wednesday. As he was running late, he was in a rush to get to the empty charms room where he helped Lily teach Ophelia to control her emotions. He hurried up the stairs when he heard a voice calling his name.

"Snape!" the disdainful voice said. It was Lucius Malfoy – his hair was longer than it had been in February, but he looked near identical facially. The boy grimaced upon the sight.

"Malfoy," he snarled.

"You haven't done your task yet, have you?" Lucius asked with an angry expression.

"Not yet – I haven't found the right moment," he lied quickly.

"Three months and you haven't been alone with Evans?" Lucius snarled, sure that this was a falsehood.

"We are rarely alone – ever since the attacks on her friends she has been jumpy. And if I am not mistaken I am meant to have one of you lot with me when it happens, isn't that correct?" Snape retorted quickly.

"Yes, Snape. But your unwillingness to cooperate with our cause makes the Dark Lord think…" Lucius' top lip was raised in an uncomfortable grimace.

"I'm going to do it!" Severus assured. "I just… need to find the right time,"

"Did you ever hear the phrase there's no time like the present?" Malfoy asked, his mouth twisted into a cruel smile. Severus' stomach dropped.

"No – is that a muggle thing?" Snape lied.

"Don't pretend you're not half muggle yourself, boy. The Dark Lord may be able to look over that, but don't lie to me!" Lucius growled. "Where are you going?" LIE – Severus thought immediately.

"The Library," Snape said quickly.

"You don't have your bag," Lucius pointed out.

"I was just picking up a book," Severus lied again.

"Which?" Lucius enquired.

"Advanced Potion Making Volume 2," which was silly, as Severus was already on Volume 3.

"Interesting…" Malfoy said. "I expect it to be done by next week, Snape," and with that parting comment, he stormed off, his longer than normal hair flicking as he went.

Quietly walking up the stairs and into the charms corridor Severus composed himself. Lily wasn't to know about this – he thought. He masked his features, and put his hand on the door, ready to turn the knob when –

"That isn't the library, Snape," it was Lestat Rosier. Of course – Malfoy must've sent him to follow him.

"No… er, I was just trying to find…" he fumbled over another lie.

"Lily Evans?" Rosier said, strutting over to where Snape stood dead still with his hand on the knob.

"No-" Snape lied, trying to think of a convincing lie, when there was a pull at the door, and a sweet voice calling his name.

"Sev – is that you? You're late!" Lily Evans pulled the door open with a fading smile when she spotted Rosier. "You invited him?"

"Severus! Do it, or it shan't be her who is hurt," Rosier threatened. Snape's heart thundered in his chest – he looked to Lily, her hair was down, her eyes – dully-green eyes staring at him with wonder. He formulated a plan.

"I'm sorry, Lily," Severus called out, so that whoever may be inside the room behind 'Lily' might hear – might understand. His eyes shut. "Crucio," he called out, pointing his wand at the small girl in front of him.

The pain was instantaneous. It rippled through him, tearing his muscles and bones. He screamed, without hearing it leave him mouth – somehow his wand still pointed at Lily. Her own pain was obvious – she was crying, and writhing on the floor. Behind him, Severus heard Rosier screaming as the pain echoed through him. Second hand torture. He heard two girlish screams, and then his own, and Rosier's.

It wasn't over soon enough. Sweat drenched his brow and his legs couldn't hold his weight. He fell against the wall, and saw Lily's tiny little figure unconscious on the floor. Behind him – despite his own confusion and pain, Rosier laughed.

"Do it again!" he demanded. Snape stole air, nodded, and prepared for the worst. Again he pointed his wand at the girl, begged for her forgiveness, and muttered the curse. This time, there was no pain. He saw her eyes slam open (they were a lilac colour now, something which Rosier didn't notice as he laughed) as another wave of the agony struck her – she screamed and sobbed, but she controlled it. Somewhere inside him Snape was distantly aware that he was almost proud of her.

He ended the curse quickly and turned to Rosier. "I think that's it, yes?" he snarled. Inside him, another string had snapped.

"I'll report to Malfoy, you clean up your mess," Rosier said, and shakily walked away. He was farther away from the girl, so his pain was probably lesser, Snape reminded himself. As soon as the other boy was out of sight, Snape dropped down to the floor and cradled the tiny figure. It was Lily's body, but he knew the eyes were different, underneath their closed lids. He took the girl into his arms and held her close to his heartbeat.

"I'm sorry Ophelia, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he sobbed – over and over and over. "I'm so sorry," then he remembered the real Lily, whom he had heard scream – calling out his name. He carried the younger girl into the room and closed the door. It took him too long to spot her – shaking on the carpet. Her face was strewn with tears, wild and manic. When she saw her own body lying sprawled on the carpet she shivered.

"Am I dead?" she whispered. Standing, her legs managed to carry her to the other girl. "Is this death?" She spotted Severus. "Sev, am I dead? I'm scared. I want to be dead, Sev!" she sobbed, falling to the floor in the foetal position. She held her own sweaty hand.

"This is just Ophelia," Severus whispered gently. "You're fine – you're alive,"

"I don't want to be!" Lily cried. "Make it stop!"

"It has stopped Lily," he said. But maybe it hadn't – maybe her mind was replaying the action, over and over. Inside her head everything was in black and white – the colour channel cut off to deal with the main problem – the excruciating pain that tore through her. Severus sat beside her and wondered why for her it was so great – and then he realised. Lily was the most empathetic person he knew – and here was a girl who channelled everything. Lily was feeling it worse than he, because he blocked the world out. Lily let it all in. "Lily, I'm going to do something, so that you never have to worry about this pain again, okay?" Lily nodded. "I'm sorry Lily. And now… I guess, because you won't remember this come tomorrow, I want to tell you that I… I know that you know. I've chosen the wrong side, you think. But it's okay Lily! If you choose me, we'll both be okay. Yeah?" in her state she nodded, the tears still streaming.

Severus took his wand for the third time that hour, lifted it to Lily's face.

"I love you, Lily," he said. "Obliviate!" he cried. Her eyes went blurry, and she blinked and looked around.

"Sev?" Lily said, with the saddest eyes. "Sev, I feel like crap,"

"I know, me too," Severus said. Quietly, so Lily wouldn't notice, he pointed his wand at Ophelia, and repeated the process.

"No, Sev – I… Sev I'm scared," she sobbed. "There's something wrong! What's wrong with Ophelia? SEV!"

"Calm down, Lily, it'll be okay," he whispered. "It'll be okay,"

"No, Sev – it's awful. Why do I feel like this?" Lily asked with a raspy breath.

"I don't know – Ophelia collapsed, and you must've felt her … skills too. You were unconscious for a while," Severus lied. It was the first of many regarding his now completed task.

"Oh God!" Lily screamed, forcing her crying limbs to stand. "We need to take her to the Hospital wing!" Lily ordered. He wished he could disagree, but she was still unconscious and he was worried. He hoped they wouldn't guess what had happened, and that his memory charm had been enough. Luckily the charm seemed to have stopped Potter from remembering his attack, so he calmed. Taking his wand, and levitating the unconscious figure into the air Severus stole one last look at Lily. He was surprised she was still awake and though the tears continued to stream down her face, she didn't seem to notice. The three of them made their way through the door, slowly, down the stairs and through a gaggle of curious students to the hospital wing. Everyone started – why was Lily Evans sobbing so uncontrollably? Why was there a tiny figure beneath a cloak being carried to the infirmary? Was a student dead? Was Slytherin's monster back? Rumours started spreading immediately.

It only took twenty minutes for the whispers to reach James. He was walking to Potions when he overheard two fifth years talking,  
"Yeah, she looked like she'd been tortured – huge eyes. Terrifying apparently," a dark haired Ravenclaw said.

"And the body!" another shrieked. "Who'd you think that was?"

"And that Snape kid looking really sketchy," a blonde added.

"He always looks sketchy," the first voice laughed.

"Not when he's near Evans," James' ears pricked.

"Excuse, me – what did you just say about Evans?" James asked the fifth years. They eyed him – as most people did.

"Oh yeah, she's your girlfriend, isn't she?" the dark haired girl said, glumly.

"He wishes!" Sirius laughed. The girls turned their attention to the notably available Sirius Black. He winked at them. "So what's this about Evans?"

"She was just taken into the Hospital Wing – looked like that Macdonald girl after… you know?" the blonde girl said. James felt a stabbing in his gut – he knew exactly what had happened. He looked at Sirius, who nodded, took his bag and watched as his friend launched himself in the direction of the hospital wing.

He reached the infirmary in what must've been record time – pushing through the doors, he saw Remus lying in a bed, looking weary. Holloway was behind a curtain, shouting words James didn't understand.

"Where is she?" James demanded of his friend. Remus' head was hurting but he didn't complain – he merely pointed to the curtain. "And _him_?" James spat.

"I assume you mean me, Potter?" the snarling voice of Severus Snape called. James turned and saw him stood there, leaning against a wall – he looked peaky.

"Come with me, right now," James demanded.

"No, I was just having a lovely conversation with Remus as to why he's ill," Snape hinted. It wasn't the first time he let on that he knew about Remus' condition, but right now James was really not in the mood.

"Well, then do you want to have the conversation about why on earth Lily is 'ill' right now, because I think I know exactly why!" James shouted, "Or would you rather do it in private," Snape's face dropped. He stood up straight, and nodded.

James stormed into the corridor and then straight into an empty room. Severus followed him glumly, his wand at the ready.

"Don't even think about it, Snivellus," James threatened. His wand was already aimed at the other boy. "You might have your own made up spells and unforgivable curses at your disposal but you just hurt Lily and there is no curse that is going to stop me…"

"You can't think I did that to Lily?" Severus asked. "She's my best friend,"

"I'm always beating up Sirius and he's my best friend," James said. "And yes, I think you did do it to Lily. I also think that your memory charms aren't as good as you think,"

"I don't know what you mean," Snape denied but a stone dropping in his stomach.

"Yes you do – you attacked me because I knew about your task to do that to Lily. Do you want to know why I never actually told anyone?" James asked. "Because you hadn't actually hurt Lily. I told myself that if you hadn't hurt her then you might actually care for her as a human being!"

"Oh, as if you do! You just like her because she's a piece of meat and she's the only girl who will refuse you,"

"Really? You honestly think that?" James whispered.

"I'm not the only one. It's what she says to me, when we're alone together. "Oh Sev, I hate Potter, he's a nasty git," "Oh Sev, I wish he'd just leave me alone, and understand that I'll never like him" "Oh Sev! I wish all guys could be like you,"" Severus whined.

"She doesn't think that. She doesn't hate me," James shouted, though lacking the belief in his own convictions.

"She does – and you know she does. She'll never like you," Snape muttered.

"Really? Because when you left her alone and embarrassed that day, guess who was there for her?" James said, retorting his own form of torture for the boy.

"To help her study!" Severus laughed incredulously.

"Is that what she told you? Oh Snivellus, she's having you on. We kissed. I kissed her and she kissed me back. Twice. And it was good," James laughed. "and the next day… what did you do?" he saw Severus realise. "and did she return the favour, or did she push you away?" he was laughing now. "You're pathetic; she will never love you,"

"Oh, and she'll love you, will she?" Severus glared. "You're going to keep asking her out, keep annoying her to death, until she finally agrees to date your sorry ass?"

"Yeah, pretty much," James said smugly. "You see, I have a way with women. It's just that… I don't go around performing the cruciatus curse on them! They kind of like that in a man,"

"I DIDN'T HURT HER!" Severus bellowed.

"Yes you did!" James screamed back. "You did, and you know that you'll never get her!"

"You know nothing," Severus growled. "Nothing!"

"Really? The way I see it is that she can't even stand to be near you at the moment. See, that's another funny story. She knows it was you who attacked me. She sat by my bed for a week, she shouted at me, and spoke to me, and waited whilst I may have died, all the while knowing it was you who did it,"

"She doesn't know," Severus rejected, shaking his head with black beady eyes large and worried.

"She does. Lily knows everything," James said, somewhat spitefully. "She also knew you were going to attack her,"

"What…"

"That's why she didn't want to be alone with you. She's scared of you, 'Sev'! It may take a week, or it may take a year, but one day she's going to see you for what you really are. A spiteful, unloving death eater, who is going to die alone. And me? I'm going to die looking into her eyes, at the ripe old age of 200. She won't even think about you," James spat.

"You're going to tell her?" Severus asked.

"No. She'll figure it out for herself. If I do it then she'll think I'm trying to turn her against you. When she's having nightmares and your face pops into her head… then she'll know," James growled. "Trust me, I kn,"

"I didn't attack her," he whispered, as if trying to convince herself it was true.

"I don't believe you,"

"It's the truth. The other girl – she's a metamorphmagus – she looked like Lily at the time and Rosier told me to do it. It was the only way…"

"Then why's Lily in the hospital wing being seen to?" James demanded.

"The girl… she's a reverse occlumence," Severus said, "She can project her thoughts and emotions onto others,"

"Then why aren't you feeling like shit?" James quizzed, wishing that it was he who lay in the hospital bed and not Lily.

"… you said it yourself, Potter. I'm heartless, remember?" Severus spat.

"And Lily has a heart of gold, so she probably felt it as badly as the girl…" James finished for him. "If you touch her…"

"I would never…" he vowed. Their eyes met and they both knew that they wanted the same thing – they wanted Lily safe, and if that meant protecting her from the other boy that's what he'd do. James didn't see the logic in torturing someone to protect her, but he nodded, knowing that it was the best he could have done. He may have been a death eater but he'd not taken a wand to her.

"If you so much as make her sad… I'll kill you," he promised, his eyes sharp.

"Potter, you don't have the heart to kill a man," Severus laughed.

"Why don't you ask your mate Rosier about that?" James said angrily. "I'm going – you're to stay away from her, is that clear? Until she's … sane,"

Lily was in and out of dreams. They'd given her a sleeping draught so that she could recover. She would wake occasionally and see a flicker of black hair, and shiny glasses, smile, and then fall into her sleep once more. At first she dreamt that she was at a tea party with Dumbledore who was telling her that she should propose to Peter Pettigrew. Peter was dressed as a giant white mouse, and he kept rejecting her proposals. Then Severus came in wearing the clothes of an old woman, saying 'Don't be scared of me, Lily' and she would ask him 'Why would I be scared Sev?' and then she would hear him crying out I'M SORRY LILY, and she felt the pain all over again.  
A tide – she was safe again. Lying in the sea, she looked up at the glistening moon. It was hazel coloured and moving in waves. It blinked and she was in a bath tub fully dressed, with Professor McGonagall. McGonagall was telling her she'd failed transfiguration and James Potter came over and laughed at her, because he was really good at transfiguration. She tried to show him how good at charms she was, but she'd forgotten everything she knew. She found Hagrid and he gave her a rock cake, which had real rocks in it, and she woke crying.

James was there, beside her bed. His hair was messy, and his glasses crooked – he was asleep. She looked outside the window and saw that it was dark out. Across the room she saw Remus' bed empty, and wondered why James wasn't out enjoying the full moon. In the bed beside her she saw little Ophelia. She was still sleeping, but she looked like herself now, so Lily assumed she must've woken at some point to change back into her own form.

Poking James awake was hard. He kept giggling like he was ticklish and telling Sirius to cut it out. Once more she found herself worrying about their very close friendship. "Potter!" she called. He jerked awake when she flicked his nose.

"You're up!" he said drowsily. "Hullo,"

"Why're you here?" Lily asked. "Shouldn't you be with Remus?"

"Oh," and the bugger started laughing. "It's weird being on the other side of this!" he laughed again. Lily kicked him. "You've been out for two days," Lily's faced dropped. "Weird, isn't it?" she nodded. "Holloway said it was to stop you from going… you know… insane,"

"Why would I go insane?" Lily asked.

"Someone… crucio… you," he mumbled. Lily bolted upright.

"What?" she screamed. "Who?"

"No one knows…" James lied. "But you're okay. Ophelia is too – she's awesome. Why have you never introduced us?"

"Have you been here this whole time?" Lily asked wide eyed.

"Yes," he said. "Remus understands," he comforted her, judging by her expression she felt bad for stealing Lupin's Stag. "I was chatting with Ophelia. She loves you, you know," Lily blushed, "We have a lot in common," another blush – this time James'. "Oh! I didn't mean it like that!" he laughed. "Sorry,"

"It's okay," she said, though feeling slightly awkward. "Where's Sev?" James immediately tensed up.

"He hasn't been around," James said – it was the truth, he'd warned the boy away and stayed sentient so that Snape couldn't come and hurt her again.

"Oh," Lily said, her face obviously disappointed. "I was scared…"

"I know," James said, leaning over and stroking her hair. He'd been doing it so often whilst she'd been sleeping; it was almost a surprise when Lily looked at him oddly. "Sorry,"

"No – it was nice," Lily giggled. He took that as permission and continued to do it.

"You had a few nightmares," he told her. "This helped calm you down,"

"Well, thanks," she said, turning her face from his so that he couldn't see how red she was turning.

"I've been having the house elves bring a fresh basket of croissants every half day – just in case you woke up and were hungry," he gestured to a basket at the end of her bed. There must've been about twenty croissants in there. She jumped up.

"Ahh! That makes sense," Lily said with a chuckle.

"What does?" James questioned, leaning away from stroking her and grabbing the basket for her. She picked the biggest one out at once.

"The whole Donna-bringing-me-breakfast thing the other month," Lily laughed. It had been weird to have Donna play the whole concerned friend, and Lily didn't believe it for a second.

"Oh! No… I have no idea what you're talking about…" James said shiftily, his eyes rolling around in their sockets. Lily smiled.

"You don't have to lie – it was a nice gesture. Especially after I was such a bitch," Lily said.

"You know, people are going to get the wrong idea," James said and Lily munched on her first croissant. There were crumbs everywhere.

"What do you mean?" she mumbled with a full mouth.

"Well, sticking at each other's side when we're in hospital – being nice to each other… they might think we're going out," James laughed awkwardly.

"I think the whole 'EVANS I LOVE YOU' poster in the great hall thing, and the whole wooing business you had going on mightn't have help with that," Lily laughed.

"Sorry about that – I've stopped," James admitted.

"Not out of ideas are you?" Lily gasped.

"Of course not – I just didn't think you'd like it if I transfigured all of your friends into roses," Lily burst into laughter.

"Well, you can change Marlene – she'd probably like to be a rose!" Lily chuckled. "How's Sirius, by the way?"

"You mean the break up?" Lily nodded. "Good. I think… he likes someone else,"

"Oh, he does," Lily admitted, as though it wasn't completely brand new news. She caught the look in James' face and explained herself, "He told me," she swallowed her bite of croissant. "When you were unconscious we spent a lot of time watching you sleep. He explained the entire thing to me,"

"Wait – he told you, but not me? I'm his best friend!" James whisper-shouted – it sounded like a hiss.

"James, you probably already know who it is," Lily said rationally.

"Nope… no idea," James said. Unless… "You?"

"Don't be stupid, James," she laughed. "No,"

"Then who?" he demanded. Lily looked troubled.

"_He_ has to be the one to tell you," Lily told him. "Sorry,"

"If I guess will you tell me if I'm right?" He asked.

"Sure," Lily said with a grin.

"Emmeline,"

"No,"

"Mary?"

"No,"

"Donna?"

"Don't be stupid – he hates Donna,"

"Yeah, but you know – love/hate things," James laughed.

"No," she shook her head, encouraging him on.

"Charlotte?"

"Ew, no," Lily giggled, wondering in what universe Charlotte and Sirius would end up being civil to each other, never mind romantic.

"Are they in Ravenclaw?" he quizzed.

"No,"

"Hufflepuff?"

"No,"

"Slytherin?"

"No,"

"Gryffindor,"

"Yes,"

"Fourth year?"

"Yes,"

"But I already said all the fourth…" Lily looked at him. "Oh my god," James stopped. "McKinnon?"

"No,"

"Peter?"

"No,"

"Remus?"

"No, but wouldn't that be adorable?" Lily squeaked. "I can imagine them picking out bed sheets, and Remus would try and make them as pretty as possible and Sirius would pretend not to care, but would secretly love them,"

"No, that's weird," James growled, the look of mild disgust readable on his face.

"Don't be homophobic," Lily retorted.

"I'm not being homophobic – that's just like… Remus and Charlotte,"

"Ew, that's weird," Lily laughed.

"Exactly!" he laughed. There was a silence. "Fuck," James said. "You're right… by the way…"

"About what this time?" Lily questioned him as she took a sip of a water he kept by her side since her attack.

"I could've guessed. I think I already kind of knew…" James sighed.

"Of course you did," Silence. "You okay?"

"Yeah, of course, it's still Sirius," James smiled. "It just makes sense now,"

"What do you mean?" Lily asked. "You're not being really vain by saying that, are you?"

"No!" James exclaimed. "It's just… he told me ages ago about something Remus told him,"

"Which was?"

"He's … he doesn't understand moderation,"

"That's amazingly put!" Lily praised. "He loves one thing and can't distinguish…"

"Which is why him and Marlene were practically best friends as well…" James sighed. "Fuck,"

"James,"

"Yes?"

"Don't worry about it," Lily told him. "He doesn't expect the same…" James laughed.

"Him and Severus should start a club," James chuckled.

"What? Why?" asked Lily, confusion evident in her face. Somewhere in her memories, perhaps her dream, she heard him saying "I love you"

"It could be an I-Love-My-Best-Friend Club!" James laughed again, finding more and more humour in imagining the pair wearing matching jackets.

"James – Sev doesn't," but she stopped. Was it a memory or a dream? Something that didn't even exist – Lily I love you – I'm sorry – something that wasn't even there. Something lost inside her mind. She reached out for it but it dripped away, melting as she found it in the front of her mind.

"Are you okay?" James asked quickly, noticing her gripping her head.

"Yeah – I just remembered something… I think… I think it was a dream," she mumbled.

"Don't assume that," James ordered her, "That was how my memories came back, after the attack," Lily's heart dropped.

"I've been… obliviated?" she asked sadly. She didn't want to have forgotten anything.

"It's a possibility. Either that or your mind purposefully repressed everything from that day," James informed her, knowing that such a thing could happen.

"I can't imagine how Ophelia must be feeling," she sighed, looking over to the small girl and wanting to hold her tight. How had she failed to keep her safe?

"Yes you can – you can feel it," James laughed. "Sorry – not funny,"

"Not really," Lily said. "How much work have I missed?"

"Really? _That's_ your worry? How very Classic Evans,"

"Well, it's Friday today right?" she fussed.

"Saturday in the morning, actually," James said.

"You said I was out for two days!" she hissed, not wanting to wake anyone but wishing he had been truthful with her.

"Two and a half, really," James laughed. "Sorry – at least you didn't miss an entire week!"

"True," she rationalised. With a quiet breath she said his name. "James?"

"Yes, Lily?" he said happy to be on first name terms for the minute.

"I'm scared," she mumbled, not making eye contact with him. In her mind she knew that James would think her a coward – an unworthy Gryffindor, but she needed him (the embodiment of Gryffindor spirit) to keep her safe.

"Budge up," he said, scooting out of his chair and kicking off his shoes.

"Why?" she questioned, suddenly scared.

"I'm coming into bed with you – my neck is killing,"

"But Potter! People will wonder!" Lily mocked.

"I'll get the curtain then, dear," he told her whilst walking over and pulling the green curtain to block them from the view of any possible patients or passers-by. Lily stopped for a second, and watched him do it – wondering if he was serious. When he looked down at her, she knew he was. She moved over in her cot and made room for him. He dimmed the lights with his wand, put his arm under her neck and smiled.

"You don't think me a coward for being scared? Not the soul of Gryffindor…" she whispered quietly into his chest. His shirt was soft on her cheek.

"Lily," he laughed almost silently. The only hint of his humour was the movement of his stomach.

"Yes, James?" she asked.

"Everyone gets scared," he whispered, touching his lips to the top of her head.

"Even you?" she laughed at the prospect of James Potter feeling fear.

"Regularly," he admitted. "When breaking the rules or diving on my broom or asking you out – I get terrified," she snuggled into the side of him.

"Then why do you do it so often?" above her head he smiled.

"Because it's worth it," he informed her. "Making people laugh, feeling the wind in my hair, seeing you blush – they're the things I live for," _Geez_ – Lily thought silently to herself –_ if you live for blushing you've got a lot to live for right now, Mr!_ She turned a beetroot red.

"Right," she whispered; a tight feeling in her gut.

"Night, night Evans,"

"Night Potter,"

Severus Snape stole a visit to the Infirmary Saturday morning, to ensure that Lily was okay. So far he'd managed to stay away – but he told himself it was his duty to make sure she was alive. Of course she'd be fine – he told himself in the dark night when he couldn't sleep. _She'll be fine, Potter's wrong, she won't remember, everything will be okay._ Snape lied and lied to himself, hoping that one day he'd believe it. He vowed that he would wait with her until she awoke. He knew she'd be okay. So when he headed down to the hospital wing before breakfast, and saw the curtain pulled around her bed, he was worried.

He walked towards the bed he knew to be hers and walked over to the side of the curtain. He fumbled with the edge of it, but slipped through and saw a sight he'd never wanted to see: Lily Evans sleeping cuddled up to the body of an also sleeping James Potter. He looked at the pair – how serene they looked – how perfectly she fit in the nook of his arm. Funny how he'd never even assumed he'd be there – keeping her safe in a way he doubted he could. He turned right on his heel and stormed from the room, slamming the door behind him.

The slamming of a door woke Lily. It took her a few seconds to collect herself, and gather her bearings. James Potter was lying in bed beside her – she played the memory of how it had happened in her head. His arms were still enveloping her, but she didn't mind. She snuggled into the place on his chest where her head fit perfectly and took him in. He smelt like he normally did – that odd mixture between the soil, the castle and James-ness. His glasses were askew, so she leant over and removed them, folding the arms and putting them on the bedside table. There were flowers, sweets and cards.

James woke shortly after she did. He stretched and looked down to her – his smile held a very male look but also softness. It was the kind of morning where an apt description of the sun would be golden, and the way it flitted in through the windows reminded Lily of a simpler time – I could talk in great amounts about the lingering eyes, and the ruffled sheets – the limbs tangled together and the awkward bumping of elbows. But that shan't suffice – it would be too much to assume that this was the moment Lily Evans would fall in love with him, because Dumbledore had been right – love was not built with these great and gargantuan moments, but the small smiles passing the corridor, and the removal of glasses in the early morning. To James Potter it was a start. To Lily Evans it was safety.

"Morning," he whispered.

"Morning," she returned. He sat up, wiggling to lean against the headboard. She sat up, and faced him cross legged.

"Sleep well?" he asked her, smiling. She nodded.

"Yeah, you?"

"Never slept better," he admitted. He cracked his neck left and right which made Lily squirm. "Sorry, guy habit,"

"It's gross," she said, wrinkling her nose. "We should get to breakfast,"

"No, you should get checked out by Holloway, and I should get changed – THEN we should get to breakfast," James said sternly.

"Hmm… okay," Lily agreed. James wiggled out of the bed and stretched, clicking at least four times as he did. "Guy habit?"

"Quidditch player habit that, actually," he corrected her with a grin. He slipped his shoes on, and looked at Lily who had the duvet wrapped around her – she looked like an Eskimo. "Do you want me to meet you here and walk to you breakfast?" he offered.

"Erm… yeah, sure – why not?" she said cheerfully. He tried to look nonchalant but failed and fell over the chair beside the bed.

"Awesome, I'll be back down in ten minutes," he said with a grin, and hurried out of the room.

Holloway came over to her and fussed about 1) having guests staying the night, (to which she replied that she had in fact been comatose and was not aware of the visitor – that was only half a lie) 2) how was her head feeling? 3) Are you sure you don't want to stay another night? Lily calmed him and said she was feeling fine, and enquired about Ophelia. She'd be staying in for at least another week – someone so tiny having the curse put on her (twice at least, they think) to ensure her well-being. Lily wrote the girl a note on a piece of paper she had spare in her robe pocket promising to come and visit daily. James arrived red in the face exactly ten minutes after he left and they were ready to attend breakfast.

"Ready?" James asked. Lily nodded. "You're sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine!" Lily cried out. "Honestly, stop fussing,"

"Sorry," he apologized. "Just a warning, everyone will be there,"

"Yeah – it's breakfast," Lily said.

"I mean everyone…"

"Who… Oh… you mean my attacker?" James nodded. "They're hardly going to do it again in front of everyone!" Lily smiled, but she walked the rest of the journey a little closer to James, with her hand gripping her wand.

The room went to a hush when they arrived. Whether it was because Lily had been released and details of her attack had spread through the entire school, the fact that she arrived with James Potter, or possible (and most likely) that Emmeline sprinted across the hall screaming Lily's name.

"LILY EVANS YOU ARE NEVER LEAVING MY SIGHT AGAIN!" the girl yelled. "NEVER! YOU HEAR ME?" she pulled Lily into a hug, where she couldn't see Lily laughing.

"I understand Em, now let's not make a scene," Lily assured her with a smile.

"I WILL MAKE A SCENE IF I WANT TO!" Emmeline cried. "POTTER! WHAT'RE YOU DOING?" still shouting.

"I was not letting Evans out of my sight," James laughed. "But I was doing it successfully,"

"You are relieved of your duty," Emmeline said.

"Maybe I don't want to be," James said stiffly.

"Maybe Lily doesn't want you around – DO YOU Lily?" Emmeline advanced on her.

"Well… he's… safe," Lily admitted with a blush.

"POTTER, YOU CAN STAY!" Emmeline called with a grin. "Now let us feast!" she announced. For some reason, the entire school cheered at this, picking up their goblets of pumpkin juice and toasting one another as though it was a meaningful speech that Emmeline had just made. She took a bow and led her friend and her body guard to the Gryffindor table. Sirius saw James and the ugly sadness that prevailed his face before the boy showed up vanished instantly.

"Potter! We get you back in the dorm now I suppose?" Remus and Peter laughed beside him.

"Nice to see you better Lily," Remus said.

"Yeah, did you get my card?" Peter asked.

"Yes, thanks – I loved it," Lily said with a smile. It was a hand drawn image of a wolf, a dog, a rat and a stag singing "Get well soon". James had informed her that it had been Sirius who had enchanted it to actually sing. Lily had to keep it shut by putting it underneath all of her sweets.

"How're you feeling?" Marlene asked. She passed the croissant plate over to Lily without having to be asked.

"I'm fine – really – I don't know why I was out so long," they all exchanged worried glances. "What?"

"Nothing…" Mary and Emmeline said too quickly and too simultaneously.

"What?" Lily warned. "What haven't you told me, James?"

"They thought…" Remus started.

"They thought that you'd gone clinically insane," Sirius finished. Everyone looked at him, gawping. "What?"

"Way to cushion the fall," Mary laughed.

"What do you mean, insane?" Lily demanded, her red headed anger rising to the surface.

"Well, sometimes when someone is tortured they… lose their minds," Emmeline explained.

"And you were… let's just say you weren't the Lily we knew," Marlene continued.

"You were sobbing – a lot. You kept screaming for Severus, asking him to…" Mary said.

"What?" Lily asked. "What did I ask Sev to do?" Lily cried out. People started to stare.

"You asked him to kill you," James whispered into her ear. Her heart dropped – she'd asked Severus to kill her? What kind of torture had it been that her mind had longed for the end? "You said you were scared, but you needed him to help you,"

"What else?" Lily asked.

"You told him you had no reason to live," James continued sadly.

"But of course I do!" Lily laughed. "I wouldn't say that!"

"That's why they thought you were mental," Donna said, whilst chewing on a piece of toast.

"I'm fine…" Lily said calmly. "A little… you know, put off that I wasn't told about the whole mental-sanity-lapse by some people that had plenty of time to tell me, but otherwise fine,"

"Sorry," James said.

"Plenty of time, eh?" Marlene winked.

"Where is Sev, anyway?" Lily asked in attempt to steer the conversation into a happier and less awkward territory. This didn't seem to be the right topic for such a thing however, as the entire group went awkward again.

"He didn't… come and visit," Emmeline said sadly. "I asked him why and he said he'd been busy,"

"He didn't… that doesn't seem right," Lily said sadly. Next to her James sat silently, hoping no one would ask him why Severus Snape hadn't been around – his answer would have to be 'because he knows what's good for him'. James had promised himself he wouldn't lie to Lily about it – he'd merely not tell her the whole truth.

"Yeah, well we all knew the guy was a dick," Sirius broke the tension.

"So what else have I missed?" Lily asked with a smaller smile than normal.

"Ravenclaw beat Slytherin in Quidditch yesterday, so we've basically won the house cup!" James said with a giant grin.

"What of importance did I miss?" Lily rephrased.

"Quidditch is of importance!" James argued.

"No, it's really not," Lily laughed.

"How dare you smite all I find dear?" James dramatized. "Do you not appreciate the feeling of the air styling your hair – the rush of glory?"

"Potter, that's your problem: you let the air style your hair," Lily laughed.

"Lily's never been on a broom before," Emmeline explained. "She never signed up for flying practise,"

"They need to make that compulsory," James moaned. "How can you have never flown?"

"Muggle family?" Lily suggested.

"Fear of flying," Emmeline interjected.

"Fear of…" James didn't comprehend. "Evans, I'm taking you on a broom, whether you like it or not,"

"No thanks Potter…" she said, taking a bite of her croissant.

"One day I will get you on a broom," James threatened.

"How about on our first date?" Lily suggested. "Which, by the way, is never,"

"Ouch!" James proclaimed. "That hurt Evans,"

"Sorry, do you want me to take you to Holloway for that burn?" Lily laughed, along with the rest of their group.

The rest of the week went strangely. One minute Lily would find herself sat up in bed reading to herself late into the night when what felt like minutes ago she was eating breakfast, and other times she would be sat staring at the clock hands tick slowly. Her time was split between classes, friends (who wouldn't leave her alone, as they hadn't Mary after her attack) and Ophelia. She'd be walked down to the infirmary in the evenings by one of her guard, where the three or more of them would sit around and Lily would read Pride and Prejudice to them. Ophelia particularly liked it, as she continued to point out how Mr Darcy reminded her of James. Lily was fast to stamp out this mind set – she wasn't going to have her favourite character ruined by Potter.

Lily liked spending time with Ophelia, because the girl (like Potter, unfortunately) made her feel safe. She'd been there – they'd both been through the same thing. Plus, Ophelia reminded her of how her and Petunia used to be – reading to each other, giggling and chatting harmless stories. This time she was the elder, but it made her feel like she had something to do – entertaining Ophelia and keeping her safe from whatever lay outside of the hospital doors was her duty.

It was Wednesday when Ophelia was to be released. Lily promised she'd be there straight after her transfiguration lesson to escort her back to the safety of the Gryffindor common room. McGonagall's lesson went slowly, but she finally wrapped up all about animal-object transfiguration and Lily jammed her books into her bag. Everyone had eased up on escorting her around two days ago, so Lily didn't have to wait for Emmeline or Mary to carefully place all of their notes correctly in their bags.

She was halfway to the hospital wing when she was caught up with by Severus Snape.

"Lily!" he said. She glared at him.

"So now you want to talk to me? I'm attacked, hospitalised and demanded temporarily insane and you don't talk to me for a week, is that it?" she demanded, finally having a chance to be superbly angry at him. It was an anger she hadn't even thought about since being released from the hospital wing.

"I didn't want to bother you," Severus said with his head dropped.

"So our friendship is a bother to you?" she said angrily. "I have places to be," she said, attempting to walk off, but he grabbed her arm. It hurt.

"Lily, I'm sorry – I miss you," he implored.

"And whose fault is that?" Lily exclaimed.

"Mine – always mine," Severus said sadly. "I just… saw you with Potter…"

"Saw me with Potter? What is it with you? I'm allowed to be friends with the guy," Lily cried out.

"But it's Potter…"

"So what? He was there for me when you weren't!" she yelled. Severus looked like she slapped him.

"He was more than there for you, from what I hear Lily," Severus snapped.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lily demanded.

"Snuggling with him in bed, kissing him on Valentine's Day!"

"How did you…" Snape opened his mouth to reply but she didn't hear his answer. All she heard was the resounding dream of:

"**I'm sorry Lily – Crucio!"**

"What?" Again, it happened. His mouth opened, but her own mind screamed to her.

"**Lily, I'm going to do something, so that you never have to worry about this pain again, okay? I'm sorry Lily,"** Severus' voice echoed.

"You did something…" Lily said.

"**And now… I guess, because you won't remember this come tomorrow, I want to tell you that I… I know that you know,"** Snape said.

"I know what?"

"What?" Snape questioned, looking at her as if she really was mad.

"**I've chosen the wrong side, you think. But it's okay Lily! If you choose me, we'll both be okay. Yeah?"**

"It won't be okay! You're on the wrong side!" Lily screamed. Sev looked very confused and frightened.

"**I love you, Lily,"** he said. But he didn't say it. He would never say it, because as far as Lily understood Severus could never love her humanely.

"That hardly seems relevant! You need to run!" she screamed.

"Lily, what're you going on about?" Severus said, his voice finally matching his facial movements.

"You need to go," Lily told him. "It's not relevant and it's not requited. You need to go Severus, please – save yourself,"

"What?" he begged, stepping forwards and trying to hold onto her. She shook him off.

"He's only going to hurt you! We won't be okay," she rejected her mind's screaming.

"What're you saying Lily?" he implored of her. She stopped her shrieking for a minute.

Severus attacked you. Severus loves you. Severus attacked Ophelia. Ophelia needs you right now. Severus attacked you. Severus loves you. Severus attacked Ophelia. Ophelia needs you right now. Severus attacked you. Severus loves you. Severus attacked Ophelia. Ophelia needs you right now. Severus attacked you. Severus loves you. Severus attacked Ophelia. Ophelia needs you right now. Severus attacked you. Severus loves you. Severus attacked Ophelia. Ophelia needs you right now. Severus attacked you. Severus loves you. Severus attacked Ophelia. Ophelia needs you right now. Severus attacked you. Severus loves you. Severus attacked Ophelia. Ophelia needs you right now. Severus attacked you. Severus loves you. Severus attacked Ophelia. Ophelia needs you right now. Severus attacked you. Severus loves you. Severus attacked Ophelia. Ophelia needs you right now. Severus attacked you. Severus loves you. Severus attacked Ophelia. Ophelia needs you right now. Severus attacked you. Severus loves you. Severus attacked Ophelia. Ophelia needs you right now. Severus attacked you. Severus loves you. Severus attacked Ophelia. Ophelia needs you right now.

"Ophelia needs me, I'm sorry," she said, pushing him away. He didn't stop her this time – but he watched her go, aware that whilst love could not be made by big moments, hate and distrust could be.

The remaining walk to the hospital wing posed enough time for Lily to compose her features and her thoughts into something somewhat comprehendible. Though Severus loves you and Severus attacked you appear on the surface to be two mutually exclusive things, it explained a lot. He had not attacked Lily, but someone that looked like Lily – he had not attacked her directly. But he had brought Ophelia into the situation – something she could never forgive him for. But he did love her – or at least he supposed he did, so there was still hope for him. She could still save him.


	7. Chapter 7 Bad ReBeginnings

**7. Bad Re-Beginnings **

**Fifth Year:**

Many things came of the schooling year 1975-6.

**For James and the marauders it meant:**

Finishing the map, (but too late to save _her)_

Finishing the transformation into being Animagi

Establishing Messrs Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

Their OWL examinations

Coming clean

A near death experience with Severus Snape

Falling in love / and out (and in and out)

The Fall Out

The First Battle of the War

**For Lily it meant:**

Her OWL examinations

Keeping secrets

Sleeping in James Potter's bed

Kissing a stranger

Losing a sister

Losing a friend

Losing an owl

Finding that Dumbledore is wiser than she ever credited him for

Discovering herself

The First Battle of the War

**For Emmeline it meant:**

Finally kissing the boy she had fancied for years

Falling out with a good friend

Breaking 5 school rules in one night

The First Battle of the War

**For Severus Snape it meant:**

The end of hope

The beginning of 'Always'

The First Battle of the War

The journey from Platform 9 ¾ to Hogsmeade Station was possibly the most hectic Lily had ever experienced in her Hogwarts schooling. Everything seemed to be louder, there seemed to be a lot more people, no one seemed to know where any one was – and Lily had to attend a prefects meeting. She was happy (and unsurprised) to see Remus sitting in the prefects compartment five minutes before they were all scheduled to meet reading their Defence Against the Dark Arts set textbook for the year. Across from his was Severus, who greeted her with a stiff smile, and returned to an obviously unwilling conversation with the 5th year Slytherin prefect, Kiri Odessa. Kiri was a beater on the Quidditch team, and she and Lily had shared the occasional conversation. Lily smiled at the girl also, and sat beside Remus.

"Hullo, Lily. Good summer?" Remus asked, closing his book and putting it on the seat between him and the window.  
"Yes thanks, it was quite busy. I went to Germany and we toured Berlin," Lily said excitedly. "You?"  
"Oh, I didn't do much really. I was over James' a lot, as is the norm," Remus said. "Congratulations, by the way,"  
"You too! It was obviously going to be you," Lily laughed.  
"Oh yes, between James, Sirius, Peter, and McKinnon I think they needed someone to calm them down,"  
"Adam's not that bad, is he?" Lily laughed.  
"He's all fine, until you put him in a mental environment – and well… he shares a dorm with us," Remus said. The door slid open behind them – Ulysses Blaise (a chap that Mary had once been on a date with, fairly attractive) walked in holding hands with his girlfriend of over a year, Amie Courlette. The pair smiled at the four already in the compartment and settled in beside Lily.

"Hullo Lily, Remus," Ulysses said with a smile. "Good summers?" and the general small talk started up once more. The small compartment filled up with people – the last to arrive was Katrina McCormack, who excused her tardiness by explaining about her "friendship" with some sixth year called Greg. Alice Griffiths exclaimed with a giggle – apparently Greg was a bit of a womanizer.

The Heads did their talking, explaining to the new prefects about how rounds worked, and talking about changes to the rules to everyone. Severus didn't look away from Lily, who was in turn taking in everything Sabrina Miller was saying about Zonko's products – "Don't confiscate them, people will hate that. Just tell them to put it away!" Remus and the majority of the fifth year prefects (excluding the clueless Katrina McCormack) were paying close attention to everything that was being said. Eventually the time came to return to their friends, and Lily (bidding Severus a quick farewell, and promises of a catch up in the library tomorrow) walked with Remus down to the end of the train.

"How's Em?" Remus asked, trying to sound calm, but Lily noticed the blush on his cheeks.

"She's great – her great aunt died over the summer, but she's feeling better now. She also got her cat in the will,"

"Oh, that's terrible!" Remus said sadly.

"Yes – but a girl's night in, listening to John Lennon and Paul McCartney, with a tub of ice cream helped," Lily laughed – Remus joined in.

"Did you want to join us?" Remus asked as they came to a stop outside the marauder's carriage. Lily noticed that James was absent, and wondered what mischief he would be getting up to today.

"No, I really should go and find the girls," Lily said. "Say hi to the boys for me,"

"Will do," Remus smiled, opened the carriage door, and went in.

"No Lily?" Sirius asked, looking sadly as the girl walked right past them.

"No, she's gone to fine Emmeline and the girls," Remus said, his stomach sank at the thought of Emmeline. He hadn't seen her in weeks! "Where's James?"

"Off with Parkinson," Peter said with a groan.

"She's back?" Remus said, astounded.

"She's more than back, mate. They were together the entire time we were in France. Honestly!" Sirius sighed.

"Why was she in France, too?" Remus asked – he didn't really understand the entire pure-blooded family do's as much as Sirius did.

"Her mum is cousins of the Headmistress of Beauxbatons. Of course, she sought out James the seconded we flooed in. She came right to us, ignored me completely and demanded he walk with her. I had to take our bags to our villa with Grace and Alex,"

"And do momma and dada Potter approve?" Remus questioned.

"No," Sirius spat. "At first she was just annoying, but then she became vicious. Do you know how much Lily-hate I had to listen to?"

"Ouch,"

"I figured – give it the summer. It didn't last the last time, why would it now? But he's… he's there with her now!" Sirius cried. "Bloody well dropped his trunk off, and went right to her,"

"Well, maybe he likes her?" Remus suggested, "Is that such a bad thing?"

"Yes! Of course it is! There are two people in the world I will allow James to be with and neither one of them are Charlotte Parkinson,"

"Wait until he sees Lily," Remus calmed his friend.

"Why? The sight of her isn't going to change anything," Sirius said with a grimace.

"Coming from someone who hasn't seen Lily today," Remus laughed. "She… became less studious-ginger and more Ginger Rogers,"

"Lily got hot?" Sirius laughed. "Well… hotter!"

"This I have to see!" Peter piped in.

"Have to see what?" James asked, as he shut the door behind him and jumped onto Sirius' lap.

"Lily got hot," Sirius chuckled once more. "Really hot, apparently,"

"What? Have you seen her?" James jumped up.

"How's Charlotte?" Remus asked slyly.

"When did you see Lily?" James ignored, asking around to each of his friends. His glasses were crooked on his face, and Sirius had to straighten them. James pushed a hand through his hair – it was quite long now, Remus noted. Not as long as Sirius' but longer than it had once been.

"She's a prefect, I saw her in the meeting," Remus finally caved in.

"Oh – cool," James stopped jumping. "So, how hot are we talking?"

"I don't know… go and find her, I'm sure she'd like to catch up," Remus told him.

"I can't – Charlotte would kill me," James replied, frowning.

"Then should you really be asking?" Peter laughed.

"You're right, Pete," James proclaimed. "I am with Charlotte now – she is gorgeous and funny,"

"She's not funny mate – I've seen butternut squashes with a better sense of humour," Sirius told James.

"Well, she's… smart," he muttered disbelievingly.

"No," Peter said.

"Then she's a nice conversationalist," James thought.

"Not at all – she is just awful, mate," Remus added.

"Well… she's gorgeous!" James shouted.

"Lily's hot," Sirius muttered miserably.

"And smart, and funny, and a brilliant conversationalist, and caring, and fantastic," Remus continued. He was with Sirius on this one – James and Charlotte was a bad mix.

"And completely unattainable, and thinks I'm a jack ass, and friends with Severus Snape, and totally up herself," James listed the things, ticking them off his fingers.

"You're right… you'd never get her," Remus ended with a laugh.

"What happened at the end of last year? You were getting somewhere!" Sirius moaned.

"And then I didn't hear from her all summer," he sighed.

"You didn't exactly stay pure for the girl," Peter pointed out, as he noticed a patch of pink lipstick on his shirt collar. Good thing he'd be changing into his school robes soon, the boy thought.

"And she spent all summer with Snape," Potter groaned.

"Remus was asking about you," Lily boasted calmly to Emmeline. The other girl bolted upright.

"What? You saw him?" Emmeline demanded.

"Oh sorry – didn't I mention? He's the male prefect," Lily said with a chuckle.

"Obviously," Donna and Marlene chorused.

"What did he ask?" Emmeline implored.

"Just how you were," Lily shrugged.

"And what did you say?" Emmeline drummed, her voice getting higher with each passing second.

"Just how you were," Lily repeated with a laugh.

"Which is?" she pressed on.

"Mental, apparently," Lily said. The other girls laughed.

"Yeah? Well I saw Potter," Emmeline threatened, her eyebrow raised with the challenge of 'I know something you don't,'

"Oh that's nice, dear," Lily patronized. "How is he?"

"Really brilliant," Emmeline continued. "Do you want to know why?"

"You can tell me if you want to," Lily chuckled, happy to have gained the one up on her.

"Then tell me word for word what Remus said," Emmeline said viciously.

"You know what?" Lily questioned her friend. "I'd rather keep it a secret," Emmeline burst out into shards of anger.

"He got really good looking, Lil," Em said. "You might even…"

"Fancy him?" Lily laughed.

"Lily doesn't like guys for looks, Em, remember?" Marlene pitched in. "Else she wouldn't be mates with Snape,"

"Don't be mean to Snape," Lily said sternly.

"You don't even like him that much anymore!" Marlene argued.

"Actually, we had a great summer – the friendship is back on track!" Lily smiled.

"How good-looking is good-looking, by the way?" Donna asked from behind her magazine.

"On a scale of 1-10? He used to be an 11, now he's 20," Emmeline replied, her eyes firmly trained onto Lily.

"Don't exaggerate," Lily instructed, but no one listened to her. Donna was took busy thinking about just how hot Potter would be and everyone else was concentrating on their own issues.

"Did you see Sirius?" Marlene asked.

"Yes," Emmeline sighed.

"How is he?" Marley asked.

"The same as before,"

"And how was that?" pushed Marlene eagerly.

"Anxiously loved up and semi-heartbroken," Emmeline said noncommittally. Marlene jumped up.

"What?" the girl exclaimed.

"Don't be harsh, Em," Lily intervened. "She doesn't mean… you Marr,"

"Wait… Sirius likes someone else?" Marlene said, her eyes filling with glossy tears.

"Are you that blind?" Donna asked from her corner.

"Yes, Marley. Sirius likes someone else…" Lily said. "But I don't think it's any of our places to tell you,"

"What? No! You have to tell me!" Marlene cried. "I'm your best friend!"

"It's really personal, Marr – go and ask him yourself," Emmeline told her.

"Fine then! Maybe I will. And I'm going to see just how hot Potter got!" Marlene said furiously.

"I'll come!" Donna exclaimed, hopped up from her seat and followed a seething Marlene down the corridor. With the banging of the door shutting, Mary (who had been curled up sleeping for the past hour) was immediately awake.

"What was that?" She cried; her wand ready. Mary had been very jumpy since being attacked by dark magic last year. She still hadn't gotten over her fears – Lily empathised.

"Just the door close, Mare," Emmeline comforted. "You okay?"

"Only very hungover," Mary laughed, sitting up and grabbing her head. "Got any water?" Lily looked around and noticed they didn't. Quickly transfiguring a chocolate frog card into a goblet, she filled it with Agumenti water and handed it to Mary. The blonde drank it thankfully, reapply the charm when she had drunk the lot. "What's been happening?" she asked finally.

"Potter got hot and Marlene is asking Sirius who it is he fancies," Emmeline laughed.

"It's not funny, Em," Lily warned.

"It is a little bit, Lil," Mary agreed. "And… how hot are we talking?"

The intrusion of Marlene and Donna caught the Marauders completely unaware. James was practising the guitar (something he'd taken up in attempt to woo Lily, but had kept because he liked it), Peter was singing along badly and watching James with awe, Sirius was doing a magical crossword puzzle, and Remus was sketching on a spare piece of parchment. When the door flew open the four of them looked wildly at one-another as James screamed:

"WE SOLUMLY SWEAR WE ARE UP TO NO GOOD!" Sirius laughed.

"We're not really – we're being really good," Remus admitted. "See – sketching," he told Donna.

"Sirius, can I talk to you for a second?" Marlene asked, gesturing to the corridor.

"Sure… let me just…" he wrote down a letter into his puzzle. "Seven letters, two k's – what is this moment right now?"

"AWKWARD," Peter laughed. Marlene glared at him and pulled Sirius into the corridor, leaving Donna looking intently at James.

"Can I help you?" he asked after a minute.

"Oh – sorry. Emmeline was right, you did get better looking," Donna laughed.

"What?" he demanded both flattered and outraged.

"We were discussing how hot you got," Donna admitted. "Lily doesn't believe that you could go from an 11 to a 20 in just a few weeks, but here's the proof. Did you grow?"

"A 20?" James asked, impressed. "They do say a taken man is a sexier man,"

"Taken?" Donna asked, sensing gossip.

"Oh, yes – Charlotte and I are… together…" he said.

"So that's what Emmeline was hinting about!" Donna pieced together.

"She didn't tell Lily did she?" James asked, bemused.

"No, she hinted – Lily refused to tell her about Remus so she hid the information,"

"Emmeline asked about me?" Remus interjected with his eyes wide.

"Yes, Lupin – she's fancied you for yonks – just ask her out," Donna moaned as if this news bored her. Even the gossiping Donna was annoyed by such old knowledge.

"Er…" the boy said, blushing red.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOVE HIM?" Marlene's voice shouted from outside in the corridor. James could see Sirius with his hands fidgeting awkwardly.

"Marley! Calm down!" Sirius said, loud enough for them to hear.

"I don't think we should listen to this," James muttered, flicking his guitar strings.

"SO HE IS THE REASON YOU BROKE UP WITH ME?" Marlene cried.

"OF COURSE HE WAS! WHO ELSE COULD IT HAVE BEEN? YOU'RE FANTASTIC…"

"I'm just not James Potter," Marlene resigned finally. Donna's eyes shot to James who (despite having returned to his guitar) had wide and weary eyes. There was a loud bang as Sirius' fist made violent contact with the wall and he stormed off. Neither of them returned for the rest of the journey, but Donna did mutter mindless excuses about having to find Marlene, and left herself.

There was silence for a while, whilst James sat, shell-shocked and locked in thought – he already knew of course. Lily had told him last year, whilst she'd been in the Hospital Wing. It was just an entirely different experience to have it screamed right in front of him – in front of his friends and the entire train.

"You alright, James?" Remus asked after a twenty minute interval of silence.

"Yeah, I just can't get this chord right," James groaned in frustration, his fingers were held perfectly, but it didn't work.

"You have to bar it," Peter told him – he'd had lessons for two years before starting Hogwarts. "That's it," he encouraged.

"Thanks, mate," James smiled and played the chord. "Where do you think he is?"

"Probably chucked himself off the back of the train," Peter joked. James' eyes widened with fear.

"He's joking – Sirius may be mental but he wouldn't do that," Remus said, though not totally sure himself. Sirius had been acting weirdly all summer – they put it down to family problems, but it was still worrying for him.

"The train is stopping," James noted.

"You'll see him at the feast, James," Remus said, calming his friend.

"Yeah – Sirius wouldn't miss the feast!" Peter continued.

"You're right… he loves the humbugs," James laughed.

"There is something that I must tell you," Dumbledore's voice spoke out. The sorting was finished, and everyone was anxiously awaiting the feast – but this took them all by surprise. Dumbledore never started the year with the bad news that everyone knew was happening around them. Whilst they were in Hogwarts they had the choice to be ignorant of the war – not that many people did.

"There is a war coming – it has been coming for years now. Some may say that you are only children, and _many _would count me a fool for telling you this – but some of you will be fighting with (and sadly against) us. I am telling you this because, whether this is your first year at Hogwarts, or your last – it is your home, and we fight to protect it. We protect it for you, your children, their children – we protect it for the brilliant wizards who do not agree with Lord Voldemort's methods and ideals. But first, I impart a warning – any dark arts or behaviour directly or indirectly related to the Death Eater movement will be quenched. Expulsion will be immediate, and imprisonment likely," Dumbledore finished the speech and the room was silent – only the hissing of candles and rumbling of stomachs audible. "But for now, we feast and we sit thankful for the food on our plates and the comfy bed we rest in,"

When the feast came the life was cast back into the room, and the chatter started. Hungry students gorged themselves on an array of fabulous foods presented by the house elves, and caught up with their friends. Sirius was sat beside James, and though he was quieter than normal (and very obviously avoiding eye contact with James and all forms of contact with Marlene) he still told his normal jokes and ate enough food for four. James searched the table for familiar faces. He saw Adam McKinnon chatting and joking with Frank Longbottom and Alice Griffiths; he saw Emmeline whispering in Lily's ear – then he saw Lily herself. She looked up and made eye contact with him. They lingered there for what felt like an eternity, but Em nudged her and she dropped her gaze. His knife fell out of his hand and clattered to the floor.

"Oh James," Charlotte laughed, high pitched. "You're so clumsy,"

"Yes – quite," James agreed. "Remus?"

"James?" Remus said between mouthfuls of mashed potato.

"Remember that thing you said on the bus? About the thermal energies of a certain someone?"

"Vaguely," Remus laughed. He recognized James' use of muggle sciences to avoid detection by the obviously clueless Charlotte.

"I agree, and it's giving me tummy ache," James moped.

"Oh Jamie! Are you okay?" Charlotte fussed. Sirius' head shot up at this.

"Jamie?" Sirius scoffed.

"It's a pet name," Charlotte retorted.

"He hates it," Sirius said without even having to look at James' face to know.

"No he doesn't – do you Jamie?" Charlotte said turning to Sirius.

"I hate it," James agreed with Sirius.

"Fine!" Charlotte cried out, exasperated.

"What's wrong now?" James asked sullenly.

"I thought we promised you weren't going to just take their side over mine!" Charlotte whispered, so that neither Remus, Sirius of Peter could hear her.

"I never agreed to such a thing. I'll take the side of whoever I agree with. I hate being called Jamie," he said simply.

"Then why didn't you say anything?" Charlotte moaned.

"You never asked," James finished. "Have you tried the treacle tart?"

"I hate treacle, James," Charlotte stopped. James didn't need the familiar flicking of his eyes over to the staring Lily Evans to know that she was eating treacle tart. However, his eyes found her – looking over to the Slytherin table with a sad look in her eyes. They seemed bigger, and greener – her hair had grown and he supposed she had it styled – it framed her face beautifully. Maybe her face had just thinned out or she'd adopted a thin layer of makeup, but whatever it was James couldn't look away.

"Evans looks like a tart," Charlotte muttered, noticing James' direction. He dropped his eyes and turned away, just as she turned to him.

"No she doesn't," the four marauders said in sync.

"She looks… thermal," Remus said.

"What?" Charlotte sassed.

"She looks hot, really hot," Sirius laughed.

"No she doesn't, does she _James_?" Charlotte demanded.

"Don't bring me into this," James answered taking a bite from his tart.

Lily couldn't look away from James Potter. Emmeline was right, he was suddenly… handsome. The childish mirth of his good looks had faded, though not completely – his glasses suited his face better, his cheekbones were more defined, and his hair was a little longer. He was sat with a sad faced Sirius and Charlotte Parkinson. There seemed to be some sort of argument going on that James (who was sat between the pair) obviously didn't want to partake in. He'd been looking at her – hadn't he? Charlotte was going red in the face and Sirius was torn between laughter and rage. Lily watched as James stood, removed himself from the bench and walked out of the Great Hall. Many eyes were on him as he stormed from the room, pushing a hand through his already messy hair.

"Look what you've done!" Charlotte yelled at Sirius and ran off to follow James. He pushed her away and said something Lily couldn't hear from this distance. Sirius dropped his head to the table and violently started banging it against the wood.

"Lil!" Mary called. She'd zoned out.

"Huh?" Lily said, jumping from her reverie.

"Marlene was asking if you agree with 11-20?" Mary said. Lily cottoned on immediately.

"Well, he… yeah, maybe like… a 7 or …" Lily stuttered.

"Oh my god!" Marlene exclaimed. "You think he's hot!" The girls all stared intently at the continuously blushing redhead, and applauded.

"Well done, Lily! Finally, you've seen the error of your ways!" Donna laughed.

"Now you'll have to say yes when he asks you out!" Mary giggled. "Ouch! Em, what was that for?" but Emmeline said nothing – she just gave Mary a look that read 'shut up'. "Sorry… ermm…"

"Guys, I don't think he's _that_ hot…" Lily lied.

"You guys talking about Potter?" Alice Griffiths said, leaning away from her conversation with Frank and Adam McKinnon.

"Lily fancies him!" Donna said.

"I do not!" she cried indignantly.

"You'd be mad not to. Even Frank and Adam said they fancy him a little bit," Alice laughed. Behind her the boys nodded.

"Honestly, I have to share a dorm with him," Adam said, directly to Lily. "I don't know how I'm going to get to sleep knowing that is sleeping in the bed opposite," everyone laughed – Marlene in particular.

"Sirius doesn't look too happy, does he?" Alice said with a frown.

"Did you not hear about the train incident?" Mary asked.

"Nope, Frank and I were…" Alice blushed. "At the front of the train..." Frank winked at Adam.

"Well, hormones aside – Marlene confronted Mr Black about his crush…"

"Why would you do that?" Alice exclaimed. "He's not…"

"He broke up with her without telling her why and then got over it within seconds," Donna explained.

"We wanted to tell her, but we figured it would be better coming from Sirius," Emmeline added.

"But Marlene got a little rallied about it, and decided to shout… it… right outside the compartment," Mary continued to explain. Marlene's hands were dropped, blushing in her face.

"Okay, it's not my fault! I thought I'd turned the bugger gay!" she cried loudly. Even some Hufflepuffs turned around to see what she was talking about.

"He's not gay," Frank laughed.

"He fancies Potter!" Marlene cried.

"Yes – but Potter's his best friend, plus he's a great chap. Sirius obviously has problems…" Frank mumbled tactlessly.

"Basically, what my darling boyfriend is trying to say is that Sirius doesn't necessarily love James, it's just that he sees him a security blanket – someone that will always be there, someone that will joke with him, and let's face it – he's hot!" Alice laughed. Marlene looked confused. "Do you get it?"

"I suppose – it makes sense. He's always trying to help Potter get Lily, which he probably wouldn't do if he was… you know,"

"Sirius said he ships the SS Jily," Lily said quietly – unfortunately everyone heard. "What does that mean?"

"Who knows?" Alice laughed. "C'mon Lil," Alice said, standing with Frank. "Prefect duties!" Lily shot her friends an apologetic look.

"I'll meet you guys in the dorm!" Lily promised and followed Alice out of the door.

James heard the first years before he saw them. He was lounging on the couch in the common room, his head on one arm, and his feet on the other. Counting the colours of the tapestry opposite him, James had managed to block out all thought from his mind. The fifteen minute silence in which he was alone in the common room calmed him, but nothing could prepare him for the gust of lead that replace the oxygen in the room when he heard her speaking.

"Girl's dorm is up to the left, boy's on the right," she called kindly. Footsteps and excited laughter followed, with her sighing. "James?" she asked, spotting him there on the sofa.

"Lily?" he replied, his eyes clamped shut and his heart beating too fast.

"What's up?" she tried to sound calm, but he noticed a breathlessness to her.

"A badly painted ceiling?" James suggested without laughter.

"Why did you leave the feast early?" Lily rephrased.

"Walk with me?" James found himself saying. He sat up quickly, his head spinning due to lack of air, and the fact that seeing her up close was worse than far away. She looked beautiful. "We have over an hour until curfew,"

"Er, okay – sure," Lily smiled, with a small blush at the tips of her cheekbones. That stopped him.

"What?" James asked in disbelief.

"I said okay," Lily laughed. Standing up, he cooled down.

"Okay… that's cool; let's go, before everyone…" James said but didn't finish. He simply followed a skipping Lily from the portrait hole.

He saw Remus leading a few strangling first years through to the common room but avoided his gaze. Pushing Lily faster down an empty corridor, he shook himself into thought.

"Hey," he said, throatily.

"Hi," she replied, licking her lips.

"You okay?" he asked.

"What are we doing?" Lily said hopelessly.

"We're walking," James pointed to his feet. "Look, one foot in front of the other. You're doing it too,"

"Yeah but… it's us. We tear each other's hair out, and sit beside them in the Hospital wing. We don't walk…" Lily said.

"I… I don't know – but you've given me an idea!" James said, stopping in his tracks, a scary smile forming on his face.

"What?" Lily asked worriedly.

"Just wait here!" James said, running back from the corridor they'd just come down. "I'll be right back!" he called.

Lily was only waiting for a minute, slumped against the completely void corridor wall, listening to the portraits chattering about her. Then she saw James, running towards her, waving a long twig in his hands. She took the sight in as he came to a halt in front of her and held out his arm. Taking it, she allowed him to help her up and looked from his eyes to the broomstick.

"No," she said sternly.

"Yes!" James replied happily. "You said that I could take you flying on our first date – and a date constitutes as two people, alone doing an activity. Ergo, we're on a date. We're going flying," James explained – she didn't understand.

"This doesn't count as a date," Lily argued.

"What is it then?" James challenged her.

"A non-romantic walk through the castle," Lily told him.

"Please?" he pleaded. Maybe it was her mischievous spirit kicking in, or maybe it was the look in his hazel eyes as he fluttered them at her, but she found herself nervously biting her lip and nodding. Triumph crossed his face in the form of a grin. He grabbed her hand, called out "hold on," kicked the nearest window open and jumped out, holding onto her.

Lily screamed with a pair of lungs she wasn't aware she had. As they hurtled towards the ground, James hopped onto the Nimbus and pulled Lily in front of him. Her screaming ceased as she ran out of oxygen, but she found another lungful and began to do it again.

"Shhh," he shouted into her ear. "This isn't necessarily against the rules, but do you really want to get caught?" she clamped her mouth shut quickly.

James steered the broom around, and they were facing the castle. Lily's breath was taken away. Hogwarts from seventy feet up was even more beautiful than from the ground. She saw towers she never knew existed – the moon raised just over the lake, setting rippling silver shadows on its shore. They flew over the edge of the forbidden forest, the night wind mussing her hair. Though she was terrified she couldn't close her eyes – they shot through the smoke drifting from the chimney of Hagrid's hut. The lights of the school shone against the dark stone like stars. James twisted the broom again and they were hurtling towards the Quidditch pitch – they soared over the crowds and around the goals. Gliding back to the castle, James forced the broom up and they were way above the roof of the highest towers.

Spotting a flat part of roof to the west, James headed towards it and pulled the broom to slowing down. Gently he removed his arms from around Lily's waist and stepped off the Nimbus. Lily did the same, her legs unable to support her weight, she stumbled into him. He caught her, pulling her up to standing and not taking his eyes from hers.

"So, what do you think?" James asked her, kneeling down on the landing.

"You're fantastic… I mean… the flying," Lily blushed. "It was beautiful,"

"I agree," he said, staring at her. In his eyes was the same considerate caring that had been in his eyes the night she'd woken in the Hospital wing.

"So how was your summer?" Lily asked with a smile, looking away from him and over the grounds. It was spectacular.

"Fairly, dull. I went to France with my family and Sirius," James said.

"Oh, wow! Did you see the sights?" Lily asked.

"No – I'm half French, Lil. I had my fill of "the sights" when I was about seven. We go there every year," he explained. "The headmistress of Beauxbatons was retiring, and mother was invited to her party. It was… okay," James sighed.

"That's awesome!" Lily exclaimed. They were staring at one another again. "I love France,"

"Me too – c'est magnifique," James said. "My mum's French," he explained upon seeing Lily's confused expression. "She raised me with the language and culture,"

"I thought she was in Ravenclaw?" Lily remembered from their first meeting. This seemed to stop James in his tracks who narrowed his eyes and looked at her.

"You remembered that?" James asked. Lily nodded. "She transferred in third year," James explained, "But she misses it there – we can only go for a few weeks at a time,"

"Was it good fun?" Lily asked, enthralled at this new side to James – the French speaking, cultured side.

"Yes – Sirius was with us, so it wasn't too boring. We stayed in this small manor that my Gran gave us when she died…" Lily choked. "You okay?"

"Sorry, I forget that the Potter's are pureblood royalty," Lily scoffed. She thought of her own house in Cokeworth and the tent they camped in on holidays.

"Yes, well – this is my mum's side so it was the Rosier's," James explained.

"Wait, you're related to Lestat and Evan?" Lily gasped. She recalled his hatred for the former in their third year – that was a very un-pureblood thing to do. Family throughout.

"_Unfortunately_ they are my cousins," James said, going stiff.

"Why… is that bad?" Lily asked. She was almost completely foreign at pureblood politics.

"Our families don't… get along," James said enigmatically. "My gran didn't like her son's wife because she was a Black, so (despite the fact that my dad is a blood traitor) all of the things of worth came to us,"

"So what did Mr Rosier get?" Lily asked.

"Nothing – he's dead," James told her numbly.

"Oh," she mumbled.

"Don't say sorry," James instructed immediately.

"Why not? Isn't that the normal thing to do?" Lily asked – she hadn't been planning on doing that, personally she didn't understand why people did, but his distaste for the matter confused her.

"But sorry infers a wrong doing. His death was… righteous," James explained vaguely.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, wondering how any death could be described as righteous.

"When Cornell Rosier was killed he was found torturing an innocent woman and her child. Would you call that righteous?" James challenged her.

"No one deserves to die…" Lily said, unsure of herself and her ideals. James had gone strangely still and it unnerved her. Only minutes before he had been thrumming with the energy of flying.

"And yet he was inflicting it upon someone else," James told her.

"An eye for an eye and the world would be blind," Lily quoted.

"His life for the _many_ he took, the _many_ he was trying to take and the _many_ he would have taken?" James pleaded – there was something about the tone of his voice that implored for forgiveness and a shared opinion of the just nature of Rosier's death.

"I'm sure his sons don't see it that way," Lily said pointedly.

"They… don't know _how_ he died," James added stranger still.

"And you do?" she quizzed, unsure of how that worked.

_I was there._ He thought to himself.

"My mum told me all about it. She's an auror," he lied quickly.

"She was there?" Lily asked, shocked.

"Yes," the look in James' eyes had turned bleary and sad. Lily reached out and touched his hand.

"And what happened to the woman, and her child?" she asked softly.

"The woman recovered, eventually – the child… had help, to forget. He still has help to forget," James' head was dropped.

"Why?" she whispered.

"Because it was he who killed Rosier," James shivered.

"What?" Lily exclaimed. "How? He was just a child… Rosier was… a death eater?"

"Seven years old – do you remember how you were at seven years old? What you would've done for your mother?" Lily thought about it and nodded. "A child sees the mother as a god – his mother was being harmed and he was the only one around to save her. The boy lost control of his magic, stole a wand… he learnt the spell from Cornell himself,"

"How long ago was this?" Lily gaped.

"Eight years, I think," James counted – Lily did the same.

"So the boy… he could go to Hogwarts?" Lily cried out.

"You assume so quickly that they didn't lock him up?" James questioned her, looking straight into her eyes.

"Well… it was uncontrollable magic – they don't take notice to that anyway. And it was in self-defence," Lily counted up the logic. They wouldn't have sent the child to Azkaban. Something inside her willed that they didn't.

"So you're agreeing with the murder?" James laughed incredulously.

"I'm agreeing with the law," Lily told him.

"What if the law is unjust? What if the boy was meant to go down?" James half shouted. Lily put her head on the boy's shoulder.

"A seven year old isn't _meant_ to do anything – a child shouldn't be fated to live a certain life," Lily said.

"You were right, by the way," James stopped.

"About what?" Lily asked softly, noticing as James shook the melancholy from his body and putting an arm around her shoulders.

"Sirius – he does… you know," James said.

"I know," Lily replied. "You okay about it?"

"It's just a shock – I'll be fine," James said. "I never did ask… how was your summer?"

"Boring – we went to Germany which was cool, I guess. The muggle world will be the muggle world though. Once you know Hogwarts you can't find the same happiness in that kind of stuff,"

"What did you do in Germany?" James asked softly.

"We looked at all of the war memorials and stuff. Experienced some of the culture – we went dancing,"

"War memorials?" James asked. "What was that like?"

"Terrifying. The amount of names… and this war we're in. Mum, dad and Tuney didn't understand why I was… on edge," Lily admitted.

"Are you scared of death, Lily?" James asked her, whilst looking upon the stars. He wondered if it was past curfew, but realised the likelihood of someone catching them up here was very slim.

"Very," Lily said with a shiver. He held her tighter. "You spend your whole life trying to be immortal, but eventually someone or something will beat you,"

"I disagree," James whispered in her ear. "I believe that the last enemy to be destroyed is death. It is us who conquer it, not vice versa," Lily looked up at him. He thought about her – how he'd wanted her from the beginning, and how he'd almost had her every time. His thoughts went to Charlotte.

"We should get back," Lily said suddenly. "It's cold," James smiled. He would've offered her his cloak, but he was only wearing his thin school robes and a thin black t-shirt with a lipstick stain on the collar.

"Okay," James whispered. He stood up and grabbed his broom. Mounting it, he showed Lily how to do the same, and he kicked off from the ground. His arms were around her, keeping her somewhat warmer than she would have been. They flew around the castle once, and James navigated back to the open window they had left through. They landed easily and quieter than they had left. James let Lily down and smiled at her.

"Thank you," Lily said, her heart pumping in her throat.

"My pleasure, Lily," the way he said her name made her blush. Maybe Emmeline was right – maybe now was the time to give James a chance. He looked down at her, she'd grown slightly and they were almost eye to eye. Slowly moving forward Lily closed the gap, her heart thumping, awaiting the familiar kiss. But instead….

"Lily," James said, his heart evident in his throat. His face was not far from her own, and his lips were open, but his eyes were shut and scared.

"Yes?" Lily said, a little hurt, moving away from him.

"Charlotte was at the party," he told her. Lily didn't understand what or why he was telling her this. Surely he knew about their mutual dislike for one another?

"What?" Lily asked.

"The retirement ball? Charlotte was there," James explained, hoping Lily would catch on before he had to tell her. No such luck.

"Why are you telling me…?" Lily asked, taking a step away from James. She tumbled over the broomstick, but managed not to fall flat on her face.

"I kissed her," James told her. It was like a hit to the stomach.

"Again, why are you…?" Lily asked defensively_. I kissed her, I kissed her, I kissed her. _And to think she'd fallen for his nice guy act.

"We…" James started, but Lily felt sick with the possible ways that the sentence could end.

"I really don't want to know, Potter," Lily said, shaking her head. She wanted to go and punch Emmeline for telling her that she should go for James.

"Not like that!" James said, as though the idea sickened him too. There was a glistening to his eyes that Lily avoided looking at.

"What then?" Lily demanded.

"We spoke," James said slowly.

"And?" asked Lily. Her arms were crossed across her stomach. Why did she allow anyone to talk her into trying things out with James? Then she remembered the behaviour on the train and at lunch – not once had Emmeline told her she should go out with James. Mary had done that and Emmeline had discouraged her. The reason James was happy? Lily would have bet that the gossip was that Emmeline knew about the following piece of information.

"She's my girlfriend," another punch to the gut. James looked at her – his heart aching with that rejection clear in her face.

"And why are you telling me?" she asked, dropping her head.

"Because if you want me to, I'll leave her," he told her, moving forwards and lifting her chin to make her look at him. He couldn't have prepared himself for the look of anger in her eyes.

"Are you kidding me?" she screamed, pushing him away from her.

"What?" James asked, confused. Only minutes before she'd been trying to kiss him, and seconds ago she'd been sad that he was with Charlotte – why was she acting so weirdly?

"You'd so easily leave her?" Lily cried, outraged.

"I don't love her," James told her. "I love you!"

"She loves _you_," Lily shouted at him. He wished she'd keep her voice down – it was way past curfew, but she was way past caring.

"And I thought that was enough," James told her. He needed to make her see that it was all for her.

"It's not," Lily pointed out.

"I know – when I saw you…" James started, but Lily interrupted him within seconds.

"Don't you _dare_ pin this on me, Potter," she screeched.

"She's been there for me – for months now. I let her love me. I don't want her," he tried to tell Lily.

"You sicken me," she spat, turning away from him and making her way down the corridor.

"Lily, tell me to leave her," he begged.

"Take leave on your own, you prick. Don't blame me!" Lily called back.

"I don't – I blame her," he promised. Lily turned to him, enraged – seeing his handsome more mature face with such clueless eyes imploring her to love him.

"Why? You said yourself that she's only ever been there for you – she's only loved you," Lily told him.

"I've been there for you – I've loved _you_," James turned on her.

"That's not the same – _you let her_!" Lily snarled.

"She's not you," he pointed out sadly.

"And you _blame_ her for that? Bloody hell Potter, she even tried doing that once, remember?" Lily reminded him angrily.

"It didn't work – she'll never be you!" James cried.

"And what would happen if it _was_ me and you fancied someone else? Would you just so easily toss me aside in the hopes that they would want you? It's hardly an amiable quality, Potter!" Lily screamed.

"What is this commotion?" a voice shouted from the end of the corridor. Lily saw McGonagall storming towards the pair. Lily spun to see James looking as scared as she felt. It was the first day – and she was a prefect! Not a great start to the year. "Well? Explain yourselves!"

"Professor…" Lily started, but she lost her words.

"Lily was trying to get me to go back to the common room," James said quickly. "I wanted to go for a night time stroll..."

"With your broom?"

"Stroll, fly – same thing. I didn't want to limit my options to the land," James joked sadly.

"This isn't funny, Potter," McGonagall said sternly, her lips pursed into a thin frown. "You'd think with your Quidditch captaincy you'd learn to grow up!"

"I'm sorry professor," James said. "I just thought I needed as much practise as possible,"

"I'd ban you from Quidditch for a month if I didn't want to win so much, Potter. Slughorn is awful – you have to make a good team – is that heard?" she pursed her lips so they were barely visible.

"Yes professor," he said dropping his head. Lily had barely known him to be so obedient.

"And Miss Evans, I'm glad to see your taking your roll seriously," McGonagall turned to Lily. A shooting a guilt ran through her, but she nodded with thanks.

"Potter – detention – Friday evening – 6 O'clock, my office," McGonagall said, and turned down the corridor, in her night dress. "Back to the common room," she ordered them.

Lily walked ahead of James and refused to make eye contact with him. He kept poking her in the side, but she punched him in the arm. Eventually they got to the common room and piled in through the portrait hole. The room was crowded with 5th, 6th and 7th years, all of whom turned to Lily and James looking windswept and angry. Someone catcalled. Lily blushed and pushed her way through the crowd, keeping her head down until she reached the dorm. She pushed in and jumped onto her bed, closing the curtains and refusing to talk with anyone.

James had to face Charlotte who had been witness to their late arrival and the catcalling. She was waiting for him since everyone else had arrived and it had been over two hours since that point.

"Where did you run off to? And why were you with Evans?" she demanded, throwing down her copy of Witch Weekly to the coffee table.

"I came back here, saw Lily and we popped off for a quicky," James said bitterly. The agony was obvious on his face, and despite his cruel joking, Charlotte walked over to him and wrapped her long arms around him.

"James, what's wrong?" she asked softly. This was the girl he had kissed in France – the caring one, not the argumentative nagging girlfriend of Hogwarts. He let out a sigh.

"It's _her_!" James cried.

"What? Who?" Charlotte fussed. "Evans?"

"I … you'll hate me," James said. He was glad she wasn't shouting – less people were looking around now.

"I won't James, I love you," she fussed, stroking his hair from the back.

"You promise you won't hate me?" he said sadly.

"I promise, now tell me what's wrong?" she asked kindly.

"I was with Lily… and she was looking so beautiful… and I just … we didn't do anything!" he promised. The effect on Charlotte was immediate. She dropped her arms and took a step back from him – defences raised.

"Right…" she said, urging him to go on.

"We just talked…" he said.

"Right…" she repeated.

"I love her, Lottie," James said sadly. Charlotte's face didn't even blink.

"And what do you want me to do?" she asked, fiercely.

"I don't know," James cried.

"Nor do I…" Charlotte said, allowing a drop of sadness touch her eyes. It was gone within seconds.

"I can't work out why the fuck I care about her, Lottie! Why I keep _seeing_ her in the crowded corridors. Why I keep wanting her. Actually, yes I do – I know why. But it's stupid – the single most ridiculous realisation of my life. And now, I can't think about anyone else, no matter how hard I try to. It will always lead back to her," James exclaimed. People were looking around now. He didn't care.

"Right…" Charlotte said again.

"I realise that I'm completely screwed. I'm livid – I haven't been sleeping properly due to these _fucking nightmares_, and to top it all off, _she_ appears, looking more beautiful than I've ever seen her before," he went up to the brick wall and punched it with all of his anger. There was a crack as his fingers broke. "I have a girlfriend! I have _you_! I have commitments. And yet… I can only think about Lily. And why? I don't know – we have nothing in common, she doesn't even like me!" James said pitifully. The pain of his heartbreak and his hand reached his eyes and suddenly he was sobbing.

"Do you want me to feel sorry for you?" Charlotte spat. People stood away, leaving a small circular area for their stage.

"What?" James asked looking up at her. He didn't notice the group, hanging on their every word.

"It sounds like you want me to apologize for… existing," Charlotte said sourly.

"Don't be stupid Charlotte," James shook it off.

"No – I don't think I'm being stupid for a change. _What is it with you two_? You have more in common than you think you know," she said bitterly.

"What?" he asked.

"You both see me as the dragon – she's the princess, I'm the dragon… oh don't worry James you still get to be the hero," Charlotte told him.

"I don't understand…" James asked – and he really didn't. His eyes were wide like a puppy's and his hair was limp, unlike its usual messy nature.

"I'm letting you off your commitments James," Charlotte told him angrily, pushing away the people in the crowd to get to her common room.

"What?" James asked.

"I'm breaking up with you," she called back to him.

"Why?" there was laughter from the crowd.

"Because you just confessed to me that you were in love with another girl?" Charlotte asked him incredulously, turning to look at him. "You're pathetic,"

"Charlotte! Don't be like that…" he asked her.

"You mean rational?" she bellowed.

"I thought I could rely on you…" he muttered.

"To be your carpet to walk on. There when you get lonely in France, fine to let love you and adore you, and be there when you wanted someone. But you were never there for me. Not when I needed you, ever!" she sighed.

"To be there for me, yes," he agreed sadly.

"Well, I'm going to be there for myself, thanks," Charlotte said, turning away once more.

"I'll be better off without you," he told her, angrily.

"Yeah, but you'll never be _happy_ without her," Charlotte laughed.

"I might _get_ her," James suggested.

"I hope to hell that you don't," Charlotte whispered, though the whole room heard it. She stormed up the staircase and into her dorm.

James fell back against the wall – pain shooting up his arm.

"Prongs, we need to get you to Holloway," Sirius said from inside the crowd. He pushed his way through and knelt beside James. "Alice!" Sirius called.

"Yeah?"

"Go make sure Parkinson hasn't killed Lily!" Sirius ordered. "Everyone else: fuck off," they did as he told them. They milled around the fire, or went up to their own dorms.

Marlene lay in the boy's dorm next to Sirius on his bed. He had a cigarette in his hand – he offered it to her.

"No thanks," she said, shaking her head. "I'm sorry for earlier," she told him.

"Don't be – I could've given you an explanation… I should've," Sirius moaned, inhaling from his cigarette.

"Well, that would've been nice," Marlene admitted with a small laugh. "At least it wasn't Parkinson – that would've been horrendous,"

"Marley, that is vile!" Sirius pretended to vomit.

"Sorry," Marlene giggled. "So he knows now,"

"I'm pretty sure he did anyway – might've been why he ran off with Parkinson all summer – to give me the hint,"

"I can't believe they're together, it's weird," Marlene said, reaching her hand out for a puff of smoke. Sirius handed it to her with a wink. "Poor Lily,"

"I know – I hate it," Sirius admitted.

"Lily likes him, you know?" Marlene said with a smile. "I think after he stayed with her in hospital and stuff, and then he comes back looking like he does she sees him differently,"

"Now we just have to make him stop making a complete prat of himself," Sirius said.

"Easier said than done!" Marlene laughed. That's when they heard the shouting from down in the common room. The pair of them jumped perfectly in sync and ran for the door. They headed down the stairs and saw a group of people surrounding James who was looking crestfallen, whilst Charlotte was shouting at him.

"To be your carpet to walk on. There when you get lonely in France, fine to let love you and adore you, and be there when you wanted someone. But you were never there for me. Not when I needed you, ever!" she was screeching at him. He stood there, legs shaking, hand bleeding with tears bathing his face.

"To be there for me, yes," he whispered softly

"What's he done to his hand?" Sirius whispered to Frank Longbottom's best friend Neville Dulac.

"Well, I'm going to be there for myself, thanks," Charlotte said, turning away once more.

"Punched the wall, looks pretty bad, doesn't it?" Neville said.

"I'll be better off without you," he told her, angrily.

"Yeah, but you'll never be happy without her," Charlotte laughed. Sirius looked at James – in that moment both of them realised that to be true – James would always been pining after Lily.

"I might get her," James suggested, with complete despair on his face.

"I hope to hell that you don't," Charlotte whispered, though Sirius still heard it. He looked to Marlene.

"Is Lily in your dorm?" he asked, Marlene nodded worried. Sirius stepped forwards through the crowd just as James fell against the wall with numerous kinds of pain.

"Prongs, we need to get you to Holloway," Sirius said, kneeling beside James. "Alice!" Sirius called.

"Yeah?" Alice said from behind him.

"Go make sure Parkinson hasn't killed Lily!" Sirius ordered. "Everyone else: fuck off," everyone looked at Sirius as though they might hit him but they eventually followed his advice and either went up to their own dorms or milled around by the fire. Sirius threw his arm around James, hauling him up into standing position. It felt strange being so close to the boy when he'd been trying to avoid him all day, but he knew that James needed him. "Remus! Help me!" he grunted under the other boy's weight. Remus (who had walked over seconds previously) threw himself under James' good hand and they pulled the lump from the common room, with Peter opening the doors for them.

Alice reached the fifth year girl's dorm just in time. She pushed the door open to find Charlotte and Lily literally brawling. Or at least that's what it looked like to her – their cries the only audible thing as they gripped onto each other. However, as she approached them she heard whispers of:

"It's okay, I'm sorry," from Lily. And:

"I'm sorry too!" from Charlotte.

"Are you two… crying?" Alice said, approaching the pair cautiously. The door flung open again, and Emmeline stood there, with Mary and Donna.

"Don't hurt Lily!" Emmeline cried out.

"Wait, are they crying?" Mary laughed.

"It looks like it," Alice said with a smile.

"Well this is a turn of events," Donna chuckled. Emmeline ran towards the girls and threw her arms around them. They accepted her into their hug.

"I'm sorry! This is all my fault!" Emmeline sobbed, with the others. "I should've told you about James and Charlotte!"

"Ladies, you realise that this is none of your faults, right?" Alice poked in.

"I'm sorry!" Donna said throwing herself into the hugs with tears streaming down her face.

"Why are you sorry?" Alice screamed.

"I don't know!" Donna sobbed.

"Mary? Are _you_ sorry?" Alice asked the only other seemingly sane person in the room. Mary had her arms crossed over her chest.

"Nope – this is obviously Potter's doing," Mary muttered to Alice.

"Do you hear that?" Alice screamed at the sobbing mass of fifth year girls. "This is James' fault!"

"How'd you work that out?" Donna asked with tears staining her eyes.

"He shouldn't have been such a dick to Charlotte, he certainly shouldn't have run off with Lily, and honestly, he should stop looking like a Greek God, it's unfair for everyone!" Alice listed off. "Don't be sorry at each other – be mad at him,"

"You're right, Griffiths," Charlotte said. She took a deep hiccuppy breath. "I hope he _has_ broken his hand,"

"Why would he have broken his hand?" Lily called, with worry in her voice. She looked around the group of girls and realised herself. "I mean, I don't care,"

"Right, Evans – thanks for the crying and stuff…" Charlotte said. "I should… go to bed…"

"Me too," Lily said with a watery smile. "Thanks,"

"Right – everyone in bed!" Alice ordered. Donna walked over to her own four poster and jumped into it, Emmeline trudged to hers, and Lily curled up behind her closed curtains. Mary smiled at Alice and mouthed her thanks, and went to change in the bathroom. Alice walked over to the bed where Lily lay. She flicked the lights off with her wand and sat next to the red head.

"You okay?" Alice whispered. Lily lay there motionless.

"Yeah – just a little… embarrassed," Lily admitted. "I thought he actually liked me,"

"He really does, Lil," Alice said.

"Not enough to respect me as a human being," Lily sighed. "Not enough to write over the summer like he said he would, or to not run off with Charlotte just as we were getting close,"

"Oh Lil, it's been that long?" Alice said, stroking her curly hair. "We all figured it was just since he got really good looking,"

"It was since last year – after I was attacked. He made me feel safe. Then he said on the platform that he'd write every week – which he didn't. Then we get back here and yeah, he's looking gorgeous, and I walked in on him in the common room alone, and he asked me to go for a walk with him. I thought it would be the start of that amazing Love Story that Mary and Emmeline are always going on about," Lily felt better after saying it all – like she was getting rid of the poison. "And now he's with Charlotte,"

"Lil! It's okay," Alice said softly. "It'll be okay," that's how Lily fell asleep. Being cooed by Alice, and thinking about the look in his eyes when he said it was all for her.

James Potter had always been succinctly brilliant in two subjects. He was proud to say that in transfiguration he could easily produce a fairly fantastic replica of any task set, and in Defence against the Dark Arts he could easily trump anyone in a duel. This had been true for the past four years during their schooling, and he had long ago given up trying to succeed during these classes because "honestly what's the point?" he would ask of Remus when told he should at least put some effort in. James Potter had always been the best at transfiguration (along with best friend Sirius Black), and throughout his schooling no one even challenged the pair.

Defence against the Dark Arts, however, took a turn for the unexpected on their first lesson back after the summer holidays.

The class started with an introduction to the new professor, Madam Devarius. The lady was curiously perceived by the class, who had heard whisperings of her reputation, and her absence at the Welcome Feast had been noted. She did not attend group meals and she was rarely seen out of her classroom or office. Devarius was a taller than average lady, though with a feline grace to how she moved herself around the room. She possessed an air of femininity, and even with her height she looked like a supermodel. Her face was slightly pointed, and narrow grey eyes that looked as though they may have once been blue. She wore neck-floor length purple robes and one black glove on her left hand, which held her wand. The most obvious and distinct feature of the woman was her knee length red hair, which was about two shades darker than Lily's. The hair in itself would not be seen as wholly strange, as it was often commonplace for witches and wizards to have hair at great lengths (Dumbledore, for example). However, the odd thing about this woman's hair was that it was employed as a mask to cover half of her face, expertly unmoving from its place. Because of this the class were only able to see half of their new professor's small smile as she greeted them.

"Hello class. My name is Madam Devarius – you may call me Professor or Madam," she spoke with what was a cleverly disguised French accent, but James (being half French himself) recognized it at once. "This is the year of your Ordinary Wizarding Levels, and I hope that you and I will be cooperating with one another to achieve the very best results possible. Of course, there will be a mass of theory work spread throughout the year's course…" groans from the class. "But I do not believe in learning through reading – we will be having practical lessons as least once a week – this will range from practising defence magic, safely duelling one another, or defending yourselves against a mixture of magical creatures that I might see fit to bring in front of you," she took a breath. "Can anyone tell me the spell used to stun your opponent and its practical usage?" Four hands shot up. "Yes, Miss?"

"Evans," Lily said with a smile. James' heart stung. His hand had been easily fixed by Healer Holloway in the early hours of the morning, but the pain brought by the evening's events hadn't. "The stunning spell's incantation is Stupefy, and is manifested in a flash of red light, rendering the victim in an unconscious state for a varied amount of time, dependant on both the size and strength of the opponent and the strength of the incantation,"

"Very well done, Miss Evans," Devarius smiled. "Five points to Gryffindor," James looked around and saw Lily not doing her normal grinning wildly about having gained points, not quickly writing down notes, but sitting, calm as a butterfly, her quill ready if necessary. "And can anyone tell me a spell which may protect you from the Stupefying Charm?" only one hand raised now. James thought he might knew the answer but wasn't sure if the pronunciation was and oh sound or and OOH sound. "Yes Miss Evans?"

"Protego; or the shield charm, can protect the caster of the spell from minor-strong hexes, curses and jinxes to rebound, or failing that stops the full effect from taking place. In some cases this can cause a physical shield of magic to form around the witch or wizard, if the spell is strong enough,"

"Take another five points, Miss Evans," she smiled to Lily. "Back to the stunning spell – how may a person wake someone from their unconscious state?" to no one's surprise Lily raised her hand. "Miss Evans?"

"The enervate charm, with the incantation rennervate is the counter curse to stupefy,"

"Five more points. Now is Miss Evans here the only student awake or is she the only one competent enough to understand these questions?"

"We haven't been taught these things yet," Adam McKinnon grumbled.

"I am aware of your previous… flakiness when it comes to Professors of this subject. Rest assured that we will have you all off Defending yourselves just as well as Miss Evans by the end of the year. Up until half term we shall be working on simple defensive magic, to both refresh minds and teach those of you who barely hope to get a T in their examinations,"

"Potter, Lily's kicking your ass – I thought you were the golden Defence boy?" Sirius whispered.

"I … she's having a lucky day," James said grumpily.

But it turned out, as the weeks passed by that Lily was _not_ having merely a lucky day. As it was Lily, she had never been bad at Defence – she understood the majority of the theory work, and she kept ahead of all the reading, but she'd never excelled to the point at which she was doing now. But James (and the rest of the group) noticed that Lily's competence with the magic practise was exceedingly good – she faced off two boggarts at once in their first practical lesson, whilst people like Peter could barely mutter _Riddikulus_ fast enough for Devarius to run in and help them. She could block any attack that her duelling partners (Remus, McKinnon, Snape, and Devarius herself) threw at her, and she did it all whilst looking rather bored.

She was also not talking to him. She'd barely looked or acknowledged his presence in the first three weeks despite the fact that they had the majority of their lessons in each other's company. Charlotte, however, took a different approach. She made it a habit to throw snide comments his way and gossip about how much of a bad person he was – to the extent that he was finding it hard to find a date to Hogsmeade. James Potter never had trouble finding a date. Whatever Charlotte was saying was nothing compared to what Lily wasn't saying. She would constantly walk past him, or approach them to talk to Remus about prefect duty, and blank him. Plus, she was outshining him way too much in Defence to be acceptable.

James decided that enough was enough when Sid Lansky started choking on some gum and she calmly pointed her wand at his throat, muttered "Anapneo" to clear his airways and turned thoughtlessly back to a conversation with Emmeline about the next Hogsmeade trip. The _old_ Lily would've panicked and forgotten the spell for a few seconds, before recalling the precise theory of the spell. This Lily was a … mercenary.

After their lesson, James excused himself for a minute from Remus, Peter and Sirius, and ran to catch up with the girl half way down the corridor. His friends walked on without him calling out that they would meet him down at dinner – Sirius was starving. He pulled her unwillingly aside from Marlene and Emmeline and looked at her crossly. She raised her eyebrows. It was the first time he'd seen her properly since the incident on the first day back.

"What's this about?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she retorted with a genuinely confused look in her eyes – and hurt, there was hurt there too.

"Why are you suddenly so good at Defence?" he demanded. She shrugged.

"Because I've been putting a lot more effort into it?" Lily suggested angrily.

"You're being a know it all," James pointed out harshly.

"So I'm not supposed to be smart because it's hurting your ego?" Lily said coolly. She didn't even lose her temper.

"I'm … my ego is fine. You've _always_ been smart but now you're… good!" James told her. "Really bloody brilliant, actually,"

"Thank you," she blushed but instantly returned to her anger. He hated that – how he was trying to be mad at her but how his stomach flipped back and forth. "I'll have you know I've been learning a lot more defence than I did before,"

"Why?" James asked with a bitter edge.

"Because there's a war out there, James, and I'm pretty sure I'll be more useful alive. I was attacked, and I couldn't do a thing about it. Theoretical knowledge didn't sink in – I wasn't fast on the ball," in her mind she thought of Ophelia – the poor little second year that she failed to help, and as a result of which she was attending the hospital wing weekly to ensure her good health.

"Oh…" James said understanding. He'd almost forgotten about her attack – it had been before summer and he'd barely seen or spoken to Lily since she stopped demanding he be around to protect her. Now she obviously had herself. "I get it…"

"Thank you," Lily said, exasperated. "I'll try not to go OTT in lessons…" she promised.

"Did… did you just compromise with me?" James asked, stunned. That wasn't the overly headstrong Lily Evans he knew.

"I guess so," Lily smiled.

"I… you've become a rational thinking being, Evans!" James laughed. "So come on," he said, dragging her by her arm down the now empty corridor. "Tell me about your summer, I've barely seen you these last two weeks…"

"And whose fault is that?" Lily asked angrily.

"Lily… about that day," James started.

"No, I don't want to hear about how you're so sorry and hard done by," Lily snapped. "I'm fine without you,"

"…No… you went to kiss me," James told her. This brought another blush to her cheeks – she didn't seem happy about it.

"Yes, I did – and you ruined that," Lily told him plainly. It stung James to hear it.

"I'm sorry about that," James said. "About not telling you sooner, and for…"

"It's okay…" Lily said. "You're forgiven,"

"So you want to…?" James exclaimed, totally misjudging the direction of the conversation.

"Not a hope in hell, Potter, I just don't have the energy to hold a vendetta against you for three years," James' heart sunk. Not a hope in hell.

"Right…" he said, "So how have you been?"

"Well, I'm a prefect!" Lily said happily. "But you probably already knew that, what with Remus being prefect too,"

"Yeah, I did, but I don't think I congratulated you yet! Well done!" he said with a grin.

"I thought for sure they'd pick Emmeline or Charlotte," Lily said, embarrassed.

"Why on earth would they pick them? Emmeline would rather kill the first years than help them with their homework, and Charlotte not only lacks the ability to do anything for anyone but herself, but she's also a little…"

"Promiscuous?" Lily suggested.

"I was going to say slaggy, but your way is kinder I guess. See! That's why they chose you!" James grinned.

"And you're Quidditch Captain obviously!" Lily said, twisting the conversation.

"Oh, you heard about that, did you?" James said with a grin. He had spent the last two weeks entering the common room whilst shouting 'CAPTAIN'S IN THE HOUSE!' to which everyone would applaud for no good reason. He'd also made a Quidditch try-out form threatening all of the people who applied that if they wasted his time he'd hex them. Remus had to (sadly) ask James to take it down, with his role as prefect, but James kept it up saying that it was 'better for the team'.

"I think a comatose man in Russia heard about that, Potter," Lily laughed. "Well done though – they've been stupid keeping it from you for this long,"

"You don't even like Quidditch, how would you know?" James joked.

"I have seen three games of Quidditch actually! You fly very well. Also, people wouldn't let you be such an arse if you weren't any good,"

"That is a fair point Evans," Lily smiled. They stopped outside the Great Hall – it was dinner and James was starving.

"I'll see you later," she said, turning away from him.

"Are you not coming to dinner?" James asked, confused.

"I promised I'd help Ophelia – she's struggling with some transfiguration work," Lily said, shifting from foot to foot. She was still embarrassed being near him.

"Well… I'll come along too!" James said brightly. "I haven't spoken to Ophelia since the last day of term, and I am a transfiguration wiz!"

"You really don't have to," Lily said, blushing again.

"I'm not hungry anyway," his stomach growled at him to stop lying, but they both ignored it.

"Alright then…" Lily said, and headed towards the stair case.

"Lily…" James said with an intensity that was unnecessary for the situation.

"Yes, Potter?" Lily said.

"I'm sorry I didn't write," James said. He'd stopped on the way up the stairs. Lily was two steps ahead of him, so when she turned around they stood eye to eye. He'd grown again – she noticed.

"It's fine, James, I didn't write either," she said with a sad smile.

"I wanted you to," James admitted. "I'd check for owls every morning,"

"Well then I'm sorry I didn't write to you too Potter," Lily said.

"I did try to write a lot, you know? I wrote about 40 "Hello Lily, how're you?"s, but crossed them out. I could never get it right,"

"James – I got over it. I'd appreciate if you would too," Lily told him.

"But Lily! I want you to see that I'm trying," James pleaded.

"I can see that, but I am also aware that you've asked three different girls to Hogsmeade already," James wanted to punch himself or a wall, but Holloway had made him promise not to break himself too badly anymore.

"Well you weren't going to go out with me!" James argued.

"Then stop trying to make me," Lily told him.

"Do you mean that?" James asked sincerely. "Do you really want me to stop? Forever?"

"Yes," Lily sighed. James shivered.

"Okay then, goodbye Lily," James said, stole one last look at her and turned back to the great hall. Lily rolled her eyes, allowing one minute stood alone in the corridor when she didn't have to pretend that caring for James Potter was a crime, and then composed herself and continued walking.

Lily retreated to the library where she found Ophelia sitting with Marlene. Surprised, Lily smiled at the pair – she didn't know that Marlene was aware that Hogwarts had a library – she was normally too engrossed in playing Quidditch or having a social life. But there she saw sat beside Ophelia, reading through a thick dusty book. Sliding into the seat next to Marlene, Lily looked over at the book. It was animal to water goblet transfiguration. Smiling Lily pulled out her wand.

"What're you doing here?" she asked of Marlene.

"I was chatting with Adam, and he wanted to get a book out. He's around here somewhere," Marlene explained. Lily looked around, and saw Adam McKinnon heading their way. He had longish blonde hair and was carrying a pile of books that blocked his handsome face. There was a reason he was number two on the snogging list.

"Hello Lily!" Adam called, plopping in next to her. "Good day?"

"Not bad," Lily said. "I'm helping Ophelia with her transfiguration, and I've got an essay from Devarius that needs to be done,"

"Hey Ophelia," Adam said to the second year. "I love the hair!" Ophelia had returned to Hogwarts with (unlike her rib length black hair) with a short blonde pixie haircut. It made her look much happier – and Lily supposed she was. She had a group of friends both including Lily and her friends, and also some of the girls in her own year. Apparently they all fancied James and had started talking to her to ask her to introduce them, but they had all gotten along really well and now hung out with each other a lot.

"Thanks – mum doesn't know I did it, yet. I figured I'll just morph back to how it was over the Christmas holidays," Ophelia laughed.

"What're you two up to?" Lily asked Adam and Marlene – she couldn't help but notice the blush on the former's face.

"I needed to get some books for history of magic, and Marlene said she'd assist me, if I let her copy my notes," Adam smiled.

"I didn't want to be down in the Great Hall," Marlene whispered.

"Oh yes!" Lily exclaimed, earning a glare from Madam Price. "Have you spoken to her yet?"

"Emmeline?" Lily nodded. "Nope. She refuses to talk to me since I suggested Remus ask her to Hogsmeade!"

"Remus is asking Em to Hogsmeade?" Ophelia squeaked.

"No, they both like each other, and they have for ages – they just refuse to do anything about it,"

"And Em's mad that you told Remus to ask her?" Ophelia asked.

"Well, she's more mad that Marlene shouted at Remus for being a stumbling coward," Adam chuckled. He'd been with the marauders when Marlene had strutted up to them and screamed at the prefect amongst them to 'man up'. Emmeline had practically died of embarrassment and refused to do anything but glare at Marlene ever since.

"It was really funny," Lily admitted. "But we do need to think of less harsh ways to get them together,"

"Women! Can't you just leave them be?" Adam asked dimly. His eyes settled on Marlene.

"Men!" the three girls sighed. The boy burst into laughter, earning him a dark look from the strict and terrifying librarian.

"No – men don't do anything on their own," Marlene explained. "You're all dim,"

"Ta very much," Adam laughed.

"Long ago Lily and I started our match making service," Marlene told Ophelia and Adam.

"We are responsible for Mary's many dates with attractive Ravenclaws," Lily laughed.

"Except not recently, because she's a bit… off with blokes," Marlene explained.

"Since the attack?" Adam asked – Lily and Marlene nodded. "I noticed,"

"That's another mission – find a guy for Mary, get Emmeline and Remus together, we should probably get Donna someone too," Marlene declared.

"What about you two?" Ophelia asked. "Are you working on yourselves?"

"Nooooo," Lily insisted. Marlene also shook her head.

"Lily doesn't really like guys like that…" the three fifth years went a bit still – all knowing the events that had happened two weeks previously. Ophelia didn't notice at all.

"What about Sev?" Ophelia asked.

"No," Adam and Marlene said for Lily. They all felt Ophelia's sadness at this.

"Sorry – I've been improving, but it does get out sometimes…" Ophelia said, closing her eyes and collecting her emotions. They all felt the relief. "Why not Sev?"

"Snape is…" Adam started.

"Not Lily's type," Marlene finished for him.

"Lily used to really like him!" Ophelia argued.

"We were friends Ophelia, just friends," Lily explained softly.

"He liked you a lot. I could tell – I'm good at emotions," Ophelia joked.

"Everyone knows about his obsession with Lil, but they are really just friends," Marlene assured the second year. Ophelia nodded glumly.

"Well what about you?" Ophelia turned on Marlene.

"Me?" Marlene said shocked. "I don't like Snivellus!"

"No! I mean, who do you want to be set up with?" Ophelia squeaked. Marlene blushed.

"No one – I only just found out that my ex-boyfriend is kind of gay…" she giggled.

"How can you be _kind of gay_?" Ophelia questioned.

"It's Sirius," Adam said as an explanation. Ophelia understood immediately. If there was anyone who could be "kind of gay" it was the boy who was more of a womanizer than the other three marauders combined, but made James read to him whilst he bathed. Remus had once explained Sirius' feelings as an extreme bromance.

"Oh! Well, why not set him up with James?" Ophelia suggested. Everyone laughed.

"Potter already thinks he's Merlin's gift to witches – he doesn't need our help getting a girlfriend _or_ boyfriend," Marlene explained to the second year.

"Unless it's Lily – but that's never happening," Adam added after a menacing look from the girl in question. Lily quite liked Adam, because he seemed to understand things like that.

"Actually, Potter can't seem to get a date for Hogsmeade – he already asked out Rachel Bagshot, Alice's friend Marie Bayle and Jane Brown," Lily told Marlene.

"He's lost his touch," Adam giggled.

"But he's so hot!" Marlene cried. "How could they say no?"

"Charlotte's been warning people about how much of a prat he is," Lily explained.

"What actually happened with him and Charlotte?" Ophelia asked. The older members of the group all exchanged looks when Lily wildly shook her head.

"Nothing – we have transfiguration to do!" Lily sang.

"But…" the girl objected. Lily cut her off.

"Nope, you're not going to know. Just don't… morph into anyone and accept a date with him, okay?" Lily asked.

"Fine!" Ophelia stropped. Seconds later she'd cheered up and was flicking through a text book. "I'm stuck with the wand movement…"

Lily, Marlene and Adam had a lot of fun coaching Ophelia in her transfiguration. It was always fun to go over magic they'd already learnt and not used in a while – plus it made them feel a lot better about how stuck they were with their own transfiguration work. It only seemed to be getting harder, and only two people in the whole class seemed to be able to understand it. Between them Lily and Marlene had entirely too much pride to ask either James or Sirius for help, and so they decided that they would suck it up and just work extra hard in class. So far, that didn't seem to be working.

They were finished by eight o'clock, and by that point they were all starving. Ophelia had eaten before coming up to the library, as she had had a free lesson before dinner. She headed up with all of her books to the common room, whereas Adam, Marlene, and Lily all decided to make a detour to the kitchens. They were walking down the second floor corridor towards the main staircase when they bumped into a screaming Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin. The former collided with Lily and the latter Adam. Marlene stood laughing at their moaning masses on the floor.

"What're you doing?" Lily demanded as she tried to stand.

"Myrtle was chasing us!" Peter panted. He was red in the face as he held out a hand to help Lily up. She took it gratefully, and straightened out her robes.

"Why was Myrtle chasing you?" Lily asked of Remus.

"She's on a vendetta," Remus laughed – he too looked short of breath, but Remus was a lot physically fitter than anyone would have assumed of him. The perks of being a werewolf.

"What did you do?" Adam laughed, nudging a still hysterical Marlene in the ribs.

"Us? We are just innocent bystanders," Peter feigned, but none of them believed the act for a second.

"Charlotte got all the female ghosts to start throwing things at James. It was funny at first, but Myrtle has access to some weird things in the bathroom," Remus laughed.

"So why the vendetta? Surely not just some feminist movement?" Marlene chuckled. Remus and Peter exchanged worried glances.

"Charlotte and James are back together," Remus said softly.

"What?" Marlene screamed. "What!"

"As of when?" Lily asked.

"Dinner," Remus said. "You okay?" he asked of Lily. She nodded with a smile.

"Of course – I shouldn't have expected anything different," Lily laughed. Everyone turned to her, unsure if her response was sincere or well-disguised.

"What do you mean?" Peter asked.

"Potter was trying to get back in my good books, as it were, after Defence," Lily explained. "It seems that whenever we start to stop hating each other he ends up with her,"

"That answers a lot of questions," Remus considered. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yes – I told him to leave me alone," Lily smiled. "I'll see you on duty?"

"Yes – I look forwards to it," Remus smiled. He and Peter bid the three farewells and walked off back to their common room.

"Potter can be a prat," Adam said kindly after a moment of silence.

"I'm fine," Lily insisted. "Tickle the pear," she said.

"What?" Marlene laughed. "Oh you mean on the painting," she said falling into hysterics. "I genuinely had no idea what you were talking about,"

"You're so funny, Marley," Adam laughed. "Tickle the pear good lady!" he pronounced. Marlene did as they had told her and the kitchens opened.

The house elves were as accommodating as ever, piling their arms with pastries, cakes and juice. The three filled their bags with their goodies, and bid the elves good day. Walking up to the common room was much less eventful than the trek that took them to the kitchens. They reached it safely and piled in, sitting around the fire eating their dinner and laughing about tickling pears. Then their conversation turned to their matchmaking tactics.

"Well you have prefect duty with him! So you could trick her to meet you there, but she'll see him and they'll fall madly in love," Marlene suggested.

"Or I could just like… talk to him," Lily added.

"I agree with Lily," Adam said. "It'll be less humiliating for both of them,"

"And I can be quite persuasive," Lily said cheerfully.

"Don't look behind you," Adam whispered into Lily's ear. Obviously, Lily span on the spot, and immediately wished she had paid attention to Adam. Standing at the bottom of the dormitory stairwell was Charlotte Parkinson, with her legs wrapped around James Potter. They were kissing rather disgustingly. She took an angry sip of juice.

"Do you think my prefect powers can allow me to stop that?" Lily groaned. Though there was no chance that she'd want to be with Potter she'd been harbouring a crush ever since the end of the last year, and his actions were both annoying and a little heart wrenching. Why did he so often ruin things between them?

"Lily?" Remus said. She looked up, and saw him stood there looking at her sadly. He held out his arm and helped Lily stand. "You ready?"

"Yeah, I guess," Lily smiled. She gathered her bag and some of the remaining cakes and drinks, and put them in her bag. "I'll see you later Marley. Bye Adam!" she said, purposefully avoiding the view at the opposite end of the common room as she followed Remus out of the portrait.

This was their second prefect duty together. Last time they'd walked around the castle hoping they didn't happen upon anything, and being lucky in that they didn't. Lily had found it slightly arduous, so she'd packed food for this time. She told Remus this and he grinned.

"Fantastic!" he said. They were walking down the fifth floor corridor, towards the weird portrait that freaked Lily out. "How're you?"

"I'm great – you?" Lily asked politely. She wished that Remus wasn't so observant and kind sometimes.

"Just dandy," Remus replied. "About James and Charlotte…"

"I'm fine with it Remus," Lily said. She spotted a disbelieving look on his face, "Honestly, it's better this way," Lily laughed.

"For you," he replied glumly. Lily noticed something in his tone which made her curious.

"Is she that bad?" Lily asked, removing some coconut cauldrons from her bag and handing some to Remus. He thanked her with a smile.

"Yes – obsessive, mean, shallow and disruptive to the order of things," Remus listed her qualities off on his hands.

"They're perfect for each other," Lily said harshly.

"Perhaps," Remus laughed. "He's not been sleeping well,"

"Oh?" Lily asked, attempting at nonchalance.

"He has nightmares – wakes up screaming most nights. He won't tell any of us what it's about," Remus commented sadly. "Not even Sirius,"

"Strange,"

"We've worked out that it's something about his mum," Remus told her. "He wakes up screaming for her, in a way that no one over the age of seven should,"

"Maybe he should go see Holloway?" Lily suggested.

"I said that, but he said that he'll be seeing the useful Healer soon. Do you know what that means?" he asked of her, but having not really spoken to him in months she had no answer.

"Not even a little bit," Lily said. "Does Sirius not even know?"

"Nope. All we know is that he's been acting weirdly for a while and he keeps trying to pick fights with Slytherins,"

"Severus?" Lily asked worried.

"No – mostly it's Lestat and Alexander Rosier," Remus said. Lily stopped for a minute. "You know something, Lily…"

"No,"

"You do!" Remus insisted, having noticed the look of recognition in her eyes.

"It's just a story James told me about the Rosier's. I'd forgotten about it, and it's a very sad story," she sighed, taking a bite of sponge cake.

"What was it?" Remus asked, needing to know for the sake of his friend. Lily understood.

"It was about their dad. He was torturing a woman and her child. The kid lost control of his magic and stole Rosier's wand. Ended up killing him," Lily remembered. For a brief moment she was taken to the roof top where they spoke, his hazel eyes in the moon light and the smile she had missed. It dissolved away and she saw Remus looking at her with wide eyes.

"Why do you say _his_? Does James know who it was?" Remus asked. Lily thought that through. He hadn't said as much, but he did know a lot about the boy – certainly more than he let on.

"He didn't say so directly. Just that it was about eight years ago? And that… that the kid has help to forget it…" Lily recalled.

"Right," Remus said. "That sucks,"

"Yes," Lily agreed. "Listen, Remus, I'm on a mission,"

"With what?" Remus asked, donning a smile.

"A continuation of Marlene's terrible techniques of the other day," Lily laughed.

"Oh, Lily, please don't," Remus begged. Normally she would've respected his wishes, but this was a serious issue to him.

"No, Remus – you like her don't you?" Lily demanded.

"Emmeline is fantastic," Remus said with a smile. "Who doesn't like her?"

"And she likes you!" Lily said. "You can try and reject that knowledge as much as you like but everyone knows it's true. She told me herself," _numerous times_, she added in her head.

"It's not that simple. You know it's not that simple!" Remus implored. He'd had hoped that of all people Lily would understand what her friends and his own couldn't – a werewolf wasn't allowed the luxuries of happiness.

"I think it is. Remus, I am aware that you're not the average Joe," Lily said. "You may be… otherwise disposed at certain times of the month, but that doesn't change anything,"

"Lily – I've liked this girl since we had a conversation about War of the Worlds in first year. She's not the kind of girl you have for a year or two! She's a keeper. I couldn't expect her to live with that!" Remus explained.

"Remus, your problem isn't going to stop her liking you," Lily told him. "You fail to see something very obvious,"

"And what's that Lily?" he sighed.

"You're an amazing guy. Emmeline doesn't see the other guy – she sees Remus Lupin. The cute, intelligent, lovely prefect, who makes her happy," Lily said softly. Remus looked at her.

"But that's not me," he implored her.

"Honestly, Remus! I might revoke the intelligent comment. That's like you not liking her because she has a cold!" Lily laughed.

"That's ridiculous," he assured her.

"Exactly," Lily smiled. "Remus, don't let that be the reason you're not with her. Please,"

"Lily…" Remus started with a stern tone.

"I'm not going to hear it Remus. There's so much hate and hurt around at the moment, what with the war and everything. I don't see why you're letting your condition take another thing from you," her eyes met his, and they were so kind – they really did believe that he was just like another guy who had a furry little problem. Remus Lupin thanked Merlin for having people like Lily, Sirius, Peter and James in his life.

"Lily…" he started, unsure if he should say it. Then he heard footsteps.

"What is it Remus?" Lily asked.

"Someone's coming," he replied in a hushed tone. She didn't know what it was that made her instinctively grab Remus' arm and pull him into the nearest broom closet – they were prefects – it was their job to stop people walking around the castle. But something about the atmosphere dictated that Lily hide – the natural fight or flight instinct. Something was coming around the corner that every survival instinct she had told her that she wouldn't survive.

"James!" a high pitched voice giggled. Lily recognized it at once. "We might bump into the prefects!"

"It's only Remus…" James said. He'd ignored that Lily was with him – they'd only spoken about her prefect-hood hours ago and he completely ignored her existence. Classic Potter.

"Oh!" Charlotte laughed. Lily wished to Merlin that they would stop their incessant giggling and heavy breathing. Remus was beside her, his eyes focused on her totally. He tried to mouth something, but in the dark of the closet Lily couldn't make it out. There were footsteps and with a wash of relief Lily thought they'd left, but then she heard more voices.

"Potter!" one voice growled. Lily didn't recognize the speaker.

"Rosier," James acknowledge.

"What're you doing?" Lestat asked. Lily's stomach churned. What had Remus said about James picking fights with the Rosiers?

"Well, I was taking a walk with Miss Parkinson here," James said – Lily could hear the smile he inevitably had on his face. She almost hoped that Lestat would hex it off his face.

"I meant, why are you here?" Lestat threatened. Lily realised that as prefects it was her and Remus' job to question all of the people outside the door, before a fight kicked off.

"The common room was a bit packed, if you know what I mean," James laughed.

"You shouldn't be running around outside curfew," another voice said. Lily recognized this one as Regulus Black.

"Reg, don't get involved," James said, the humour gone for a minute. Even from her position behind the door she knew the look that James was giving Regulus. It must be hard for him, she wondered – torn between wanting to protect the little boy who looked so much like his best friend and wanting to curse him for being such a night troll.

"Why not?" Regulus threatened. He was only a second year, but Lily knew he had experience at dark magic. He was a Black, after all.

"I wouldn't want to have to hex my best friend's brother," James said seriously.

"You mean my fag blood traitor brother?" Regulus laughed. "You think your boyfriend would dump you if you hurt me, Potter?"

"Speak about Sirius like that again, I dare you!" James snarled.

"James…" Charlotte said – fear evident in her voice. Useless – Lily sighed - she probably didn't even have her wand ready.

"Sirius Black is a worthless piece of shit," Regulus laughed.

"You'll pay for that, you insolent twit!" James shouted.

"Oh yeah? Are you going to take us all on at once Potter? Five against one decent wizard and some worthless bimbo?" another voice said.

"I could take you lot on in my sleep!" James said airily.

"Oh yeah?" Rosier laughed. "Prove it,"

"I don't have to! Just ask your dad," James said. The effect was obviously immediate. From their hiding place Lily heard a muttered curse, a bang, and a scream.

"Charlotte!" James called out – she was obviously hurt. Lily decided that whether or not she hated James Potter right now, it probably wasn't morally acceptable to let him die. Pushing the door open she rolled into the corridor and threw two curses towards the group of (Who would've guessed?) Slytherins. Two of them dropped at once. Lestat, Regulus and Augustus Rockwood remained standing, pointing their wands at James. They hadn't seemed to realise Lily crouched on the floor until she'd stunned Regulus to the floor. By that point it was too late, because (despite Charlotte lying unconscious on the floor) Rockwood and Rosier were both outnumbered, as Remus stood beside Lily wand outstretched.

"Oh Potter, I underestimated you! I didn't realise you had an army of mudbloods at your disposal!" Rosier laughed.

"Deprimo!" Lily shouted, forcing a gust of strong wind in the direction of Rockwood, forcing him at least 12 feet down the corridor, where he then lay unconscious. "You're right – an army of purebloods is so much more useful," Lily laughed.

"Evans, you silly bitch, put your wand down," Rosier threatened, though James could tell he was scared. James would be too – beside him Lily stood ferociously, her wand outstretched gracefully and a pile of unconscious people by her feet,"

"Sorry – but I'm not going to do that," Lily said. "Remus, check on Charlotte,"

Remus kept his wand trained on Rosier, but walked around to Charlotte, knelt down and checked to see if she was alright. Her head was bleeding and she was unconscious, but her pulse was still there. Nodding, Remus cleared his throat and returned to formation.

"So when did Mummy Rosier tell you kiddies about your precious Daddy?" James asked.

"Two years ago," Lestat said. "Bit of a shock for us," he looked lethal. "We always wondered how you knew so much about it…"

"I was told. I don't remember it," James said emotionlessly.

"Liar," Lestat roared. "You remember it perfectly,"

"Recently," James admitted. "Bad dreams,"

"Your first kill never leaves you," Lestat laughed.

"What?" Remus hissed. "James, what's he talking about?"

"Oh – they don't know?" Rosier grinned – his eyes gleaming as if Christmas had come early. "This is precious,"

"I know," Lily voiced. "And I don't care,"

"You're defending a murderer," Lestat laughed, "And everyone says you're one of the good ones. I see what Severus sees in you,"

"I'm defending an innocent boy," Lily growled.

"He killed a man," Lestat screamed.

"He killed a murderer," Lily replied.

"An eye for an eye and the world would be blind,"

"Someone has to be the executioner," Lily said. "I'd have done it, willingly,"

"You're a feisty little mudblood aren't you?" Rosier laughed. Lily shifted uncomfortably. James tensed up even more so than before. "Imperius!" Lestat screamed without warning. Suddenly Lily felt her limbs calm down – she was free of the strain the fight.

_Come to me- _Rosier's voice spoke in her head. _Yeah – I'll go to Lestat, that's a good idea!_ Lily thought to herself. She felt her feet moving forwards, taking her away from someone.

"LILY!" the voice called. _That's my name_! Lily recognised. _Why is my name being called? I'm going to Lestat._ "Don't go to him!" the voice said. Somewhere inside her she tore – one the one hand she wanted to go to Lestat, but there was something about that voice, something about how her heart thudded when it spoke that made her think about not going to Lestat. _Why can't Lestat come to me?_ She thought. _Why can't we meet half way?_

"Lestat, come here," Lily called, unsure how she was doing it. Her voice was so strong, and leaking out of her mouth. She hadn't meant it. Her foot stepped forwards, as Lestat did the same thing. "Meet me half way!" Lily called – it was a rational compromise. She'd been rational earlier – hadn't she? She remembered that voice saying she was rational. She tried it again. "Meet me half way!"

Lestat continued walking towards Lily. Behind her was James, distraught, screaming at Lestat, and Remus looking worried, and Charlotte, still unconscious on the floor. In front of her was Lestat advancing towards her, and the group of Slytherin's in a similar state to Charlotte. He reached her half way and smiled.

"Lily Evans – the one girl Potter can't catch," Lestat said to her. _Kiss Lestat _the voice inside her head ordered. _Now wait a minute, Voice – I think you must be new here – we don't just kiss people. Look what happened last time. Maybe we should check to see if he has a girlfriend._

"Do you have a girlfriend, Lestat?" Lily's voice said. Rational – she realised. Lestat laughed.

"No, I don't," he said. His voice felt like a part of her, embedded in her mind_. Kiss Lestat_, it said. _Well he doesn't have a girlfriend, and it appears that you want to kiss him Lily._

"_See_ Potter, this is how you do things!" Lestat said leaning in – Lily did the same, because it was what the voice was telling her to do. Lean in and pucker up.

"NO! LILY! PLEASE DON'T!" the other voice screamed. It appeared to be the rational speaking voice in her head. The voice that said – don't be silly, you don't even like Lestat.

"Hex me and I'll have her hurt, Potter!" Lestat laughed. _KISS LESTAT_ the voice finally screamed inside her head. All at once she found herself kissing the boy – his lips were course and horrible, he smelt a bit like vinegar and didn't taste at all like Butterbeer or even chocolate mousse.

James tasted like butterbeer – Rational Lily noted. James. James. James was the rational voice. James was behind her – Lestat's cousin James – the killer of Lestat's father. James Potter. She wondered why kissing Lestat felt so wrong, especially when thinking of James._ Because I don't want to kiss Lestat! Lily realised._

"NO!" Lily tore herself from Lestat, and the aching in her muscles and head fell back into her. "You don't taste like butterbeer!"

"What?" Lestat asked incredulously.

"I don't want to kiss you!" Lily screamed. "I want to kiss James!" Lily cried. "No… I don't… No! I don't want to kiss anyone," real Lily overtook rational Lily. The embarrassment seemed to break the curse.

"LILY!" James called, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine! I would like some mouthwash though!" Lily called back to him. "Where's Remus?"

"I sent him to get professor McGonagall!" James called to her. His voice came closer to her. She flicked her head back quickly and saw him standing beside her, his wand in one hand, hers in the other. She must've dropped it. Taking it from him she smiled.

"Did you just use the imperius curse to kiss me, Rosier?" Lily demanded. "You know you've got a problem when _that_ doesn't even work to pick up chicks!" James laughed.

"You filthy mudblood! Just because you can break my imperius doesn't mean you could break _his_," Rosier taunted. "You're the one's they're after! Blood traitors and mudbloods!"

"STUPEFY!" Lily and James called in union. Rosier took the full force of both curses and flew as far back as Rockwood. The second Lestat was face down on the floor James had thrown his arms around Lily.

"Are you okay?" he fussed. "I tried to take you out of it, I really did! I'm so sorry!" James cried.

"It's fine. I broke it," Lily said.

"You're feeling okay though? You don't feel as though you might still be under it?" James fretted. He moved a stray hair from her face, and within seconds he went from looking at her, to kissing her. His arms wrapped around her and tangled in the back of her hair. Her own lips moved against his own, happy to be home and away from Lestat. He didn't taste like butterbeer this time, but it didn't actually matter. Rational Lily was missing for a while. A small cough broke them apart.

"What's this?" McGonagall's shrill voice asked. Remus stood beside her, eyebrow raised, concealing a grin.

"Near death experiences, you know, Professor?" James laughed. He sounded breathy, either from the fighting or the post-fight-kissing. Lily was blushing a beetroot red.

"Indeed, Potter, Evans," McGonagall came closer to them. "Remus, could you fetch Healer Holloway, please? He's got six beds full tonight," the woman said surveying the crime scene.

"No point professor, I sent a message with a patronus," Remus explained.

"Quick thinking, Lupin," McGonagall congratulated.

"It was James' idea," he muffled. That was when she turned to the messy haired marauder who looked ever so guilty as he shuffled a few steps away from Lily. She was grateful for the distance between them.

"Potter, Evans! Explain yourselves!" the professor said, turning on James.

"I was err… walking with…" James started. "Bugger, this is embarrassing," James laughed, actually going red as McGonagall glared at him. "I was walking with Charlotte and we came upon this group of Slytherin's. Rosier attacked Charlotte, then Lily dived out of the broom closet with Remus, she stunned a few of them, took down Rockwood with something else, and then …" James looked at Lily. She nodded.

"Rosier had me under the Imperius curse," Lily explained. "Only for a few minutes – I broke it,"

"Students attacking each other left right and centre in the school? Imperius curses? Wait… what were you two doing hiding in the closet?" McGonagall asked of Lily and Remus, her eyebrow raised as if she couldn't believe the hormone levels of these Gryffindors. Lily burst red.

"We were on prefect duty and Remus said he heard voices, and I dived in here thinking it might be some sort of dangerous activities, that we could over hear and report back," Lily admitted. "Silly in hindsight, but…"

"The thinking of an auror," McGonagall smiled at Lily. "_Was_ it dangerous?"

"You have no idea," Remus mumbled. James glared at his friend.

"No, it was just Potter and Parkinson," Lily blushed. What must McGonagall think of Lily? Overhearing James with another girl, beating up some boys and then kissing him? When had she become such a ruffian? Finally the Cokeworth genes were coming out.

"Right – well, I think I'll overlook the whole out of bed situation, purely for the fact that had Miss Evans and Mr Lupin on their own I fear the worst may have happened," McGonagall said. "But that does not condone canoodling, Potter!" he and Remus looked at each other and chuckled.

"Yes professor," he dropped his head to hide his smirk. Contrary to Lily's opinion of him James didn't really enjoy being in detention, and didn't want to push his luck by laughing at the word canoodle.

"How are you feeling Lily? Breaking even a weak imperius can be exhausting…" McGonagall fussed. Lily smiled.

"Fine, professor, just…" she didn't have a word to describe it. The professor nodded.

"Yes, I know – Potter, Lupin, you shall return to your common room. Lily, you will come with me, I'll get you a nice cup of tea and we can have a chat," Lily froze. A chat? Could it be a chat about how she goes around canoodling with random marauders in broom closets and then beats up Slytherins and then continues to canoodle? Lily wondered if McGonagall appreciated or judged her ruffian ways – she thought that perhaps she could blame her behaviour on being ginger. The Professor would probably accept that as an excuse – she was Scottish after all. The Scots love ruffians!

"Yes Professor," the boys said miserably. Lily merely nodded, too many thoughts whizzing around in her head to make sensible words.

James and Remus left, stealing looks behind them at the worried Lily. Healer Holloway arrived accompanied by an airy silver wolf. Lily recognized it as Remus' patronus immediately and by instinct stroked its head. It ran around her once and disappeared into the ether. Holloway's reaction was one of total irritation. He requested that McGonagall and Lily help levitate the six bodies down to the infirmary. It was a long and arduous journey, but eventually they made it, and were able to line the unconscious on the beds. When this was done, McGonagall places charms around the Slytherin's beds. Then Holloway took to renervating those who were able to be renervated, and sorted out their injuries. McGonagall promised to issue them a visit in the morning accompanied by Professor Dumbledore. Holloway offered her some dreamless-sleep draught, and she took a vial thankfully.

Then she requested that Lily follow her up to her office on the fourth floor. Unlike the trip down there, the journey away from the Hospital wing was entirely too fast. Lily's stomach was eating itself alive and her heart was hammering against her ribs. When McGonagall opened the door, switched on a light and put the kettle on the fire, Lily was practically hyperventilating.

"Lily, I've wanted to talk with you for a while now," _Oh no – she knows about James._ "I've been hearing things since the end of the last term, that suggest that you have changed," _The gossip of how she fancies James, maybe? Or how she has become a common place thug who loves to harm Slytherins and then make out with James? _"Professor Devarius has increasingly been coming to me with your praise," _praise_? _Was Devarius Scottish too? _"Professor Slughorn, and myself have also noticed great improvements with your already fantastic work. I am to be meeting with everyone at some point later in the year to discuss NEWT options and options about work outside of Hogwarts. After this evening's events I really think you should consider the direction of Auror," Lily was taken aback. Being an auror is something she'd thought about – obviously – but she'd never thought she'd meet the mark. Alice and Frank were both going for Auror training, and Lily had never considered that it could be something she could do. McGonagall poured some tea into a cup and handed it to Lily. She sipped it- Earl Grey – her favourite.

"Right…" Lily said, unable to think of anything even slightly intelligent. Not a great trait in an auror, Lily thought. "Thank you, professor,"

"Then again, Healer might be more your route?" McGonagall asked.

"I'd… rather auror – I want to… I want to stop the war, Professor," McGonagall looked at her sternly for a minute. "I used to want to be a healer… but…"

"Miss Evans, in the years to come your help will be more than needed," McGonagall said. "Even now, your behaviour today – hiding to find some information? It was completely reckless, but well done. That is something I would wish you to continue. There are dangerous people around, Miss Evans. I do not wish you to put yourself in danger, but we need eyes and ears. Thank you, you may go," McGonagall nodded. Lily stood up and went for the door. "Oh, and Miss Evans?"

"Yes Professor?" Lily said, turning around to look at her.

"Mr Potter has a troubled past, of which I believe you are aware?" Lily nodded. "He'll need someone like you around, Miss Evans – to keep him sane,"

"Thank you, Professor," Lily smiled, and left.

In the corridor Lily celebrated a "Professor McGonagall doesn't think I'm a ruffian" dance to calm her nerves, and when her heart had finally returned back to its normal pace she set off to the common room. There was no one about, so the only person she bumped into was the translucent figure of Nearly Headless Nick, who was apparently playing hide and seek with the Bloody Baron. When she finally crawled back through the portrait hole she found Remus and James waiting for her by the fire.

"Lily!" James jumped up. "Are you okay?"

"I'm good, McGonagall just wanted to check me over and talk to me about becoming an auror," Lily explained happily. She checked the clock – 12:50. The thought itself made her yawn.

"Are you tired?" James worried.

"Yes, a little," she admitted. "That reminds me!" she fiddled in her pocket, happening upon the small vile in her robes. "Dreamless sleep," she handed it to him. He was silent. "James?"

"You… got this for me?" James wondered.

"Yes – Remus said you were finding it hard to sleep…" Lily said, putting it into his hands. He threw his arms around her, pulling her into an enveloping hug. "Jeez Potter, it's only a potion!"

"James, let Lily go," Remus laughed shakily.

"Sorry," James apologized with a smile. "You okay?"

"I'm bloody fine, Potter!" Lily exclaimed. "Now, I'm going to bed, okay?"

"Okay, night," Remus smiled. "Oh and Lily?"

"Yes, Remus?"

"I'm going to do it…" he replied with a grin. "Thanks,"

The nightmares came like darkness from shadows, seeping into the fibre of dreams. Every evening the dimness came – every evening the obscurity flicked from memory to dream. He shuddered with the ferocity of it. Every evening the same face – light hair – yellow eyes – the smirk. The progressive motion of knowing what was real and feeling it in his heart – the control of that magic. It was a memory he knew to be true, but the details had been forgotten. They didn't exist. It was a fact in a textbook or in a dictionary or on a piece of parchment. It was somewhere, but it had never been inside his head. The nightmares possessed him. They were the screams that hadn't been his mother's and they hadn't been his. He hadn't screamed – it was his saving grace.

He screamed nightly now. Each evening, falling to that shaky ground he called a bed, fighting off the inevitable. He'd sleep – he'd dream – he'd see something beautiful, maybe flowers (maybe lilies). The petals would turn to faces, shuddering and falling empty. He'd see his mother crying and telling him to run – he'd see the mirror and in it he'd see himself as he was or would be – at Hogwarts, Quidditch captain, that was something. He'd feel the grip on his shoulder tighten, he'd hear the curse shouted and he'd watch his mother falling and crying. He felt a lot of things that day, but power, control, and vengeance had not been there. He felt them now.

He'd replay the memory – word for word – he'd watch himself kill. Sirius would be there when he woke, sweating into his sheets, tears fully formed in his eyes.

"Bad dream again?" Sirius would ask, knowing full well that it was the case. James would nod. "You almost made it through the night,"

"That shouldn't be a success," James would say bitterly. "They shouldn't be happening,"

But this evening he slept the night through. He didn't dream. One minute he was lying in the dark, the next he opened his eyes and it was the daytime. Sirius was sat with him, waiting for the supposedly inevitable screaming, but it never came. He smiled at his friend.

"You alright mate?" Sirius asked.

"Never better," he admitted happily.


	8. Chapter 8 On the Upside

**8. On the Upside**

Charlotte never found out about the kiss, and the school never found out about what had caused Lestat Rosier to be expelled from Hogwarts. Some of the rumours following this event were so far off it was laughable to Lily, James and Remus, but some of them were very close to the truth – worryingly so. No one knew who had been involved, though due to Charlotte's incarceration many people pieced together that James was probably involved in some way, and maybe another marauder. No one guessed that Lily had been involved, which was both insulting and a relief. The only reminder the girl had of that even was when Professor McGonagall requested that Lily stay behind one transfiguration lesson to bestow some Auror leaflets upon her.

There _had_ been some good to come of that night, however. Lily had somehow convinced Remus to finally ask Emmeline to Hogsmeade, and he'd been true to his word. The day following the attack Remus marched right up to the five of them milling around outside of charms, took Emmeline off and asked her. When she returned, Emmeline's face was the perfect picture of happiness – she'd said yes - Obviously. The entire following lesson no one paid attention to Flitwick, but scribbled notes to one another about what Emmeline would wear and how exciting and romantic the whole thing was. Marlene winked at Lily in congratulations.

At lunch two days before the Hogsmeade trip, Lily and Marlene found themselves alone with no one but Adam for company. Mary was finishing her potions essay in the library, which was due next lesson – Lily had refused to help in the hope that she would learn that she needed to organize herself more. Emmeline and Donna were both in detention for skiving History of Magic for the eight times that term; and the marauders were probably off causing some sort of pre-Halloween mischief. Since their previous matching had gone so well, the group decided to work on their next project – Donna Shacklebolt.

"No offense to the girl but she's not the… friendliest of gals," Adam added when they were short listing guys to set her up with.

"And she's a bit of a gossip," Lily fretted.

"She's pretty though!" Marlene said.

"Guys don't just want pretty, Marley," Adam said. Marlene and Lily laughed.

"Okay – so we need someone as prone to a natter as her, obsessed with good looks and maybe a little unintelligible that they don't understand when she's insulting them?" Marlene scribbled down a list. Adam's eyes looked like they were going to burst.

"I think I've got your guy!" Adam called, jumping from the Gryffindor table and running across the hall. Lily and Marlene watched him running like a loon.

"Mr McKinnon! This is a school hall, not a running track!" McGonagall screeched from across the room. The girls burst out laughing. Adam continued his journey walking at a fast pace, and returned pulling a good looking blonde from the Ravenclaw table.

"Girls, I'd like to introduce you to Gilderoy Lockheart," Adam smiled. "He's a fourth year,"

"That won't be a problem," Lily smiled. "Sit down Gilderoy,"

"Lily Evans, enchanted," he said in a faux-French accent that reminded her of James. Her stomach squirmed. Gilderoy Lockheart was actually heart wrenchingly good looking – he had long blonde hair, perfect cheekbones and powder blue eyes. Even Marlene was taken in by him. "And you are?"

"Marlene Tolkien," Adam introduced her.

"Wonderful," he said with a wink. "So, Adam says you have a proposition for me?" Gilderoy smiled – it was perfectly in place. Lily would place money that he practised that smile in the mirror.

"Oh yeah," Lily giggled. "Do you have a date to Hogsmeade, Gilderoy?"

"Why? Are you asking me?" he chuckled. Lily blushed.

"No, well sort of – we were just wondering if you could ask our friend Donna Shacklebolt?" Lily said.

"Isn't that the girl who hexed Amos last term?" Gilderoy asked tentatively. Lily had forgotten that incident and burst into hysterics.

"Yes, she's feisty," Lily laughed. "A good challenge,"

"Challenge, eh?" Gilderoy thought through this – it looked like brain movement pained him. "I accept this challenge!" Lily and Marlene clapped.

"Wonderful!" Marlene smiled. "Thanks Gil,"

"My pleasure, Marlene Tolkien," Gilderoy said, waving gracefully, and made his way back to the Ravenclaw table. Lily noticed Marlene checking him out with a tilted head and nudged him.

"That is Donna's future boyfriend, Tolkien!" Lily laughed. "Well found, Adam! You're good at this match making business,"

"So that's Em and Donna sorted, right?" Adam said getting back to business. "Mary?"

"No movement on that front, Mare's terrified of blokes," Marlene said. "Especially the guys she normally goes for,"

"What's that?" Adam asked.

"Gorgeous, smart, athletic – able to trump her in a duel," Lily listed.

"Then go for someone not any of those things," Adam said simply.

"She'd never go for them – we're just going to have a girly day, I reckon," Marlene smiled. Lily nodded and took a bite of her sandwich.

"Oh, right," Adam looked sad. Lily spotted it, but Marlene didn't seem to.

"You could come with us, Adam," Lily smiled. "It might be a bit dull for you, but it'll be nice having more than just us three?" he perked up again.

"Yeah, that sounds cool!" Adam said with a grin. "I wasn't going to go, but yeah! It'll be fun!"

The following day, everyone was full of excitement for the weekend. Halloween decorations had gone up and everyone was getting their outfits ready for the next day. Lily was down to breakfast earlier than most people, and was helping herself to a croissant. Fairly contented to sit there for twenty minutes until Marlene, Emmeline, Mary and Donna decided to eat; Lily opened a book and began to read. Five minutes later, however, she was interrupted.

"Why do you wake up so early?" James Potter groaned. He looked sleepy, and as though he just rolled out of bed.

"The early bird catches the worm – in this case, the best croissants," Lily snickered.

"Yeah, but the second mouse gets the cheese," James retorted. Lily burst into laughter.

"Touché, Potter," Lily said, still chuckling to herself. James plonked himself into the seat beside her and started buttering some toast. "Excited for tomorrow?"

"Indubitably," he said moodily.

"You okay, Potter?" Lily asked sympathetically.

"Just tired – haven't slept," James explained. "We finished the… extra transfiguration work, last night,"

"What? Really?" Lily exclaimed. "That's fantastic! Well done!"

"It would be – if your buddy Snape hadn't seen us coming in this morning – carrying Remus," James muttered. "Covered in blood,"

"Oh…" Lily understood. "I'll make sure he doesn't guess…" she promised.

"You managed to convince Remus to ask out Vance, I suppose if anyone can do it, it's you," James half smiled.

"Cheer up, Potter," Lily said. "Hogsmeade tomorrow,"

"James!" Charlotte squawked from across the room. "You look like a mess!"

"Thanks," James muttered. Charlotte sat beside him and planted her face on his. When she pulled away Charlotte seemed to notice Lily.

"Lily," she said civilly. Since their cry-fest together they'd been on better terms than before, but Charlotte seemed sure that Lily was always trying to steal James from her. Fair guess really – Lily thought – she _had_ kissed him. That fact had gone unmentioned between the two of them, but they seemed to be almost on speaking terms, so it wasn't too bad.

"Morning, Charlotte," said Lily with a smile.

Emmeline and Mary found it fit to saunter into the Great Hall at that moment, acting as a great deterrent from conversation with Parkinson. Lily waved them over with a grin. They immediately spotted her dilemma and sped up their pace, plopping down opposite her.

"Morning, Lil!" Mary said airily. "Good croissants?"

"Always!" Lily smiled. "How're you two this fine morning?"

"A darn sight better than Potter, obviously," Emmeline said looking at James. "You look rough, bro,"

"Why does everyone keep telling me that?" James cried, dropping his head onto his plate with a clatter.

"Why do you have a twig in your hair?" Charlotte asked, pulling not just a twig, but half a branch from his messy black locks.

"Post!" Mary announced. Lily looked up and saw a flock of owls soaring over the jack-o-lanterns put up for the festivities. Scouring the drove Lily spotted her own owl headed towards her. It landed on James' head, which everyone laughed at. Picking a corner off her croissant Lily fed it to the bird. Then the owl held out his leg and allowed Lily to remove the letter. It was from her sister.

_Lily,_

_I won't even attempt to describe my disgust at this animal. It came through the window at breakfast – what if the neighbours had seen? You'll have to be more careful in the future. In any case Mother and Father were very thankful for your letter, though I don't see why they'd enjoy such drivel about duelling and 'auroring' – we don't live in the middle ages Lil.  
Mother has instructed me that I should tell you how I am. I am good. I have a job at a drill company as an assistant and I have broken up with Pete. This is good, because I think my new boss, Vernon, might be taking a fancy in me. We'll see, shall we?  
No doubt you have yourself a harem of men in that foolish school of yours – co-ed schooling is wrong. You'll have got yourself knocked up before you finish there, mark my words.  
I am writing instead of Mother today, because she is in the hospital. Father has taken a turn to the worst and they don't know what is wrong. Mother promises to keep you posted.  
That's all – I'm not going to bother asking about how you are- I'll just read "A day in the life of a freak" and I'm sure I'll figure it out.  
Bye then,  
Petunia Evans._

Lily read and reread the letter, tears threatening in the back of her eyes and in her throat. She could feel the eyes of everyone looking at her, but she didn't acknowledge them. She couldn't understand how her sister could be so harsh – they'd been the best of friends once. Lily scrunched the parchment up in her hands. Her father was ill again and Tuney had barely given that any thought. It's not like Lily didn't care about what happened to her family, just because she went to Hogwarts! Standing up Lily excused herself and ran to the common room.

The room was empty. Grabbing her back, Lily pulled out a spare scrap of parchment and a quill, and scribbled down a quick note asking for more information on her father than Petunia had divulged and sprinted up to the owlery. Coaxing down a well-rested owl with some bird feed, Lily attached the note to its leg and sent it off on its way. Noting the time on her wrist watch, Lily grabbed her bag and sprinted towards her Defence Against the Dark Arts. Luckily no one had gone in, and as she rounded the corner everyone watched her heading towards them, red in the face.

"Lil, what's up?" Emmeline asked when Lily finally panted to a stop.

"Nothing, I'm fine," Lily insisted.

"You're lying," Emmeline continued.

"No – honestly, just a bit of bad news in the mail," Lily said with an unconvincing smile. She spotted James and Charlotte chatting with Sirius about a metre away. James was looking over at her, a tight frown knotted into his lips – Charlotte was scowling at Sirius as ever.

"Are you sure?" Emmeline asked.

"You're relentless, you know that?" Lily laughed.

Professor Devarius appeared looked hassled, ushering the class into the room. Emmeline pulled on Lily's hand to ensure the best seats in the middle of the class, pushing her past half of their Defence class. As they wiggled past Sirius, James and Charlotte Lily heard something that she didn't want to.

"Who cares about Evans? She's a freak!" It was from Charlotte. The word stabbed her in the gut, and she dropped her head to avoid eye contact. Freak – freak in school, freak at home. Her eyes tore past the crowd to see James' eyes staring wide at her.

"Lily! She didn't mean it!" he called out.

"Yes I did – don't stick up for her," Charlotte sassed.

"Don't be such a bitch, Lottie," Emmeline replied in honour of Lily.

"Shut up Emmeline!" Charlotte shouted. "This has nothing to do with you,"

"It has something to do with my best friend, so yeah – I'm going to say it has something to do with me," Emmeline shouted.

"I don't see how a freak-" but no one found out what Charlotte didn't see how a freak would do what, because Lily, enraged at the entire situation that was unfolding, screamed out loud.

"Please just shut the heck up you conceited little bitch!" Lily yelled. "No one gives a damn about what you have to say – honestly, I don't see how Potter can even stand to _talk_ to you. Although I suppose that's hardly the point of you…" Emmeline chocked out laughter and applause. Charlotte however was not as amused by Lily's outburst and stepped forwards, removing her wand from her robes. Lily was quick on the ball however, and had her own wand in hand in half the time. "Try it…"

"Oh Evans, I pity you. You're so stuck in your own little books with your idiot friends that you think you're actually worth something. James doesn't want you, and if he ever did it was hardly for riveting conversation. You're a freak!" Charlotte snarled. Lily, stood less than half a step away from the girl felt the blood rise in her face, and before she knew it her wand was back in her robes and she was slapping the smirk off of Charlotte Parkinson's face.

The slap echoed through the hall, and though most of the crowd was silent there was also a few hoots and chuckles. The first person to speak was not Charlotte, Lily, nor any of the expected members of the crowd, but Madam Devarius, who was stood in the doorway of the classroom – an angry and bemused shock written over the visible half of her face. Lily looked at her, then back to Charlotte who had tears in her eyes and a red mark the shape on Lily's hand on her face. James was nowhere to be seen.

"Lily, Miss Parkinson – what is the meaning of this?" Devarius demanded.

"Lily was just defending herself Madam!" Emmeline said at once, noticing Lily's ashamed silence.

"Yeah! Charlotte was being really mean!" A random Ravenclaw added. There was a muttering of people agreeing.

"I asked the explanation from the girls – everyone else into the class room – I will be present shortly," the Professor commanded. No one moved. "Now, or you will be joining Miss' Evans and Parkinson for detention!" everyone shuffled into the classroom, some of the faces smiling encouragingly at Lily. One boy even gave her a thumbs up. "Lily, I expected better behaviour of you!"

"I'm sorry professor," Lily said, her head bowed.

"It's not me you should apologise to – is there something you wish to say to Miss Parkinson?"

"No – I'm not sorry for my actions. I am sorry that you over estimated me, but I do not regret what I have done," Lily maintained. Both the Professor's and Charlotte's jaws fell in shock.

"What?" Charlotte roared. "You slapped me,"

"Yes, I did, Charlotte, and do you know why? Because I am bored of you insulting me every day since the beginning of our first year. So what I have the bed that you wanted! So what, that you're so insecure about your relationship that you feel it necessary to belittle me in front of James. He didn't exactly come to your rescue today, did he? Maybe you should just grow up!" Lily professed.

"Oh, this isn't about a boy, is it?" Professor Devarius inferred.

"No," Lily said immediately. Charlotte stayed quite – seething and throwing Lily angry glares from across the corridor.

_Charlotte wished to tell her Professor that "Yes, it _is_ about a boy, isn't it always? Surely as a woman you relate?" but she kept her mouth closed. She thought back to the morning's breakfast. Lily had been sat next to him when she'd finally found him. He'd promised to wait for her to walk her down to Breakfast, but she didn't press him. He probably just forgot, she reasoned with herself. And the fact that he was with Lily was fine, Lily had rejected him. _But she still likes him –_The devil inside her mind called.  
Then the girl got the letter, just as Charlotte was relating a particularly funny joke to James. The boy however, didn't seem to hear the punch line about the Japanese golfer, as everyone's attentions had turned to Lily. She was crying – what a baby. So of course she pretended to be worried about the girl, so that James would think she was nice. James didn't actually notice the fact she was pretending to care, so she stopped as quickly as possible. Lily ran off clutching the scrunched up letter and wiping her eyes. She turned to Sirius._

"_Weird," she commented, attempting to make friendship with the boy that was so persistently against her._

"_Lily's not weird," he growled._

"_No need to be hostile," she retorted, and turned to James beside her. She ran her hand through his hair as he so often did himself. He pushed her away, and looked after Lily._

"_I might go and find her," James fretted._

"_James, she probably just needs to be alone," Emmeline said calmly, having returned to her breakfast._

"_The last time she received a letter and reacted like that it was three years ago. Is she still arguing with her sister?" James inquired of her friends._

"_I think so, apparently there was a big family fall out this summer," Emmeline said. Sirius was starting to look worried too. "She doesn't really talk about it,"_

"_Maybe you should go, Prongs," Sirius suggested. Charlotte never understood those stupid nicknames._

"_Eat your breakfast, James," Charlotte interjected. "You'll get hungry,"_

"_I'm going to go look for her," said James decidedly. Charlotte sighed._

"_But James!" she started._

"_I'll meet you in Defence, okay?" he turned to her for the first time since Lily's disappearance and kissed her on the head – not the lips – the head._

"_Er, right, okay," Charlotte agreed and watched him jog off behind Lily. Sighing again, and dropping face chin into her left hand she felt annoyed. It wasn't the first time James Potter put Lily Evans in front of her._

"_What's up, Parkinson?" Emmeline shouted across the few spaces between them._

"_What do you think?" she muttered in reply._

"_James?" Charlotte nodded._

"_He doesn't seem to… like me," Charlotte admitted sadly._

"_Of course he likes you!" Emmeline asserted kindly. "It's just…"_

"_Just what?" Charlotte, now worried, asked._

"_James has fancied Lily since first year, and though they'd both deny it, they kind of have a history," Sirius interjected._

"_They're there for each other when they need each other," Emmeline added._

"_The thing about Lily is that she's smart, funny, totally gorgeous, barmy, and she's probably the only person in existence with the ability to control James," Sirius informed Charlotte. "He's always going to have her on a podium,"_

"_Not saying that you're none of those things, of course," Emmeline maintained. She must have noticed the dishevelled sadness that had crossed Charlotte's face._

_Finishing her breakfast, Charlotte trudged up to the common room, where she saw James sat on a chair facing the dormitory stairs. He spotted her and smiled._

"_Just the person!" he announced, and she felt a tremble shiver through her heart. "I need you to go and see if Lily is actually up there," her heart sank into her stomach._

"_Right, sure," she attempted a smile. Just as she was about to ascend the first step he tugged on her wrist and dropped a kiss on her lips. She returned the favour and pulled away smiling. Skipping up the stairwell to her dormitory she discovered that Lily Evans wasn't present in the room, so grabbed her books, stuffed them into her bag and ran back to James. "Sorry, she's not there," James' face dropped him his practiced smile._

"_Oh, okay," he said. "You ready for Defence?" she nodded._

"_We're duelling this lesson, right?" Charlotte asked. "Only, I haven't packed my book because I think it's a practical lesson,"_

"_Yeah, that's what Devarius said last lesson," James confirmed. He then took her hand and led her down the marauder route (AKA the fastest route) to their defence against the dark arts lesson. There was something about his upright posture that suggested that he'd been hoping that Lily had been present. Charlotte herself almost expected to see the girl waiting patiently with a smile outside the wooden door. There was no such luck. Sirius, Emmeline and Marlene were all stood about with their bags hung over their shoulders, though. James headed towards the small group and joined in the conversation, which turned out to be worrying about Lily again._

"_I couldn't find her – she wasn't in the common room, I checked… the majority of the corridors, but nothing," James was saying._

"_I'm really worried about her," Emmeline fretted._

_Then Lily rounded the corner, looking red in the face – hair wild. Charlotte rolled her eyes, but couldn't help noticing James looking at Lily – his eyes had grown and he'd taken a step away from Charlotte and closer to the girl herself. Her eyes were slightly puffy and she looked like a mess – Charlotte didn't understand why the boy would find her attractive. Emmeline walked over to Lily and met her half way to the classroom._

"_Lil, what's up?" Emmeline asked when Lily finally panted to a stop._

"_Nothing, I'm fine," Lily insisted._

"_She's lying," James pointed out in a whisper to Sirius._

"_You're lying," Emmeline continued._

"_No – honestly, just a bit of bad news in the mail," Lily said with an unconvincing smile._

"_See, Parkinson – the girl is faultless," Sirius laughed._

"_She is not. She's all sweaty and blotchy in the face – hardly picture perfect," Charlotte mumbled._

"_Then why are you so jealous?" Sirius goaded._

"_I'm not…"_

"_Do you think I should go and ask how she is?" James interrupted._

"_Who cares about Evans? She's a freak!" Charlotte found herself screaming. She shot a look over at Lily who looked so hurt she almost wanted to take it back. But she didn't, she just glared at her. James had obviously noticed the look in her eyes as he stepped forwards and grabbed for her hand. He missed but did call out._

"_Lily! She didn't mean it!"_

"_Yes I did – don't stick up for her," Charlotte asserted._

"_Don't be such a bitch, Lottie," Emmeline shouted at her. Only minutes ago Emmeline had been having a perfectly friendly conversation with her, and now this?_

"_Shut up Emmeline!" Charlotte retorted. "This has nothing to do with you,"_

"_It has something to do with my best friend, so yeah – I'm going to say it has something to do with me," Emmeline shouted back._

"_I don't see how a freak…" she started, but was interjected by a high pitched wail._

"_Please just shut the heck up you conceited little bitch!" Lily yelled to her face. "No one gives a damn about what you have to say – honestly, I don't see how Potter can even stand to talk to you. Although I suppose that's __**hardly the point of you**__…" There was a surprised outburst of applause, coming mainly from Emmeline, but also the rest of the class who had known a fight when they saw one and crowded for a better look. She stepped forwards towards the taller girl, hoping to scare her by removing her wand from her robes, but she had underestimated Lily. Unafraid of being caught wands out in the corridor, she scoffed. "Try it…" Charlotte knew she couldn't actually attack Lily – Sirius had been right, Evans was very smart, and would surely out-hex her._

"_Oh Evans, I pity you. You're so stuck in your own little books with your idiot friends that you think you're actually worth something. James doesn't want you, and if he ever did it was hardly for riveting conversation. You're a freak!" Charlotte snarled. She felt a smirk rising in her face as the pain crossed Lily's face. She obviously still liked James. Wait – shouldn't James be here, sticking up for her? She went to look around for him but felt a stinging slap against the side of her face. Lily Evans had slapped her._

"_Lily, Miss Parkinson – what is the meaning of this?" Devarius demanded, having walked out of her classroom to see what the commotion was about._

"_Lily was just defending herself Madam!" Emmeline defended immediately. Lily was dejectedly silent._

"_Yeah! Charlotte was being really mean!" Cormac McLaggen added. There was a muttering of people agreeing. Charlotte felt enraged!_

_Then of course there was the fact that Lily wasn't even sorry about the fact that she'd hit her, and that she had the nerve to think herself as the victim. James' absence wasn't unnoticed by her either and she'd be asking him about that as soon as she got out of this damned corridor. Devarius however continued rattling on._

"Well, whatever this is about you will both be serving detention. Let's see – tomorrow, 12 o'clock, midday," Devarius considered.

"But Professor! Tomorrow is Hogsmeade!" Charlotte squawked. "I have a date!"

"Hogsmeade is a privilege, and not one that brawling fifth years should be allowed," Devarius spoke sternly. "Is that clear?" Lily and Charlotte both nodded. Lily herself wasn't annoyed with having to miss Hogsmeade – the trips had lost their novelty, and when it would just be her, Mary, Marlene and Adam she figured there would be better things to be doing. Granted, detention wasn't one of them. "Lily, you will meet me here, Miss Parkinson, you will help Mr Filch to clean the owlery – I heard him complaining about the state of it this morning,"

"Why can't Evans do that?" Charlotte moaned.

"Well, it was Miss Evans who attacked you – you surely want her to have a worse detention than you?" Devarius bargained. Lily felt outraged – what a scandal. And all the while she had assumed Devarius had taken a likening to her. Charlotte added up this new information and nodded grotesquely. As she did this Madam Devarius shot what Lily assumed must be a wink her way. Lily calmed immediately. It was her first ever detention, but she did like Madam Devarius, and it seemed that it was a requited liking. At least she wouldn't be cleaning owl poop with Charlotte, Lily thought. What a ruffian I am – she thought.

Devarius scooted them back into the classroom, where Lily sat despondently next to a confused Severus Snape. He must not have seen the epic battle, and kept sending her notes reading:

"Is it true you slapped Charlotte?"

"Why did you slap Charlotte?"

"Where's Potter?"

"Did you slap Potter too?"

Lily eventually wrote him a small paragraph about Petunia's letter, her own upset, and the events that lead and followed the slapping of Charlotte Parkinson. She also explained that she had no idea where Potter was, and Sirius' blank and puzzled looks weren't helping her deduce anything. Eventually Severus accepted the story, just as Madam Devarius was once again explaining the safety and rules of their duelling lesson.

Lily noticed her professor's insistence that Lily not work anywhere near Charlotte Parkinson, probably in fear of a "stray hex," and instead put her at the far front of the classroom with Marlene. Emmeline was working with Sirius, and Severus was working with Remus. Devarius seemed to consider who to put Sev with for a while, and Lily considered that it was probably quite a hard thing to do, what with his unfriendly nature to most people. Lily had been hearing things about his behaviour around the school. It unnerved her.

Lily and Marlene were giggling whilst seeing who could be most creative in their hexes – so far Lily had made Marlene bright blue, made her skin taste like sausage meat, and made her dance and sing to the latest Three Witches song. Marlene hadn't even bothered blocking them, as they were both so amused by the effects of the magic. Once Lily had returned her to her normal state, Marlene started an armada of charms on Lily, who blocked, dodged or shielded them all. Half way through the lesson, however, there was a distraction from their serious defensive work.

James Potter was stood at the door of the room – his head apparently floating as his eyes stared at Lily. As soon as her eyes adjusted to the bodiless James, confusion washed over her – what was he up to? She shuffled towards the door, glad to be near the front of the classroom to be able to do so. He smiled as she approached.

"Hey, come here," he instructed.

"I can't just leave class!" Lily hissed. "Not all of us want to… why don't you have a body?" James laughed.

"Leave class and I'll tell you!" he bartered.

Lily strutted off to Marlene, muttering something about the cheek of some people. However, it was less than a minute before her curiosity got the better of her. She skipped over to Marlene, explained the situation into her ear, and they formed a plan. Lily returned to her stance in the duelling formation and Marlene threw a particularly nasty Anteoculatia hex at her. Apparently oblivious, Lily was unable to shield the attack and immediately sprouted a glorious pair of antlers out the top of her head. Sirius Black barked with laughter.

"Madam!" Marlene called out. "I'm afraid I seem to have ruined Lily's head!" Devarius turned to find the antlered girl stood, with her heavy head balanced on the wall.

"Tolkien! What… oh never mind, take her to the Hospital Wing!" Devarius shouted across the room, whilst putting out a small fire with the flick of her wand. Duelling lessons always passed with a similar atmosphere of chaos.

Lily attempted to haul her head up, but did so only by using her hands. Marlene grabbed both of their bags and they made their way out of the classroom (though, not before Devarius reminded Lily of her detention time and place). James was waiting (full bodied) in the corridor. He looked at Lily's new head-attire and burst into laughter.

"Oh, Prongs!" he cried with hysterical chuckles. "Lily, you're one in a million, you know that?"

"You don't happen to know the counter curse, do you?" Lily asked hopefully. Her head was awfully heavy supporting these giant antlers.

"Of course I do," James laughed. "I just don't know if I prefer you with or without the new addition,"

"Please, they're heavy," Lily pleaded. Whether it was the look on her face or the fact that he'd just seen her slap Charlotte, he obliged her request. With a muttering of the incantation and a wave of his wand Lily felt the antlers disappear at once. "Thank you, James,"

"Right, so what's up?" he bombarded her.

"No – you're going to tell me how you were all head and no body," Lily demanded.

"Don't tell me you missed my body, Lil," James winked suggestively.

"Shut up and tell me!" Lily hissed.

"Only if you tell me what's up," James compromised.

"If I recall correctly, you said you would tell me if I left class, and look! Here I am: Truanting just to find out. So spill!" Lily insisted. James thought on this for a while, then smiled at Marlene.

"Marlene! Would you rather know how I became bodiless or why Lily ran away from Breakfast in a burst of tears?" James quizzed her.

"That's cheating!" objected Lily loudly. It was a little _too_ loud, as seconds following her outburst James pulled her by the arm behind a tapestry, where there was a hidden corridor behind it. Marlene followed. The three of them stood with their ears to the drapery. Hissing and shouting came followed by the dulcet tones of Mr Filch and his mewing ball of cat, as the pair fell into the corridor.

"I heard it! Sniff them out my lovely," Filch babbled incoherently.

"C'mon," James whispered, beaconing in the dark for the girls to follow his lead. He shuffled silently through the dark corridor, occasionally knocking on the wall. Finally there was an echo beneath his fist, and his face burst into a grin. Kneeling down, James found a latch or handle and pushed the wall open. Standing gracefully and stepping through the wall they found themselves across the other side of the school, removing themselves from an old statue.

They raced up the stairwell as fast as possible, until Lily (the only non-Quidditch player present) fell short of breath, and they walked the rest of the way. Eventually they came upon the portrait of the fat lady, James gave the password and they filed in. Alice was sat at a study desk with an open book.

"You three look like three people who shouldn't be in the common room," the prefect goaded.

"Marlene and I were excused due to an unexpected bout of antlers," Lily laughed.

"And I don't play by the rules," James quipped. Alice chuckled.

"Right, well- just don't be too loud, I'm trying to learn how to turn this rat into a lamp," Alice snickered.

"What's your problem with that? That's easy!" James proclaimed. Alice gawked at him.

"You're a fifth year! What do you know?" she grumbled angrily and returned to her book.

"A lot," said James. "Show me what you've got so far," Alice looked at him incredulously, but took out her wand nevertheless. "Vicisrem," Alice said clearly and flounced her wand. The rat changed into a light bulb. "That's where you're going wrong!" James told her.

He budged her over to share her seat, transfigured the rat back, and then spoke the same incantation. "Vicisrem!" he slurred with a roll on the r. His wand made a circular movement and ended with a flick of the wrist. The rat grew and changed at once, into a standing five foot lamp, which set a glow over the table. "You have to flick the wrist and roll the r," he informed her.

"Right, okay – change it back," James did as she instructed, and she proceeded to take James' advice. In a second the rat had turned into a rather ugly, but none the less working lamp. The small group cheered. "Oh, wow – thanks, Potter," Alice said with a grin. "That frees me up for this afternoon. I'm going to find Frank. Thanks again!" she threw her books and rat into her bag and skipped out of the common room. James fell back onto the arm chair; Lily and Marlene shared the sofa.

"Why do you do that?" Lily asked.

"Do what?" James questioned in return.

"That! The whole everything's easy, look you can do anything you put your mind to act," Lily bugged.

"I didn't realise I did an act," James considered softly. "Sorry,"

"You are infuriating," Lily groaned.

"I don't understand what I've done wrong," James said to Lily, and then he turned to Marlene, "Do you understand what I've done wrong?"

"She's trying really hard to hate you," Marlene explained with a small smile. "You're making it really hard,"

"Exactly!" Lily exclaimed. "You didn't even stop me whacking your girlfriend!"

"About that…" James warned.

"Here it comes," Lily whistled. "I've got a detention, there's no need to reprimand me,"

"What I was going to say..." James started with a grin, "is that I'm sorry she called you that…"

"A freak? I'm used to it," Lily told him bitterly.

"Sister?"

"Yup," and he knew with that one word what was wrong. Pushing Marlene aside he wriggled into the seat beside her and put his arm around her.

"Remember what I told you in second year?" he asked softly.

"That I should just hex Petunia and get it over and done with?" Lily replied solemnly. The thought had certainly crossed her mind since he'd suggested it, but she'd never gone through with it.

"No, the fact that no one could hate you," James chuckled. "I said that it was an impossibility,"

"Right…" Lily wondered, not sure where James was going with the point.

"I think Lottie and your sister do hate you, for the things everyone else loves you for," James continued. "You're amazing and perfect, and clever and funny, and god knows you're the only person around here who can calm Sirius down, but Lottie is… beautiful but fairly average,"

"Oh Merlin!" Marlene exclaimed. "Sirius said the exact same thing to her this morning!"

"What?" James turned on Marlene.

"Yeah, he was trying to explain why you were quite happy to forget her existence and run right after Lily, and… he didn't say she was average," Marlene covered for the boy. "He was just… very pro-Lily,"

"Hence why she turned on me this morning," Lily moped.

"I'm sorry, Lily!" James cried. "This is my fault again, isn't it?" Marlene nodded, Lily nudged her.

"What? It _is_ his fault! You wouldn't have detention tomorrow if it wasn't for him," Marlene pointed out.

"You have detention tomorrow?" James shrieked. "Oh, Lily, I'm sorry! I'll explain it all to Devarius if you want,"

"No – it's fine. Though that reminds me, you won't have a date tomorrow," Lily fretted.

"Oh – never mind, Sirius doesn't either," James perked up. "That'll stop him complaining!"

"You're not even bothered?" Marlene laughed.

"Well, not really," James admitted with a grin.

"She's going to the owlery," Lily laughed.

"Oh she's going to hate that!" Marlene snorted. "I do not pity you!"

"I'm not doing poop-duty," Lily corrected her. "I am with Devarius,"

"Strange," Marlene mused.

"Not really – Lily's a teacher's pet," James pointed out.

"Oh yeah," the second girl laughed.

"I am not!" Lily cried, outraged.

"You kind of are," Marlene said somewhat kindly.

"I'm not a teacher's pet!" Lily moaned.

"One word: Slughorn," James goaded.

"Slughorn has loads of favourites!" Lily protested. "_You're_ even invited to the slug club,"

"Yeah, but I don't go!" James sniggered.

"You should," Lily told him.

"Are you asking me on a date?" James winked.

"No," Lily said too fast. "You have a girlfriend, stop being a prat. And you still haven't told me how you keep going all invisible!"

"I'm not going to," James revealed.

"You said you would!" Lily moaned.

"I lied," said James flatly.

"It was either a confundus charm, which I doubt because I probably would have noticed other weird things, a disillusionment charm, again unlikely because of how invisible you were – the lighting would have hit you oddly, or an invisibility cloak, which seems unlikely due to the rarity of the things, but it is apparently the most probable explanation," Lily deduced. "That and you and Sirius are always muttering about "the cloak" and how you don't fit under it,"

"What?" James asked, baffled.

"The science of deduction – I had a Sherlock Holmes phase when I was about 13 and went around trying to solve all the crimes of the common room," Lily explained.

"I remember that!" Marlene declared. "That was hilarious! We used to pretend someone had stolen all of our things and leave clues around,"

"You're all terrible friends," Lily informed Marlene. "Am I right, James?"

"Yes – the other day Mary tried to convince Peter to ask you out," James chuckled.

"What?" Lily gasped. "I didn't even… why didn't he?" Lily turned her priorities.

"Someone might've threatened him?" James suggested innocently. "And failing that someone might've got them a date with Amelia Bones to stop them considering such an act of treason?"

"Right, well, _someone_, I meant was I right about the invisibility cloak thing?" Lily inquired.

"Possibly," said James. "If you are or are not is beside the point – we have transfiguration next, and we're going to be late,"

Lily checked the clock on the fireplace and saw that James was right. They had only four minutes to cross the school to be on time for their lesson. Quickly jumping up and grabbing her bag, Lily made for the door followed by Marlene and a lethargic James. Heading down the staircase, Lily led the other two towards the classroom, but after a two minute sprint down the third floor corridor, James took lead and headed through another wall. The two girls jumped in after him, and then through a portrait of a crying boy, and they found themselves just around the corner from their lesson.

"Is this how you get around?" Lily panted.

"Why take the long road when you can take the short?" James replied with a mirthful grin.

They were just on time for their transfiguration lesson. McGonagall allowed them in without a word and they all took their seats – James beside Sirius at the back of the room, and Lily and Marlene three seats away. They were doing a theory lesson based on the previous class' work on larger object transfiguration. Though this was very dull, and mostly full of scratching notes from the board or copying paragraphs from their books, it gave Lily a chance to throw notes at Emmeline, Mary and Marlene.

I'm not going to be in Hogsmeade tomorrow due to detention for slapping Parkinson – LE  
What? Can they even give detentions on Hogsmeade visits? – MM  
Apparently so. Anyway, it'll just be you Marley and Adam – LE  
Oh great! Third wheel much? –MM  
Third wheel? There's nothing going on with me and Adam – MT  
Are you kidding? – MM  
Even I can see that you two flirt all day every day – EV  
I agree with the above statements – LE  
Ganging up against me much? – MT  
Sorry Marley – you're perfect for each other – LE  
And he is on the list… - EV  
Well, Mary if you're so worried about being a third wheel get your own date? – MT  
No – MM  
Why not? – MT  
I don't know anyone I could ask… - MM  
Lies! Amos Diggory has fancied you for ages – EV  
Yes, but it'd end up being a double date with him, Donna and Gilderoy – MM  
Fair – LE  
That sounds like actual hell - LE  
What about Potter? His date has to clean up owl shit all day – MT  
Potter is Lily's! – MM  
Why would you say that? – LE  
If Adam and I are perfect for each other, so are you and Potter –MT  
No. James is with Charlotte – LE  
Who you slapped today the second she implied James didn't like you – EV  
I slapped her because she was being a cow, and she deserved it! Not because I like Potter – LE  
But you do like Potter! – MM  
No I do not. I was actually considering asking Sirius to the next slug club – LE  
Lily, that doesn't count, it's Sirius – MM  
Oi! Enough of that! Sirius counts as a date – MT  
Not since we found out about his giant homoerotic love for James – EV  
I really hate that he told you guys – LE  
Ask someone proper to the next slug club – EV  
Who? – LE  
What about Ulysses? – MM  
I'm not asking your ex-boyfriend on a date – LE  
He really likes you though! –MM  
What? When did that happen? – EV  
He has for ages – MT  
Since the beginning of the year – MM  
We're prefects together – LE  
ROMANCE!- EV  
Shut up, Vance – LE  
You can't control me – EV  
When did he break up with what's-her-face? – LE  
On the second day of term, you were too busy with James problems - MT  
McGonagall looks mad – MM  
Then stop writing me notes! – LE  
**No, I'm going to give you two detentions in one day**! – MM  
I hate you ALL! – LE

Professor McGonagall proceeded to walk over to the girls' table and looked around for the note paper (cleverly hidden in Mary's cleavage). Unable to find anything she made a humph sound and pottered off, but the lesson was drawing to a close. When dismissed the four headed to the Great Hall with the hordes of other hungry students. Lily had cheered up quite dramatically since the morning's events, though she was dreading the detention the following day. Whispers followed her around like shadows asking her if she really slapped Charlotte. Most people didn't believe the rumours, which was somewhat of a relief for Lily, but it did mean that a lot of people came up to her and asked her about it. Emmeline thought it hilarious.

Potions and History of Magic passed without occasion, leaving Lily bored with Severus in the library that evening. It was near empty, due to the fact that it was a Hogsmeade weekend and everyone was too excited to care about trivial things such as their education. The silence between the pair of fifth years was thick with mutual discomfort.

"I can't believe you hit her," Severus snarled.

"Me neither," Lily admitted, "but it was kind of funny,"

"Really? Or was it completely reckless and stupid?" Severus snapped.

"Sev…" Lily started sadly.

"Was it because of Potter?" Severus asked quietly.

"No! Why does everyone assume that everything a teenage girl does is because of a boy? I did it because Tuney sent me a Freak letter again, my dad could be bloody well dying for all I know, and Charlotte pushed me over the edge! Her own actions may have been because of jealousy or something, but personally Potter doesn't dictate every single one of my actions!" Lily growled.

"Because of jealousy or something?" Severus cited. "You sound just like Mary,"

"Grow up, Sev, I'm allowed to be a teenager," Lily sighed, fed up of his fuss.

"Of course you are, Lily. I just thought we were above it," Severus said harshly.

"Why must you be above everyone, Sev? Why can't you just be happy with where you are?" Lily cried. "I'm going…"

"Why?" Severus asked.

"Because you're belittling me, and I've had enough of it," Lily told him confidently.

"I'm sorry Lil, don't go," Severus implored. "I'll stop,"

"Promise?" Lily demanded. He held out his hand and they hooked pinkie fingers, as they had done as children.

"_When we go to Hogwarts will we still be best friends forever, Sevvie?" Lily had asked of the young boy._

"_Of course, Lily! We'll be the best of friends!" Severus had promised. "We'll never fall out. We'll always be there for each other,"_

"_How long for?" begged Lily._

"_Always!" Severus proclaimed._

"_Swear it!" Lily had demanded of him, holding out her hand – little finger outstretched. "You shake it with yours, and it means that it will always be true!" Severus did as the young Lily told him, though he didn't feel any magic between the pinkie-swear._

They turned back to their school books. Lily had been writing the conclusion for her History of Magic essay for three minutes before Severus spoke again. This time his voice quavered and he couldn't make eye contact with her.

"I wish you could have been going tomorrow," he told her. "I was… going… to ask you to go with me,"

"Maybe next time, Sev," Lily smiled. "We'll go Christmas shopping, just like every year,"

"I didn't mean like… normal. I meant like… a… well, I suppose if you… just wanted to…"

"Spit it out, Snape," Lily laughed.

"Date. A date," he choked. Lily blushed and looked up to see the boy paler than normal. She reached her hand across the table and placed it over his. He looked up at her. Once upon a time Lily may have wished to hear those words from Severus Snape, her best friend. However, recent events – whisperings of his activities outside of the classroom, a murmured 'Mudblood' at the occasional first year- had changed her mind.

"Oh…" Lily stuttered. "That's… nice?"

"Nice?" Snape glared.

"Yes – but…"

"You fancy Potter," Severus accused at once.

"No! I'm… going on a date with Sirius," Lily lied quickly_. Bugger, now I have to convince Sirius to be my boyfriend_! She thought to herself. _Bugger, Bugger – The life of a Teenaged Ruffian is getting very buggered._

"Sirius Black? You're going out with Sirius Black?" Snape spelt out: anger visible in his cold black eyes.

"Yes…" Lily fibbed once more.

"Why didn't you mention it before?" Severus growled.

"It didn't seem important," said Lily.

"The fact that you're going out with Sirius Black wasn't important enough to mention, but the fact that Marlene and Adam McKinnon look cute together was?" Severus asked incredulously.

"It slipped my mind?" Lily suggested.

"You know what Lily? I'm going to finish my essay another day…" Severus told her as he aggressively shoved his books into his bag and swept away from her. Lily dropped her head to the desk. Sirius? She couldn't have said Ulysses, or a simple 'Sorry Severus, I just want to be friends with you, because honestly, you're kind of a death eater,'? What was wrong with her? Groaning she straightened up and decided to finish her essay – she only had a sentence or two left – how long could it take?

The answer was ten minutes. Ten minutes it took her to write two sentences. Each time a fairly intelligent thought entered her head it was swept away with the thought of Sirius being her boyfriend. It made her want to both laugh and cry. Sirius had a reputation as a womanizer and lady killer, despite the fact that he'd only ever had one girlfriend, which lasted a good while. Plus his feelings for James – the whole situation was laughable. That was of course, until she was ready to pack away her finally completed essay, when she heard footsteps storming towards her.

"Evans, do you mind explaining to me why my brother just came up to me and told me to break up with my mudblood girlfriend?" Sirius demanded, taking the seat that Severus had previously occupied.

"I… er… maybe someone confunded him?" Lily suggested meekly. One look from Sirius was enough to make her spill. "Severus asked me out on a date, and I didn't want to go on a date with him, and I found myself telling him that… you and I are going on a date," she was blushing a ridiculous shade of red.

"Oh, okay – I figured it'd be something like that," Sirius laughed.

"You're not going to tell him are you?" Lily groaned.

"Of course not! I have to treat my fake girlfriend with an ounce of respect, otherwise what kind of fake boyfriend would I be?" Sirius hypothesized.

"So you're not going to fake-break up with me?" Lily questioned with a smile.

"Nope – if it annoys Regulus it's good enough for me. Are you sure you're up for a fake-lationship though, Lily?"

"You mean you actually want to be in a fake-lationship with me?" Lily blurted inquisitively.

"I can't think of a better fake girlfriend," Sirius smiled. "Honestly though, I've been thinking about it and it's pure brilliance. I don't know why I didn't think about it before,"

"What?" Lily asked.

"Well, everyone thinks I'm as gay as Dumbledore on Christmas morning, and that's kind of annoying, because I am not – plus I really want to piss my family off. Your problems are that Charlotte thinks you're in love with James, Severus keeps asking you out and from what I've heard there are a couple of people around who wouldn't mind sneaking you a love potion, if you know what I mean?" Sirius suggestively raised his eyebrows. "A fake-lationship is called for!" Lily considered him. It did kind of answer the majority of their problems.

"Two conditions!" Lily concluded finally. "We'll tell Marlene and Emmeline the truth,"

"Not Mary and Donna?" Sirius inquired.

"They're gossips," Lily explained.

"What about James? He'll shit a brick and maybe beat me up if he doesn't know the truth," Sirius added.

"Fine, him too," Lily agreed.

"And the second condition?" Sirius asked with a grin, excited by their ruse.

"No public displays of affection," Lily told him. This didn't settle well.

"Hell no! I am not agreeing to that. People won't believe in our fake-lationship if there's not PDA," Sirius pointed out.

"Fine, hand holding and cheek kisses," Lily bargained.

"Lip kisses, no tongues – my last offer," Sirius haggled.

"No deal," Lily said.

"Then go and explain to Severus why we're not going on a beautiful date, and gracing the world with our lovely children," Sirius laughed. Lily glared at him. "Our children would be odder than yours and James',"

"Fine!" Lily groaned. "How long is this relationship to last?"

"As long as necessary for both of us to deem it pointless," Sirius concluded.

"Deal," Lily said, taking Sirius' hand and shaking on it.

"Kiss on it?" Sirius jested. Lily whacked him on the arm.

Lily and Sirius walked with each other (though not hand in hand) to the common room, where they worked out the details of their subterfuge.

**The Details of Lily Evans and Sirius Black's Fake-lationship:**

They got together because Sirius brought Lily a croissant when she was hungry in the library. It was at that point he decided she was beautiful and wondrous.

He asked to her Hogsmeade on that day, but because she had a detention she was unable to attend their date.

Their first kiss was on the Quidditch pitch, after Lily had been stalking him to see how sexy and fantastic he was as a beater.

Their first born will be called Reggie.

Upon arriving in the common room there was an uproar. Alice Griffiths ran towards the pair screeching something about them being adorable and in love. Lily shot a confused look to Sirius but he just smiled and put his arm around her. He had a handsome smile, she considered, something to like about her fake boyfriend.

"We need to find Marlene, James and Emmeline ASAP!" Lily hissed through the side of her mouth, as another bundle of people congratulated them on their love. Apparently everyone could see it coming. Sirius nodded and lent down to her. The crowd awed and cat called. Instead of kissing her he spoke into her ear.

"You go to your dorm, I'll go to mine! I'll meet you with them in the charms classroom where Peeves threw a table at Goyle?" Lily smiled and nodded in agreement. She turned to run to her dorm, but realised her situation and kissed Sirius on the cheek. He smiled at her.

As she ran up the stairs, she wondered how she'd coax Emmeline and Marlene out without Mary and Donna, but was saved the fuss when she noticed the latter two's absence. Emmeline was talking to Marlene about an article she had read in the newest edition of Witch Weekly. Lily smiled when she saw them.

"You two follow me; don't talk to anyone on the way out! Important things to discuss!" Lily commanded.

"What?" Emmeline asked incredulously.

"I have big news to tell you, and you two alone – but we're going to do it all together!" Lily explained.

"What?" Marlene questioned.

"Just follow me and I'll tell you!" Lily demanded and ran back down the stairs.

"She's a loon," Marlene laughed.

"Agreed," Emmeline chuckled, following Lily down the stairwell.

There was a lot of conversation around the common room, and Lily hoped that neither of her friends would hear about the fake-lationship from random mutterings. Marlene and Em were however engrossed in a conversation regarded Lily's sanity, which she figured was a good enough distraction for anyone.

Lily led them both to the empty classroom where Sirius and a very confused looking James was sat staring at the three girls. For some reason Lily felt as though she'd done something wrong, so she shuffled over to Sirius for comfort. What good is a fake boyfriend if he can't make you happy? James obviously spotted something in their faces, as there was true worry in his eyes.

"Padfoot, what's wrong?" he asked seriously.

"Lily and I have something to tell you all. Take a seat you two," Sirius told Em and Marley. "We've discussed things, and we've decided that things would be easier for the both of us if we were in a… relationship," James stood up.

"What?" he demanded.

"A fake-lationship," Lily clarified. "Not a real relationship, just a… get out of jail free card,"

"What?" James asked, confused rather than enraged.

"…Monopoly? Please tell me there's a wizard-monopoly?" Lily asked. No response. "Our relationship is an excuse…"

"For me not to be a fag, and Lily to stop being harassed by your girlfriend and other suitors,"

"Other suitors?" James and Emmeline questioned in chorus.

"Severus asked me on a date, and I told him I couldn't go because I was going out with Sirius – then Sev told Regulus and Regulus threatened to beat Sirius up, which apparently he finds amusing, so yeah – fake-lationship," Lily explained.

"Right… so are you two going to… kiss?" James puzzled sadly.

"Only when strictly necessary," Sirius confirmed. "No tongues,"

"Why are you telling us?" Marlene asked.

"James would hit the fan if he thought I was actually in a relationship with Lily. I don't think our friendship could handle it," James made a sound as to complain but Sirius just shot him a look that said 'It's true, deal with it,' and he settled down. "Lily insisted on telling you two, probably because of 1. Our history Marley, and 2. You're her best friends,"

"Plus you can help me convince Mary and Donna," Lily added. "If you two were questioning it no one would believe it," Lily told them.

"I do have one question?" Marlene asked.

"Go ahead," Lily smiled.

"If you two are in a fake relationship, then why are you acting like you're in a real one?" Lily felt herself blush. Honestly, neither she nor Sirius thought about the other in a romantic way, but… he was her boyfriend, no matter how fake and it made her need to be close to him. Luckily Sirius saved her from having to explain all that because he said simply:

"Getting into the habit,"

"Right," Marlene said. It was apparently a good enough explanation, as she let it drop quickly. James however didn't seem convinced.

"No one will believe it," he insisted.

"Everyone in the common room seemed to," Sirius retorted.

"Anyone with sense won't believe it. You two…"

"Are doing each other a favour – Prongs…"

"Talk to me outside?" James asked, quite calmly. Sirius furrowed his brow but nodded. James led the way, and Sirius followed suit, not looking at any of the girls in the room.

The door shut behind them.

"You're okay with this, right Marley?" Lily asked quickly. "If you're not I'll fake-dump him at once!"

"No, Lil, it's fine. You're doing one another a favour," she smiled sincerely. "And… I think you're right about Adam," Lily squeaked.

"Tell me everything!" Lily demanded.

"Well, we were sat together earlier just talking like we normally do, and I told him that you couldn't come and that Mary was going to be avoiding us and he seemed really glad that we'd be alone!" Marlene grinned.

"Oh Marr, that's brilliant!" Emmeline joined in. "Look at us all with boyfriends… kind of,"

"That reminds me! No telling Mary or Donna, or Charlotte. No telling anyone!" Lily made them vow upon their house points that they would keep silent about the false nature of her new founded relationship.

"You think Potter will be okay?" Lily fretted.

"Well I can't hear any shouting, so they've either beaten themselves to death or they're talking things out. He _is_ in love with you Lil; you can't expect him to be fine with it," Emmeline reasoned.

"If he was so in love with me as he claims he wouldn't be going out with my worst enemy," Lily disagreed.

"You're so extreme – who has enemies?" laughed Emmeline.

"Anyway! You have feelings for him and you're in a false relationship with his best friend," Marlene chided in.

"I don't…" she muttered at once.

"Don't deny it – this whole thing with Sirius isn't about Snape or Parkinson or Sirius' reputation. Neither of you care about any of those things," Emmeline snapped. "This is about the pair of you having lost James, so you are replacing him with the closest thing possible," Lily stopped – she hadn't thought about it like that. She was however, spared having to give a reaction as James and Sirius came through the door, neither of them bearing signs of a beating.

"James has a few questions for you, Lily," Sirius informed her glumly. That could only be bad.

"Right, go on then,"

"Outside,"

"Oh the theatrics – you don't need us here, so we'll just go and finish our magazine," Emmeline proclaimed and waved goodbye to Lily as she dragged Marlene out of the door. The three of them were alone.

"Why can't you be in a fake relationship with someone else?" James asked. He wasn't looking at her, his eyes were unfocused on the wall behind her.

"Because Sirius needs this just as much as me, and it makes sense!" Lily answered.

"Well, why doesn't Sirius be in a fake relationship with Marlene and you be in a fake relationship with… me?" James asked.

"No," Lily rejected instantly.

"Why not?" James implored.

"Your girlfriend's hate for me is one of the reasons we're in this mess. You can't just dump her and pick her up whenever you think I want to be in a relationship," Lily shouted at him. He dropped his head.

"Do you like Sirius?" James ignored her reply.

"He's one of my closest friends, of course I… you mean romantically, don't you?" he nodded. "No. Sirius is out of bounds for everyone. Girls generally only like what they can get,"

"Funny, guys appear to be the opposite," James laughed sourly. "I have a condition, to agreeing to this,"

"Which is?" Lily asked.

"Sirius has already agreed to his condition," James informed her. "I… want you agree to go on a date with me,"

"What about Char…" Lily started, but he interrupted her.

"When Charlotte and I aren't together (don't worry, I won't break up with her because of you), you agree to go on a date with me?" James was deathly serious – his usual mischievous glow faded.

"Why?" Lily questioned.

"Because I want you to give me a chance," James quavered.

"Right… okay. I guess I agree," Lily promised.

"Really?" James asked, looking genuinely shocked by her agreement.

"If you will agree to our fake-true love, then sure. Why not?" Lily smiled, and the life rushed back into James' face.

"Awesome… wow… I guess I should… go!" he jumped up, clapping his hands.

"We'll come with you," Lily suggested.

"No, follow after me – maybe go down to the kitchens and get me a Danish? Do that! It'll be your first date," he suggested happily, patting Sirius on the back.

"Why can't we just come with you?" questioned Lily.

"If we all go in together everyone will assume we've been having a manage toi," the two boys laughed out loud. "Go, get me a Danish!" James commanded and then with a flourish of wrists which looked an awful lot like practised jazz hands, James was gone from the room.

"What was the condition you agreed to?" Lily asked Sirius when they were alone.

"I have to try and convince you that he's not all bad, and I'm not allowed to fall in love with you," Sirius told her.

"Right, cool," Lily replied with a grin. "Danish?"

"And by that of course you mean you want to get a croissant but you'll look like a good citizen if you grab Prongs a Danish in the meantime?"

"Oh sweetie! You know me so well!" Lily feigned. "Croissant!" she commanded and made Sirius led her through the secret passages to get to the kitchens.

Lily woke the next day feeling rotten. She shouldn't have had that fourth croissant at midnight last night. Her, Sirius and James had been in the common room until the early hours of the morning playing exploding snap, and Sirius had provided a lot of goodies (mainly Croissants and chocolate frogs, but there were also liquorish wands and gummy frogs). She had to admit that spending time with the two marauders wasn't as terrible as it could have been. In fact she'd rather enjoyed it. That was up until she became with child with a food-baby whose head was a big fat croissant.

Nevertheless – she had larger regrets in life.

She rolled over to see Emmeline fussing over her hair in the mirror next to Lily's bed. It was all wavy and wild, and she seemed to be trying to tame it. She was wearing the pre-planned outfit that they'd been discussing for a week – red dress, black tights, black jacket, and tiny red shoes. Even Donna would admit that Emmeline looked lovely as she tried to apply makeup with a shaking hand.

"You don't need make up, silly!" Lily groaned as she sat up. "You look fabby,"

"Flabby?" Emmeline shrieked, and turned to the side in the mirror.

"I said fabby – as in fabulous!" Lily chucked.

"Oh… sorry… nerves," Emmeline explained. "I haven't actually been on a date… ever,"

"I know – it's okay – calm down, it's only Remus," Lily said pulling her friend to sit on the bed and breathe. "Where is everyone else?"

"All gone down to breakfast already – Lockheart and Adam are meeting them in the court yard- Remus is waiting for me in the common room, nowish,"

"Then go!" Lily enforced! "Go get him tiger!"

"I'm scared," Emmeline complained. "I can't stop shaking,"

"Of course you can't – do you know why?" Lily asked. Emmeline shook her head. "because you two are perfect for each other," Emmeline smiled.

"You think so?"

"There's a nervous boy downstairs who knows so," Lily said kindly.

"Right – yes! Okay, thank you Lil!" Emmeline proclaimed and kissed Lily on the top of the head. "Have a lovely detention,"

"Have a brilliant day!" Lily called as her friend skipped out the door.

It was almost nine. Lily stretched and pulled herself out of bed, throwing herself into a pair of jeans and a green jumper she'd brought in Camden last year. Throwing her hair into a messy ponytail and her feet into a comfy pair of black boots, Lily went down to the common room, expecting the majority of older students to be long gone. However, on the sofa she saw the messy back-of-the-head of Sirius Black.

"Hey cutie," he greeted her with a teasing grin when he saw her. She glared at him.

"What're you doing here?" Lily quizzed him. "Shouldn't you be down in Hogsmeade?"

"James and I are going to head in later, since we have no dates," Sirius explained. "Mine is stuck in detention with Devarius all afternoon," Sirius laughed.

"Oh, make me feel better about my first ever detention, why don't you?" cried Lily.

"This is your first detention?" Sirius exclaimed. "How is this your first detention,"

"Unlike you I am a model student… or at least I was until I became a ruffian," Lily smiled. "Where's James?"

"At breakfast with his own girlfriend," Sirius chuckled. "You're my girlfriend,"

"That sounds really weird," Lily scoffed. "Have you eaten?"

"Yes – but I could eat again," Sirius informed her. "Breakfast?"

"Yes please," agreed Lily, letting Sirius take her by the hand and lead her down to the great hall. She avoided looking at the Slytherin table (or anywhere that wasn't Marlene and Adam's heads) as people had taken to staring at the new couple. Lily was blushing.

Despite her existence of the food baby, Lily decided it was only fair to give Reggie (Sirius insisted) a brother (Harry, as named by James who showed up ten minutes after they had) by eating another batch of croissants. Marlene and Adam grinned and laughed at each other's jokes and went off for their not-date ("Honestly, Lil – It's not a date!"). Remus and Emmeline were apparently grabbing breakfast in Hogsmeade and weren't present, and Mary had gone in already with Amos Diggory. Donna was over on the Ravenclaw table with Gilderoy Lockheart, who was apparently telling a hilarious anecdote to all who would listen. According to James, Charlotte refused to come down to breakfast with the shame of being unable to attend Hogsmeade. So eventually it was just Lily, Sirius and James.

"What time is your detention?" Sirius asked Lily between mouthfuls of oatmeal.

"12," replied Lily morosely. "In Devarius' office,"

"I wonder what you'll be doing," James mused. "Probably helping her brush her hair,"

"When're you guys headed in?" Lily questioned.

"We'll walk you to your first detention and then we'll head in," Sirius smiled. He really was quite a good fake boyfriend, Lily considered.

"You never walked Marlene to any of her detentions," Lily observed.

"I was 13 when I started going out with Marley – hardly good boyfriend material," Sirius reassured. "Now I am perfect,"

"Don't make me laugh Padfoot," James teased. "I give your fake-lationship a week,"

"How dare you slander our feelings?" Lily recoiled with a giggle. "I'll have you know what Sirius and I are very besotted with one another,"

"What's his favourite colour?" James questioned. Lily thought it through for a second and laughed.

"Fair point, mate," she snickered.

"It's maroon, just for future reference," Sirius informed her. "Yours is emerald,"

"How did you know?" Lily inquired, shocked that he knew.

"I've been mates with Prongs for 5 years, Lil. You like emerald because it reminds you of the park in which you were told you were a witch," he sighed.

"And you look amazing in it," James added. Lily turned a bright red when she noticed she was wearing her emerald jumper and muttered her thanks.

James said he fancied having a quick fly around, and Sirius agreed. They managed to drag Lily along with them under the pretence that she'd finished all of her homework and actually had nothing else to do. She agreed to come along on the condition that her feet didn't leave the ground. For half an hour the boys flew around the Quidditch stadium, doing dangerous drops that made Lily squirm as they neared the floor. Eventually they stopped doing that and landed on the seats next to Lily.

"Enjoying the show, Evans?" asked Potter.

"You're both really good," Lily divulged. "Scarily so,"

"Which is why, as soon as we get a good seeker, we'll win the cup!" James proclaimed.

"I thought Lehman was the seeker?" Lily puzzled, sure that the seeker was the person who caught the snitch.

"He was, but that was with Weasley and Wood as captain. I'm the king now. Plus Lehman left last year, and so we have to find some fresh blood," James explained.

"And now we're going to give you a flying lesson!" Sirius shouted.

"No! You heard my condition!" Lily shrieked, "My feet stay on the ground!"

"Tough luck, Evans, get on the broom," Potter demanded. Lily glared at him. "Who do you want to fly with? I am the better flier, obviously, but Sirius is your boyfriend, so he's less likely to get you killed,"

"Very reassuring," Lily spat. "Sirius get your arse over here right now," Sirius shuffled over to where Lily was stood awkwardly.

"Front or back, miss?" Sirius offered, holding out his nimbus 1500.

"Front will be easier," James instructed. Unwillingly, Lily grabbed the broom and slid onto it, with Sirius sat behind her. "Kick off slowly," Sirius obliged. Lily felt her feet leave the ground and terror ripped through her. Sirius pushed the broom up, and around – suddenly they had left the stands and there was nothing below her up a hundred foot drop. It reminded her of how James had taken her flying.

It was actually not unpleasant – flying with Sirius. He controlled the broom steadily and didn't go too fast or do all of those dangerous drops that they had been showing off earlier. She could actually understand why someone might even enjoy this flying business, as long as they didn't look down. Slowly circling the stands Sirius whispered in her ear:

"It's fantastic, isn't it?" his breath was hot on her ear. She nodded, unsure if he'd be able to hear her with all the wind gushing about. "Fancy trying it on your own?" Lily went to vigorously shake her head, but it was too late. Despite the fact that they were so high in the air it made Lily dizzy, Sirius stood on the broom and dived off of it.

"WHAT ARE YOU AHHHHHHH?" Lily screamed as she looked down and saw Sirius hurtling without breaking to the floor. She tried to move the broom to save him, but somehow it was reversing backwards and she was left screaming watching as Sirius fell to his death. Ten foot above the ground a blur of red jumper smashed into Sirius' flailing limbs. Lily span her head and saw James Potter sat smugly on his broom opposite her, with one Sirius Black behind him, safe and sound. "YOU ARE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL MANIAC!"

"IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES!" Sirius laughed. "C'MON, GET MOVING," and James span the broom one more to soar off across the pitch.

Lily tried not to scream or have a panic attack. She was up rather high. Inhaling two lungful's of oxygen she cooled herself down and tried to work out how to move the stick that was holding her in the sky. Her fingers gripped the wood tightly and she lent forwards, pressing herself to the broom like she'd seen the Quidditch players do often. Suddenly she sped forwards, rivalling Potter's own speed. The wind thrashed through her ponytail, but it felt wonderful. With a twitch of her legs and hands the broom changed directions and she chased Potter and Sirius around the goal posts. They were applauding her. They passed time like that for a while, until Lily realised it was probably time to head up to Devarius' office. Descending as flawlessly as possible (she did stumble a little, but it was a good try) Lily met James and Sirius on the ground.

"That was fantastic, Lil! You don't fancy trying out for seeker, do you?" James suggested desperately.

"No thanks," Lily shook him off, "I think I'd crash into the rest of the players,"

"I'm being serious, Evans, you could do it. It's something every witch or wizard has to do at least once!" James begged. Lily wondered if he was actually being sincere in his request, or if he was just being polite.

"I have a detention to get to," Lily mumbled.

James and Sirius spent the entire walk up to the third floor classroom attempting to convince Lily to attend at least one Quidditch practise to which she rejected vehemently. Finally they reached room 301 and knocked on the door.

"Have fun!" James waved her off.

"Want anything from Hogsmeade?" Sirius asked with a grin. Lily shook her head.

"Have a good afternoon!" she called to them as they skipped down the corridor. They went to turn left which Lily thought odd, as the entrance hall was to the right. Probably another marauder shortcut.

Devarius answered the door just as the boys had left and greeted Lily with a half-faced smile. She greeted Lily and allowed her entrance into the class room. There was a crate in the middle of the room, and a bunch of cages beside it. All of the desks were stacked at the side of the classroom and no chairs were in sight. Lily felt a wash of confusion fall over her – what was this detention going to be? Were all detentions like this? Then she thought of Charlotte cleaning owl poo up with Filch and couldn't help but smile.

"How're you today, Lily?" Professor Devarius asked, sat on the edge of the stacked desks.

"Good thanks," Lily replied politely.

"You look a little windswept?" the teacher pointed out. Lily immediately attempted to flatten her hair, but to little avail. She almost felt some form of sympathy for James and his mess of a hairdo.

"I just went flying with some friends," explained Lily. Devarius smiled.

"Oh to be young," she laughed. "So Lily, I hope you are aware that your actions were totally reckless?"

"Yes Madam," Lily replied curtly.

"And I really should be making you clean up faeces with Miss Parkinson?" Lily nodded in reply. "However, I have decided against that. I'm sure you'll keep this to yourself, but I am of the opinion that Miss Parkinson needed someone to put her in her place,"

"Yes Madam," Lily couldn't help but grin.

"And as you are one of the very few students who show any practical skill with Defence Against the Dark Arts, I have decided to come up with a better time to spend your detention time,"

"Does this have something to do with those crates?" Lily asked, gesturing to the middle of the room.

"Yes, it does," Devarius smiled. "Professor McGonagall informed me of the incident at the beginning of the year. Taking on five Slytherin's practically single handed? It was risky but quite brilliant – quite the talk of the staff room,"

"Thank you Madam," Lily blushed.

"I want to – if it is acceptable with you – do some more advanced defensive magic?" Devarius suggested. Lily was shocked – she slaps Charlotte and gets to skip out on detention by learning magic that they mightn't be taught for a good two years.

"Of course! That sounds fantastic," Lily cheered, excited to see what she'd be able to do.

"Well, we had better get started then," Madam Devarius smiled and swept behind her desk. "Are you aware of the Patronus charm?"

"Oh, yes – I have attempted it on the occasion, but to very little avail," Lily informed the professor miserably.

"Let me assume it was little more than smoke?" Devarius correctly guessed. Lily nodded to tell her so. "That, Lily, is an incorporeal patronus. It would do the job to protect from one or two dementors, though not well enough to fight many. Shall we attempt a tangible patronus?"

"Please," Lily piped up.

"I think your problem must be the memory you are using to create the patronus. What was it?" the teacher inquired.

"It was the first time I came to Hogwarts," Lily admitted shyly. "But I think I have a good idea of a memory,"

"Right then, Expecto Patronum," Devarius instructed. Lily cleared her head and remembered back to the first evening of term – how she had flown over the castle roof whilst screaming into an ear hidden by messy black hair. How they had talked and laughed and almost kissed.

"Expecto Patronum," Lily whispered, caught in the memory with her eyes locked closed. When she opened them she saw a figure dancing around the room. At first she assumed it to be a small horse, but when it turned to face her she saw it for what it really was.

It was a doe.

Lily gasped, and the doe ran around once more and then flew into the wall, as she had seen James' stag doing a year earlier. Madam Devarius clapped and when Lily looked over to the woman she had a grin on her face. "That was a lot easier than excepted – you should be proud of yourself, Lily. It is not often someone of your age could produce a corporeal patronus,"

"James Potter can," Lily divulged, though she didn't know why.

"Oh really?" Devarius asked, genuinely interested.

"Yes, I've seen it. He was able to do it last year," Lily continued, finding herself remarkably proud of James.

"What is his animal?" the professor asked.

"Oh, err… a stag I think…" Lily felt herself going red – she hoped that Devarius wouldn't put two and two together.

"Very nice," Professor Devarius congratulated. "Onto other matters then?" Lily nodded, her mind still on the doe.

"Now, Gorgons are so rare in the world, especially outside of the Greek islands, there is almost no chance you're going to need to fight them. However, this spell can work as a good defence against a human enemy. Do you know what the Gorgon's best weapon is?"

"Her gaze can turn you to stone," Lily answered.

"Precisely. Therefore in the case of a gorgon, and possibly a basilisk (though the likelihood of meeting a basilisk around this part of the world, if at all, is near impossible), the first point of defence would be their sight. The incantation is obtenebrans, though you will want to close your eyes whilst performing the curse. It will blind your attacker until the counter curse is performed. Of course, in the case of dark creatures, they are unaware of the counter enchantment and so they will stay blinded. A death eater may know the charm to relieve their sight, but it will give you a few minutes,"

"Right, obtenebrans," Lily muttered, adding it to her memory.

"Try it on me," Lily was instructed. Taking a firm grip of her wand she slashed it around and spoke the charm aloud. Instantly there was a blinding flash of white light and Lily sealed her eyes closed. When she opened her eyes she could see Professor Devarius stood wildly gaping for her wand. Lily ran forwards and put the stick in her teacher's hand. "Thank you. Vident Risem," the professor muttered, her wand aimed at herself, and suddenly she could see again. "Very well done, Lily,"

The rest of the afternoon was spent with Madam Devarius explaining the usage of a spell or charm and having Lily try it out either on herself, or the assortment of dark creatures she kept in the crates. Lily faced a bogart, a ghoul, a baby dragon, kelpies, a handful of Ashwinders raising from the middle of a fire, a fairy and a porlock. The sky outside darkened, and hordes of students returned from the village and Lily defeated each beast over and over. It was tiring business, and when the hour hit six she could barely go on.

"Well, Lily – you've done amazingly! I'm surprised that we managed to get through it all. You are a very bright witch," Madam Devarius complimented her. "Have some chocolate, it'll make you feel better," she offered out a bar of Honeydukes' finest. Lily took it gratefully.

"Thank you Professor," Lily smiled.

"If you would like we could make this a regular occurrence?" Devarius offered. Lily jumped at the chance.

"That'd be brilliant! If you think I'm up to it, of course," Lily replied quickly. Though it was exhausting, Lily knew that it was all worth it. Today she'd learnt about twenty new spells. That kind of thing was worth her time.

"I wouldn't have offered it if I didn't think you were able. Would you like to make this a fortnightly meeting?" the professor offered with a smile, munching on a chocolate bar of her own.

"Yes, that sounds good,"

"Then I shall owl you with the times of our next meeting," Professor Devarius smiled and flumped into her seat behind the desk.

"Professor?" Lily asked, stepping forwards towards the woman.

"Yes, Lily?" she asked kindly – her eyes closed as she lay back in the seat.

"May I ask why you wear your hair in such a manner?" Lily pressed anxiously. Devarius opened her eyes and sat forwards, considering the girl.

"I used to teach in Beauxbattons," she started. "In my youth I was quite the petite rose. Not unlike yourself, Lily. And I was also rather talented with my skills. I made some enemies. One summer I was out with my husband and my son, and we were attacked. My boy was four years old. There were seven of them – they killed Remi quickly, a grace I am thankful of to this day. My husband, they did not bestow the same favours. We were both tortured for acts against the Dark Lord. The juice of mandrake roots did this to me," her professor explained, as for the first time she swept the wash of hair from its normal place over her face. What Lily saw was torture – half a once obviously beautiful face melted away with acid – only the eye, blue and blinking from the sudden light, was as it should have been. The side of the lip melted into to cheek, the skin scarred and disfigured.

"I'm so sorry!" Lily gasped. "That's… horrific,"

"It was the worst week I have survived through. My husband, Daniel, attempted to save us both. He took four cruciatus curses and still fought his way for his wand. Our attackers didn't know how he did it – how he kept moving. Eventually they resorted to the final curse. I survived only because of his bravery," there were glistening tears in the eyes of the older woman.

"You escaped?" Lily asked, swallowing her own tears.

"I did – there were others in the same position as me. I would hear their screams from my own 'cell'. The person in charge of finding information from us; Rosier, was killed on my eighth night there. They say it was just a boy who killed him," Devarius informed, though her eyes had misted over and Lily wasn't sure that she was aware that she was still there. Lily thought about it – Rosier – a boy. James. Her mind jumped to the stag boy who had skipped down the corridor earlier. How many lives had he saved that day?

"Your husband was a very brave man," Lily remarked sadly.

"The war still fights on. He died for nothing, it seems," Devarius sighed.

"That isn't true at all – he died to protect you, and to ensure your safety. Is there a greater reason to die at all?" Lily Evans stressed. "Someone once told me that the last enemy to be defeated is death,"

"Were they of the Family Peverell?" Devarius asked, looking up to Lily for the first time since the beginning of the story. "It sounds like the third brother in the story of the Deathly Hallows,"

"I don't know," Lily admitted. James Potter could come from anywhere. All she knew was that he was half French – might he have known Daniel Devarius? Might he have played with Remi Devarius? "Madam, if it is any kind of… consolation, I believe that you are still a rose. The scars are merely reminders of your hardships,"

"Thank you, Lily," Professor Devarius gave a meek smile. "Good night,"

Lily was walking down the corridor towards the Great Hall when she spotted Professor Dumbledore slowly walking towards her, gazing at each portrait with a smile as he passed them by. Lily didn't know if she should say hello or just walk on by, so she awkwardly made a "hullo" sounding word and smiled at the man as he surveyed her over those half-moon glasses.

"Ah, Miss Evans! I see you've had a beneficial detention?" Dumbledore smiled. Lily wondered if Professor Devarius had told Professor Dumbledore about her plans for Lily's "detention" or if he'd merely guessed, because he's Albus Freakin' Dumbledore and he's a genius.

"Yes sir, I learnt my lessons," Lily grinned. Dumbledore seemed pleased at this.

"Very good. I saw your flying lesson with Messrs Potter and Black this morning. Very good," Dumbledore muttered happily. "I suppose Mr Potter has attempted to recruit you as seeker?"

"How did you know?" Lily inquired.

"He came to my office two days ago demanding to try-out the first years to see if there are any good enough fliers. He seems to think all hope is lost," Dumbledore laughed. "You should do it,"

"Quidditch isn't really my thing," Lily excused herself.

"With that I can empathise. Though I did play keeper myself twice," Dumbledore chuckled. "It's something every student should do at least once,"

"What happened, sir?" Lily asked.

"Oh, I couldn't keep my eyes on the bludgers – too many balls, that game. I fell off my broom and onto my broken broomstick. I have a rather brilliant scar just above my knee from that game," Dumbledore hummed nostalgically. "You should head down to the great hall – Mr Black is rather missing your presence, I think," Dumbledore winked and continued his slow journey down the corridor. "Oh, and Lily?"

"Yes sir?" Lily said, turning to see Dumbledore looking at her.

"Congratulations on the patronus,"

"Thank you sir," Lily laughed and skipped down to the Great Hall.

James and Sirius hadn't been out of the corridor beneath Honeydukes for ten minutes when they saw Peter Pettigrew and Amelia Bones stood in the doorway of Madam Puddifoot's laughing at some sort of joke one of them must have told. The pair walked up to the couple and had a short conversation, wishing them the happiest of dates. Sirius wanted to get to Zonkos before they went for their normal drink in the three broomsticks. The marauders filled their pockets with an assortment of things that Remus would probably confiscate later on that evening, paid and then ran through the thick rain into the packed Three Broomsticks. They took seats with Adam McKinnon, Marlene and Mary.

"I thought you were going off with some other people, Mary?" Sirius asked, sipping the butterbeer that James had fetched them from the bar.

"They were boring," Mary laughed. "No girlfriend?"

"She's in detention," Sirius informed her. "I wonder what she's up to,"

"Probably writing lines: I Shall not hit slags, I shall not hit slags!" Marlene joked.

"Oi! That's my slag you're talking about," James voiced.

"Potter, I'm pretty sure the whole point of sticking up for a girl is to not call her a slag," Adam pitched in.

"I can't deny the truth, McKinnon. And what do you know? You haven't had a girlfriend since Bonnie Adams," James laughed.

"You went out with Bonnie Adams?" Mary demanded. "Why didn't I know about this?"

"Because she was going out with Steve Levine at the time," Sirius teased.

"Awww, Adam, were you the mistress?" Marlene chided. "Poor bubba,"

"Hey! The snogging was worth it!" Adam reasoned.

"What a slag," Mary laughed.

"I can't believe you and Evans, Black," Adam said. "How'd that happen?"

"My manly charms, obviously," Sirius joked. "She just couldn't resist,"

"Oh I'm sure – you must be a very good snog, Black," Adam decided.

"Oh he is," Marlene said in chorus with Sirius saying "Oh I am," the group burst into laughter – that was everyone but James.

The banter continued when Emmeline and Remus joined their group, holding hands and kissing. Mary could hardly contain her happiness for the both of them. Even James thought that it was a nice thing to see- his friend happy and finally with the girl he'd obsessed over for so long. With that thought he couldn't help but feel jealous for his friends – Peter seemed to be getting on well with Amelia, and Sirius had Lily, even if that was total fakery. Of course, he _did_ have Charlotte, but all she seemed to do was complain about him or to him about other people and it was becoming very tiresome. Of course, she wouldn't be any happier this evening, and she probably wouldn't smell great either.

"Padfoot! Let's finish our shopping," James suggested interrupting Adam's anecdote about a leprechaun, his Uncle Eddie and a Quaffle. Sirius looked confused by the random request but downed the rest of his butterbeer and stood up.

"Okay!" he called, and followed James from the bar. "What shopping?" he asked when they were out the door.

"I figured that Lily's not going to go out with me if I'm a rotten boyfriend, right?" James asked.

"Stop trying to steal my woman," Sirius sassed.

"Shut up. And anyway, I'm kind of stuck with Lottie for a while, right? So why not be a fairly decent chap and try being nice to her – then she might stop complaining that I'm a prick," James reasoned.

"That seems like woman-logic, yes," Sirius agreed.

"So, because my girlfriend is going to be miserable and annoying this evening and smelling like poo, I was going to buy her some chocolate or something?" James wondered if chocolate was good. Sirius nodded.

"Chocolate's good – what about bath soaps as well? The ones that change the colour of the water," Sirius suggested.

"I knew I kept you around for a reason!" James exclaimed. With a clap he wondered out loud. "Where do they sell bath soaps in Hogsmeade?"

"Probably Mama Moon's Magical Makeup store," Sirius recommended.

"Eurgh, I hate that place," James shivered. "Let's make it quick,"

Mama Moon's was opposite Madam Puddifoot's and was full of Hogwarts third year girls going through the stacked pink shelves looking for things to make them look prettier. Sirius and James felt very out of place. As they shuffled past a pair of fourth years looking at some love potion, they reached the perfume and bath oil section. James picked a strawberry smelling bath bomb which apparently would remove any smell and any ache. Taking a leaf from his friends book Sirius purchased a small bag of lily petals which were apparently enchanted to keep the bath water hot for hours on end. They smelt nice too.

They paid and then headed to Honeydukes where James told Sirius to get Lily some fudge, whereas he bought Charlotte a thick bar of choco-loco chocolate. Unsure which flavour was her favourite, Sirius got Lily a bit of all fifteen fudge flavours, and stuffed the bag into the other bag. Eventually they were both done and decided to head the normal way back to the castle, where they met their friends from the bar. Emmeline was complaining about foot pain and Marlene was making Adam give her a piggyback over the muddy road, but they were all just thankful that the torrential rain had stopped long enough for them to grab two carriages back to the castle.

As half of them had been moaning about starvation they dragged themselves soggily (it had started raining again between the carriage ride and the walk into the castle) to the Great Hall. James spotted Charlotte and dragged everyone over to her. As he had guessed she was feeling miserable, as was only too happy to complain about Filch, owls, and poop to her hearts content. James had grown bored of this after about ten minutes, and so removed the bag with his gifts for her and plonked them on the table. Her face lit up.

"Oh James!" she squealed. "You're so thoughtful!" she kissed him viciously.

"You haven't even opened it," he laughed. She prised the paper bag open to see the chocolate and the bath bombs and embraced him in a gracious hug.

"You have no idea what this means to me," she whispered. When he looked at her he realised she was actually crying. There were only a few tears, but her eyes were glistening with a hundred more.

"Hey, Lottie – what's up?" he cooed.

"I've had an awful day, and you're just… brilliant. Thank you," she gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

Lily was nowhere to be seen. Everyone assumed she must've eaten already and gone up to bed, but Sirius doubted it. He stood up, cleared his throat and demanded everyone's attention.

"Hi! It's me, Sirius Black – I was just wondering if you've seen Lily Evans? Has seen been down here yet?" his eyes shot over to the Slytherin table where Severus glared at him moodily.

"She's not been down yet, Sirius, now sit down!" McGonagall ordered. The Gryffindor table burst into laughter as Sirius saluted to her. Everyone continued to laugh and chat about their day, and eventually Lily skipped into the hall looking too happy for someone that had just had a nearly seven hour detention. Sirius stood as she reached the table and made room between himself and Marlene. She shuffled in with a sad smile.

"What's up?" he asked kindly. "Bad detention?"

"No, it was…," she spotted Charlotte glaring at her, "it was terrible. I'll tell you about it later," Lily hinted. Luckily Sirius (and James) got the hint and continued eating their meal. As Lily had shown up half an hour after everyone else she was still eating when Emmeline decided to go up and cool her aching feet down. Remus, Marlene, Mary and Adam decided to follow suit. Even Charlotte stood up and announced that she was going to have a lovely bath, kissed James on the head and skipped out with the rest of the Gryffindors. Donna was sat with Gilderoy Lockheart, her hand in his very golden hair.

"So, spill," James demanded as soon as Charlotte had run off.

"Oh, detention was fine actually – Devarius decided that learning some advanced defence might be more useful than writing lines. In fact, I'm going to be going again," Lily explained cheerfully.

"You're willingly going to detention?" Sirius asked, baffled.

"It was fun! I can do a full corporeal patronus now, and loads of other things!" Lily enthused.

"Oh wow!" James congratulated, "What form is it?"

"Er…" Lily went red. "adhug" she mumbled.

"What?" Sirius inquired, unable to understand her muttering.

"It is a doe…" Lily said slowly, not making eye contact with anyone. "A female stag," James' face dropped into one of pure shock.

"You're sure? Are you sure it's not a horse?" James prodded.

"I bloody well know the difference between a doe and a horse James!" Lily snapped.

"Prongsette," Sirius laughed.

"Say that again and I will fake dump you," Lily threatened.

"Okay – so ignoring the beautiful beginnings of true love," Sirius said, "Why did you look so sad when you came in here?"

"I was… er…" Lily started, unsure if she should share the story. "I asked Madam Devarius why she wore her hair over half of her face," James paled and Lily was quick to notice. "You saved her life, didn't you?"

"I don't know what you mean," James lied.

"Yes you do. Why are you so ashamed? You saved at least three people that night, not to mention the rest…"

"Because how many good men can say they've killed someone?" James hissed at Lily. Sirius stopped dead.

"What?" he remarked.

"Do you want me to tell him?" Lily asked softly. James had gone angry, scary angry.

"He'll hate me," James muttered.

"Don't be ridiculous – the pair of you are brothers," Lily told him. "You tell him,"

"Fine, but I blame you for his reaction," James hissed again. "Do you remember I told you about why my mum has those funny headaches? How she has to go to bed and how my dad gets really worried?"

"She was attacked, yeah," Sirius recalled.

"It was eight years ago. You know who her brother was?"

"Rosier's dad?" Sirius confirmed.

"Yes. Well, they didn't like that she'd married my dad – so they kidnapped her, and me. And they tortured her, and she was so close to dying. Rosier was taunting her about something, and I was sat watching the whole thing. Somehow I broke the ropes that restrained me, I stole Rosier's wand and I killed him. I was seven years old and I killed him," James' face was deathly pale, and Lily wondered when he was going to be seeing the healer to get rid of the images that he saw. She wanted to reach out and hold his hand, but she held still.

"How does Devarius come into that?" Sirius pondered.

"You don't… you're not sickened?" James asked – eyes wide.

"No – She's your mum. I'd kill any bastard that set their hands on our Gracie. I _am_ however just a bit shocked that you told Lily and not me," Sirius asked moodily.

"I didn't – she must've guessed," James recalled from the evening she informed him that she was aware of his past.

"I did," Lily admitted.

"And how does Devarius fit into this?" Sirius repeated.

"She was very anti-death eater. They killed her son, kidnapped, tortured and killed her husband and "ruined" her once beautiful face with mandrake root juice,"

"Oh god, that's horrific!" Sirius gasped. "I can only… no wonder she uses her hair like that,"

"They were going to kill her, but were stopped by a small boy, who killed the big bad wolf," Lily explained. "You saved her life. And yours. And your mothers. And countless others!"

"Does it justify it though?" James pleaded. "Does it really gain me the forgiveness?"

"Yes," Sirius and Lily said in chorus.

"Evans, you tell me off enough for hexing someone!" James exclaimed. "How can you condone this?"

"You hex innocent people," Lily snarled.

"Snivellus isn't innocent," James muttered.

"I know," Lily sighed. "I know, but he's my friend. Please don't hurt him, not until I know for sure,"

"Know what?" Sirius questioned.

"If there's any chance of salvation for his soul," James said for her.

"Any luck?" Sirius asked.

"Not so far," Lily morosely replied.

"Oh! I got you a gift!" Sirius said following a moment of heavy silence.

"Why?" Lily asked, burrowing her eyebrows as he handed her the Mama Moon's bag. "Did you go into Mama Moon's?"

"I am a dedicated fake boyfriend, Lily," Sirius smiled. Lily reached her hand into the bag and pulled out the petals and the fudge.

"This is so considerate of you…" Lily pondered, "Come here you," Lily said, pulling Sirius into a thick hug and planting a kiss on the side of his cheek. James felt a small bought of the jealousy monster rising once more, as it had done plenty in the last 24 hours, but then a thought rekindled in him. A doe, "a female stag," she had said – she knew exactly what it meant, as much as he did.


	9. Chapter 9 Black and White and Ginger

**9. Black and White and Ginger**

The fake-lationship lasted longer than Lily had expected. Before she knew it, Christmas had come around and she found herself staying at Hogwarts over the holidays with Sirius by her side. Though it wasn't a conventional relationship by any standards, both parties enjoyed the perks of having someone there. Occasionally Lily would think to what Emmeline had said on the night they'd told them all about the fake-lationship, about how they were both just filling the James-void. Lily wondered if that was even a bad thing – no one was getting hurt.

Well, no one other than Severus Snape, who was becoming increasingly closed off from his best friend. The more time they spent together, the more sullen he became. Lily wondered if she had changed since her time with Sirius, or whether Severus just didn't find happiness in her company any longer. Whatever it was, it annoyed Lily to no end, as she vowed that following his return after the Christmas holidays she would attempt to rectify their friendship. She still had faith in him.

Emmeline had returned home this Christmas, as had Remus, whose condition would be coinciding with the holidays. Apparently things were a lot safer at home. Because of their both being home, however, Emmeline had invited Remus over to her house for the New Year, to attend a party and meet her parents. James and Sirius spent hours upon hours taunting Remus about this, to which he shrugged them off and pointed out that they were both just jealous. Unlike the very successful relationships going on around him, Peter's day out with Amelia Bones had ended in tragedy when she'd shaken his hand at the doors of the castle and expressed a wish to stay friends. Peter didn't seem too bothered about it, however – he merely spent time with the rest of the fifth year Gryffindors.

Peter was also going home for the holidays, as he was to see his dad before he moved over to America permanently. The girl's dormitory would be near empty if it wasn't for Lily and Mary, who were both staying. Lily wanted to go home, but she didn't fancy seeing Petunia and allowing her to ruin _another_ Christmas. Mary had heard about Lily's plight and decided to put her name on the list to keep her company. No one really heard from Donna as she was always hanging around with Amos Diggory and Gilderoy Lockheart, but she wasn't staying over the holidays.

The first evening of the half term, Lily sat with Sirius, Mary, James, Alice and Frank. Lily was actually snuggled with Sirius, as she'd been cold – he'd warmed her up. James was reading a book called 'On the Road' and Mary was peeking at it over his shoulder. Both Lily and Sirius could tell that it annoyed him, but he allowed her to continue because it kept her quiet. Then again, Sirius had fallen asleep about half an hour ago. Alice and Frank were snogging in the corner.

"Do you mind?" James asked after a few minutes of revolting kissy sounds. "I'm sort of reading,"

"Sorry," Alice giggled, and took Frank by the hand, tugging him through the portrait hole.

"That's vile," James muttered.

"That's cute!" Lily argued. "They're perfect,"

"Hardly, it's disgusting," James continued to complain. "See, in this book, no one likes the main female character, do you know why?"

"Why?" Lily asked sincerely.

"Because she's a bitch," James put bluntly. "Just like the majority of your kind,"

"Is this about Charlotte?" Mary asked kindly.

"Of course it bloody well is!" James screamed. "The slag kissed Ulysess Blaise!"

"He's not even good looking anymore," Lily agreed.

"That's the last time I pity her enough to be in a relationship!" James bellowed.

"Does she know you've broken up?" Mary enquired.

"Probably. I'll owl her tomorrow," James muttered incessantly. "SLAG!" he screamed. "I feel better now," Sirius jerked awake.

"I'm not a slag," he muttered. "I'm wholly devoted to Lily," he joked. Mary however wasn't in on the joke and awed. "And I'm tired, so I will be going to bed," Sirius yawned, curling himself from Lily and cracking his neck.

"Quidditch player thing?" she asked James who smiled.

"Night sweetie," Sirius said, kissing the top of Lily's head and ambling up the stairwell. Mary yawned too.

"I should go-" yawn –" to bed too," she said. "Coming Lily?"

"No… I think I'll stay here," Lily smiled and waved Mary goodnight.

James looked at Lily sat on the couch. She was shivering. Without thought he grabbed her wrist and led her to sit beside him next to the fire. He put his arm around her. Surprisingly she didn't push him away, but melted into the space under his arm. They stayed like that for a while – watching the smoke from the fire, and the flames lick the sky. He looked down at her – there was a stray hair over her face, and if he had been feeling particularly clichéd, he would have tucked it behind her ear.

"Hey Lil," he whispered. It had been weeks since they'd been alone together, much less like this. Sirius had always been around, which wasn't a bad thing, really. But it meant that James couldn't act like this – not like he needed to act. Sat beside the fire, calmly with Lily was familiar – something they both needed.

"Hey James," she smiled. James knew that smile and he knew the lips. His eyes lingered on her eyes – the green eyes he loved so much. With that gaze, he knew he should have gone with Sirius up to the dorm. It was torture for him, holding her, trying not to notice how beautiful she was. With every second staring at her his sense of reason melted away.

"It's late," he commented.

"Yes," Lily replied.

"Are you tired?" James asked.

"Not at all," she said intensely. His mind wondered to the past month and a half – she had been acting differently towards him. He wondered if it was the fake relationship with Sirius or the realisation of the doe. His own mind hadn't strayed from the doe – the stag and the doe.

"Can we try something, Lil?" he asked her quietly. She nodded, cleared her throat and said

"Yeah, sure. What?"

"Stand up," he directed her, following her lead. Once stood he cast his patronus – he didn't need a memory, he simply looked at her smile. Prongs came to life at once, standing grandly in the middle of the common room. Lily seemed to understand, though she was very shy in her actions. Removing her wand from her pocket she closed her eyes and cast her own patronus. It was the first time he'd seen it, and it genuinely surprised him – the creature burst out of her wand and settled next to Prongs. The pair considered each other, circling one another. The doe looked angry and readied itself to attack, and Prongs acted in turn, flashing his large antlers. Calming down the doe took another look at the stag. They were both still momentarily, and then they intertwined. The doe moved forwards and nuzzled Prongs, who returned the favour.

James looked at Lily, watching their two spirit guardians behaving in such a way. He felt a pull towards her, wishing that, as Prongs had done, he could nuzzle up to the girl and stop her worries. He wondered if she was thinking about Sirius in that moment.

"So when do you want your condition filled?" Lily turned to him with a smile.

"What?" James questioned.

"When do you want to… go on a date?" Lily asked, blushing.

"You're kidding?" James accused.

"No – you said that once you'd broken up with Charlotte you wanted me to give you a chance," Lily said pointedly. "I want to give you a chance,"

"You have no idea how long I've been planning this date," James laughed. "Are you sure?"

"I should probably ask Sirius first," Lily smiled.

"Don't," James asked. "Don't tell him,"

"I have to James," Lily told him. "You know I do,"

"I know – but… he won't agree to it," James admitted. "He'll hate me,"

"What, why?" Lily questioned.

"Because you're you," James explained. "How could a guy not love you?"

"Sirius doesn't…"

"I think he does,"

"He loves you too,"

"Ménage toi, it is then!" James proclaimed sarcastically. "This is a mess,"

"I know," Lily sighed. The doe and Stag were still beside one another.

"If you could salvage Snape… make him come to the good side… would you… love him?"

"No. I think at one point I might've. But…" she trailed off.

"You heard the rumours?" James inquired gently – worried that if she hadn't, it would be him who would have to inform her.

"Every single one," she sighed bitterly.

"Sirius isn't happy about them either," James told her, though she probably already knew. They may not be in a technically-real relationship, but they were still very close.

"You mean about his brother? No. He knows exactly what I mean when I say I want to save Sev. You don't, do you?"

"I don't understand it," James admitted with something hidden in his eyes. "Did you ever think it'd be like this when you got your letter?"

"A world at war?" Lily questioned. The look on James' face answered her. "No, I barely believe it now,"

"That's the thing about Hogwarts – it's so safe," James sighed.

"Are you going to fight?" Lily asked him, though she knew the answer. James Potter was a warrior – he may have deluded himself with a future of Quidditch playing and ease, but when it came to fighting there was no way he'd back down.

"With my life, if necessary," there was an edge of added intensity to his voice. "You will,"

"How are you so sure?" Lily challenged.

"You told me yourself – plus, you wouldn't let me go into battle alone,"

"Who says I'll be fighting _with_ you?" teased the girl. James couldn't help but grin.

"Oh, sorry – I forget that you're a death eater in training. Let's see your dark mark,"

"A lady never shows her Lord's mark," Lily fake blushed. "And a gentleman would never ask to see it," James was right in front of her now, the grin slowly fading from his face as they realised that they were eye to eye. He looked into her emerald ones with his hazel and there was intensity which James hated being there.

"Well, maybe I'm not a gentleman?" James growled; his heart beating against his Adam's apple.

"Sorry – did we… er," Alice muttered awkwardly. The stag and doe had disappeared and James jumped back from Lily, his eyes still glued to her. Lily's eyes were wide with shock. Oh yes – James reminded himself – she was apparently in love with Sirius, a fact of which Alice and Frank were sure of.

"Sorry – we were just talking," James excused.

"We saw," Frank said darkly. Frank was normally a shy boy, but there was something challenging about his posture. Alice seemed to pick up on this and nudged him in the side.

"We'll go," Alice mumbled, pulling on Frank's shirt. "Night,"

"Wait…" Lily called out. "It's not like… it's not how it looks,"

"Oh really?" Frank asked angrily. "Then pray tell, Lily – what was it?"

"We were just talking," Lily mumbled. She respected Frank, he was both smart and ambitious, but right now he was making her feel like a child.

"Well, perhaps Sirius should know?" Frank asked. Lily didn't know why she felt so bad – her relationship with the other marauder was a ruse, but she had been feeling recently as if it was more. She felt as though she _owed_ him her heart.

"Longbottom, don't bother," James started.

"Why not Potter? He's your friend…" Frank said – his voice raising.

"Frank…" Alice interjected, but he cut her off.

"Alice, I love you. I believe in the sanctity of a relationship. I thought Lily did too," Frank barked.

"It's their business," Alice muttered.

"Yes – our business Longbottom," a voice called from the stairwell. Lily looked up to see Sirius standing two stairs up wearing black pyjama bottoms. Her voice caught in her throat.

"Sirius," Frank began. "I think you should have a word with Lily and James,"

"I trust Lily and James with my life Frank – why shouldn't I trust them with my heart?" Sirius questioned; his eyes on Lily. The redhead wondered if what James had said earlier that evening was true – could Sirius have started to have feelings for her?

"Quite right, off to bed," Frank grunted and kissed Alice goodnight. They went off to their separate dorms.

"Why were Longbottom's knickers in a twist?" Sirius said, yawning with a grin.

"He thought…" Lily started, but James took over.

"He thought Lily and I were kissing," he said pointedly.

"And were you?" Sirius asked, trying to act cool. Lily had learnt Sirius Black like a textbook – his shoulders were hunched and his eyebrows raised – he was uncomfortable but he was around James. It was almost a juxtaposition for him. James signalled security.

"Would it matter if we were?" James challenged – his own posture very similar. Lily wondered if the pair ever fought – and if they did, what did they fight over? Not her, surely.

"She _is_ my girlfriend," Sirius half-joked.

"Only by a lie," James said in a harsher tone he'd ever spoken to Sirius with.

"Possibly," Sirius replied. There was a silence that cut the air – James looked at Lily, Lily looked at James. Sirius looked at Lily too. There was little to be said that was not shown in their eyes.

"I was asking Lily to agree to her part of the deal – the reason I agreed to this whole thing," James lied. It had actually been Lily to suggest the date – James hadn't even thought to push the subject.

"And what did she say?" Sirius asked curiously.

"I'd appreciate if you didn't act as though I was elsewhere. I am right here, thank you," Lily chimed in.

"She said she should ask you if it was okay," James answered his question, totally ignoring Lily's own presence.

"Right," Sirius acknowledged.

"And is it?" James pushed.

"Why wouldn't it be? This isn't a real relationship – it's not like I actually… yes, whatever, Potter," Sirius snapped, and stormed back to the stairwell, his eyes reverently avoiding Lily's. His entrance to the dorm was signalled by the banging of a door, which probably woke Remus, Peter and Adam.

"I'm sorry," James muttered.

"Oh god," Lily fretted. "He… he didn't even look at me!"

"Yes he did," James whispered. "You just weren't looking at him,"

"He hates me," Lily said, her heart thrumming in her chest. She was thankful that one of the boys had left, and indeed that it had been Sirius, for James was now calming her down from her panicking. There was no way she could've dealt with them fighting.

"Of course he doesn't," James chuckled softly, "I'll go talk to him,"

"Don't fight," she begged quietly. He moved her chin so that their eyes met and smile reassuringly.

"We'll be fine, Lil," he grinned, kissed her on the top of the head and watched as she shakily made her way to her nearly empty dorm.

The next day Lily could tell that there was something off with the two marauders. It didn't go unnoticed by others, either. Down at a late breakfast (everyone had slept in) Mary had pointed out that whilst James and Sirius sat beside each other without fail, now Remus and Peter separated them both. Lily pretended not to know what she was talking about, whilst all the while she couldn't get James' voice out of her head. "You just weren't looking at him,"

She was so wrapped up in her own mind that when Sirius approached her alone in the library she didn't notice that he was talking to her.

"Lily!" he called out loudly, shaking his hand in front of her face.

"Sirius!" she jumped, startled by his presence. "Sorry… I was just…"

"Expecting someone else?" her boyfriend asked sourly, taking a seat opposite her.

"No, just away with the fairies," Lily admitted with a forced smile.

"Right," Sirius said. "It's the Christmas holidays. Why are you here?"

"We have our OWLs in just a number of months," Lily pointed out. It was true – she'd been making revision timetables and going over notes for weeks now.

"Exactly! Month, why are you so stressed?" Sirius ridiculed.

"I'm not stressed, just prepared," Lily explained. "Why are you here?"

"Mary told me you'd be here," Sirius answered.

"Why are you not off causing mischief?" Lily grinned. Since their fake-lationship Lily had overlooked many occurrences in which Sirius had gone missing for a few hours, and something against the rules had occurred. Convincing herself that it was simply a coincidence was easily done when she had revision to do.

"Potter is busy planning," Sirius said, the humour gone from his face.

"Potter?"

"James Potter. You know, the berk you're going on a date with," Sirius hissed.

"I know who James is. I just wasn't aware that he was 'Potter' to you. I thought you…"

"Liked him?" Sirius smiled. "I do,"

"Then why the… distances?" Lily questioned. Of course – this wasn't about her, it was about James.

"He asked you on a date… what Remus said… about me caring about people? I think he's right. I would die for any one of my friends – but that being said I can't admit to having more than five," Sirius explained. "He said that I give myself completely to the people I trust. In a way that he calls love,"

"And has James broken your trust?" Lily asked.

"Yes – but I broke his first," Sirius admitted.

"How?" questioned Lily, wondering what on earth Sirius could have done to hurt James. Neither of them had mentioned anything.

"What was the first thing he asked you before agreeing to accept this relationship?" Sirius asked her, trying to help her to the point.

"To go on a date with him?" Lily wondered.

"No," Sirius rejected. "Before that," Lily racked her brains.

"He asked me if I liked you…" Lily realised.

"He asked me the same thing – he made me promise not to have my answer change," Sirius drooped his head. She pieced together what he was saying. James had been right; Sirius cared about her, and because of Sirius' awful upbringing he found it hard to care about people. But once he did, it was forever, because to Sirius that was what family meant. And family meant love and trust.

"I see," Lily said. It wasn't that Sirius loved her totally romantically. It was that Sirius loved James like a best friend, and that he'd left him, so he'd found Lily. And now he saw Lily as something just as close, and James had stolen it away – at least in his eyes. "You're one of my best friends, Sirius,"

"I don't want to get left behind," he admitted sadly. "Can we… start again?"

"What do you mean?"

"The fake-lationship – can we make it real?" Sirius begged.

"We can't – you know we can't," Lily told the boy. "James…"

"James doesn't really love you," Sirius said quickly. Lily was shocked at how it stung her – like an insult.

"What…?" she asked, trying to form sentences.

"I worked it out, Lil – he doesn't love you," the boy began. "He… what he did to Rosier… he doesn't forgive himself for that,"

"It was in self-defence!" Lily exclaimed.

"I know that! So do you – but he doesn't. James grew up very black and white, very much like me in fact. His parents are aurors – to aurors there is either a good person or a bad person. James has grown up thinking that. Severus, he thinks, is a bad person, because of the things he's done. You are a good person, because you've never done wrong.

"When he… did what he did… he thinks he became a bad person, and he hates that. He hates that part of himself – the part that fought against his mother's capture – the bit the saved her life,"

"That's stupid! He had to do it," Lily sighed. "And James Potter _doesn't_ hate himself,"

"Of course he doesn't – James is the cockiest prat I know. But this… perfect guy thing – it's not him, I don't think. The Quidditch captain, funny guy, respectable figure – it's all fake," Sirius whispered.

"How?"

"He wants to be the best, because the best means he's good," he sighed. Lily stared at him.

"I don't see how that has anything to do with me," Lily pondered, remembering the painful start to the conversation.

"Guys like Potter need people to accept them. If James didn't have his entourage of people who fancy and adore him, he wouldn't be James. He thinks he loves you, because you're good. You're the sole good in his life – that's how he sees it. If you love him back, and accept him – then he can be one of the good guys again," Sirius finished.

"That doesn't make sense! The world isn't split into good people and death eaters, Sirius. Surely he knows that? I'm not… perfect. I'd like to think myself as good, but we all have both light and dark inside of us. For example that time I slapped Charlotte, and didn't regret it – a good person wouldn't do that,"

"That's a nice way of putting that – I might steal it," Sirius smiled.

"Go ahead. Preach!" Lily returned the smile.

"But in the way you try to salvage Snape – Snape the bad guy, you still have hope in him. The way I have hope in Reg – he wants someone to save his soul,"

"That's stupid! No one has the ability to save another person's soul!"

"James doesn't see it like that, I don't think – so he's convinced himself that he loves you. But he doesn't," again a stinging in her chest that probably shouldn't have been there. "But I do, Lil. I really care about you,"

"Sirius…" Lily started, but he interrupted.

"Don't tell me it's not there too, Lil. You find me attractive, don't you?" Sirius said with an arrogant gleam in his eyes. "I saw the way you looked at me last night. And we work well together,"

"On the contrary, since you entered the library I haven't read a word of this text book," Lily joked.

"You were hardly reading it before I turned up," Sirius reminded her.

"I just think… I owe Potter the chance to change my mind," Lily told him. "It was a condition,"

"So you're going on the date?" Sirius asked numbly. Lily nodded. "Do you want to fake-break up?"

"I don't know…" Lily thought. "It might be easier,"

"No matter what happens, you're still one of my favourite people," Sirius informed her. "And if it's any consolation, I don't think James sees the world in total black and white. I think there's some ginger in there too,"

"Black and white and ginger," Lily laughed.

"If we could get Rodney White to agree with us, we could start an investigation agency. What was it you said about a Sherlock Holmes phase?" Sirius joked.

"Shut it Black, and walk me to dinner," Lily ordered, packing her stuff into her bag.

"Yes Ma'am," Sirius grinned properly and jumped up from his chair.

Lily waited for news about her date from James, but none came until Christmas Eve. It was snowing outside, and when she woke up in the morning, even Mary was full of Christmas spirit. She's decked the dormitory with tinsel, and hung mistletoe, paper snowflakes that snowed smaller snowflakes, and ball-balls everywhere. Trudging down early to get some nice hot croissants, she hadn't expected to be accosted by James Potter the second her foot reached the common room.

"Date time!" he announced cheerfully. She looked at him incredulously. She hadn't been on many dates – granted, but she was sure that the girl was meant to agree to the time and date. "Or do you have something better to be doing today?" James asked with a grin. Of course she didn't – she'd done most of her homework already, and so the majority of her holidays were spent doing nothing with all of her friends around her.

"I'll go get changed," Lily said, dully turning around on the stairwell. James grabbed her wrist.

"No, you look fine – we need to go now, strict schedule," James insisted. Lily looked down at herself – she was wearing day old jeans, a blue blouse and a huge knitted jacket that made her look like a frumpy cat lady. It was hardly the attire for a date. James, looked brilliant of course – but even more so than normal. He wore a scarlet V-necked jumper and black jeans, with a pair of heavy boots. His cloak was flung over his arm. Lily noticed his hair – it was tamer than normal – not clean-tame, but very much less wild than it normally was. And his glasses were on straight – that was a rarity for James Potter.

"Where are we going?" Lily asked, worried as to why he had his cloak.

"I won't spoil the surprise," James smiled. "I've got everything we'll need,"

"That's not worrying what so ever…" Lily remarked sarcastically, taking his out stretched hand, wishing she'd done something more with her hair. It was hard enough being in a fake relationship with Sirius Black without feeling like Cinderella's ugly sister, but going on what was almost a real date with James Potter with her hair in a ponytail and only minimalistic makeup was dully unfair.

"Cheer up, Evans," James grinned as he led her through the portrait hole and turned left. "You're on a date with me after all,"

"But we're walking away from the croissants. Why are we walking away from the croissants?" she groaned as he led her down the corridor.

"You'll see," James said enigmatically dragging her down the corridor.

"You're a lousy date," Lily informed him, as she limped after him awkwardly.

"We're barely five minutes in!" James complained.

"Yes! And you look like James Dean's cuter brother and won't let me make myself look less like a dungeon troll, and you're dragging me from the yummy croissants!" Lily cried. James stopped speeding down the corridor to look at her.

"You look beautiful, Lily Evans," James told her, whilst staring into her eyes. For a second she was mesmerized by their hazel colour. "And trust me!"

"Fine. Whatever," she said, allowing him to drag her hand first towards a room. She didn't know what the room was normally used for, but when he allowed her through the door, she saw that it was acting as their place of breakfasting. There was on small desk with a tablecloth placed over it, a basket of croissants in the centre of it, with two chairs around it. James pulled the chair up for Lily, waited until she was seated, and then sat himself beside her.

"You've outdone yourself, Potter," Lily grinned, grabbing a chocolate filled croissant and pouring herself some hot chocolate.

"Oh, this is just the beginning – I've got our whole day planned," James grinned, as he obviously knew something she didn't.

"What will we be doing?" Lily asked, taking a bite from her breakfast. James helped himself to one also.

"That'd be telling," he informed her with a mouth full of croissant.

"That's kind of the point…" Lily implied, but James just laughed. He took a sip from his own drink.

"I want it to be a surprise," James smiled innocently.

"You're not going to chuck me out of a window again, are you?" Lily asked worried.

"No – I like to come up with fresh ways to frighten you into kissing me," James laughed. Lily joined in.

"What a line," she noted.

"It's not a line!" James recoiled, shocked.

"It was kind of a line, Potter," Lily told him. His face dropped.

"Can we drop the Potter bit, just for today? You can go right back to it if you want to… just… today, we're going to be Lily and James, okay?" Lily nodded. "Great,"

When they were done with their breakfast James pointed Lily to a bag at the side of the room. Lily went over to it and opened it up. Inside was an array of clothes and a pair of shoes.

"Am I meant to change?" Lily asked.

"You'll want to – it'll be cold outside," James told her. "There's a bathroom down the corridor,"

"Thanks," Lily smiled and carried the bag down to the girl's bathroom. Inside she changed into what was her emerald jumper (probably courtesy of the house-elves), a thick cloak that wasn't hers, ski socks and a thick pair of boots in her size. Seizing the opportunity to make herself look a little more presentable, Lily used a spell to make her hair form in nice curls, rather than the wild ones they were after pulling it from its pony tail, and another to give her face more colour. Once she was satisfied with her appearance, Lily threw her old clothes back into the bag and went back into the corridor where James was waiting for her.

"Leave the bag here – it'll just get in the way," James instructed her.

"But, it might get stolen," Lily complained.

"Don't worry – I've got it all sorted out," James smiled. "Your hand, my lady?" he held out his hand to her and she took it. "That reminds me!" the boy jumped, pulling two pairs of gloves, two scarves and two woolly hats from a pocket.

"How did that all fit in there?" Lily questioned. James just winked and tapped his nose.

"A real wizard never reveals his secrets," he insisted.

James led her down an entanglement of hidden corridors and portraits until they reached a statue. He whispered something to the figure, and tapped it with his wand. The thing burst to life at once, opening and revealing a passage. Lily gasped to see it, but James calmly led her through the tunnel, casting a lumos maximus charm to light their way. All the while he kept hold of her hand, steadying her down the rough passageway.

The walk was long, and Lily wondered where on earth in the castle this could leave, when a thought troubled her – James knew a lot of passages both in and out of Hogwarts – could they possibly be travelling to Hogsmeade or further? Her questions were answered at once when James grinned at her.

"Want to see my biggest secret of all?" James asked; his eyes on fire with happiness.

"You're not going to get naked, are you?" Lily fretted. Surprisingly James burst out laughing, to which Lily couldn't help but feel a giggling relief.

"No, not unless you want me to?" Lily shook her head. "Then I shall merely explain the floating head,"

"You mean you're going to tell me that I was correct about the invisibility cloak I guessed that you own?" Lily corrected him.

"Pretty much, yes," James laughed, pulling a silvery looking cloak from the same pocket that had hidden all of the winter wear. Lily was actually very grateful for the gloves as the passage was freezing cold. He beaconed for her to come nearer to him – at first she stumbled closer to the boy awkwardly, but he just grinned down at her with that smile that held a million possibilities. He threw the cloak over her head, and they were both enveloped beneath its warmth.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hi," she returned just as quietly. The cloak didn't give much room for movement, and so they were intimately close. She remembered the last time they had been this close – Frank's anger, Sirius' sadness. She hadn't told James about her conversation with her boyfriend, and assumed that Sirius hadn't either. The nagging thought stayed in her head though, that James didn't really like her – he just wanted her to like him.

"Are you ready?" he asked, knocking the thought from her head.

"I guess so," Lily replied with a tight smile. She was worried – what was above the trapdoor that they'd need to be invisible for?

James pushed the slab up and moved it aside. He climbed the ladder fully covered by the cloak – but Lily fell out. She followed him quickly and jumped under the cloak herself. Once she removed her eyes from James, she surveyed her surroundings. James was fixing the slat back in its place, and she caught sight of a wooden crate reading "Honeydukes,"

"James… Are we in the Honeydukes cellar?" Lily hissed.

"Possibly – if I say yes will you freak out?" he inquired. It was a fair question, as Lily was just on the verge of doing exactly as he'd guessed.

"We're breaking at least 50 school rules!" she whispered in his ear.

"Calm it Lily, you won't get caught," James assured her with a smile.

"Why not?"

"You're with me," he smiled. James led the way up the staircase and out of the shop. Lily was actually surprised it was open on Christmas Eve, but there were a few customers browsing the shelves – then again (due to the lack of every Hogwarts student being there) it was the emptiest she had seen the shop. When the left the shop, James continued walking slowly around to an empty alleyway, where he removed the cloak from their heads and returned it to his pocket.

The village looked like something you'd see on a Christmas card. The roofs were decked with a thick layer of snow – a choir stood stationary in the middle of the road singing rehearsed carols, with mistletoe and trees and little fairy lights twinkling everywhere. Each door was adorned with a holly wreath and there was a snow man fifty foot away from her. Lily wished that she had her camera so that she could take a picture for her mother.

"Right then," James said. "I decided to come here because I guessed that you've never seen a wizarding town in Christmas,"

"I haven't – it's fantastic," Lily commented. "Really beautiful,"

"Well, obviously – I had to find some way to compete with you," James grinned.

"So what're we doing here?" Lily asked.

"Shopping, of course! And then we'll grab a butterbeer," James informed her. Lily smiled.

"Don't tell me, we're doing all of your last minute Christmas shopping?" Lily joked.

"Of course," James laughed. "Come along Lily,"

The rest of the morning was just like a normal Hogsmeade day, but for the fact that there was almost no one around. Those who were walking the streets or doing some late shopping themselves, smiled at the pair, and gave them Christmas greetings. Some James knew by name and would stop to have a quick chat, introduce Lily and then bid farewell to; others simply enjoyed the Christmas spirit. James apparently hadn't gotten Sirius anything yet and ended up getting him an enchanted juke box – apparently you could play it as loud as you wanted and no one outside of the room you were in would be able to hear it. Then James led Lily to the Quill emporium, where he purchased her (much to her annoyance) a particularly elegant looking Quill. She thanked him for it eventually; when he said that if she didn't take it he'd give it to a house elf.

By lunch they were both feeling rather peckish from their hard morning's shop, and so headed to the Three Broomsticks for a quick butterbeer and lunch. Rosemerta (whom Lily wasn't aware knew any of the students by name) greeted James as soon as they entered.

"James Potter, where's Sirius?" the woman greet friendlily, then she spotted Lily. "Oh, a date?"

"Sorry, Rosie, I just couldn't wait for you to love me back," James joked and took the corner booth. The pub was fairly full – there were at least five people at the bar itself, with a few people tucked into tables or booths. James grinned at Lily. "I'm really glad you're here,"

"Me too, funnily enough," Lily admitted, causing herself to turn red.

"Don't be embarrassed, it's just me and you," James assured her, his hand stroking the top of hers over the table. Rosmerta appeared with a friendly smile.

"Two butterbeers please, Rosie," James grinned and winked.

"You boy, will be the absolute death of me," Rosmerta commented, and strutted away.

"She's not the only one," Lily added.

"What?"

"I had a chat with Sirius the other day," Lily said, unsure as to why she was bringing it up.

"Oh?" James asked, suddenly reserved.

"He asked me to remove the fake element from our relationship," Lily told him.

"Oh,"

"I told him I was still going to come on our date," she admitted, her eyes unwavering from his. He looked up at her, confused.

"Why?"

"I'm not quite sure - I guess that… our paths just seemed crossed. Everything leads back to you. Everywhere I look, everything I see – you're there somehow. When I'm with Severus I convince myself that it annoys me, but honestly… I'm tired of that – I want to be honest with myself. You and me are like the sun and the moon – two totally separate entities,"

"But the moon couldn't shine without you… I mean the sun," James finished for her.

"Okay – maybe that was a bad example – but you and me… we're something I can't put my finger on. No matter how much I attempt to hate you, or stay away, we always end up right back here – trying to give each other another chance," Lily finished, wishing that James would look away from her. Rosmerta appeared again and dropped off their drinks.

"So what does Severus think of our date?" James asked after a long silence.

"He doesn't know," was all Lily said.

"And Sirius?"

"He's your best friend," Lily pointed out.

"I know – I knew this would happen," James muttered.

"If it comes down to choosing, it has to be him, you understand?" Lily told James. His face dropped.

"You'd pick him?" James recoiled, hurt.

"Not me! You – you'd have to pick him. The whole reason he needed me was because you ran off with Parkinson," said Lily. "You're the one constant in his life. If he lost you… he'd go insane,"

"As if he isn't already," James chuckled.

"Seriously, James – it will always be him," Lily said sternly.

"I know," James smiled meekly. "But c'mon, drink up and order!"

They returned to Hogwarts the same way they left and walked down to the grounds, where James said he had a special surprise. The keeper of keys, Hagrid, was waiting outside his hut, and James made his way towards him. The giant man grinned at them both.

"Potter – yer late," he said.

"Sorry, Rubeus – this is Lily, Lily – Hagrid," James introduced them. Lily shook his enormous hand and smiled. "Are we ready?"

"Tis a bit cold, James," Hagrid warned, but nodded with his hairy head nonetheless. He led James and Lily to the great lake, at which point Lily kind of freaked out. James grinned away her doubts and told her it would be fine – the next part of their date was a boat ride around the lake. Lily wondered if it was safe.

"Of course it's safe- wouldn't let 'im do it if it weren't," Hagrid grinned. "In ye get," he said, lifting Lily into the wooden boat that they'd ridden in on their first day of Hogwarts. James helped himself to get in. Hagrid pushed them away and waved them off, grinning as he went back to his hut.

James controlled the boat with his wand, directing them farther away from the shore whilst making lazy conversation about exams, friends and other things. Eventually they got onto the topic of them again.

"I'm just saying, that you really hurt my feelings," James laughed. "I turned the entire school ginger!"

"Do you know how humiliating that was?" Lily cried. "I had people asking if I'd given them gingervitus for a week! That's not even a real disease!"

"Can you appreciate how much effort I put into that?" James implored.

"Not even a little bit… okay, it was fairly fantastic magic, but you could've just tried… you know, being nice?" Lily suggest with a snort.

"I'm being nice today," James grinned toothily. He looked gorgeous, she couldn't help but notice. "Does that count for something?"

"I suppose so," Lily smiled. James was leaning into her, and she to him without realising. His eyes looked golden in the moonlight reflected from the lake, and his lips were slightly parted.

"I like you Lily," James whispered with a small smile. "I really like you,"_ he doesn't love you – he just wants you to fix him._ "Do you like me?"

"James…" Lily whispered.

"I love how you say my name. James Potter – you make me feel so… good," James whispered, and that was pretty much when the voice (that sounded a lot like Sirius) started screaming inside her head. But even so he got closer to her, his eyes on her lips.

"Please… don't," Lily said, closing her eyes, not budging an inch.

"Then stop me," James instructed her. "You want to kiss me, Lily. You wanted to kiss me in September, and you want to kiss me now," and the problem was that she couldn't stop him – because he was right. There was a part of her – the part that soldiers say keep them alive when their on the front line – that needed to kiss those lips. Just like he needed her – to accept him, to love him, to kiss him.

"This is wrong," she said pulling away. "Sirius…"

"Is the person you will wake up in the morning and kiss Merry Christmas – but why not now, Lily? On this little boat suspended in time? No one can see – no one has to know!"

"I'd know!"

"You'd like it," James teased.

"Probably," Lily admitted without a blush.

"Then stop resisting it," James said with a wonky smile, leaning in faster this time.

"James…" she started again, but the closer he came the more her mind went to mush. It had been enough to pull away the first time, but again?

"Do you remember – four years ago – there was one girl and one boy both about to train to be witches and wizards, and the girl was looking at the sky, amazed at the stars? The stars are still above us. Three years ago tomorrow in the court yard – the girl was sad and the boy was comforting her because he couldn't bear to see her beautiful smile perished. Two years ago – some weirdo kissed the girl, and the boy couldn't bear to see it happen so he threw a rock at him and chased him away. Then he kissed you in a stupid plan to make things better but made things worse? A year ago, the girl thought she'd lost her best friend, and the boy tried to make her feel better – they kissed again but then she kissed her supposed best friend and shattered the boy's heart. Then he spent weeks concocting plans to get her to go out with him. Four months ago – the boy took the girl on her first flying lesson, they landed on the roof of the castle – she went to kiss him but he ruined everything once again. Then again – when we took on an army and McGonagall showed up. We're both here now Lily – we don't have to ruin it this time," James said.

Thoughts spun around her head- but it was going to ruin something! She thought. There was something that she should be worrying about, rather than leaning in and giving into the temptation. There was a face, a boy, someone she should be thinking about. But in that moment there was nothing but James Potter's lips and her own – his hand in her curly hair – the snow that started falling and the smile stealing his face. Somewhere there was a boy who hadn't left his dorm all day, who hadn't eaten the food that Remus had brought up for him, who had been watching the half-finished map at the two names.

_Lily Evans and James Potter – the two people Sirius needed above anyone else, needed each other more._

It was a Christmas of stealing kisses for Lily Evans. She woke in the morning to see a familiar owl at her window. Unlocking it and letting the cold air in, Lily took the note wrapped around the owl's leg. It bit her finger.

_Meet me in the breakfast room pronto – J_

Lily sighed and thought about Sirius. She hadn't seen him when they'd returned to the common room after a long day of "studying", and Mary said he hadn't been around. Apparently she thought all three of them had been together. Lily wondered if he'd be around today. She hoped so – she guessed that he was probably awake already, if James was. They both seemed to share the same body clock – and today was Christmas. Lily looked over at the sleeping Mary and quietly dressed in thick tights, a skirt and a Christmas jumper. She silently padded her way out of the dorm and through the empty common room.

James was already there when she reached the room they had breakfasted in yesterday. The table and croissants had gone, but it was just as empty as ever. The moment she closed the door, James crossed the distance between them and kissed her firmly on the mouth. The room was dark and she couldn't see his face.

"Merry Christmas," he sighed. Lily smiled.

"You too," she said.

"You look amazing," he commented, studying her jumper. He kissed her again, this time lingering on her lips. His hands held the small of her back so that she was as closely pressed to him as possible, and the other held her head so that she couldn't pull away. She wouldn't have wanted to.

"How's Sirius?" she asked as he let her down with a grin.

"He seemed fine this morning," James said, but it was obvious in his tone of voice that he was hiding something.

"And what about last night?" Lily questioned, feeling like a prison warden or a mother.

"He punched me," James admitted, then Lily saw – there was a cut on the side of his cheek. She jumped up and fussed him at once.

"What? Why did he do that?" Lily demanded.

"According to Sirius it's bad manners to take your best friends girlfriend out on a date and kiss her silly," James explained nonchalantly.

"You told him about us kissing?" Lily cried, outraged.

"No, he kind of… guessed…" James told her.

"How did he guess?" Lily ordered.

"He had the map," was all he said as explanation. Lily understood at once. He'd have seen their proximity easily on the map.

"Oh God, I'm a terrible person…" Lily said, pushing James away from her. She couldn't think when he was so close to her – when his smell was clouding her rationality.

"Lil…"

"Don't Lil me, Potter. This is your best friend! No more kissing!" Lily demanded. She was working out a plan in her head. She couldn't hurt Sirius – not ever.

"So you're going to be in a real relationship with him?" incredibility was thick in his voice.

"No… I…"

"Okay – so I _have_ to choose Sirius, right? But you don't – who would you choose?" James questioned her. She could tell he was angry at her indecision, but she merely stuttered. "You can't have us both, not forever – who?"

"Sirius needs me…" Lily mumbled.

"_Sirius_ needs you? I've needed you next to me for five years! I need you!" James cried.

"To do what? Accept you? Make you feel like a good person? To love you for the sake of being loved?" Lily screamed. He was kissing her again immediately though this time more frantically.

At breakfast Mary was wondering why Lily hadn't opened any of her presents, and Lily said she was waiting for the Queen's speech – which was a total lie and they didn't have any form of TV in Hogwarts, so she'd not be able to see the speech. Mary lapped it up though and didn't question her word. Sirius arrived rather later than everyone else, taking the seat next to Lily, and strangely cupping her face in his hand and kissing her, deeper than he had ever done before. He pulled away quickly, but flashed her a smile.

"Merry Christmas, Lily," Sirius said. Across the table Lily could see James being put off his toast. She felt wretched.

There were only a few other people present – and so they were all eating at the one table again. Mary, Alice, Frank, Lily, Sirius, James, Dumbledore, a fifth year hufflepuff called Reginald, a first year Slytherin called Barty and a seventh year Ravenclaw girl called Melissa. Everyone was eating (Barty was her rival for the croissants) and laughing and joking. Even Sirius and James were joking with one another, though Lily noticed it was a very angry sort of humour.

"Thanks for the gift, Lily. I really loved it," Sirius whispered in her ear. She knew what he was doing, but she figured that as her boyfriend it was almost his right to be able to mark her as his territory. Not that it didn't annoy her – it made James look at her like she was meat and he hadn't eaten in weeks. There was something unnerving about the competition from the boys.

Eventually the Gryffindor's all headed up to the common room, Sirius not letting go of Lily's hands. She put up with it until they reached the sofas, when she purposefully put Mary in between them for scrabble. Lily had gotten it from her mother as a way to entertain her when she didn't have any homework. She'd also gotten a lovely quill set from Sirius, a box of home-made fudge from Marlene, a bracelet from Emmeline, assorted candy from Donna, a framed photo of all the Gryffindor's together from Mary, and a weird box that she couldn't seem to open from James.

The scrabble game went well, until James tried to convince Sirius that zerxquethe was a word meaning "Good day chap, I like your hat,". They started arguing – and not, family around the scrabble board on Christmas arguing, but guy arguing, which normally involved punching each other. Sirius stood up, and he had grown a lot taller than James recently, so though James was tall, he towered over the boy. This didn't put James off however, he just got more rallied.

"Come on then Potter, you think you're so good at everything!" Sirius spat.

"Think? Oh I know so. Do you know who else knows?" James hinted, Lily felt sick. They were starting towards each other, Sirius ready to throw the first punch when Lily jumped between them. It was a dangerous move, but Sirius dropped him hand and pulled Lily into a kiss. It was better ammunition that punching James, she realised – because he could kiss her in public, whereas James couldn't. Lily would never allow that.

Lily pushed Sirius back.

"Stop it! Outside, both of you," she said, her arms crossed. Frank tutted in the background. "Oh shut up, Longbottom," she snapped.

Dragging the pair into the empty corridor and screamed.

"Stop it! Sirius, I'm fake breaking up with you. James I don't want you to kiss me anymore. Settled?" she sighed, the anger coursing out of her. Both boys turned to her angrily.

"No," the boys growled in chorus.

"Lily, I lo…" James started.

"James, think what you want about your feelings for me. I don't matter! I'm just a girl. I'll be gone one day. I'm hardly going to be there until your dying day. Sirius Black is your best friend! Do not let me come between that!" She ordered. "And you! Stop being all territorial! You're not a dog," surprisingly both of the boys just burst out laughing. "What's so funny?" she demanded.

"Padfoot…" James laughed.

"Oh, bugger you and your stupid animagi. You're being pathetic," Lily spat. "Now sort this out,"

"What's to sort out?" James shrugged.

"You two trying to beat each other to death," Lily shrieked.

"Do you mind?" The Fat Lady hissed. "Some of us are trying to celebrate Christmas," she said hiccupping.

"Fine – tell me what happened yesterday," Sirius ordered. "Tell me that you didn't kiss him. Tell me that you haven't kissed him today. Tell me that you're not dying to reach for his hand to help support you right this second…"

"I…"

"Padfoot, I love her, and I love you," James said. Lily was shocked – that wasn't a very James thing to say at all. As far as she was aware men didn't like feelings.

"And I love you both!" Sirius said. Then Lily realised – they were in their guy zone again - the zone where Lily wasn't _really_ present, where they could tell each other anything. "I need both of you…"

"If you both love each other so much just get married!" Lily sighed, falling against the banister.

"You kissed her…" Sirius said – totally ignoring Lily's perfectly brilliant idea.

"You fell in love with her…" James responded. Sirius' face softened back into its normal grin.

"Can you blame me?" Sirius joked.

"Not at all," James replied with a grin. "What're we gonna do?"

"Want some firewhiskey?" Sirius offered.

"Of course!" James declared. It was at that point they seemed to notice Lily. "Want some firewhiskey?"

"No…" Lily said. "And you shouldn't either…"

"Why not? It helps – stops us fighting. It's Christmas!" Sirius reasoned. "We'll share,"

"No," Lily resounded. "But I won't stop you two,"

"Oh Lily," James said with a smile. "You think we should ask Frank?"

"He'd confiscate it," Lily warned.

"Old Longbottom? You underestimate the power of booze," James laughed.

"It's not even 12," Lily pointed out.

"If you show up drunk for dinner Dumbledore will know, and he'll kill you," she threatened. James shot a look to Sirius in contemplation.

"_One_ drink – the lass has a point," Sirius negotiated. James nodded and shot Lily a grin.

"See Evans, everything will be perfect," he sighed and led them back into the common room.

For most of the day James was actually right – everything was perfect, or at least nothing went wrong. The Gryffindors played a mixture of games, they went for a lovely dinner, neither James nor Sirius had consumed enough alcohol to be of a nuisance and they returned to their common room in total safety and high spirits. The point in which it turned was when Sirius challenged James to a drinking match. Frank and Alice (both prefects like Lily) were both anxious about this at first, but (similar again to the red head) they had given up a long time ago when it came to trying to control the marauders.

Everyone sat around the coffee table, James transfigured two shot glasses from quills, and they took it in turns to down the fire-whiskey. James had been laughing, telling everyone about how his parents always let him drink at parties, and when they were in France wine practically came out of the taps – whereas Sirius had grown up with the Blacks, who practically forced it upon him at family gatherings. Needless to say, the boys were fairly matched, as they were in most things. Frank joined in when Sirius slurred that he was a coward, and Alice had a glass or two. From apparently nowhere, James brought down some spiked butter beers for them to all share about, and in the end Lily was the only one without a drink.

Both boys took to their premature graves that they won this drinking match, though no one seems to remember at which point the game turned to just drinking and trying not to be sick. Despite her lack of alcohol, Lily was enjoying herself, laughing at a drunken Alice, telling Frank that she loved him. Mary became fairly emotional with her mix of butter beer and fire whiskey and started crying on Lily's shoulder about how she thought she was going to die alone. Naturally Lily calmed her and put her to bed with a nice glass of aguamenti water and returned to the smaller party. Alice was unconscious on the floor and Frank was kneeling besides her giggling.

"Alice is really… dr-unk," he hiccupped with a chuckle.

"So are you," Lily told him with a grin.

"No I am not! I am manly and can hold my loquoir," Frank stumbled, attempting to stand and face Lily. Sirius laughed from his viewpoint on the sofa.

"Loquoir?" Lily inquired. "What's that?"

"Booze!" Frank burped. His face dropped and he grabbed his head. "I think I'm going to go to bed,"

"I'll levitate Alice into Marlene's bed," Lily smiled and watched as Frank stumbled up the stone steps.

"Thanks. Lily, you and James…" Frank began in his drunken stupor.

"Are nothing, Frank," Lily assured him, hoping he wouldn't get violent.

"Why not? You're good," Frank snorted. "Alice and I are good, aren't we, Lil?"

"You and Alice are perfect, Frankie," James laughed, "Come on mate, I'll help you up stairs," James said, throwing Frank's arm around his shoulders and winking at Lily before he half-carried the other boy to his dorm. Lily had to use magic to levitate Alice to her own dorm , where she'd have company in the morning. When she returned, James and Sirius were talking in hushed voices. She cleared her throat to announce her presence and they looked up at her.

"Just the girl!" Sirius beamed. "Have you really broken up with me?"

"I'm not sure, Sirius – I don't want to talk with you about it when you're this drunk," Lily said, falling in the seat besides James. His eyes were misted over.

"Don't dump me, Lil! I'll be better," Sirius begged, he was lying with his feet over James. "I think… I'm gonna…" Sirius jumped up and sprinted clumsily to the dorm, where he tripped up the stairs trying to get into his dorm. Lily heard the sound of vomiting and laughed.

"Lily," James said, considerably less inebriated than the rest of the group. "Lily Evans,"

"James Potter," Lily said to him.

"Lily Potter," James smiled.

"Lily Evans," she corrected.

"Hush, you're ruining my image," James laughed. He had his eyes closed, which made Lily look at him – his dark eyelashes were touching the tips of his cheekbones, and his lips were perched in a content smile. His glasses were askew on his face. "You're looking at me," he told her – immediately she blushed and looked away. He'd known, despite having his eyes closed – it made her weary.

"You always look at me – I'm not allowed to look at you?" she asked him.

"Of course you are, it's just strange when you do," James informed her. His eyes fluttered open and met hers. "Gives me hope, you know?"

"No,"

"I think Sirius might be dead," the boy commented, sitting up dizzily and messing his hair. "What are you going to do about him?"

"No idea," Lily admitted sadly.

"I've got an idea," James grinned. "You and me? Strawberry fields forever and all that jazz,"

"James…"

"Hush – this is the last day I'm going to be able to convince myself you might want me. Don't ruin it – just one last day?" James begged; his eyes closed again, returning to whatever "image" he'd had before. His lips twitched into a smile. Lily left him to it, and sat staring at him and wondering what was behind the delicate eyelids. "Lily?" he asked, waking her from her musing.

"Yes, James?"

"You like me don't you?" he asked, staring at her now, watching her body language.

"Are you going to remember this in the morning?" she quizzed him, worried.

"Probably not," James admitted with a snort.

"Then yes. I do like you. But with OWLs and Sirius and Charlotte and Sev – we're a bad mix, together, Potter," Lily told him.

"Have you gotten into your present yet?" he inquired with a grin. She was used to his conversational tangents, but this one caught her unawares.

"No, I haven't," she laughed and pulled it from her pocket.

"You have to speak the password to it," James instructed her.

"Well, what's the password?" Lily asked, but James gave her a raised eyebrow in answer. Of course, he wanted her to guess. That was Classic Potter. Thinking for a second she realised that it hadn't been a conversational tangent. It was a continuation. "I love James Potter," she spoke clearly. The box did nothing. Looking up to James he shrugged.

"It doesn't work," James said glumly.

"Is it meant to open?" Lily asked.

"It'll open when you mean it," James informed her. "If you mean it,"

"You're asking me to love you?" scoffed Lily. "Love is a big thing, Potter,"

"It's a big gift," James admitted. "Let me know if it opens?" Lily nodded. "Tired?"

"Yes," she admitted. "Very,"

"Sleep with me?" James asked of her. Lily stopped dead.

"Potter, what the…" she demanded, but he obviously noticed how his request had sounded and stopped her.

"No! Not like that! Oh God! Lily, what's wrong with you?" he laughed, outraged.

"Me?" Lily hissed. "You're the one…"

"I meant as in… sleep… like, snoring, dreaming, maybe even spooning if you're feeling adventurous," James goaded. Lily thought about it – she could return to her own dorm where Alice and Mary were probably snoring or she could settle in besides James on the sofa with a blanket. She could allow herself one happiness, couldn't she? "Just sleeping, Lil. For the last night of hope?"

"Then… yes," Lily said, biting on her lip. His face burst into a grin, the likes of which she'd never seen. "I'll go get my blanket and some PJ's," she told him, jumping from the sofa and skipping upstairs. Attempting at silence, Lily wriggled into a thick pair of winter pyjamas and dragged her duvet and pillows from her bed. She even grabbed Emmeline's, just for comfort. When she got downstairs she saw James (already in his own red pyjama trousers) lying out his duvet on the floor near the fire. Wordlessly, Lily placed Emmeline's on top of that one, put the pillows out and the third duvet down. James smiled at her and they wiggled into the sheets and dimmed the lights.

At first they lay awkwardly side by side. Lily had actually shared a bed with Severus on several occasions when they were younger and he'd stayed at her house, and it had never been this awkward. But this was James – this was the Quidditch captain, who many girls would kill to be in Lily's place right then. She'd been kissing him only that morning and yet there was still the tentative knocking of elbows and feet. He was also topless, which probably didn't help her nerves. Eventually they turned side by side and face each other. James' eyes met her and he smiled – she only saw the firelight reflecting on his face. She fell asleep instantly.

When she woke in the morning his arm was wrapped around her and hers was thrown over his chest. Wriggling out from their bed whilst attempting not to disturb him, Lily sighed and stretched. It had just been one night – she tried to convince herself – just a few hours of sleeping next to him. It hardly meant anything. He already admitted he probably wouldn't remember the evening's events come morning, and she didn't feel like sticking around to see if he did or didn't. Quietly tip-toeing through her dormitory to change into a pair of jeans and a thick jumper, Lily wondered if James _would_ actually remember it. Half of her hoped he didn't.

Lily was the first person down at breakfast, but was quickly joined at the singular table by Barty – the Slytherin. At first he didn't seem too friendly and Lily wondered if he was one of the boys that Severus probably hung around with, but then he informed her that his father was Barty Crouch Senior and she pushed all thoughts of it from her mind – the elder Barty was so vehemently against the death eater movement that he'd have probably given his son to the dementors if there was any chance that he was involved with the Dark Arts.

"You're Snape's friend, aren't you?" Barty inquired from her.

"Yeah – Sev and I are friends," Lily smiled, trying not to give away any secrets on their hardly brilliant friendship.

"He's funny," Barty said. That was strange – Lily never really thought of Severus as a humorous character. Sometimes he would say something to make her laugh, but it was never something she'd describe him as. James was funny – Severus was… not. She wondered what jokes he told Barty that he didn't tell her. Probably the Japanese golfer joke – that joke always cracked her up.

"Yeah… did you hear the one about the Japanese golfer?" Lily grinned. Barty shook his head, so she told him. Naturally he burst out laughing – classic Japanese golfer.

"So you're muggle born?" Barty asked her with a bite of croissant. Lily nodded. "Why're you not with your family?"

"I don't much get on with my sister," Lily explained. "What about you? No Crouch Christmas?"

"My mother's ill – father thought it wouldn't be prudent for me to see her in such a state," Barty informed her. Lily's face softened.

"My dad's ill too. He's still in hospital," Lily told him.

"That's too bad," Barty said. The two were crowded around the croissant basket, and it was nearly empty. Lily pointed her wand at the basket, used a nifty spell she had learnt in her revision, and the basket was full of croissants once more. "That was awesome!"

"Thanks Barty," Lily smiled. Reginald Cattermole, the hufflepuff who was in her divination class, joined them, taking the seat to Lily's left. Lily smiled at him – they hadn't really spoken, but she had loaned him a quill once.

"Hullo Lily," Reginald greeted. "Bartemius isn't it?" Barty nodded.

"Hello Reg," Lily replied. "Good Christmas?"

"Not bad actually, though it was a bit lonely last night. I ended up reading the whole of Hogwarts: A History," Reginald joked.

"Oh! You're the only other person I've met that actually read it!" Lily exclaimed, happy to discuss the founding of the castle with the hufflepuff. Reginald however just laughed at her.

"Sorry Lily, I was joking – no one has read that," he chuckled.

"Did you tell the joke about the Japanese Golfer?" a light hearted voice asked as it sat to her right. Lily looked and saw James Potter wordlessly grabbing a piece of toast from the plate. "I assumed that's why you were laughing,"

"No – no, it wasn't quite that funny," Barty interjected. "Hullo James,"

"Hey Barty – how's your mum?" James asked, quite kindly. Lily was surprised – what did James have in common with the first year Slytherin that he'd know about the boy's mum.

"Mungo's have no idea what's up with her, so they just sent her home. Her and dad are having a quite Christmas," Barty told James. "You?"

"Oh, mum's great! She'll be sad that you won't be going to the new year's party though – you're probably the only one who will eat her biscuits," James joked. Lily stared at them incredulously.

"How do you two know each other?" Reginald asked.

"Who're you?" James questioned.

"Reginald Cattermole – you were my partner in potions for two terms last year," Reg informed him, blushing a little.

"Oh! You're that guy!" James noted. "Sorry about the whole… melting your cauldron thing," James apologized awkwardly.

"It's… fine," Reginald accepted.

"Well, Bartemius and I are blessed to be the wonderfully talented sons of some crazy ministry officials," James explained happily as he poured himself a glass of apple juice.

"In English?" Lily asked.

"Our parents are mates – they were invited to loads of parties, Barty and I would try and nick cake," James laughed. "Do you like cake, Lil?"

"Ermm… what?" Lily asked, completely confused by the question. It was a little random – plus everyone liked cake. In Lily's opinion anyone that didn't like cake was wholly strange. "I promise I won't remember if you tell me you like it," James winked. Mother of Merlin – he remembered. And this was his awful and jerkish was of informing her that he did. Of course he remembered – she chastised herself. He wasn't even very drunk and he seemed hangover-less.

"Yes I bloody well like cake, Potter. Everyone likes cake. A girl is allowed to like cake. Even people on diets like cake. I am going on a cake diet, effective immediately," she spat unhappily. Alice and Frank walked in – the latter seemed very, very ill. "Hey Frank, you look like you need some pepper-up potion," Lily laughed.

"Stop shouting," he groaned. "Why did I let you talk me into that, Potter?"

"Longbottom – you should be thanking me!" James chuckled. "Hey Alice,"

"Hey," Alice greeted and sat down at the small table. Lily noticed that she looked very well for someone as drunk as she had been last night. "I had a small vial of Pepper-up in my trunk," Alice informed her. "Mary's still sleeping,"

"Mary?" Reginald Cattermole squeaked. "Mary MacDonald?"

"Yes… why?" Lily asked.

"No reason – she just… helped me with my Care of Magical Creatures essay a while back…" Reginald blushed.

"Rupert fancies Mary!" James sung. "Rupert fancies Mary!"

"My head!" Frank moaned.

"My name is Reginald!" Reggie corrected the Quidditch captain. "And I don't fancy Mary!" but this time his face reddened further to the colour of Lily's hair. Everyone giggled (other than Frank who was too hung-over to understand, and Lily who didn't want to be so mean).

The flock of post was very small today, consisting of only two Owls. One of them was Lily's, the other was Barty's. However, Lily saw at once that something was wrong. There was something about the way Godric was flying that indicated that something had happened to him. She stood up and let the owl land on her arm, feeding it a corner of her croissant. He pecked at his gratefully, and let her inspect him. Removing the letter and putting it on the table, she checked his wings. James came over to her and helped her look over the owl. Finally they found the problem – there was a bend to the wing where there hadn't been before – Godric had broken his wing.

"He'll be okay, Lil," James assured her. "Let's take him down to Hagrid, he'll know what to do," and Lily nodded, knowing that it was the best thing to do in the situation. Leaving her half eaten breakfast where it was, Lily followed James quickly out through the Great Hall and then the large double doors and courtyard down to the grounds. Quickly (though not so much as to aggravate the owl) they headed towards the small cottage next to the forbidden forest, where James rapped on the door three times. The burly figure of Rubeus Hagrid opened the door, saw them and grinned.

"Oh Hello you two! I was just putting on some cakes!" he grinned happily, then spotted the owl, "What's wrong with that owl?"

"I don't know, Hagrid – but I thought if anyone would know, it'd be you," James flattered. "He delivered Lily a letter but his wing looks to be broken,"

"I left my letter in the hall!" Lily exclaimed.

"One second," James excused himself and walked over to the corner of the large room, when he faced the wall and started muttering to himself. When he returned he was smiling. "Sirius will get the letter for you,"

"How did you…?" Lily began, but Hagrid was fussing over Godric.

"This ain't no broken wing," Hagrid said glumly.

"Well, what is it?" James asked. "Is he okay?"

"I'm afraid not, James," the giant man bumbled. "He's very hurt,"

"Can you help him?" Lily inquired. "Is there anything we can do?"

"Sorry – no," Hagrid informed her sadly. "He ain't got long," Lily's heart sunk.

"You mean he…?" Lily stopped. She couldn't bear to think of it – apart from Severus, Godric had been the one friend whom she had started Hogwarts with. He was a reminder of her first visit to Diagon Alley, and he was her pet. She remembered how Petunia used to complain about his hooting, and he refused to let her have her letter unless she fed him. "Sorry," Lily said, her eyes glistening with tears.

"Don't be sorry, Lily!" James said, running over to her and hugging her. "It's okay,"

"I'm sorry, Lily," Hagrid told her as he enveloped her and James in his giant arms. There were huge tears forming in his eyes. "I can keep him comfortable, if you like?" Lily nodded.

"Thank you," she sobbed.

James left Lily and Hagrid baking cakes and attempting to make Godric's remaining life more comfortable. He had other business to attend – finding the last letter that the owl had delivered. A quick conversation with Sirius in the two way mirrors had informed James that the letter had been absent from the table when he'd finally breakfasted, and so James was going to track it down. He counted the people who were at the table – there had been Alice, Frank, Roger and Barty. James decided to try the Gryffindor's first, in case they had been attempting to return the letter to Lily later on.

The couple were down in the dungeons according to the marauder's unfinished map. Barty wasn't visible on the map due to his first year status (they really needed to fix that – now even second years were hidden from it), and Reginald was in his common room. James headed towards them, hoping that they were merely brewing a pepper-up potion for Longbottom. When he reached them, his hopes were found true, though he did knock very loudly on the door before entering. Alice had her head huddled over a brass cauldron which was steaming, and Frank was reading from a text book.

"Hey guys!" James smiled.

"Oh, hi Potter," Alice grinned, adding a gloopy substance to her cauldron. James wasn't very good with potions – Lily was the expert.

"You need to learn how to hold your drink, Longbottom," James laughed.

"Tell me about it," he groaned.

"So did either of you pick up the letter that Lily was sent?" inquired the fifth year. Alice and Frank both shook their head in a spookily similar manner.

"Nope, sorry Potter," Frank informed him. "I forgot about it,"

"That's okay," James said. "I'll see ya,"

"How's her owl?" Alice asked kindly as she mixed her cauldron.

"Not great – Hagrid said it's pretty much gone," he informed her sadly, nodded and left the room.

James decided he'd try Barty next as the boy had also received a letter and may have mixed them up. It was a hard job searching for the boy, as (according to the portrait near the entrance) he wasn't in his common room, but James eventually stumbled upon him in the library. Barty had always been a bit book-wormish. He was seated on an arm chair in the transfiguration section. Strutting towards him James called out a loud greeting, much to the dismay of Madam Price.

"Hey Barty!"

"James," the first year acknowledged. "What brings you to this part of the castle?"

"I'm on a quest," he informed the boy. "I'm looking for Lily's letter. Have you seen it?"

"Oh, no," Barty said, his eyes still intent on his book. "My mum wrote me though,"

"She misses me, doesn't she?" James joked. Mrs Crouch was a very lovely woman who loved attempting to flatten James' hair. She had done it from the moment he'd _had_ hair.

"She was just wishing me a Merry Christmas – her and father shan't be going to the Potter party, either, I'm afraid," Barty informed James sadly.

"Damn! Poor mum and dad! They'll have to entertain the aurors all by themselves! Have you heard of that Cornelius guy? He's a newbie at the ministry and keeps trying to suck up to dad. They say he wants to be the minister," laughed James. There were a hundred new employees a year at the ministry with similar intentions.

"Yeah, dad told me he's a dunderhead," Barty laughed. "Good seeing you Potter," he hinted, sending James on his way.

The last suspect was much harder to interrogate, as James wasn't aware of how to enter the Hufflepuff common room. Sirius had told him something about being doused in vinegar if he got it wrong, so he was a little put off from attempting entrance. The basement room was located near the kitchens, but in a small nook of the corridor, where a stack of barrels concealed the entrance. James knew he had to tap a certain barrel with his wand to a certain tune, but he wasn't sure of the details. James removed his wand and tapped the barrel two from the bottom, middle of the second row in the rhythm of the founder of the house – Helga Huffelpuff. With a sigh of relief a passage way was exposed allowing James down into the basement, to crawl through a hole in the wall. Sirius hadn't been lying about how to enter the room.

The actual common room itself was rounded and adorned in hundreds of flowers and herbs. It was sunny and yellow, stuffed with cosy armchairs and a huge carved fireplace. Randy must've been in his dormitory, James suspected, and headed towards the small tunnels which he assumed led to the dorms. At that moment however, Robert emerged from one of the tunnels, holding a big book called "One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi". He spotted James and his jaw dropped.

"You shouldn't be in here!" he exclaimed. "This common room hasn't been broken into in over a thousand years!"

"Oh Radcliffe, don't worry about it – I won't tell if you don't," James grinned.

"How…?" stuttered the boy.

"I'm James Potter – I can do anything," the boy laughed. "I also feel like a hobbit being sat in here,"

"What's a hobbit?" Reggie asked.

"You've never read Lord of the Rings?" James asked, shocked. Then again he had only read it at the word of Marlene – he rarely paid much heed to muggle literatures and music.

"What's that?" Reginald questioned.

"Marlene's granddad wrote it," James told the hufflepuff. "You should read it, it's great,"

"Who's Marlene?" he stuttered.

"Dumbledore reminds me of Gandalf – all bearded and brilliant," James continued obliviously.

"Why are you here?" Reginald exclaimed.

"Oh yeah!" James chuckled. "Have you seen Lily's letter?" the hufflepuff turned red.

"Lily's… letter?" he said, attempting to sound innocent. "I err…"

"Hand it over, Raymond," James threatened; anger in his eyes. Whimpering, Reginald removed a small envelope from the front of his book.

"I was going to return it!" he vowed. "I just wanted to do it at lunch… when Mary might be there,"

"You wanted an excuse to chat her up?" James laughed. "You weren't trying to steal the letter and read it?"

"No! I like Lily!" Reginald squeaked. "Honestly, I just wanted an excuse to say hi,"

"Why don't you just… you know… say hi?" James quizzed, confuse by his shyness.

"She'd cut me down," Reginald cried. "I've seen the guys she goes for,"

"You mean like Ulysses and that lot?" James asked – Reginald nodded. "When was the last time she went out with any of them?"

"I… er…"

"Ages! She doesn't like those guys anymore, Rolf," James calmed the other boy. "You should say hi,"

"Yes sir," muttered Reginald. "Sorry about the whole letter thing,"

"Don't do that again!" threatened James once more. "Right then, I'm going to go and return this to its rightful owner," James said, fanning himself with the envelope.

According to the map Lily was in her dormitory – he assumed that the worst had happened. Mary fetched her from her solitude and dragged her down to the common room, where she, James, Sirius and Alice fussed over her and they ate extraordinary amounts of chocolate frogs. James handed her the letter which she ripped open between random fits of tears. It was from her mother and cheered her up enough to allow James and Mary to goad her into coming down to lunch.

Though she was fairly despondent for a few days, Lily soon distracted herself (and much to their dismay) the others, with a heavy revision timetable. It consumed her so much so that she'd forgotten the entire Sirius/James incident, and when Severus and the rest of the school returned from their Christmas holidays she was totally unprepared as to what to tell them about her breakup. It was especially strange that they were still very close friends, as though nothing had actually changed.

Sometime in mid-January, when Lily was half way through reading her Defence against the Dark Arts textbook (that she hardly needed, due to her constant training sessions with Madam Devarius) Severus sought her out in the library.

"You're spending a lot of time in here recently," Severus said, stealing the seat opposite her. Lily looked up – she hadn't heard him approach.

"OWLs are coming," was her only answer.

"You're already more prepared than everyone else will be the day of the exams," Snape laughed. "What's keeping you in here?"

"Dad's back in hospital," Lily muttered. "Godric died. Potter is being Potter. Emmeline is constantly going on about how amazing Remus is. Marlene won't shut up about how Adam and she would have beautiful babies. I like to get away from it,"

"What about Black?" Severus asked.

"What about him?" she snapped.

"Shouldn't he be annoying you – the whole ex-boyfriend thing," Sev growled.

"He's fine," Lily answered. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. I was just curious," said Sev. "You know it's a full moon tonight?"

"Is it? How nice. I see you're really enjoying your astronomy," Lily quipped.

"And Lupin's in the Hospital Wing," Severus continued, ignoring Lily's distaste at the conversation matter. "Again,"

"Poor thing – I'll go check on him later," she replied.

"He's a…"

"I know all about your theories, Severus," Lily snapped. "And I don't care for them,"

"Lily! Hear me out! I saw them all coming in one morning after the full moon," he whispered loudly to her. There was very little concern for the rest of the student body finding out about Remus' condition and more concern for not getting thrown out by Madam Price.

"I don't care what you saw them do! You're being pathetic," hissed the red head. The Slytherin recoiled.

"Lily…"

"I don't want to hear it," Lily interrupted. "Can I continue with my reading or do I have to think of a hiding place where _you_ won't to be able to find me either?"

"Continue… sorry, I'll just…" Severus stuttered, stood up and left the library. Lily wanted to return to her book, but the second one annoying fifth year had left her proximity, another entered it.

"Evans!" James shouted across the room. "Sorry Madam, I'll be quite!" he hissed to the librarian. Skipping over to Lily with a grin spreading across his face, he took the newly vacated seat. "She loves me,"

"Obviously," Lily commented, looking at the woman glaring at the back of James' head.

"Hagrid wants to see you," James informed her.

"Why?" Lily asked, amazed at why the groundskeeper would want to see her.

"I think he wants to help you rear a baby dragon," James joked. "How ridiculous would that be?" he laughed.

"Not wholly unlikely, though," Lily noted. Ever since the death of Godric, she had frequented Hagrid's hut, as she found his company friendly and care free. Unless you counted having to avoid a number of disgusting magical creatures with every footstep as being not carefree – she did.

"I know – that's the worrying thing," James laughed. "Want me to come with you?"

"Why would I?" Lily snapped. James' face looked hurt, so she added, "Sorry, Severus was just…"

"I know, I saw him storming out of here looking like you'd bitten his head off," chuckled the boy.

"He is suspicious about Remus," Lily told James as she packed her bag with her books and revision notes. "He put two and two together,"

"You didn't confirm it, did you?" James demanded.

"Of course not, Potter. Remus is my friend too," Lily reminded him. She slung her bag over her shoulder and followed James out of the library – much to Madam Price's happiness.

"Just making sure," James assured her. "Look, I know you've been upset about a load of stuff lately, and that Godric was the icing on the cake, but Hagrid and I are going to cheer you up. I promise!"

If the vow from James Potter hadn't been worrying enough, the fact that Hagrid was leading them into the forbidden forest was definitely something to give her anxiety issues. No matter how much she implored for some information as to where they were going Hagrid would merely assure her that they weren't going _too_ deep. She wondered if he was going to lead her to the alleged pack of centaurs in the woods. All of her questions were answered, however, when Hagrid came across a large wooden crate, knelt down and removed a small creature from it. He grinned at her through his massive beard and handed her the animal.

It was a ginger cat.

Lily took it with a curious smile. She looked at James who was simply grinning as widely as Hagrid. The cat was cute – she had to admit – it was a lot smaller than it originally looked, because of the amount of fluff that covered its body. Petting the cat, Lily smiled.

"Why do you have a cat in a crate?" Lily asked of Hagrid.

"James was in detention with me a few weeks ago, and we came across half of the body of a wild cat," Hagrid explained. "We searched the forest for its family (cause it's baby season, see) and found a litter of five kittens. James suggested we wait until they were well enough trained and give you one – since you didn't have an owl anymore,"

Lily looked down at the cat, who was purring like a machine, and cuddling into her arms. She smiled, realising what James had meant by cheering her up – this kitten was the cutest thing she'd ever seen. Running over to James she pulled him into a one armed thankful hug, careful not to hurt the cat. It licked her hand absentmindedly.

"Oh James! That's really kind of you," Lily said. "Thank you Rubeus!"

"Oh not at all," he blushed beneath his beard. "Anything to make you happy again,"

"What're you going to call it? I think James might be a good name for him," James laughed.

"It's a boy?" she asked of Hagrid, who nodded. "Ringo – he's called Ringo,"

"Ringo? You can't name the cat Ringo!" James exclaimed. "Ringo is by far the worst Beatle there is!"

"Don't be silly – Ringo is the best," Lily said with a smile as she cooed the kitten. "Ringo is his name,"

"I'm so glad you're not my mother – you'd probably have called me Joubert," James sulked. "Ringo?"

"I like it, do you like it Ringo?" the cat continued to purr. "See, he likes it,"

"You've ruined his life. All of the other cats are going to laugh at him," James informed her.

"Come on now James, at least she's happy," Hagrid rationalised, and led them back out the forest. "Mind you, he might be a little bit crazy – he's a wild thing after all,"

"Maybe James _would've_ been better," Lily thought with a grin.

Sirius was looking for James (who had the map) when he bumped into a furious looking Severus Snape. The marauder wondered what curse to use on the boy, when he started talking.

"I know about your furry little friend," Severus snarled.

"Oh, Snivellus – that's not a very romantic way to put it," Sirius joked.

"I meant Lupin – I know," Snape said; an unhappy grin on his face. Sirius' smile dropped.

"I don't know…"

"What I'm talking about? Yes you do. I'm going to prove it," Snape hissed. "Tonight,"

"Tonight you say? Do you even know where he goes?" Sirius goaded. Snape's triumphant gleam in his eyes dimmed.

"Tell me," Snape threatened with his wand pointed at Sirius. The marauder laughed.

"Or what? You'll curse me. Do it – let's see how happy Lily is about that," Sirius laughed.

"Don't talk about her," Snape growled.

"I've kissed her Snivells, I can talk about her if I want to," Sirius taunted.

"Shut up," Snape said, enclosing on Sirius. "You unworthy…"

"Unworthy? Boy oh boy, you've been talking to my mother," Sirius joked.

"Regulus, actually. He thinks you're a blood traitor too," Snape snapped. "He told me about how you guys were best friends, and how you're just a stupid mudblood loving fag,"

"Fag? Do you want me to ask Lily if _she_ thinks I'm gay, Sevvie? She knows…" Severus punched him in the face. He felt it, but barely. "Is that all you have? You're going to have to punch me a lot harder than that,"

"I could hurt you," Severus growled.

"You already did," there was a snap of victory in Snape's eyes until Sirius said, "You called Lily a mudblood," suddenly it dawned on him what he'd said. The shock hit him harder than Sirius ever could.

"Regulus wants to kill Potter, you know? He wants to take his wand to the boy – crucio to begin with, torture him into hating you. Then he'll kill him," Snape remarked. "He'll kill your best friend," anger shook through the boy. No one would hurt James – especially not Regulus – if Sirius could help it. He considered hexing Snape into a coma, but a better thought struck him.

"Annoy me all you like, you'll never find out about the knot to get into the whomping willow," Sirius said, and then grabbed his mouth as though he'd said too much.

"The whomping willow! Of course – it was planted the year we started!" Severus exclaimed. "Thanks Black!"

Sirius was laughing when he returned to the common room. Lily was sat with the girls by the fireplace with a tiny lion. He was about to go and say hi, when James appeared at the stairwell.

"Oi, Padfoot – where've you been?" James asked. "Mooney's gone already,"

"He's not the only one," Sirius laughed hysterically. James didn't understand the joke.

"What?" he asked.

"Snivellus! I told him," breath "where Remus will be," breath "and he wants to go," breath "catch him in his wolfy activities," breath. Punch. For the second time that hour Sirius felt a fist to the face, only this time it was a punch with conviction. "What was that for?"

"Are you fucking kidding me, Black?" James shouted. "Please tell me you're joking,"

"It's funny…"

"No! It's really not – please tell me that Severus Snape doesn't know where to go tonight?" James begged. Sirius' nose was bleeding – possibly broken.

"It's not a big deal," Sirius laughed.

"I can't…" James started – his eyes were wide. Looking over at Lily he saw her cuddling Ringo (still a stupid name). How would she act if Severus was mauled to death? How would Remus feel if he did that to someone? How could Sirius be so brain dead? James sprinted up the stairwell, ripped the door to his dormitory open and rifled through his mess to find the marauders map. He spoke the words to the parchment and scoured it for Severus Snape. Sure enough, the boy was near the herbology greenhouses – a place in full view of the whomping willow.

James grabbed his wand and stormed down through the common room past Sirius, flew through the Fat Lady's portrait without shutting it and sprinted down every shortcut he knew until sprinting towards the Whomping Willow. According to the map, Severus Snape had found the knot in the tree. Running forwards, he dodged a heavy branch that started at him. His Quidditch playing helped his reflexes, but normally Peter was able to stop the tree before either he or Sirius entered the passage way. Now he was on his own. He took out his wand and skipped over a sweeping arm. Levitating a rock, he threw it at the right point of the tree, just as one of its angry branches made contact with his chest.

He was forced backwards – landing on his back, he jumped up, ignoring the aching pain in most of his muscles and surged through the small hole in the roots. Lumos lit his way, and he sprinted, calling out "SNAPE!" as he went. There was no sign of the other boy. James checked his watch – he had about six minutes until the moon was high in the sky, and the change would happen. The thought pushed him on.

Remus sat in the empty room and gazed at the clock – six minutes left. He carefully removed his jacket and his robes, folding them neatly and leaving them stacked on the sofa – he didn't want to ruin his clothes, and though it was slightly chilly he didn't feel a thing. The lycanthrope curse was like a fever, heating him from the inside out. Five minutes. He heard a knocking, it was the trap door. His breath caught in his mouth and he saw who it was – not James, Sirius or Peter, but Severus Snape.

"Lupin!" he called out triumphantly. "You're… naked?" Remus threw his hands over his area.

"Erm, Snape… I like to… experiment in naturism," Remus lied. "You should go. Now. Run,"

"Why? Are you going to…" Four minutes.

"SNAPE," a familiar yet distant voice yelled through the trap door. James was coming.

"Go!" Remus demanded. "Please!"

"No! I want proof that you are…" Severus started, but he yelped as James appeared through the trap door.

"Snape, get down into the passageway now!" James ordered, his eyes more focused than Severus though possible of the boy. "Now!" Three minutes. Remus' head was growing drowsy.

"No," Snape refused. James held out his wand. "Not until you admit what he is,"

"You will find out first hand if you don't leave – and if that happens, you shan't ever leave – so just stop being an idiot and GET IN THE PASSAGEWAY!" Something about the way Remus was shaking and retching must've been a give-away, because Snape's body changed. He turned to James and jumped through the trap door.

James ran to Remus – less than a minute now. His bones were stretching and his muscles changing – the entirety of his human form falling away and ripping into that of the wolf. In the blink of an eye, James had become Prongs. The Stag and the Wolf stared at each other – the latter with hunger on his mind. James ran around the shack with Remus, wearing him out and stopping him from harming himself – all the while his thoughts were on Snape. He needed to stop him before he got to the castle. Prongs galloped into the upper room, which was somewhat unsteady and trapped Remus in the master bedroom. He returned to human form and sprinted down the stairs, making his way towards the trap door.

Above him the wolf ripped through the door and hurtled towards him – following the smell of his racing pulse. James fumbled with the latch for the door. His fingers caught it and pulled, but a second too late – the wolf had entered the room and spotted him. James dropped down into the passageway and ran – at some point between sprinting and galloping Prongs had returned. It was harder to see this way but he ran on. At the end of the passageway James became human again and crawled from the tree, knocking the knot that would still it as he went. Across the lawn James could see the greasy silhouette of Severus Snape running towards the castle. James sprinted faster than the bookish boy, but not as fast as the wolf that approached behind him.

Remus tackled James to the floor, and it was only his status as an animagi that saved him. Prongs came to life again and forced the wolf from him. He struggled to stand, but did so and chased Remus towards Snape.

Lily was searching for Ringo. Sirius had chased out of the common room behind the seething James Potter, and both of them had failed to close the portrait hole. Ringo had followed excitedly, and before she had noticed the kitten was out of sight. She'd searched the entire floor for the cat but with no luck – now she was in the entrance hall with nothing to account for it. If she was caught out of bed she'd have no excuse.

She saw movement through the window – three figures chasing around the grounds – Lily assumed it was Remus, James and Sirius with Peter somewhere nearby as a rat. Wishing to see the animagi marauders just once, Lily decided to take a break from cat-hunting. It was when she approached the window that she saw Severus running with fear towards her. Pushing open the double doors light streamed onto the lawn.

Snape screamed her name, just as a huge brown figure intercepted him. Behind the wolf a stag stormed towards the pair. Lily rushed forwards spotting Remus ripping at Severus' throat. She did the first thing that came to mind – James needed time to catch up with them – Lily howled. At once the wolf looked up and spotted her – it dived forwards – Lily pulled her wand out and attempted a stunning spell that missed. James reached Remus just as he pounced for her. His antlers pushed against the wolf forcing it down. Lily watched as the wolf scratched at James. She screamed a full body bind, and it made contact with the wolf. He was only put off for a minute – but it was long enough for James to recover, stand up and allow the wolf to chase him into the forest. Lily watched them go – worry eating at her – was it always this dangerous? And where were Sirius and Peter?

Realising that Severus was still lying flat on his face on the wet grass, Lily headed forwards and checked his pulse – he was just unconscious. She rolled him over so that she was able to check him for wounds – there was a small amount of blood, but she healed the small scratched instantly, hoping that if no damage was done then Remus shouldn't be blamed. A thought came to her – should she obliviate him? James would know what to do, but he was probably galloping all around the forest at this point. A shadow came from the light of the hall way.

"What is this?" McGonagall exclaimed. "Students on out of bed! Miss Evans, surely… what's happened to him?" McGonagall spotted Severus' body and rushed forwards – she was wearing a nightgown and slippers, but it didn't stop her.

"Remus…" Lily attempted to explain, wondering what kind of trouble they would all be in.

"How did Remus get here?" McGonagall asked of anyone, aware of what Lily meant when she said Remus.

"I don't know Professor; I was simply looking for my cat," Lily muttered, wondering if Ringo was okay. Hopefully he hadn't trekked into the forest.

"Is he hurt?" McGonagall questioned, fussing over his body.

"No Professor, James Potter saved him,"

"What on Earth…." She quizzed as a tiny black figured stumbled through the trees and fell down. Lily was up at once, leaving a shouting McGonagall behind her. She sprinted in a way that Marlene and James himself would have been proud of, her wand lighting her way. His body was bloody and unconscious when she got to him. She healed as many of the smaller scratches as she could and used aguamenti to clean some of the wounds. It didn't count as proper medical work, but it might help. She picked him up (though he was a lot heavier than herself) and carried him back to the Professor who gave her a stern look.

"Miss Evans that was completely… oh Merlin, is he dead?" she asked looking at James. Lily hadn't actually checked his pulse, so she lay him down and did so.

"No, he's alive – just unconscious," Lily told her. "We need to get them to the Hospital wing,"

Lily levitated James and McGonagall Severus to the infirmary, where Healer Holloway howled with disbelief. It was a familiar scene – the pair magically transporting the unconscious to the hospital and the Healer going crazy at what had taken place.

"Why is it that you're always the one left to clean up the mess, Miss Evans?" the healer asked as he tended to a nasty gash across James' chest. She had a funny feeling it would leave a scar.

"I suppose I'm just better than the others," Lily joked nervously. "I'm a survivor,"

"So I see – so do you care to tell me how both of these boys ended up hospitalised?" McGonagall asked her again.

"Honestly I don't know – My owl died on boxing day and Hagrid felt bad for me, so he gave me a cat, but James ran out of the common room really, really fast and Ringo followed him. Ringo is the cat. So I went searching for Ringo, he's a kitten, I didn't want him to get scared on his own, and I saw movement on the lawn, so I went to see what it was, and Remus was chasing James and Severus. I did a werewolf howl to distract it, and James stopped it from attacking me. It attacked him, so I tried a full body bind, which only worked for a second. Then James ran into the forest and let it chase him. You found me just as I was trying to wake Severus," Lily explained.

McGonagall went mad at this. Lily couldn't understand half of what she was saying, but she did make out the occasional "totally dangerous," "You know about his condition," "the Shack," "door open," "Severus outside in the first place?" but she took a breath. "Saying that… it seems you may have saved three people's lives tonight, Evans, and as such I implore you to think about the auror programme. Madam Devarius has been telling me about your lessons and how brilliantly you're doing,"

"Thank you, Professor?" Lily wondered, unsure if she was in trouble or not.

"Severus will be okay – he's simply suffering from shock. Potter will… heal," McGonagall said. "We shall need to wake him to question him about the evening's activities,"

Lily waited in the hospital wing as Healer Holloway healed James up good and proper. Some of the marks wouldn't be able to be magically healed, because they were too deep. McGonagall renervated him, and quizzed him on the events on the night. After about half an hour she stormed from the room muttering darkly about Sirius Black. Lily assumed she must've forgotten about her, and went behind James' curtain.

"Evans! Why the hell were you there tonight?" James demanded angrily.

"Why… why was I there? I saved your bloody life, Potter!" she retorted, anger rising.

"And you nearly got your-bloody-self killed in the process!" he shouted.

"Excuse me?"

"Howling like a werewolf? Do you have a death wish or something?" he asked furiously.

"Oh, I'm sorry that I stopped Remus from devouring Severus whole. I'm sure he'd love to wake up and have that on his conscience," she hissed at him.

"He'd have been damn more upset if it was you!" James shouted.

"Why the bloody hell was Severus there anyway?" Lily demanded.

"You're blaming me for your stupid boyfriend being more suicidal than you? I tell you what, next time you can both jump off the astronomy tower!" snapped James. "At least then my best friend wouldn't think he's a bloody monster," Lily recoiled. It had been a while since she and James had shouted at each other, but even when they did fight it was never this vicious. He'd told her to jump off the astronomy tower!

"This is a place of healing! Not shouting!" Holloway bellowed, coming around the corner of the curtain. He spotted James glaring angrily at Lily, and her looking both enraged and hurt. "Miss Evans I really think you should go,"

"Don't worry – I was going to pop to the astronomy tower for a few minutes," Lily spat and walked from the room. "See you soon, Holloway,"

James lay in bed looking at the ceiling for hours. The Healer had offered him a range of sleeping potions, but he had denied all of them. Somewhere in the forest Remus was going to wake up alone and wondering what on earth he'd done the previous night. Somewhere in the castle Sirius Black thought that killing Snape would have been funny. They mightn't get along, but sending him to his death was a bit extreme. Somewhere (hopefully not the astronomy tower) Lily Evans thought he wanted her dead.

Sirius had found an empty dungeon hours earlier and shut the door on himself. It was only when he heard a clawing at the door did he walk over and open it, to let in the little lion that Lily had been petting earlier. He thought that felt like a lifetime ago – telling Potter about Severus. The look of disapproval on his best friend's face was painful to recall. He sat in the corner of the cold room, petting the furry animal and making it purr.

"At least you like me, eh?" Sirius joked to the cat.

It must've been about 2am when there was another knock at the door. Worry boiled in Sirius' stomach – would James shout at him again? But when the door opened, the figure of Albus Dumbledore stepped inside with a grim smile.

"I see you found Ringo," Dumbledore noted at the purring. It echoed against the stone walls.

"Ringo?"

"The cat – Miss Evans named him Ringo. Good name," Dumbledore mused and stepped forwards. He removed a small object from his robes and clicked it – the dungeon illuminated with light. Sirius looked up at the man, he looked sad. "Mr Potter informed us of your actions,"

"He did, did he?" Sirius asked angrily. James had become a snitch.

"After the healer fixed him up, yes," Dumbledore said.

"James is in hospital?" Sirius exclaimed sitting up and disturbing Ringo's sleep.

"He and Mr Snape were caught by a wolf," Dumbledore informed him. "Luckily Miss Evans managed to help James distract the wolf from digesting the Slytherin,"

"So no harm done?" Sirius tried.

"On the contrary. Mr Snape may be aware of Mr Lupin's condition, and may wish to inform the entire school of it. As I am aware Remus didn't want anyone to know. Also, the life of Mr Snape was seriously jeopardised, and had James not somehow controlled Mr Lupin, he might be dead. James took a great risk upon himself to save Mr Snape, which is a great show of character. No man will allow…"

"His equal to leave? I know – you told me last year," Sirius muttered. "Am I going to be expelled?"

"Do you think you deserve to be?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes – if Remus had hurt anyone… he'd hate me," Sirius said. "I'll go pack my bags,"

"Not so fast. You understand that your actions are far from excusable. You must face the consequences. However, I do not believe that expulsion is necessary. Mr Potter was quick to stop Professor McGonagall sending you home," the old man informed him. Sirius jumped up.

"He was?"

"Yet each man kills the thing he loves, by each let this be heard. Some do it with a bitter look, some with a flattering word. The coward does it with a kiss, the brave man with a sword!"

"Excuse me?"

"You will face detention – a letter home, and you must apologize to Mr Snape," Dumbledore instructed him. "Fifty points are to be taken from you for such reckless behaviour. And you really should be in bed right now,"

"Is that all?" Sirius gasped.

"You must also attend one of Professor Slughorn's parties. He is insistent that you join his _collection_," Dumbledore told him. Sirius nodded – that was punishment enough.

"Thank you, Professor," Sirius said, his head bowed.

"Mr Potter has also requested you not be allowed to his bed," Dumbledore said sadly. Sirius' face dropped. "Sirius…?"

"Yes sir?"

"Things are never irreparable," Dumbledore told him.

"What about Voldemort? Is he able to be fixed?"

"Alas – I don't have the wisdom to answer that question, Mr Black," Dumbledore said. "To bed,"

A month had passed since James Potter somehow ended up in the Hospital wing with Severus Snape. Though many people had guessed about what had happened, they were all so far from the truth it was laughable. Some assumed they were fighting over Lily – it was probably the most accepted idea. Some thought they just hated each other. When James refused to speak to Sirius it came out that they'd been having a big-gay-fight, which most people laughed about. All that they knew was that something had gone seriously wrong, and it was Sirius Black who had to pay for it.

Still moodily ignoring the ex-marauder, James would eat with Remus (who was just as angry) and Peter, whilst Sirius would either eat alone or with Lily. Her continued friendship with Sirius only added to James' anger at her, and as a result of which they hadn't spoken since the night of the incident. Severus had been unconscious by the time he'd seen the wolf, and so didn't have any solid proof of Remus' condition – though he hated James more than ever.

After one particularly gruelling Herbology lesson Lily and Snape were walking back to the castle. Severus was asking her to join him and some of his Slytherin friends at the next Hogsmeade trip. Emmeline would be with Remus, Sirius wasn't allowed to go, and everyone but she and Mary had a date. They decided that it would just be the two of them, on a girly date. Her rejection of Severus had enraged him, and he'd been bugging her about it for days.

"… thought we were supposed to be friends?" Snape was saying. "Best friends?"

"We are, Sev, but I don't like some of the people you're hanging around with! I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev? He's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary McDonald last year?" Severus was planning on meeting up with the boys in Hogsmeade, since he hadn't seen them since their expulsion.

Lily had reached a pillar and leaned against it, looking up into the thin, sallow face.

"That was nothing," said Snape. "It was a laugh, that's all –"

"It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny –"

"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" demanded Snape. His colour rose again as he said it, unable, it seemed, to hold in his resentment.

"What's Potter got to do with anything?" said Lily. Any mention of James made her angry nowadays.

"They sneak out at night. There's something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?" Severus asked, the knock to the head jumbling his thoughts.

"He's ill," said Lily. "They say he's ill –"

"Every month at the full moon?" said Snape.

"I _know_ your theory," said Lily, and she sounded cold. "Why are you so obsessed with them, anyway? Why do you care what they're doing at night?"

"I'm just trying to show they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are." He said. The intensity of his gaze made her blush.

"They don't use Dark Magic, though," She dropped her voice. 'And you're being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there –" she conveniently left out her own involvement in the incident.

Snape's whole face contorted and he spluttered, "Saved? Saved? You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends' too! You're not going to – I won't let you –"

"Let me? Let me?" Lily demanded; her bright green eyes were slits. Snape backtracked at once.

"I didn't mean – I just don't want to see you made a fool of – he fancies you, James Potter fancies you!" The words seemed wrenched from him against his will. "And he's not … Everyone thinks … Big Quidditch hero –" Snape's bitterness and dislike were rendering him incoherent, and Lily's eyebrows were travelling further and further up her forehead.

"I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag," she said, cutting across Snape. "I don't need you to tell me that. But Mulciber and Avery's idea of humour is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them,"

"So you're not coming with us?" Snape asked sadly.

"No, I am not – I'm going with Mary," Lily informed him.

"You'll end up with Potter – you always do," he muttered darkly.

"So what? You have no say in whom I spend my time with Severus! If I want to spend time with Potter, I will spend time with Potter. If I want to marry him, I bloody well will! But I do not like the boy – he's an idiot, and I dislike his company. Your own prejudices aside…"

"You don't dislike my company, Evans," James' cruel voice taunted from behind her. "What did you tell me? Oh… I think I forgot… oh, wait, no I didn't!" she stormed off, but he followed her. "I seem to recall you really liked my company on Christmas Eve,"

"What happened on Christmas Eve?" Snape asked.

"What didn't happen – if you know what I mean?" James laughed with a wink. Remus looked sad beside him; Peter trailed just as miserably behind. With Sirius gone the marauder humour had been nothing but bitter.

"Lily, what happened?" Snape asked again.

"Nothing happened," Lily swore.

"You're right – because you were with Sirius at the time. Merlin forbid anyone think Lily Evans two-timed. That'd make her somewhat interesting!" James shouted after her. Lily turned on her heel and stormed towards him. He stumbled backwards, a little scared as she drew out her wand.

"Shut your stupid face, Potter," she growled. "Or I'll push you off the astronomy tower myself,"

Lily entered potions feeling more than a little bit angry. Severus was acting funny with her, because he thought she'd been off having orgies with Sirius and James and she'd refused to correct him. Having arrived early, they sat in silence for ten minutes, before the rest of the class began to show up. James came in bragging about some seventh year girl he was going on a date with, and Sirius hadn't shown up. When Slughorn walked in demanding they turn to page 289 he spotted Lily's despondent face.

"Are you feeling okay, Lily?" he whispered to her in a kindly voice. She nodded.

"Yes sir, thank you," she replied unconvincingly.

"Hmm… right," Slughorn pondered. "Change of plan, class! We're going to have a competition," the class groaned. "You will each make me a potion of your choice, and the best and most interesting will win a special vial of something magical!" Slughorn announced. Lily perked up – she loved having free reign at potions. Flicking through her text book she decided to make a Euphoric Elixir. Lily spent the lesson ignoring Severus brewing some form of poison, as she added the different ingredients into the cauldron and let them simmer. Eventually it came out sunflower yellow, and smelt like bubblegum. Lily was pretty pleased with how it had turned out.

Slughorn came around the class, congratulating each student on their concoction. Whilst Remus had brewed a small love potion, James had apparently made blue soup – something which, if consumed, would literally do nothing but probably make you feel slightly ill. Emmeline had turned dizzy trying at an aging potion, and Marlene had successfully created Murtlap Essence. No real interest was shown until Severus' frothing blue liquid, which was apparently the perfect brew of the Draught of Living Death and seemingly the most likely candidate to win the special vial. That was of course, until he approached Lily's desk and looked into her cauldron.

"Euphoric Elixir – very good!" Slughorn congratulated, "Perfect colourings, brilliant smell – great consistency… but does it work?"

"I… don't know sir," Lily admitted. He grinned at her.

"Take a spoonful," he instructed her. This was very odd as students were rarely allowed to actually try out their own potions. He must've sensed her dis-ease. "If it poisons you I'm sure I have a cure around here somewhere,"

"That's reassuring," Lily lied. Dipped her silver spoon into the liquid, she grabbed a healthy dosage and brought it up to her mouth. The second it touched her lips she knew it had worked. Her nose twitched heavily.

"It worked all right," he beamed. Lily wondered what he was talking about just as she felt the rising of laughter in her throat. Her face lit up as her nose twitched again.

"Is her nose meant to be doing that?" Emmeline questioned.

"An unavoidable side effect of the euphoria is nose twitching and…" Slughorn started. Lily interrupted him with an operatic rendition of the words:

"EXCESSIVE SONG SINGING!" she sang. The class burst into laughter, and she couldn't help but join in. She was feeling great – only half an hour ago she'd been upset about something, but that barely countered into the equation now. She was happy as can be.

"Indeed," Slughorn chuckled. "Well then I suppose that there is just one winner for this little competition… Lily, you have won a vial of Felix Felicis,"

"Liquid Luck?" James exclaimed, surprised from the back of the classroom. He'd been moping around, ignoring the hubbub of Lily's fantastic skills.

"Yes Mr Potter – Liquid Luck is a potion that simply makes one lucky. There are rules that go along with this – don't take too much of it – it'll make you go a wee bit barmy. Strictly not to be used in any game, competitive or otherwise – never to be used during exams or tests of any kind. Is that understood Miss Evans?"

"Oh my Merlin! Thank you, Sir!" she giggled, took the vial, packed her bags and skipped out of the dungeons, happily headed to the Great Hall.

That evening the effects of the euphoria had worn off – which was somewhat of a relief that she would stop singing randomly, and then have to have Marlene explain to McGonagall about her fits of singsong. Severus hadn't spoken to her since, though she barely cared. He always seemed to be shouting at her or insulting the things or people she cared about. She was almost getting sick of it. To her, it was as though he attempted to make her miserable – but luckily she had a potion to knock her out of it today. Which reminded her – she needed to find a way to thank Professor Slughorn for noticing her plight in the lesson, and giving her a fun activity; also the permission to try her potion.

It struck her when Ringo pounced in covered with petals from the herbology gardens. There was an orange one which she supposed was a fish, but as she cleaned him off she found it not to be true. That evening she sat down and thought through her magic abilities. There was no transfiguration spell that she was aware of that would be able to do it – James would know, she thought glumly to herself. If not he'd probably search through the library until he was able to impress the world with how bloody fantastic at everything he is. About that Severus was right. Plus he was being an utter git, and she didn't know what she'd done wrong. She wondered if she could ask Sirius about the spell, but figured that he probably wasn't in the mood to facilitate her in being what he called "a teacher's pet".

Skimming her brain took longer she thought – she wondered about the animal to object transfiguration that she'd been doing in the past year, but nothing particular came to mind. Lily thought about Ophelia and how Severus had taught her to harness her powers – then she thought of her own skills in charms. Maybe she could invent a spell to have the same effect as a transfiguration. At first she managed to turn the petals into the shape of a fish – and then to look identical to one, but they were never alive. She needed the fish to have life – though that wasn't something you could magically create. It took her ten minutes to realise she could have the life force come from a living being with a little tweaking of the spell; her own life force would hardly be effected – fish are so small. Eventually she cast the charm and once she looked upon the petal it burst to life and swam around.

Grinning, she put the living goldfish in the sink, emptied the bowl she'd transfigured from an old butterbeer bottle, and placed one of the petals from her everlasting-Lily into it. As the rest of the student body went to lunch, Lily headed for the dungeons, placing the bowl on Professor Slughorn's desk and running from the room. When he would walk in and happen upon the bowl, the petal would burst to life, and a small fish would take its place. It was just a small act – but she hoped it was thanks enough for being kind to her that day.

Many years later, Professor Slughorn would return home and find Francis' bowl empty just as he had found it full on that day – 31 October 1981. There was no doubt in his mind how the fish had disappeared, and it broke his heart to be right. Francis had been the result of making Lily smile, and that had been a prize enough as a thank you.


	10. Chapter 10 A Stag in the Headlights

**10. A Stag in the Headlights**

With the sun and warm air came the looming presence of their OWLs, and following _that_ their future outside of Hogwarts. A few weeks before the exams started Professor McGonagall announced that every Gryffindor student would be meeting with her to discuss their future prospects. This would be regarding what subjects they wish to continue with in the next year, and even what they would be doing when it came to working in the real world. The majority of the Gryffindors were dreading this, as none of them had a clue what they wanted to do. Some people had a vague idea about something, but when they were sat listening to Alice and Frank talking about their commitment to the auror programme everyone felt shamed. The sixth years had wanted this since their first year, and they as fifth years couldn't even make up a _lie_ about what they wanted to do.

Unwillingly, they were each called to her office at some point during the week; a process which would occur in alphabetical order. Sirius was sent for first, and had apparently expressed his will to start a day-care centre for muggle children. McGonagall had allegedly lectured him on taking his studies seriously, and how if he applied himself, there might be a chance that he may make something of his life rather than spending the rest of it in Azkaban. This he had relayed to the girls who were all curious as to what the meeting would actually entail.

Lily was next, which was a relief to her. Her own meeting was short – when Lily admitted an interest in the auror programme, to which McGonagall congratulated her, assured her she would be brilliant for it, and advising her to continue with everything bar divination. That thought was laughable to Lily, who wouldn't have kept divination as a subject if it was the only way to get a job for the rest of her life. To Lily, divination was pointless and could barely constitute as magic. After the meeting, Lily sympathised with Sirius when he had complained about the nagging questions that people kept posing to him. Mary, Marlene and Emmeline were all begging to know what McGonagall would ask them, in case they needed to make up answers beforehand.

Professor McGonagall was shocked at one particular interview. Whereas she and Remus discussed the difficulties particular to his condition, she attempted to convince Charlotte that there were better ways of surviving than marrying for money. Peter Pettigrew admitted his long term passion for Care of Magical Creatures, Marlene and Mary both had no idea what they wanted to do – Donna Shacklebolt wanted to write books, but none of this bemused her as much as the answer that James Potter gave.

"So what do you want to do with your future Potter, or need I ask?" McGonagall questioned.

"Well, there's not a lot I can't do," the boy joked. "And in all honesty I don't need to work – family fortunes exist for a reason, professor,"

"But where are you headed? I'm assuming Quidditch is still where your heart is?" she asked, taking minimal notes on a spare piece of parchment.

"Well, actually professor, I was wondering what one might have to take at NEWT level to be accepted into the auror training? I'm aware that Frank and Alice are headed that way, and they've encouraged me," James explained.

"Really? Potter… that's – you'd make a fine Quidditch captain, but also a fine auror," McGonagall grinned. "Though you _will_ have to start concentrating on your work,"

"Professor, I am appalled. When have I ever seemed lax in my studies?" James laughed as the woman shot him a look of disbelief. "I know, Professor – I'll buck up,"

"And you're serious about this new direction?" McGonagall questioned.

"Deadly. Maybe one day when the war is over I'll become the captain of the Quidditch team – I just figured I should do my bit first," confirmed the boy. McGonagall smiled at him and opened her mouth to say something, but he interrupted her, "Just, don't tell anyone about this change of heart, right?"

She considered him. "You're a strange boy," the professor said with a tight grin. "But fine, your secret's safe with me Potter," she nodded for him to leave.

Remus Lupin had left his meeting with his Head of Gryffindor House feeling a strange sense of calm reasoning. Of course, being the rational boy he was 90% of the time, it was unsurprising that he'd managed to allow logic to dictate his following actions – that and the chat he'd had with Professor McGonagall. They had both known that his situation was somewhat dissimilar to his classmates, as the likelihood of him becoming an auror, or a healer, or a teacher were very limited – no one would hire a werewolf. Instead they'd ignored that topic and taken to discussing his situation, and the incident that had occurred with Severus Snape.

"James, Peter and I have been distant from Sirius for a while now. My own reasoning is obvious – he betrayed my trust – I could have… the monster could have done something horrific and he didn't… seem to care. That's the part that annoyed me the most. I'm not even sure he understands that to this day," Remus sighed. "James' own reasons are probably something to do with… I don't know. I don't understand James,"

"Me either, Mr Lupin," Professor McGonagall chuckled. "Continue,"

"Of course Lily is insistent that we forgive him. I wonder what she thinks about it all – she saw me that day, she saw the monster and… she hasn't looked at me differently at all," Remus smiled. "It's nice to know that,"

"There is nothing to see differently Remus," McGonagall commented. "And in any case, Lily Evans is a remarkably kind girl,"

"That she is – unless you're James Potter," Remus joked. "Emmeline agrees with Lily, of course – but she believes the story about Sirius telling Severus that James wanted to duel him,"

"Miss Vance is unaware of your condition?" the professor asked.

"Of course. I know it's not a permanent thing," he stuttered sadly.

"The secrecy?" puzzled McGonagall.

"The relationship. I couldn't put someone through this – it's bad enough that James and Severus got caught in it," Remus admitted. "I can't… it's nice to pretend for these past few months, that I'm something closer to human than most would believe I am,"

"Remus…" McGonagall started.

"It's fine, Professor – I have been aware of what I am for years now," Remus smiled sadly. It was the unfortunate sadness, so undeserved of such a boy, McGonagall thought. Someone like Sirius Black himself would suit the alter ego better than Remus Lupin – he was wild, unruly, and rich enough to never have to work a day in his life – the wolf would simply be something to do every month. Remus Lupin was just a boy caught by a horrible bought of fate, who suited the role of werewolf no more than she did glamour model.

"You should consider telling Miss Vance. She and Lily are not so different, and Lily has accepted you for years," McGonagall informed him. "I think she might surprise you,"

And Remus had considered it. He'd thought through everything – the worst situations and the best. It was only when James had skipped out of his interview telling everyone that McGonagall had informed him how to become the most famous Quidditch captain in the world did he seriously think that maybe telling Emmeline wasn't such a bad thing. They'd spent Christmas together – he'd met her family and vice versa. They had something. This was a girl who had apparently fancied him for years; surely that wouldn't change because he was unable to be with her on one day a month?

So it was that the werewolf took to waiting outside Professor McGonagall's office, whilst she interviewed the last of the Gryffindors – Emmeline Vance. He heard voices talking from within but vowed not to listen. After ten minutes, he heard the sound of a door creaking open, and Emmeline thanking their head of house. She spotted him.

"Remus," she grinned, and lifted herself on her tip toes to kiss him on the cheek.

"Hello Emmeline, can we talk?" he asked awkwardly. The reverie in his stomach was melting away as he imagined her reaction once more. _He could do this._

"Sure, is this about Sirius?" Em asked, taking his hand in hers – it was reassuring.

"Sort of…" Remus wondered how to bring it up. "You… there are things you have to know about me, and what I am, and it will be easier if you listen for a while, okay? Then you can talk, and say as much as you like, just listen, okay?"

"Yeah, of course," she nodded with a smile. "What is it?"

"Sirius didn't really tell Snape that James wanted to duel. It's just that… when my mum is ill… Severus thought that I was… every full moon, and I'm a werewolf," Remus rambled. "I was attacked as a kid, and I'm a werewolf, and barely anyone knows, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you but…"

"You're a werewolf? As in… turn into a wolf during the full moon?" Emmeline giggled. She thought it had been a joke. He stared at her willing her to understand, and eventually her face dropped and her eyes widened. She had been expecting something – maybe a "I'm gay with Sirius," but not this. Certainly not this.

"Pretty much," he admitted – that look haunted his face again – the potentially perfect role model, with the sadness of losing it all.

"Wow," she exclaimed. "Wow,"

"I know it's a lot to process," Remus sighed.

"How did it happen?" she whispered, her eyes shielded from him and her face turned away.

"My father spoke out against a werewolf. I used to think… I used to think that he'd lost control, but that wasn't it. I was just a kid and he did it on purpose," Remus recalled. "It was… horrifying,"

"That's horrible!" Emmeline gasped. "How does Snape come into this?"

"He guessed – put two and two together. Sirius got mad at him for some reason, and told him where I'd be. James found out, put his own life at risk and saved Snape,"

"James hates Snape," Emmeline pondered.

"He saved him though – from me," Remus added bitterly.

"Does Lily know?" Emmeline asked quickly.

"What?" asked a shocked Remus. Was she jealous that Lily knew and not her?

"That's the day she and James fell out – they've barely spoken since – if she knew he'd saved rather than attacked Severus surely she'd forgive him?" explained the girl. There was a furrow in her brow.

"Lily knows…" Remus said quietly.

"Then why does she hate James?" Emmeline questioned. To this, Remus didn't know the answer.

"Beats me – it's James and Lily, I can't tell when they're ready for a fight or going to start making out," Remus joked which made Emmeline laugh. It loosened the tension in him.

"What did you mean… when you said James saved him?" Emmeline asked, avoiding his eyes.

"He ran to the shrieking shack and pushed him out of the way," Remus explained.

"Out of your way?" Emmeline confirmed. Remus nodded. "What would you have done?"

"I might've killed him. I might've mauled him. I might've turned him into a werewolf," Remus said slowly. He wanted her to accept him, but he felt it his duty to be honest.

"He was brave," Emmeline commented after a minute's silence.

"He might just be the bravest person I know," Remus said.

"Or just the stupidest," Emmeline smiled.

"I think Sirius wins that award," Remus joked.

Emmeline's face went still. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this information,"

"Erm," Remus stuttered – he'd thought she accepted it somewhat… she hadn't seemed horrified by him. He held his hand out to take hers but she pulled back momentarily.

"It's not that… I… we have fun, and everything but…" she trembled. "I can't…"

"Em," he stepped forwards, she stepped back – the old dance of fear. She was scared of what he was.

"That's where you go when you're mum's ill, isn't it?" she asked. He nodded. "You… I thought you were just worried… but you're a…"

"Please, Em…"

"Can I have some… I can't…"

"You want some time?" Remus asked. "Anything, Em…"

"I'm going to go… and… think," Emmeline stumbled. She turned away from him without looking at him, leaving him alone in the end of the corridor watching her run away – pale and shocked.

He fell down to the floor. The monster had done it again. He'd convinced himself that she might have acted like Lily or James – he hadn't realised how much he thought that she wouldn't care until he watched her rush around the corner, panic in her eyes. There was something about the hope he had held that ripped a hole in his heart open more so than he had ever felt before. He'd thought she would accept him, but he'd been kidding himself.

How long he sat there, head in hands, he didn't know. At some point he had considered chasing her and obliviating her memory – he'd considered running into the forbidden forest and living there with Hagrid – he wanted to find James or Lily and have them convince him that he wasn't a monster. That somewhere inside of him was simply a disease that made him different for one night. He needed the confirmation of his humanity, and at that minute he'd have taken it from anyone.

"Remus?" a confusingly familiar voice asked with worry in it. It was a voice he hadn't heard properly in over a month. Footsteps rushed forwards, and when Remus looked up he saw the sad face of Sirius Black. "Are you okay, Remus?"

"I told Em," Remus confessed, not caring that Sirius had betrayed him. He'd betrayed himself – he'd done the exact thing Sirius had and told someone his secret. In that minute Remus needed his friend. "I told Emmeline what I am,"

"Oh Merlin, Mooney! I'm assuming it didn't go too well?" Sirius asked, falling against the wall beside his estranged friend.

"Oh it went superbly – I like to celebrate by having mild panic attacks against corridor walls," Remus snapped sarcastically; the rational boy was ebbed away by the heartbreak.

"Did she tell you where to stick it?" Sirius asked. Normally he would have found the boy's abrasive and blunt ways to be horrible, but there was something so familiar about the friendly jibes that Remus had missed. James hadn't been acting like himself at all, and Remus needed the humour.

"She ran away," he admitted. "She couldn't even bare to touch me,"

"Bitch!" Sirius exclaimed.

"That's your cousin," Remus pointed out.

"Then she should bloody well know not to judge people on their blood," Sirius complained. "She doesn't confirm anything, alright mate?"

"What?" stuttered the boy.

"Just because you love her, and you've wanted to be with her for years, and she makes you happy – those things don't mean that she determines what makes you good and what makes you a monster," Sirius informed the other boy. "If she knew you as well as me and Pron… Potter, then she'd know. You know the man you truly are, Remus! This heart is where you truly live! This heart! Here! This flesh is only flesh!"

"That sounds familiar…" Remus pondered.

"It's what James and I say to you when you're… furry," Sirius admitted.

"Ah," he sighed. "She hates me,"

"No she doesn't – she just…" Sirius started.

"I think she does. You should've seen it – the look in her eye – you can't imagine what it's like to be thought of a monster by someone you love," Remus stuttered.

"Don't I?" Sirius spat. Remus looked at the other boy – he was thinner than normal, paler too. His handsome exterior had faded with the humour that was lost with James. Neither boy was right without the other.

"Sirius…" Remus started.

"No, don't Remus. It's not your fault. It's mine. That and the fact that James is stubborn as a mule," Sirius sighed.

"Stag, stubborn as a stag," Remus laughed.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said. "Sincerely, I know what it would have cost you to have harmed Snape,"

"Or Lily – she was there too," Remus said. "I'd rather die than hurt my friends, you know this Sirius,"

"I know – but… the things he was saying, about Lily, you and James, Regulus…" Sirius started. "It broke me,"

"It's okay…" Remus said. "I… I don't think I'm angry anymore,"

"James is," Sirius sighed dully.

"Unfortunately," Remus agreed.

"How's Peter?" Sirius asked. He hadn't been able to speak with the boy, as James was around both he and Remus at all times.

"He's good – I think he misses you," Remus said. "He keeps bringing you up – James snaps at him and walks away but…"

"He's like a well-trained pet," Sirius remarked.

"We all are, really," Remus laughed. "Except maybe Prongs – I don't think a pet stag would be very convenient,"

"And he's not well trained," Sirius added. Remus chuckled.

"Things'll settle down," Remus assured him.

"You sound like Lily," Sirius laughed.

"That must be a compliment," Remus said with a smile. "By the way, why do she and James hate each other so much?"

"I don't think they do… I actually don't know what's going on with those two. One minute he's stealing my woman, the next he's shouting at her and telling her to jump off the astronomy tower?" Sirius mused. "How're you, though?"

"Fine – I think the shock wore off a bit. Or at least enough that I am able to wonder why I was in shock at all,"

"Because no one should treat you like that, Remus – I'm mad at her," Sirius vowed.

"She's one of the only people in Gryffindor who will talk to you and you're going to stop talking to her?" Remus joked incredulously.

"Maybe someone will take pity on me?" Sirius joked.

Emmeline was alone in the dormitory when Lily rushed in, saw her crying and cuddled up to her.

"We've been looking everywhere for you, Em. What's up?" Lily asked, throwing her arm around her friend.

"Remus… told me…" Emmeline sobbed.

"That he loved you? Didn't he do that ages ago?" Lily wondered, sure they'd had the commitment issue talk a while back.

"That he's a werewolf," Emmeline finally spat out. Lily stopped rubbing her friends shoulder and dropped her arm.

"Oh," Lily said. "And that's bad?"

"Of course it's bad Lily! He kills people!" Emmeline sobbed. "He could've killed Snape!"

"He doesn't kill people Emmeline. It's Remus! He can't even defend against nargles without feeling sorry for them!" Lily exclaimed. "And that wasn't his fault…"

"You knew the whole time! You never told me that my boyfriend was a mutt!" Emmeline cried. Lily jumped back.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"What?" Emmeline replied.

"Remus Lupin is nothing of the sort. He is a fine human being, a lovely person, and someone that was unfortunately caught by an act of hatred. He is no form of mutt," Lily said strongly.

"He's not human!" Emmeline shouted.

"Apparently he is more so than you!" Lily bellowed in reply. "I thought you weren't the kind of person to judge someone based on their blood,"

"That's not blood! That's a disaster," Emmeline screamed. "I've been kissing… he probably ate animals with that mouth,"

"Of course he did! He's not a bloody vegetarian and nor are you! Just because once a month he likes his steak raw, doesn't mean you can get all brutish!"

"Me? Brutish? Coming from the girl who plays guys along like she's in a slag-orchestra!" Emmeline shouted.

"At least I accept the people I love for who they are!" Lily retorted. Anger was rising in her, and as a result she was shaking from head to foot.

"Hardly! You're always yelling at Potter for hexing people or being funny," the girl yelled.

"Some of the stuff he does isn't funny! It's cruel!" Lily spat.

"Unlike Snape, Right? Snape can't do any wrong – even if it is dark magic!" Emmeline shouted. There was a crashing and the sound of a door opening. Mary walked in.

"What in the name of Diagon Alley is going on in here?" Mary demanded.

"Emmeline is dumping Remus, because she disagrees with his blood," Lily explained harshly. Emmeline recoiled.

"What, is this true, Em?" Mary asked kindly.

"Oh yeah – all the time we thought she was nothing like that family of hers, but here it is: she's a Black through and through!" Lily shouted. Rage was within her so deep that she wasn't sure she was even controlling her mouth anymore. Emmeline had insulted her, Severus and even Remus. Looking down at the weeping mess on the bed, Lily wondered where she'd gone wrong.

"Who are you to talk to me about family, Evans? Yours are muggles who hate you!" Emmeline shouted. Mary jumped backwards.

"Em! Don't say that…"

"Why not? It's true!" Emmeline snapped. "She gets one hurtful letter from her sister and she's off crying. Probably just so someone will pay attention to her,"

"Emmeline, that's really out of order," Mary said. "I know you're upset but…"

"I don't care! Bugger you all, if this is the way you're going to be!" Emmeline said, drying her eyes with the sides of her hands. She stood up and glared at Lily. Lily who was now somewhat taller than the other girl didn't find this very threatening at all. After all, Lily had taken on Lestat Rosier and lived to tell the tale. Emmeline stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

The minute the door was shut tears burst from Lily's eyes. She wished they didn't, but they streamed and streamed. Mary rushed over to her and held her tightly, telling her that it'd all be okay, and that Emmeline would calm down and apologize. But Lily didn't want her to. She wanted to stay mad at the girl forever. How could she forgive anyone that could be so harsh about Remus, call her a slag, insult her family and… okay, the comment about Severus was fair enough, but it's still not nice to say it.

A week had passed and Lily and Mary (also Marlene, who didn't know why, but was angry at her out of principle) hadn't spoken to Emmeline. As a result of which, the girl had started to hang around with Charlotte Parkinson. The pair had become almost inseparable – they both glared at Lily at every opportunity, not missing any chance to whisper loudly about her when she was around. Mostly it was just pathetic stuff such as "Ponytails are so ugly – they make her look like a horse," but stretching to crueller insults regarding her relationship with Sirius and James.

The boy's relationships were rocky also. Remus had forgiven Sirius, and could be found encouraging James to chat to him occasionally, or even having a nice conversation with him in the common room during the evenings. The werewolf had been initially heartbroken regarding Emmeline's recent behaviour – he'd thought that even if she hadn't accepted him, she would have enough sense not to fall out with Lily and run off with Charlotte – a fact of which he was often apologetic for during Prefect Duties.

"I'm sorry you lost your best friend because of me," Remus said.

"Remus, it's not about you – the fact that she insulted you was awful, but it wasn't the reason that I was angry at her. The fact that she would judge someone based on that – and yet thinks the word mudblood is awful. It's hypocrisy and it's awful. You're a fantastic person, and she obviously isn't in her right state of mind," Lily informed the boy.

"I like that how… even when she's insulted everything important to you, you still refuse to call her a bitch," Remus laughed. "It's admirable,"

"Why would I?" Lily asked.

"Because she's a bitch,"

"She never has been before – I'm just… hurt that she used all that stuff against me. She used the vulnerabilities that I trusted her with to make me feel bad. Friends don't do that, Remus," sighed Lily.

"There's no hope for you two?" he asked kindly as they turned the corner to see another empty corridor. They'd been walking for twenty minutes and seen nothing.

"None. We're past the point of forgiveness. What about Sirius and Potter?" inquired Lily.

"Surprisingly they're not actually that bitter. I'm shocked," Remus admitted. "I'm not even sure why James is still mad,"

"Really?" Lily asked of him incredulously. Remus looked at her.

"You do?"

"It's not hard to work out – Sherlock Holmes phase, remember?" Lily laughed, Remus joined in.

"Enlighten me, Mr Holmes," he instructed. Lily took a breath.

"Because he's killed someone in his life time – because he knows what that feeling is like, and he has to live with it forever," Lily mused. "And his one saving grace was that he didn't surround himself with people that would so easily kill someone. Because he didn't want his best friend to have to suffer with that,"

"Is that why he is mad with you?" Remus asked. "Because you were meant to be safe? His whole frolicking with me in the forest was never meant to hurt you – he saved Severus so you wouldn't be hurt, and then you show up and call a monster towards you, putting yourself in the line of danger,"

"You're not a monster," Lily told him.

"I do have a good point though," Remus smiled. They were so rare now a days that Lily couldn't help but return it.

"I guess there may be a valid point in there somewhere. But it doesn't excuse his behaviour since," Lily said.

"Maybe he's trying to stop you from wanting to save him?" Remus suggested. "Keep you safe,"

"You boys are totally backwards," Lily laughed. Remus joined in. "Sirius is happy to have you, Remus,"

"You too," Remus said. "We're no James though,"

"Not at all – they're… they were like brothers," Lily said.

"You have no idea – they spend Christmas together every year," Remus told her, which caused her to burst into laughter.

"What're they going to do if they don't become friends?" Lily exclaimed.

"Santa will just kill them both," Remus joked.

"I'm not sure that's Santa's job, Remus," Lily said sternly.

"I didn't grow up with your muggle tales. To me, Santa was a mass murderer who sent people the heads of his victims," Remus joked – it was strange seeing the boy do such a thing. It was such a James thing to say; a kind of humour he'd obviously picked up from being a marauder for so long.

"You're making that up," Lily accused.

"Was it that obvious?" Remus gasped dramatically.

"You lost me at mass murderer," Lily laughed. Remus smiled at her again.

"Eleven – time to head back to the common room!" Remus sang as he checked his watch.

Ophelia Finnley had grown substantially in the year Lily had known her. Of course, not literally, because the girl had the ability to change her appearance at will, and did so often to resume a perfectly gorgeous person. Mentally she had grown to harness and control her power, losing her calm only in desperately horrid situations. When she had found about what Emmeline had said to Lily she had threatened to make the girl feel so guilty she would come begging on her feet, but Lily had denied. Instead they turned to gossip about Sirius and James.

According to the second year, James felt wretched whenever Sirius was around, and Sirius felt guilty. One suggestion to make them friends was for her to morph into each of the boys and have one apologize to the other. Lily pointed out that this would never work, because they knew each other so well, any change in appearance wouldn't go unnoticed – and the eyes were a big thing. They went back to brainstorming. Lily thought they could just knock them out and lock them in a room together, but Ophelia realised that it was probably against school policy to randomly knock chaps out; even if it _was_ for their own good.

The stroke of genius came when Ophelia morphed herself a black eye and bloody lip. Lily jumped, the plan formulating in her head. Quickly she told Ophelia it, and she agreed whole heartedly.

"It's okay because we'll only be drugging someone. Drugging someone is better than whacking them over the head!" Ophelia exclaimed, as she and Lily sweated over the cauldron.

"A dash of peppermint!" Lily ordered, dropping the leaf that the younger girl handed to her into the bubbling liquid. "And we're done!"

"That quickly?" Ophelia asked, shocked. "No wonder Slughorn loves you,"

"I _am_ somewhat of a genius," Lily boasted falsely with a laugh. "You have the vial?"

"Yep," Ophelia said, handing her the glass bottle. Lily carefully poured the potion into the vial and stoppered it with a cork.

"Fantastic!"

"How are we going to get him to take it?" Ophelia asked naively.

"Did you ever hear the phrase "the way to knock a man out is by slipping a sleeping potion into his sandwich"? It's not very catchy…" Lily said, removing a chicken baguette from her bag and dripping a few drops of the potion onto the chicken. "He only needs to be out for about ten minutes,"

Luckily, when handling matters of the stomach, there was no need for Lily to be subtle with Sirius Black. Walking up to him after their last lesson of the day, she went to go and take a bite of the spiked sandwich, but he ripped it from her hands and took a bite the destroyed half of it.

"Oi!" she said. "You can't just eat my-" but she stopped talking as soon as he dropped down, seemingly dead, on the floor. "-sleeping potion, booya!" she congratulated herself, and proceeded to place a disillusionment charm over him so that she was able to levitate him to down the short corridor, without the portraits muttering.

Ophelia was waiting with a grin. She watched as Lily removed the disillusionment charm, and placed a number of other charms on him, that would cause his face to look hurt – as though he'd been brutally beaten up. None of the charms would cause him physical harm, but it gave the look of it. Quickly, they disappeared into a disused classroom and waited for James to get the Patronus Lily had sent as a messenger just five minutes earlier.

They heard him sprinting down the corridor, shouting "Lily?"

James spotted the boy unconscious on the side of the corridor. There was blood trickling down the side of his mouth and nose – his eye was swollen and purple, and there was a nasty gash running down his normally handsome face. James gasped and ran forwards, forgetting his anger at the boy in the seconds he was in motion. Kneeling down beside him James took a note of the damage – nothing much beyond the face and his unconscious nature. Just as he wondered what he should do, the boy's eyes flickered open.

"James?" Sirius groaned tried.

"What happened to you?" James demanded. "Was it Snivellus?"

"What do you mean?" Sirius questioned. James pulled the two way mirror out of his robe pocket and pointed it at the boy. Sirius looked at the damage. "Weird, I don't feel anything,"

"I got a message saying… Evans. She's clever – I thought something had happened, and I saw you there…" James rambled. "I… she's more clever than I give her credit for,"

"Care to explain?" Sirius asked, sitting up.

"Finite incantatem," James said, his wand pointing at Sirius' face. The other boy flinched as he did so, which was a fair enough reaction, as he'd spent weeks now avoiding him. James showed him his reflection once more. "Evans tricked me here,"

"Why?" Sirius asked, leaning against the wall. James was doing the same thing beside him – it was just how Remus and Sirius had sat earlier that week.

"To get us to talk to each other, I guess," James explained.

"You carry the mirror around with you?" Sirius asked. He hadn't been expecting that – not at all.

"We promised we always would," was all he said.

"Mine's been in my trunk since January," Sirius admitted.

"Fiend," James said, though the harsh connotations weren't nearly as visible as they may have been.

"I didn't think you'd want to talk to me," he explained.

"And what if you really had got beaten to a pulp? Who would've saved you?" James demanded.

"Sorry, I forget you're the big hero now," Sirius said bitterly.

"Padfoot – stop it," James ordered.

"Why are you here?" Sirius asked.

"Lily sent me a message telling me to get here at once," James said.

"I thought you were mad with her too?" Sirius demanded.

"I'm not – I just… she's going to be the death of me," James sighed.

"In all likelihood – yes, she will be," Sirius agreed with a smile. "And that's not what I meant,"

"What?"

"I meant: why are you still here? I'm not hurt – you can go if you want to," Sirius told him.

"Remus told me you were sorry. He's forgiven you. He's the one who you betrayed. I should be able to forgive you," James said resentfully.

"But you can't," Sirius finished for him.

"Exactly, and I don't know why," he muttered. "I can't… I thought you were different,"

"I am! I'm not that guy," Sirius vowed. James ran both of his hands through his hair.

"I don't know what to believe anymore. Lily and Emmeline falling out – Remus and Emmeline breaking up – Norrel apparently felt Lottie up," James laughed. "Slut,"

"She misses you," Sirius said.

"Obviously not if she's letting Norrel feel her up!" James cried.

"Not Lottie – Lily. She doesn't like to admit it, but she does," Sirius said. "I can tell – the way she'll start every conversation with me asking if we've made up yet – how she'll recall word for word how you insulted her that day with tears in her eyes – how she'll end every conversation saying "bye bye Po… Sirius," and how she can't summon a corporeal patronus during her defence sessions at the moment,"

"She doesn't…" James stuttered.

"She does," Sirius disagreed. "I would say you've lost your chance,"

"But you won't?" James asked.

"No,"

"Why not?"

"Because she's been hiding behind that door for this entire conversation and she let me say all of that without any form of anger. Because it's true," Sirius said with a tone of humour in his voice.

"SIRIUS!" Lily called out. "You ruined it!" She and Ophelia revealed themselves from the classroom and slunk against the wall facing James.

"How did you know she was there?" James questioned.

"She'd want to see our teary reunion," Sirius grinned. "I know her,"

"Yup – and so far no tears, and no reunion!" Ophelia complained loudly.

"Hey Fin," James greeted. "I should've known you'd be here too,"

"Hey James," Ophelia said happily. "Be friends already! I know for a fact that you both want to,"

"It's not a case of not wanting to," James started.

"Why not? Why can't it be that simple?" Lily asked.

"You tell me, Evans," it was the first non-insulting thing he'd said to her in a month. Her heart thudded against her ribcage with the intensity of the eye contact.

"Because you just want to protect him," Lily said, not looking away from him. "You can't have him hurting, feeling sad, or being a reminder to you of what you did. The fact that Remus hates himself is bad enough for you – if Sirius did too it'd break you,"

"And if you had been hurt that night…." James said.

"You'd have blamed yourself," Lily finished for him. "But I wasn't, and it wouldn't have been your fault,"

"Another time…" James started.

"I can protect myself James, I'm not Charlotte. I don't need someone to be my body guard," Lily told him. "We are equals,"

"A man doesn't like to get rid of someone who he considers his equal. Dumbledore told me that," Sirius pitched in. James slowly and begrudgingly moved his eyes from Lily's.

"Dumbledore did," James said. "_He_ got rid of his equal,"

"Because he had to – _because_ they were equal – he was the only one who could stop him," Sirius said. The boys stood facing each other in a challenging way – they were considering either hexing or punching, but in the end they both just grinned widely.

"You promise not to become the next Grindlewald?" James asked.

"You promise not to grow a tiresome, though magnificent beard?" Sirius replied. "It would be awful to comb,"

"Deal," they said in chorus, grinning and shaking hands.

"See! Was it really that hard?" Lily demanded. James offered her his hand to help her stand. She took it with a thank you.

"Excruciating," James said. "I really wanted a Dumbledore beard,"

Lily and Ophelia left the boys to continue their reunion in peace, which probably meant that they were going down to the kitchens to get a pre-dinner snack. The girls were headed in the direction of their common room, walking slowly through the empty corridors.

"Do you think they'll keep being friends?" Ophelia asked Lily.

"I reckon so – Potter and Sirius and many things, but they're not liars," Lily replied.

"So things are going back to normal," the younger girl grinned. Lily put her arm around her.

"Mostly – there's still Emmeline," Lily corrected her sadly. Ophelia hugged her back. They turned the corner heading into the transfiguration corridor, and saw Dumbledore and McGonagall talking in hushed voices. Dumbledore noticed their presence immediately and broke away from the transfiguration professor to smile at the girls.

"Thank you Minerva, that is quite interesting," Dumbledore said. "Hello Lily, Ophelia. You have an air of proud achievement about you,"

"We just tricked James Potter and Sirius Black into being friends again," Ophelia proclaimed happily.

"Thank heavens!" Professor McGonagall cried out. "I thought the world was going to collapse, what with the way they were avoiding one another,"

"It's all sorted now," Lily grinned.

"Miss Evans – how is your defence against the dark arts going?" Professor Dumbledore asked kindly.

"Fabulous," Lily answered, leaving out her poor attempt at a patronus. "I've learnt a lot!"

"Wonderful," Dumbledore hummed. "Well, I think I had better get to my office – Important headmaster things to do," he said, smiling at McGonagall and the girls and turning down the corridor. Lily pondered something for a second, told Ophelia to stay put and ran after him.

"Professor," she called out. He turned; totally unsurprised that she had followed him.

"Lily," he said.

"I… you said something to Sirius Black – about a man not wanting to get rid of his equal…" Lily started.

"Is this about yourself and Emmeline Vance?" Dumbledore asked. She was shocked.

"How did you know about that?" Lily questioned. He merely smiled and looked down at her through his half-moon glasses.

"The sorting hat is quite the gossip," Dumbledore replied slyly. Lily smiled.

"Well, yes – this is about me and Em. Remus told her about his… condition and she didn't accept him," Lily said. "She started calling him a mutt,"

"Alas – Poor Remus. It appears that though the Black family prejudice does not harm her when looking at muggle borns, she is unable to accept a disease which he is unable to control,"

"But why? If she doesn't hate muggle borns, why does she think he is any different? I thought she was one of the good guys," Lily implored.

"Do you recall the little paper doll chains you would make as a child? You would colour them all in differently and give them different outfits and they would be like real people in your imagination. Unfortunately, real people aren't as simple as colour on paper – they have pasts and memories, and prejudices, and a number of things which make a number or either rational or irrational decisions. We cannot say that because she does not accept what Mr Lupin is that she is a bad guy. We know of course, that she is wrong in believing he is a monster – but you should not judge people on their mistakes. They are simply mistakes, and all we can do is accept them and move on," Dumbledore said. Lily nodded, thinking she understood his point.

"Right, thank you sir," she said, and smiled. She turned to return to Ophelia, but Dumbledore called out.

"Remember Lily – there is a war coming. A war that will take out friends from us unwillingly, and there is nothing we can do to stop it. One might consider it unwise to lose a friend at one's own choice – in case by the time they are finished being angry, the war has taken them away,"

The weeks passed slowly as everyone panicked for their upcoming exams. The fifth years could be seen spending the majority of their time either in the library or behind a book in the common room. Gossiping had been put on hold too, so no one seemed to care that Emmeline was now going out with some schmuck by the name of David Cordon, and that they were caught by some prefects doing unhygienic things in the broom cupboard. The marauders (bar Remus) had decided to make full use of their new found friendship by going around and trying to distract as many people as possible in the most amusing ways. At first this included Peter turning into a rat and running around scaring girls, but eventually evolved into James using a spell to wipe all their revision books free of any words. Enraged, Lily had threatened to report him to McGonagall and he was forced to return the books back to their usual valour.

The more they needed to revise, the sunnier it got – it was the curse of the examination period. Some people took their books outside, to lounge about next to the lake whilst trying to list the different uses for dragon's blood, but Lily and Severus preferred the cool confines of the library. Marlene and Mary were with them – they insisted that if they were revising on their own they wouldn't learn anything, and used the pair as a scary motivator. No one wanted to get on the wrong side of Lily around the exam time – they had learnt as much in the first year.

When the exams started even James and Sirius could be seen buckling down and removing at least one book from their previously untouched bags every night. With each passing day the fifth years would crowd around the great hall, take their seats inside, and spend up to two hours scribbling with specially supplied quills. Transfiguration they had to write about the side effects of human transfiguration – particularly animagi – and practically do a number of things from turning a rat into a cup, to turning a coat hanger into a coat. Potions they were locked inside the dungeons and told to produce a Sleeping Draught, which Lily had recent experience in, and then write down the poisons and their antidotes, the ingredients needed for Amortenia and Felix Felicis, and to write down the effects of Draught of the Living Dead. Divination they had to sit with a crystal ball and hope the light caught it in such a way that their imagination would spur some story about their own brutal death, and Ancient Runes they were to translate four pages of inscriptions. In Charms Lily had excelled by writing 18 pages of theory and gaining extra marks in her practical by turning herself blue at the end of it. The exams passed and everyone was feeling relieved when it came to the last two: Defensive – Practical, and Defensive – Theory.

One by one they were lead into the Great Hall where the examiners were milling around. They would ask you to demonstrate certain pieces of magic and grade you on the quickness of the spell casting, the strength of the spell, and the clarity of their spoken magic. Lily was unnaturally not nervous – throughout her other exams she'd been scared before entering the hall, but now she was calm. She'd been practising Defensive magic for a year now to a quality in which she was able to protect herself against dark magic. Exams were going to be a breeze.

"Hello Miss Evans," her examiner said smiling. He was a small wizard, who rivalled the height of Professor Flitwick greatly. He had a short brown beard, which was shaped like an arrow head. His hair was about the length of Sirius', though it suited him much better than the younger boy. The wizard grinned reassuringly at her. "No need to be nervous!" he told her. "Right then – in this crate is a boggart. I want you to tackle it," Lily nodded.

The wizard twitched his wand and the lid to the crate lifted. Out of the box came a tall figure, with dark hair, a handsome face, and his wand pointed towards her. She knew the face – it had been in the papers, on all of the wanted posters. Lily hadn't even realised who stood before her before she shouted the counter curse at him, and turned him from the darkest wizard of all time into Lord Voldemort wearing a pair of Mary's bright red boots, a mini skirt she recognized as Donna's, and a crop top that belonged to Charlotte. The man looked around at the group who laughed at him and started squirming. The examiner grinned and let the boggart back in its box.

"Well done!" he chuckled. "I admit that I never thought I'd see He Who Must Not Be Named dressed in such a way," Lily then continued to do a range of other easy magic that they had been covering in class, disappointed that she was unable to show off her more advanced magic, until the examiner smiled at her. "Perfect! All around perfect. There's not anything else you want to show me? We had one boy produce a patronus earlier,"

"I can do a patronus," Lily said quickly, then cursed herself. She hadn't successfully produced a full one in months! The one she had sent to James as a messenger was barely even mist. He clapped and told her to do so. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and opened them. James had just entered the room. He was walking past her when he smiled and dropped his head. The first day of this year – she thought to herself – the flying and the sitting on top of the castle. "Expecto Patronum," and there she was – the doe. She galloped around the examiner, nudging him with her head. Lily sent her into the wall where she disappeared. When she looked up Lily saw a number of examiners looking at her – amongst them was James. He grinned at her.

"Fantastic! Just brilliant!" the man cheered. Lily was asked to leave the room, where she waited patiently for Mary and Marlene. The former of which came out happily, congratulating Lily on her patronus, and they waited for the latter. Marlene rushed out, red in the face and tears in her eyes. The pair rushed over to their friend.

"I mixed up stupefy and renervate! My examiner ended up falling into the boggart case!" she cried. James came out smiling a few minutes later.

The theory exam was the last one of the year. They were led into the Great Hall, where (as it had been for all of their theory exams) the four house tables were gone. Instead, there were more than a hundred of smaller tables, all facing the same way. They were each seated in their designated places, where they were handed parchment and quills. Lily could see Severus across the room and shot him an encouraging smile. James was somewhere behind her. Someone told them to start, and Lily opened her question booklet.

_What spell would you use to disarm your opponent? Name its incantation and practical application._

The only sound was the scratching of quills and the occasional rustle as somebody adjusted their parchment. Lily was one of the most vigorous scribblers – her handwriting had been sacrificed a long time ago in the name of writing as much as possible. Sunshine was streaming through the high windows on to the bent heads, which shone chestnut and copper and gold in the bright light.

Lily looked over to Snape – his nose was practically touching the table, and he'd written about a foot more than his neighbour (Nerrol) and about a paragraph more than herself. She returned to her own paper and took off where she'd left it.

"Five more minutes!" someone called from the front of the room – it was the examiner she'd had for her practical. He was grinning still. Professor Flitwick was near the man, and walked past him and up and down the corridors.

James straightened up and dropped his quill. As he pulled his parchment towards him he read what he had written – a pretty good mark was deserved, he thought to himself proudly. And he'd finished way before Snivellus and Lily. She was still in front of her, her red head hunched over her table.

James yawned hugely and rumpled up his hair, making it even messier than it had been. Then, with a glance towards Professor Flitwick, he turned in his seat and grinned at a boy sitting four seats behind him. The people around him glared.

Sirius gave James the thumbs-up in return. The boy was lounging in his chair at his ease, tilting it back on two legs. He was much healthier looking now, James noted; his dark hair fell into his eyes with a sort of casual elegance his could never have achieved. James winked at the girl sitting behind his friend, who was eyeing him hopefully, though he didn't seem to have noticed. And two seats along from this girl was Remus, who was still as studious looking as Lily and Snivellus. He looked rather pale and peaky, as the full moon fast approached, and was absorbed in the exam: as he reread his answers, he scratched his chin with the end of his quill, frowning slightly. He caught James' grin and returned it.

Wormtail looked anxious; he was chewing his fingernails, staring down at his paper, scuffing the ground with his toes. Every now and then he glanced hopefully at his neighbour's paper. James laughed and turned his face back to the front of the hall. He looked at Lily's head. James was now doodling on a bit of scrap parchment. He had drawn a Snitch and was now tracing the letters 'L.E.' as he did with most of his notes. He spotted the clock and instantly crossed out the doodles in the margins – mainly her initials.

"Quills down please!" squeaked Professor Flitwick. "That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! Accio!"

Over a hundred rolls of parchment zoomed into the air and into Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him backwards off his feet. Several people laughed; James included. A couple of students at the front desks got up, took hold of Professor Flitwick beneath the elbows and lifted him back onto his feet.

"Thank you, thank you," panted Professor Flitwick. "Very well, everybody, you're free to go!"

James stuffed his quill and the exam paper into his bag, which he slung over his back, and stood waiting for Sirius to join him. He looked around and glimpsed Snape a short way away, moving between the tables towards the doors of the Entrance Hall, still absorbed in his own exam paper. Round-shouldered, yet angular, he walked in a twitchy manner, that recalled a spider, and his oily hair was jumping about his face.

Charlotte, Emmeline and their gang of chattering girls separated Snape from James, Sirius and Lupin. Once they all joined together they started recalling the exam.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" asked Sirius, as they emerged into the Entrance Hall.

"Loved it," said Lupin briskly. "Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question."

"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" said James in tones of mock concern.

"Think I did," said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. "One: he's sitting on my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: his name's Remus Lupin."

Peter was the only one who didn't laugh.

"I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes and the tufted tail," he said anxiously, "but I couldn't think what else –"

"How thick are you, Wormtail?" said James impatiently. "You run around with a werewolf once a month –"

"Keep your voice down," implored Lupin. There was a large group of happy exam-free students around them.

James and his three friends strode off down the lawn towards the lake, Snape followed, still poring over the exam paper and apparently with no fixed idea of where he was going. Lily, Mary and Marlene were joining the throng of students as they filled down to the lake, to enjoy their first day of stress-free sunlight.

"Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake," Sirius said. "I'll be surprised if I don't get "Outstanding" on it at least."

"Me too," said James. He put his hand in his pocket and took out a struggling Golden Snitch. He'd stolen it last week at Quidditch practise as a way to distract him from everyone (particularly Remus) who was stressing out.

"Where'd you get that?"

"Nicked it," James said casually. He started playing with the Snitch, allowing it to fly as much as a foot away before seizing it again; his reflexes were excellent. Peter watched him in awe. The four marauders were back together.

They stopped in the shade of the very same beech tree on the edge of the lake near where Snape had settled himself on the grass in the dense shadow of a clump of bushes. He was as deeply immersed in the OWL paper as ever, which amused the marauders to no end. The sunlight was dazzling on the smooth surface of the lake, on the bank of which the group of laughing girls who had just left the Great Hall were sitting, with their shoes and socks off, cooling their feet in the water. Lily, Marlene and Mary sat away from them – ignoring their taunts.

Lupin had pulled out a book and was reading. Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored, but very handsomely so. James was still playing with the Snitch, letting it zoom further and further away, almost escaping but always grabbed it at the last second. Peter was watching him with his mouth open. Every time James made a particularly difficult catch, Wormtail gasped and applauded. After five minutes of this, James found the hooting annoying, but he was somewhat enjoying the attention. James rumpled his hair to make it messy.

"Put that away, will you?" said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Wormtail let out a cheer, "before Wormtail wets himself with excitement."

Wormtail turned slightly pink, but James grinned.

"If it bothers you," he said, stuffing the Snitch back in his pocket. Normally he wouldn't have, but their new found friendship was still a bit rocky in places – something which only time could cure. To avoid an argument James stopped – had Remus told him to James would've become more extravagant.

"I'm bored" said Sirius. "Wish it was full moon."

"You might," said Lupin darkly from behind his book. "I still have arithmancy, if you're bored you could test me. Here" and he held out his book.

But Sirius snorted. "You don't need to look at that rubbish, you know it all."

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot," said James quietly. "Look who it is"

Sirius's head turned. He became very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit.

"Excellent," he said softly. "Snivellus."

Snape was on his feet again, and was stowing the OWL paper in his bag. As he left the shadows of the bushes and set off across the grass, Sirius and James stood up.

Lupin and Wormtail remained sitting: Lupin was still staring down at his book, though his eyes were not moving and a faint frown line had appeared between his eyebrows; Wormtail was looking from Sirius and James to Snape with a look of avid anticipation on his face.

"All right Snivellus?" said James loudly.

Snape reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack: dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes and his wand was halfway into the air when James shouted, "Expelliarmus!"

Snape's wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him. Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

"Impedimenta!" he said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off his feet halfway through a dive towards his own fallen wand.

Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had got to their feet and were edging nearer. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained.

Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands raised, James glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water's edge as he went. Wormtail was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Lupin to get a clearer view.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said James. Their Snape hate had increased since their renewed friendship – he was after all, the one who had ruined it all.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it; they won't be able to read a word."

Several people watching laughed; the chattering girls especially.

Wormtail sniggered shrilly. Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

"You - wait," he panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing, "you - wait!"

'Wait for what?' said Sirius coolly. 'What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?'

Snape let out a scream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened.

"Wash out your mouth," said James coldly. "Scourgify!"

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him -

"Leave him ALONE!" a voice shouted. James jumped.

James and Sirius looked round. James's free hand immediately jumped to his hair.

"All right, Evans?" said James, and the tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature.

"Leave him alone," Lily repeated. She was looking at James with every sign of great dislike. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," said James, appearing to deliberate the point, "it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean,"

Many of the surrounding students laughed, Sirius and Wormtail included, but Lupin, still apparently intent on his book, didn't, and nor did Lily.

"You think you're funny," she said coldly. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said James quickly. "Go on - go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

Behind him, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Snape was beginning to inch towards his fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," said Lily.

"Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius briskly, and turned back to Snape. "OI!"

But too late; Snape had directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James's face, spattering his robes with blood. James whirled about: a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.

Many people in the small crowd cheered; Sirius, James and Wormtail roared with laughter.

Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though she was going to smile, said, "Let him down!"

"Certainly," said James and he jerked his wand upwards; Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, "Petrificus Totalus!" and Snape kneeled over again, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said James earnestly.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the counter-curse.

"There you go," he said, as Snape struggled to his feet. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus –"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" he spat.

Lily blinked.

"Fine," she said coolly, though inside her heart had stopped. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."

"Apologise to Evans!" James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

"I don't want you to make him apologise," Lily shouted, rounding on James. "You're as bad as he is."

"What?" yelped James. "I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK."

She turned on her heel and hurried away.

"Evans!" James shouted after her. "Hey, EVANS!"

But she didn't look back.

"What is it with her?" said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him.

"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," said Sirius.

"Right," said James, who looked furious now, "right –"

There was another flash of light, and Snape was once again hanging upside-down in the air.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?" there was a roar of agreement.

Lily ran straight to her dormitory. Mary and Marlene were right behind her, having witnessed the event from the side of the lake. They were used to Lily having to stop James being a prick, but they'd never heard Severus Snape say such a thing against his best friend. When they reached her in the dormitory she was sat motionless, no tears, nothing. They approached the bed slowly.

"Lil?" Mary called softly as she sat gently at the bottom of the bed. "You okay?"

"Mare…" Marlene warned, noticing the hard set of Lily's brow. It was the look she had when she was thinking really, really hard, and Marlene suspected that there was no chance she could even hear them. Mary nodded.

All evening she lay there, not talking to anyone, fully clothed on her bed, as all of her friends sat around her bed, attempting to make her talk. She was having none of it – she simply sat against the headboard and let her eyes scan the copy of Pride and Prejudice that James had given her three years previously. Not taking any of it in, her mind was replaying the incident over and over. How she'd spotted them fighting – how Snape had tried to attack James – how the boy had been too quick for him – how she'd jumped to his rescue – how he'd called her a…

"He's waiting for you outside the common room," Marlene said as she came back into the dormitory. "He says he won't leave until you go and see him,"

"Let him stay there," Lily growled. Mary had been expecting her best friend to be crying at this point. She herself would. Insulted and humiliated in front of everyone, when she tried to stand up for her best friend. She herself was a half blood and the thought of such an insult hurt her. Then again - it was about time she realised what Severus Snape was really like, though, Mary thought happily. The rest of the school could see that he was bad news. At least now she wouldn't always be running off with him.

"I think Potter might have gone to hex him for you, you might want to stop that?" she suggested. Lily's hard exterior was tricky to break at the best of times, but this time she appeared to be completely uncaring.

"Let him," was all she said, and returned to her book. In the bin, Marlene noticed, was the lily that Severus had enchanted to live forever. It had been a Christmas present many years ago and was normally sat on her bedside table. The vase was cracked.

James swore.

"He thinks I won't tell her!" he exclaimed to Sirius loudly as he re-entered the common room for the fifth time that night. "He thinks I'm to coward to tell her the truth,"

"The truth being?" Sirius questioned. He'd settled himself to a long evening of Snape and Lily hate, but curiously enough James hadn't said a word about Lily until now.

"About what happened last year. Or have you forgotten how he almost killed me, he attacked Ophelia and they both ended up in the Hospital wing? I certainly haven't. I'm going to tell her!" James stood up again.

"No you're not," Remus' voice reasoned from the corner. James sat down.

"You're right… it'd kill her," he sighed. The boy was seething – their taunting of his was probably a bit extreme, of that he was aware. But Severus had ruined the marauders friendship, and now his own with Lily. "I really want to hurt him. There was only ever one good thing about him and that was that at least he was nice to Lily. And now he's done this?"

"Is he still out there?" a small voice came from the top of the dorm stairs. James looked up and saw her there, totally composed. It frightened him.

"I'd hope so. Else he can't even keep his lousy word!" James muttered.

"I think I'll go talk to him," Lily said to no one, as she made her way through the fat lady's portrait. Mary and Marlene followed her down a minute or so after.

"Has she gone?" Mary asked, taking a seat besides Remus. He didn't seem too bothered, though he was reading a book. James knew Remus hated being disturbed during a good book.

"A few minutes ago," Peter said. Emmeline, Donna and Charlotte walked in grinning. They spotted the rest of the Gryffindors and went still.

"Hello James," Charlotte growled.

"Charlotte," he said plainly. She stood behind the armchair in which he sat and ran her hands through his hair. He pulled away viciously. "Don't touch me,"

"But James, you used to love it when I did that," Charlotte purred.

"Merlin knows why – what do you reckon Sirius, should I get myself checked for dragon pox?" James called. The group around him laughed, other than the three new comers.

"I think you should," Emmeline said, "I heard about your date with Evans – who knows what she caught from that slimy Slytherin?" it was Donna and Charlotte's time to giggle now.

"Emmeline – you're being nasty," Mary announced bravely. "This coming from the girl going out with Cordon!"

"At least a guy can look at me without wanting to hex me!" Emmeline retorted quickly. Mary's face dropped. Marlene stood up – outside of the Quidditch pitch the girl was normally quite the pacifist, and so she'd watched her friends ripping each other apart for weeks now, but she wasn't going to take it any longer.

"That's such a shame Emmeline – I'd love for someone to do the job for me!" Marlene shouted, pulling her wand from her robes and pointing it at the girl. "But I guess if you want a job doing…"

Emmeline looked scared – she flinched her hand towards her own wand, but Marlene disarmed her at once. Still holding her wand pointed to the girl Marlene glared.

"Just remember Emmeline, when Parkinson's found a new bestie, and Cordon sees you for who you are, that once upon a time you had real friends, and a nice boyfriend," Marlene snapped.

"A nice boyfriend? Really?" Remus looked up from his book, saw what was happening with surprised eyes, and returned to his story.

"You wouldn't know a nice guy if he bit you on the ass," Marlene said.

"Oh, I think that was just the problem," Emmeline retorted. Sirius and James both stood up at once.

"Take that back," they both said as one.

"Oh, have I struck a nerve?" Emmeline laughed. "Rita was right; you're like a married couple,"

"Since when did you listen to the shit Rita Skeeter spouts?" Marlene asked.

"She's right though – she says you're all idiots," Emmeline said.

"Us? Idiots – you see, I'd think the girl who insults six people when she's alone and unarmed is a bit of an idiot myself," James pointed out.

"I'm not alone," Emmeline exclaimed, but as she looked behind her she saw this was not the case – Donna and Charlotte had disappeared a long time ago. "Right,"

"You're a bitch," Sirius said. "You know, you should tell everyone about this at the next family gathering – they'll love it! You fit right in,"

"At least my family can bear to spend Christmas with me,"

"I don't see how – they must be just as idiotic as you," James laughed.

"Oh they are!" Sirius chuckled.

All eyes were fixed on Emmeline, who gave a nasty grimace and turned on her heel, picked up her wand and went up to the dormitory, where Charlotte and Donna were waiting.

Minutes passed in silence. Everyone settled back into their places. They heard shouting from outside the common room that had been over looked when they were doing enough of it themselves. Still no one moved. James flinched, replaying the day's activities in his mind. The way she'd rejected him, how her sadness was all his fault. If he hadn't have insulted Snivelly, then this would have never happened. Not that the prick didn't deserve it. Another ten minutes passed. Marlene and Sirius were talking about Quidditch. Mary was asleep on the armchair James had long ago vacated. Peter was shuffling through a deck of magical cards, asking anyone if they wanted to play exploding snap. Remus had almost finished his book, and he was watching the commotion build.

"I'm going to find her," James eventually said, and made for the door. He'd been pacing closer and closer to it since the shouting had stopped.

"Do you think that's wise Potter?" Remus asked, aware of what Lily's reaction would be to the boy. She'd been steely enough with _them_, and they were her friends. Not to mention the fact that the whole incident would just come to mind the moment she saw him.

"I have the best knowledge of the castle, it's past curfew, I won't have any trouble hexing Snape if he gets nasty. That and I need to apologise," James explained quickly.

"James Potter, what have you become?" Marlene giggled.

"A man in love!" Peter replied, as a double 6 exploded under his hand. Marlene had agreed to join him in a game; as had Sirius.

James waved them all off as they laughed, and headed for the exit.

He had half expected Lily to be curled up beneath the portrait, but she wasn't. There was no sign of Severus either, which was only ever a good thing. Pulling the un-perfected marauders map from his pocket, James whispered "I solemnly swear I am up to no good" and the ink entwined itself into an image. Filch was two corridors away, Severus was in his common room with Regulus, it appeared that everyone bar Sirius, Peter, Remus, Marlene and Mary had gone to bed - but where was Lily? Running down two staircases and missing a trick step to avoid Filch, James stole another few minutes to survey the map. She didn't seem to be anywhere. He thought about the tower in which she'd cried before – the one in which she had escaped from the world. He ran there, but to no avail.

Looking down at the map he wondered if she was in the Room of Requirement. It was unplottable (though they had tried), but when he checked there, again there was no sign of her. Giving up on the map all together, he decided to scour every inch of the castle until he found her – maybe there were some places on the map which didn't show people? He wondered where she might be – probably not just sitting in a class room, that wouldn't have been a very Lily place to hide. Then it struck him – where else to mourn her friendship other than the place it died?

"Lily!" he breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm so sorry," Snape begged

"No you're not," Lily snapped.

"I am! I really am," he implored.

"It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends — you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?" He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking. "I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No — listen, I didn't mean —"

"— to call me Mudblood? But you call every one of my birth a Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

Playing it over in her head didn't seem to be helping. It just made her sadder and sadder. The sadness was like the moon over her head – it would be full soon, but then it would begin to wane, and one day she could hope it would be gone completely. Even if just for a night. She thought of Remus and how his entire life was structured around that moon and that pain. Her mind skipped to Severus and how the inevitable had finally happened – sorrowfully and harsh, but it had happened.

Narrowly missing Peeves and McGonagall who were in a heated discussion about trashing the Charms room, James sprinted as fast as possible to the entrance hall. There, he opened a gap in the doors, and slid through. Cold air hit him hard, but he had a jacket so he'd be alright. Down the pathway he'd travelled earlier that day he spotted a small silhouette, slumped against the tree near the great lake - her orange hair the only thing visible in the reflected moonlight.

"Lily," she jumped. Of course, Lily never broke rules, and here she was, way past curfew sight-seeing at the lake. She looked ghostly in the light, her sadness consuming her pretty face – sorrow in her emerald eyes.

"Oh, hullo James," she said numbly.

"How're you?" he asked, taking a seat in the cold, wet grass beside her.

"Cold," she said, and sure enough, as he edged closer, he saw her shiver slightly. Removing his jacket he placed it around her shoulders. She smiled gratefully. "But you'll be cold,"

"I'm a Quidditch player - we know how to endure the elements," he joked, though he _was_ freezing. There was silence for a while, as he waited for her to speak – he didn't want to push her. The lake looked skeletal in the dark – when the sun had been on it the ripples were welcoming, and he'd wanted to immerse himself in the cool water. Now they resembled bones with the white moonlight, growing as they moved closer to the shore, and lapping up the dark life of the sand. He thought it funny how the night can change such beauties.

"I told him not to talk to me anymore," she said after a while. "He told me I couldn't just do that, that I was his best friend, and that I can't just stop that with a few words. But he did it – he said the words. I told him that I haven't been his best friend since the minute the sorting hat put me in Gryffindor. That's not anyone's fault really – just the paths going in two different directions. Mine lead me here – his leads somewhere else. We… he was the person who told me I was a witch James. I grew up thinking I was just like everyone else, and he told me why I could do things and that though I was weird in the muggle world no one would think I was any different. And now… I guess he revoked that," she laughed darkly.

"Everyone's worried about you," he told her truthfully.

"Why?"

"Because you're not crying," James admitted with a laugh. She looked at him.

"Surely that's a good sign?" she shrugged.

"Oh, I don't know. I guess we just care about you," Lily lay her head against James' shoulder.

Silence again.

"James?" she whispered,

"Yes Lily?" he kept his voice even.

"It was him who attacked me, wasn't it?"

"Yes," he nodded. Underneath his coat she shuffled.

"I thought so,"

"You did?"

"About a week after the accident,"

"But you never told?" James asked.

"He was my best friend. Plus, if he got expelled, he'd an easier target for Voldemort," she muttered. "I think it's already too late," Lily had tears on her face. They dripped onto James' shoulder and warmed his skin.

"Nothing's too late. What did you tell me last year? He'll choose the right side when it matters," James assured her – wondering why he was standing up for the slimy sod.

"It already matters James. He's already failed," the tears were flowing freely now.

"I know." And he did. He understood what it was to be betrayed by the one person who vowed never to do that – it hurt more than anything else in the world, and it was almost impossible to forgive. James had only been betrayed once – Severus had done it multiple times, and each time she'd forgiven him, told herself it wasn't a betrayal – but it was too far now.

"I should've seen it last year. When Avery… he told me it should've been him. I thought he meant to stick up for me like you did… not…."

"Why did you kiss him?" James asked. It had bugged him for over a year now - he had been the one who had stuck up for her, and yet she'd rejected him and went and kissed the boy who allowed her to be spoken to like that.

"I didn't. He kissed me. It was awful," she laughed wearily.

"Well, you _had_ just kissed me," James laughed. "Anything would be worse in comparison," she hit him lightly on the arm. It was just a playful hit.

"It's just… if he hadn't chosen that path… I might've loved him," she admitted.

"No you couldn't Lily," she looked at him. "You're amazing, and wonderful and talented. But above all of those things you're… kind and compassionate, and utterly amazed at every spec of beauty you see in this world. Severus was none of those things really. He always brought you down," she didn't say anything after that. She nuzzled into his arm and sobbed, totally still and totally silently. The only way James knew the tears were coming was because he could feel them through his shirt. Hiccups and coughing came and passed, and she fell asleep as the horizon hinted at morn. Picking her up in his arms, he carried her up the path, through the entrance hall, up through the corridors and into the common room. Marlene and Sirius were asleep on the couch, Peter, Remus and Mary had obviously gone to bed before they'd passed out.

Aware that he couldn't carry her to the girl's dorm, James carried her up to his own, pulled back the quilt of his own bed and let her curl up against the pillows. James himself crashed on Sirius' bed, which was so warm and comfortable compared to the cold wind of the night that he was asleep before he could even think of putting pyjamas on.

Lily awoke to a smell that was similar to that of amortenia. That was weird, she thought. Maybe Mary has sprayed some new potion about to liven the dorm up. But something struck her - why was she wearing a boy's jacket in bed? Specifically, why was she wearing James Potter's favourite leather jacket in bed? She sat bolt upright, to see Remus Lupin looking down at her with a smirk on his face.

"Morning Lily," he smiled and wrapped his own jacket around his waist. He looked pleased with himself.

"Remus, where am I?" but she knew as soon as she'd asked.

"You're in James' bed," she must have looked horrified, because one look at her face and Remus added, "Oh no, James slept in Sirius' bed… though not with Sirius. I think the only people who have been sharing sleeping quarters is Marlene and Sirius. Don't tell Peter, it'd crush him,"

"So, why am I in James' bed?" Lily questioned – unsure why she wasn't actually in her own.

"Beats me. James went out for a run the second he woke up. It's a habit of his. He's in the shower now, so if you wait a tick you could ask him for yourself," Remus informed her. He looked as though he might've stuck around if she'd asked him to, but she told him to go and get some food.

"Thank you Remus," and he went down to get breakfast. Lily couldn't believe she was in James Potter's bed - the single place she had vowed never to end up. Maybe Severus was right - maybe it was SHE who was changing and ruining their relationship. But no, it hadn't been her who had shouted mudblood. She couldn't blame herself anymore.

True to Remus' word, James opened one of the doors just off the dormitory with a cloud of steam, wrapped in a long towel around his waist. He was using a smaller towel to dry his messy hair. Contrary to what she'd said yesterday down by the lake she loved his hair like that. As he saw her seeing him he dropped his hands and looked like a stag in the headlights.

"Oh, Lily. Sorry! I didn't think you'd be up," he blushed and ran over to his trunk to pull out some clothes. Lily saw a strange looking cloak – the invisibility cloak and a number of things she assumed were probably on Filch's banned list - but James had shown her kindness so she wouldn't say anything.

"It's okay. I'm sure there are many girls who would like to be seeing this," she laughed, and so did he.

"Oh, tonnes," he replied sarcastically. How strange- where's the arrogance? It was almost as though she'd woken up in a backwards world. "I'll just…" and he went back into the bathroom to change.

He emerged again wearing a red jumper and some black trousers; he pushed his hand through his damp hair, only this time it didn't annoy her. He smiled at her. Walking into the end of the bed she assumed to be Peter's, he grinned and pulled his glasses from his pocket and onto his face.

"Why am I in your bed?" was her first question.

"Well, you fell asleep on me last night by the tree, and I can't get into the girl's dorm, and Sirius and Marlene were asleep on the sofa (only, don't tell Pete) so it was either my bed or the floor," he smiled again. "I didn't think you'd want to contaminate yourself with Sirius' sleeping quarters,"

"Well, thank you for your hospitality," she smiled.

"No problem," he grinned.

"Strange," she commented.

"What's strange?" he questioned her.

"I don't even want to shout at you," Lily laughed. "You'd think… I mean, you were a total arse yesterday, but…"

"I am so sorry," he said sincerely. "If I'd have known…"

"I know," she smiled. "It's going to be weird – going back to Cokeworth and not having Sev to spend time with,"

"Well, we could all meet up occasionally?" James offered, attempting and failing to sound casual.

"I think I would like that," Lily admitted. They stared at each other for a while, until Lily realised that whilst James had showered and changed, she had just woken up in day old clothes, and probably looked as though the hairbrush hadn't been invented yet.

"Thanks for listening to me and your jacket and everything… I'll see you round?" and then Lily Evans did the strangest thing. Pushing the covers off her and roughly making the bed, she walked towards James Potter and stopped when she reached him. Lifting herself on her tiptoes, she planted a kiss on his cheek, muffled a thank you and left the dorm.

When she had allowed herself a half hour shower, she dressed, brushed her hair and met the Gryffindors in the Great Hall. James grinned at her. They all asked how she was, and she answered them truthfully – raw, but feeling okay. It was the feeling you get after falling asleep whilst crying and waking up. Horrible, but refreshing. She helped herself to many croissants. After locking herself in her dormitory all evening yesterday, she'd gotten quite hungry. Snape was over at the Slytherin table. Lily didn't notice him, a fact of which _he_ noticed with sadness.

Ophelia skipped over to them and smiled.

"Where were you at dinner yesterday?" she asked Lily sweetly.

"I wasn't… really hungry," Lily lied.

"You're lying – I can tell," Ophelia accused. "What happened? Exam go badly?"

"Actually, it went perfectly," Lily smiled. "I er… Severus and I are no longer friends,"

"What? Why?" Ophelia gasped. She rather liked Snape, as he'd helped her with her skill.

"He called her a… mudblood," James spat.

"He did what?" Ophelia screamed. "You can't be serious,"

"No, that's me," Sirius said with a laugh. Everyone glared at him – the amount of Sirius/serious jokes that boy made was unparalleled.

"Yes – he did. In front of the entire fifth year," Mary said sadly. Suddenly the entire group of them felt an overwhelming anger rising in them. They all knew, of course, that it was not their own anger – Lily could even taste the emotion as foreign. No one got angry quite like Ophelia did. The looked at her soothingly, calming their own feelings in an attempt to cool her down. It was the first time she'd spilled the emotion on to anyone for months now.

"Sorry!" the girl squeaked. "I just can't believe he…"

"I know," Lily said kindly. "But it's done. There are better things to think about," Like James Potter coming out of the bathroom in a towel – she thought to herself.

"Why are you embarrassed, Lily?" Ophelia asked.

"What?"

"You're feeling embarrassed – did you just have a weird thought?" Ophelia continued. Lily felt herself going red, avoiding James' eyes.

"What? I don't understand!" James laughed. "Are you imagining me in a towel?" Lily blushed harder.

"She is!" Ophelia laughed. "Merlin, Lily!"

"Wait, when did you see James in a towel?" Marlene asked. "Can I get a picture?"

The last fortnight of the school year brought sadness to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The walls would see something which they hadn't seen in years. Death would be seen – it wouldn't be the first, or sadly the last that would occur at the school, but it would be the first battle of a war that no one expected to show up on their doorstep. Someone would die because of their own weaknesses and their own braveries. A weapon would be lost, and things would change forever.

Lily Evans was approaching the Great Hall, surrounded by friends on the day it happened. They had spent the day doing introductions to their lessons for the following year – the majority of them held out in the sunlight. Though she was slightly sunburnt, she was happy – she had her friends around her. Friends that didn't call her names, or insult her. Friends that found her in the cold, or waited up at night to see if she was okay. She was also hungry – but this emotion wasn't as strong. Ophelia was with the group of fifth years, happily discussing why House Elves are great guys to take with you on a night out in the Leaky Cauldron.

Severus Snape was emerging from the dark undergrounds of the Slytherin common room. He was alone, and he spotted Lily, walking and laughing at a joke Mary had just told. He'd seen her like this numerous times since the incident a week prior and had never had the nerve to go and ruin her happiness. But he needed to tell her that he was sorry – that he'd stop hanging around with the friends she deemed Death Eater worthy. He stepped forwards, collecting bravery in his heart – it wasn't something he was familiar with, though one day it would become him.

"Lily!" he called out across the entrance hall. Students were milling around, walking to their lunches or dropped off their bags after lessons. Lily stopped dead at the sound of the voice. Ophelia stiffened immediately. "Lily, can I talk to you?"

"No," she said sternly. "No you cannot,"

"Please, you need to understand," Severus begged. James, Sirius, Remus, Ophelia, Marlene and Mary all stood uniformed together. They each wore the same hard look of hatred.

"I already understand Snivellus," Lily spat. "I understand and I don't care,"

"But-" he started. James stepped forwards.

"Oi – greasy, she's not interested in talking to you, okay? You said all you have to say!" he shouted.

"I didn't mean to say it!" Severus shouted back. "It's your bloody fault Potter,"

"What? It's my fault that you insulted the one person in the entire world that cared whether you were hurt or not? Literally – the only person who cares about you. That's not my fault Snivellus, that's your own stupid mistake," James spat, true anger enraging his face.

Ophelia felt the tension rising in the room – anger and hate was spilling out of everyone. Mixed with hurt and sadness as Lily watched Severus Snape, Ophelia fought to control it. These were the social situations that she sought to avoid – in a school with hormone driven teenagers it was a hard feat – but she managed it. Today she thought, was something different. Today there was no stopping this fight, because there was so much hurt and so much jealous, hatred, sadness, envy, despair, loss and fear.

James stepped forwards again – no one stopped him. He pulled his wand from his robes and glared pointedly at Severus Snape. James shouted a curse at Severus, who blocked it and threw one his way. Flashes of magic light up the hall, and none of the group, nor the students who had stopped walking to watch the fight, decided to stop this. Ophelia felt herself rise with blood lust – she wanted the fight – she wanted to hurt them, and to save her friends. She felt the emotions of everyone in the room and they became her own. The genius of sorrow that she was, she turned the pain and doubled it – turning it over inside her heart until it shook out and shattered the boundaries of her control. James had been hit with something – Lily and Sirius were worried. Snape was triumphant. The room suffocated in her emotions.

Suddenly chaos became all. Slytherin's approached – Regulus Black lurched at Sirius, whose wand was still in his pocket. In her mind Ophelia envisioned the circle around her, but now it consumed the entire room. Every student around felt the anger and it became them – there would be no stopping this stream of recycled emotion. She was the spring in which it was born – the anger, hate, hurt, jealousy and she fed it to them all, they ate it, gobbled it, unable to stop. The more they felt it, the more there was for her to consume, and to create. The world was a war ground.

Lily had found Emmeline, and she was skilfully protecting herself and attacking her back. It was almost evenly matched when Donna Shacklebolt and Charlotte Parkinson turned on the red head. She stopped them all – not a curse hit her. James fought with Severus – their own battle the most consuming of them all. Fists crashed into faces, blood spilled, people screamed. Wands were waved and dropped and stolen – the fight was unstoppable. She was the source of it all.

Pain spread and she screamed – around the room hundreds of aches and sores were made and they all ripped her apart from the inside out. Her screams echoed, and anguish radiated from her skin.

A boy spotted her. He was older than James and Lily – he had dark eyes – hating eyes – an ugly brow and hunched shoulders. Pushing through the crowd, this strange boy felt the ripples of anger coming from her. He knew her as the source of the pain, and there was nothing she was going to do to stop him ending it. Towering over the girl he took his wand out of his pocket. He recognized her as the source – he knew her as the mother of all pain and anger. The school ripped itself apart around them, and he stepped forwards his wand out.

Lily heard a scream. There had been one hundred people screaming in fear and pain but this was like nothing she'd ever heard. It was a scream of death. Spinning on her heel, she saw Ophelia in a horrifying green light, crumpling to the floor. There was only one curse that Lily knew that could create such a light. The room stiffened around. Diving forwards Lily rushed to see her friend – she felt so weak, and so hurt. Behind her three hexes met and hit her in the back. She felt blood, but her own pain was nothing compared to that of the scream.

The room was silent now – every fighting person stopped – the anger had been washed out of the room. Something dramatically wrong had happened – nothing could have stopped Lily from pushing away gawking students to reach the small pile of black hair and pale skin on the floor. Her face looked so soft against the cold stone – she looked peaceful. Lily fell down, a scream tore out of her mouth. She felt hands on her back, a voice saying her name over and over. Crawling forwards against the cold and brutal ground she reached the body. Pulling it into her lap, she cradled the girl – she had been a sister to Lily – the sister that Lily had lost.

The panic and heart wrenching pain was all her own. She sobbed onto the face of the younger girl. Footsteps came and tried to remove Lily from the girl, but she wouldn't budge. If she were to look up, the red head would see McGonagall's tout and horrified expression, Dumbledore's unthinkable sadness, and James Potter hiding his own grief to take her own. Lily couldn't move. Not now – she couldn't leave Ophelia, cold and alone on this stone floor, surrounded by a hundred wounded. When she looked at the girl she looked different – she was herself, without the change of the nose she didn't like, without the redder than average lips or the taller than normal legs. She was simply a twelve year old girl, who had held the sadness and anger of the world inside her tiny, un-beating heart.

At some point someone forced everyone bar Lily, James, Mary, Remus, Peter, Sirius, Marlene and Severus in the hall. They were to stay there until someone came and questioned them all on what on earth had happened. But there was nothing they could do – no one they could punish – because the anger and loss of control had not been their own. The genius of sorrow had already been punished. Lily wished she could've been there and held her – told her that it would be alright – that she'd stay by her side until it was over. She had been elsewhere, Ophelia had been alone.

In the end it was Dumbledore who managed to make Lily stand and walk her over to an empty room. He instructed James to stay with her, whilst he saw to damage control. A student had died. Lily sat feeling empty as the room she was in. James sat with her silently, stroking her hair. They listened to the whispers of the cold wind through the windows. It was an hour until McGonagall came to find them – they were both sat exactly as they had been when they were left there.

"Lily, I have a potion for the shock," McGonagall said, handing the wide eyed girl a small vial of potion. Lily took it, confused, unstopped it and swallowed the contents whole. "This whole thing is just awful. You two were close to Miss Finnely, weren't you?"

"She's our friend," Lily said mistily.

"She's dead, Lily," James whispered, his hand still soothing her hair. "She's dead,"

"That whole situation – from what we believe your fight with Mr Snape's actions in calling Lily… it upset Ophelia, and she lost control. Her condition was so strong that it simply broke free of her. Neither of you is being punished. Her parents are being called. They will floo in tonight – they want to meet you both,"

"Why?" James asked. His voice was strong when inside his heart had shrunk with pain. Lily had been wondering the same thing, and he'd asked for the both of them.

"Because for many years Ophelia found it hard to have friends – they say Lily changed that. Are you feeling up to it, Lily?"

"Who used the killing curse?" Lily asked.

"What?" McGonagall asked, considering her question. For a second James didn't think that she'd even answer, but something changed and she nodded. "That was a seventh year who shall remain unnamed. He is going to be trailed at the ministry – it's an unprecedented situation because of her power," she told them. "He was not a death eater, just someone who knew the spell and had enough anger to use it in that moment,"

"This is… Where's Dumbledore?" James asked.

"Talking to the school. He is explaining about the circumstances of her condition that led this to happen," McGonagall answered. James sighed beside Lily, making her jump.

"Is anyone hurt?" Lily asked.

"There are about twenty people in the hospital wing. You yourself will have to be checked over," McGonagall told them.

"I don't want…"

"They can heal you, Lily," James implored.

"No they can't. I want to heal like a muggle," Lily said. "I want it to scar – as a reminder,"

"Lily you can't punish yourself," James told her.

"It's my fault… I should have-" she stuttered. James pulled her into a hug and whispered into her ear.

"It's not your fault," he assured her.

"Miss Evans – you did so much for that little girl. There is not one thing or action that could be done that could've saved her," McGonagall said sternly, though a hint of sadness touching her otherwise hardened exterior.

"We could get a time turner… or…"

"Time can't be changed so drastically," McGonagall said. "Now, I've been asked to escort you up to the headmaster's office," the pair nodded and followed aimlessly.

At some point during their wait for the Finnleys to arrive James had taken Lily's hand in his own. They were sat at the headmaster's desk – he was surveying the numerous magical objects that littered the desk; distracting himself with wondering what they did – she was staring at the portraits dreamily. The shock had gone, but the pain had not. There was nothing he could do, but hold her hand softly and safely.

Professor Dumbledore walked in, accompanied by Professor McGonagall. They both looked as though they'd aged forty years in the past two hours. The old man approached the fireplace and put his hand on a small glass ball. The image of a girl flew up in it – a girl wearing glasses with her hair in pigtails – wide eyed and miserable looking.

"Only once in 100 years has there been a death at Hogwarts," he said. "Then, like now, we were unable to punish fairly. For there is no fair punishment for murder. Some may say the dementor's kiss, others would disagree. You taught Ophelia to control her magic, didn't you Lily?"

"And Severus Snape," Lily answered slowly.

"She is not gone from us forever Lily," he said sadly. "And unfortunately she is not the last or first victim of this war,"

"I want to fight," James said strongly. "I'm going to fight in the war, Professor,"

"I'm glad you still say that, James. You have a spirit like your father," Dumbledore smiled, though meekly. "You are welcome to fight with us…"

"Albus, the boy is a bit young to be fighting with the order!" McGonagall interjected.

"For now. But he won't be. And Voldemort doesn't care for age – so much is obvious from the behaviours of some of our students," Dumbledore said. "But when the time comes, James, I would be happy to fight alongside you,"

"I want to fight too," Lily squeaked. "I'll fight with this order thing…"

"Then the order will have gained two fantastic members. But for now we needn't worry of fighting. It is a time to heal our hearts and minds," there was a puff of smoke in the fireplace, and two people stepped out of it. The first was an oldish looking man, with a thick moustache, and gaunt eyes. The second was a distraught woman, clutching a small piece of wood to her chest. Lily looked up sadly – she saw Ophelia's nose on him, her hair on her.

"Mr and Mrs Finnley," Dumbledore said. "Please, sit –" he offered, conjuring two chairs from the end of his wand. "What has happened today was a tragic accident,"

"Is this Lily?" the lady asked, her voice shaking with sorrow. Lily nodded.

"I am Lily," she replied in a voice so similar to the woman's it was scary.

"You were her friend," the woman said looking into her wide green eyes. Lily nodded again.

"Yes,"

"She spoke of you often. You gave her friends, and control over her magic, and happiness. I am… we both are so thankful to you. Alone she barely lived a life at all – with you she…" the woman's voice cracked. "…she was happy," the woman's husband wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to him. Her sobs died in his jacket.

"I am a muggle – I don't understand half of this magic stuff. But, you did – you were the only one who helped her. At the last day of the Christmas holidays she told us that school was like her second home now. She used to hate it – would cry and cry unless we'd agree to let her stay at home, where she had us. You share our grief,"

"She was like a sister to me," Lily sobbed. "Her laugh…"

"The little giggle that meant she was up to something?" Mr Finnley said. "That is my own laugh," she smiled.

"She was a fantastic witch, and an even better human being," Lily said with a shattered voice. There were tears drenching her face.

"She shall not go unremembered," James vowed.

"James?" Mr Finnley asked. James nodded. "She said that you and Sirius would steal food for her from the kitchens,"

"Her favourite was the custard tarts," James recalled.

"My wife used to bake them for her on her birthday," the man remembered. He took the small wooden plank from his wife and turned it around to show that it was actually a photo-frame. Inside was a moving photo, of Ophelia standing with Lily, Emmeline, Mary, Marlene, James and Sirius – Remus had taken the photo. It was after the Gryffindor's had won the Slytherin match. Mary had said she wanted a picture with the future captains of the England team, and Lily had pulled Ophelia into it. That was only three months ago – their smiling faces were care free and alive. Lily looked away.

"I am excruciatingly sorry for you loss," James said. "If there's anything you need…"

"Her wand…" Mrs Finnley cried. "She needs to be buried with her wand,"

"Of course," Dumbledore said. From his pocket he brought out the black wooded wand that Lily knew as Ophelia's. The woman took it and put it in her own pocket.

The rest of the night was spent with McGonagall escorting the pair to the Hospital Wing where they were both checked over. Lily had some damage done to her left arm, but otherwise she was fine. James was in worse nick, but Holloway fixed him up and the pair was able to return to their common room with a vial each of dreamless sleep. Lily doubted they would have been so easily allowed to leave if every bed was not taken up by the severely hurt. James didn't leave her side once.

For a week Lily and James sat in silence with the rest of the Gryffindors. It seemed funny that once this place had actually seemed alive without Ophelia in it; way back before she knew the girl. Everywhere they turned they saw reminders of her – the armchair she sat in and spilt ink on whilst doing her charms essay – a pair of her shoes – the origami swans she created out of spare parchment lay everywhere. It was the morning of the memorial service when Lily woke up, put on her black robes and went down to the common room when she found a little paper swan. There had been eyes drawn on it. Lily smiled.

James sat outside with the rest of the students with his wand was in his lap. Dumbledore was giving a speech about the bravery of fear, and McGonagall had just spoken on what Ophelia was like to be around. It seemed wrong – everyone wore black – he would've had them wearing purple, like the colour of her eyes. Lily hadn't shown up, which he was shocked about. He thought she'd have wanted to say goodbye. She'd hate it anyway – he thought to himself. It's not very Ophelia.

Birds were singing over Dumbledore, but everyone heard every word he said. There were two second years sobbing two rows behind them. The sun was shining, and flowers were everywhere. When a thousand paper birds fell out of the sky, everyone gasped. They fluttered in the wind, propelled by magic, as they flew around the students. Ophelia's paper swans stole the entire view of the day – even Dumbledore stopped talking to smile and appreciate the beauty of the things. Everyone looked up to see where the swans were coming from – even against the bright sun, James could see a flash of red hair and purple robes standing on the roof.

Before he could convince himself that he'd imagined it, Lily jumped from the roof. James' stomach flipped, until he realised that she was sat on a broom and not being suicidal. She lowered herself down until she was hovering over the crowd, and used some sort of spell to turn every person's robes purple. Landing lightly on the floor, Lily smiled.

"Sorry professor, can I?" Lily asked. Dumbledore nodded, a glint in his eye. "Ophelia Finnley was someone that barely any of you knew. But you probably all met her. When I first met her she looked just like James Potter. I saw her change her form into hundreds of different people. Ophelia was everyone. She was you, and me, and even Dumbledore once. But most importantly, she was kind – she cared about people. She was funny, and beautiful, and entirely too young to meet a fate like hers. She made paper swans too. There's enough for everyone to have one – and I want you to keep them all as a reminder that wars happen. People are love can be taken from us unwillingly. Ophelia was one of these people. Never should you voluntarily lose a friend, when there are wars like this one to steal them from you. Every time you see this little parchment swan I want you to think of her – a girl who was exactly like you and me, but who felt the pain of all of us. She knew every single one of your from the happinesses you felt. And for that we remember her – because she was beautiful and fantastic and did everything in her power to stop her friends feeling the pain that inevitable from the world,"

After the service, the students milled around on the lawn talking to each other, and getting ready to say goodbye – tomorrow they would be departing from Hogsmeade station, and returning to Platform 9 ¾. Not all of them would return, as it was their last year here. Friends ran around smiling in their purple robes. Lily stayed with James – as she had done since the accident, until she spotted someone in the crowd.

"I'll be right back," she whispered to him. He nodded and watched her walk over to Emmeline. From his distance away from them, he couldn't hear what they were saying, but they both started crying and hugging at one point. James sighed and walked over to the lake. He saw Hagrid and Fang running around by the far shore.

"James," someone said – it was Dumbledore. "What a show, eh?"

"It was beautiful – Fin would've loved it," James admitted.

"Lily returned your broom?" the professor asked.

"After a good shouting at," James joked.

"There's something you want to ask me, isn't there?" Dumbledore said.

"A lot,"

"Go ahead,"

"… during the fight I was terrified. I was so scared, in a way I've never been before," James said.

"Of course you were – your friends were fighting, and you yourself felt the vehemence in which they fought. It was not your own fear though – but hers," he assured the boy.

"I didn't think Gryffindors got scared," James mumbled.

"Of course they do, you silly boy. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear," Dumbledore said. "James, one does not have to be in Hufflepuff to be loyal, nor Ravenclaw to have smarts, Nor Gryffindor to be brave, nor Slytherin for ambition,"

"What is the order?" James asked.

"Alas – that is an answer for another time,"

It was on the train home that James and the marauders perfected the map. It was a simple spell that James had made up in order to attach itself to the magical quill that registers new pupils – that way it would continue plotting the new students automatically each year. They replotted some of the places that seemed to have become uncharmed and suddenly the map was perfect – though they'd have to wait the entire summer to use it again.

Lily had become civil with Emmeline again; though she wasn't invited to the party James was throwing over the summer. The Gryffindors all agreed that they would have to meet up and go to Diagon Alley together – James even suggested that he might invite Lily to France if she wanted. The space where Ophelia sat lay empty, and though they missed her, their fifth year mischief had been managed.


	11. Chapter 11

**Sixth Year**

Rain was in Sirius' hair. Over his shoulder was slung his Nimubs 1500, his trunk held a small bag of money, a minimal collection of clothes, the two way mirror, and little else. In his hand, concealed slightly from the London muggles, was his wand. His face bore two bruises – one on his eye, the other below his chin. Both were sore and bloody, but he hadn't had time to clean them before his father came around. His mother had wailed at him, Regulus had just sat there and watched him leave. There was something lost about his brother that made Sirius want to pick him up and take him too. But he'd never leave – Regulus would never leave.

Thoughts came to him – he could go to the leaky cauldron, get a job in Diagon alley and stay there until Hogwarts started. It wouldn't be much, but it would be better than the noble and most ancient house of Black. A thousand thoughts crossed his mind, and only one stuck. He could go and find relatives. He could confound a muggle into letting him stay in their hotel for free. But after every thought came James. James will help him.

It was with a deep breath that he held out his wand into the road, and awaited the Knight Bus. It came with a growl that the drunkards didn't notice, and he hopped on, paid the fee and told them James' address. He was soaking wet, freezing cold and bloody, so it was no wonder than Ernie Rhodes; the conductor, gave him a funny look. Two elderly witches were allowed off first, one in Godric's Hollow, another Diagon Alley. Sirius was the last on the bus, but he only had to wait ten minutes until the bus stopped outside James' manor house.

Sirius stepped off of the bus and looked at the gates. Pushing them quietly open, Sirius allowed himself entrance, walked up to the door and knocked. It was Grace Potter who answered the door wearing a dressing gown and looking miffed that someone had obviously woken her. She saw Sirius and all at once embraced him in the kind of hug he had only ever known from her. Though he was wet, she held him like a son, invited him in and ordered the house elves to get them some hot chocolate. It was strange; Sirius thought in hindsight, that she didn't call for James or her husband immediately. She mothered him alone, as though he was hers, not just James'.

The woman gave him some ice and some dragon's blood for his bruises and fed him biscuits. Not once did she ask how they had happened – not once did she comment on his trunk, or his broom, or his soaking wet state. She simply saw to his injuries, both physical and emotional. After two hours, when his wounds were all but healed Grace showed him kindly to the room which the entire family considered to be his, and let him sleep there until two o'clock the next afternoon.

It was James who eventually came into his room, wielding a plate of toast and pumpkin juice. Sirius woke at the opening of the door, and forced his sore eye open. When he saw James the two just looked at each other, in a very humourless way. They were brothers, and the questions that had not been asked were unnecessary to ask – because James knew that Sirius would tell him if he wanted to, and Sirius knew that James didn't need to know what had happened. The bruises on his face were invisible accessories, inhibiting his facial expression, but disillusioned none the less.

"Mum made waffles, but they got cold. She'll probably make more if you want, but we're having this huge feast for tea," James explained happily as he sat at the end of his brother's bed.

"Merlin, Prongs – what time is it?" Sirius asked.

"Half two, but who's counting?" the other boy joked. Sirius gobbled up the toast and happily drank the pumpkin juice. "We're going to Godric's Hollow tomorrow, by the way,"

"Oh," Sirius muttered. "I'll be gone by then, don't worry,"

"Are you kidding? I am not going to that village alone!" James exclaimed. "Bathilda Bagshot keeps trying to give me stale lemon cake,"

"That does sound pretty horrendous," Sirius agreed. And just like that the Potters gained a new family member. For the rest of the summer the boys would live together, holiday with one another – Alex Potter insisted on buying Sirius' books and robes for Hogwarts – they visited neighbours together and the three Potters slowly managed to put Sirius Black together, piece by piece.

Lily had spent the first hour of the train journey crammed in the prefect's compartment, listening to the new Head Boy (Frank Longbottom) and overly enthusiastic Head Girl (Meg Diggory) discussing their roles for the upcoming year, and what their duties would be. As she had been a prefect for a year already, much of the information was not new to her, so she sat watching the city turn to fields, wondering when she could go and find her friends. Severus Snape sat across the compartment from her, but her eyes never strayed to him. Finally the lecture was done and they were allowed to leave. Patting Frank on the back in congratulations, she followed Remus down the other end of the train. The Gryffindor's would probably be sat together anyway.

"Meg's a bit…" Lily started, unsure how she planned on finishing the sentence. Meg had been a prefect last year, though neither of them had spoken to her. She was very enthused by her new role and had interrupted Frank at every opportunity.

"Enthusiastic? She's a hufflepuff though – this might be the first hufflepuff head girl ever," Remus said with laughter. It was unlike him to poke fun at anyone, but it _would_ make sense.

"She seems nice enough," Lily smiled.

"Don't worry Evans, it'll be you next year," a familiar voice joked from behind. Whilst this time last year Lily may have shot him a sour look and stormed off, she felt their friendship had grown over the last few months. Grinning Lily turned to see James – he hadn't changed since he'd seen her last, but then again that had only been a week ago, when they had all met up in Diagon Alley to shop and catch up. The shock of the end of term was still fresh to Lily, but the sadness that had been evident on the boy's face had all but faded. He beaconed them both into the compartment, where the majority of their friends were sitting around.

"Oh no, I very much doubt that Potter. I reckon it'll be Mary next year. She wants it the most," Emmeline looked up and saw Lily. She smiled awkwardly – since their lapse in friendship at the end of the last term they hadn't been as close as they had once been, though sometimes one of them would forget it and say something almost normal. That was the hardest thing, Lily thought, remembering how everything had been. They had only rekindled their friendship at the death of one of Lily's very close friends, which had encouraged her not to let anyone she cared about go. That did not count for Severus though – she reminded herself bi-daily.

"Oh yeah, Mary's been crazy about that since 4th year. Hi Lil," she said kindly.

"But Evans has been crazy since birth," James said. Lily laughed in response and hit him lightly on the arm.

"Wait, you're not going to kill him for that?" Peter said, as shocked as everyone else in the compartment. Mary looked actually concerned.

"Not really – he's only joking," Lily rationed.

"Only slightly," James laughed, and again Lily said nothing. Sirius looked completely confused.

"Is this the real Lily Evans, or is it some Slytherin using Polyjuice?" Emmeline asked seriously.

"Calm down guys, it's me!" Lily exclaimed.

"Prove it," Sirius said firmly, his eyes squinting suspiciously at her.

"Err- James Potter doesn't taste like chocolate," is the first thing that came to mind. When she'd realized she'd said that out loud she flushed a bright red colour, Emmeline who was probably the only one present who understood what she was going on about was in hysterics, and vouched that the girl in front of them _really was _Lily Evans. Sirius looked to Peter who looked to Remus who looked to James. James was as confused as all of the boys and demanded an explanation as to what this meant. It was Emmeline who eventually caved and told him the truth, leaving a dishevelled Lily in the corner, dying with embarrassment.

"Well, when you and Lily kissed…" ["Which time?" "The second time?" "When was that?" "I don't know… I lose count," "Shut up Potter," "That's our Lily!"] "she told us all about it (eventually), and the first thing Mare asked was: Did he taste like chocolate, which apparently you don't. Though you are a much finer kisser than Snape and that Hufflepuff kid who kissed Lily in third year,"

"And Amos," Lily added, though not quite sure why. The look on James' face was weird, and Lily couldn't understand it. He was half smiling, half not.

"When did you kiss Amos?" Sirius asked.

"Oh, a couple of days ago I realized I was completely out of robes that fit me, so I had to go to Madam Malkin's, where I bumped into Amos Diggory, who I joined for an ice cream, and he walked me to the robe shop and kissed me. It was more than a bit unexpected and disturbing. I already told him that I don't want to be his girlfriend though, because it's Amos, and that's weird," Lily explained.

"I swear him, Donna and Gilderoy have a weird threesome going on," James laughed.

"Oh, that's wrong!" Emmeline chuckled.

"I have one question," Remus said. "Why was the fact that James doesn't taste like chocolate the first thing out of your mouth?" Lily went redder than she had ever thought possible.

"I just … really… want some… chocolate," Lily stuttered, and thankfully spotted the Trolley heading towards her. She jumped out of the corridor and ordered a handful of chocolate frogs, wishing the trolley attendant to take as long as possible. She stood there for a second, allowing the air to cool her face from its deep shade of magenta. Unfortunately the Trolley lady had aced Trolley-Lady-Class and handed her back her money in record timing. It was all Lily could do before composing herself and going back to her friends.

Upon opening the compartment door she found the conversation matter had turned back to what Emmeline and Sirius had been in a heated discussion about before their arrival. That turned out to be whether being a hit wizard was a noble profession or not. Emmeline thought not, but Sirius told her to stop dissing his dreams.

Peter, who had always been strung on every word either James or Sirius said, fought valiantly with Sirius to say that some wizards _need_ to be killed, and you have got to have someone to do that, whereas Remus (possibly the most humane out of the group) sided awkwardly with Em, who voted that it was wrong. Their relationship had been rockier than hers and Lily's, but she was really working hard at not judging him. It was something – Lily credited her.

James Potter on the other hand, was sat out of the conversation, looking up at Lily with a kind of awe. She sat beside him (as it was the furthest seat away from the shouting) and handed him a chocolate frog. He accepted gratefully. He read the card casually, though his eyes didn't move.

"So Diggory, eh?" James hinted.

"Honestly, I don't know where he got the idea that I'd want to kiss him. I only went to speak to him because he looked so lonely," Lily sighed. "It's quite annoying,"

"Being kissed all the time?" James asked, munching on the head of a chocolate frog.

"Yes – especially when I _don't want_ to be kissed,"

"FIND YOUR HUMANITY BLACK!" Emmeline shouted.

"DON'T BLACK ME, YOUR MOTHER WAS A BLACK!" Sirius yelled.

"What did I taste like?" James whispered.

"Butterbeer," Lily admitted. She remembered it well. "That time,"

"Would you have _preferred_ chocolate?" James was smiling, but his voice was still low. It was a wonder she could hear him over all the shouting, until she realised that they were very close together now.

"Well, I do like chocolate," her eyes were unintentionally on his mouth. She remembered what it was like and was suddenly struck with how much she had missed him. She knew the contours of his lips like her own. And then she was leaning in, closing that infinitesimal gap that separated them, and pressing her lips to James' which were parted slightly in surprise. With the remains of the frog still on his mouth he _did_ taste like chocolate, and Lily thought she should tell Mary later. Except that there would be no need to tell anyone, because when she pulled back for air, and her eyes fluttered open to see James smiling at her, she realised that the compartment was silent but for the sound of the train on the tracks.

Then the door opened.

"Well Lily, I never thought I'd see the day you'd stoop so low," a painfully familiar voice said. She needn't have turned to see the owner: a tall, hook nosed, black eyed and haired boy with sallow skin and a book beneath his arm. "I came to tell you and Remus that we are to guide everyone to the carriages when the train stops, and instead I get to see you making a complete fool of yourself," Severus looked like he could punch James, who in turn looked very similar. His hands were in fists, one of which was gripped around his wand.

"Snivellus," Sirius warned, scared for him rather than angry at him. James rarely saw Snape in the last few weeks of the fifth year without wanting to hex him silly. All three of the marauders were ready to subdue James if it came to it. If that was the case, Lily thought she might just hex the boy herself.

"Don't worry Snape – I'll try not to contaminate James with my dirty blood," she retorted and stood up, shutting the glass door in his face. When he stormed off, Lily (without looking at anyone else in the compartment) grabbed her luggage and her owl and walked off wearily in the other direction. Severus was right – she had made a total fool of herself. Her and James had an unwritten contract that he wouldn't ask her out anymore. After Ophelia's death they had been each other's safety; neither of them should ruin that with romantic delusions.

A whole summer she had managed not to walk the five minute walk to his house, throw a rock at the window behind the house and wait for him to come outside. A whole summer she had contented to stay inside studying, or visiting her friends in London, or spending the days with her mother and Petunia (who wanted her there as much as she wanted to be there) as they planned the upcoming wedding. Now she felt rotten – why had she kissed Potter? Was it just to get back at Snape that she had attempted this friendship with the boy? Was she really that petty?

The train slowed down just as she stumbled upon Marlene, her new boyfriend Asher Coldman, Adam and his new girlfriend Vienna Pierro. Over the summer Marlene had used a potion to turn her hair blonde, which surprisingly suited her a lot more than its usual brown. She'd also explained to Lily that her and Adam had become so close over their flirting sessions that neither one of them had wanted to ruin it with a relationship – hence Asher and Vienna.

Not really wanting to talk, she slipped past the compartment and to the bathroom, where she quickly threw her Hogwarts robes (prefect badge and all), and joined the large groups of students jumping into the warm September air. Lily spotted Emmeline craning her head over the crowd, so she ducked between a huddle of tall nostalgic seventh years. She figured she was safe from his view behind these people, so she ushered everyone towards the carriages pulled by the invisible horses.

She saw all of her friends, bar Remus who was mirroring her own movements, taking a seat in a carriage, which (when full) slowly followed the others into the night sky. Sirius sat with Emmeline, Peter with Donna, Mary with Asher. Marlene sat next to a miserable looking fourth year Slytherin, pulling a similar face. She guessed the others had gone on without her. With her eyes searching the platform, seeing nothing but prefects, she was ready to head towards the castle herself, when a black silhouette through the train window caught her eye. Maybe a first year was having trouble with their bags?

Jumping through one of the doors, she scanned all of the compartments and saw no source of the movement. She would assume she had imagined it, but the shadow had been quite vivid and bulky- something no trick of the light could create. She turned to get off the train, and hopefully bag a seat next to Remus when she was hit in the stomach with a curse. Pain rippled through her, and tore at her nerve system. Somewhere very far away she heard a cackling laughter and her own piercing scream.

The pain stopped very suddenly with a flash of purple light. She caught her last scream in her throat, and forced her eyes open. She was lying on the floor of the train, and her head pounded. Just to her left she saw a mound of cloak collapse onto the seat and fall still. Attempting to sit up Lily felt her stomach roll with nausea and she fell back to the floor.

"Lily?" a worried voice called from above her. She barely recognized it, but it was there – worried and strong. She passed into the darkness before James Potter could pick her up in his arms.

When she woke up she was back on the platform, but she was alone. She looked over to the train and the shadow was back. Readying herself, she stood up, picked her wand from her robes and went back into the train. Pulling aside a curtain she hadn't been aware of before she dived onto the train and started hexing the place from which the shadow came from. When she finally got a look of the compartment there was an angry looking hippopotamus growling at her. James was riding the hippo happily, wearing a full tuxedo and top hat.

What a strange thing for James to be doing. She told him to get down off the hippo – it might be a death eater. But James calmed her and assured Lily that the hippo was not an evil one – that it just wanted to be their friend. Lily knew that couldn't be so right away. She didn't trust the giant grey thing, and refused to join James atop his mighty stallion. Annoyed, James jumped off the hippo and floated towards her – he was now a patronus. He was saying something to her that sounded like 'too late,' and he left the train. Lily glared at the hippo and chased him, but the creature followed her.

On the platform it was bright – really bright – and James was walking away – quite a distance from her. She ran forwards, but her legs thrashed against the concrete and refused to walk her anywhere. The hippo was laughing at her, saying the only way to travel was by hippo-back. Lily finally agreed to ride the hippo – she needed to get to James after all – and jumped on the things back. As soon as she did so however, the creature shrunk and turned to the body of a boy, kneeling. It was Snape. Horrified, Lily jumped off and ran for her life – this time catching James who took her face in his hands and leant in to kiss.

Healer Holloway was rather alarmed when his patient (far from behaving like a normal unconscious person) was leaning in towards him for a kiss as he attempted to take her temperature – James laughed out loud.

"She is a vivid dreamer. May I?" James asked; the healer didn't know what the boy wanted, but he back off of the girl. James stroked the side of Lily's face with his fingertips – just lightly. "Time to wake up, Lily," he whispered. The effect was identical to that of enervate. One minute her eyelids were shut and she was unresponsive and the next she flung her eyes wide open, sat bolt upright (head butting James in the process) and screamed out.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO TRUST THE HIPPO!"

"What?" he asked her with incredulous tones.

"You… the hippo… it was Snape…" she mumbled, falling back onto her pillow.

"It was a dream, Lily," James soothed her – his hand brushed softly though her hair as she caught her breath. "Just a bad dream,"

"How did you know it was bad?" Lily asked.

"You said Snape was in it. It was hardly going to be like one of the dreams you have about me," James laughed with a cheeky wink. Lily nudged him, though her head was spinning. "I'll get Holloway back," he told her and went off. She must be in the infirmary. James returned seconds later with the healer who insisted on looking over her. They didn't know what curse she'd been hit with, but it was better safe than sorry.

All the while, James waited patiently, twiddling his thumbs and mussing his hair in nervous anticipation. The more she was poked and prodded the more he would bounce his leg, or bite his lip. Finally she was cleared of any lasting physical damage and they were told that they could make it for pudding if they walked at a safe pace to the Great Hall.

"You feeling okay?" James asked as they left the hospital wing.

"I'm fine – just confused – what happened?" Lily questioned. She wasn't sure what she had dreamt or what was reality.

"Well, I waited behind because I wanted to talk to you away from everyone else – and I saw you go back onto the train, so I followed you. There was this cloaked figure there and you were withering, almost like the cruciatus curse, but not quite. So I attacked him, ran to you, but he'd gone by the time I looked up. I sent Prongs to Dumbledore, and carried you to a carriage," James explained to her as he led their way. When he stopped talking Lily realised that they weren't headed for the Great Hall.

"Where're we going?" she asked.

"To the kitchens – you'll need a proper meal," he told her. She smiled, glad that he couldn't see her face. That was actually quite considerate – all she'd eaten that day was a bowl of coco pops and a few chocolate frogs.

"Right – brilliant," she said as she followed him down the corridors. "So you didn't get a glimpse of the guy?"

"Or girl," James corrected her. "No, I didn't- it was awful, seeing you there like that,"

"It wasn't great fun for me either," Lily retorted.

"Why are you getting defensive at that?" James exclaimed. "Earlier I called you mental and not a beep – now I tell you that seeing you hurt literally broke every ounce of sanity I cling to and you try and start an argument?"

"I don't know… it's… the way you said it…" Lily attempted at an explanation, but none would come, and James had upped his pace to be walking a way ahead of her. She thought about the hippo/Snape and shivered.

"What? Made it sound like I hated seeing you at all?" James muttered sarcastically.

"Yes actually!" Lily shrieked. James stopped walking and spun. He looked down at her, eyes raw with emotion.

"Lily – when you are going to understand, that it's always going to be you that I will end up with?" James whispered. "We're brought together by a magic that scares me not to understand. But in the end – in the last few seconds of life that either of us will hold – it's going to be you, and it's going to be me,"

"James…"

"I know you think it too – how could you not? I tried… pushing you away last year when I thought you were in danger. I tried just being friends. But that's not us Lily – us as just friends is more wrong than the sun rising in the west. Tell me you don't agree," he begged. Slowly leaning forwards he closed the silent gap and kissed her. "Tell me I'm imagining it," he kissed her cheek bone. "Tell me you feel nothing,"

Her stomach rumbled. Suddenly James went from intensely serious, to barking out laughter. "Okay, I get it – the lady is hungry!" Lily blushed – but smiled at him. He returned it, and took it as a sign to slide his fingers through hers. Lily didn't pull away.

They had armfuls of leftover food from the feast in a little bag that James transfigured from a coat button, and they joined the throngs of Gryffindors heading up to their common room. Emmeline caught Lily's eye and mouthed "where were you?" but Lily just shrugged as if to say later. Throughout the trek (being shoved by numerous first and second years) James and Lily stayed together and though their hands were no longer intertwined they were held next to each other, occasionally brushing against one another.

They reached the common room and the first to third years all went off to bed – Sirius stole the sofa at once, before Frank Longbottom could sit on it to make out with Alice. James, Lily, Mary, Marlene, Emmeline and the other two marauders joined him around the fireplace – some in armchairs, some on each other's laps, and Lily and James with their picnic on the floor as James explained what had happened since their absence. Thankfully no one mentioned why Lily had ran off on her own, or why James had been so conveniently around to save her. Then it hit her – he'd wanted to talk to her – but what about? He hadn't mentioned it down by the kitchens or on the entire trek up, and when saying that he was worried about Lily, he glazed over the fact that he wanted to talk to her.

She was about to ask him about it when an unfamiliar person threw themselves on top of James. Far from being surprised about this occurrence, the marauder grinned and rolled about happily with the mysterious figure. Sirius was laughing too, though Lily was pleased to see that the rest of their group looked as confused as she felt. Had there been another Gryffindor they didn't know about?

"Hugo!" James laughed. "I wondered when you'd show up,"

"Dumbledore wanted to consult with me before I settled in," Hugo stole the space between James and Lily, and helped himself to a sandwich. He had golden blonde hair, and skin almost the same hue. When he looked at Lily she saw that his big blue eyes were smiling along with his pink lips.

"Hugo was private school up until now," James explained with a grin.

"I thought you looked a bit…" Mary pondered for the word. Lily could think of a hundred. "old… to be a first year,"

"So why are you transferring this year?" Remus asked.

"Sorry, but I feel awfully rude not knowing any of your names," Hugo said. He spoke with an accent that Lily couldn't place, though it was very well spoken and very like James. "I am Hugin Prosperous Dagwood – call me Hugo," he looked at Mary who blushed. "And who might you be?"

"Mary MacDonald,"

"Marlene Tolkien,"

"Not from THE Tolkien?"

"Yes," Marlene muttered bored – it was the first reaction from anyone familiar with the muggle novel written by her grandfather.

"Fantastic," Hugo said sincerely, grinning from ear to ear. A quick glance and James and Lily saw that he too wore the same excited grin.

"Emmeline Vance,"

"Peter Pettigrew,"

"Remus Lupin,"

"Sirius Black you ponce – we went camping last year," Sirius yelled at the boy, who laughed by throwing his head back in the same way that Sirius did.

"I was just kidding Sirius – and this must be the lovely and infamous Lily Evans?" Hugo asked, turning to her. She would be lying if she said she hadn't gone red. Nodding, Lily attempted a smile.

"I'm not sure about the adjectives, but yes, I am Lily," she mumbled.

"I've heard a lot about you," he informed her. Behind him, it was James' turn to blush.

"Well I can only hope to live up to my legend," Lily laughed.

"You already do," he smiled.

"So, Hugo – why the move?" Mary asked shyly.

"My father passed," Hugo said – his face had become somewhat reserved. "My mother had always wanted me to have a more mainstream education, but father insisted that it was the Dagwood way to be…"

"Raised by wolves," James interrupted.

"Partially – the wolves is a metaphor that James is using. I suppose you should all find out sooner than later that Dagwood; though a private family, is known for its interest in the dark arts," Hugo said. There was no sadness or embarrassment, nor pride or supremacy on his face – he was a blank canvas. This fact was neither a good thing, nor a bad thing – it was simply Hugo accepting his past. Lily thought about Sirius; rumour had it that he'd moved in with James over the holiday, though she hadn't had a chance to confirm this with either of the boys without sounding gossipy.

"You scared them," James laughed. "Anyway, where were we before I was attacked so rudely?"

Lily thought about what she'd wanted to ask him, but thought better of it. Something about the air had changed - that much was evident from everyone's expressions and body languages. Lily stretched.

"I think I might get to bed," she said. "Big day tomorrow,"

"Why, are you going to start revising for NEWTS?" Sirius joked. Lily hit him over the head.

"If you hadn't forgotten, I've been brutally injured today. Not two hours ago was I lying fatally ill in the infirmary!" Lily exclaimed. "Night,"

Lily went straight to her bed without packing, removing a pair of pyjamas only from her trunk. It appeared that Donna and Charlotte were having a muffiloed gossip on Donna's bed, so she wasn't disturbed until the morning sun woke her.

Hugo took the newly appeared bed in the boy's dorm, though got little sleep. James with the help of his friends were coaching the new boy in all thing Hogwarts – from which girls were untouchable (Lily and Emmeline) to which teachers don't mind if you're late (Kettleburn) – as a result of which the six Gryffindor sixth years woke up at 8 o'clock feeling groggy and tired. Remus vowed that only four cups of black tea would remedy this, and dragged them to the Great Hall.

Alert as ever at the start of a new school year (fresh parchment, new quills to dip into untouched pots of ink and the possibility of becoming a witch-genius), Lily was one of the first down to breakfast, croissant in hand. The five boys (Adam McKinnon had run off to see his girlfriend) joined her half-heartedly somewhat later than the rest of the school.

"Did you kill all of your dorm mates last night?" Sirius yawned, noticing that indeed, all of the girls were missing.

"It's the first day back," Lily reminded Sirius as some form of explanation.

"And that means that breakfast is unnecessary,"

"No – but it does mean that perfectly curled or straightened hair, brilliant and over the top make up and the slaggiest robes Madam Malkin could muster up is necessary," James joked – Hugo found this particularly funny.

"How was your first night?" Lily politely asked the new boy.

"Exhausting – these lads could be the spokespeople for Hogwarts," Hugo chuckled. Lily grinned.

"Tell me about it – on the train in first year Potter was going on about how Gryffindor is highly superior in every way,"

"This ranged from the houses – to the house elves, to the food, to the lessons, to the teachers, to the students, to the girls – we spoke about girls a lot – to the gits," Hugo explained as all of the boys dished out their breakfast.

"Snape?" Lily said sourly. Hugo looked up.

"How'd you guess?"

"Call it a hunch," she repeated with the same tone and ripped her croissant in half. "When do you think McGonagall will hand out our timetables?"

"Calm down Lil," Sirius teased. "A woman has to eat her musli,"

"I don't think Minerva is quite the musli woman, you know Padfoot?" James interjected. "I think more of a yoghurt and fruit lass,"

"Ahh, nooo," said Remus in a mimicking Scottish accent. "In the highlands it's the haggis for breakfast, lunch and dinner!"

"Haggis is actually one of my least favourite things Mr Lupin. My breakfasting consists of that which I find edible," McGonagall said as she stood over the boys, listening into their conversation.

"Sorry Professor…" Remus blushed.

"Timetables!" she announced. "Miss Evans-" she said and with a flick of her wand a piece of paper appeared in the air. Lily grabbed it and looked down. Double potions, lunch, charms, transfiguration – she noted happily. She went to look over the rest of the week, but the paper was rudely snatched out of her hands by James Potter.

"Identical timetables, Evans!" he informed her happily. Lily glared and stole her timetable back (along with his).

"No… I want to be an auror; you want to be a drop out," Lily fussed.

"Is she always this charming?" Hugo inquired.

"Oh you should hear her sonnet – Ode to Potter. 'James you're arrogant, But a fantastic chaser, Please make out with me…'" James laughed.

"That was a haiku dumbass," Lily muttered. James hadn't lied – their timetable was lesson for lesson the same. Fair enough she didn't hate James; in fact, it was probably fair to say that she did like him quite a bit, but he was a very… exhausting force in her day to day life. If he was to be there 24/7 she might have to rip her hair out (which he'd probably ask to keep to try out voodoo). "It's official – McGonagall has gone mad,"

"Why do you say that?" James asked concerned.

"She's helping you stalk me, and I don't agree with it!"

"Lily pad, you might be fit but I'm not going to take double potions just so I can watch you from the back of a classroom. I'd be lying if I said that wasn't a lucky bonus; but James Potter in not the moon that revolves around Lily Evans," James informed her. She felt her heart sink a little, so minutely so that she barely noticed it. "I too, am applying for the auror programme, if you must know,"

"What? Why?" Sirius demanded.

"Because my dad's making me apply,"

"Bullshit," Hugo called. "Alex wouldn't do that – he's not my dad,"

"I agree with Hugo," Peter chipped in. "I've met your dad and he's all for you being the youngest Quidditch captain in a century,"

"You're all awful friends, can we drop it? I have to go grab my potions book and then get to the dungeon. Coming Lily?" James offered, as he stood up to leave. Sirius and the other marauders looked perplexed. In truth Lily already had packed all of her books to avoid such a journey, but she wanted to grill James on what this was all about. That and what he wanted to talk to her about yesterday. Getting rid of her heavy and useless books would be a bonus.

"Sure thing," she agreed with a smile and wiggled out from the table.

"You already have your bag," Sirius pointed out, even more confused at the events unfolding.

"Shut it, Black," she said, whacking him over the head as she followed James from the hall.

James walked confidently, looking up ahead, but stealing the occasional look at Lily every few seconds. Eventually they caught each other's eyes between stolen glances and laughed.

"Potter, what did you want to talk to me about yesterday?" Lily blurted out, unaware that she had actually been so curious.

"I was going to start with small talk," James admitted, going somewhat red.

"Then hello, how're you?" Lily demanded.

"I'm great thanks, you?"

"Curious. Curious about what? I hear you ask. I am curious about what you wanted to talk to me about yesterday," Lily trailed off. James was laughing at her sadly. Suddenly the smile ended and he was looking at her seriously. It made her want to squirm.

"Lily… you know… can we not do this here?" James asked.

"Do what? I don't know what is being done," Lily vented. Grabbing her by the wrist, James led her from the path to the common room, into a small and deserted stairwell.

"Merlin, Lily. I never thought I'd be saying this to you," James tittered uncomfortably.

"Well you actually haven't said anything yet – so get it out,"

"I… you know I like you," James started.

"I think everyone is somewhat aware of that fact. Yeah, that's right Mr Blushing – I remember your attempts to woo me!" Lily snapped. "Continue,"

"You're not making this easy," James squirmed. "You know any guy would be mad not to want to date you… but I can't do that with you. Not right now," Lily looked into his eyes – replaying his words in her head, trying to make meaning of them.

"Yesterday you said…" Lily stuttered, attempting to make him change his words. If she could remind him of the episode outside of the kitchens, maybe he'd realise that a bit of dating was just what he needed. It wasn't clear to Lily Evans in that moment that she had just experienced her first heartbreak in a trilogy of Potter heartbreaks, but it was the case.

"That was horrible of me. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. Forgive me?" he pleaded. "I just… needed to know,"

"Know what?" she questioned – hadn't he wanted to know if she liked him? Hadn't she agreed with him?

"That you didn't feel the same way about me," James told her sadly. His brown eyes were dilated and sad.

"Who are you to judge that?" demanded the red head. "Who are you to decide how I feel about you?"

"You've liked me for weeks. You just broke up with Snape…"

"I didn't break up with Snape," Lily growled.

"You basically did Lily. Not in the romantic sense, but he was this huge figure in your life – someone smart who would adore you and listen to you and… I'm not going to be the replacement Severus,"

"But it's not like that," Lily begged, wishing him to see it.

"Evans – this isn't even about you. Like I said earlier – you're gorgeous,"

"You never said gorgeous," Lily pointed out.

"It was implied," James laughed. Lily didn't join in on the joke.

"Right," she sighed sarcastically.

"But this whole teenager crush thing is going to have to die out, okay? I used to think that any form of love from you would be enough, but it's not," he informed her.

"James, I…" she started to confess that she had a lot more than a little feeling for him, but stumbled on the words. James waited, sadly triumphant, until she gave up on her mangled tongue.

"You can't even say it," he half laughed.

"That doesn't mean I don't…" she started.

"I think it does. Look, Lily – I want to concentrate on my work this year. I really do want to commit to being an auror, and no, not because my dad thinks I should. But because I want to fight. To do that I need to knuckle down, and stop pining after you. You can't say it won't be a relief," Lily thought of that pounding ache in her stomach, which was growing the more she understood his words.

"Right… yeah – of course," she sighed – she couldn't contest that.

"I mean… we can still make out if you want? But honestly, I think I could…" his words hung in the air, unfinished. In her head Lily formulated a thousand possible endings, until she realised which he meant.

"Find someone better," James was about to rectify this, but Lily interrupted. "Sirius was right, I have all my books – I'm just going to go straight to the dungeons. See you later,"

Lily didn't go straight to the dungeons. She had fifteen minutes to get there and really didn't want to arrive to find James waiting outside of the door, so made a detour that would ensure her arrival was the same time as Slughorn's. Walking down the charms corridor she was sure that there was no way in which James would happen upon her, so she pushed open the door into a broom closet and fell against the wall. A mop fell down next to her but she ignored it. As long as Filch didn't feel the need to search this cupboard for some cleaning products she figured that she was pretty much alone.

The first tear fell in the same strangled manner as the last, and the thousand in between. How strange – she thought to herself – she had rejected James entirely more harshly than he had just done. This felt worse – it was a cruel kind of torture, and it crossed her mind on more than one occasion that maybe he had done it on purpose. Had he been there for her, been kind to her, kissed her and made her want him purely to hurt her like this? Did he even know the effect he had on her?

She had only been crying quietly to herself for five minutes, when the cupboard door opened and a slither of light hit her face. The person at the door sighed, closed the door and sat beside her. In the darkness it was hard to tell who it was – male, that was obvious from the silhouette – not James, somehow she knew that for certain. It was only when he spoke that she knew who it was.

"I might be new here, but I don't think it's customary for pretty girls to cry in broom closets," the newly familiar voice of Hugo Dagwood asked softly. Lily felt herself blush – this was hardly a good first impression.

"I'm pretty sure this is more Beauxbatons behaviour," Lily admitted with a wet smile that he couldn't see. Thank goodness – she thought.

"James is an idiot," Hugo informed her as if she didn't know.

"He told you about his plans last night, I assume?" she sniffled.

"Oh no – quite the opposite. He warned me off of you, which granted I thought odd behaviour. I was hardly going to go after his girlfriend,"

"I'm not his girlfriend," she protested sadly.

"I know – I followed you both after breakfast," Hugo admitted. Taken aback all Lily could think was that he had seen her be rejected. Only one thing is worse than sadness itself, and that is for another to know you are sad.

"You heard it?" she mumbled.

"I did – but I don't think he meant it," he reached out blindly into the darkness and stroked her upper arm.

"It sounded pretty final to me," she disagreed glumly.

"James is… he has bad history," Hugo started, but Lily interrupted.

"I know about all of that. He knows I don't mind," she told him.

"Well maybe he thinks you _should_ mind? Maybe he doesn't want to force himself on you when he sees himself as a killer,"

"He's not a killer!" she yelled too loudly for someone attempting to be inconspicuous in a broom cupboard.

"Some do the deed with many tears, and some without a sigh: For each man kills the thing he loves, yet each man does not die," Hugo quoted.

"Oscar Wilde?" Lily questioned, certain she knew the rhyme from somewhere.

"You know Oscar Wilde?" he asked her, surprised. That was silly really, as he came from the pureblood fanatic family.

"I had a phase…" she explained. "You?"

"My father thought it imperative to be well read. There is only a small amount of classical books written by wizards. Oscar Wilde he approved of,"

"So what did you mean by it?" asked Lily.

"James is a killer, because of what he has done to you – the thing he loves,"

"He doesn't love me," Lily spat. "That much is obvious,"

"I disagree wholeheartedly. He might just need you to wait – prove that he's worth waiting for," Hugo explained.

"What? That's ridiculous," Lily exclaimed.

"How long has he waited for you to come around?" he asked slyly, making her shut up. "Or maybe he meant it,"

"Right – thanks," she mumbled.

"I'm just suggesting things. Do you see yourself with him in a years' time? Ten? Fifty?"

"I'm sixteen years old…" Lily laughed.

"Maybe he's right – you can't even admit to liking him. He has a lot of love to give – but he needs the same amount in return. It's not fair…"

Lily was actually a little late to potions due to her little chat with Hugo, but Slughorn didn't mind at all. He waved for her to sit down, and she slid into the seat beside Mary who wanted to become a healer. Her friend shot her a questioning look. Had she arrived with James Mary would have sat with an all knowing and assuming face, but James had turned up five minutes earlier – straight faced, but otherwise fine. Lily looked pale and puffy eyed; a fact she hoped to conceal from Mr Potter.

Professor Slughorn trailed off talking about their NEWTs and the amount of dedication this qualification took, and that he was glad to see that all of his students had attained fairly good grades at OWL level. Lily doodled absentmindedly with a clean quill, scratching the wood away from the desk. After about seven minutes Slughorn had stopped talking and wrote instructions on the board. Continuing to scratch the desk, Lily was only aware at Severus Snape's presence at her desk when he cleared his throat.

"What is it Snape?" he snapped harshly. Mary was away getting them ingredients from the cupboard, and her job was apparently to cheer up and turn to the right page.

"Are you feeling ill?" he asked her.

"What? Why would I be feeling ill?"

"You're pale…" he pointed out. She glared at him.

"I'm ginger," James Potter sniggered from the table behind her. It was all she could do to stop herself turning around and punching him in the face, until she noticed that Remus had actually just told him a joke.

"Paler than normal, and your eyes are red and puffy," he continued. She hoped James couldn't hear – she wanted to kick Severus in the head.

"Thank you," she said pointedly.

"Have… have you been crying?" he questioned her.

"I hardly think that is any of your business," Lily glared.

"Lily," he started, but she cut him short.

"Go away,"

"Go away," Mary repeated sternly. Lily tensed – she knew what courage it must've taken Mary to stand up to Severus like that – Severus who was friends with the boys that had attacked her all those years ago. Snape glared down at the girls and shuffled off to the other end of the dungeons where he sat next to George Belby. Sitting down, Mary leant into Lily and whispered "Are you okay, Lil?"

"Fine,"

"Have you and James fallen out? He was like a dementor when he came in here," Mary puzzled.

"No,"

"Then what is it? If it is you and James I sure he'll get over what you said to him," the girl continued.

"Why would it be me saying things to him?" Lily demanded angrily.

"Well, he's hardly going to…"

"Just drop it okay?" Lily asked. Mary, sadly agreed, and started concentrating on their potion. The whole room was almost silent of chatter, with only the sound of flickering fires and James Potter clowning around to Remus at the back of the room. He seemed fine – he didn't seem 'like a dementor' sucking the happiness out of the room. James Potter, as ever, was the paragon of happiness.

The minutes passed, and Lily finely chopped the ingredients and added them to the simmering cauldron that Mary was stirring. Slughorn told James off four times for messing around, and told him to get on with his work. When Lily unwillingly stole a look at the boys behind her it was Remus who was meticulously dropping things into their concoction, and James with a harsh grin plastered to his face. Finally, when the bell rang signalling lunch and the end of their double lesson, Lily quickly poured their potion into a vial and ran from the classroom, without waiting for Mary to pack up her books.

Not feeling particularly hungry, but certainly feeling the weight of all of her books in her bag, Lily decided to skip lunch and drop off all of her books in the common room, bar charms and transfiguration. Hurriedly rushing to the portrait of the fat lady, Lily sighed with relief when she saw that the common room was empty. Dashing up to her dorm she plonked onto her bed and removed her books from her bag and left them on her unmade bed. Her trunk was still unpacked, which she decided to rectify as she had an hour to pass without allowing the temptation of the Great Hall take over her.

Deciding that she wasn't going to look like a girl who had spent ten minutes crying in a broom cupboard and 3 hours cooking behind a cauldron, Lily went into her bathroom and took her hair from its pony tail. She combed the curls through and splashed her face with cold water. Though her eyes were no longer red and puffy, they were wide and sad – a fact she could do nothing about other than apply a thin layer of mascara.

Feeling a slight better about herself than the morning, Lily arrived five minutes early for charms, and was let into the classroom immediately by a smiling Professor Flitwick. He asked her how the summer had gone as the rest of the group filed in. Emmeline, Marlene and Mary all joined her at the table at the front – a place she figured she could avoid James Potter who would likely sit at the back and prat around. All of the girls were angry about something, which initially cheered Lily up – maybe she could listen to their rants rather than his pratting around. That was however, until she heard the subject of their anger.

"Bloody git!" Marlene yelled, enraged.

"What's up?" Lily asked.

"That sod has been taking his foul mood out on us!" Emmeline added.

"He was the same with Sirius as well," Mary rationalized. "He even snapped at Hugo when he tried to tell him something,"

"Yeah? Well none of us have done anything wrong," Emmeline pointed out moodily.

"Face like a slapped arse all lunch – threatened to drop me from the team if I didn't stop asking where you were," Marlene continued.

"Where were you by the way?" Mary asked Lily. "You kind of ran out of potions…"

"I wasn't really…"

"There he is!" Emmeline shouted. "Oi, Potter – what crawled up your ass and died?" Lily turned around by instinct to see James standing in the doorway with Hugo – both boys were grinning, though James more wildly than the latter. He didn't look like a boy with the face of a slapped arse, or a foul mood. He looked perfectly content to Lily. He caught her eye, his smile flickered, and she turned at once.

Luckily Flitwick insisted that charms must be practised and learnt, and got on with the lesson. They were all blessed with a similar speech to that Slughorn had made earlier – about the commitment necessary for NEWTs , and by the looks of her friends, Lily knew they too had suffered a similar lecture. When he had finally stopped talking, he told everyone to pair up and practise the charms they had learnt in their last term.

Lily was teamed with Marlene, much to her relief. Mary would've been asking how she was – guessing wild stories about what had happened between her and James, and Emmeline would have ranted about how he had ruined her lunch and not even noticed her hair cut. Marlene was pretty dedicated to perfecting accio, which Lily advised her on.

"No, change your wrist movement," Lily insisted.

"But the book says a left flick!" the girl moaned.

"The book is wrong! Trust me," Lily assured her. Marlene said the charm again, but with a different arm flick and at once the quill she had been fixated on across the classroom came flying towards her.

"Oi you prat, that's my quill!" an angry voice yelled across the classroom. Both girl's heads turned towards the voice, quick enough to see a wash of surprise, frustration and sadness, before he could compose his winning smile. "Oh Marly, can I have it back please?"

"Oh, _now_ you'll smile? How about no – this is my quill now," Marlene growled angrily.

"Marlene, don't make me hex you," James threatened.

"Bring it, Potter!"

"I'll come over there!" he warned her. Lily felt worry rise in her stomach – she didn't want to be stood so close to James.

"Just give him back his quill, Marley," she whispered sternly.

"What? No!" Marlene rejected, glaring angrily still at James.

"Please," Lily begged. James took a step forwards, and Lily flinched.

"Accio!" a new voice murmured, until the quill shot out of Marlene's hands and flew into Hugo's. "Here you go, Potter," James' eyes flickered to Lily again, who looked away from him at once.

"Thanks Hugo – I'd have hated to hex a girl," James joked.

"There are other ways to hurt someone, James," Hugo muttered just loudly enough that had she not been eavesdropping she wouldn't have heard it. She spun around and looked at Hugo, with the same sad expression James held.

When Flitwick told them to pack up and the bell chimed, Lily wondered how she'd get to transfiguration on time without bumping into James. So thorough was her mind process that she didn't realise that he was stood in front of her as she attempted to leave the room. One arm was held across the doorway.

"Lily, are you okay?" he was smiling. He pushed his spare hand through his hair, mussing it up.

"Fine," she replied and attempted to duck under his arm. He stopped her.

"Good, I thought…" he started.

"Well, you thought wrong," she informed him.

"Hugo seems to think you're upset," James continued, the smile still etched on his face.

"I wonder why," Lily snapped.

"Lil! You know this isn't about you!" James implored. The smile was still there – laughing at her.

"No, it's quite obvious from your behaviour all morning that you really _are_ taking your work seriously. How many times did Flitwick tell you to stop being an idiot?" Lily questioned him – the smile dropped finally. He looked as wretched as she felt.

"You're upset," he pointed out.

"Oh wow, James. When did you acquire those detective skills?"

"Lily, I don't understand…" he started.

"Look; you're right. We're wrong for each other. It was just a shock to the system, after you know… you convinced me that we could never be anything but in… I'm sorry I can't just feel fine about it afterwards," Lily yelled. "You might be able to go around joking and smiling, but some people need ten minutes to get over it,"

"I don't… Lily – if you haven't noticed over the last few years, but I kind of love you," Lily laughed in response. He had cheek to say that. She recalled what Hugo had said earlier – about men killing the thing they loved.

"Some do it with a bitter look, some with a flattering word; the coward does it with a kiss, the brave man with a sword," she muttered bitterly.

"What?" he asked, genuine confusion in his face.

"It's Oscar Wilde…" she sighed.

"Why does everyone keep quoting that guy at me today?" James wondered aloud.

"Hugo told me that you warned him off of me last night. As someone who is not my boyfriend I do not give you permission to warn people off of me," she threatened him.

"Hugo told you that?" he asked her, shocked.

"Yes. And the funny thing is it sounds as though you knew all along exactly what you were going to do. If I was your girlfriend it would have been obvious no-go territory, and honestly, I think last night I might've been stupid enough to agree to something that senile. But you warned him away, and led me like a lamb to the slaughterhouse. You're heartless," Lily growled/

"Me? You're calling me heartless?" he stuttered incredulously. There was an angrily amused smile on his face – the one he always donned when they fought. It didn't make her any happier to see that he thought this was just another tiff.

"Erm, yes I think I just did!" she shouted.;

"Coming from the girl who rejected me for five years by telling me she'd rather date the giant squid?" he spat.

"Oh yes, because you weren't being a stupid prat – mucking about trying to make me and Severus fall out? Or trying to embarrass me, or trying to annoy Charlotte? I hardly think that if there was even any feeling behind your immaturity, it would have been the extent of a teenage boy's crush and nothing more," she yelled. James flinched.

"You really think that all those times I asked you out were to embarrass you or to make Severus hate you?"

"Yes, of course I do! You're hardly a nice person about it! Plus you were on and off with Charlotte the entire time, so you're not exactly the paragon of a boy in love, are you?" He kissed her. His hands were in her hair, messing it up, and his lips pushing against hers. She pulled back at once, wriggling free from his grip and forcing him backwards. He approached her again, smiling, but this time she was ready. Bringing her palm out, she slapped him across the face. There was a ringing in the room and James flinched.

"What was that for?"

"You're a bloody sod, James Potter!" she hissed and stormed off.

Starving from missing lunch, Lily realised that no matter how much she detested James, she would have to attend dinner. Transfiguration was terrible, with him angrily showing off with Sirius and Hugo at the back of the classroom. Her own foul mood had not gone unnoticed by Marlene, who prodded her with questions about whether or not she was the cause of the red hand shape across James' face. Having dropped her bag off in the common room, she found Mary and the three of them walked down to the Great Hall together, each in silence.

When there Lily shovelled food onto her plate and listened as Emmeline complained loudly about James. The boy was absent from the table, leaving the three marauders and Hugo confused as to his whereabouts. Remus thought that he might just be late – Sirius suggested that he was off having an affair with a Ravenclaw called Bridget and Peter said it was probably just his time of the month – something Sirius pointed out quietly - would have been funnier had it been Remus.

"How was your first day, Hugo?" Emmeline flirted.

"Eventful," he said, winking at Lily. She felt herself go red. "James has been in an awful mood all day,"

"You noticed it too?" Frank pitched in. "I thought he just didn't like my new haircut,"

"Why wouldn't he like your haircut?" Lily asked the head boy kindly.

"It's awful. My mother made me get it, and insisted I keep it this way," Frank replied. "He pushed past me and called me Sinatra!"

"Your first name is Frank…" Emmeline pointed out.

"That explains it," the boy nodded happily and returned to Alice who was laughing at him.

"Your hair is awful," she admitted.

"My mother…" Frank started.

"Is a scary woman, I know Frankie," she cooed.

After dinner, the girls and Hugo went up to the common room, leaving the marauders alone to search for James. Marlene broke out her gobstones set, but Mary sat out, deciding to read up on some potions work. Happily, Hugo took the first shot, but ended up covering them all in gunk. The game continued, with them all getting progressively more disgusting and messy – Lily came out the victor, with Hugo a close second. Following an hour of this everyone went off and turned to either a shower, a book or their beds. Lily stayed and chatted with Hugo.

"So if your dad was a huge dark arts lover, and James' parents are aurors how do you guys know each other?" Lily asked him. Had it been anyone else she might have assumed that this was a sensitive question, but from what she knew of Hugo, he didn't seem to mind talking about personal stuff. It was refreshing, when James Potter was running around the castle being enigmatic and mysteriously kissing her and then rejecting her. Sometimes a girl just needs something straight forwards.

"Wizard therapy…"

"What?" she choked. "Do wizards have therapists?"

"I'm just kidding – our mothers were best friends at one point; our father too," he laughed.

"But…" she pondered, thinking about their history.

"Yeah, one became the 'good guy', one became the 'bad guy'. It's not uncommon. Our mothers are still very good friends – they ignored my father's work and we grew up together. In all honesty James might be the only person my own age I knew until I was 13," Hugo informed her.

"That's awful!" she exclaimed.

"It wasn't that bad – he introduced me to Remus and Peter; though Sirius never liked me. And I had my sister,"

"You have a sister?" Lily asked, curious to understand more about Hugo – what made him who he was?

"Bridget – she's in seventh year – Ravenclaw," he explained – something clicked in Lily's head.

"… That makes sense," she noted.

"Sirius' joke earlier? Don't get me started," he rolled his eyes and fell back against the sofa.

"Do they make lots of 'your sister' jokes?" Lily was sat cross legged on the sofa facing him.

"_Jokes_? The sod lost his virginity to her," Hugo exclaimed.

"Sirius lost his virginity to your sister?" Lily recoiled – that was a very un-Sirius thing to do. In fact it was more like the behaviour of…

"Oh, god – that'd be worse. No, James did at the beginning of the summer," Lily's stomach did a backflip, and disentangled itself from her veins – the blood stopped short in her body. She felt like she was drowning on the inside, bleeding out into the empty space which once held her heart. "Oh god… did you not know?"

Lily fought for breath.

"Oi, Evans, what's up?" Sirius Black shouted across the room. He'd obviously just come in through the portrait hole, followed by three marauders – the one closest behind him lily vaguely recalled. He had messy black hair and lopsided glasses, but there was something (which later on Lily would name the survival instinct) that removed the connection that this boy had done something to her. She had been hurt – hurt beyond imagination – this boy was here, but who was he? It was the same reaction she had suffered after realising that it had been Severus Snape to attack both her and Ophelia. The same reaction she had fell when the small girl died in the parting of the crowd, and she lay holding her tiny body. "Lily?"

Lily saw Sirius Black. He hadn't slept with this Bridget Dagwood. That wasn't a very Sirius thing to do – she called. That wasn't something Sirius would do because he didn't do it. He barely had interest in such things. She'd thought the same about another person – but so far she had been wrong.

"Lily?" Hugo asked. His thin blonde face worried. "Are you okay?"

"What did you bloody do to her Dagwood?" Sirius barked.

"I didn't do… I told her… but she…"

"She's in a state of shock," that horrendously familiar voice said calmly. He shouldn't be calm – she thought. He should be screaming and crying and begging for forgiveness. But no, he barely glanced at her. If she had known it was him talking, she would've cursed him.

"What did you tell her, you prat?" Sirius demanded. Lily blinked.

"She asked about my family, and we got to talking about Bridget,"

"You didn't…" it was that voice again – the one which tore her apart with every separate syllable. There was a face in front of hers now – she blinked. It was a handsome face. His glasses were lopsided and his hair was way too messy, but his dark brown eyes stared into hers with more confusion than she herself felt. "Lily…"

The redhead squirmed. She blinked. She breathed. She saw Sirius pushing the other boy away and kneeling in front of her. His face was familiar – it was friendly. She smiled. She heard his detatched voice screaming for Prongs and Dagwood to get the hell out of there. She stood up when he put his arm around her. She followed him out of the common room. She breathed. She blinked. She breathed. She blinked. She followed the trace of steps, which were so disjointed in her head that she felt lost. She traced the thought process back. She remembered the dark haired boy was James. She heard the blonde boy telling her that James had slept with his sister. She recalled following James down the corridors. She heard his voice now – fresh – I kind of love you – I can't do this – More wrong than the sun rising in the west – Tell me you feel nothing.

"I feel nothing," she whispered to Sirius who stopped.

"Lil?"

"He…" slept with her.

"I know Lily,"

"You knew?" and you didn't tell me.

"Yes,"

"And you let him?" sleep with her.

"I couldn't exactly barge in there,"

"You let me?" fall in love with him.

"It's not exactly the end of the world,"

"It is," the end of everything I believed was safe.

"How? He slept with one girl. It's not like he did anything wrong,"

"He said…" he loved me.

"I know,"

"That's…" wrong.

"No it's not. It's misguided,"

"He lied," to me.

"No, he didn't,"

"You didn't tell me," that he slept with her.

"It wasn't my place,"

"You let me," love him. Lie to me. Hurt me.

"It was always going to happen,"

Lily breathed.

"Where are we?"

"Astronomy tower,"

"Why?"

"It's past curfew – no one looks here,"

"Where is he?"

"Hopefully knocking himself out with a bludger,"

"Where did you find him today?" she knew the answer, but she dreaded it.

"He was telling her that he couldn't be with her,"

"Sirius, can you please explain this all to me? I don't understand a word of what has happened with him,"

"Right, well – James was over their place for the majority of the summer. After their dad died he was there for them. They grew pretty close, and one day he called me on the two way mirror and he was crying (never tell him I told you this) because like, Bridget is really funny and stuff, and they've been friends for years, but he doesn't feel that way about her. Then he explained what he did, and he was saying about how you had just written him asking to meet up with everyone in Diagon Alley. I've never seen him so bad. So they kind of… Bridget never expected anything I don't think. He must've said something to her about it, because she was actually quite cool," Sirius took a breath. "So then we all went to Diagon Alley, and he was okay, because you were there and he is rarely not okay when you're there,"

"Then what brought today on?"

"From what I can guess… the fact that you act the same way with him as you do with me, and Remus and Peter, and Hugo. Remus tried to talk him out of this stupid little idea he had – to see if you liked him, then to end it completely when he realised you weren't. But you kind of ruined that, because of the whole 'Amos Diggory kissed me, ewww' thing you had going on the train,"

"Wait, that's stupid! I said I didn't like Amos kissing me!"

"And then James kissed you,"

"And I didn't say eww,"

"But you ran off when Severus came over?"

"Oh…"

"So he told me to go away and he'd wait for you and tell you before you even got to the castle. Then you were attacked, and I think… desperately he thought that you'd want him? I don't know. Then I don't know what's been going down today, really. Other than he's been miserable except when you're around, so that he can prove he don't need you girrrllll, and you've been miserable all day. Then that Dagwood sod tells you what happens, and James is probably sat thinking "Wow, maybe she likes me. Well shit, I've fucked that up now," and he's right isn't he?"

"I… I don't know why I'm so hurt. It's not like I ever said "James, I have feelings for you, please don't sleep with some random Ravenclaw," but I thought that was pretty obvious. And then… "

"You should've said that," James said. Lily and Sirius both turned quickly to face the door and saw James stood in the doorway, his face stricken.

"I should let you talk…" Sirius mumbled and walked towards the door. James stepped towards her. Sirius walked out, and closed the door, leaving them enveloped in only the light of the stars streaming in through the open wall.

"Lily I'm sorry," he started sadly, his entire body reserved.

"I believe you," she said. In front of her was the dark haired boy, whom she recognized as James Potter. She had never thought that he – the one who had always sworn to love her, whether jokingly or otherwise – would make her feel like this. But she did believe that he didn't mean to. She guessed that it was just one of those things.

"You should've said that you liked me. I… you're impossible,"

"So c'mon, explain this all to me…"

Marlene's main concern for the past few weeks had been her upcoming birthday. She and Adam had spent many long letters conversing about what they should do for her seventeenth. Adam had suggested a giant party in the common room, which they had both taken very seriously, and decided that this was the correct course of action. She had gone dress shopping in London with her mother a few days before they all caught the Hogwarts express; Adam had brought along his entire music collection and they were still working out how to get refreshments for the party when Peter Pettigrew walked into the boy's dorm.

"Hullo Marlene," he smiled. "Hey Adam,"

"Hey Peter, 'sup?" Adam conversed.

"Some serious Marauder trouble going on," Peter laughed. "James has too many women after him and Sirius (as ever) is picking up his mess. Remus is.."

"Reading?" Marlene suggested.

"No – he's not _just_ a nerd, you know. He's actually calming Hugo down, because he thinks that the whole drama is all his fault," Peter explained.

"Is it?" Marlene asked.

"Yes," the boy laughed. He was sat on what Marlene knew to be his own bed. The girl had always found it strange that Adam had never become a marauder and Peter had – Adam didn't really fit into that dynamic she figured. Peter might just be small member of the marauders, but he was just as necessary to the group as James, Sirius and Remus. The three needed him to impress, and for him to be in awe of them. He might be the smallest marauder but he was still…

"Hey, Pete. You're a marauder…" Marlene pointed out. The name had always been a bit lame, but it stuck.

"So they tell me," he winked. Marlene got the distinct feeling that he was flirting with her.

"How do James and Sirius get the fire whiskey?" she asked him.

"Oh… er, I can't… divulge that information," he mumbled awkwardly.

"Well… you don't have to tell me, but could you do it for us?" she continued, flirting.

"Not alone… I might need Sirius' help," Peter said with a grin.

"Brilliant!" Adam exclaimed.

"How much fire whiskey are we talking?" Peter asked, working out numbers.

"Five bottles?" Marlene suggested.

"Ten," Adam corrected.

"I don't have the cash for that," the blonde informed him, but he shook his head.

"I do,"

"Adam…." She started to object but he stopped her.

"Tolkien, this is going to be the best party anyone will have attended ever and we are going to be hosting it– ten bottles maestro," Adam proclaimed.

"Then some butterbeer too – Lily doesn't drink," Marlene added.

"Yeah – er… that's cool. When do you need it by?" Peter asked awkwardly.

"Two weeks from now?" Marlene bartered.

"Right – er, that's cool," the boy grinned. "I'll go ask Sirius,"

"Keep quiet to everyone else though," Marlene instructed. "Our little secret," she blew him a kiss. He blushed and he ran from the room. As soon as he had left Adam snorted out a bought of hysterical laughter.

"You just flirted your way into the best party… you flirted with Peter, that's so funny," he wheezed.

"Shut up, at least I have a way of getting things done!" she nudged him playfully.

"Obviously – I just figured you'd have more dignity in it," Adam giggled. "Wait 'til I tell Asher,"

"Oh – I doubt he'll care," Marlene shrugged. "I don't think he likes me all that much,"

"Are you kidding? He practically stalks you!" Adam chuckled.

"I figured he just did that because I was his girlfriend," Marlene admitted coolly.

"No – he does it because he realises that he's the luckiest guy in Hogwarts," Adam said seriously now.

"That was… really lame," Marlene snorted with laughter. Adam looked annoyed.

"No, it was cute," he insisted.

"I'm pretty sure it was lame," she chuckled.

"You're a bitch," he said, laughing too.

"You love it," she reminded him as they returned to their party plans.

Hugo was still fretting about James' reaction when he returned, that Remus was completely distracted by Sirius' happy entrance. The boy was grinning, his teeth barred like they did when he was a dog. It occurred to Remus that some of Sirius' behaviour would be very odd to those who were unaware of his animagi dog form. It was only when Hugo looked up and saw the boy with a grimace, that Remus turned and saw his friend.

"How is she?" Remus asked.

"Fine – no thanks to you, Captain Tact!" Sirius yelled at Hugo. The blonde looked angrily at Sirius.

"I thought she knew…" Hugo started but Sirius unleashed the rage from his core.

"No – you knew she didn't. You did it on purpose," Sirius snapped.

"What're you suggesting?" Hugo asked coolly. He was stood up now, and each boy was nose to nose. Remus could smell the testosterone in the air.

"I'm suggesting that maybe you like Lily yourself, and you want her to hate James. I hate to burst your little bubble but it hasn't worked – they're sorting things out right now!" Sirius goaded triumphantly. Remus was glad that there was no one around to hear the majority of this argument.

"I don't even know Lily," Hugo started.

"Exactly – because if you did, you'd know that she and James are made for each other – and not you, your sister, nor anyone is going to come between them,"

"I don't want to…" the blonde started.

"You're up to something Dagwood,"

"Sirius, calm down," Remus said calmly, reaching for his friend in attempt to cool him.

"Sorry Remus, but no. Have you not noticed that since he joined our lives things have started to get a lot more complex?" Sirius asked, not taking his eyes from the new boy.

"What are you talking about?" Remus questioned.

"Where were you yesterday – on the train?" Sirius demanded of Hugo.

"I floo'd in," he repeated his story from yesterday.

"See, I don't believe that. Not a speck of dust on you when you came in yesterday. Then he had to have a chat with Dumbledore whilst he was with Holloway discussing the attack on Lily all night? And what happened when no one knew where he was? Lily was hospitalized,"

"Sirius, you can't insinuate…" Remus started.

"Oh, but it makes sense! Then James rejects Lily and far from being upset she's livid with him. I bet you said something to her didn't you? Then they're chatting and he tells her _that_? That is no slip of the tongue. He's up to something, and I'm going to be there to stop him when it happens," Sirius threatened.

"What kind of motive would I have to hurt Lily or James for that matter?" Hugo asked innocently.

"Oh, let's count – she's muggleborn, James likes her, James slept with your sister – maybe you're pretty pissed about that or maybe you're just a death eater like your dad," Sirius barked.

"I thought it'd come to this," said Hugo sadly.

"Sirius, of all people you should know not to judge someone by their family…" the werewolf interjected.

"Sirius, can I talk with you?" Peter interrupted. Sirius tore his eyes unwillingly from Hugo and looked across the room to see Peter blushing red.

"Sure, Peter, what's the problem?"

"Er… let's go outside," the smaller boy suggested and led Sirius out of the room. Remus chilled, breathing in a deep sigh of relief. Since his behaviour regarding Severus Snape last year, Sirius' behaviour was being very seriously monitored. If he got into a fight with Hugo on the first day of term, Remus wasn't sure he'd be allowed to stay in Hogwarts. As he had run away from his family home in the early part of the summer, he would have nowhere to go. Remus was glad for Peter – the boy oddly had a fairly calming effect on Sirius – he gave him a sense of responsibility – a reason to behave or show off.

Hugo looked at Remus who shrugged off his best friend's strange behaviour. The blonde boy informed him that he was going to bed and made his goodnights, but Remus wasn't paying attention. Sirius had been over the top with his reaction to Hugo – but there was some truth in what he had said. The open way in which he discussed his father's death and dark arts; the way he had followed Lily and James out of the Great Hall just before they had fallen out; the way he reacted to Sirius' accusations. Remus couldn't help but think that maybe his speculation wasn't too wild after all.

Mary was woken three times that night. The first time it was by shouting from the common room. She recognized Sirius' anger and wondered if she should go and calm him, but realised that he probably had James and Remus there to do that for her. Settling back into her pillow she got another hours sleep before Marlene crept through the door and into her own bed – she had probably been with Adam planning whatever it was they had been up to for the past month. This time, Mary glanced over at Lily's bed and saw it still made and neat, with no one in it. The third time she woke was with nightmares that haunted her nightly.

It was hard being back at Hogwarts. Thought it had been over a year since she had been attacked, Mary still walked the corridors wearily, refused to go anywhere alone, and felt worry when her friends did so. Lily was a free spirit, and often wondered from place to place without company – either their common room or the library or where ever she was now. It was four am and Lily still had not returned. Mary was growing worried.

Eventually Mary got back to sleep for another three hours, and awoke to find that Lily was still not there. Then again, Lily's absence in the morning was not uncommon – she was what Mary liked to call an early bird. Someone who can wake up at half past six without an alarm, pull on any clothes she wanted, strut down to breakfast, stuff her face with croissants and still look fabulous. However, Mary doubted that today was the same story – she hadn't slept in her bed all night – which begged the question, where was she?

Down at breakfast, Mary posed this question to Sirius, who merely shrugged happily and muttered something about 'finally!' Remus had even less of an idea as to her friend's location, and decided that anyone who would know would be James. The more she waited for him to appear, however, the more obvious it was the James was probably with Lily. This at least gave Mary a sigh of relief – at least there was someone with her.

Emmeline did not share Mary's worry, this much was obvious from the way in which she said "probably doing what I would've done a long time ago," whilst shovelling scrambled egg into her mouth. Marlene was with Asher on his table, and Donna cared no more about Lily than Mary did Quidditch. Her only comfort was that James was with her, and that Lily would never miss a lesson in her life. She'd show up at some point in the day.

Mary walked into her divination class, to see that there were only five other students present. Apparently this was the regular size of a NEWT divination class, as the professor was not fazed what so ever. Mary recognized some of her class mates – Robert Cattermole, Eloise Lee and Mathew Wuthers. When it came to introducing themselves, Robert declared himself to be Reginald, and the two other people she didn't recognise were Johnathon Carstairs and Clarissa Rice. Apparently the pair were in some form of sordid relationship together, and demanded to be other another's partners for the entire year. Mathew edged up to Eloise Lee (a pretty Hufflepuff, like himself), leaving her with Reginald Cattermole.

The boy smiled at her – she recognized him from some of her other lessons, but realised that he had grown rather a lot since the previous year. Mary smiled back and took her seat opposite him at their table. Between them was a small bag each. Reginald opened his mouth to say something to her, but closed it at once – the gesture was ruminant of a goldfish she had owned as a child. Mary giggled.

"Hello, Reginald – do you mind if I call you Reg?" Mary asked kindly.

"Oh… er, no of course not Mary MacDonald," he stuttered.

"You can call me Mary if you want – it is seldom someone calls me by my whole name," Mary laughed – Reg did so too. Across the room Johnathon and Clarissa were snogging violently. It was disturbing to see. Mary couldn't believe she had been like that, once upon a time.

"Oh! Boy girl groups this year, eh?" Professor Pes noted. "Brilliant! Right, now who can tell me all about the historical usage of prophetic runes?

James walked Lily to their Defence Against the Dark Arts class, both of them happily chatting about what they suspected Professor Devarius would be teaching them this year. Lily was particularly excited to know if their teacher would continue her extra class, after her stunning 120% on her OWL examination. All the tension of the previous day had dissolved, and it was only when Lily entered the classroom that either of them noticed anything wrong.

"Where's Madam Devarius?" Lily questioned the man sat at the front desk. Far from the floor being covered with crates or the walls full of picturesque views of Paris, the room was bare but for a black board and desks. James shot Lily a confused look.

"Madam Devarius shall not be teaching at Hogwarts School any longer, Miss, so please take a seat. I shall be your Professor for this year. Sit – you two, at the back," the man demanded, pointing James and Lily to the only empty desk in the room. They shuffled over to the desk and settled themselves in. Their new professor was an oldish wizard, with greying hair and a heavily wrinkled face. He walked with a hunch, and wore spectacularly lavish purple robes and a tout expression.

"Where is she? Was she fired?"

"Madam Devarius did not return to this year at Hogwarts. Dumbledore hired me to teach you – he did not express details of her resignation to me. I am here to teach you how to defend yourselves from bad wizards, not how to sustain a job. God knows this position is hardly a model role of that. You would please take your books out and turn to page 1 – read," he instructed.

James shrugged as Lily looked at him expectantly. The pair did as they were told, and read through some uninteresting information on how to use defensive magic safely in a working environment. Having already read the first five chapters of the text book, Lily felt that this was an extreme waste of time and so scribbled a note to James.

**Where do you think she is? -LE**

_Maybe she just quit.-JP_

**She wouldn't have done that. Not without telling me.**

_Lily… you're such a teacher's pet. Which reminds me, stop sending notes. _

**Why – scared you're going to get told off by Professor…. What's his name?**

_Professor Grayson, nimwit._

**Thanks for that.**

_Weren't you telling me off just yesterday for not taking my work seriously enough?_

**That was before you snogged me.**

_Fair enough – your brain not functioning?_

**Shut up, Potter.**

_Sorry – will you refuse to snog me if I keep taking the mick?_

**Yes….**

_Liar_

**You know me too well.**

_Success!_

**Oi, why does Sirius hate Hugo so much?**

_That's a bit personal._

**Because Sirius' social faux pas are the worst thing you've told me about in the last twenty four hours…**

_Huh?_

**That was sarcasm.**

_Oh. _

**Are you going to tell me?**

_You don't have enough parchment…_

_Okay, you didn't have to remove four foot of parchment to prove your point. It was an expression._

**It's a bad expression. Will you tell me at lunch?**

_If you read the bloody page._

**I already have four times.**

_Swot. _

**James!**

**James!**

**Potter!**

**Stop ignoring my notes.**

_Stop throwing notes at my head! _

**And if I refuse?**

_I'll tickle you._

**You wouldn't dare.**

**Asdfghjk. Okay, I'll stop sending notes.**

After Defence, the pair went to potions, in which they sat at separate tables and wrote notes on the potions that they had produced last lesson. This didn't stop James from annoying her though, and he continuously threw blank notes at the back of her head. Far from being annoyed at his friend's behaviour, Sirius beamed – happy to have James and Lily somewhat happy, and not killing each other.

"What did you say to her?" Sirius asked the idiot.

"The truth," James admitted in a whispered.

"And that worked?" questioned Sirius, suspiciously. The truth was the fool's tool.

"Well, it _is_ quite the romantic story," James chuckled, recalling the way in which she had kissed him back on the astronomy tower.

"Yes – if you remove the part where you shag someone else," Sirius hissed pointedly.

"You make me feel so cheap Sirius," James exclaimed under his breath.

"You are – you're a slag," Sirius laughed.

"There is no proof!" James insisted.

"How many girls have you kissed in the last 24 hours?" Sirius questioned. James' face dropped and he glared at his friend.

"Only 2," he chuckled.

"My point,"

"Shut up – she wants to know why you hate Hugo so much," James changed the subject.

"Lily does?" Sirius asked. It was a sudden change of conversation.

"Yes,"

"Tell her then," he whispered incredulously. Sirius didn't have any issue with Lily (or anyone) knowing why he didn't like Hugo Dagwood – in fact the more people that knew the better.

"I don't want to!" James hissed.

"Why not? It's _my_ reason!" rationalised the boy.

"Yes, but then she'll hate Hugo, and contrary to your opinion he's an alright guy," James said.

"You only say that because he let you have sex with his sister," Sirius pointed out laughing.

"He didn't _let_ me! This isn't the 1800's where orphans can give their siblings to strange men," James laughed too loudly. Slughorn looked cheerily over at them and grinned.

"Working please, Mr Potter," Slughorn called across the classroom.

"I'm just saying, you thought he was a prick until this summer," Sirius said under his breath.

"I know! But he is quite cool," James admitted.

"Then tell Lily a lie!" Sirius suggested, but his friend shook his head.

"I don't want to lie to her!" he exclaimed.

"Again…"

"Exactly," they laughed.

"Then tell her the truth," Sirius said as though it was obvious.

"You're really not getting this, Padfoot," James muttered.

"Sing it to her in a musical number – I think we still have one of those ukuleles from fourth year,"

"You're an idiot," James felt like head butting the desk.

"So what're you going to tell her?" the Black boy questioned.

"That you're a lunatic?" James wondered.

"She won't buy _that_!" Sirius laughed. "I'm too sexy for that,"

"You're not sexy," James disagreed.

"There is no proof against my sexy," Sirius imitated.

"How many people have you snogged in the last 24 hours?" James questioned his friend.

"Not including your mum?" Sirius grinned.

"Not including her," agreed the Quidditch captain.

"Touché," Sirius laughed. None – he hadn't kissed anyone since Lily, almost a year ago.

"Stay away from my mum," James added as an afterthought as he returned to his note making.

By lunch Mary had managed to decipher where Lily had been. She'd been with James in the astronomy tower so they could talk in private. Contrary to what Sirius had said about no one checking the astronomy tower, Filch opened the door and almost caught Lily punching James. The boy, however, had pushed her under the invisibility cloak, and led her (both of them invisible) past Filch, and to the room of requirement. James had asked the room to have two beds and a fridge full of food from the kitchens so that they needn't have to walk to their common room, or wake too early for breakfast.

Then James had continued to explain what had happened over the summer (a fact of which Mary was unaware of) and what had led him to do what he had in the past two days. Sirius' account had been accurate mostly, though left out some details (of the explicit nature). Lily had fallen asleep and woken to find James sleeping beside her rather than in his own bed, and rather than whacking him she had allowed herself one kiss. Of course, James felt then the right moment to awaken from his slumber like Sleeping Beauty and had passionately kissed her back. They slept some more (James in his own bed now) and ate croissants for breakfast. The room gave them both clean robes and a mirror, and they attended Defence as normal.

Rather unexcited by the events of her evening, Lily was tired and curious as to the sudden resignation of her old Defence teacher, and asked anyone who might know for a clue as to her fate. Lily gave up after a while and actually scribbled down some potions notes before Lunch was brought by the bell. At this point, Lily packed all her stuff, met James, Sirius and Remus at the door and walked to lunch together.

During lunch Lily dropped hints at wanting to know about Sirius' hate for Hugo – something which Sirius found laughably funny. Due to James actually liking the guy, Sirius held back in telling Lily the entire truth, and figured that James would probably do so anyway. Hugo himself didn't seem to understand the underlying message of the jokes and hints, but laughed along as though he did – this only added to Sirius's amusement.

Eventually Lily got James alone on their way to transfiguration and cornered him in the corridor. Luckily to James he'd been expecting such an attack and so started to kiss her. This tactic worked for five minutes, until she hit him in the arm and demanded answers.

"You're a stubborn little mule, aren't you?" James considered as he looked down at her. Her hair was messed at the back from the kissing, and her lips were redder than normal. He thought that all things considered she looked wonderful.

"It's one of my best traits," Lily admitted.

"I'd hate to see your worst," James joked.

"You already have," the girl joined in. "Come on then, spill the beans,"

"It's not really my secret to tell…" James informed her awkwardly.

"Oh – okay. I'll ask Sirius then," she smiled and started to skip off.

"No! Fine, I'll tell you!" he said quickly pulling on her hand to stop her running away. "Right, well you know what happened with Sirius over the summer?"

"He moved in with you," Lily pondered.

"Do you know why?" He asked, but the only reply was a shake of the head. She'd guessed it had been something to do with his family, but had thought it rude and insensitive to ask. "Well, his cousin Narcissa just got married to Lucius Malfoy, and the wedding was kind of a shamble. I don't know all of the details, but what I do know is that his entire family was there," James started.

"What does this have to do with Hugo?" questioned Lily, unsure as to how Hugo would fit into a story revolving around Sirius' family problems.

"I'm getting to that! Be patient. So, Sirius is there, and he's been fighting with his whole family for ages. Only his uncle and his aunt seem to have any form of sympathy for him. During the after party Lucius and some of his 'friends' were kicking off, and Sirius told them all to calm down. I think Malfoy was close to cursing him, so his dad took him aside and told him to go home and wait for him there. When he got home they ambushed him. Some of the family were staying over, and they basically told him that he was useless and a blood traitor, and though it was a shame to spill magical blood, it was better than 'tainting the tree'. So yeah… his dad beat him up whilst everyone else watched. Nothing with magic – pure muggle violence – but he was in a pretty bad state. As soon as he was conscious he grabbed his wand stupefied the bunch of them, and packed whatever stuff he could. He showed up at mine and wouldn't talk about it for three weeks,"

"That's… horrific, what… so he moved in with you. Your parents were alright with it?"

"Of course – Sirius is my brother," James said airily. In that moment Lily knew that what Sirius and James had was a bond that she had once shared with Petunia – a real sister – and maybe even Ophelia. It was something stronger than either one of them even cared to explain, but they knew it was there – Padfoot and Prongs.

"Wait… so where does Hugo come into this?" Lily interrupted her own thought process.

"Where do you think?" the boy was leaning coolly against the wall, his eyes flicking to his watch to ensure that they wouldn't be late for their lesson. It was a silver watch with five hands, moons around the outside, and a chip in the glass.

"I don't see how he could…" Lily mumbled, trying to add up in her head where he could possibly have fitted into the horrible tale that had just been relayed to her.

"He was at the wedding… and…"

"He was there?" she gasped.

"He watched the whole thing. Sirius seems to think he could've stopped it – his dad beat him and Hugo had a wand and he did nothing. But honestly – think about it – they were surrounded by twenty grown adults. What could he have done? Obviously I was shocked when I found out but…"

"But what?" she demanded, shocked. What on earth could James say to justify that behaviour?

"He was just as helpless as Sirius," James insisted.

"Are you kidding me, Potter? Sirius is your best friend, and you're actually defending someone who stuck around to watch him be beaten to unconsciousness?"

"Lily, you don't understand…" he told her. She jumped back from him, removing his hand from her wrist.

"Do I not James? Tell me which bit I'm misinterpreting, because honestly, I can't believe you right now," Lily muttered.

"Hugo is cool, you know him,"

"Yeah, I do – but I know Sirius as well. And I thought I knew you…"


	12. Chapter 12 Love Works Not

**Author's Note:** Hey guys! Another Chapter – sorry it's taken a bit longer than normal! I hope you like it – another one will be coming soon! Please review – honestly there is nothing better than you guys telling me you like how the story is going! And if you don't then shout at me and tell me so! Thank you so much for reading! Enjoy!

Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black were late for Marlene's birthday party in the common room due to the fact that both of them had been attempting to acquire the alcohol they had promised to provide. The pair had been putting off the trip down to Hogsmeade through the hidden tunnels, not due to their own laziness or fear, but the fact that their friend – James Potter – had been in an awfully bad mood. Only the collection of everyone in the common room at once was enough to distract him from their absence. This trip was not only a great chance for Peter to get into Marlene's good books, but also for the both of them to get a nice slice of silence.

"How much of this do you think James will down within the first half hour?" Peter asked Sirius, as they both lugged their bags of suspiciously acquired firewhiskey and butterbeer down the long corridor.

"An inordinate amount," the boy replied with a terse laugh. "Hopefully it should cheer him up,"

"And how likely is that?" Peter asked.

"Dismally," Sirius said as he pulled out the invisibility cloak and pulled Peter beneath it. He tapped the end of the wall with his wand and let them out into the corridor, where they were invisible to the lurking cat.

It only took ten minutes for them to shuffle to the common room, due to the fact that Peter was so much smaller than James so they could actually move more easily. Stuffing the cloak back into his pocket, the taller boy spoke the password to the portrait, which swung open and allowed them inside. Everyone was listening to music on the record player in the corner, and Marlene was dancing wildly with Adam. Sirius spotted her and walked over with Peter, handing her the bags with a wink.

"Thank you so much, guys!" she squealed, planting a kiss on both of their cheeks. Adam grinned and carried one of the heavy bags over to the corner, where a disillusionment charm had been placed over a table – so that if McGonagall were to come in at any point to tell them to shut up she wouldn't see the booze. It had been Lily's idea.

Sirius left Peter asking Marlene about her day and went over to James, who was sulking in the corner with Hugo. The boys were chatting about something, but James didn't look amused.

"Padfoot," he acknowledged and returned to his moodiness. "Where's the booze?"

"Under the table, mate," Sirius laughed and pointed James in the right direction. He stalked off and Sirius was left with Hugo. Neither of them spoke, until Lily skipped over. The girl was wearing a pretty blue dress and her hair was down in the way that he liked the best – flowing around her pale and freckly shoulders. Sirius didn't understand why she and James had fallen out, but he bet it had something to do with the reason she was also ignoring Hugo. "Evans!"

"How many school rules have you broken today?" she grinned, sipping on a butterbeer.

"About twelve," the boy admitted with a grin. Lily was a prefect, so she should probably be stopping the entire escapade, but her, Remus and Frank Longbottom had all been sworn to mischief when Marlene promised that nothing would get out of hand. All three of them had woefully agreed not to go to McGonagall, and joined the festivities.

"I should report you to McGonagall," Lily pointed out, reading his mind. Sirius merely grinned a toothy grin.

"You're not going to," Sirius laughed.

"Nope," the redhead agreed taking a long sip from her bottle. "Do you want to know why?"

"Always,"

"Because we're friends, and friends do not betray each other in such a way!" Lily laughed, shooting an unfitting dark look at Hugo who flinched. "Anyway, I should go and find Mare," and she skipped off.

"You told her about that night didn't you?" Hugo asked – there was no menace in his voice, which was even more concerning to Sirius. He was playing the good guy too well.

"No – I didn't, James did," Sirius said pointedly, whilst watching his friend across the room chatting to a seventh year Sirius had never noticed before. She had dark hair, was smallish and had bright blue eyes. James; Sirius noticed, was flirting.

"Oh," the other boy said in realisation. "Is that why…"

"Lily's been ignoring him, and he's been in a foul mood all week? Yeah – pretty much," Sirius lied – he wasn't actually sure that was the reason, as his friend had been uncharacteristically quiet with him.

"I should go and explain it to her," Hugo considered.

"I'm sure you could," Sirius said bitterly, staring at Lily and Mary dancing in the space someone had cleared of chairs and tables.

"What's the supposed to mean?" Hugo questioned, glaring in turn at the boy who was ignoring him as much as possible. Sirius' clam exterior was obviously annoying him.

"Well, you've managed to convince James that you're totally innocent in the whole thing – and y'know, he's my best friend," Sirius said. Hugo shuffled beside him.

"There's nothing I could've done," he told the boy very sincerely.

"That way of thinking will condemn us to hell," Sirius growled, finally making eye contact with the other boy. The pair of them stood like that – Sirius sizing up the slightly shorter boy, before a happy voice behind him called his name.

"Sirius, dance with me!" it was Lily. He turned and saw her stood there with a raised eyebrow but an unfaltering smile plastered on her face. Stealing one more angry look at Hugo he nodded and grinned himself.

"Bye Hugo!" he waved and joined her dancing.

At some point in the evening someone had given James one too many fire whiskies, and as a result of which his dance moves were not what they would normally be. Mona didn't seem to mind, though – she simply laughed at him and jigged away beside him, sipping her own drink. He thought she was very pretty – dark brown bangs, large blue eyes that twinkled in the right light, and she was wearing a cute little blue skirt with a black lacy top. James Potter thought that Mona Fox really was quite fantastic.

Of course, the majority of his evening had been purposefully looking at her, and not looking away. She didn't seem to mind, as she chatted about her classes and her future as a journalist, and all of the things she admired about James. The boy figured that it was kind of nice having a girl who actually liked him for all of his crazy stuff for a change – rather than a girl who had to be coaxed into agreeing to a party, shouted at him for his actions and constantly rejected and belittled him. Speaking of such girls, James hadn't looked at Lily all evening. Or at least – he hadn't looked at Lily when she'd been looking at him.

Lily had actually looked at James precisely seven times that evening, and it was around the sixth time she'd caught herself watching him chat up one of Alice's friends that she'd ditched the butterbeer and grabbed the half empty bottle of fire whiskey from Marlene's hand. Mary seemed intent on making Lily go over and talk to him, but even in her drunken stupor she knew that he had done something wrong. Even in her state she knew that he was the one who should apologize first.

The crowd dimmed down at about midnight, with half of the guests (and the birthday girl) disappearing to their (or other's) rooms. James could still be found mumbling about his holidays in France to Mona in the corner, Hugo had gone missing long ago, Peter was unconscious on the floor and Remus was sat with Lily and Mary who were all sobering up. Sirius was sat in the portrait hole.

"I'm going to go and see Sirius," Remus muttered to the girls, and walked off to the exit. From her place besides the fire Lily could no longer see either of the boys, but she was in perfect line to see James. Mary was quietly humming a Three Witches song.

"Where's Emmeline?" Lily asked her friend. Mary blinked hard twice and turned to the red head with a grin.

"Don't you remember? She was with Leo Weekes making out on Charlotte's bed? Then Charlotte threw him out? He was shirtless? There was a lot of shouting?" Mary continued, trying to find any sign of recognition from Lily. "You've been really zoned out lately,"

"I have not!" Lily exclaimed defensively. James heard it and his eyes flickered over and caught hers. Lily pulled her gaze away at once.

"Name one thing other than James Potter that you have paid attention to this entire evening," Mary demanded, to which Lily stuttered. "Saying which – don't look at him," but naturally the girl's eyes flew to the corner in which James had just been looking at her. Now his face was all obstructed by that of Mona Fox. "Oh Lily! I said not to look!" the Blonde said sympathetically.

"PRONGS!" Sirius shouted loudly. Lily jumped with recognition of the name, as did James. His head dashed towards Sirius who was storming towards the boy, dragged him off of the girl and pulled him aside. "What do you think you're doing?" he whispered very loudly.

"Having fun, like you told me to do," James slurred angrily.

"You're pissed and I hope to the Chamber of Secrets that you regret this in the morning," Sirius growled, his eyes intent on Lily.

"Why would… why would I regret that?" the drunk boy smiled.

"Because you might be fighting with Lily at the moment but snogging some random seventh year isn't going to make her any less mad at you," Sirius hissed. Lily felt herself going red as Mona Fox looked over to her questioningly. Had the girl been as drunk as her make-out buddy then Lily might've been able to stand it, but her inquisitive eyes made Lily squirm.

"Padfoot, I… Mona has horses," James giggled.

"I'm taking you to bed," Sirius said angrily. Pulling on James' arm, he tugged the boy to the stairwell, but not before Lily heard him say:

"That's her job!"

Lily felt her stomach churn as if she wanted to be sick, and she wasn't sure that it was the fire whiskey. Mary put her arm around her, and she didn't have the energy to shrug her off. Even Remus (who mostly stayed out of emotional trauma since he had experienced his own) came and sat by her as she attempted not to vomit. There were a few seconds of silence before Lily heard a revolted scream.

"OH MY GOD THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Sirius screamed. They heard footsteps and Sirius was looking both amused and disturbed.

"Padfoot, what's up?" Remus asked with concern. Sirius had wide eyes and burst out laughing.

"McKinnon…." He laughed.

"SIRIUS BLACK SHUT UP!" Marlene yelled from the top of the stairs. "Why is James unconscious?" she questioned loudly and followed Sirius' steps down the stairs. "SHUT UP!" Lily looked up to see Marlene wearing one of Adam's band t-shirts, and little else. Luckily it was very big on her. Mary was in hysterics next to her.

"Marlene…" she laughed. "You and Adam?" Even Lily laughed along, as Marlene blushed redder and redder. Behind her Adam appeared, looking just as red as Marlene, wearing only a bed sheet around his waist.

"I am going to bed. Do not mention this to me until I have drunk at least five cups of coffee," Marlene groaned as she turned and went back to Adam's room. This seemed like a turn of unexpected events for him, as his face light up and he followed her to their bed.

"At least drag Potter into his bed!" Sirius shouted at the pair.

Mona Fox had skunked back to her own room during the commotion, and so it was just the sixth years who were crowded around laughing at the previously unfolded events.

"Who saw that coming?" Mary laughed.

"Me – Potter owes me five galleons," Sirius said. "Remind me about that in the morning will you Remus?"

"Poor Marlene," Lily sighed. "That must've been embarrassing,"

"For her? Imagine what it was like for me?" Sirius exclaimed. "My eyes…"

"Have been corrupt for a very long time," Remus joked. Everyone laughed and fell back sleepily.

Lily and Mary made their way up to bed, with the latter stroking the red head's arm and telling her that hopefully she wouldn't remember this in the morning. Lily simply nodded in agreement and let her friend lead her into her bed and tuck her in. Marlene's snores were absent from the room, though drunk Mary more than made up for it. Lying awake, Lily thought through the past week – how James had tried to explain everything to her – how Hugo had attempted to start conversation, to which she had stormed off angrily. Maybe she should give Hugo a chance – she'd seen Sirius talking to the boy earlier – granted it didn't look like friendly conversation, but Sirius put up with him for James. Maybe Lily should try it as well?

When she slept she dreamt that she was lying in the middle of the Quidditch pitch. When she sat up she saw Hugo and Sirius, both wearing suits of armour from the medieval age – they were fighting. The sounds of swords clashing loudly filled her ears. Neither boy wore a helmet, though the blonde boy seemed to be winning the fight. The more Sirius fought the more exhausted he got. Lily rushed forwards and dashed between their swords. In the heat of the moment both knights jumped back and dropped their swords as they themselves fell into a bow. Lily went to talk but a hand appeared over her mouth.

She was being strangled – she thought quickly and wriggled free of the grip – when she turned freely she saw the king. A golden crown sat atop a head of messy black hair and he himself was adorned in a thick red cape and golden robes. The king went to open his mouth but as he did so to talk a trickle of red streamed from the corner of his delicate lips. When Lily looked down she saw a green tinted sword sticking out of the stained golden robes. Her hand twitched from the hilt of the blade – having driven it home already there was no longer any need to hold it there.

James woke with a start. His head was pounding and his heart doing the same thing at double the speed. Quickly his hand moved to his stomach, to find that it was not stained with the blood of a bad dream, but wearing the same clothes he had donned the night before, and somewhat clean. Groaning, James pulled himself from his bed and looked around the dorm – luckily the curtains were closed, because he had a terrible headache and the light from the day would've stung even more. Sirius was sprawled on his bed, Peter his, Remus his, Hugo was lying neatly on one side of his double bed, and Adam McKinnon had a Marlene wrapped around him.

Okay – granted that last one was a bit odd, but there had been a party – a lot of stuff had probably happened. Racking his brain for any hint of something he should regret James groaned again – he needed some Earl Grey. Thinking it best to change into a fresh pair of jeans and his red shirt, James went into the bathroom to splash his face with water. His hair was a mess – even more so than normal. He wetted that too, in some form of attempt to calm it, and went back into the dormitory. Everyone was still sleeping, other than a girl who was holding her head as she sat up in Adam's bed.

"Hey Marley," James laughed assumingly.

"Shut up, Potter," she groaned. "You er… think anyone will remember this?"

"Who knows," he guessed as he pulled on a pair of socks and his slippers. "You should probably go if you don't want them to,"

"You're right – god I smell gross," she grunted as she searched around for her clothes. James found her lacy shirt at the foot of his bed and threw it at her. "Thanks,"

"That'll be the sex smell," James laughed. "Or the vomit – or the sweat – heck it could just be McKinnon's musky scent,"

"Oh God! Asher is going to find out!" Marlene shrieked. "Sirius saw!"

"I'm assuming that you're feeling repulsed?" James questioned as he turned away so she could pull on her own clothes. "Don't be though – you and McKinnon are… well you work,"

"Except for the fact that he has Vienna and I have Asher!" Marlene hissed.

"Nah, you're only with them because you're denying yourselves," James informed her wisely.

"What? Like you and Lily?"

"No, not like that at all. Lily and I are… we're always fighting. We don't particularly make sense,"

"You only fight because for almost six years the pair of you have been… I don't know – you've been something special for each other. The fighting keeps the fact that maybe if you stopped fighting you'd work out. Neither of you wants to let go of the possibility that you'd actually be perfect,"

"Hangover wisdom coming from the dirty little stop out?" James laughed harshly. Behind him Marlene flinched as she shimmied into her skirt.

"I wouldn't be so quick to judge my drunken actions, Potter," Marlene chuckled. James jumped.

"What did I do?" he demanded.

"I'm not too sure – all I know is that Sirius came in last night shouting at you about the fact that there are some things Lily could forgive, and some she probably couldn't,"

"Fuck," James swore. "Fuckity fuck fuck,"

"Yeah – so shut up," Marlene sassed. James dropped his head into his hands for the millionth time that morning. In the bed beside him Sirius stirred. Marlene jumped up and headed out the door. "Nice talking, Potter,"

"You too," he sighed and slowly followed her out of the room.

The girl had obviously taken the walk of shame back to her own dorm, but James' destination was the great hall. The common room was a mess, and had he more energy he'd have cleaned it up with magic, but as it was all he really wanted to do was have a teapot full of steaming tea and question Sirius about what the hell he had done last night.

Unsurprisingly there were very few Gryffindors at breakfast that morning (especially above the age of 15), and so James sat alone, sipping slowly on his hot beverage and hoping to Merlin that it stayed down. As he waited patiently for Sirius, James found it very surprising that it was Alice Griffiths who sought him out, rather than his best friend. She had a very angry look in her eyes.

"James Potter!" he hissed loudly at him. Many people turned their heads to see the cause of the commotion. "What have you done?"

"I don't… know?" he asked, gripping his ears and wishing that she'd shut up.

"Well I do!" she continued in ever increasing volumes.

"Then why did you ask me?" he moaned, attempting to work out her logic. Why was Alice mad? Had he kissed Frank?

"Because I want you to know that you've done a bad thing," she hissed sternly, deciding to take a seat and help herself to some jam on toast.

"Will you tell me what the bad thing is?" he asked her innocently.

"No, I shan't! I am going to make you find out for yourself and live with the consequences of being a borderline delinquent and alcoholic!" she informed him, but she hadn't dropped her volume and his head really was pounding. He poured himself another mug of tea.

"Alice, please stop shouting," he implored of her, but it apparently seemed to be the wrong thing to say, because her reply was doubled in anger and loudness. People on the Hufflepuff table were staring.

"No! I shan't do that!"

"Honestly, Alice – I admire your alertness this morning, but I do not share it, and really wish to find out what the heck I did that was so bad," James begged the seventh year. Her eyes thinned as she surveyed him.

"I won't say," though she had thankfully stopped shouting.

"Did I kiss Lily?" James questioned – it seemed like the most likely occurrence, even though he spent his entire night (or that of which he could remember) trying to avoid her.

"Why would that be bad?" Alice chastised.

"Did I…" he asked, giving her a weird eyebrow movement as if to hint at something that he couldn't say.

"No you did not do that you sicko!" the girl shouted, hitting him across the head. He groaned and took another gulp of tea.

"Then what…?" he questioned, but was cut off from another shouting person at the end of the hall.

"Potter!" it was Sirius. He was rushing towards the pair of them looking menacing. "What are you doing?"

"Talking to Alice?" James replied questioningly. What else would he be doing?

"I assume this is about last night?" Sirius demanded, looming over them both. He was tall normally – with them both sat it was an intimidating sight.

"Wait… me and Alice?" James moaned eyes wide.

"Don't be vile," she spat in reply. James returned to his confused stupor.

"He doesn't remember?" Sirius deducted, looking at his best friend.

"Nope," Alice said with humour. Sirius sat on James' other side.

"This is hilarious," he pointed out, as James sipped his third cup of Earl Grey.

"I know – I've been torturing him," Alice laughed.

"Will someone just tell me? Have I upset Lily?" asked James. Sirius and Alice exchanged looks that said 'okay, this isn't funny anymore'.

"Yes," a fourth voice said as it sat beside Alice. Emmeline was glaring at James and Sirius. "As a matter of fact you have,"

"And what did I do?" James asked again – maybe Emmeline would give him a straight answer?

"Mr Potter," a small voice squeaked from Sirius' back. James turned to see a second year Gryffindor stood, shuffling from one foot to the other. "What time do the try outs start?"

"Try outs?"

"The sign says that it's today – Saturday?" the boy piped. He had sandy blonde hair and a slight build.

"Oh Merlin!" Sirius exclaimed. "That is today isn't it?"

"Great!" James exclaimed quietly. "How about 11?"

"Fantastic," the second year grinned. "See you there," he said and ran off.

"Bloody hell," sighed the Quidditch captain. "I'd forgotten about that,"

"Bad planning on your part, Prongs," Sirius said pointedly. James merely grunted in reply.

By eleven o'clock James, Sirius, the rest of the existing Quidditch team and the hopefuls all congregated on the Quidditch pitch, carrying their brooms and thanking Merlin for the brilliant weather conditions. Holding his flask of tea, James cursed that he still didn't know his crime of the previous night, but luckily the atrocity of some of the people trying out took his mind quickly off it. They were in need of one chaser, a beater and a seeker. Sirius took charge of finding the beater, and took all those interested in the post to one end of the pitch where he resumed to throwing bludgers unexpectedly at their faces. There was only one broken nose, which Sirius thought to be a bonus.

James' job was to find a chaser who would work well with him and Marlene. A third year called Louis Bronx caught his attention. Having the nimble build of a caser he managed to dodge the opposing chasers and beaters, eventually scoring 4/5 goals. James called the whistle and declared Bronx as the new chaser, and Sirius named Robyn Green as the beater. The girl was a dark haired fourth year, with a wild smile and apparently an arm stronger than their last beater Richard Hardy. Come one o'clock there was still no luck for a seeker.

Lily was running late – she'd slept in with bad dreams, and then grabbed a hurried breakfast, before heading down to the Quidditch pitch. Terrified she grabbed a broom from the open store cupboard and headed over to the group of miserable looking Gryffindors. Sirius was talking to James in hushed voices aside from the main hustle of the group, but he span as soon as he saw Lily. A grin plastered across his face, he walked away from the captain and met her with a hug.

"You're trying out?" he asked her slyly.

"I know I'm late, but… it was you two who told me to try out last year," Lily said, "And Dumbledore,"

"Well – this lot are useless as seekers, so you've got a good chance as long as you don't fall off your broom," Sirius explained as James joined by his side. He gave Lily a guilty smile, though he didn't know why. Her stomach squirmed at the thought of him kissing Mona Fox. She smiled uncomfortably back.

"Evans, let's see what you can do," James grinned and pulled out a bag of golf balls from his pocket. "Get on your broom," he instructed. Lily nodded and mounted the comet 15 as James had taught her to do last year. She gripped the handle and pushed off with her legs. Suddenly she was lifting off the ground, and the normal feeling of ease from being safely on two feet fell away like the ground. James joined her in the air. When they had soared around the pitch for a minute or two James started throwing golf balls as far as possible. The first one Lily missed, because she wasn't aware that he had actually started throwing them, but once her attentions were on the game she dived for each one, speeding the awful broom forwards and catching the small balls in her hand. She would throw them back to James who would grin proudly at her and throw another, more difficult catch for her.

By the end of her trial it was obvious that Lily was the new seeker for the Gryffindor team. Some of the other seeker wannabe's moaned about nepotism until Sirius informed them that nepotism didn't mean what they thought it meant, or that Lily and James' relationship was more than a little bit screwed up. The sixth years all trailed to the showers together (Marlene excitedly congratulating Lily for having the courage to try out after everything that had happened) and they all arranged a time for Quidditch training.

Lily was about to leave with Marlene to grab a bite of lunch before James called out her name.

"Lily, can I… talk to you for a second?" he called as she was almost out the door. Lily shot Marlene a shrug and fell back, allowing the rest of the team out of the door. James smiled shyly.

"Captain," she said ironically.

"Lily, I… about last night…" he started. Lily looked at him expectantly. "What… happened?"

"You don't remember?" she sighed sadly. "You honestly… don't remember?"

"No one will tell me. Sirius says it's something I have to talk to you about," James informed her. Lily fell onto one of the seats, with her head in her hands.

"I'm not really sure it's me you should be talking to," she muttered. James sat opposite her, his eyes trained on her ponytail.

"Please tell me? I hate myself with the things that I might have done…"

"Do you remember who you were… chatting with yesterday," Lily asked. Personally she would've changed the word chatting for flirting, but she didn't think James would take too kindly to it.

"Erm… oh god… M… Mona?" he stuttered, raking his memory for her name. His eyes widened and he stared at Lily. "I didn't…"

"You snogged her, yes," Lily said harshly. James sighed.

"Oh Merlin, Lily – I'm so sorry," he pleaded. "I am so sorry! You didn't…"

"See it? Oh yeah," she admitted.

"Oh Lily!" he cried. "I'm… there's nothing I can say to make you forgive me,"

"Why should you be sorry? What's it to me?" questioned the red head, finally making eye contact with him. Nothing in the emerald of her eyes hinted that she might be sad. She hid it well.

"I thought…" he stuttered, but she cut him off.

"Wrong – you thought wrong,"

"Are you kidding me?" he spluttered, half laughing half shouting. "Are you kidding me? What about _us_?"

"Honestly James, you seemed to get along with her just fine. Why should I stand in the way of that?" Lily asked, begging for him to say it. Needing to hear the words come out of his mouth so that she didn't feel so alone in what her heart was screaming at her.

"Because I…" he started, but she realised – she couldn't hear it. She couldn't listen to something which he could so easily revoke with Bridget Dagwood or Mona Fox or any one of the other girls lining up to have a piece of James Potter. She realised that to him she was merely default territory, and that as soon as something better came along he'd be off like a shot.

"No," she said.

"You didn't even know what I was going to say," James exclaimed angrily, standing up and storming to the other side of the room.

"Probably something stupid that would make both of us hate you," she replied pointedly.

"I was actually going to say that I am hungry," he lied, glaring at her.

"And _that's_ the reason I should stand in the way of you and Mona?" she sassed.

"There is no me and Mona!" he yelled at her, true anger present as though to make her believe the truth. Lily looked at him.

"Maybe there should be,"

"What?" he questioned, reading her blank expression. "You don't mean that,"

"Maybe it's for the best that we stop acting like one day we're going to calm down and not want to hurt each other," Lily implored, wishing for him to both agree and call her stupid. She didn't know what she needed of James in that moment, because no matter what she did need it was never what he did.

"I'd never want to hurt you," he whispered.

"And yet you do it so fluently," she replied sadly. James looked into her eyes and she looked back. In that moment both of them almost believed that this was for the best. Almost.

"So that's it then?" he asked of her. She nodded.

"I guess," she replied.

"Well… congratulations on becoming seeker," he said and smiled. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't follow me," he said as he walked out of the changing rooms.

Mary was sat in the common room when Mona Fox approached her. She had been reading a divination text book indicating the subtle differences between palmistry and insanity when she heard a voice calling her name. She looked up and saw Mona Fox (no longer wearing the seductive clothing of the night before) standing over her.

"Mary, can I chat to you?" the girl asked. Mary nodded, though she'd only ever spoken to Mona once before and that had been about their matching ginger hair back in fourth year. Mona settled into the seat next to Mary and gave her a small thanks.

"Is this about James?" Mary suspected. Mona nodded.

"I'm afraid so," she laughed. "Ew, I never wanted to be one of those girls," she sighed.

"What girls?" Mary asked, unsure what she meant.

"The one going to the 'other girl's' friends for advice," Mary didn't like how she referred to Lily as the other girl, seeing as she and James had been on and off fancying each other for years and she had only just come into the equation.

"Oh," was all she said.

"Yeah – I mean… I like James and he's really cool, and so hot," Mona rambled. Mary wanted to hit her.

"Obviously,"

"This is hard for me. So… I don't mean to… intrude… but what is going on between James and Lily?" Mona finally asked. Mary sighed a shaky laugh and looked incredulously at the seventh year.

"I don't know – _they_ don't know. No one knows," was the most honest answer Mary could give. It was true, the pair had been kissing each other and then avoiding each other for the best part of a year.

"Helpful," Mona glared.

"Sorry, I guess I'm kind of sour because last night I had to listen to my best friend crying herself to sleep because of you, and now you're asking my advice on how to bag Potter," Mary said more sassily than her intentions. She laughed – she hadn't said something so harsh since fourth year.

"I don't want to do anything that might upset her," Mona said sincerely.

"Then leave him alone," Mary advised just as the devil walked in angrily.

"Hey Mona, can I have a word?" he asked, totally ignoring Mary's existence.

"James…" Mona started with a smile.

"Potter," Mary growled. Mona shot Mary an asking look, almost a plead for permission to talk to James. "Go, do whatever you want," she sighed and returned to her book. _Against common belief palmistry is a real thing…_

"James," Mona said again with a smile.

"Mona," he greeted, though not wholly happy. "Do you er… want to go to Hogsmeade with me?"

"What?" she gasped. "You don't just have to ask me out because we kissed,"

"I know – trust me. If kissing meant a relationship for me… well let's just say I would probably not be in half the messes I am in right now," James muttered unintelligibly. Mona raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Right… what about Lily Evans?" she asked him. His face stayed calm, with only a slight twitch at her name, but inside his brain was screaming at him. Managing to quite the voices he simply smiled.

"There's nothing going on between Evans and myself," the boy assured her.

"Does _she_ know that?" Mona questioned further – James thought she was quite the investigator. She was asking all the right questions, and had he been in a better frame of mind at that point he might've congratulated her on her sharpness. As it was, Lily had actually told him to go out with Mona, so he was pretty sure that she knew they weren't together.

"She initiated it," James mumbled angrily. "So what about Hogsmeade?"

"Well… sure – sounds like fun!" Mona flashed him a smile. She was a lot shorter than James himself, standing at about 5' 5, with a bob of hair almost as dark as his own, and bright blue eyes. It had been the eyes that had drawn James to her at the party last night. He liked eyes, and hers were truly magical, with layer upon layer of different blues and specs of silver. As she grinned at him her eyes glistened, and for a second it was reason enough for him to forget his troubles.

Lily heard about the Potter/Fox date from Frank, who had broken his apparently sworn secrecy by letting slip about the entire thing. Alice went crazy at him, shouting that he should appreciate Lily's feelings, but the sixth year just smiled back and returned to her very thick Defence book that she was slowly making her way through during the lunch times and after school hours she spent huddled in the library. It wasn't that the library was the only place she enjoyed to be – it was that the library was one of the only places (including the girl's bathrooms) in which she wasn't likely to bump into a messy haired animagi. Of course, her avoiding of him only went so far, until they were out on the Quidditch pitch.

Quidditch training had been fierce since try outs. James really was as ruthless a captain as Marlene had been expressing throughout the last year. Their training started with laps around the Quidditch pitch for fitness (Lily fell way behind at first, but soon got into the swing of things), then they would mount their brooms and practise skills and formations, until the ended in a 3x3 match with James as the referee. Remembering that Dumbledore had once played Quidditch, Lily caught herself giggling one practise, as she waited to catch a glimpse of the snitch.

"Evans! Do you think that giggling at the Slytherin team this Wednesday will catch you the snitch?" James yelled through the wind and rain. Lily stopped dead; it was the first time he had acknowledged her singularly in weeks. Normally he just referred to her as the seeker or "you".

"I don't know Potter, maybe it's a confusion tactic," she shouted back, surprised that her voice carried so well this high up.

"Well that'll work! Just fly towards Regulus Black and laugh in his face whilst he beats you to the snitch!" James replied angrily, swooping over the rest of the team until he came face to face with Lily. "Stick to the game plan and keep your eyes on the balls!"

"Don't worry, Captain, I'll be gone after the next match," Lily told him, quieter now so that he alone could hear it. His face dropped into a mask of confusion.

"What?" he asked her, still yelling.

"What's she saying?" Sirius shouted to Marlene. The blonde shrugged and they both flew in closer to hear what was being said.

"I'm quitting after this match," Lily repeated loudly to James. Confusion turned to rage in a matter of seconds.

"You can't just quit!" he shouted at her. By this point half of the Gryffindor Quidditch team were crowding around them both to overhear the conversation.

"Sure I can," Lily said calmly, her eyes searching the pitch for the golden pair of wings.

"No! You can't. You're fired after this match," he informed her loudly. Lily glared at him with incredulous eyes.

"I already quit, it doesn't count," she yelled, but James shouted louder.

"Yes it does, because you're fired… after this match," Sirius and Marlene looked at each other. They were both aware that their friends' relationship had been dodgy for a while, but at least they hadn't been shouting at each other. Whilst Sirius was relieved they were finally back to shouting at each other again, Marlene wished they would just be civil.

"Fine James, think what you want," Lily sighed, and attempted to fly away to find the snitch. As far as she was concerned the little practise wasn't over yet. James followed her, faster.

"I will!" he yelled, angrier than the situation deserved. Lily soared dangerously through the air.

"You always do," she muttered, not meaning for him to hear. He should've been meters away by now, but his faster broom and tireless attitude enabled him to hear it perfectly.

"What?" he questioned her softly. The question was unnecessary – he knew what she meant as much as she did. He was just giving her a chance to lie. Before she could even do that she saw a glittering gold wing in the corner of her eye. Dashing after it, urging her broom forwards as her instincts and James had taught her to do; she raced the tiny snitch in one loop around the pitch. James was on her heel, following her as she followed the ball. "EVANS!" he yelled after her, but she wasn't listening. She was zoned in on the snitch. Holding her arm out she went to close the gap.

James put himself between her and the snitch, and she watched as it flew off and disappeared into the rainy sky. Her hair was dripping wet, with drops of rain and sweat rolling down her temples. The boy looked fine; he really was made to play Quidditch. But as he sat there bobbing atop his broom, staring at Lily, he wondered if he might be meant for something else?

"What did you mean?" he begged of her. The rest of the team had dispersed in the chase, and had excused themselves from practise.

"You know what I meant," Lily spat, too tired to argue anymore.

"I'm going out with Mona," he told her needlessly.

"I know," she admitted sadly for the first time. To Frank, Alice, Marlene, Mary and the rest of the curious Hogwarts population, Lily had insisted that she was fine – that Mona and James made sense as a couple. The worst part about this lie was that it was partially true – they really did make sense. She was pretty, smart, funny, mischievous, nice. In fact – Mona Fox could give James Potter a run for his money.

"I'm not going to not go out with Mona just because you ask me to," he told her sternly, almost as though he was telling himself. The rain was thick now, like a disgusting cloud of badly used pathetic fallacy. "You made your choice,"

"No – you made yours," Lily informed him – glad that he was finally growing up, though sad that it wasn't for her.

"Yes I did. I made the choice that might make me happy. You don't make me happy Lily. You make me more miserable than any man deserves to be," James said. For the last six years he'd been trying to make her happy, ignoring the ever increasing sadness that overwhelmed him now.

"Right then, thanks," she laughed sourly.

"Don't quit the team just because of this," he begged of her. His eyes were wide despite the wind and the downpour. This time Lily laughed for real.

"I'm not _quite_ that pathetic, Potter. I only ever wanted to play one match," she informed him. It had been he, Sirius and Dumbledore himself to convince Lily that everyone should play at least one Quidditch match in their time. Whilst between the agony of seeing James, and Marlene's mood swings she had actually been enjoying training, she knew it wasn't really her. She wasn't a seeker – she was a slightly studious prefect, whose feet belonged on the ground.

"Right, okay," he agreed, nodding. He went to smile, but it turned to an ugly grimace half way through. He opened his mouth to talk. "It's funny – I always thought that despite everything there might be a chance for us,"

"Funny – so did I," Lily admitted, for perhaps the first time. James' face fell into an unreadable mask, both questioning and unmatched sorrow. His mouth opened and closed like a goldfish struggling for oxygen, until he pulled the only rational thought he owned from his head.

"Oh. Well… you need to work on your diving,"

"Yeah – I'm a bit shaky at that," smiled the redhead – covering a sadness that James should never know about.

When they reached the ground and headed to the showers, James was shouting at the team about not excusing themselves from a training session, when Sirius informed him that Marlene had started throwing up in mid-air and it hadn't been a pretty sight. The third year chaser Louis Bronx looked miserable as he towelled his hair off. Marlene had obviously been aiming. Ignoring James, Lily rushed over to Marlene, putting her hand on her friend's back and rubbing it as she groaned.

"You okay, Marley?" Lily questioned soothingly. Marlene mumbled.

"No,"

"We need to get you to Healer Holloway," Lily fussed, wishing that she could have had a chance to change out of her things first. She'd use the prefects bathroom later, but Filch would skin her alive if she left any muddy residue on the floors.

"She's been refusing to go for ten minutes," Robyn Green informed Lily. The fourth year didn't seem to really like Lily, and the red head thought that it might have something to do with the rumoured James Potter shrine the girl apparently kept under her bed. Whether she hated Lily because James did, or because James didn't, Lily wasn't sure – but she had always been fairly vindictive to her. Sirius quite liked the girl and continuously insisted to Lily that she wasn't all bad.

"I'll take her," Lily said. "Sirius, help," Sirius mirrored Lily in throwing one of Marlene's arms around his shoulders and hauling her off of the floor. Someone held the door open for them as they shimmied a disapproving Marlene through the door, into the rain and up towards the castle. Amongst them, only Sirius had any amount of cleanliness – having jumped into the shower whilst others looked after the sick patient. Marlene was covered in mud, sweat and vomit, so much so that even in Lily's state she felt a bit better about herself.

Five minutes later they were forcing Marlene in through the hospital wing doors, and lying her on a cot against her will. Holloway rushed over and forced Lily and Sirius away so that they could go and have a proper wash. The former stayed put, insisting that she stay and look after her friend. Holloway pulled the curtain around the bed and instructed Lily to take a seat by the opposite wall. As she sat there, muddy and impatient, she watched through the window as the Gryffindor Quidditch team made their way (somewhat clean, though not very dry) up to the castle. Noticing with a dull ache that James wasn't amongst their group, Lily turned away from the window.

It took ten more minutes for Holloway to conduct a list of spells to find out what was wrong with Marlene, and when he finally discovered the reason for her sickness he threw Lily from the room without haste or listening to her pleads to stay. From outside the room Lily heard a raised voice fussing over the only patient in the room.

Deciding that her own hygiene was more important than anything right now, Lily vowed to wash and then return to the hospital wing later to see if there was any improvement. She trudged up to the common room, wishing that she had a marauders map to keep her safe from Filch's screams about filth, taking the quickest route possible. When she arrived there, the Fat Lady shot her a revolted look, but opened up when the password had been spoken. She threw off her Quidditch robes, pulled on a pair of thick cotton pyjamas, and headed back out for the door. The now clean team all watched her go – James and Sirius both absent from their pack. She wondered if it was the full moon tonight?

Trudging meekly towards the prefect's bathroom she hoped that no one was in there already. It was the reason that she used it so scarcely – the fact that anyone could knock on the door at any point wanting a bath themselves. As she hurried towards the door and spoke the password, the door thankfully opened, entreating her entrance to the empty room. She locked the door from the inside, filled the tub with hundreds of bubbles in different flavours, and dunked herself in the perfectly temperate water. Soaking away the muscle ache was her first mission – the second would be distracting herself from the sadness she refused to feel.

As she bobbed around the giant bathtub she watched the mermaid brushing her long hair in the window. Washing her hair with a green shampoo that smelt like apples, Lily swam about happily, cleansing herself of the awful evening. As soon as she got out of the tub and dried herself off she would have to face reality – Marlene would be miserable all evening, Sirius was missing and people would be asking what she had James had been shouting at each other. Then there was Emmeline – who was trying so hard to make everything right between herself and Lily that she kept putting her foot in it, by trying to convince James to look at "How pretty Lily looks today" or how "smart Lily was in potions this afternoon."

The girl's only saving Grace appeared to be Mary MacDonald – who despite her sudden love for Divination, was consistently kind to her, would give her hugs when she silently needed them most, and would tell Emmeline to stop being so silly when it came to the James situation. Something had changed about Mary in the last few months – Lily had noticed. The blonde had gone from somewhat ditzy and shy to a confident and intelligent girl. She was constantly improving in potions, her charms were nearing on perfect and apparently she and her partner were top in the class at Divination.

Dragging herself from the cooling water and wrapping one of the duvet-sized towels around her, Lily dried herself off and pulled back on her pyjamas. Checking the time she noticed that she had only half an hour before curfew and left for the hospital wing.

Sirius had left the infirmary earlier that evening with the hopes of collapsing into bed, and probably having to hear all about Lily Evans as he tried to fall asleep. The boy didn't mind hearing about Lily, because he thought it was somewhat funny – the way James spoke about how it was totally over for them. Anyone with a right mind could see the opposite. Even Remus took Potter's complaints against his fellow prefect with a bit of humour, as they played the waiting game. His plans however, had changed when he'd heard a familiar voice, calling out an equally familiar name somewhere near the charms corridor. Quickly dashing into a (luckily) open room, Sirius held his ear to the door to hear the commotion outside.

"Snape!" the distinctive voice of Hugo Dagwood called. Confused, Sirius pondered what on earth Hugo could have to chat with Snape about. He doubted greatly whether it was hair styling tips.

"You're late again, Dagwood," the growling voice of the Slytherin came. Sirius wondered if he could hex them both. Ever since the incident last year, James had increased his cruelty to Snape, but only if Lily never found out about it. For the last few weeks the slime ball had been keeping out of their way. Wisely so.

"I had to get here without Filch spotting me," Hugo retorted. "Why couldn't we meet in the come and go room again?"

"We don't want to be obvious, do we?" Snape muttered. "He wants your answer,"

"He can have it," Hugo said confidently. Assuming Sirius was right in his assumptions, Hugo was more stupid than he first gave him credit for. No one should have confidence when dealing with Voldemort.

"Well? Do you want to wait to be caught or do you want to tell me?" the Slytherin snapped.

"Yes – I agree to his… terms and conditions," Sirius noted a hint of humour in his choice of words. There were no "terms and conditions" for joining with the Death Eaters. You didn't agree to things like that – Hugo Dagwood was in over his head.

"Curious… I wonder why," Snape started. Sirius heard footsteps as one of the boys moved closer to the other. From the sounds of their voices, they weren't very far away from his own hiding place.

"Why does anyone?" Hugo questioned with a light air.

"Yes, but after your father's death, it seemed as though you really were one for the other side. Being sorted into Gryffindor…" Snape started.

"Bravery isn't necessarily a noble quality, Snape," the Gryffindor interrupted.

"Rightly so – there are others who agree with you,"

"Exactly. I may appear 'poor hard done by son of a death eater' but my mother thought that we might buy back the favour of _him_ if I were to be in the school," Hugo explained. Sirius thought of Mrs Dagwood – she seemed like such a frail woman. Could she really want Voldemort's favour?

"He _has_ people here," Snape growled defensively.

"Well now he has one more," Hugo rationed.

"We don't trust you," Snape informed the other boy. Sirius knew how _that_ felt.

"I don't blame you – I've been buddies with the son of two aurors, and your worst enemy for months. You'd be an idiot to trust me," Hugo spoke as though it was a hilarious meeting: as though the betrayal of James and everyone else was funny. "Though I did think you'd comply more with my previous favour to you,"

"That was to me and not _him,_" Snape reminded him angrily. Hugo certainly knew how to annoy the boy.

"Well, the boy is with some other mudblood now. Yours is safe," Sirius' stomach flipped. He could only mean the James and Lily situation – could Hugo have been behind James' relationship with Mona? It had been his actions during the summer that made Lily and James fall out initially – could be have orchestrated the entire situation?

"You're going to need to prove yourself," Snape told the boy.

"I know – I heard all about your own initiation. Hospitalizing your girlfriend and a twelve year old? Bad form, Severus," Hugo joked. Sirius could imagine the look of disgust radiating from the greasy Slytherin and it made him smile. Hugo may be an ass but at least he was annoying Snape.

"I'll stay in touch with you," the boy growled. More footsteps sounded – this time walking away on the hard floor. A short laugh was heard and Hugo walked away too.

Sirius waited a few minutes before creeping out of the room, wishing he had the invisibility cloak and the marauders map. He went a very roundabout route to take him back to the common room, hoping to Hogsmeade and back that he didn't bump into the traitor. He was in a tough position – Sirius hated Hugo, so people might think he was making this up. But he couldn't keep it to himself – maybe he should go to Dumbledore? He might believe him – or he would at least keep an eye on the situation.

What was he going to do about James? Had it been anyone else, Sirius knew that his best friend would believe him without a moment of doubt – but it was Hugo. He was meeting in secret with Snape, who was apparently in contact with Voldemort, and making the Gryffindor keep James and Lily apart. Could James really believe that Hugo was fraternizing with such company? He seemed oddly defensive of him since the incident with Bridget. Then again – if he was keeping him apart from Lily, maybe James would listen?

He ran straight to the dormitory, finding James absent from there as well as the common room. Remus suggested checking the map, but Prongs had taken that with him as well. Resigning himself to the fact that James would show up, Sirius settled into the spare seat on the couch beside Alice and Frank. They were huddled over a piece of parchment chattering away happily.

"Hey Longbottom," Sirius greeted as he flung himself into the seat. "What's that?"

"Letter from Dumbledore," Frank informed him. "Head boy business," he said proudly.

"It's not that big," Alice giggled. "Frank and Meg have to plan a Christmas ball,"

"That's cool," Sirius commented, unfazed by the news. "Make it fun!"

"Keep it hush though, we don't want too many people knowing about it," Frank instructed the younger boy.

"What's the occasion?" Sirius questioned. "We don't normally get Christmas balls!"

"On the contrary Padfoot, I am full of Christmas balls!" a joking voice called from the portrait hole. James was standing with his arm around Mona Fox, a grin on his face and smudgy lipstick on his neck.

"Christmas ball?" Mona squeaked excitedly, running over to Alice to read the parchment. "That sounds cool!" James settled on the arm of the chair besides Mona, his hand on her shoulder. Sirius wanted to scream at him – things shouldn't be this way. He didn't.

"I don't know the occasion – maybe it's Dumbledore's birthday?" Frank suggested humorously.

"No, Dumbledore's birthday is in July," James corrected with a blank expression. Behind his brown eyes Sirius could tell something was wrong.

"How do you know that?" Mona laughed. Sirius liked Mona, which was probably the most annoying thing about her. She wasn't whiny or annoying, she was cool and smart and she could take a joke. It made hating her near impossible.

"I baked him a cake once," James explained enigmatically. Mona laughed.

"What date were you thinking?" Mona asked as she ran her hands mindlessly through James' hair. Frank looked up.

"I was thinking the twentieth," he said. Sirius stopped.

"Can we make it the twenty fourth?" Sirius asked quickly. He made eye contact with James, who understood at once. Full moon was on the twentieth, and it would take time for Remus to fully recover.

"Yeah, a Christmas Eve party will be way better!" James egged on.

"Actually, I like that idea!" Mona agreed with a grin. Frank shot a look at Alice, who shrugged and smiled back.

"Christmas Eve it is!" he muttered happily.

By the time Lily got down to the Hospital Wing Marlene was just being let out. She had a handful of parchment and leaflets and she looked miserably at Lily who just grinned when she saw her.

"Feeling better?" Lily chirped as they walked down the corridor.

"Worse," Marlene admitted.

"Did he find out what was up?" the redhead asked kindly.

"Something about… stress…" Marlene mumbled unhappily. "You haven't seen Adam have you?"

"Sorry, no. I haven't been back to the common room. Is he the destressenator?" Lily giggled. Marlene shot her a confused look.

"Hardly. I just need to ask him something," Marlene said quietly, and they walked the rest of the journey in silence. Lily knew something was up, and she was going to find out what.

Mary had attempted to have an early night's sleep, ready for their practice potions test tomorrow. She'd gone into the empty dorm room and had only twenty minutes sleep until Lily rushed into the room, informing her half-conscious corpse that Marlene was up to something and that it would be their shared job to find out what. She explained (Mary hardly listened) about how their friend had vomited on someone's head during Quidditch and had spent an hour since in the Hospital Wing being yelled at for being over stressed. Without registering any of this information, Mary begged Lily let her sleep and fell into dreams once more.

The next interruption was Donna's entrance, loudly asking Lily to turn her lumos down so that she could sleep in peace. Lily obliged and sleep came once more, until Charlotte crashed the door shut, stormed in and called Lily a nerd. She then proceeded to sob all over Lily's duvets about how it was horrible that James had found someone else so soon, whilst Lily quietly thought her a hypocritical slag. Once the crying ended Mary thought that maybe they could all drift off into a long and easy sleep.

Then the shouting began.

It was near midnight at this point, and everyone had been sleeping. Everyone bar Marlene, who was missing from her bed. Charlotte groaned for everyone to shut up, but the shouts kept coming from down in the common room. Lily was the first out of her bed, running through the door and down the spiral staircase, quickly followed by gossip hungry Donna and resigned to being awake Mary. Emmeline dragged herself behind, and Charlotte snored away.

What shocked Mary more than the content of the shouting was the mouth it was coming from.

"Marlene!" she yelled. The girl spun to see her four dorm mates stood in the stairwell looking incredulously at the pile of broken things around the room. Adam was sat, head in hands on the sofa, looking just as sick as Marlene had earlier. Lily calmly stepped forwards and used magic to repair the piles of ripped books, broken chairs and smashed clocks. Her and Mary took Marlene to the sofa and stroked her hair soothingly.

"Donna, go away," Lily instructed of the girl. Donna stood defiantly, refusing to leave. "Either leave or I will hex you deaf – your choice,"

"Fine," Donna said, rolling her eyes and turning around up the stair case. Emmeline joined the group by the sofas. Quickly, Lily cast a muffilo over the couches so that even if Donna was crouching at the top of the stairs she wouldn't over hear anything gossip worthy. All the while, Adam was trembling on the armchair.

"What's going on?" Mary asked softly.

"I…" Marlene muttered uselessly.

"What's happened, Marley?" Lily said, rubbing her friend's back. Again the girl stuttered some syllables, unable to conceive an entire sentence. "Adam?" the boy just shook his head.

"Where're the boys? I'm surprised they didn't hear the commotion." Emmeline muttered wonderingly.

"It's full moon," was all Adam said, and suddenly everyone understood. Whether told directly or they had guessed, everyone present was some amount aware of what the marauders got up to around the full moon. Adam was their roommate after all.

"Guys – seriously, what's up?" Mary asked of the pair. They looked at each other. Adam shrugged.

"I think Marlene might be in shock," Adam said finally.

"Why?" Mary asked.

"She's…" Lily started. "I think… Marlene are you…?" Marlene nodded.

"She's what?" Emmeline snapped.

"I'm pregnant," Marlene said shakily.

Prongs stood proudly in the moonlight, his shadow being cast over the river. The man inside smiled, but the animal form didn't understand this action, and so bowed its antlers. To his left the shadow of a black dog was panting and drinking from the water, exhausted from their run around the forest. Prongs knew that Wormtail was around somewhere, though he couldn't make out the figure in the long grass. It had been an exhausting adventure - one of their finest. Miles away a werewolf lay sleeping on the hard floor of the shrieking shack. They'd run with him, around the deserted forests of Hogsmeade. He howled to the moon and Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs called back to him.

The three Marauders left Mooney sleeping and harmless. They had another quick run around the grounds until they came upon the Great Lake and the panting dog had decided that it was time for a drink. Prongs dipped his hooves in the cool water, but Wormtail stayed safely on the shore. It was way past midnight – the moon was dying down – the werewolf would soon become a man again – and the sun was rising with the warmth and safety of the day. Padfoot barked happily.

"How did that happen?" Mary exclaimed, totally shocked.

"Well, when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much…" Marlene started dryly. Lily laughed.

"But… your party?" Mary stuttered. Marlene nodded. The room had gone very quiet with the shock of it. Lily heard a barking from out on the grounds and wondered if Sirius was having a better night than her.

"That's the most likely time," she admitted with a sideways glance at Adam.

"There were more?" Emmeline gasped, looking from Adam to Marlene.

"Not Asher?" Mary asked kindly, her hand on Marlene's.

"No, not Asher," she said.

"Me," Adam said wearily. "It's mine,"

"What're you guys going to do?" Mary sighed, sensing the weight of their situation.

"Holloway gave me leaflets about the different options…" Marlene said, pointing at the pile of papers on the coffee table. They'd have to remember to move them come the morning.

"What're you thinking?" Lily asked softly. Marlene sighed.

"Well… If I keep it I can't stay at Hogwarts so my entire life will be ruined. I'll end up homeless or living with my mother for the rest of my life whilst she silently judges me and wishes I'd have done something better with my life,"

"No," Adam said. "If _we_ keep it you'll live with me. It'll be fun,"

"Adam, this is a huge deal…" Marlene sighed, all of the fight she had been showing earlier whilst breaking things had obviously died down. "This isn't going to be like a sleepover,"

"I know. My mum loves you as it is – the fact that you're going to have her first grandchild will probably increase that - so she wouldn't mind helping out. I'll… I'll get a job to provide for you both, and then when he or she is old enough, you can get a job too. Plenty of witches and wizards don't have NEWTs," Adam said, going over the details, calming Marlene down with the fantasy of safety and a future.

"That won't change the fact that I'll be a whore!" she cried out. What would people think? She'd have to break up with Asher – a fact she'd been aware of for a while; ever since her thing with Adam had begun, but she'd never seen it as an ultimatum. He was a nice guy. It was such a shame.

"If you're worried about that then marry me?" Adam said, as if his thoughts had become diamonds. He spoke with absolute clarity, his eyes lighting up from the sad darkness they had held before.

"Adam, I can't just marry you!" Marlene exclaimed sadly. She thought it cruel that he would suggest such an impossibility.

"Sure you can!" he smiled in the way that only he could – the way that stopped Marlene's heart in its place and made her lips twitch in recognition.

"You don't have to… we can't just get married because of this…" Marlene begged for him to see – begged for him to understand that whilst this fantasy was fantastic, he needed to mean it. She couldn't take away his entire life like that.

"Then marry me because since the day you came into my life you have made it brighter? Marry me because every joke you tell me, even if it's not funny, makes me laugh because of the way you smile when you're telling the punch line? Marry me because there is a war and if I die I want to die having achieved something – and if that something was nothing more than you and our baby then I would die the happiest guy on earth. Marry me because you love me too."

"Did he just propose to her?" Emmeline whispered loudly to Lily. Marlene's own eyes were transfixed on Adam, and none of the girls blamed her. Adam McKinnon – the boy who had loved her from afar had finally found a chance to make her his.

"I think so…"Mary whispered back. Their eyes flickered between the pair.

"You don't have to do this," Marlene choked, tears in her eyes.

"I've loved you long enough for that not to matter," Adam laughed, his own eyes glistening in return.

"I think he means it…" Lily gawked.

"You're my best friend…" Marlene mumbled.

"Marry me because of that then?" he replied calmly.

"He really does mean it doesn't he?" Emmeline exclaimed.

"Yes," the blonde said.

"Yes as in he means it or yes as in yes I will marry you?" Emmeline questioned loudly.

"Yes as in… I will marry you… I guess," Marlene stuttered once more. She looked both shocked and happy. It was a weird way for things to come together, but in the future they would all look back at this moment and realize that nothing could've changed – this moment was the making of the McKinnons.

"I'm not sure if this is the worst proposal ever or super romantic," Lily sighed hopelessly.

"Shut up!" Mary squealed.

"Awww, they're kissing!" Emmeline pointed out happily. The three girls grinned at their best friend's obvious happiness. Of course there was worry – of course there was regret and sadness and a never ending pit of fear – but in the end there was happiness, and that's all it took.

"You owe me two galleons," Emmeline hissed in Mary's ear.

"No! You bet that he would ask her out – you never bet that he would propose," Mary giggled.

"Same thing!" Emmeline argued. They went on and on, bickering about the pair, and the gender and the reactions of their parents. Lily sat watching the couple, happy that they had finally found each other.

They found the invisibility cloak at the door of the castle and each slipped under it whilst they were still under the cover of near darkness. Though their ankles were still on show, the use of the cloak was a last minute defence – they had the Marauder's Map to shield them from unwanted company. Sirius was complaining about wanting to take a detour to the kitchens, and as his stomach grumbled James unwillingly complied.

"You know what mate?" he whispered beneath the cloak.

"What?" Sirius replied in the shorter boy's ear as they waddled towards the kitchens.

"You should make the change permanent," James laughed, followed by one from Peter. "You talk a lot less,"

"The tail I can live with… the fleas… they kill," Sirius joked, which earned another laugh from the boy trailing behind them.

James quietly spoke the password and crawled in through the portrait hole as they had done a thousand times. As he readied himself to pull off the invisibility cloak he heard voices.

"Honestly, if you don't make me bridesmaid I'll kill you!" it was Emmeline's voice.

"You can all be bridesmaids," the voice of Marlene giggled. Sirius nudged him forwards and pulled the cloak off of him. Suddenly he stood very visible, standing right in front of Lily Evans. His heart drummed with the whisper of something Sirius had said earlier. He completely ignored his ranting about Hugo until her name had been mentioned – and Severus Snape's.

"Who's getting married?" James joked, his eyes tearing painfully away from Lily's. She shut her own, clenching her eyelids together wishing him away. He looked over to Adam McKinnon who was grinning wildly. Marlene was on his lap.

"Are you kidding me?" Sirius exclaimed with an excited tone. "That's bloody great!" he ran forwards and pulled Marlene into a bear hug that only Sirius could do. The pair had history, but their friendship won over that – as much was obvious in the way they held one another. "Your intentions had better be pure McKinnon,"

"Well… slightly," Emmeline coughed, but Mary nudged her quiet. It had been an unspoken agreement that at least for a while the entire pregnancy chaos would be unknown by the entire school – even the engagement if possible. Marlene would leave school for the Christmas holidays, and not return.

James and Peter went around to sit by the fire – the former carefully controlling his eyes to look anywhere but Lily. A very excited Emmeline and Mary recounted (with some alterations) the story of the proposal. Some of the details were fuzzy, but they all awwwed at the right times and congratulated them at the end.

"So… you're pregnant?" James said at the end of the story. Everyone in the room went still – all eyes (other than Lily's, whose were on Marlene) were on James. He grinned. "Come on – admit it. It's been what? Three weeks since the party? You were sick in Quidditch, a bunch of those details didn't add up,"

"You're smarter than people give you credit for," Adam noted dully.

"Oh, people give me plenty credit," James grinned. "Congratulations you guys!"

"You're not going to yell shotgun wedding?" Marlene muttered sadly.

"Nah – I knew it'd take something big to get you two together," James smiled. "Can I be godfather?"

"Er, sure," Marlene laughed – a grin creeping back to her face. Sirius sat looking stunned.

"You're… there's a little baby inside of you?" Sirius gawked, his eyes wide.

"A tiny weeny one, I guess," Marlene grinned. Sirius looked from Adam to Marlene, and held his hand onto her stomach. Of course it was too early to feel anything other than a particularly sickly stomach, but he held it there, knowing that there was a baby inside. A tiny little person. "Don't tell me that you're going broody, Black,"

"No," he laughed it off, "But kids and a family and stuff – who doesn't want that?"

"Padfoot, I er… I've been feeling really sick recently, and I think I'm pregnant from that time we spooned. Marry me?" James joked, which earned him both laughs from the entire group and an angry slap from Marlene. When he stopped laughing it was possible to make out her hand print across his perfect cheekbones.

"If you make ANY jokes about this I will murder you in your sleep," she threatened angrily. Adam giggled.

"My fiancé everyone!" he chuckled. Emmeline awed, but it turned into a yawn.

"It's way too late! I'm going to bed," she announced, standing up and bidding everyone fair well. Mary followed her. Sirius kissed Lily on the head and followed Peter up to the bedroom. Suddenly Lily found herself sat opposite James Potter, staring at his hair – it wasn't as messy as normal. Between them Marlene and Adam spoke softly to each other, but James' eyes were transfixed on something he had earlier been sure he'd lost forever.

Lily blinked away the eye contact, and without a word stumbled to her bed and fell down, wishing that her happiness for her friend could overcome the feeling of heart tearing misery that ripped a lump in her throat. She coughed out a first tear, but the rest were silently sewn into her pillow.

Mary was sure she had failed the potions test. Her head continued to fall in sleepless fatigue, and the mind was filled with the memory of Marlene's happiness of the previous evening. Of course, she was happy for her friend – and though she didn't envy the difficult situation in which Marlene found herself, she felt a sting of jealousy in that Marlene had finally found someone. That lunch the girl came to the table miserably after having dumped Asher, and Adam was in a similar state of emotion about Vienna, but they had each other – they held hands beneath the table and whispered "it'll be okay's" to one another. Adam even helped her to pen the message to her mother – and she, his. Mary didn't have any of that.

Come Divination, all Mary wanted to do was to drink her tea leaves and fall asleep on her crystal ball. Blinking the sleep out of her eyes, she jerked herself awake to see Reginald sat opposite her. He hadn't been there a minute ago. The thick and warm air of the room was lulling her to sleep.

"Hey Reg," she smiled whilst stifling a small yawn.

"Hullo Mary," he grinned back at her. "You look tired,"

"Oh! Do I really look that bad?" She exclaimed sadly, mussing around with her golden blonde hair. Reginald jumped at her sudden reaction.

"No… er, you look lovely actually…" he blushed a deeper red than Mary thought possible of anyone but Lily. She even felt some colour creeping into her own face. "You just… your eyes are unfocused,"

"Oh – thanks," she smiled. Professor Pes walked in at that moment sensing great things in the air! Across the room Johnathon and Clarissa glared at each other – rumour had it that Johnathon had been hanging out with her brother, and she didn't like it – hence the odd behaviour.

"I had planned on doing tea leaves this afternoon, but it came to me in a dream that this was not the correct direction," Pes said eerily to the class. "As such, we shall be studying the dream patterns, and how they foretell the everyday,"

Mary removed her dream guide from her bag and slammed it to the table. Reg smiled guiltily having forgotten his own book, shuffling his chair to sit next to (rather than opposite) Mary, so that he too could see the book. Smiling as she sleepily flicked through pages she tried to recall any dreaming that had happened last night. Before she could muster up any form of memory however, Reg coughed.

"I had a dream the other day in which Hogwarts was on fire, so I ran up here and er… you were trying to save the crystal balls from the inferno, so we jumped out of the window and fell to our deaths," Reginald spoke quickly growing redder and redder in the face with each word. Mary simply gawked and burst into hysterical laughter at his shy expression.

"Mopsus himself couldn't make sense of that dream, Reg," she wheezed between giggled. Patting him on the arm she struggled for air, until he himself joined in.

"It was pretty crazy," he admitted with a chuckle. Professor Pes didn't actually seem to notice their complete distraction, as she was chastising Clarissa for slapping Johnathon around the face. The boy in question didn't look hard done by – on the contrary he looked very amused by her stubborn refusal to apologize.

Turning back to the book Mary skipped through to find Fire, Crystal Balls, Falling, and Death.

"Well Reg – it appears as though you're going to have some prosperous sea voyages, but be marked down by some depressive storms and though you will have a great struggle there will be rise to honour," Mary read from the book. Lily and Marlene constantly laughed at Mary for enjoying divination, and though she agreed that some of the work they did was completely mental (prosperous sea voyages, really?) she thought that there really was something to the subject. Pes thought she had a knack for the subject, getting the highest in the OWL results in a few years.

"I… have never been on a boat in my life…" Reginald stuttered. "Except in first year – and even then I felt sick," Mary giggled again.

"Who knows where the facts shall take you?" she joked, flicking through the pages to look as though she was working. Professor Pes was talking with Filch in the doorway, about a mess in the corridors. She foretold that it was no one in the room and slammed the door in his face.

They spent the rest of the lesson discussing the meaning behind a dream Mary had remembered from a week earlier – she was in the Forbidden Forest dancing with Hagrid, whilst the Marauders serenaded them. The conclusion they both shared was that Mary should have taken Care of Magical Creatures and that Sirius Black isn't even a good singer in the dream world. When the end of the lesson ended Mary begrudged packing her book away and bidding Reg a farewell when they reached their separate paths.

Lily was tired – not physically but mentally. Sleep deprivation she could deal with – it made her slightly giddy and overly alert, but she could handle that. What she couldn't handle was smiling every time someone mentioned the J word, or not succumbing to sadness when he spoke, or seeing him in every classroom she had to be in. It was torture really – she'd always thought that when it came down to it, she would be fairly sane if she ever had a crush on a boy. She wouldn't be like Mary, Emmeline or Marlene and run around thinking of him and only him all day every day. It had been easier for them – they didn't have to watch their crush swanning around all day with the fairy fantastic and impossible to hate Mona Fox.

It was this exhaustion that led Lily to her dorm room rather than Defence. In her stomach was the feeling of needing to escape from it all, even if only for the hour that she would gain from skipping. She knew it was wrong; but she could not stand to wait outside that room to have an elfish seventh year kissing the lips that should have been hers. Telling Marlene that she hadn't slept well last night she had escaped, taking the longer route to the common room so that she wouldn't get caught.

Absentmindedly Lily spoke the password to the Portrait and crawled through the portrait hole, allowing herself into the thankfully empty room. Collapsing on the sofa nearest the fire, Lily hummed to herself. It was a tune she'd never heard before, and it lulled her into a quiet half-sleep. The guitar was gentle and the vocals-

Wait – vocals?

Opening her eyes, Lily bolted upright and listened hard. She hadn't been imagining it, or humming it to herself – there was the light melody of a sad song drifting down from the boy's dormitory stairs. The singing was low, inconceivably beautiful as it muttered the words of a song she didn't know. Lightly stepping onto the first stone stair, Lily quietly smiled as she heard the guitar being played expertly. Part of her wanted to shroud herself in the melody – the other realised its danger. Pacifying the latter part of her brain, Lily continued silently up the stairs, oblivious to the fact that this musician should have been in class also.

The door was ajar, helping her get a good listen of the singer's voice. It was like nothing she'd ever heard, and no matter how she tried she couldn't place to voice to one of the boy's in the dorm. Even Hugo – whom she barely knew – couldn't have a voice like that. Wanting to curl up on the top step and fall asleep to the tune, Lily stayed in place, not wanting to disturb the musician. She had never heard music like this – most of the wizarding community didn't hold much stead for the muggle instruments, but this was a guitar similar to that of John Lennon's. It had the same tone as it – acoustic and beautiful.

Without warning the music stopped. Jumping, Lily considered making a dash for it – the secret singer would never know that she had been there (skipping lessons, nonetheless) and she wouldn't have to stutter an excuse as to why she was suspiciously hanging around outside the boy's dormitory. This (especially in light of recent events) was not something she wished to get around the school. She'd look like a man woman! Unfortunately her decision was made for her.

"Sirius, is that you?" the voice of James Potter called through the door.

"Bugger," Lily cursed, hitting herself for not realizing that this was exactly the kind of crap that would happen to her – of course it was James Potter being perfect and stupid at the same time – that was typical life. Before she could run or reply, the door was opening wider and she was stood, wide eyed staring at James Potter in crumpled robes, a wonky tie to match him wonky glasses and a wig of untameable hair.

"Lily?" he questioned, as she stood silently attempting to figure out a way to explain her behaviour.

"You're… er, you're not in class," she pointed out smartly.

"Nor are you," he retorted quickly, with a suspicious rising of his left brow. Perfect eyebrows – he probably doesn't even pluck them – she growled internally.

"I… heard… you playing," she admitted finally, with an unwanted stutter. "I wondered who it was,"

"It was me," he said with a smile. "Is there anything you need?" he asked her. Suddenly she realised that there was something suspicious about him – why was he skipping class? He didn't have any problems. He was James Freakin' Potter – the only thing he had to run away from was the horde of girls who wanted to touch his hair. Okay Lily – she thought strangely – you _really_ need to sort out your mental state.

Looking down at Lily stood oddly outside his door made him question if he was doing the right thing – the usual nagging in his head that spoke with Sirius' voice made an appearance but he quenched it with the thought that Lily Evans made everything impossible. Even this conversation – this conversation was impossible because she seemed mentally unavailable, and kept stuttering replies. That wasn't the Lily Evans he knew.

"James, are you going to play me the rest of the song or not?" a sweet voice called him from inside the room. A strange twisting sensation wracked his gut as Mona sauntered towards him and pulled the door open enough to see Lily standing there with a completely detached look on her face. If it had been anyone else to give her that facial expression he'd have cursed them into a week's stay at St Mungo's. Instead he just grinned.

"Sure thing, Lily was just looking for Sirius," James lied quickly. Lily nodded.

"He's probably in his lesson?" Mona suggested looking up but very much down on the redhead, who's only reply was another nod, and turning around back down the stair case.

Back in the common room, Lily dropped herself into a chair and took to the only form of escapism that she agreed with. The book in question was a wizard favourite – The Truth of the Mighty Oz – a fiction similar to that of The Wizard of Oz, but with magical truths and interludes. Oz was also rumoured to be based on Dumbledore – a fact of which she giggled about due to his extreme eccentricities. The book gripped her – dragging her into the world of Delilah and Otto the dog and down the literal and metaphorical Yellow Brick Road – it was just the ticket: The one thing to drag her away from those boring sadnesses of real life. So bedazzled by the novel, she was shocked when looking up she saw Hugo Dagwood sat on the arm chair beside her, watching her with an amused charm.

"Oh, hullo," she said hostilely, closing the book but remembering her page number.

"I've been sat there for ten minutes and you didn't notice I was there," Hugo laughed. "Good book?"

"Good enough," Lily admitted, wishing for him to go away so that she could find out about the lion animagi man, and the enchanted suit of armour.

"Ah, the Truth of the Mighty Oz," Hugo grinned, attempting at further conversation. "My mother used to read it to me,"

"How fascinating," Lily mumbled, stroking the spine of the used book. It was one that had constant place in the common room and had no owner, so naturally it had been read by the fair few book addicts in the house.

"You're mad at me for this Sirius business, aren't you?" Hugo asked sincerely. That was one thing she hated about him – the fact that if he tried she probably wouldn't hate him at all.

"Well, I don't think you belong in Gryffindor house after that display, no," Lily huffed.

"Lily, you don't understand. The whole business with Sirius…" the boy started, with an air of superiority.

"I understand everything about Sirius – he is one of my closest friends," she snapped at him. Hugo shut up for a second, taking a breath to realise what it was he should say next.

"Give me a chance?" he pleaded, eyes wide, and a colourless smile at his lips. Lily thought to James upstairs "serenading" Mona Fox. Slowly nodding she allowed the boy to continue uninterrupted with his explanation. "There were about twenty fully grown witches and wizards in that room – who; had I flinched, would've given me the same treatment. I know that doesn't say much for my character, but I had intended on helping Sirius as soon as everyone had gone to bed. Honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that he stupefied me into unconsciousness and punched me in the face, I would've patched him up nicely and returned his wand,"

"Is that it? That is the explanation you gave to convince James Potter that a boy who watched his best friend be beaten within an inch of his life is a good guy?" Lily questioned coldly. She didn't believe it for a second – even if it was true, he'd obviously said something more to James. Potter wouldn't have taken such a light approach. In fact, all of his behaviour regarding Hugo Dagwood hinted that there was something more to their friendship – something hidden.

"It is the truth," Hugo concluded. "Please don't let this get in the way of our friendship,"

"What friendship? You barely know me," she spat harshly. Hugo continued his smiling and leaned in to Lily.

"No, I don't," he admitted, "but I would like to," his eyes didn't falter.

"If that's some kind of chat up line…" Lily warned with an edge.

"You're beautiful Lily, but you said yourself – I barely know you. Let me get to know you?" he asked smoothly. Blinking, Lily felt a fuzzy sensation go through her head. Looking at Hugo – seeing his big honest eyes and his lovely face she nodded.

"Okay then – tell me about yourself," she grinned happily. Hugo returned the smile.

"What do you want to know?" he asked, happily falling back into his arm chair.

"Favourite subject so far?" Lily asked.

"Charms," was his answer. Lily felt her stomach tingle – no one liked Charms as much as she did.

"I love Charms!" she squealed happily. "It's my favourite!"

"Really? You are rather fantastic at it," he complimented her, turning her skin a fresh shade of pink.

"Thanks – okay, another question: favourite professor?" Lily drilled.

"Slughorn – he's a coot, but he knew my mother and father from their Hogwarts days, and he likes me," Hugo answered. "In fact, he's invited me to his "Slug Club"? Do you know anything about that?"

"Yeah – they're his little parties for people he thinks will do well. Remus and I are attendees," Lily smiled proudly. She felt as though she could with Hugo – he was smart like she, and might accept that being at the Slug Club wouldn't hurt one's future prospects.

"Well if you're going I should come along – I wasn't going to, because I wasn't sure of the company – that Severus Snape…" he said. Lily's face dropped – the almost tingle gone from her mind, she glared at Hugo. "Sorry – I heard about…"

"Severus Snape is a person with whom I have no time for," she finished. Hugo looked at her sadly, she blinked and when she opened her eyes she was smiling at Hugo. "Enough of that. Favourite Charm?"

"I'd say the confundus charm – I do a very good confundus charm," Hugo grinned happily along with her. Their questioning continued as they walked down to lunch together, and sat side by side, Lily asking Hugo dozens of questions. Eventually; when pudding came, Hugo turned to her. "I have a question for you,"

"Hit me," Lily smiled.

"Why weren't you in Defence Against the Dark Arts?" Hugo asked. Lily cursed.

"I had a… er headache," she lied quickly.

"Yeah – reading help cure that?" he joked. Glaring jokingly at him, she took a bite of her treacle pie – it had to be her favourite dessert.

"I wasn't feeling up to it," she admitted finally and quietly. Hugo acknowledged her.

"I figured as much – must be hard to see someone who says they like you running off with someone else," Hugo whispered.

"I don't like him," she denied.

"I never said you did," Hugo smiled softly, until it broke into a full blown grin. "You've got…" he pointed at the corner of her mouth where lay a few crumbs. His hand moved forwards reflectively, brushing the pastry away and smoothing her lips. "All gone,"

Lily gulped.

"Favourite dessert?"

As she fell asleep objectifying her thoughts Lily considered Crying as a conundrum. One could cry from an inordinate amount of emotions if felt strongly enough – happiness, anger, fear, and frustration – but aside from the science of the self-awareness of the human mind, sadness was something in itself. It was not profound or unique in any sense of either word, for the feeling was universal. But sadness demanded tears whilst the others became it.

It was the shaking of excited hands that woke Lily the next morning, way before she thought agreeable. Somewhat annoyed by this the girl scrunched herself up into a ball, bringing the cover over her ears and eyes. Apparently the rude shaker thought that this was not an acceptable reaction to their shaking and continued to rip the warmth of the duvet from her sleep-weak hands and to shake her once more.

"Do you really hate me this much?" groaned the redhead to the shaker. Refusing to open her eyes, Lily was aware that the culprit could have been anyone and that grunting at them might not be very good form. Slowly unpeeling her tired lids she saw Mary perched at the end of her bed – the curtains to both her bed and the dorm were open and the other girls were all absent.

"Come on, Lil," Mary grinned. "Hogsmeade," Lily's only response was a surprised groan. She'd completely forgotten the planned Hogsmeade trip, that would bring with it more of the sadness that had assassinated her sleeping attempts over the last week and an excuse to get unhealthy amounts of chocolate to dull the pain. "Please get up! Everyone already left,"

"What time is it?" Lily questioned as she rubbed her eyes. The room was a tip – a sure sign of girls on dates. Pulling herself from her empty casket of a bed Lily vowed to make herself look as little like a zombie as possible and catch a quick breakfast before heading into the village with Mary.

"About ten. And I was thinking – remember when we said that we would go in together?" Lily nodded dully. "Well, I was thinking that I might catch up with some other friends,"

"Would these other friends be Reginald?" Lily questioned with a disappointed, though amused smile. Mary needn't answer, for her blushing face did the job perfectly.

"Perhaps. You don't mind if I ditch you, right?" Mary pleaded with a grin. Lily laughed out loud.

"I didn't even want to go at all. You go – although can you pick me up like… three carrier bags of Honeyduke's finest?" Lily asked as Mary pulled her into a bear hug.

"Of course!" she squealed and jumped up. "Do I look alright?"

"You look lovely, Mary," Lily admitted. Mary was sporting a skirt that Lily hadn't seen in years, and a blue blouse. Passing Mary a hefty sum of galleons to purchase her chocolate Lily collapsed back onto her bed with her newly earned duvet. Though of course, half an hour following Mary's exit from the room Lily realised that she probably wasn't going to get back to sleep and though she wasn't going to put herself through the torture of going into the village she shouldn't waste her whole day in bed.

Dressing in a pair of jeans, a flowing cream shirt and her slippers Lily headed down to the common room. Surprisingly it wasn't empty. There were a few studious first and second years milling around who regarded her with a curious eye – why was she denying herself one of the few privileges of being over the second year? Of course the answer would have been a warning more than anything – a run for your lives – escape – never conform to the norms of social convention – it's too late for me – save your innocent selves. But then she saw some twelve year olds snogging and thought maybe not so innocent.

Feeling decidedly not hungry Lily decided to take a study day and grabbed her bag and hauled it to the library. As usual it kept the emptiness that she found dear to her, as only two other students were in the room. Barty Crouch stuck behind a large and rather thick edition of Hogwarts: A History; the other resident was Hugin Dagwood.

"Hugo," Lily called and went to go and sit with him at the small table near the window that over looked the courtyard. Outside some first years were gossiping. "You're not in Hogsmeade,"

"Well observed – nor are you," he replied, shutting his book and quickly placing it under the table out of vision.

"I…,"

"I know," Hugo cut her off. "And I have lived in a wizarding village for my entire life and my mother finds it suitable to send me a numerous amount of sweets and supplies every Sunday, so I have no need to leave the castle,"

"A change of scenery, perhaps?" Lily suggested, taking out her worn copy of Advanced Potion Making.

"Why would I want a change of scenery when I have the most beautiful thing in the world?" Hugo said unfathomably, his eyes fixed on Lily, who couldn't help but blush under the weight of those eyes. "And in any case I did not have a date,"

"You don't need a date to go into Hogsmeade," Lily pointed out. "Plenty of people don't have dates – they just go with their friends,"

"Friends? I am rather afraid that James himself is occupied with the inescapable Mona Fox, Remus has sided with Sirius in the whole "me" debate, and Adam McKinnon has himself the lovely Ms Tolkien," Hugo didn't sound bitter in the slightest; he merely explained the situations which led him to be sat alone in the Library on the first Hogsmeade visit of the year.

"What about Peter?" Lily questioned. People often forgot Peter, and it made her sad for him. He was quite a funny lad, once you got over his original shyness. James, Sirius and Remus wouldn't just keep him around to be in awe of them – he was actually rather sweet. Hugo's eyes brightened as if he hadn't thought of Peter.

"I shall ask him for coffee next time," Hugo joked. Lily sighed. "Then again, there is you,"

"There is," Lily agreed with a sly grin, her eyes turning towards the open page of her book. "Of course that would be rather presumptuous of you,"

"Would it now?" Hugo played along. It was a few seconds before Lily realised that their matching tones were flirtatious.

"Well, that'd be assuming that we're friends, Mr Dagwood. Who says I haven't sided with Sirius?" Lily questioned. In truth she didn't agree with Hugo's actions that night, but something niggling inside her hinted that it wasn't really Hugo she was mad with – it was the Blacks.

"Call it a magical feeling inside," Hugo chuckled lightly. Lily shot him a grin and turned back to her book- Hugo did not do the same. His own book was shielded under the table still. "You hardly need to revise potions,"

"Well – it'll give me something to do, and it will be nice to be ahead," Lily grinned, thumbing through the book to get to the right page.

"If you were any farther ahead you'd be teaching Slughorn," Hugo joked and leant forwards. "And as for having something to do, why not finish the book you were reading last night?" Lily blushed.

"I finished it already, actually," she admitted, embarrassed.

"Really? Impressive," Lily blushed again. Most people gawked at her for being so book happy. "Then how about spending the day with me?"

"You?" Lily choked with a laugh. "What do you want to do?"

"I'm sure I can think of something…" he said with the menace of a marauder.

"You know, I'm pretty sure you're meant to do this before the date," James pointed out as he sipped on his warm butterbeer. Across the table, Mona had her feet up, slipped into strappy sandals as she painted the toe nails red. Grinning over at him she dipped the brush in the pot.

"Are you sad because I'm ignoring you?" she joked flirtatiously. "I'm done now anyway," she dropped the pot in her purse and straightened out, leaning over the table and throwing her sort hair behind her ear. "You know I could have brought you a firewhiskey right?"

"I could have stolen one," James grinned slyly. "I want the butterbeer,"

"Shame, cause I have a bottle in my bag that suggests differently," Mona winked. James responded with the same grin that she brought forwards. Constantly he was reminded of Sirius by her, and in some aspects that was perfect. "How about it sugar?"

"Maybe later," he stole a look around the bar. The Hogs Head was pretty deserted other than a few seventh years trying to look hard by drinking firewhiskey. Mona was staring at him questioningly when he turned back to her; her dark eyebrows raised and a half smirk visible.

"Looking for someone?" she asked curiously.

"No one in particular," he replied happily and downed the bubbles at the bottom of his glass. "Want to get going?"

"Where to? Fancy going up to the shrieking shack and making out?" Mona suggested happily. This behaviour had been completely encapsulating at first, but now, even after a mere week of relationship it seemed forced and exhausting.

"Or we could just go shopping?" he opposed. Throwing her purse over her arm, she grabbed his hand and skipped out of the bar – her mini skirt flouncing as she went.

Out on the high street there were many more people – mostly Hogwarts students. James kept his eyes peeled for a certain person, but she was nowhere to be seen, which he figured was good. He didn't want to hurt her any more than he did. He wanted to be with Mona now – that was obvious. She gripped a hold of his hand and nattered away about the different shops she wanted to go into and the things she was going to buy. Oddly she never made to go into the shops, but strutted through the high street happily throwing happy grins at passers-by.

Over the heads of the mostly shorter crowd, James spotted the blonde head of one Mary MacDonald.

"Hey, Mone – I'm going to go chat to Mary quickly, okay?" he said, letting go of her hand as she chatted to one of her friends he didn't know. Pushing his way through the crowd in attempt not to lose her, James was quite violent. Eventually he caught up with her and stopped her by shouting out her name. A quick look at her company and James was surprised. It was Reginald. The boy who fancied Mary.

"Hey Mary, he Rupert," James greeted happily. Reginald stuttered a reply about that not being his name but it was mostly inaudible.

"Hey James – this is Reginald by the way. Not Rupert. Reg," Mary was smiling happily, an air of confidence she'd been lacking for years. "No Mona Fox?"

"She's er… talking to a friend," James explained. "Where's…?"

"Lily decided not to come today," the blonde said sadly. "She sent me to pick up her groceries,"

"That's a lot of chocolate," James gawked. "What's the occasion?"

"She's been down a bit lately if you haven't noticed," Mary retorted pointedly. James had noticed – in lessons when there was no Mona or Hugo to distract him, his thoughts were almost entirely on her. She sat slumped now, rather than alert – she rarely answered questions, and though she never fell behind she didn't have the same enthusiasm as he connected her with. He'd noticed her missing from meals, and she didn't look as if she was sleeping well – he wondered if she was ill at all.

"Hopefully the chocolate will make her better," he smiled uncomfortably. "How's the date?"

"Oh err…" Mary and Reginald both blushed and turned away from her. Though Reginald had grown since last year, and filled out a lot, he was still a slight shorter than the girl with the body of a super model. His mousy brown hair had darkened through next to Mary he looked northing but average. She still shot him an embarrassed smile and shrugged to James.

"James!" Mona called from over the crowd. He turned to see her sauntering over, swinging her hips and her hair in the wind. Mary's smile faded. "Oh, hi Mary,"

"Mary and Reg are on a date," James cited happily. The happy couple went back to blushing, which diffused the silence from Mary's lack of greeting.

"How… cute," Mona squeaked, "Now come on handsome, let's go pick up some new robes," she smiled and dragged James down the high street, his dragging feet making him trip over the cobbled stones.

Mary had boughts of what Lily called "Not-there-ed-ness". Ever since her attack years previously she would have moments in which her mind would turn itself of – restart it – like it had on that day. They were random moments, in which her brain would say "that's it – we need a full system restore – cut all functions and switch the lights". This would last for a second, until the systems were a-go. Of course, for this to happen in the middle of the Hogsmeade high street on her maybe-date with Reginald was quite different.

Opening her eyes, Mary blinked and smiled.

"You okay, Mare?" Reggie asked his hand reaching out to take her temperature. Blinking, the girl attempted to remember who he was. "I'm Reginald Cattermole – your divination partner. We have been working together all term. You are Mary MacDonald – you're 16 and you're in your NEWT year at Hogwarts," he spoke, reminding her of who and where she was. She wasn't back there – she was safe now. She was stronger. All the while Reg Cattermole knew exactly what she needed without instruction or explanation. He filled the gaps.

"Thanks," she smiled. It came back to her. He was Reg. She was Mary. That's all she needed to know. "Shall we go sit down?"


	13. Chapter 13 The Stag and The Fox

As December rolled around, the air cooled and the general population of Hogwarts grew more and more excited about the prospects of the up and coming Christmas Ball. Where fifth and seventh years would normally be avoiding revision by curling up in front of the fire, they now discussed outfits and hairstyles with the rest of the population of the school. The number of students staying over during the holidays was higher than Lily had ever known it, and even those who didn't particularly like the idea of a huge party didn't want to miss out on all the fun.

Having been dragged around all the top shops in Hogsmeade by Emmeline and Mary, Lily had purchased her own gown weeks previously. Though she didn't have a date she still revelled in the idea of having a nice party with her friends, and rumour had it that Frank and Meg had managed to book The Dancing Cauldron to play later on in the evening. There was much speculation about the entire event, particularly from the Marauders who were wondering how easy it would be to sneak in a bottle of Firewhiskey or two.

Marlene cancelled her plans of returning home at the beginning of the holidays and not returning in favour for staying for the Christmas Ball; after which she would get precious little chance to see her friends and go out dancing. It had been Adam who had suggested that they return home after the ball rather than before it – something which had deepened her affection for the boy. He would be the one facing the rumours alone, whilst finishing the school year in order to get a better job to provide for his fiancé and child. Time for Marlene had passed quicker than she had ever anticipated – her stomach was rounding, her skin was glowing and her breasts… well, let's not go there. It had only been for the company as to why she had joined the shopping trip, though she herself had bought a simple little white dress to celebrate her last ever day of learning.

Torn between her dorm mate's dramatic love lives, Sirius, Hugo, and school work, Lily was exhausted. Her only time to catch up with Mary was at meal times, or if she ever tore herself away from Reginald to join Lily in the library. Since their date in late October, Mary and Reginald had become _very_ close – though to Lily's knowledge they had never spoken of a romantic element. Lily supposed that they were both too shy, and though the pair was completely mismatched in appearance and even social standing, Lily thought that they really were perfect together. Mary also didn't seem to mind any of that – she never had.

Her friendship with Sirius had been getting progressively more irksome as the term went on. Between him and Marlene, Lily wondered which one of them had the hormones making a baby inside of them and which one was just being a little girl. Fortunately it wasn't Lily who had to put up with them both twenty four hours a day. That job was rested on poor Adam McKinnon's shoulders. Sharing a dorm with Sirius and his entire day with Marlene, Adam became pretty run into the ground by the start of the holidays, and Lily was glad to see that the festive cheer was cheering him up.

As to why Lily did not spend too much time with her friends outside of lessons, lunches and in their dorm, was the infamous Potter-Fox relationship. It had been the point of gossip for many, many weeks now, having people wondering if they would break up, if they were going to get married, or who James was cheating on Mona with. That rumour was one that Lily was least fond of, as the usual suspect always managed to be her. Apparently James' previous romantic feelings for her had not gone forgotten with the new celebrity pairing. She wished they would.

Lily was happily excused from any form of socialisation which either mentioned or involved a messy haired chaser; a fact decided gladly upon by the entire Gryffindor population. Ever since her starring role and upmost embarrassment in the Quidditch match people had decided that it was best that they not be near one another. This was a silently agreed fact, that if Lily was in the room, James would not sit down for too long, and vice versa. Lily had turned to Hugo as her friend and to her studies – James to Mona and what felt like the majority of her own friends.

The match hadn't gone horrifically (not as badly as the rumours suggested). For the first half of the match the chasers had almost total control of the quaffle, and the beaters were violently defending the team well. It was only Lily; the seeker, who had any trouble doing her job. No matter how she studied the pitch, or watched the opposing seeker, she just couldn't spot the snitch. It rarely took her this long in practise, and the captain was getting irritable.

"Evans – we're two hundred points up, we don't really need you to _catch_ the snitch, but at least find it so Hamilton can grab it," he shouted during a called Time Out. Lily nodded, but he didn't discontinue his rage. "I don't know what's on your mind but get your head in the game or we'll replace you,"

"It wouldn't be the first time he's done it," an anonymous voice trickled through the team. James glared around wildly looking for the culprit, but everyone looked innocent. Ignoring the remark, James nodded and they all returned to formation in the skies– Lily circling above the ground like a bird. After that outbreak she wondered how she was ever going to get her head back into the game. He'd replaced her and everyone knew it. Having ignored the rumour mill for the best part of three years, Lily rarely allowed things like this to get to her. Now it was written all over her face.

She was unwanted as a seeker and even a friend nowadays. He didn't look at her, he barely acknowledged her existence, and if he ever spoke to her outside of the Quidditch pitch and referring to her as "Evans" it was a miracle.

Lily swooped over the ground, shaking herself from her thoughts – Slytherin were gaining possession of the Quaffle, and suddenly their lead wasn't large enough for Lily to sit there and twiddle her feelings about the Captain. She knew somewhere in the looming and roaring crowd sat the smug smile of Mona Fox, watching as she proved herself incapable of yet another simplicity when it came to James_. Ignore him – find the snitch_. Desperately, she flew over the heads of her team mates, occasionally checking over to Hamilton to see if he had any sign of the tricky snitch. More than once their eyes met and the pair both shrugged before flying off separately.

Really it was only luck that enabled Lily to spot the snitch, just ten metres away from her and across the length of the pitch from her opponent. Quickly, she swerved her broom, hot on the tail of the little golden wings that fluttered quickly out of her reach. It was her first sighting of the thing so far and she wasn't going to let it go that easily.

She dodged Sirius who was grinning at her, bat in hand. Diving forwards, urging her broomstick forwards as it shuddered with the speed, Lily outstretched her hand, ready to grab the fluttering wings. Racing through the air, wind billowing against her hair she caught up with the snitch. A little farther – she willed herself on – not far now, just keep your eyes on it. Don't look away. Somewhere across the other side of the pitch Hamilton heard the roar of the crowd's anticipation and spotted Lily catching up to the snitch. Don't look away. The commentary was deaf to her ears, but it egged her on, announcing this as a match to remember. Don't look away.

Her eyes flickered from the ball for one second. They turned to the Captain, who in a moment of triumph sat dumbly watching her soar through the sky – watching her watching him. Their eyes met across the vast distance of the pitch and for the first time in weeks both smiled for the other, happy to share this one moment of soaring. Immediately she was transported back to when one summer's evening they had sat on the roof of the castle and smiled and joked.

The memory was short lived however; though her eyes had not budged, her body had been moving towards the snitch at an alarming speed. So had Hamilton. There was a scream from the opposing seeker as Lily collided with him.

The rush of falling through the sky was identical to that of her first time on a broom – James had been with her then, so it seemed only suitable that it was he who cried out as her broom fell from under her and she hurtled towards the ground. Quick thinking Sirius soared forwards trying to pull Lily onto his own broom but he was too far away. She continued to fall, her hair whipping against the cold air and one hand curled around the very tail of her broom. It took all of her strength to haul herself up onto the twig that sat between life and death.

Five foot from the ground she finally steadied herself, and with a stomach lurch and grin she headed back to the centre of the action. Hamilton looked shocked, along with the rest of the other teams, but his eyes were shooting around the pitch searching for the lost snitch. Amused, and her heart hammering inside her chest, Lily held out her arm, the other hand gripping tightly on the Comet. Opening her fingers slightly to show the small golden ball Lily announced the end of the game and triumph for the Gryffindor team. The crowd was hysterical.

Back on two feet and safe ground, the team cheered for her and congratulated her triumph in such a catch. Sirius demanded that she be more careful with her life, but grinned and mussed her hair anyway. Lily pushed him off and followed him into the changing room where people were running into their separate cubicles. It was only the captain whom seemed slightly put off by the match. James Potter marched the team to the showers, and with a miserable frown on his face he stormed off into the captain's shower.

"What's with Potter?" Louis Bronx called out, loud enough for everyone to hear. Sirius whacked him over the head with his stinky socks. "Ew!"

"Probably sick of having to train you dunderheads," Sirius bellowed for the team to get the message. "Get changed," Louis Bronx merely grinned at the older boy and winked his way, leaving Sirius rolling his eyes with an amused grin. The third year they'd hired to replace Marlene changed quietly next to Lily, her blonde hair perfect despite how well she'd played.

"You did really well," she said kindly to Lily. Smiling down at the girl Lily felt bad for not knowing her name.

"Thanks," she replied with soft tone.

"WHO THE HELL HAS STOLEN MY TOWEL?" James yelled from the shower. The small girl shuffled on her feet looking guilty as she towelled her hair off with what was obviously James' towel. Lily felt sorry for her, and quickly picked up her own and swapped it with the girl with a worried smile. She could take Potter – she hoped wilfully.

"That'll be me, Captain. Sorry," Lily yelled back. The room went silent; people stopped rustling about in their little booths and turned to listen. This was surely going to be some good gossip. Lily prepared herself.

"Evans," he said quieter, though still with the air that demanded authority. At this point his head immerged from behind the shower curtain, his hair dripping wet and messy – anger evident in the set of his eyebrow and an entirely too small towel wrapped around his waist. "You might have caught the snitch… but you're not captain," he spat. Walking closer to him, Lily attempted not to make eye contact with his lips or six pack, but trained her treacherous eyes on his own. They flickered to his mouth.

"Sorry captain," she muttered. "I didn't realise towel hierarchy was so important to you," someone (probably Louis Bronx, who Lily decided looked up to Sirius way too much) let out a low whistle.

"The towel hierarchy stands for so much more than dryness, Evans," James started, leaning casually against the wall, ignoring his rather naked being and staring right into Lily's eyes. "I like people knowing where they stand. See – as a mere chaser I didn't know where I stood. I could have a big towel one minute, and the next minute Sirius could have swapped mine for his handkerchief. Plus, who knows where that towel has been? What if the Slytherins used that towel? What if some greasy sod dried himself with _my_ towel?" James continued. An uncomfortable knot formed deep inside her stomach.

"Then… Then I became a captain, and sure it's more work. It's something that maybe someone wouldn't like – they might prefer to be a mere chaser. But with captaincy you understand where you stand – you get the towel and no one can steal it from you. No Slytherins, no Sirius, no Seekers,"

"Are we still talking about towels?" Bronx whispered loudly to Sirius presumably. There was a quiet whacking sound as another wet sock made contact with the boy's face and then silence.

"Well, sorry Cap. I guess us mere… seekers should learn where we stand," Lily somehow choked. The entire room waited for a reaction, but before he could give it to them, the redhead threw the giant crimson towel onto the face of the semi-naked captain, pushed past the keeper and a chaser and escaped from the crowd.

Sirius followed fast. He was still pulling on his shirt when he caught up to her as she fell against a tree. Dropping down beside her he smiled reassuringly.

"I can't believe you took the rap for Chrissy Harris," Sirius chuckled. Lily felt doubly bad – even Sirius knew the girl's name.

"Oh, so that's her name," Lily groaned, forcing the tears away.

"You did that for someone whose name you didn't even know?" Lily merely shrugged in reply. "That was harsh of him,"

"Yeah well – guy loves his towel," she mumbled.

"He insinuated Snape rubbed his greasy hair with you," Sirius reminded her unhelpfully.

"Thanks Sirius, I got that much," Sirius just smiled.

"He told me not to follow you. He said if anyone did he'd kick them from the team," Sirius giggled. "He'll calm down,"

"Yup – and he'll go right back to ignoring my existence whilst drying himself with the highly superior towel," The tears were harder to stop the more she thought about what he'd said; what he had implied and what he meant.

"That's not what… he doesn't love her," Sirius grumbled softly. "Or if he does it's not in the same way he loves you,"

"I don't agree. He doesn't…"

"He loves her because all reason points to the fact that he ought to love her. He loves you despite the fact that everything points away," Sirius pointed out.

"Gee thanks, Black. It's nice to know that she's so much better for him than me," Lily groaned sadly. It was nothing she didn't believe anyway – James Potter and Mona Fox, a couple to remember.

"No, that's not what I meant, silly ginger," Sirius chuckled. "She's mischievous, she's flirty, she's fit, and understands and encourages all of his crap. That's not compatible, that's a mess and two steps off a suicide pact," he continued. "You… you shout at him if he puts a toe out of line, but accept that he's broken the law hundreds of times and continues to do so. You're so… cold to him that even when you liked him you hated him, and he needed to work for it. He needed to see how you weren't like the rest of the population who just fancy him at once. You're gorgeous and beautiful and… your babies would be beautiful,"

"Our babies?" Lily laughed.

"Oh yeah – imagine the hair. All huge and ginger! They'd look Scottish. You should move to Scotland so your Highland babies don't feel so out of place," Sirius joked, and strangely enough his planning her imaginary children actually made her smile. Mary might have been encouraging and caring, Emmeline might have ranted for hours about how much of a prick he is, and Marlene would put on the superiority of someone who was engaged to the love of her life, but only Sirius could honestly make her smile. He believed that there was hope – even if she didn't.

From that point on it had been wholly accepted that to keep James and Lily apart was (once more) a sensible option. Hugo retreated with Lily, and he filled the gap that Severus might once have been. On the first day of the holidays Lily had vowed to have finished all of her homework within one week – something which Hugo admired her for and had asked to join in. Being the first day off in weeks for many people, the library was nearly deserted, and luckily silent. The pair took a seat by the charms section, as it would be Professor Flitwick's essay on silent spells that would be stealing their morning and majority of the afternoon.

"This is twelve inches, right?" Hugo questioned, as he sized different lengths of parchment. Lily nodded as she dipped her quill into a fresh pot of ink. One jet black drop rippled back into the puddle and she wrote the title. Two hours later she was proof reading and revising the content – ensuring that everything was okay. Hugo however had become less and less interested in his work.

"What time is it?" he questioned. Lily pointed his eyes to the giant clock that hung behind her, right above the head of Madam Price. "We've missed lunch," he commented. Lily nodded, attempting to reword a particularly tricky explanation in her head. "I er… might go… grab a bite?" he suggested. Lily bit the end of her quill and smiled.

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you later?" she asked, and with his agreement she returned to her work. Hugo didn't; as he had said, go and grab a bite of late lunch. However, he made his way sharply towards the fifth floor corridor, which was mostly empty during holidays and weekends. When he arrived at his destination, there was one figure leaning against the wall – a grin on his hook nosed face.

Having finished up her essay, Lily decided to return to the common room to see if anyone was around. She figured that she was pretty likely to find Adam and Marlene on the sofa, either whispering sweet nothings in one another's ears, or knitting – a past time they had both became overly attached to. Pushing her way through the portrait of the fat lady, Lily let out a groan upon finding the common room empty of all of her friends. Even her dormitory was vacant when she dropped her school bag off at the end of her bed.

Luckily, as she reached the bottom step of the stairwell, Lily saw a group of four boys walking into the common room. Sirius led the pack and dropped onto the sofa, quickly followed by Remus and Peter. James however had seemed to spot something across the room – on the stairwell where Lily stood. Their eyes met, and his smile died.

"Hey babe," Mona Fox chuckled, as she inched past Lily and skipped over to her boyfriend. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around him. Possessive, Lily thought bitterly as she dropped her head and moped over to Sirius. Fortune was on her side, as James and Mona decided to go and take a walk around the grounds (surely nothing to do with Lily's presence?) hand in hand.

"Bye babe," Peter called out to James who shot him a dark look, and expertly avoided Lily's eyes.

"You okay, Lil?" Remus asked kindly, his gentle smile pointed at her. She nodded.

"I just finished off that charms essay," she admitted. "It's a few inches too long, do you think Flitwick will mind?" which earned her a laugh from the three marauders.

"I'm sure he'll be perfectly happy," Remus assured her. "No Hugo?"

"He ran off to lunch," Lily explained.

"When?" Sirius bolted upright and glared at Lily.

"About… twenty minutes ago?" she pondered, raising her eyebrow at his odd conduct. Sirius stood up at once, and no sooner was Lily questioning his strange behaviour that he ran down the stairwell holding a piece of old parchment and shot through the portrait hole. "That was…"

"Perfectly normal Sirius behaviour," Peter smirked.

"Why's he off being crazy today?" Lily asked the smaller boy. He shrugged.

"Who knows? Maybe the house elves didn't provide enough meatballs in his sandwich? Or maybe it was the fact that we were down in the Great Hall for a good two hours (listening to him rant about the lack of meatballs in his sandwich) and there was no sign of Hugo?" Peter suggested with traditional Marauder humour. Remus chuckled and sent Lily a confused smile.

"Two hours of meatball hate? Must have been tough," Lily chuckled, imagining the vehemence that Sirius could inspire from such an offence.

"Oh no – we had a nice… forty minutes of that time listening to him complain to James about the infamous Fox," Peter continued. Remus' head turned with purposeful slowness to glare at Peter.

"Er… why's that?" Lily asked awkwardly, both needing to know the answer and dreading it.

"She snores," Peter said pointedly. Lily got the hint. "Plus, she's a bore to be around,"

"Peter, that's mean," Remus interjected. "But… I do have to agree. She's very…"

"False," Peter finished.

"Everything she does and says is a play on James' reputation," Remus explained. "She tries too hard,"

"And he's miserable," Peter groaned. "He won't admit it though,"

"Maybe he's happy?" Remus suggested with disbelief.

"Or maybe he just thinks he is," Wormtail responded, which stirred something in Lily. Something that fit together, but something she couldn't put her finger on. "Perhaps she's really enthusiastic in…"

"PETER!" Remus exclaimed at once. "Shut up!"

Sirius darted down corridors, not even attempting at silence. He had the cloak with him, and once he approached the corridor where "SEVERUS SNAPE" and "HUGIN DAGWOOD" stood alone (according to the map) he would silence his step. The run was a quick one, as he knew all the secret passageways that would lead him there the fastest. In fact, the final corridor he ran down (deserted as it always was – hidden in the wall) took him straight behind a tapestry beside which they both spoke.

"You played your part well, Dagwood. I'm actually surprised," Snape's voice snarled through the corridor.

"Gee thanks, Severus," Hugo joked with the superior air he kept whilst conversing with the Slytherin. It was something different to his normal 'kind' facade. "When do I get the mark?"

"He will have to give you it himself," Snape explained. "And in any case – your loyalties have not yet been proven,"

"I know. I'll recruit someone soon," Hugo replied. "I might take Christmas off – these dark deeds make me think that maybe I'll be on Santa's naughty list?"

"You want to see who has a darker side? Santa or…" Snape snapped.

"Yes Severus, I get it," Hugo rejected. "So is this meeting adjourned yet?"

"You remember the time and place?" the Slytherin demanded. There was no reply – Sirius assumed he must've nodded. "Oh, and stay away from Evans,"

"What was that Severus?" Hugo wondered.

"You heard me. I've seen you together. A lot," Severus snarled. At once Sirius didn't envy Hugo. "Stay away,"

"Or what? You'll send someone like me to confound me into dating some other girl?" Hugo joked.

"You're not dating her," Severus said, almost like a question.

"Not yet – but there is a ball coming up," Hugo goaded. Sirius could hear the gears in Severus' head grinding.

"If you so much as touch her…"

"You'll do what? Tell your boss that I'm shagging the girl you like? Don't make me laugh," and even Sirius had to admit that he wanted to punch the sod.

"I'll tell our boss that you're fraternizing with a mudblood," Severus growled, and Sirius wanted to punch _that_ sod too.

"Always with the name calling – this is why girls don't like you Severus. Girls… they like to be called pretty and fabulous – maybe even funny, but generally they don't like to be insulted and hurt… except the weird ones like Bellatrix Black… I get the feeling that a Black would just love to be beaten up…" Hugo joked. The blood pulsed in Sirius' temples, and every ounce of self-control he possessed (and it was _not_ his most forth coming quality) went into keeping still and keeping silent.

"I should introduce you to Regulus…" Snape joked, and Sirius saw his footprints moving in the opposite direction of the Gryffindor.

Silently now, Sirius pounced forwards, continuing through the unknown corridor, leaving one wall between himself and his prey. The map guided him, keeping them both side by side, until the Slytherin turned left and headed down some stairs. Sirius jumped out of the nearest tapestry and rushed off behind Snape, the cloak keeping him hidden from sight. When he finally caught up to the greasy Slytherin there was a moment of recognition in which Snape thought he heard something, followed very quickly by the breaking of his nose and a sharp pain running through Sirius' fist.

"Keep my brother out of your stupid games," he spat as he tripped the crying boy over with use of his invisible foot.

Emmeline had been having a bad week. Firstly, all of her friends had been off gallivanting with other people – Mary and Reginald rarely strayed from one another – Lily was being all melancholy by Hugo's side – Marlene was always around, but she kept complaining about baby things and Adam was a constant companion for her. It was getting to the dire lengths that she was actually tempted to find Charlotte and Donna and listen to their boring gossip about James Potter and Mona Fox.

Of course, she could always go and find Lily in the library (when had she allowed her friend to become such a stereotypical nerd?), where she would likely be hiding. She could even tag along with Potter and Mona. The latter option would have been more appealing if they stopped snogging for one minute to have a decent conversation with anyone. Emmeline was sure that James' strategy was that if he had his tongue down her throat she wouldn't talk to him. Fair reasoning – she thought. Out of the two whole conversations herself and the girl had shared, she had found her to be severely dull, talking only of James and herself.

As it was, Emmeline was left dragging her feet down empty corridors in attempt to find something interesting to do. Normally she would be home for the holidays, but with the ball coming up she had vowed to stay to say goodbye to Marlene. Plus everyone would be talking about it come January and she couldn't miss out on the talking point of the year. That was; of course, if she found herself a date. Once upon a time she might've been happy going hen, but all of her friends seemed to have found cockerels. Or something similar – she didn't understand muggle metaphors.

She knew that once upon a time she'd had the chance at something greater than any of them had. The fear and the prejudice she had grown up with had ruined any chances of that, however. He was on her mind though. Remus Lupin – the boy she'd fancied and loved for ever so long, and who could barely look at her without an aching pain in his eyes. She'd been thinking that maybe he could give her a chance to prove that she didn't believe the things she'd said. That she liked him, still.

Lily had reminded her that Remus had been a werewolf for the entire time she'd known him, and that he'd always been a sweet and gentle character – despite his certain… problems. It had taken time, but she saw that even when he was ill – even when he was about to turn (a thought which still chilled her to the bone) he managed to keep calm. He controlled Sirius' tempers when his own was probably tearing up inside him. Remus Lupin did not become his illness.

Thinking back to all the time they spent together she realised that it was obvious. She would have preferred that he hadn't lied to her, and that he'd have been upfront with what he was, but she understood why he couldn't. When he finally mustered the confidence to share it with her she had thrown it in his face. All of the kisses and the romance and the promises for the future were gone.

She had ruined it all.

Turning back on her own path, Em embodied the Gryffindor spirit and headed back towards the Common room. Her legs were actually shaking with the weight of all that she was about to do. All she had put him through, and in turn herself would soon to come to nothing. Soon their trials and tribulations would be rewarded with a simple 'yes', or a heartfelt embrace. She finally had the strength to let him back into her heart.

"Remus!" she gasped, knocking into him right in front of the Fat Lady's portrait. She'd been so focused on finding him that she hadn't seen him leaving the common room. Perfect timing – it's fate, she convinced herself.

"Oh, hullo Emmeline," he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding eye contact. He was wearing a heavy jacket and some brown trousers, with a bag flung over his back. He was probably off to the library – maybe she could join him after she asked him.

"I was just looking for you," she blushed as she pulled a loose strand of fringe and twirled it around her finger. He'd grown in the last year, and now he stood looming over her more than ever.

"You were?" he questioned, obviously genuinely surprised.

"I was," she giggled. "I was just wondering… you're going to the ball right?" she grinned, forcing his eyes to look at her. He blushed – perfect she thought. Then he nodded, unable to speak. Coughing to clear his throat he answered in the affirmative. "I thought we should go together,"

"Erm… what?" he sputtered.

"Be my date for the ball?" she chuckled, scared now. He was probably just shocked by her forwardness.

"I can't…" Remus choked. He was going bright red now, his eyes showing a fear and pain that Emmeline felt she could make right. Her face fell, showing the disappointment she felt.

"Oh… did you already ask someone?" she questioned, feeling her heart slow and drop into her stomach.

"No I… er… I just don't hate myself that much,"

_That could have gone better _– Emmeline figured an hour after the horrific incident. She had taken back to walking aimlessly around the castle (though she now had an aim: Avoid all marauders – especially Remus) dragging her feet. Needless to say she was sure that Remus would tell Sirius who would laugh at her for weeks about her stupidity and the entire school would see her alone at the ball and she would be the laughing stock of the entire school. _I don't hate myself that much…_

"Emmeline?" Reginald Cattermole called, standing right ahead of her. "You okay?"

"Oh, hullo Reginald," she muttered bitterly. Reginald was the reason she had no friends at the moment and therefore the reason she'd convinced herself asking out Remus was a good idea. She wanted to kick him, but that sincere look in his eye that said he was genuinely worried (if not slightly scared) of her. "I'm superb thanks. I'm just hanging around with all of my friends. Well, not all of them - nearly headless Nick cancelled on us so me and this portrait of Sir Caddogan were discussing the legal system regarding murder," she said deadpan. Reg blushed and his eyebrows furrowed, obviously unsure of the expected response. Before he could question her Emmeline shouted, "Of course not you idiot! You stole my best friend!"

"I thought Lily was your best friend," Reg mumbled, obviously not used to being shouted at.

"Yeah, well Hugo stole _her_, so I want Mary!" she stropped childishly. She was actually aware of how selfishly stupid she was being, but regardless she didn't remove the scowl from her face.

"I'm er... really sorry," he stuttered in reply to the strange girl. "But... Mary wants to hang out with me as well,"

"No she doesn't," Emmeline lied quickly. She caught the words coming out of her mouth before she realised what she was doing. "She told me that she doesn't actually like hanging out with you, and she only does it because she feels sorry for you," Reg's face fell from confusion to hurt. Emmeline regretted her words almost immediately.

"Are... you sure?" he asked sadly. The girl nodded, unable to do anything else but continue the horrible facade. "Well... right, thanks Emmeline. That... saves me a lot of time," his voice was shaking - obviously trying very hard not to show was what obvious. Despite his being totally wrong for Mary, he loved her in a way that Emmeline didn't understand. It was the love that Remus had held for her; totally beyond her knowledge. And as he walked away, turned the corner and fell against the wall in a shudder of tears Emmeline could do nothing but watch and think to herself that she did not understand the likes of Reginald Cattermole.

Feel wretched for her lie, Emmeline continued to mope around, until she noticed that it was dinner time. She took a confusing route to take her to the Great Hall, and ended up walking down by the kitchens when she heard someone calling her name.

"Emmie?" a soft voice called out. Turning quickly Emmeline saw Amos Diggory stood with his hands in his robe pockets. He had grown his hair out since they had dated last year, and it now fell floppy over one of his eyes. She smiled, happy that it hadn't been any of her Gryffindor friends. "Are you okay?" he questioned, noticing the look on her face.

"Oh yeah," she lied quickly. Amos wasn't the kind of person who knew her as anything but happy-Emmie. "Bit bored,"

"Me too! Naturally Roy has kicked me out of the dorm," Amos tutted. "He and Donna are... celebrating Christmas,"

"Ah, so they're both suffering from premature celebration?" Emmeline joked, to which Amos burst into uncontrollable fits of laugher. Nodding and wheezing, he muttered the joke over and over to himself under his breath. Chuckling along, Emmeline smiled over at the boy, whose hair was actually very much longer than she'd first noticed.

"Prem... as in... you're a rave," he gasped for air with a large grin and a red face. "So you staying for the ball?" he asked her as he finally cooled down. Emmeline nodded, reminded of her disastrous socialisation earlier that day. "I suppose you must have a date?"

"Er, no..." she replied awkwardly. _No one hates themselves that much, I'm afraid Amos_, she wanted to add, but she didn't want Amos to see her as a vulnerable girl. To Amos Diggory she was the untouchably funny, year older Emmeline Vance.

"Me either," Amos grinned. There was a small silence. "Fancy it?"

"Fancy what?" she questioned.

"Going to the ball with me of course!" Amos exclaimed, blushing in the cheeks. "I was going to ask Lottie, but only because Gilderoy suggested I do so. I'd much rather go with you," Amos charmed in the way that Amos did. He had a flair about him which made him somewhat likeable but sometimes she really wanted to smack him around the head. Now was not one of those times - now she nodded with a sly smile.

"Yeah - actually Amos that sounds great," she said happily. The younger boy's face burst into a smile of victory and then calmed.

"Great, yes! I'll meet you in the Great Hall at seven?" Em nodded in reply and they said their goodbyes as they parted to their separate tables.

Mary fell into her seat beside Emmeline, who was either severely enjoying her Shepard's pie with a beauteous fancy, or was avoiding her eyes. Confused she dropped her head onto the other girl's shoulder and sighed heavily.

"Why do none of my friends like me?" she moped uncharacteristically. Emmeline swallowed her mouthful guiltily.

"Erm, what?" she mumbled, seemingly innocently, taking another large bite of pie.

"Reg! I was going to ask him to the ball but… I went to go chat to him just now and he didn't want to talk to me," Mary explained.

"Maybe he's dying and he's trying to save you the pain of being his woman?" James Potter chuckled from her other side. He was sat with Mona who begrudged having his attentions turned to others.

"Or perhaps your and his parents are in an unknown feud and his father has refused to allow him near you!" Sirius chimed in from opposite James. "Regio and Mary-ette"

"Maybe he's a spy – sent by the ministry and he's not allowed to get involved with-" James started.

"Okay, we get the point boys," Mona interrupted. She had a frown knitted into her brow.

"What's up with you?" James asked pretty tactlessly.

"Oh! I don't know! Maybe I'm annoyed because my own boyfriend hasn't asked me to the ball?" she huffed. Mary rolled her eyes – typical Fox-drama. This was the stuff gossip was made of, so sure enough Donna Shacklebolt was on the scene.

"Am I meant to ask you to the ball?" James fretted oddly.

"Yes!" she hissed. Sirius chuckled and the girl threw him a glare. James sighed.

"Well I've kind of already asked Sirius to be my date," James muttered under his breath.

"He was going to ask Remus but I look so dashing in my robes," Sirius explained.

"He really does clean up well," James agreed with a longing look at Sirius. The other boy faux-blushed and hid behind his napkin. Mary and Emmeline giggled as he fluttered his eyelashes seductively.

"I don't understand your humour," Mona noted, as she ripped a bread roll in half. James glared at her.

"You're boring," he informed her – something which every person there wished he said sincerely. To the group's disappointment she merely smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek. Sirius mimed vomiting. "Fine then, do you want to go to the ball with me?"

"If you insist," Mona winked at Mary, who turned away and dropped her head against the table and continued to moan about her long lost Reg.

"So we've got all the decorations?" Frank asked Meg as he went over another list regarding the planning for the ball. They'd been working vigorously on perfecting the day for weeks now, and this was their final meeting checking that everything was in place. The rumours flying around about the ball were so massive he was scared that they wouldn't meet expectation.

"Everything but the trees," Meg agreed as she labelled the last of the boxes. "Hagrid's providing those,"

"Well then that's perfect!" Frank grinned, rolling up the parchment and falling back on the sofa in the head's office. Meg sauntered across the room and sat next to him.

"We've done well, Frank," she commented with a small smile.

"I agree completely – everyone's looking forwards to it," Frank agreed. Meg turned to him.

"I got my dress the other day," the girl smiled. Her dark hair was curled and held up in a messy bun – one strand was freely hanging down by the corner of her mouth. "It's golden,"

"Sounds nice – my mum sent over my dress robes. They're horrific," Frank admitted, which Meg found hilarious. Grabbing the lone strand of hair she twirled it around her finger and she softly giggled. Frank suddenly felt as though he should get going. "Alice won't let me see her gown, naturally," Meg immediately stiffened up.

"You can see mine if you want," she purred. For a moment Frank thought that she was joking, but her seductive eyes and her body language leaning towards him said differently.

"Meg…" he started, but she dived onto him. Her hands were in his hair and her tongue sort of ramming at his lips. Awkwardly grunting an objection to these actions, Frank tried to gently push her off of him, but she seemed to be attached to him via his face. This was not good – Frank thought silently to himself. Formulating a plan quickly, he waited until she needed a break for air and wriggled out from under her grip. Pouncing across the room to safety he gasped for air and straightened out. Meg stared up at him, apparently confused at his rejection. "I'm with Alice!"

"You've been with her ages! Witch Weekly says that wizards like to try new things!" Meg informed him, apparently entrusting her dignity onto an article probably written by a spinster.

"New things with our same girlfriends, maybe!" Frank sputtered, unable to make sense of her logic. "I love Alice, and I do not intend to leave her out of boredom or… anything!"

"That's stupid – are you going to like… marry her or something?" Meg said moodily. She was curled up, with her arms around her knees, looking at him with an angry look on her face.

"Maybe one day!" Frank retorted, and smiled, thinking that it might actually be a possibility: he and Alice; together against the rest of the world.

"Are you sure you don't want to like… make out?" Meg said, attempting to compose herself back into the tigress she'd been earlier. Frank shook his head.

"No, never. Sorry Meg; you're lovely but…" he stumbled over the correct words that wouldn't insult her, but would get his point across.

"Alice is lovelier," she finished for him. He nodded.

"For me… yeah,"

Outside the door of the head student's office Alice Griffiths stood with a gawking smile over her face. She'd come to surprise Frank with a 'walk around the castle' before they headed back to the common room, and been surprised herself by seeing the head girl practically straddling him. Heart-broken she had hesitated at the door – did she really want that conflict? Just as she made her decision to stay quiet, Frank had successfully pushed the girl off of him and confessed his ever long love for her, and practically admitted he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

The only thing to sort out now was the huge slap that Meg needed.

Pushing the door open, she saw boxes and papers piled everywhere. All of the preparations for the ball, Alice assumed. Storming over to Meg, she saw a small girl cowering against the couch, looking terrified at the Gryffindor. There was definitely a reason she was placed in Hufflepuff. She only slapped her once – and not even very hard, but apparently hard enough to draw tears from her and leave her crying as Alice bounced onto Frank and snogged him before he could object to her whacking his head girl around the face.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I know,"

It was two days until the ball, and when Lily woke up at eight thirty to the first day without rain in a week she decided that she should go and visit Hagrid. Dressing in some casual robes and skipping down to breakfast, Lily filled herself with croissants and hot chocolate to accommodate for the cold weather. It was about nine when Hugo and Peter walked into the Great Hall and sat beside her. Peter was listening to Hugo's story about the time he'd told Moaning Myrtle a joke and she had actually laughed.

"It was somewhat terrifying," he ended, which earned a laugh from Peter. "Morning Lily," he smiled at her.

"Hullo Hugo, Peter," she greeted between mouthfuls of buttery-bready-goodness.

"What're you up to?" he asked as he helped himself to some toast.

"I was mentally composing an ode to croissants," Lily admitted, staring admiringly at her breakfast.

"Let's hear it," Peter encouraged as he himself tried a croissant. That was odd – she thought – Peter never ate croissants.

"Oh it's not great," Lily laughed, but she cleared her throat and began. "Croissant – Oh croissant, you buttery bread. You are the reason I get out of bed. The perfect start to a long winter's day. Croissant, oh croissant – you make me so gay," Lily blushed as Hugo and Peter applauded with fits of laughter.

"You're an odd girl, Evans," Peter noted, to which Lily wholly agreed.

"Oh yes – that's probably why I don't have a date to the ball," Lily said with a bitter edge. Having heard about Emmeline's date with Amos, Lily was feeling as though she would be the only girl without a date. Then again, Reginald had apparently been avoiding Mary, but they were obviously going to go together.

"Are you kidding? Go with Sirius," Peter suggested. Lily thought – that might not be a bad idea, unless Sirius had his own date, but she hadn't heard anything from him.

"Go with me," Hugo piped in, his eyes not quite on Lily. He was looking somewhere behind her, at someone at another table.

"You don't have to ask me because you feel sorry for me, Hugo," Lily assured him and sipped her hot chocolate. His eyes swept to hers, and she felt immediately calm. He was smiling that charming smile, and his words meant so much to her.

"I want you to be my date," he informed her. Lily nodded, finding herself agreeing to it at once. "Perfect, I'll meet you in the common room?" another nod. "So Lily, what're your plans for today?"

"I was going to go and visit Hagrid," Lily told him.

"Nice. Pete and I were going to break out my new Wizard's Chess set," he referred to the one which he attempted to make Lily play him a few days ago. Lily had rejected, saying that Wizard's Chess wasn't her thing – in all honestly she loved it, but she had only ever had one worthy opponent.

Twenty minutes later (woolly hat, scarf and gloves attained) Lily was on her way down to Hagrid's hut. She was about one hundred metres away when she realised that something wasn't quite right. The impressive pumpkin patch that Hagrid had started the day after Halloween was torn to shreds. From her distance she couldn't make out the face of the person digging into the frozen ground to supposedly fix the damage, but she could tell that it wasn't Hagrid. They were entirely too small to be Hagrid. As she neared, her stomach dropped as a mop of dark and sweaty hair was identifiable.

Unable to hide, and too slow to run around Lily found herself face to face with James. His cloak was hung over a pile of crates, but his ears and nose were both red. Leaning on the spade, he smiled awkwardly.

"Hey Evans," he said almost civilly. Lily smiled in return.

"Is there a reason you're battering Hagrid's pumpkin patch, or did you just feel that there weren't enough sexy gardeners in Hogwarts?" Lily joked.

"You think I'm sexy?" he said quickly, with a flirtatious wink. They both laughed, until they remembered themselves.

"I think that you think you're sexy. I do not delude myself with such…" Lily stumbled as she racked her mind for the right word.

"Obvious observations?" he ended for her. She glared. "Remove all false-hoods and no matter what is left is the truth. It is scientifically deductible that I am sexy, Evans,"

"You've been reading Sherlock?" Lily pointed out.

"You intrigued me," was his short reply.

"Oh wow – boy wonder is getting into muggle literature?" Lily joked in attempt to diffuse the tension. They hadn't actually spoken since the Quidditch match, without anyone else involved.

"In answer to your question, yesterday was Remus' time of the month, and the PMS was something awful," James told her. Lily took another look around – the wrecked garden – the shattered crates – the scratch extended from James' left eye to the right corner of his mouth.

"Is he okay?" Lily asked foolishly. It was hard to believe that Remus could ever be okay after such a change – but he didn't have to be awful.

"A damn sight better than this soil – does Rubeus not know what fertilizer is?" James huffed, as he attempted to cut the spade into the soil. The cold weather obviously didn't help.

"Do _you_ know what fertilizer is?" Lily questioned, as James didn't seem the kind to have any interest in any form of herbology.

"I know that it smells like hufflepuffs and is not something that interests me," James answered. "What're you doing, venturing down here?"

"I came to drop Hagrid's Christmas present actually," Lily explained, gesturing to the small package in her hand. It was a moving figurine of a Hungarian Horntail – Hagrid was obsessed with Dragons.

"Ah well – I'll leave you be," he smiled and turned his attentions back to his spade. He grinned through a shiver.

"You're cold," Lily pointed out. James shook his head.

"Nothing I can't deal with! Quidditch players…"

"Are trained to deal with any weathers, I know. But it's below freezing out here, and if you're going to pointlessly fix this damage then you should be warm," she insisted. Walking towards him for the first time in too long, Lily removed her hat, gloves and scarf, and popped it on his head, around his neck and into his hands. James stood like a (no pun intended) deer caught in the headlights. He was unmoving as Lily wrapped him up. When she was done she stood back immediately and watched him pull on the gloves that were way too big for her (knitted by Marlene). He looked a lot warmer now. Turning around she walked over to the door and went to knock.

"Lily!" he called across to her. She turned and saw him watching her – exactly as she had left him. "Thank you…" he said quietly.

"No problem, Potter – it's just a hat," she waved him off.

"Then I'm sorry," to which she didn't have a reply and when she knocked on Hagrid's door, he didn't say a word.

Hagrid greeted her with an engulfing hug, and invited her in. He passed her a ready-made cup of tea and they discussed the upcoming ball. The giant was happy to be contributing the decorations (trees) and had his suit all ready. Shuffling over to the corner of his hut, he removed an ugly brown suit and showed Lily, enthusiastically explaining how he was going to have his hair. Lily laughed and told him about her dress, to which he smiled.

"You have better keep away from Potter in that one," he instructed her. Choking on her tea Lily tried to look innocent.

"Erm, James actually has a girlfriend," Lily told the man, who smiled knowingly.

"I saw the two of you out there," Hagrid winked. "Nothing sweeter,"

"That was… he was cold," Lily blushed. "Plus, he's a total… arrogant…" she stuttered.

"That boy came down here at seven am and insisted that he helped fix my garden. I told him – it's too late in the year for that – but he just shook his head, stole the spade and started digging. Seems to think it's his fault that… I've said too much," Hagrid stopped, looking pale.

"I know about Remus, Hagrid," Lily assured him and took another sip on her tea. Secretly she thought that James probably thought it was his fault because he thought it was his job to control the wolf, but she said nothing. No one knew about the three marauders being animagi, except for her.

"Oh… good," Hagrid calmed. "James is a good lad, and no girlfriend is going to get in the way of…"

He continued in that frame of mind for ten minutes, until he realised Lily's complete adversity to the topic and changed to talking about the ball. She told Hagrid that she would be going with Hugo, and he said that he had a bad feeling about that one. Lily supposed it was because Hagrid had a bad feeling about any one that didn't help him with the gardening, but she said nothing. There was a knock on the door around lunch time.

"James!" Hagrid announced. "Come in!" Lily wanted to crawl under the table and stop existing, but unfortunately she didn't know a spell that would cause such an effect, so she just sat there, looking intently into her nearly empty tea cup. It had been refilled twice already. "Lily's here,"

"Yes, we chatted," James grinned at Lily.

"Cup of tea?" Hagrid offered over the tea pot, to which James gratefully poured himself a mug. Warming himself over the beverage, he scooted into the seat beside Lily.

"That soil is awful," James noted. "I am afraid there was little I could do,"

"That's okay, James – I'll send for you once it warms up some," Hagrid joked. "So the ball, eh?"

"The ball indeed," James agreed. "Got your best suit ready?" he gestured to the brown thing lying over the bed. Hagrid grinned.

"Yup – and Lily's got her dress and her date," Hagrid said. Lily burned red in her face. Hagrid actually seemed pleased with himself for bringing it up.

"What?" James spat. "You… who're you going with?" he asked coolly. Lily wondered why he even bothered asking – it's not like he'd notice where or who she was with.

"Erm, Hugo," she commented. James coughed. "I think he only asked me as a pity thing,"

"No," James said darkly. "No, Hugo likes you. Obviously – he follows you to the library enough,"

"He just wants to study…" Lily objected.

"No one likes books that much Evans, he just wants to get into your robes!" James shouted. Hagrid choked on his tea. Lily felt rage boiling up inside her. James seethed at the table, refusing to look at her, and she wanted to hit him around the face. Before she did anything rash, she dropped her mug to the table, grabbed her cloak and stormed out of the hut, leaving Hagrid gawking at James, and James angrily sipping cold tea.

She was freezing and half way to the castle when she realised that James still had her hat, gloves and scarf. The thought of going to retrieve those items was humiliating so she continued on, shivering as she headed up to the castles warm walls, where the fires were lit and her bed seemed like a great place to lie for a while – say a week or so?

By the time she reached the common room she was less angry, and more hurt. Remus was sat beside the fire, looking ill but otherwise fine. He was whispering to Sirius.

"He's been following him around for days!" Remus hissed. Sirius was immersed in a book (Quidditch: The Origins and Games Of) and didn't seem to be paying much attention to his friend. "I don't like the guy any more than you do, which is why Peter should stop following him about!"

"Honestly Remus – Peter's fine. He's a big boy," Sirius soothed. "If you miss his company you could always kidnap him?"

"You need to take this more seriously… oh Hi, Lily," Remus smiled, stopping his worries as soon as she approached. There was no question in her mind who they were talking about. Who would want to bitch about Hugo around his date to the ball? Suddenly she realised that even Sirius and Remus wouldn't want to be around her right now. Sadly, she greeted them and said she was feeling a little ill, so she should go lie down. No one argued – Sirius returned to his book and Remus to his fretting.

Her bed rest had lasted about ten minutes, before she heard a screeching from the stair well.

"AMOS WAS GOING TO ASK ME!" Charlotte shouted as she pushed the door open. Donna followed quickly after and slammed the door behind her. Neither of them seemed to notice her presence, so she pretended to be sleeping. If they fell for that premise they were stupid – who was going to be able to sleep through their screaming? "HE WAS GOING TO ASK ME, AND NOW HE'S SUPPOSEDLY GOING WITH THAT SLAG?"

"She was probably just lying," Donna lied. She knew very well that Amos and Emmeline would be going together, but for her safety she probably decided it was best to lie.

"You're right! I just need to ask him myself," Charlotte said decidedly. "Then that slag will be put in her place,"

"Is there no one else you could go with? Maybe Remus? I bet that'd annoy her!" Donna suggested. Lily felt sorry for Donna – she was obviously in a very tough place – caught between not wanted to let Charlotte embarrass herself and not wanting to admit that Emmeline and Amos would be going to the ball together. Nonetheless Lily did not agree with treating Remus like an object in their pretty fights.

"He probably won't even be there. He looks really ill," Charlotte muttered. "I'm going to ask Amos,"

"Er…" Donna stuttered, trying to come up with a reason not to do that. Suddenly Charlotte seemed to notice the Lily-shaped lump in her bed.

"Is she awake?" Charlotte said. Lily played dead.

"She looks like it," Donna puzzled. "Poke her?"

"That will wake her up, idiot – come on, let's go!" Lily heard footsteps and the opening and closing of the door before she let out a sigh and a little laugh. Bitches – poke me – I dare you – she mentally threatened.

Sirius was getting bored with both his book (he'd read it fifty times before) and Remus' muttering, which was the one thing that led him to be searching for Hugo Dagwood with the marauders map. Having previously vowed to himself to stay out of Hugo's business he hadn't thought the'd find himself here, hidden beneath the invisibility cloak. He was safe from the eyes of the occasional passer-by as he closed the gap between himself and the library, but knew that if James ever found out what he was doing he'd kill him. As he reached the door he realised that he'd have to wait for someone to open the door for him to enter without arousing suspicion. Unfortunately, waiting for someone to use the library with only a few days until Christmas was a whole task in itself.

Ten minutes passed without a hint of any human life and Sirius considered opening the door minutely and slipping in – however that wasn't something he could risk with Peter around. He'd notice the shifty behaviour and as he knew about the cloak he'd put two and two together. A pair of footsteps sounded and Sirius glanced at the map – of course – Lily Evans was making her way towards him, though of course she didn't know he was there. She was alone with a bag thrown over her shoulder, and as she reached out for the door handle Sirius got an urge to grab her. It'd make her jump – he chuckled at the thought, but knew that he couldn't do such a thing, because if anything says invisible man is following you, it's the sounds of a screaming woman.

Shimming through the crack she created in the door, he made his way behind her as she sought out a table. Luckily she didn't actually spot Hugo and Peter, because they were hidden at the back of the expansive room with their chess set. Lily settled herself into the book Sirius had helped a 12 year old James Potter hunt through muggle book stores for hours and hours, and Sirius went on. Behind the charms section sat an arrangement of tables – all empty except one. At this table sat Peter and Hugo. The latter boy was obviously winning at chess, but Peter didn't seem put off. On the contrary he was happily discussing the ball and Hugo's date.

"I'm surprised no one else has asked her," Pete said as Hugo annihilated his bishop.

"Well, I did," Hugo said. "It was a bit stupid of you to suggest she go with Sirius,"

"Sorry," Peter said quickly. "I just thought…"

"Wrong. Lily barely even likes him," Hugo muttered as his queen moved to Hugo's pawn.

"They used to…" Pete stuttered.

"Yeah, I know everything about their past. As if Lily wasn't all too happy to tell me about their little love triangle. Bit pathetic really – She still thinks James likes her," Hugo laughed.

"He does…" Peter pointed out. The other boy shot him a dark look.

"No, idiot – he is with Mona. Though I have to give her some credit – she doesn't give up very easily. Even after I "let slip" about him and Bridget she forgave him. Which is why I had to make sure he and Mona…" Shocked, Sirius tripped over the leg of a nearby chair. Swearing under his breath, he hoped that no one heard, but Hugo trailed off. "Did you hear that?"

"Probably just Madam Price?" Peter suggested as he sneakily moved one of his pieces. Hugo dismissed the sound with a nod, turned back to the game and took the freshly moved pawn, calling check in its absence. "I don't think Evans will quickly give up on James…"

"Well what do you know? You're likely going to die alone…" Hugo said casually. Peter's face fell and Sirius stopped. "Asking you for romantic advice is like asking Sirius for what to get my mother for Christmas," and that broke him. Running around the corner, Sirius quickly removed the invisibility cloak and ran back around the bookshelf, wand extended. Hugo and Peter both jumped at seeing this view, but the former put on a smarmy grin. "Speaking of the devil,"

"You son of a banshee! How dare you insult me, James or Peter? C'mon Pete," Sirius said, gesturing for his friend to join him. Peter stayed put. "Peter!"

"Bugger off Sirius," the smaller boy mumbled. Taken aback, Sirius dropped his wand.

"What?" he exclaimed.

"I said… bugger off – you're being stupid,"

"I don't think you understand…"

"I'm not an idiot, Sirius! I understand!" Peter shouted.

"Voices down! Mr Black please leave the boys to their game!" Madam Price shrieked across the library. He was surprised she hadn't marched up to him and led him out by the ear. Apparently some form of luck was on his side though, because as he stormed away from Peter and a smug looking Hugo he heard a smaller voice calling his name.

"Sirius?" it was Lily. Taking a deep breath, he turned to see her looking curiously at him from her table. "What's up?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Sirius moaned, stole a look at Madam Price and sat down opposite Lily. "You're going to the ball with Hugo?"

"Oh yeah… sorry," she said glumly. To his relief she didn't actually look happy about this fact – more completely neutral. That wasn't very Lily-like behaviour, he thought, but he didn't push it.

"Just… be careful, okay?" he said softly, but for some reason this made her mad – Lily-mad.

"I don't know what it is with you and James but surprisingly enough I can actually look after myself, and I don't need your egos telling me who is just after me to get in my robes!" she screamed, and now it was her job to be told off by Madam Price. Stuffing her book in her bag she stormed off leaving Sirius seriously confused by himself. The slamming of the library door announced her leave.

Having knitted almost twenty woolly hats in a week, Marlene was getting seriously fed up with the knit one pearl one. Luckily, the upcoming ball seemed to be taking up most of the time in the dormitory and common room. The list of dramas was endless. Emmeline had a date with Amos, which (according to Lily) Charlotte planned on rectifying, though her silence on the matter was somewhat creepy. The redhead herself was going with Hugo, but she didn't appear to be very happy about this, and every time someone mentioned either him, James or Sirius she would shout at them and storm off. Mary would cry every time anyone asked her if she had a date, because she apparently thought Reginald hated her. Personally, Marlene thought that for a pregnant person her life was pretty much stress free.

However, she did think decide on morning of the ball that she needed to sort the oestrogen levels in the room out. Adam had warned her that it wasn't a very good idea, but she told him that together they would have to stop a lot of hormones (between her and the Bump). He just smiled in that way that said he didn't agree with her but he would let her do whatever she needed to do. At breakfast she decided to start with Mary.

Walking over to the Hufflepuff table would have once been a completely easy thing to do, but ever since the entire pregnancy escapade she felt a lot shakier in what people thought of her. Of course, no one other than Lily, Emmeline, Mary and the Marauders knew about the bump, and she was glad that it had managed to stay that way. Reginald was sat with another boy, whom Marlene recognized as someone from her herbology class in third year. Smiling she sat beside him.

"Hey," she greeted. Reginald turned white immediately. "Reg, can we chat?"

"Erm…" he stuttered, unable to argue so he nodded and stood up, following her into the Great Hall.

"So, you need to ask Mary to the ball," she informed him reasonably. Reginald shook his head.

"She doesn't even like me!" Reginald groaned. Okay – that was weird, Marlene thought.

"What are you talking about? The girl's been in fits of misery ever since you two stopped hanging out," Marlene explained. "She was going to ask you to the ball…"

"But Emmeline said…" the boy mumbled. Marlene stopped dead.

"What did Em say?" she demanded.

"I don't think…" she glared at the boy. "She said that Mary only hung around with me because she felt sorry for me,"

"Emmeline Vance is a big fat liar, okay? Mary is enamoured with you, and if you don't ask her to the ball and claim her as your own someone else is going to do it and you'll have lost your one chance of happiness forever! Capeesh?" Marlene enforced.

"You're really scary, you know?" he pointed out, which made her laugh out loud.

"I have been told," she chuckled. Though she herself had doubts about Mary and Reginald, she could tell that there was something about him that made her feel safe.

"So… I'll just… Mary doesn't just feel sorry for me?" he questioned. It felt weird to have someone who Mary so obviously liked more than any of the other guys she'd met be so… unsure.

"Of course not. She really likes you," Marlene assured him.

"But she's so… and I'm so…"

"Perfect for her. You seem to understand what no other guy does. That she needs safety. Ever since she was attacked she's been vulnerable and…" Reginald nodded.

"She needs someone to tell her that it's all okay? I know that," Marlene smiled at him. He really was everything her friend needed, and this was probably her last chance to make it happen.

"Which is why she likes you, silly. Plus you're kind of cute…" Reginald blushed. "Go get her!" the boy looked awkwardly at her, but she smiled and nodded encouragingly, and he stepped back into the Great Hall – only this time not to his own Hufflepuff table, but to where Mary sat chewing unhappily on a slice of toast.

"Does Adam know that you're meeting in secret with kind of cute Hufflepuffs?" James potter goaded from the steps that led from their common room. Marlene grinned.

"I'm sorting out everyone's lives before I leave," she explained.

"And making Reginald ask Mary out is sorting out their lives?" James chuckled. She nodded.

"Pretty much. Next step is to shout at Emmeline for causing so much trouble. Then there's Lily…" James whitened. "And you,"

"My life is dandy," James assured her. Marlene raised her eyebrows.

"You've really convinced yourself it's true, haven't you?" she wondered out loud. The boy had the courtesy of looking confused.

"It is true. I'm a genius – I haven't had a detention in a week – It's Christmas, you know how much I like Christmas – perfect friends – perfect girlfriend," Marlene laughed out loud. "What?"

"All I'm saying is that if you had a perfect girlfriend then Lily wouldn't be going to the ball with Hugo," Marlene smiled. Staring blankly at her for a second, James looked sad. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean…"

"Let's go get some breakfast! I'm hungry," Marlene looked as though she might argue but said nothing as she followed James to the table and took the seat that Adam had saved for her. Emmeline was sat opposite her.

"Em, can I ask you why Reginald thought that Mary felt sorry for him?" she whispered. The other girl's face dropped into one of shock and fear.

"I don't know? Maybe…"

"You told him!" she hissed. "But it's okay – I fixed it,"

"You won't tell Mare will you?" Emmeline begged with her eyes. Marlene gave her a stern look.

"No, but you should apologize," she informed her. Good practise for having children, having friends.

"Fine!" Emmeline grunted and returned to her breakfast. Marlene made a mental tick of her to do list.

Next on her list was to sort out the Emmeline and Charlotte situation. Deciding that Emmeline had been told off enough by her as it was, Marlene decided that it would be Charlotte with whom she would talk to next. Unfortunately Charlotte was actually nowhere to be found. Heading to the dormitory, Marlene attempted to formulate a plan in her head. Charlotte wasn't exactly the most rational sorts of girls, and so she would have to go at this delicately.

She didn't bother knocking on the dorm door as she had never done that before. Allowing herself entrance, she saw Donna and Charlotte fussing in the mirror over their hair.

"It's like… nine hours until the ball, you know?" Marlene joked as she bounced onto her bed.

"We are merely prepping our hair so that it is in good condition to style later," Charlotte retorted as she brushed her locks through.

"Right, so who're you going with?" Marlene asked slyly. To appear innocent she started mindlessly flicking through a magazine that she'd left on her dresser. There were some interesting make up suggestions that she might have to try out later, but she wasn't actually paying attention to anything the magazine said.

"That's a secret. Donna's going with Gilderoy though," Charlotte answered for the both of them. Marlene wanted to sigh – of course she was going to be all enigmatic and make her life more difficult. However she didn't want to seem too eager, so she started to do something that she'd been putting off for weeks. Packing up all of her stuff.

At first she folded all of her clothes (except her dress for tonight and her clothes for tomorrow) then she threw in all of the shoes. After the shoes came the contents of her drawers: her ticket from Platform Nine and Three Quarters, the half-eaten pack of Bertie Bott's Every Flavoured Beans that Adam had brought her from Hogsmeade, a quill she'd stolen from Lily in the first week, a moving picture of her, Lily, Emmeline and Mary. Her broom didn't fit into her trunk, so she'd have to carry it separately, but eventually everything else was packed up and ready to go.

"Why're you packing?" Donna asked curiously as she was waiting for her "Hair Smoothing Gloss" to take effect.

"I'm going home after today," was her reply. She could be enigmatic too – she didn't have to say that it was permanent.

"You're taking everything?" the girl prodded, obviously not believing her answer.

"Who knows what I'll need for the New Year's?" she continued in an airy fashion, wishing their curiosities would subside. "So who's the mystery man, Lottie?"

"I told you – I can't say," Charlotte insisted. She had moved onto moisturising her feet onto her bed. "He says he doesn't want everyone gossiping about us. I imagine you and Adam will be going together?"

"Oh yeah," Marlene nodded.

"You two got together really quickly," Donna interrupted. "You're not pregnant are you?" Marlene went white as a sheet.

"What? No, haha…" she lied quickly, hoping that neither girl's would notice. Her hand moved reflexively to her stomach, as it had started doing a lot.

"Don… are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Charlotte questioned her friend, leaning in towards Marlene like a vulture.

"You are totally pregnant!" Donna laughed. "That explains tonnes!"

"Like how you dropped out of the Quidditch team," Charlotte continued.

"And the vomiting," Donna added. The pair looked at each other, eyes wide. They looked to her packed trunk and her empty bed.

"So, it's Adam's?" Charlotte questioned. For a moment Marlene considered lying, but then she realised there was very little point. As soon as she disappeared from classes and the news spread about the baby everyone would know. She had only hoped that she wouldn't actually have to deal with being called a slag.

"…Yeah," she admitted quietly. "Could you like… not tell anyone?"

"Me? Tell a secret?" Donna giggled. "Of course we'll keep quiet,"

"Promise," Charlotte added in an entirely too girly voice. Marlene sighed in the knowledge that by lunch time the entire school would be aware of her condition.

Looking over at Hugo and Peter sat talking a way away; Remus wished that someone other than himself cared about that fact at all. Sirius had gone and found the pair, but he'd returned saying that Peter was completely fine and able to make up his own mind. It wasn't that Remus thought that the opposite was true, it was just that when it came to Hugin Dagwood everyone seemed to be making the wrong decisions – James trusted him completely, Lily was now going on a date with him, and Peter had abandoned the three of them for him. Something was afoot, and Remus Lupin was not going to stop until he worked out what that was.

James of course was too busy with Mona to care about anything important. She was blabbing on about her dress and how James had better look nice tonight and that if he didn't tame his hair she would. Straightening his glasses on his face she smiled and said she'd see him later.

"You're getting ready already?" James questioned.

"Look around – how many girls do you see not getting ready?" Mona challenged him. Doing as she said all of the boys stole a look around the common room to see exactly two girls not getting ready. Lily was beating Mary at a game of exploding snap, and each girl was getting progressively more enthusiastic about the game. "Exactly! See you boys!" she winked and skipped off up to her dormitory.

"Evans, MacDonald – are you not going to get ready?" Sirius called over to them just as a nasty bang resounded under Mary's hand. Lily groaned and looked over to the boys.

"There's three hours, yet," she called back, confused.

"A sensible woman! Who knew?" all the boys laughed but Lily turned back to her game.

The portrait hole opened and an overly stressed Adam McKinnon came into the room. He groaned and fell next to James, rubbing his head.

"Everyone knows. The entire school," he moaned. This made stole both girl's attention and they moved over to the larger group.

"About Marlene?" Mary questioned. The answer was a slow and pained nod. Everyone cursed.

"How? There's only one day to go… oh Merlin!" Lily muttered.

"Some seventh year came up to me and congratulated me on my fertility," Adam informed them, which made James and Sirius laugh.

"Credit where it's due," the former shrugged.

"Well… that's okay, right? No one's being nasty?" Mary asked. There was a scream from up in the girl's dormitory. Lily and Mary both rolled their eyes, stood up and ran towards the noise. The boys simply chuckled and returned to their talking. Remus wanted to accost James about the Peter and Hugo situation, but he kept quiet, not wanting to create more drama when Adam was obviously going through some bad stuff. Quietly he filed his complaints away for another day.

The screaming was indeed coming from Marlene, however not for the reason they were expecting. Donna and Charlotte were both absent from the room, probably in the bathroom painting each other's toe nails, so there was little chance of some nasty comments. However she was stood in the centre of the room, in a fit of tears, with her purple dress pulled up around her, but the zip was stuck.

"It doesn't fit!" she sobbed. Emmeline awkwardly shrugged at them. Lily stepped forwards and pulled her friend into a hug. Being taller than her she was able to envelope her and completely comfort her.

"I'll fix it," she fussed. Pulling her wand out of her robes she thought about which spell to use. She could make the dress bigger on the inside so that it'd hold the Bump without actually looking like it was, or she could stretch the fabric with magic. Deciding to try the former, she instructed Marlene out of the dress and took it over to her bed where she did the complicated charm that was involved in creating such a spell. Meanwhile the girls were all fussing over their hair – Donna and Charlotte came out of the bathroom both covered in boils – apparently their beauty products had backfired and they were in a state of hysterical sobs. Taking a break from the dress Lily quickly fixed their faces as much as possible, by concealing and ending the enchantment used to produce the boils. Both girls hugged her and promised not to say horrible things to her, but she just told them to bugger off and let her get back to the dress.

Eventually (with half an hour until the ball) the dress was perfect. Lily took it over to Marlene who kissed her on the mouth with happiness and wriggled easily into her gown. She looked fantastic, as did Mary in her blue, knee length dress, and Emmeline in a red floor length number and Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee in scarily similar pink dresses. Lily was the only one who looked out of place. Emmeline did a quick number on her hair, taming her loose curls and tying it up around prettily. Mary was the expert of make-up and applied a small amount of eye shadow and blusher to give her face some colour. Stepping into her own dress with only three minutes until she was to meet Hugo, she realised that she had no shoes to match her dress.

It was actually Donna who came to her rescue, running across the room holding a pair of golden sandals in Lily's size. She slipped into them and surveyed herself in the mirror. She had a crown of golden plait, with a wash of curls hanging around her bare shoulders. Her dress was something which all of her friends had insisted she get – a floor length black chiffon gown which the shoes glistened underneath beautifully. The girls (even Donna and Charlotte) collected around for a picture taken on Marlene's enchanted camera, and finally everyone headed out to meet their respective dates. Lily told everyone to go on without her, as she wanted to find some earrings to go with her outfit.

Picking out a pair of false diamonds, she slipped them into her ears and went down the stairs. At the bottom of the stairwell was the black haired Mona Fox, wearing a blue and green short dress that Lily thought made her look like a silly peacock, James was laughing at a joke she'd just told, but his eyes fluttered up. His gaze caught her, in her gown and her hair in a way he'd never seen it – there was a thin line of eyeliner around her emerald eyes which were staring at Hugo. His dress robes were similar to that of James and Sirius', but with gold lining around the sleeves. She had to admit that it was a lucky coincidence he matched her shoes.

She made her way through the staring crowd and joined Hugo, who's eyes were stuck to her. Behind her, James was trying to wake himself up from a dream.

"You look beautiful," Hugo smiled and kissed her hand. She didn't blush, but she smiled and thanked him, and they headed out of the common room. Walking arm in arm down to the Great Hall, they bumped into a few couples whose hormones had been too strong to get them to the ball itself. The entrance hall was decked with snowflakes, and icicles hanging from the ceiling. It was beautiful, Lily thought. There were four trees – one in each corner, each decorated with golden and silver balls. It looked truly magical.

Music was resonating from within the double doors. Students dressed in an array of different robes and dresses were milling around, checking each other out, and staring at each of the new couples that joined them all as they waited for McGonagall to allow them inside the hall. James and Mona skipped down the stairs and joined Sirius and a pair of girls in red dresses by the doors. Mary and Reginald were gazing into each other's eyes – completely apart from the rest of the world – Marlene and Adam were ignoring the crowd who continuously annoyed them with baby questions. Alone, Lily supposed that Marlene would've found it unbearable, but with Adam by her side – his arm around her waist, leading her away from things she didn't want to hear, she was fine.

Hugo forced his hand into Lily's, and, smiling, he walked over to Peter.

"Hey Pete, it looks nice doesn't it?" Hugo greeted, receiving a nod from his friend.

"You look lovely Lily…" Peter blushed.

"Thanks Peter – you too," she lied quickly. His dress robes weren't awful, but his hair was brushed over into a weird comb over that looked creepily similar to how Hugo had styled his own hair.

"Attention students!" McGonagall called over the heads of the noisy crowd. "The Christmas Ball is now open!" there was clapping and whistling with excitement and the crowd started to push towards the Great Hall. Inside was more lavishly decorated than the hallway – with the enchanted sky snowing above their heads, and golden wreaths of holly hanging against the walls. Tables were set out around the room, leaving a dance floor at the top of the room, where a few couples took to dancing to the delicate piano that was being played by the band. At the centre of each table was an ice angel that held one rose in its hand, and a collection of snow covered trees at the head of the room, where normally sat Dumbledore and the staff. The room was utterly transformed.

Leading her by her waist to the dance floor, Hugo made a point of dancing a perfect waltz with her – something she barely knew how to do, but his leading was expert. Muttering instructions softly into her ear she followed his footing and let him twirl them around the room. When the song ended they earned themselves an applause. Curtseying with a giggle Lily said she wanted to sit, and Hugo nodded, leading her to a table with Marlene and Adam. They looked radiant.

"You guys are fantastic dancers," Adam complimented.

"Do you want a drink?" Hugo asked of Lily and the other couple – Lily nodded and he was off collecting them some punch. When he returned there was silence between them as they each appreciated the music or watched the couples twirling around, until they were drawn to a yelling.

"He's my date!" the sound of Emmeline's shouts came closer, as she stormed towards their table. Charlotte Parkinson followed her, looking just as angry as her enemy, and Amos Diggory trailed the pack guiltily. Lily let out a laugh.

"No! He's my date!" Charlotte yelled. "I asked him and he said yes!"

"He asked me before he asked you. He said he didn't even want to go with you," Emmeline retorted angrily.

"You bitch!" Charlotte shouted, running at Emmeline with her nails ready. Hugo jumped in between the two and contained the girl.

"Calm down, Lottie. He's just a boy!" Hugo soothed her, trying to make her clam.

"I don't care! She insulted me!" Charlotte continued to yell. Emmeline walked over to Amos and slapped him across the face, leaving a large red hand print where contact had been made and stormed over to Lily, stealing Hugo's drink and downing it in one.

The drama did not lessen as the evening went on. Some third year had the guts to call Marlene a slut in front of Mary who quietly cursed her under her breath, so she was taken to the hospital wing resembling Charlotte and Donna earlier that evening. Reginald kissed Mary for the first time in the middle of the dancers, a fact of which she wouldn't shut up about when he'd gone to get them both drinks. Emmeline ended up dancing with someone called Johnathon from Mary's divination class, and that earned her a slap from a little red head, but was soothed better by a startling looking white haired boy who called himself Sebastian.

Lily watched as Remus danced with a pretty, fair haired Ravenclaw from the year below, and she kissed him on the cheek before skipping off back to her friends. Happily he came and sat by her, as Hugo and Peter had gone to go and see some friends. He complimented her on her dress, and she on his robes, and they quietly discussed the drama that had thus far happened. It was at this point that Emmeline started snogging Sebastian over by one of the fountains, and everyone was told to sit for the meal. The Gryffindor 6th years all sat together, with the exception of Donna and Charlotte and the inclusion of Mona, and Reginald. Lily sat between Remus and Hugo, and ordered some chicken pie.

"Did anyone see how hot Sebastian was? Why have I never seen him before?" Emmeline exclaimed as she took her seat beside Marlene.

"He's a Slytherin," James informed her.

"Damn! All the good looking one's are!" she sighed sadly.

"Hey!" Sirius objected. "What about me?"

"You don't even have a date," Marlene pointed out.

"Actually, I have three – I'm just better at hiding it than dear old Amos," Sirius joked. The group laughed. Suddenly all of their plates were filled with their orders – Lily helped herself to some pepper. Mona quickly whispered something to James, which made his face light up.

"I was thinking of the name Charlie for a boy?" Marlene suggested to Adam.

"Oh you can't call him Charlie!" Emmeline interjected.

"She's right – Molly and Arthur Weasley just called their baby Charlie," James added.

"Then what about Freddie?" Adam added to her. Marlene's face lit up.

"And for a girl?"

"We already decided upon that one – not meaning to sound sentimental at all but we were thinking of Lily…" Marlene said softly.

"Thinking of me?" Lily questioned.

"No… we wanted to name her Lily," Adam explained.

"That's a bit sentimental," Sirius informed the pair, to which Adam burst out laughing and Marlene glared.

"I said it wasn't…" she protested quietly. Everyone laughed and ate their dinner, and when pudding came barely anyone could stomach it. Sirius and James on the other hand were happily spooning everyone else's unfinished treacle tarts, Christmas cakes, and mince pies onto their own plates.

The dancing started again, and Hugo dragged Lily off to work off their meal. Mona had run off to use the bathroom, leaving James alone. Scooting into the seat next to him, Remus watched Lily and Hugo dance.

"Marlene said my life sucked," James sighed out of nowhere. "She said I'd only convinced myself that it was great,"

"Your life is great," Remus reasoned.

"Look at her – do you really think that I belong with her?" Remus didn't have to ask who he meant – the other boy's eyes were as transfixed on the dancing ginger as his own. She looked beautiful, and everyone knew that she was dancing with the wrong guy.

"I think that anything is possible. And that… Hugo is up to something?" Remus hinted softly. James sat bolt upright.

"He's a great guy," he said too quickly.

"But the way Lily acts with him… and you… and Peter," Remus continued. "Everyone seems to forgive him the things he does, and I don't think it's natural wit and charm,"

"What, there's no way…" James argued.

"Think about it James – think about Lily, and yourself, and Sirius, and how he hurt them all,"

"He hasn't hurt Lily," James whispered, confused.

"Yes, he has – he convinced you…" Remus started, but was interrupted by the devil herself.

"Hey sweetie, hey Remus," Mona grinned, wrapping her arms around James' neck. Kissing the side of his jaw she whispered something into his ear.

"In a minute, I just have to ask Hugo something," he replied, standing up and heading over to the dance floor. Mona took the seat he had just vacated.

"Hugo, can I talk to you for a second?" James called over the loud music. Nodding and dropping his hands from Lily's waist, Hugo made his way over to James. Following the boy out to the entrance hall, Hugo smiled innocently.

"What's up?" he asked happily.

"Some people seem to think you're… up to something?" James suggested half-heartedly.

"Is this about Lily?" Hugo guessed. "Because honestly James, you're with Mona – remember?"

"I remember," James snapped.

"So Lily's fair game," the other boy rationalised. "For anyone,"

"That doesn't sound quite right…" James pondered – a buzzing in his head. He tried to shake the feeling away, but to little avail.

"It is," Hugo insisted. "And nothing you can say or do will stop Lily being mine. Peter is now mine, and soon so will you be," Hugo chuckled into James' ear. The buzzing continued, deafening him of any logical thought that said whatever Hugo was saying was right. But he was confused – he knew the buzzing shouldn't be happening, but hadn't it always been there? The little sound in the back of his mind that told him what to do and what not to do?

There was a screaming of something that James couldn't make out through the sound, but suddenly all went quiet. When he looked around, Hugo was hanging in the air by his ankle. James quickly performed the counter curse, and helped him down. The other boy merely thanked James and ran off into the crowd. James followed suit – watching where he was going, knowing that something was wrong. Who had cursed Hugo?

On the dance floor James made out Hugo grabbing Lily's wrist and pulling her into him. With a quick look his way, Hugo took Lily's face in his hands and planted a kiss on her lips. She wriggled under his grasp and tried to push him away. James stepped forwards, noticing Mona watching his reaction to the entire thing and not giving a damn. Hugo shouldn't be acting like that. Grabbing some half melted chunks of ice, James charmed them to fly into Hugo's face. This felt familiar, he thought with a chuckle, and before he could enchant another ice cube, Hugo was moving his face away from Lily's and dragging her by the wrist out to the Great hall.

Suddenly panicked, and sure that in whatever condition he was in he couldn't help, James motioned for Sirius, but the boy was too far away. Searching for Remus or even Peter, James flailed trying to gather the marauders, but realised that they were all busy. Running forwards, over tables and plates, and between loving couples, James pushed himself to the door. Bursting through it he saw Hugo, wand in hand, and Lily looking severely confused as he did so.

"EXPELLIARMUS!" a voice that wasn't his own shouted. Looking up James saw Dumbledore, wand outstretched, with Professor McGonagall by his side. They both looked very, very angry. Wanting to run forwards and check if Lily was alright, James took a step, but a voice called him name.

"James," she called. He turned, seeing Mona in her little dress, leaning against the wall with questioning eyes. "Why're you chasing after her?"

"She was…. Never mind," James waved her off.

"Ready to go then?" she purred. Nodding, James stole one last look at Dumbledore advancing on Hugo and Lily, and the buzzing in his head continued.

Dumbledore wanted to question Lily, after he was finished with Hugo, so she was made to wait outside of his office, accompanied by Sirius, who had apparently been searching for her for ages. According to Dumbledore Sirius knew more than any of them about Hugin's illicit activities, and so he would be questioned with her. Stroking her hair, he soothed her, keeping her calm.

"You okay, ginger?" he asked her.

"Yes – I'm fine," she lied. "You?"

"Dandy – the ball was a hit, hey?" Sirius joked with a worried air. "I wonder where Potter is?"

"I don't care," she whispered. "I just want this day to be over,"

"Lily, Sirius," Dumbledore's voice called. "You can both come in now," they looked at each other and stood, Sirius allowing her through the stairwell first. There was no need to knock as the door was already open. Hugo stood beside McGonagall with a sour face. "Sit," Dumbledore offered them a chair. "Professor McGonagall, please escort Mr Dagwood to his dormitory to pack his belongings. Ensure he doesn't speak to anyone,"

"Yes Professor," McGonagall said, bowing her head and leading the boy out of the door.

Lily watched it happen, and watched him go wondering what he had done that was so bad he was to be expelled.

"How're you feeling, Lily?" he asked her gently.

"Perfectly fine… a bit… shaky," she admitted.

"And fairly so. He had you under a confundus spell," Dumbledore explained. "For a long time apparently,"

"But sir, I know what the confundus spell feels like… it's like a confusing buzzing in your head - this was nothing like that," Lily argued.

"It was… subtle. I believe he worked on people's own thoughts, so that the confusion was barely noticeable," Dumbledore responded. "Mr Pettigrew felt as though his friends didn't appreciate him; the confundus turned him against them. Such is how a good confundus works. Now Sirius, I believe you know more about this than anyone?" Sirius nodded.

"I kind of… overheard some of his conversations," Sirius admitted suspiciously. "He was meeting with Severus Snape to talk about… someone? The dark Lord I think, though it was never explicitly said. He wants spies in Hogwarts, and Hugo was going to be one; to continue his father's work. He also… did Snape a favour,"

"What favour was that?" Dumbledore asked seriously.

"More of a personal favour, sir," Sirius commented quietly.

"Any information you have might be useful to us, Sirius," the old man pressured.

"He… confounded I guess, James into going out with Mona Fox," Sirius admitted, feeling foolish.

"And why would the Dark Lord want that?" Dumbledore questioned.

"Not Dumbledore, Sir. Snape. He… fancied someone that James was going to ask out…" Sirius murmured. Lily flushed a bright red, and Dumbledore suppressed the tiniest smile.

"Right – continue,"

"And… he did something to prove himself? I'm not sure though… that's all I think," Sirius finished. Dumbledore nodded and turned to Lily.

"Lily, you've been under a very gentle confundus for a while now, but any information you can give me about Hugo's actions tonight or beforehand would be useful?" he asked her kindly. Lily nodded.

"I can honestly say that I only ever thought him charming – that was the spell though. Err… well, one minute James was asking to talk to him, then they both came back and James looked distraught and confused, and Hugo marched over to me, tried to kiss me, and then dragged me to the Entrance hall where he tried to hex me," Lily ended, wishing she had some better information to give.

Dumbledore quizzed them on certain aspects of his behaviour, and if he went missing a lot, which they answered as best as they could, and allowed them to leave.

"So professor… has his spell ended?" Lily asked. "So Peter will go back to not turning against his friends… and I won't like him and…" she trailed off.

"All damage done was permanent, but the cause is gone," Dumbledore nodded. "But don't expect too much Lily – the spell was only so subtle because they were allowed to be…." Lily smiled, and followed Sirius out of the door. In the corridor Sirius grinned.

"That's that done, then," Sirius exhaled.

"What do you think he meant? The cause is gone…" Lily questioned her friend.

"He won't want to be with her anymore?" Sirius suggested, knowing exactly what she meant. The look in her eye pained him – so bright and alive, as he hadn't seen her in months. "Go get him," he smiled. She laughed.

"What, you want me to run to the common room, take him in my arms and proclaim him my own?" she giggled, her face a little red with the thought.

"I think you want to do it," Sirius observed with a raised eyebrow. "Go on, go!" Lily stared at him. "Go!"

"Right now?"

"Right now," he agreed. Her face burst into a grin, and hitching her skirt up around her knees, she ran as fast as the little golden sandals would allow her, leaving a chortling Sirius watching her run down the corridor, up the stairs and around the corners. The Quidditch training actually had helped her in one thing, she thought. She no longer felt like her lungs were going to consume her alive after a run longer than one hundred metres. She reached the portrait hole, wheezed the password and ran through. Inside she saw all of her friends gathered around the fire. There was, however no sign of James. Before she could even explain her rush, Remus sighed.

"He's up stairs," he said with an unreadable expression. Her foot was on the first stair before anyone could say another word. One after the other she conquered the stairs – exhausted still in her little golden sandals. Up ahead she saw the door – the one which he sat behind, probably doing his hair or reading a book or….

"Hey Lily," Mona smiled chirpily. She was walking out of the room; in which sat James Potter – probably not reading a book – not wearing her blue and green peacock dress, but rather a baggy shirt that James rarely wore, hanging around her knees. Lily swallowed back vomit.

Her head started spinning – how could she have been so stupid? Even Dumbledore knew what was going to happen, hadn't he warned her just moments before? And still she thought that without Hugo's magic James might feel the same, he might have realised that it was never Mona he wanted. That much was obviously not true, as she slid past Lily and down the stairs – probably to her own dormitory. But still she couldn't move. The physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion that had led her to this place seemed all for nothing, and there was nothing she wanted to do more than fall against the wall and demand to know why. Why did he have to do this to her, time and time again? Why did she let it happen? Why on earth was he stood in front of her with eyes that had seen the moon be stolen?

Not a word voiced between them, but they knew everything that needed to be said. In his left hand was a mirror, and not a mirror used for checking out his own reflection. He was wearing a pair of pyjama trousers – pin striped red and gold, and no shirt. Lily was stood, one step below him, increasing the height difference and separating them with the masses of everything they both shared. In that moment Lily knew that Hugo's spell had gone; she saw it in his eyes that begged her not to run.

Turning, she allowed her feet to carry her to safety – safe from the humiliation that she had just faced at the bear legs and red chest of Potter and Fox. Ignoring all of her friend's calls, she pushed her way through the portrait hole and down the corridor she had followed him through – where they had shared their first date, her first flying lesson and a hundred other memories. Her storming off might have gone better, had she not ran face first into a tall, pale boy, holding a grimace to beat all grimaces.

"Hugo!" she gasped, jumping back, and tumbling slightly on her long gown. The boy bared his teeth at her.

"Lily Evans! And I thought I'd never get a chance to seek revenge," he said airily. She considered running back the way she came, but as soon as the thought came to her, he had his hands tightening around her wrists. "But luck comes to even the devil," he spat, and pulled her along the corridor.

"Where's McGonagall? She was meant to be looking after you!" Lily cried, struggling to wriggle from his grip.

"She's unavailable to save you right now," Hugo chuckled.

"You hurt her!" Lily exclaimed.

"Can you stop wriggling? Now where do you keep your wand?" her stomach dropped.

"There are no pockets in this dress, dumbass," Lily moaned, thankful that she'd gone against bringing a purse with her. Hugo didn't know that her wand was actually hidden in the folds of her gown, and so for now she had the upper hand. He couldn't hurt her yet – not really – but if Sirius was right and he was working with He Who Must Not Be Named then who knows what he might be willing to do?

He opened a classroom that she'd never been in with his spare hand and pushed her in. Tripping on her dress, she fell to the cold floor with a bang.

"You really have no manners," Lily muttered, sitting up and rubbing her hands together.

"One doesn't need to waste perfectly good manners on mudbloods," he mumbled. "I need a wand,"

"Well I don't have one," she retorted quickly.

"Liar!" he yelled. "You're smart – you don't go anywhere with your wand," Lily mentally cursed herself. How had she spent months with this boy – letting him get to know her – without realising that he was the kind of person to do this? What a fool she'd been. "Accio wand!" he tried, but it didn't work. Cursing he tried again.

"It's not going to work, and you're going to get caught," Lily pointed out dully. She hoped she came across as more amused by the entire thing than scared, but her trembling voice might have given her away. "You're in Hogwarts – Dumbledore is around the corner. He'll realise McGonagall's been hurt and he'll be after you in a second,"

"By then it'll be too late. See, if you had anyone that cared about you at all I might be worried. All of your stupid friends will think that you're just crying in a corner somewhere, and no one will question that," Hugo goaded.

"Oh yeah?" a familiar voice called from behind Hugo. Lily could see nothing but the light that had been let into the dark classroom, and the silhouette of her attacker, but she recognized the voice painfully.

"Great! A Rescue mission," Hugo sighed. "Honestly James, I was going to keep you out of all of this,"

"It's a little too late for that, Dagwood. Everything was your fault wasn't it? Bridget, Mona, Sirius?" James spat. "You made me think that someone that could stand and watch my best friend being hurt was a good guy. Brilliant magic mate, but you got me involved in this mess a long time ago,"

"But I wasn't going to make you hear her die,"

"Don't you get it? You're unarmed and alone – there are two of us, and _I_ have a wand," James laughed. "You're done for – honestly, I think you might get Azkaban for this,"

"You really think that you can win against me, James? You're pathetic. And her? She's probably too fussed over how your hair looks right now to give a shit about fighting me. Now, if you don't mind I'll have that wand,"

"I think not," James said, but the boy lunged at him, and though he had physical brawls with Sirius and even a werewolf, Lily had never known him to be in a real physical fight. Hugo however had fought an abusive father for years. They tumbled to the floor, Hugo throwing punches, and James apparently unaware that stunning hexes were really good things in moments like these. Jumping forwards Lily got caught in the tumble, and shakily she removed her wand from her dress, hoping that she hadn't lost the element of surprise.

"Stupefy," she yelled, but the spell missed its target, and rather than hitting Hugo, it hit James, who fell to the floor, completely limp and letting go of his wand. Cursing Lily tried to renervate him, but without his help in keeping Hugo brawling, the boy was free to easily take the wand from James' lax hand and point it at Lily.

"Wand down," he ordered.

"I don't care if you attack me," she spat, her wand steadily trained on him. She'd done duelling before – even in a real life situation. This was no different.

Except this time it was.

Grinning, Hugo raised an eyebrow and dropped James' wand from pointing at Lily, and turned it instead to James, who lay helpless on the floor.

"Move and he's dead," Lily shuddered. She tried to formulate a plan – renervate James or stun Hugo before he could hurt James, but in every situation she thought that if there was a chance he was hurt she didn't know what to do. She hesitated – the one thing Madam Devarius had told her not to do: never hesitate.

"Stupefy," Hugo shouted. She was unconscious before she hit the floor.

Waking with a start was Lily's least favourite way to wake. Her head ached, and there was a feeling in her gut saying that this was no time to be sleeping. When her eyes inched open and saw Hugo stood above her, a menacing look in his eye. Lily tried to stand, but both her legs and wrists were tied. She struggled, trying to get free, when she heard a shout.

"Lily!" James yelled. "Are you okay?"

"James, I'm tied," she replied.

"Hush now, children," Hugo ordered. "Now, I have both of your wands – and you so wonderfully informed me that Dumbledore will be here within the hour, so I'm going to kill you quickly if you don't mind,"

"Aren't you at least meant to tell us your evil plan?" James questioned from the shadows in which Lily couldn't see into. "You know, the classic "I've been plotting against you and you haven't foiled my plans?" to give us a chance to… you know… foil your plans?"

"Is this a method of distraction?" Hugo asked of the boy. Lily almost wanted to laugh – you know, if her life hadn't been in danger.

"Possibly; are you distracted?" James quizzed Hugo, but the only reply seemed to be a punch in the face, which merely made him laugh. "Remus punches harder than you," which earned him another whack, and Lily figured that it was probably a lot more painful than James was letting on.

"STOP IT," Lily squealed. She squirmed as the sound of another beating was issued. James joked no more.

Stepping out of the shadows and over to Lily, Hugo chuckled.

"I seem to have ruined the humour of him – don't you think?" Hugo noted.

"Is he unconscious?" Lily asked in a small voice.

"No – I need him to see me kill you," Hugo said sweetly, in the same voice he asked her to the ball with.

"You won't hurt her," a weak voice groaned from across the room. "I won't let you,"

"Oh but James – I will," Hugo assured him happily. "Because you need to know that no matter how hard you tried to save the girl you love – you failed. She died because you weren't good enough,"

"It's funny," he mumbled, his strained voice trying for humour. "You spent months with her…"

"And I can still find it in my heart to kill her? Rest assured Potter that not every man that meets her loves her," Hugo spat. "Pretty face, smart mind, dirty blood,"

"No, that's not my point," James laughed. Hugo knelt down to hear the small voice that had been knocked to the floor. "My point is that you can spend so much time with her, and not realise that she doesn't need saving,"

"She just needs a distraction," Lily finished, her held to Hugo's head. "Stupefy," she said, rendering the boy unconscious, kicked the wand from his hand and immediately dove to where James lay. He had a proud and bloody smile on his face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he mumbled. "Quidditch players can take a beating,"

"You're not fine!" she screeched. "You might have a broken rib," she said, untying his knots and helping him up. He groaned, but tried to supress his pain.

"Don't look at me like that," James requested, as he got to his legs. Though he was taller than Lily normally, he seemed to find it hard supporting his own weight, so she threw his arm over her shoulder and took the weight, her wand ready but useless in her hand. Turning away from him Lily tried to compose her expression to something less worried. "How'd you escape?"

"I did magic without my wand," she admitted. It had taken a lot of effort, having not done something similar in years, but she'd done it. "Do you remember our first transfiguration lesson?" she asked him. He moaned a negative response. "Ribbon to rope, I simply reversed it," she smiled and held her wand out. "We're never going to get you down to the Hospital Wing," she huffed.

"Pass me my wand," he ordered, as she sat him down on a chair gently. Running over and picking up his wand, she handed it to him and watched as he cast a patronus and spoke to the Stag. "Go get Dumbledore, tell him where we are and that Hugo is with us,"

"Also, Professor McGonagall is hurt somewhere," Lily added to Prongs, who lowered his large antlers and disappeared through a wall. Lily quickly recreated her own doe and sent it to Holloway in the infirmary. Following this, she turned her attentions to their captor. Using a quick charm, she had Hugo tied to a chair, safely away from them. "How're you feeling?" she asked of James as they waited for backup.

"I'm not going to answer that question," he groaned.

"You look pale," Lily informed him, surveying his face for signs of concussion.

"So do you, ginger," he said with a broken smile. She wanted to nudge him, but thought better of it.

"Do you want me to get anyone when they take you to the infirmary? Sirius, Remus… Mona?" her stomach lurched, remembering why she'd been running off and allowing her capture.

"Sirius," James whispered.

The door swung open, and Lily wondered why she hadn't done that before. The light that leaked in from the hallway told her that it was because she couldn't stand to see James with a sweat forming on his brow, and skin blackening in numerous places. Blood dripped from his mouth, and she wished that they'd turn the lights down.

In that moment (unlike many) she knew why Albus Dumbledore was the one man feared by He Who Must Not Be Named. His presence was like the very eye of the storm, raging into the room with a ferocity she didn't think possible from him. His dress robes were still in perfect place, but his hat was crooked, and as he stormed towards the unconscious boy Lily worried for Hugo's life. Dumbledore turned back.

"David, could you please see to Mr Potter and Miss Evans?" he requested with the gentility that she had always known from him. When he turned to the boy, his eyes were fire.

Lily exclaimed time and time again that she was fine and didn't need looking over, but apparently James had been right and she was looking peaky. Healer Holloway levitated a semi-conscious James down the deserted corridors, whilst Lily trailed, watching his eyes flutter open, fall on her and close quickly. The walk was quicker than she expected, and she was lying in one of the hospital cots as the healer worked his magic on James' ribs. There were two breakages and one crack – she'd been right. Luckily no lasting damage was done by the beating, though his lip was swollen and his face bruising the more she looked at him.

Eventually it was time for her own examination. Having suffered no real physical abuse there was little to examine, but Holloway decided that she should stay in overnight for the shock. He gave her some medicine for a dreamless sleep and she was snoring before she knew it.

When she woke up the ward was still dark, with only two beds occupied. The first was by her and the second by James, but instantly she could tell that something was different. Sitting up and looking around she tried to work out what had changed, but she didn't know. She could just feel that there was something wrong with the room – something that was there that shouldn't be.

She felt a tapping on her shoulder.

A hand was thrown over her mouth to stop her screaming – a hand attached to an invisible arm.

"Sirius!" she hissed quietly. Stealing a look over to Holloway's office she ensured that he wasn't up and about. "What're you doing here?"

"I have to look after my mates," he whispered back, pulling the invisibility cloak free. Lily saw him, bags under his eyes from not sleeping, but a wild grin taking up his handsome face. It was spookily similar to James' for two boys who shared no blood.

"What time is it?" she asked him, rearranging her pillows for comfort.

"Almost four," he admitted. "How're you?"

"Fine, I don't know why they kept me in here. Something to do with shock," she explained glumly.

"Something to do with wanting to keep you safe, I think – they've stationed Flitwick outside the door. Hugo will be transported to Azkaban tomorrow, but for now he's in the tower," Sirius told her. "They're scared that if he can overpower McGonagall whilst wandless, he'll do something else stupid,"

"How's James?" Lily questioned.

"Well, he was awake when I got here at about 2, and Dumbledore questioned him, gave him a mint humbug, and he was asleep pretty quickly after that," Sirius informed her. "Physically he's survived worse,"

"That sounds like it should be followed with a 'but'…"

"I'm not allowed to say," Sirius admitted sadly. "He said he'd kill me if I talk to you about him,"

"You told me that he's okay," Lily pointed out. "That's talking about him,"

"I'm not allowed to divulge on an emotional level," Sirius laughed. Getting the hint Lily sighed and wished she had more easy-sleep potion. "He'll tell you eventually,"

"I don't see what there is to tell," Lily said. "Hugo wanted to kill me,"

"He's a psychopath," Sirius reminded her.

"But he wanted to kill me because of my blood. He said himself that he liked me as a person – shame about the dirty blood," Lily continued.

"Lily – you can't let that get to you. I have no idea what it's like to be judged on something so stupid – you and Remus are saints in my eyes. But you have to make the word mudblood as insulting as I do blood traitor," Sirius smiled. "Go to sleep, you look exhausted,"

"Will you make sure he doesn't leave before I wake up?" Lily asked in a small voice. Sirius considered her, before nodding.

"I'll do my best," he agreed, tucking the blanket under her chin and falling back under the invisibility cloak.

James woke up, sat bolt upright and thanked Merlin for magic. His face felt battered, his chest was tight and there was a fuzzy banging in his head which would apparently wear off soon. It was a side effect of having such a long charm being performed and addling his brain. In the back of his mind was the thought that without magical healing powers he would be in a lot worse state.

Across the room he spotted a spray of red hair, sprawled over a pillow. He wondered if Sirius had stuck about, but what with his invisibility if he had fallen asleep there would be no way to tell. Instead, James tried to recall what had happened: the ball – the fight with Hugo – Mona – Lily running to see him. He hadn't known why she'd been there, stood looking at him with shattered eyes, but now he understood. She knew about the charm that had broken, and rushed to find him – to make it better. Of course he'd felt the change, but it was hard to break up with a girl when she was naked and on top of you. Rushing after her had been like second nature, something which he'd wanted to do for so many months. Seeing her cowering from him, voice trembling but still fighting on had made him both sick and proud. How far she had come from the little girl who wanted to be better at defending herself.

Then again she had rendered him unconscious, which may have led to their untimely deaths. He would have to teach her how to aim a wand, he decided.

Looking out of the window James figured it was about seven am, and therefore not a great time for anyone to be awake. Saying that he was actually in rather a lot of face-pain, and he wanted to check with Holloway that it was alright to leave the wing. The man bustled in ten minutes later, almost loud enough to have woken Lily. That was not something he wanted to deal with right now. He needed to get things sorted before ruining everything he'd been planning in his head.

"James, how are you feeling?" Holloway asked finally.

"Fine," he lied quickly. "A little sore in the face area, but other than that I'm dandy – would it be possible to get going?"

"You don't want to have another day rest?" Holloway asked, apparently confused that his most preferred location wasn't the hospital wing.

"I have a lot of things I want to get done," James admitted with as much of a grin as he could bear.

"Well… there's no real reason for you to stay. Put some of this on your face," he instructed, taking a pot of salve from his robe pocket, "and come back and see me at eight,"

"Yes sir!" James smiled. He changed quickly into the fresh pair of robes that Sirius had brought with him last night. Lily still hadn't stirred, which enabled him to walk over to her bed and shake the invisible body that sat on the chair beside her bed awake. "Sirius!" he hissed. "We're going,"

"You're good to leave?" his friend whispered from nowhere.

"Yes, now can we get moving?" he insisted, eager to not wake Lily. Sirius removed the cloak and stuffed it into his pocket.

"To breakfast?" Sirius announced and skipped from the wing. Stealing a look around the room, James noticed its emptiness and dropped one small kiss onto the side of Lily's head, whispering a soft "I'll be back," into her ear.


	14. Chapter 14 Summer 1977

_Author's note: Okay, so this chapter has taken a life time to finish what with all of my college work. However, here it is, and hopefully the next one should be soon! Please review, they are honestly the only things that keep me writing, and if you haven't already re-read the rest of the story, as it has been edited since the update of the last chapter! Thanks very much! _

**Summer 1977 – Cokeworth**

Hidden between the roots of a tree; book in hand and a mild disillusionment charm to ward of muggles, Severus Snape found it very easy to relax. The book was nothing he hadn't read a hundred times, and the place was as familiar to him as his own bedroom and so in his mind there was nothing that could breach his happiness. Not his father, not his 'friends', not his Lord, nor homework. Of course, there was one thing which Severus Snape hadn't counted on – Lily Evans.

It was somewhat foolish of him to overlook Lily. They hadn't spoken in so long, and he didn't know that she had any other close friends in the area, so it wasn't totally unreasonable to suspect that she had no place in being at this park, at this time. But this was the park in which they met – this was the tree by which he told her she was a witch. These grassy hills were where Severus Snape made the best friend of his life. To Lily they meant exactly the same thing.

He heard her voice before seeing her, because the angle of his sitting was rather awkward. She was giggling in the awkward way she did when she didn't feel completely comfortable in a situation, but desperately wanted to mask that fact. Unable to make out what she was saying he begged she come closer. That was until he saw her (sending an aching pain through his lungs in itself) and who she saw fit to keep company with.

Wearing a thin blue shirt and a pair of white jeans James Potter looked more muggle than Snape had ever seen him. Lily was stood very close to his side, her hair down and untouched, wearing a floral dress. James couldn't seem to take his eyes off of her (rightly so), but she avoided looking at him, stealing glances only when the wind blew her hair into her face. Snape dropped his book in and shuffled closer to the pair in order to hear what they were saying.

"So this is the best beauty spot Cokeworth has to offer?" James laughed. His voice had deepened since Severus had last heard him speak – though that was a long time ago.

"There are others," admitted the girl shyly. "This is my favourite," Severus's stomach turned.

"Why? Is this where you contracted the plague?" asked James. Snape heard Lily whack him. The pair was not ten foot away from where he sat concealed in the roots, and had settled down into the long grass where Lily had taken to her childhood habit of making daisy chains. James was watching her in awe.

"No silly, this is where Se… I found out that I was a witch," Severus assumed she said, though due to her whispering it could have been anything similar. "Pass me that daisy," James did as she asked.

"Right, so this is where you come to be all nostalgic and massacre the wild life?" chuckled the boy. Lily smiled and tied the new flower into the chain. "Sorry if I interrupted your long day of floristry,"

"Not at all," she assured him. "I _was_ surprised to see you at my door though," he looked away from her.

"I popped to Marlene, she told me where you lived, and I popped to you," informed James.

"I see you passed your apparition test?" Lily pointed out.

"Who needs a licence," she hit him lightly on the arm. He grinned at her, pushed his hand through his stupid messy hair and lay down on the grass. "Yes, I passed it – you should've come to the party in the common room,"

"Yeah, well… I wasn't really in a party mood after the whole ball thing," Lily admitted. Severus' ears perked up even more, anxious to learn the truth of what had happened after the Christmas Ball. All he had heard from the Hogwarts Gossip mill was that Lily and James had both been hospitalised and both Marlene Tolkien and Hugin Dagwood hadn't been seen since. Severus learned from "friends" that Hugo was in Azkaban for attempted murder, and the whole school had been abuzz with the news that Marlene was pregnant.

Which left the news of what had happened to Lily and James?

"Is that why you've been avoiding me for the past five months?" Severus felt some form of victory in his gut, until she shot the boy a confused look.

"I haven't been avoiding you – you've been avoiding me," Lily cried.

"Have not!" James insisted. She dropped her attention from the flowers and glared at him.

"So what… abandoning me in the hospital wing, disappearing for two days and showing up without saying "hey Lil," isn't avoiding someone, but acting completely normally to someone's stupid behaviour is?" she demanded indignantly. James was supporting himself with his elbows, looking at her with curiosity.

"Stuff happened," he muttered. She glared some more.

"What stuff?" she ordered. He smiled. "Stop grinning like that, idiot,"

"Do you really want to know or do you just think you want to know?" James quizzed.

"I want to know," she answered quickly. James sighed and sat up, running his hands through his hair again.

"I got discharged early, went to breakfast, and attempted to come up with a plan to sort everything out," he sighed.

"Everything being…" she mumbled.

"Mona and myself," he replied just as quietly. "…and you," she dropped her eyes from him, turning a bright red and putting a lot of attention into knotting the flower. "The first hour was spent actually tracking down Mona, which was awfully hard because when we found Alice and demanded to know where she was Alice hit me. Apparently as her boyfriend I had the duty of knowing that she was going home to see her parents for the rest of the holiday," Lily finished her chain and draped it over her hair, making her look like one of the girls in the muggle magazines.

"Continue," she ordered.

"So then we had to go to Dumbledore and ask for permission to leave the castle, but he told us that my love life wasn't an urgent matter. I beg to differ old man," James laughed, his eyes transfixed as Lily started on her second chain. "So Sirius and I broke out of the castle and convinced Rosmerta to let us floo home. Had a lovely chat with mum and dad explaining all about Hugo and everything – they had of course already heard, and were going to be trialling him the next day. They made us lunch which was delicious and we decided to apparate… totally legally… to Mona's house,"

"But…?"

"We didn't know where she actually lived, so Sirius broke back into the castle (under clear instruction not to tell you anything of my whereabouts), demand Alice tell us her address. A little magic with the two way mirrors gave me all the information I needed, but by that time it was really late and mum and dad insisted that my love life wasn't that important. FOOLS!" he exclaimed, making Lily chuckle. "And they (unlike Dumbledore) are totally untrusting of my strength of character and had the house elves refuse to let me leave in the middle of the night,"

"So you stayed the night at home, apparated there in the morning…?" Lily questioned; eager to make him continue with the story.

"Not so fast," laughed James. "So in the morning mother made me a lovely banana sandwich…"

"A Banana sandwich?" Lily wretched; obviously disgusted by the idea of such a thing. Looking outraged James gasped.

"For the love of McGonagall Lily! Banana sandwiches are beautiful," he sighed. "I'll make you one later,"

"Deal," she smiled. "Go on…"

"So, yes – I ate the sandwich and apparated to her house. I met her parents, which was awkward because it was Christmas Eve and I was about to explain to her that my affections for her were magically induced by Hugo. You can't imagine the tension I was feeling during tea and mince pies," he shook his head dramatically. Lily burst out laughing. "So, I ruined the Christmas spirit by taking a walk with her and explaining everything,"

"How'd she take it?" Lily sighed, her chin resting on her palm as she lay in the grass.

"How do you think?" he muttered. "I mean… we did things that… I look back at how I felt for her and I can't even imagine how I thought I loved her enough to… I don't really remember. But sometimes I get images of being _that_ James; the one who he made me, and I feel disgusted," he sighed. Severus Snape felt uncomfortable in his hiding place in the tree and wished that he could disappear and not hear about the things that he had second hand inflicted on the Gryffindor. It was different seeing him recalling it to Lily, whose outstretched hand took his with sadness in her eyes.

"It must've been awful," Lily whispered. "I thought it was bad for me… but…"

"Anyway," he smiled. "The story!"

"Yes – carry on!" she insisted, smiling away the sadness that had been visible on her face. Severus wondered for a second what Hugo could have done that was so bad as to hurt Lily until he realised… he hadn't done anything to Lily _really_… he'd only turned James away from her.

"So I explained it to her, and she told me that I was an idiot, and that I really did love her. It wasn't nice. We walked, I calmed her down a bit," James explained. For a change he wasn't actually looking at Lily; he didn't seem to be looking anywhere. "And I apologized a lot – I think she sort of forgave me. So I left, popped in on the parents, and floo'd right back to the Three Broomsticks," sighed James. "I came to find you immediately but I couldn't find you, then at dinner you were ignoring me, so I figured that was how you were going to play it,"

"I wasn't ignoring you,"

"What happened your end, when I was off across the country?" James laughed.

"I had a nightmare… about Hugo. He was whispering that he'd be back soon," she shivered. "Woke with a start and you were gone. Holloway checked me over and let me go. I went to breakfast, saw Marlene and took her off to say goodbye in the floo-room, where I saw Mona complaining about not getting to spend Christmas with you. Then I waited for you to appear in the common room for two days, and you didn't. Everyone was really worried – you end up hospitalised then you go missing? Did you not think that maybe I would have been worried?!" she shrieked. James looked taken aback, and so was Severus. They both sat there in their own bubbles of fear from this shouting girl. A mother with her toddler looked over to them but smiled when Lily did.

"Sorry… I didn't think…" he whispered. Lily nodded.

"I know. I'm over it," she nodded. "Why are you here?"

"Em said you were stressed with wedding stuff?" he admitted finally. Of course, thought Severus; Petunia and Vernon would be married soon.

"Vernon doesn't want me as a bridesmaid," she sighed. James reached out for her, in the same way she had done for him. Severus wanted to throw a rock.

"Oh Lil," he consoled. "That's terrible,"

"She told him what I was… and… no bridesmaid's duties for me. But it does mean that I have to sit in a stuffy house full of relatives and Tuney's friends going on about how wonderful the flowers will be," James shuffled over to her and put his arm around her shoulders. Immediately she dropped her head onto his shoulder and Severus was left wondering if this was the first time they had sat together in such a way. "And to top it all off Terry McBrath has broken up with his girlfriend Lisa, which means he no longer has the plus one he RSVP'd for, and there are too many seats and too much food!"

"You're starting to sound like a crazy person, Evans – breathe," he rubbed her arm. "Breathe,"

"You smell like apples," she exhaled heavily. He burst out laughing and fell back, making her too fall with him, into the nook in his arms. Severus shifted uncomfortably.

"I like apples," he laughed. "So do you have a plus one?"

"Ha! Who am I going to take? Sirius?" she chuckled sadly. Severus wondered that if things had gone differently if she would have invited him – not that he'd want to go. But anywhere with Lily was still with Lily; even awful family weddings.

"Me," Potter suggested quickly. Lily bolted back into a sitting position. Hauling himself up, James looked at her slyly and smiled.

"You?" she exclaimed. "You show up out of the blue and…"

"I came because I missed you," James sighed, shutting his eyes tight. "For months I watched you not watching me, and I thought that I'd give you time for a change – I wouldn't go around turning the entire school ginger, or nagging you to go out with me. I thought I'd give you time to heal the whole Hugo situation, everything I said and did, just to get to a point where we can start again – you and me,"

"And then you gave up," she smiled a watery smile.

"I did," he nodded.

"Hugo told me… that maybe you wanted me to prove that you're worth waiting for…" she murmured.

"I don't need you to prove anything," he smiled, assuring her of its truth. "I can't expect you to do half of the stupid things that I did,"

"But you want me to bring you to a boring muggle infested church, where you can watch my horrid sister marry a man who is twice her weight and half her worth?" she questioned incredulously. James was nodding as though it was the most sane idea in the world. To Severus it sounded awful.

"Yup," he agreed happily. "And I want you to introduce me to your entire family as your boyfriend," he laughed.

"But you're not my boyfriend," she blushed, tearing her eyes away from his lips.

"Not yet," he admitted slyly. "But you know, if we get the awkward family introductions out of the way before the relationship starts, we don't have to do it again when we're actually in a relationship," Severus snorted from his little place in the roots. Even now he was a complacent idiot.

"And what makes you so sure that we _will_ be in a relationship?" she challenged him, her eyebrow raised questioningly. Severus had been having very similar thoughts.

"You're here with me now, aren't you?" he pointed out. Blushing once more Lily looked him straight in the eye.

"You're unbelievable," she scoffed, half annoyed, half amused. James leant back onto his elbows and grinned at her happily.

"I know," he admitted. "Unbelievably brilliant, gorgeous, funny… the list goes on," she smiled.

"No," she corrected. "Well, yes – of course all of those things, but you really expect me to say yes, don't you?" He nodded; a fantastic humour on his face. Falling back against the wet soil, Severus wanted to sigh, but needed to keep quite. If there was anyone who could easily see through his disillusionment charm it was Lily.

"Are you going to say yes?" James challenged her. For a second Severus wished and genuinely thought that she might say no, and it was only at her reply that he realised that there he had still harboured the hope that she might see the error of her ways.

"Probably," she laughed easily. Leaning forwards again, Snape saw Lily draping a new daisy chain around Potter's messy hair. The boy's reaction was a quick smile and a rising of his left brow.

"Then what's the problem?" he quizzed her happily, watching as she stuttered for an answer.

"You just… you're really going to annoy Tuney," she resigned; dropping her hands, and head butting the mud. When she lifted her head there was a small grass stain by her left eyebrow, which from his distance in the tree Severus couldn't make out. All he saw was James rubbing the side of her face with his thumb. He was smiling lazily as he did so, whistling to himself as Lily muttered her arguments against him. "This isn't me agreeing to go out with you, Potter. This is me simply allowing you to do me a favour,"

"What's the favour?" he hummed. Lily considered him.

"Annoying Tuney," she laughed finally. He joined in, and once the green was gone from beside her eyes, he stared carelessly at her, brushing his hand through the fringe of her hair rather than his for a change. She blushed and dropped her head, her eyes scanning the park looking for onlookers. Snape snapped back, scared that she might spot him, despite knowing that he was perfectly concealed. When he returned to his viewing point Lily seemed to have relaxed back into herself.

"Oh right, awesome," he grinned. "What's the dress code?"

"Muggle black tie," she informed him. "No dress robes,"

"Fantastic," James nodded. "And when shall I pick you up?"

"Saturday, 7am," she rolled her eyes and smiled, and then proceeded to roll back into the grass where her hair lay in sharp contrast against the bright green. James span and arranged himself to lie at a right angle – their head's touching.

"So how've you been?" he asked her, the air of flirtation suddenly gone as he stared at the non-existent clouds.

"Great actually – I've been meeting up with the girls and Adam – have you met Alistair?" questioned Lily.

"The sprog?" Lily hummed in agreement. "Yeah, he pulled my hair and slobbered on my glasses,"

"Not a fan of kids?" she asked him as the sun moved behind a rare cloud.

"On the contrary, I am a dazzling child minder," he laughed. "It's just that one cries a lot,"

"It's a baby," sighed the girl incredulously.

"Exactly – plus it's Marlene's baby, and he definitely inherited her temper," James laughed, with wide and frightened eyes.

"If that's the case I feel sorry for your future offspring," groaned Lily as she watched him feign fear.

"Hey! My babies are going to be wonderful. One will be the Quidditch captain, the other will be the heart throb of the wizarding world, one will kill all the death eaters single handed, and the other five will become aurors and one will be the minister for magic," James ticked off on his hands, making Lily light up into laughter once more.

"High hopes there – are they not going to inherit any of your traits?" he smiled before realising what she'd said and gasped.

"Enough of that, Mrs," James sighed. They both fell quiet, the smiles fading from their faces. "Sirius moved out,"

"Why?" she sighed. Of course, having been keeping in contact with the boy she knew that his address had changed, though she'd never actually asked him what caused the change of heart.

"His uncle died – left Sirius his entire fortune… and I mean a fortune," James laughed. "I guess he didn't want to be a bother to mum and dad, but that's stupid because he's over ours all week anyway, and they miss him like crazy whenever he's not around," he sighed. Lily stretched her hand out to his and held it.

"You'll be back with him at Hogwarts," she assured him.

"Yes. For one more year. What about after that? Where do we all go? What's going to happen to Remus, and the whole thing with the war…" he stopped short, concentrating his energies onto relaxing the tense hold of his shoulders and his muscles. Lily sighed.

"I don't know, James," and in her voice was the same resignation that Snape heard from James.

"You still fighting with the good guys, Ginger?" he asked her with warmth back in his face.

"Unwaveringly," she agreed happily. Severus wondered if that was how she saw him – the enemy – the bad guy. It was never about good and bad for Severus Snape. To him; a boy forever overshadowed and abused for his talents, wishes, and ambitions it was more about the worthy Lord stepping forwards to cleanse their world of those who hated magic like his father did. He never thought that he was a bad guy, but apparently his best friend did.

With their hands knotted in the grass James and Lily lay staring at the sky discussing everything from the war, to their friends, who they thought would get head boy and head girl, and what the next year would bring with it. Personally Severus thought (and hoped) that it would be he and Lily made the head students, and maybe at their positioning Lily would be forced to hear his apologies. The afternoon passed by and Snape returned to his book, missing out on seeing the pair have a grass fight until James Potter saw fit to remove each individual piece of grass from the red hair of Lily Evans, his face getting increasingly closer to her own.

When a thin breeze rolled around James threw his arm around the girl and led her from the grassy park, and down the concrete roads that wound tirelessly around the sprawling muggle town of Cokeworth. Upon reaching the garden where he had apparated to earlier that day, he smiled down at her slightly shorter figure, kissed the hair on top of her fore head, and watched her skip over the garden gate and down the cobbled path. He stayed there until the door was shut behind her, and he heard her call out to her mother and sister that she was home.

Sirius Black had never been one for discretion. His job in the Leaky Cauldron had of course come with the perks of earning money, being in the centre of the magical community, and (needless to say) inordinate amount of pretty witches passing through. Monday afternoons were unfairly dull when it came to bar work, and only the guests staying in the rooms above and the types such as Dung Fletcher Sr found it a fitting place to sit when outside of its dingy walls was a raging sun. Occasionally Sirius would spot a classmate walking through with their families in order to get some new books and robes, but as the Hogwart's letters hadn't been sent out yet with was a rarity.

Today however sat a pair of pretty Romanian witches on a small table just across the bar, who smiled and giggled his way. Quickly serving a plump blonde woman who had been staying in the Inn for three weeks whilst her son was in St Mungo's, Sirius grinned over at the pair. With something like a strut, the boy headed over to them and smiled as they giggled behind their hands.

"Hello ladies, is there anything I can get you? A drink, some lunch, my floo address?" he winked and they laughed some more. The brunette between them had paler skin than the slightly tanned blonde, and more piercing eyes, it was she who spoke first.

"Me and my friend were discussing where the best place to go in London is?" she spoke with a thick accent and very little confidence in the language, despite her fluidity.

"Ahh, well miss, you have Muggle London, and then you have Wizarding London. The muggles enjoy Trafalgar Square, the Big Ben, but we wizards have Diagon Alley; Gringotts, and there's the great Sirius Black,"

"The Sirius Black?" asked the blonde, in an easier tone than the brunette.

"Oh, sorry – my name is Sirius Black," he winked, causing the pair to erupt in a pair of giggles very quickly. Stealing a look at the enchanted clock behind the bar Sirius grinned once more. "I could give you a guided tour – my shift ends in twenty minutes?"

And so it was settled. The girls (Adela and Maria) ordered two butter beers between them, waiting until the hour when Tom (the nephew of the owner; Sid) would come and take the apron from Sirius, starting the evening shift. The clock ticked. Two minutes until five Sirius winked over at the girls once more, ready to run into the back, grab his satchel, and lead the girls into the beautiful sunlight. The door opened and his head jumped up, hoping to see Tom walking over to him, and feeling dully surprised to see a familiar wash of messy black hair.

"Potter, what're you doing here?" questioned Sirius as the dropped the rag he'd been using the clean the bar.

"Hello to you too, Padfoot," he grinned, taking the stool opposite Sirius. "You're off soon, right?" the boy's eyes flashed to the pair of girl's smiling slyly at him.

"Er, yeah – what do you need?" he asked dully.

"You, me, a lot of muggle monies and a quest for a suit," explained James. Sirius furrowed his eyebrows, completely taken aback by this. James must've been able to read his face because he added, "I'm going to a wedding,"

"Can't you grab something from Twilfitt's?" he questioned of his friend who shook his head in response.

"Muggle wedding," corrected James. Sirius became even more baffled.

"You know muggles?" he pondered just as Tom walked through the door. He greeted his colleague, dropped his apron and wished the man luck with the evening shift.

"Lily's sister," James said slowly, and with such a non-assuming tone that it took two seconds and a going over in his head for Sirius to understand what he'd just said. The response was immediate, with a grin and a pat on the back worthy of a healing spell.

"Well in that case of course I shall give you my advice," Sirius chuckled. "I just need to…" he trailed off and skipped away from his friend. His distance from the boy ensured that James didn't hear a word that he or either of the girls muttered in apology. When he joined back with James he had his satchel stretched across his chest and a wild smile readied on his face.

"They were pretty," James noted as Sirius pushed the door leading to muggle London. Following through his eyes had to quickly readjust once more from exiting the misty and dark room.

"I didn't notice," lied the boy. "So… what shops to muggles buy suits in?"

"My dad gave me the address for one, fancy apparating?" suggested James, holding his arm out to Sirius who took it and closed his eyes. At once they were facing a huge department store which looked more like a five storied imperial Russian palace than a shop located in London. The street was busy meaning that no one really noticed their sudden appearance in the middle of the pavement, and as they rushed across the street and into the shop no one blinked an eyelid.

Inside was just as grand as the exterior. Sirius felt as though he needed more eyes – everywhere he turned there was something new and fantastic.

"Who knew muggles could live in style?" he questioned with laughter in James' ear, as they stopped by a store map. James led them both to the clothing faction of the store (named Harrods according to the signs) and sought out the suit section. To say there was a large amount of choice would be to call Hogwarts a garden shed. There must've been hundreds of different suits, which were all apparently different in some way or another, whether it be the fitting of the blazer, or the tightness of the leg.

A tallish muggle man approached them and asked if the sirs would need help in picking out a suit. James stepped forwards, pushing his hand through his hair and looking up at the older man.

"Yes thanks," he nodded. "I'm going to a wedding and I want my date to fancy me more than she already does. I want the king of suits. I want to look like James Dean, but in a suit. Smarter than Frank Sinatra, with the jaw line of John Lennon," personally Sirius thought he was asking a lot from a piece of clothing, but the sales assistant apparently gets a large pay for dealing with idiots like James as he simply nodded, pouted his lips and started spouting out a bunch of nonsense about linings.

An hour and a half later James was equipped with a tailored black tuxedo suit, a plain white shirt, a black bow tie and a pair of smart black brogues. Sirius had to admit that when James tried the suit on he did look extremely dashing, and the fit around the chest might even make it worth the hefty sum James had paid for. Following their gruelling session in the suit section, James dragged his friend to a small café that had been hidden amongst the many toys and fish salesmen. Both boys ordered an unknown chicken dish and a "coke-a-cola".

"This coke stuff isn't half bad," Sirius noted, sipping it through the straw he had insisted the pretty waitress bring over to them. James swallowed a mouthful of muscle and nodded.

"Do you think she'll like the suit?" he asked quickly.

"You're asked me the same thing four times already, Prong," Sirius pointed out. "And yes, she'll love it," this seemed to reassure James, as the annoying bouncing his leg had been continuously doing for two hours had vanished.

"Right, cool," he commented. "Should I get a haircut?"

"Do you really want to encourage her that your hair should be shorter?" laughed Sirius between mouthfuls of his own dinner. The thought seemed to shock his friend as his eyes grew to an alarming size and he shook his head manically. "Exactly, now shut up,"

"You're right, I'm going mental," he laughed. "Have you seen Remus at all?"

"No, I think he's staying at home awaiting the owl that appoints him as head boy," laughed Sirius. A couple of younger girls sat two tables away and were staring at them questioningly. Sirius winked over to them, making them turn a deep shade of red at the older boy's flirtation and they stopped staring.

"Must you?" James sighed at his behaviour. Sirius turned to him, confused.

"Don't tell me you're embarrassed?" chuckled Sirius somewhat bitterly. "Or are no girls as wonderful as the lovely Lily?"

"Don't be like that, Padfoot," insisted James. "I just don't want to get thrown out for eyeing up children,"

"They only look a year younger than us," sighed Sirius, accepting defeat. "But of course, I shall stop,"

"Thanks," James muttered with an awkward sip of coke.

"You know, if you keep going at this new sensible James it might not be Remus who gets the badge," he half-joked. James looked up at his with questioning eyes.

"I think I'm about as likely to be head boy as Donna Shaklebolt," James mumbled, only too aware of his friend's attitude. Sirius liked to joke around, and when James didn't want to or he thought it had gone too far, it was always James who became the stick in the mud, not he the psychopath.

"I saw Donna the other day," interjected Sirius with a smile, in an attempt to diffuse the high tension. Their discussion continued, until James spotted the time and invited Sirius over for a spot of late dinner. Sirius rejected, hoping to perhaps run into Adela and Maria in the bar on his way home. Nodding, James apparated to his own house and Sirius to the alleyway outside the Leaky Cauldron.

Having been the size of a planet one month ago, prior to the birth of baby Alistair, Marlene Tolkien was not happy about having her annoyingly skinny friends surrounding her and cooing over the cot. Of course Adam told her she was beautiful, and she _had_ lost a load of the baby weight, but going from someone with a Quidditch player's physique to a stay at home mum really was no fun. Luckily (despite their tiny waists and high pitched squealing) her friends actually seemed to make her feel a little bit better.

Lily and Mary had been there, holding her hands during the birth (though Adam had been mopping the sweat from her screaming face), and had been very supportive ever since. Her own mother hadn't spoken to her since the revelation that she would be a grandmother, but Lucy McKinnon – the loving mother of Adam – had been pure gold in the first month of Alistair's life. Sirius Black and the rest of the marauders had visited Marlene wielding the newest Three Witches album on LP.

Today, however, the entire group of Gryffindors had collected in order to visit her. Mary had been the one to knock upon the door at the McKinnon household, greet Lucy happily and lead the group into the living room, where Marlene was cuddled up with a ball of blankets on the sofa. Alice Griffiths skipped forwards, peering into the small gap that concealed the baby's face. Having attained his mother's dark eyes and his father's kind face and pale hair, Alistair McKinnon was born as a ladies man. The mother in question was snoring with her face against the wood of the settee.

"He's so gorgeous," whispered Alice in a high pitched voice. Sirius Black; who upon entering the room had taken his place leaning against the door frame shot Frank Longbottom a look that read "good luck, man." The boy returned the gaze with something that read of terror and James Potter couldn't help but chuckle.

"He doesn't sleep too well," Lucy McKinnon informed them in a whisper, looking fondly on at her grandson and soon to be daughter in law. "Marley and Adam haven't had a night for themselves since he was born,"

"He's grown so much since we last saw him," Emmeline sighed, stroking the baby's head with the tip of her finger.

It was ten minutes before baby Alistair decided that he'd had enough sleeping and really wanted some food; his screams quickly waking Marlene. She startled awake, and upon seeing her friends crowded around her she almost screamed. Lucy scuttled in holding out a small bottle of milk and handed it to Marlene, who smiled appreciatively. Quickly popping the bottle between Alistair's lips, Marlene sighed happily and turned to her friends.

"How long have you guys been here?" she yawned. Sirius left his place on the wall and sat beside her on the sofa.

"Only a few minutes," Alice replied quickly. Grinning, Sirius held out his arms as if to say "can I?" Puzzled, Marlene removed the bottle from the baby's lips, passed it and Alistair over into the arms of Sirius Black; who far from not knowing what to do, ran the bottle's teat over his lips. The baby accepted it into his mouth and happily sucked away, falling asleep in the process. The entire crowd of Gryffindors looked on with complete confusion.

"Damnit Black, where'd you learn to do that?" Emmeline quizzed, speaking everyone's mind. Marlene looked on as her best friend merely shrugged and did his infamous wonky grin.

"I'm just a natural I guess," he chuckled softly so as not to disturb Alistair. The little boy didn't seem to be aware of anything that wasn't the lovely milk that slipped into his mouth.

After the feed was through, Alistair seemed to want changing, and Peter (who had been silently wishing to prove himself just as natural with babies as Sirius) volunteered for the job. He slipped the nappy off fine, cleaned the mess up and just as he was about to fasten the new nappy he was greeted with a wash of wee aiming at his face. Marlene burst into laughter, and it lit up her face like they hadn't seen it in ages. Peter was sent to wash himself up, whilst Sirius (the forever brilliant Sirius) finished the change and cuddled Alistair until he fell asleep against the wash of dark hair.

"Have you guys been to Florian's?" Emmeline asked of everyone, as they sat around in near silence.

"It is amazing there!" Peter nodded (his face now clean of urine). "They did it up recently,"

"Yeah, I've been practically living there for the past week," agreed Sirius. Mary discussed about how she had Reg had visited the shop and ordered one banana split between them, and James relayed how he had managed to convince Florian to create an all new liquorish wand flavoured ice cream.

"It sounds great," Marlene sighed sadly. Due to the extremely busy and pushy nature of Diagon Alley she and Adam didn't think Alistair was quite ready to visit the magical town, and therefore she hadn't been able to attend the opening of the Ice Cream shop or the sale at Madam Doretha's. Sensing Marlene's discomfort about being so out of the loop, Alice stroked her hand.

"Hey, Marley," she said with a suggestive tone. "You should go tonight! There's a band playing at the Leaky Cauldron – you should drag Adam along,"

"Ali doesn't really like loud noises," she sighed, wishing that she could go and check out the band – maybe she and Adam could even visit Sirius' new flat.

"We'll baby sit!" Alice announced, looking over at Frank happily. "Right Frank?" he looked right into the bright eyes of her round face, and nodded fearfully.

"Yeah, of course," he attempted at a smile.

"Are you sure?" Marlene quizzed, her wide eyes suddenly filled to the brim with sparkling tears. Laughing, Alice nodded.

"Of course! I'm always babysitting for my sister," Alice assured. The older girl looked so earnest, and Marlene was so grateful, that she dived onto the girl and sobbed thank yous into her short pixie cut.

The group shrunk down as James insisted he needed to do something, and Sirius had a shift, and Emmeline needed to get home, and Mary thought she'd apparate with Sirius. Eventually it was only Alice and Frank waiting with Alistair, as Marlene glammed herself up in her mirror upstairs, and when Adam walked in the door with his wand tucked into his back pocket, and his hair pushed back it was Alice who pointed him up to Marlene so that she could explain that they would be going out for the evening.

After an entire afternoon listening to the perks of having a colour scheme for the flowers, Lily was bored out of her mind. Countless relatives she rarely knew had milled in in preparation for the wedding that would take place in just two days' time, and much to her disgust her mother had informed them that Lily would be attending the wedding with her boyfriend. It was in the hours sat around the TV trying to watch reruns of Doctor Who whilst her eight babbling aunts demanded to know more about her new man that she questioned why on earth she had agreed to go along with Potter's stupid ideas.

Sadly, she'd tear her eyes away from the wonderful Tom Baker and start to inform her aunts Mable, Marge, Mandy and Beatrice about how she had met James at her school, how he was actually quite smart, yes he is quite good looking I suppose, and no he's not barking mad to want to come to the wedding. Even though she thought he was barking mad, but she wasn't going to knock having company around for a change.

"And what's his name again?" Mable quizzed for the fourth time.

"James Potter," she sighed in reply, wishing that she didn't love the way it sounded for her to say that name, and that the role of her tongue on the R didn't feel so wonderful on her lips.

Of course Petunia hadn't been too happy that James (a freak) would be attending the wedding, but had been happy that he had managed to take Terry McBrath's ex- girlfriend's space. She did warn Lily that any "funny business" would result in her being thrown out of the church and/or reception, because honestly Vernon and she would not be held accountable for her weirdness.

That evening Lily was on dinner cooking duty whilst Petunia and the Bridesmaids tried on their dresses for the hundredth time and paraded around the house showing everyone just how boring they were. Throwing onions into the pan to fry, Lily measured out enough spaghetti for the nine people that would be eating around their tiny kitchen table and boiled the kettle. Her mum walked in, announcing herself with a heavy sigh.

"Just two more days' Lily pad," she muttered in a resigned tone, and Lily had a suspicion that she wasn't consoling her.

"Two more days and Petunia and Vernon will be off on their honeymoon, and living in his little apartment, and it'll be just you and me and dad," agreed Lily happily. "How is he?"

"The same as ever," sighed her mother. Steven Evans had been sick for a very long time, and there was nothing that the doctors could do to make him better. Mostly he stayed in bed reading his newspapers and watching awful daytime TV, but due to the up and coming wedding he would be venturing to the church and the reception, meaning that he needed his rest in the coming days.

"Mother, when is dinner going to be ready? Aunt Mable thinks her stomach is engulfing itself," Petunia voices as she scurried into the kitchen, now wearing a floral cotton dress over her white gown. The girl caught her sister's eyes and glared.

"It will be ten more minutes," retorted the redhead, stirring the thick tomato sauce through with a wooden spoon. Petunia nodded and rushed off, causing another groan from the lips of their mother.

"When will you girls get over your silly little spat?" she started, whilst removing plates from the cupboard and setting them on the small kitchen table. Lily stayed silent, unwilling to have the same argument yet again. "Honestly Lily!"

"Mum, it's not my fault!" she moaned loudly. "Tuney hates me, and that is not going to change,"

"She doesn't hate you," fussed the older woman as she placed cutlery besides the overcrowded plates. "She just doesn't understand your… skills,"

"My sister has made it abundantly clear that even if my skills were in flower arranging she would not want anything to do with me," Lily growled, wishing the conversation to be over before her mother resorted (as ever) to her final argument.

"Lil," she cooed. "With your dad sick, and I'm no spring chicken, who knows when we'll be around? Within ten years it could just be you girls, and I would hate for you to not be in contact," _great_, thought Lily, she used the "my husband's dying" excuse.

"Mum, it's not that simple…" Lily said softly. "Can we just ignore it?"

Her mother gave no reply, but turned to grating cheese and humming along to a song on the radio. Eventually the dinner was ready, and the horde of relatives jumped to the table, their stomachs rumbling. Spotting the group who all sat elbow to elbow, Lily felt a sigh of relief, grabbed her plate and excused herself, saying that she would eat in her room, allowing a little more room for Vernon's large waist.

Pottering up the steps that led to her room, Lily decided to retire with a book for the evening. Whilst passing the master bedroom she heard a small voice calling out. Lily knocked softly on the door and opened it to reveal her dad, pale but smiling as he sat up in the bed where they used to spend birthday mornings. He beaconed for her to come closer, so she lay her plate on the dresser and scooted in next to him.

His illness had taken the life out of his face – where he used to have a round and cheerful face, he now had a scratchy beard, sunken eyes and a hoarse croak for a voice.

"Lilypad," he sighed, pressing a button on the remote to silence the TV. Aside from the lamp on the bedside table it was the only source of light in the room.

"Hey daddy, how're you feeling?" he shrugged with all the force he could muster.

"Same as ever," he repeated his wife's earlier words. "How're you?"

"I'm fine, I was just heading to my room," she explained. He threw his arm mechanically around her, and pulled her head into the nook.

"What's this I hear about a boyfriend?" he quizzed, semi seriously. Lily felt herself going red and decided that it was now her turn to shrug noncommittally. Steven Evans laughed, the ginger beard he supported wiggling with humour. "Come on, I want details,"

"He's… a friend from school," she settled on, unwilling to lie to her dad. He nudged her gently.

"By any chance is this "that arrogant football guy" you're always moaning about?" again she flushed pink.

"Dad, wizards don't play football, they play Quidditch," she whispered, careful that no one walking past to the toilet might overhear. Petunia would have a field day.

"You avoided my question," he pointed out, staring into the green eyes that were so very similar to that of his wife.

"Did I?" she hummed awkwardly, wishing they could talk about something else. He gave her the look that only a father can give to his daughter. "Fine, yes, it is,"

"Wonderful," he chuckled, but it turned into a cough. Lily remembered the days when his laughter would echo against the walls, and now it barely sounded. "So when did this happen?"

"I'm not sure if it has yet," admitted Lily shyly. "He er… he said that if I introduce him as my boyfriend now then I wouldn't have to do it later on,"

"He sounds a lot like someone I used to know," her dad smiled sadly.

"What happened to them?" Lily quizzed; curious.

"He married your mother," sighed the man. "And he had two beautiful daughters, who grew up to be happy, and wonderfully intelligent; everything a man like …"

"James," she filled in the gap for him.

"Couldn't resist," he smiled and kissed her on the forehead. "Go eat your dinner," Lily shuffled out from under him, turned and smiled.

"Dad…" she started, but he merely stared at her.

"He better be as good looking as me, if not better," warned her father with a wink, and returned to his TV show.

Pulling on Adam's hand as she rushed towards the dark pub that sat out of sight, Marlene realised she had missed it so much. Even it's near invisible, ugly exterior was somewhat of a memory for Marlene, and when all of her friends returned to Hogwarts she would not be joining them, so the memories she had of her first time shopping for school stuff was something special to her. Inside was packed and dusty, filled with as many people as there were shadows. Against the farthest wall was a stage, whereon sat some instruments that the band would be playing later that evening. At the bar Sirius Black was in heated discussion with a seemingly headless man about the quality of drinks. Adam gripped her hand tightly and smiled.

"Where do you want to go first?" he whispered into her ear, as this was the only way she could hear him. Shrugging, she tugged on his arm and pulled him through the thin path that led to another door. When they were outside all of the hustle and bustle from the inside was gone, and they were faced with a rather worn looking brick wall. Tapping her wand against the correct pattern of bricks, Marlene felt excitement rise as Diagon Alley revealed itself to them.

Floreon's ice cream parlour looked fantastic with its bright colours, and wide array of customers, who each happily sat munching on a nice sundae in the midevening heat. Adam let Marlene choose their booth, and then slid in opposite her, and ordered them both a butterbeer and the special of the day. Meanwhile Marlene sat happily listening to the old witches discussing their cleaning spells, and the parents with the kids who really wanted to go to Hogwarts already. She realised then, that despite her own grievances when it came to missing Hogwarts, Alistair would have all of this to come.

With a smile, Floreon served them their order, with two large spoons. They ate, and understood what everyone had been so crazed about, paid, and then went back over to the Leaky Cauldron, where there was hardly a spare seat in the room. Sirius instructed a pair of single witches to move over so that his friends could sit together and brought over two glasses of fire whiskey.

"On the house!" he insisted.

The music started, and Marlene could immediately tell why the room was so full – this band was brilliant. There were fifth years she recognized at the front of the room, dancing along to the beat, with sparks coming out of their wands. Even Charlotte Parkinson was chatting up a very attractive wizard with her foot bouncing against the floor. Adam was smiling at her when she turned back to him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she shouted over the music.

"I haven't seen you look so alive in ages," he yelled back and took a sip from his butter beer. When he dropped the cup from his lips he had froth trailing his top lip. Marlene burst out laughing, earning her an odd look from her fiancé. "What?" demanded Adam. She leant in to kiss him, though instead of a nice simple peck she made sure to transfer his foamy moustache onto her own lip. When she pulled away from him he noticed and laughed along with her.

The song changed to something a little slower, though just as catchy. Adam was on his feet, and quickly dragging Marlene to join him in a jig. They weren't the only ones – the whole room was alive with the music rippling off of each person's skin. At some point Charlotte Parkinson stopped noticing the wizard that was by her side and spotted the pair. Half-yelling an excuse to her date, she pushed her way through the crowd and greeted Marlene with a huge grin. It had been months since Marlene had seen the girl, and even her slightly longer hair, and her perfectly made up face had been missed.

"Hey," Charlotte greeted loudly whilst pulling the pair into a consuming hug. "You look great,"

"Thanks very much," Marlene replied. "So do you… obviously. Who's the guy?"

"A colleague of my father's," explained the girl happily, stealing another look over at the dark haired wizard. He sported a thin layer of facial hair, and had the most piercing blue eyes Marlene had ever seen. "He's an apprentice,"

"Very nice," Marlene complimented with a raised eyebrow, which Adam dismissed quickly.

"How's the baby?" Charlotte's eyes lit up in a way that neither of the new parents had ever seen; she almost looked broody.

"Alistair's great," Adam answered. "Sleeping, eating, pooping – it's like sharing a dorm with Sirius," both girl's laughed. The boy in question was actually across the room, pouring a dodgy looking substance into a glass for a haggard looking woman who was eyeing both him and the liquid up happily.

Charlotte returned to 'Andrew', who did look as though he was starting to wonder where his date had run off to, and the band finished playing soon after. The majority of the crowd dispersed very quickly, in order to get back to their loved ones, but Frank and Alice would be babysitting all night and so (despite the normal worries a parent would have leaving their child with friends) Marlene and Adam were both free to explore the town. Adam had even passed his apparition test, meaning that the world really was their oyster.

They stayed for one drink, checked the time and returned home after wishing Sirius a good night. For the first time in just over a month the pair could both share a full night's sleep and they weren't going to ruin that by staying out until the silly hours of the morning. The last thought on Marlene's mind was how she was so lucky to have Adam beside her, cradling her hand as she fell asleep, and how very much she missed the tiny bundle that was absent from the cot at the end of the bed.

The thing about Alistair McKinnon is that he was so much like his mother, that the patient and calm nature his father exuded had been lost in the genetic process; and the thing about Alice Griffiths is that she had always wanted children. To Frank Longbottom children had always been a very much future prospect, and not one that bore worrying about at their tender age of 18. Having just been accepted into the auror programme, and after the death of his father, Frank Longbottom was a little terrified of children.

But Alice wasn't.

It was the love that Frank held for his girlfriend that led him to be sat with the bawling Alistair McKinnon in his arms, whilst Alice scuttled about her flat's tiny kitchen trying to warm some milk "the muggle way".

"Why don't you just magic it?" Frank exasperated, as he attempted to rock the child into silence. It wasn't going according to plan; if anything he was making him dizzy.

"It worked for my mum, it will work for me!" she yelled through the open door. Frank let out a long sigh and cuddled the boy to his chest. At once he calmed down, and his wailing turned to hiccups.

"Hey buddy," cooed Frank, as he patted Alistair's back. "You just wanted a hug, didn't you?" he continued, still rubbing and patting the back, as he had seen Alice do a few hours earlier in attempt to wind him.

And then he was sick.

"Eurgh!" Frank retched. "Alice!"

"What's up?" she said, trotting quickly into the living room, with her hips swinging as she walked. Her round face was smiling down at him, and for a second he forgot that the back of his shirt was covered in baby vomit.

"He was sick," explained Frank, holding Alistair at arm's length to her. There was a sly almost-smile on the kid's face, as if he was very amused by this. With a smile, Alice set down the warm milk, took Alistair from Frank and pointed him to her bedroom, where she had a drawer filled with his old shirts.

Changing into a faded crimson shirt that James Potter and Sirius Black had once dropped itching powder onto, Frank dropped his own, milky shirt into the wash basket and surveyed himself in the mirror. He checked his hair, and pulled the slightly-too-small shirt down to cover his belt, then went back into the living room. Alice was sat, cross legged in his recently vacated seat, baby in one arm, and bottle in another. There was no longer any sick around Alistair's mouth, and his eyes were struggling to stay open as he suckled from the bottle.

"Hey," she whispered, careful not to startle him. Frank smiled and settled into the seat beside her.

"You're so good at this," he traced the line where her throat met her collar bone.

"It's pretty easy,"

"Not for me," Frank murmured. He memorised the way she cradled the boy's head, and how she ran the teat across his lips to make him finish the bottle, knowing that he'd never be able to do it with such ease.

"Do you want to feed him?" Alice offered, with an eyebrow raised. Nodding, Frank held his arms out, hoping that his girlfriend would place the baby in his arms exactly how he needed to be. Alistair groaned at the change, but immediately snuggled into Frank's arms and opened his mouth ready for the bottle. Copying Alice's previous position, he placed the bottle in his mouth, and ensured the teat was full of milk. "There you go!" she congratulated as she snuggled against his arm. "Perfect,"

The rest of the night went well. They settled the baby into his little basket bed and he was asleep in seconds, leaving them to discuss work and themselves.

"We'll be fully trained aurors within a year," Alice reminded him, as she liked to do when he got stressed about the numerous tests and trails they had to go through. Due to the huge increase of dark wizards around at the time, there had to be a just as large increase in aurors, which meant putting the entire three year training schedule into one year. "And by then the war might be over," despite his doubts he didn't correct her.

"I wonder how Adam and Marlene are," he mused into the silent and dark room. Alice didn't reply, but she gripped his hand.

"Frank…" she started with a quaver in her voice.

"Yes Alice?" he stroked her palm with his thumb, a habit he had contracted many years ago, and one she seemed to enjoy.

"Do you want to spend your whole life with me?" it was spoken as a whisper, but he could tell that behind that trembling sentence was a very big question.

"You know I do," he assured her, pulling her into a tight embrace under his arm.

"Well good. I've been thinking. With us being aurors… it's a bit dangerous," he could have laughed. Of course it was dangerous – that was something she had known for many years, so what could she be getting at? "And… I don't want to… die without… Will you marry me?" she choked.

For a second Frank wondered if he'd heard her right – had she really just asked him that question?

"You ruin everything, Alice Griffiths," he said softly, with a light chuckle. To any other question it would have been such a mild reaction, but to this? Her heart shattered in two.

"I'm sorry! I take it back. Forget I said anything… don't…" she pleaded with him as he shook her off and walked across the tiny room. There were almost tears in her eyes when he picked up his jacket and put his hand into the pocket. "What're you…?"

"I've been trying to find a good time to ask you," he said, presenting a neat little red velvet box. With a pop it opened and Alice saw a small diamond ring. "It's not much, but mother wasn't exactly too thrilled when I told her about it. Your dad was though, he was pretty happy. I was going to…" but Alice never found out what he was going to do, because before he could finish his sentence she had jumped on him with a yelp, her lips seeking out his lips.

The commotion had not been unnoticed by Alistair McKinnon, who awoke to the screams of "Of course I will be your wife!" but there were many ways in which Alistair was like his mother, and very few he was like his father. In that moment lying in his cuddle of blankets and listening to the newly agreed fiancés kissing, somehow his father's hopeless romantic heart kicked in, and instead of crying a new wave of fresh tears, he blinked them from his eyes and settled back into his dreams.

"Reg, you don't have to do this," Mary fussed as they walked up her garden path.

"Stop worrying, Mare – I want to," he assured her, taking an even tighter grip on her hand. The pair's relationship had blossomed ever since Christmas, and the long summer days in which she spent in Cokeworth and he spent in Kidderminster were hardly survivable to Reginald Cattermole. Today was the day that he would meet her mother, Tracy. For the past few weeks Mary had been worrying over the meeting, wondering if her mother agreed with the majority of Hogwarts when they said that she was hitting below her weight. All of her worries were blown away, however when she picked Reg up at the train station and had seen him smiling at her.

"My mum's a bit… intrusive," Mary explained as she readied herself to open the door. Pulling out the key from her pocket she missed Reginald giving her a totally baffled look. The key clicked in the door, and she pushed it open. "Hey mum! We're here!"

At once a sharp nosed woman pushed through the door, an apron around her waist and oven mitts draped over her shoulders. Reg could smell something that had the distinctive aroma of burning.

"Hello love!" Tracy MacDonald greeted, with an easy air and light tone. She pulled Reginald into a hug, where he ended up looking at the cow printed mitts in close up for five seconds too many.

"Hello Ms MacDonald," he smiled politely, holding out his hand for a good shake. Ignoring the hand, Tracy turned to her daughter.

"Mary, you never told me he was so handsome," the woman cooed. "And call me Trace," Reg felt himself blushing red, but followed quickly when the lady pushed the pair into the cosy living room. Sitting on the edge of the pink couch that was stuffed with similarly coloured cushions, Reg realised why Mary had been so worried.

He imagined that in her day Tracy MacDonald (before marriage, and age set the wrinkles in her eyes) must've looked a lot like Mary, though it was obvious that Mary had her father's eyes. Where Tracy was bright and bubbly and flirtatious like the younger Mary MacDonald, the seventh year was quiet, smart, and funny. Reg was also aware that Tracy had been muggle born, excusing some of her more zealous and odd qualities.

"I made cookies!" the lady announced, flouncing back into the room, mitts on hand, with a tray of very cooked looking biscuits. As he leant over and grabbed a cookie, Mary shot her boyfriend a look of "don't eat that cookie". Feeling obliged to make a good impression Reginald bit down with a crunch.

"Delicious," he lied badly.

Mary wished she hadn't arranged this meeting. She wished that she hadn't allowed Emmeline and Lily to talk her into such a stupid idea, when there was no way that her mother would act like a normal person. Her mind had been so preoccupied with wondering if her mother would like Reg that she hadn't stopped to worry about whether Reg would like her mother. Would he decide that the old spinster with no cooking skill looked like his girlfriend, so there was no chance that she would end up anywhere near normal? Would he find her antics endearing, and run off with her, leaving Mary with a new step dad?

With Mary occupied with her mental break down as she sipped overly sweet tea from a pink teacup, Tracy saw this as a chance to get to know Reginald. It was at this point that the boy realised that Mary had meant by intrusive.

"So, what will my grandkids be called?" she cackled and lightly hit him on the arm across the table. "I'm only joking, Reggie. Eat another biscuit," she ordered, which he did mainly to avoid stuttering responses at alarming jokes. "It's so nice to see Mary happy,"

"I agree," Reg mumbled with a mouthful of black crumbs.

"Ever since her daddy left…"

"Mum, must you?" Mary interrupted shortly. Tracy turned, shocked at her daughters input.

"I was just going to tell Reg that you haven't been yourself ever since your father married that Spanish witch," explained Tracy sadly.

"Gabby isn't Spanish! She's Portuguese," pointed out Mary. "And I am totally fine with that entire situation. It's been five years; Reg doesn't need to know,"

"Mary!" cried her mother; outraged. Reginald felt himself turning away from the two women awkwardly, trying very hard to concentrate on some of the cross stiches that hung from the walls.

"Mum, can we not? Reg and I were going to go into town," Mary lied, standing quickly and gesturing for Reginald to follow her.

"It was lovely meeting you," Reginald mumbled to the hurt looking woman as he was pulled through the hall, the front door and finally the garden gate.

James drew in a long breath, secretly scared about the upcoming day. It was six fifty and the morning air was crisp against his exposed neck, despite the season. Inside the house he could hear panicking and the general hubbub of people rushing around. The front door was open, and outside it in a small compact wheelchair was a grey skinned, pale red haired man who was staring at him with some form of consideration. This was a fair consideration, though James – he had just appeared out of thin air and almost tripped over the posh looking muggle car that was draped with ribbon.

The man raised an eyebrow at him as he stepped forwards, then a smile with a familiar dimpling appeared on his face.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you, lad," he spoke with a thick accent that wasn't of the area. Irish, he pondered. James smiled and walked closer to the man, who wore a suit that looked too large for his thinning frame. Suddenly James felt inadequate – he hadn't even been able to tie his bowtie, even with his father's help. He had hoped Lily would help with some fantastic spell. "The ladies are going crazy,"

"Aren't they always," joked James with an air of (he hoped) ease. The older man chuckled, and raised his head.

"James?" James nodded. "You should know that Lily is upstairs wondering if you're actually going to show up," he blushed, wondering what sort of impression this man must have of him. He didn't want him to have a bad impression – quite the opposite.

"And here I am showing up ten minutes early. I could've stressed her out for at least another eight minutes," he sighed dramatically, once again drawing out a hoarse laughter from the man. James stepped forwards and held out his hand, which Steven Evans shook weakly.

"I am sure that she has warned you of my eldest daughters distaste for your skills," Steven wrinkled his forehead. "But just as a precaution you should know that anything unusual… will not go down too well," from the sadness in his eyes, James could tell that the older man didn't agree with the girl's dislike for Lily's magic, or indeed his own. James simply nodded, and before he could reply, there was a sigh from the doorway.

"James," it was Lily. She was smiling whilst fixing a pair of pearls into the holes in her ears. Her hair was tied delicately, with each curl fixed perfectly in place forming a pretty bun at the back of her head – adorned with sparking pearls – and she wore a pale blue gown, which though wrapped around the chest flowed down in silk waterfalls down her tall frame. It took James a second before he noticed his eyes on her, and her father's eyes on him. Coughing away embarrassment, James smiled, and moved towards her as a reflex.

"You look lovely," he said softly, causing that beautiful blush to spread across her pale face.

"Dad, this is James – James this is my dad, Steven," she said politely, James nodded at the man who nodded back – like men. "Right, James – we're taking the car with mum, dad and Aunt Mable is driving. Tuney and the bridesmaids are in the other car, and the rest of the family are in a third car. We'll be leaving first," she explained quickly, with the fast and organized nature he knew of her.

"Right," he grinned. "Should I meet the rest of the family or…" he trailed off. An eyebrow rose on Steven's face as he stared baffled at James Potter, and Lily was thankful she wasn't the only one who had such an odd reaction to the strangely charming boy. Nodding slowly, she pushed the door open a little wider and pulled James into the hallway.

On the walls were pictures of two girls, progressively growing up as he searched the walls. A small red haired girl, and a slightly taller brunette sat in a hole at the beach, staring up at the camera with smiles on their faces – the same two girls, both a little older now stood on boxes in a kitchen with chocolate cake mix all over their laughing faces – the girls with Steven Evans (who looked so young and healthy) and a woman with familiar shaped eyes, smiling outside a tent – a red haired girl smiling as she sat beside a Christmas tree with her nose in a book, with the Brunette ripping open a box. And then the pictures changed, James started to recognize the red haired girl, with her freckly cheeks, and awkward grin – 11 year old Lily, not smiling in this picture, but pale white as she gripped a piece of parchment and green ink. The brunette with some strange girls. Lily in her Hogwarts robes. Petunia with a porky faced man, stood next to her first car. Lily and Severus in the park. James looked away.

From his left, James could hear a pompous voice insisting that Petunia looked lovely. Turning to Lily, he saw her roll her eyes and lead him left, away from the voices and into the nearly empty lounge. There was a squarish box that James recognized as a Television, and the pictures inside were moving and speaking. Sat on the sofa was an old woman, thin and smiling – with a head of ancient white hair, and spectacular green eyes. This woman wore a floral dress and a blue bonnet.

"I see what you mean dear, he is a genetic miracle," the old woman croaked. At once James burst into laughter, whilst Lily simultaneously blushed the deepest shade of red she had ever experienced in her many years of being embarrassed and pale.

"Thanks Grammie," Lily sighed, composed herself, and the resumed the introductions. They left quickly, leaving the lady to her show. Luckily for Lily they were not alone for too long in the hallway, as a long necked, brown haired woman shot out of the kitchen and almost right into James. He smiled apologetically, but she scowled at him.

"I suppose this is the sort of company you keep at your school, freak?" the woman growled harshly. James opened his mouth to comment on one of the many insults that the pair of them had been issued, until he felt a hand on his arm and spotted the white gown.

"Tuney, this is James Potter – James, this is my sister Petunia," Lily sighed, her voice different from how he had ever heard it. He had known for a long time about the awful deterioration of the girl's relationship, but that had never been a physical part of Lily. It had always been a sorrow separate of him, something that had never held true in that moment. Quietly, James nodded, held out his hand, and kept quiet for the first time in his memory.

Petunia was rushing around to get Grammie for pictures, and everyone shuffled out into the overgrown garden. Lily helped James to knot his bowtie, and introduced him quickly to everyone. A photographer was present with a bulking camera, pointed towards the bride and her maids, then with the whole family, until everyone jumped into the cars and drove off towards the church.

"So James," started Mrs Evans with a polite smile. "Lily tells me that you want to be an auror like her?" she looked to Lily for conformation that she'd got it right. Both the witch and wizard nodded.

"Oh, yes," he said. "If my grades are good enough,"

"Which they will be," assured Lily quickly. Steven Evans smiled at his youngest daughter.

"No one could compete with Lily though," James grinned. "She's the top of our year," he thought that Steven might implode with pride.

"Is that so?" questioned Lily's mother. James nodded enthusiastically.

"Didn't Tuney look lovely?" Lily interrupted. Conversation quickly turned to the day's coming events, with Aunt Mable pitching in from the driver's seat. This quick jumping chat meant that James and Lily weren't really required to say anything, and by the time they had arrived outside the church all attentions seemed to be off of them.

The ceremony wasn't due to start for another half hour, so a lot of time was spent waiting around, introducing everyone to everyone and making sure that the bride didn't have a mental breakdown in the process. Vernon arrived with a suit that barely contained his stomach, followed by a bustling woman who could have been his twin, and a small train of equally large people. Lily and James (neither being a part of the wedding) had very little to do in these minutes, and spent them contained at the front of the church commenting on how dull the décor was. When the pews were mostly full, and the priest stood chatting to Mr Dursley ten feet away from Lily, an air of impatience was controlling the room.

Heels on concrete caused all the heads to turn, but upon seeing Mrs Evans they returned to their positions as they waited for the bride. Lily however noticed something like panic on her mother's face, and jumped up, beaconing James to stay where he was as she sorted the problem. Quickly rushing over to her mother the pair shared a look unreadable by the rest of the party and trotted back down the aisle towards where the bride sat. Close behind them was James in his brogues, who against his better judgement had completely ignored Lily.

When he reached the little room at the side of the church, Lily and her mother were in hissed conversation about something very important. As he closed the door and it creaked into place, both women turned, looking white as a sheet. It was against the stark contrast of their skin that James could really see the identical nature of their eyes.

"James," Lily jumped; her hand over her heart as if to steady its beating. James grinned and raised an eyebrow in questioning.

"What's up?" Mrs Evans was the one to answer.

"Catastrophe, I'm afraid James. Aunt Mable got a little sloshed, and ended up spilling red wine on the gown," James almost sighed – he'd thought (stupidly so, as they were in such muggle company) that there had been an attack of some sort. Then again this is the kind of thing that constitutes as a catastrophe in weddings.

"Where did she get wine from?" questioned James over the loud "hmms" of Lily.

"Petunia's going mad," the older woman sighed. "Any ideas?" Lily shrugged.

"We could always..." James stopped, unsure if he was pushing the boundaries. "I mean, there's a reason that the weddings of witches and wizards don't generally have issues like this…"

"James…" Lily muttered in a soft voice. It was her mother who was nodding, however.

"I am starting to think that it might be the only option, Lily pad," her mother cooed. James grinned.

"That settles it, Lil. What do you think? A simple cleaning spell or shall we go a little more complex?" he winked at her, and the mixture of his quick thinking and his smile made her blush a little too furiously.

Mrs Evans simply looked from wizard to witch with an unreadable expression.

"No point in over complicating things," Lily sighed finally, giving in to their quizzical eyes. "But how we're going to convince Petunia that this is a good idea is beyond me,"

"Leave it to me," James said, shocking both of the Evans'.

Knocking lightly on the thick wooden door, James was greeted by the sour faces of three muggle girls. Each one looked at him with a mixture of disgust and curiosity as he forced his way past them, followed quickly by Lily.

"Hello ladies," he greeted. Petunia was stood staring out of the window onto the busy road that stood outside. She didn't even turn to see James.

"Get out," she ordered fiercely. James recognized the angry tone from his many years of fighting with Lily.

"Nope,"

"James…" Lily sighed, pulling on the sleeve of his jacket. Giving her a stern look he shook his head.

"Petunia, I don't know you, but frankly I've heard enough. I know that your distaste for…" James noticed the three bridesmaids. "Get out," he ordered. Whether it was the sheer surprise or demanding in his voice that did it, each girl in a puffy pink dress shyly stepped out of the room. "magic," he finished as they closed the door. "is quite large, but you either let your sister and I fix your dress…"

"And Makeup," Lily butted in.

"And make up," he agreed. "Or you go down the aisle looking like Frankenstein's bride," he was aware that he was being completely rude, but from everything he'd ever heard about Petunia Evans he knew that being kind and patient was not something that would work.

Slowly the girl rotated on the spot and James could see why Lily had intercepted with the makeup idea. Her face was a wash of black ink and red smudges. The woman's bottom lip was trembling, and her eyes were so wide on Lily's face as she nodded that she almost looked like the young girl from the photos in the hallway.

Lily jumped forwards, her wand appearing from nowhere, as James was left to ponder where on earth she pulled that from. He himself had magically added a spare pocket to fit his wand in. Pulling it out and moving forwards, James realised that he was on dress duty – fair thinking as when it came to beauty spells he couldn't even think of one strong enough to control his hair during a Quidditch match, so he was glad that Lily took control of that.

"What do they teach you at the fre…" Petunia stopped. "School of yours?"

"Mostly how to fix muggle dilemmas," James joked, causing Lily to giggle. Petunia didn't even shoot him an angry look as he cleared the red stain from the over skirt.

"Well the makeup spells are mostly learnt from magazines and stuff," Lily explained in a small voice. She was doing a fantastic job, and James wouldn't be surprised if Petunia looked better now than she had before the incident. With some form of magic that James couldn't do with a wand, Lily had softened the puffy eyes, removed all of the scary black makeup and made Petunia look actually rather beautiful.

James too, had worked his magic on the dress, and now there was no hint that there had ever been a stain on the dress. It had only been six minutes that they toiled on the bride, but when they were done it felt like hours. James despised cleaning spells, and was only aware of them so he could get out of detentions quicker. Standing and admiring herself in the full length mirror on one wall, Petunia smiled.

"Thanks…" she whispered barely audibly. Lily nodded, grabbed James' hand and dragged him from the room without another word. The two settled at the back of the room, in an empty pew, and within minutes the bridal march had started, and Petunia and three awestruck looking bridesmaids were moving towards the nervous walrus of a man that stood waiting at the altar.

Thirty very boring minutes later, followed by another of wedding photos and congratulations and James was reminded why he never wanted to attend a muggle wedding again. It was all speeches and talking and agreeing and dull dull dull. A few people (mostly the parents of the bride and groom) had tears in their eyes, but even Lily was yawning by the time it came to the vows. Back in the car (this time with Mrs Evans driving rather than her inebriated older sister) James had his hand wrapped around Lily's.

The reception was held at Vernon's golf club, in the large hall overlooking acres of golfing land. People danced, people ate their meals of salmon and cream cheese, people complimented the bride, and congratulated the families on becoming one. Lily was quiet for a long time, happy to sit and listen to the music whilst James watched her watch everyone, until the dark had finally set and the bride and groom had left for their honeymoon. It was only whilst everyone was waving the happy couple off that Lily took hold of her date's hand and led him to the empty dance floor. His hand wrapped instinctively around her waist and pulled her closer to him. In her heels they were almost nose to nose.

"Thank you," she whispered as they swayed aimlessly to the music. It was nothing James recognized.

"What on earth for?" he quizzed her and he span her around his hand like a tiny ballerina. She looked at him thoughtfully.

"Making her listen,"

"Having fun?" he asked her, eager to turn her mind from her sister. The rest of the party were returning to the room, and some stopped to admire the pair who were closely entwined on the dance floor.

"I have to admit it was brilliant seeing mum dancing around with dad," laughed Lily carelessly. "I haven't seen them look so happy since he got ill," some other couples joined in their dancing, until the band decided to play something a little slower. "I really can't dance," she apologized sadly.

"Well it's a good job I can," he winked down at her, shifting her positioning until he was leading her. He started doing the dance that his father had taught him over the summer when he was eleven. He remembered complaining endlessly about the stupid pure-blooded traditions, but the impressed look on Lily's face made the hours of work worth it. They twisted and twirled; footwork a little shaky but otherwise with an endless flow next to the violins and piano. As he pulled her around the dance floor, his arms gently leading her to their next position, his hand held carefully at the small of her back, and her dress whipping him as she span, James found it increasingly impossible to take his eyes off of her. She was alight in the darkened room, her skin practically glowing.

The song ended, and the dance fell to a stop. A few of the crowd clapped them, and James led Lily back to their table. Steven Evans shot his daughter a look of shock and happiness, before leaving to find his wife. Lily; short breathed from dancing, grinned at James and took a sip from her cold lemonade. James (harbouring a secret addiction to cola) emptied his glass. Letting out a long sigh that was half drowned out by the rock and roll tune that had started up from the stage, James grinned back at her.

"Do you want to head back?" she asked him softly, her eyes avoiding his. He nodded and shuffled in his seat.

"I'll just grab my jacket," he agreed, standing up and searching the room for it. Lily nodded and said something about telling her parents that she was on her way home. They met in the cold drive way of the golf club, where James was breathing out and watching the cold air meet with his warm breath.

"Do you want to apparate?" James shook his head, unsure why his throat had suddenly tightened. Maybe it was something to do with not being able to see her tomorrow. "Walking? I didn't know James Potter was capable of such a mundane activity," she joked, trying to clear the air.

"I'll have you know, Miss Evans, that I am fond of walking," he replied indignantly, his head raised high. Lily laughed out loud and set off walking – her heels shaky on the gravel drive. Catching up with her, and walking at her pace, James couldn't help but stare at Lily. There was nothing clichéd about the way he look at her under that half-moon's light - mouth open and eyes diluted – it was merely how he always looked at her. In the darkness he could get away with these stolen looks, because there was no one around but her to notice.

Realising himself at once, James realised that Lily didn't actually have a jacket, and despite the very-mild coldness, lack of wind and her telling him to put his jacket on or carry it himself, he was sure to drape it around her shoulders to give her warmth. It is fair to say that something about the way he did _that_ was clichéd.

"That was…" James laughed.

"Better than expected," Lily finished for him with a smile, her hand reaching out and grabbing his. It took James a second to compose his face, but as soon as she looked up at him he was smiling happily through the surprise. "Everyone really liked you,"

"Of course they did, I'm charming, a looker, and I'm taking you off of their hands!" he joked happily as he untied his bowtie and undid his shirt's top button.

"You're doing what?" scoffed the girl.

"I am doing my duty to Queen and country," she slapped his arm. "But in all honesty you are radiant," she blushed.

"Where did learn such a big word, Potter?" she grinned at him.

"I'll have you know that I'm are a genius, thanks," they both chuckled. Turning the corner, James recognized the street (not so much the street, as they all seemed identical in their neat little rows, more of the cars, and the balloons that hung outside the Evans household) and groaned inwardly. They walked slowly, dragging their feet up to the garden gate, each of them not wishing to bid the other goodbye, until they reached the front door.

"Do you want to come in?" Lily found herself asking quickly, over his quiet goodbye. His head shot up at once.

"Err…" he mumbled, unable to say anything witty or intelligent. Finding himself at once he smiled. "Yeah, sure,"

Following Lily into the now empty house felt strange. For once neither of them were avoiding each other's eyes, or staring sadly at the back of the other's head. To James it felt like he was exactly where he needed to be. Lily smiled at him as she kicked off her heels and pushed them with her foot into the corner of the hallway, and led him into the kitchen. Flicking on the lights, and waiting until they were on to enter, Lily looked with purpose into the room. There were boxes with leaves in scattered across the table, and two forgotten bottles of champagne. It wasn't this that Lily headed for however; she walked past the bubbly and straight to the freezer, which she opened and pulled out a tub of Neapolitan ice-cream. James could do nothing but watch as she moved so easily around the kitchen, grabbing a pair of teaspoons and gesturing for him to go back into the small hallway.

Lily led the way up the narrow staircase, with the green carpeted steps creaking with both of their steps. She continued down the short hallway until coming to the door farthest from the staircase, and stopped with a look of consideration on her face.

"Can you hold this?" she asked him, holding out the ice cream and spoons. He took it happily, though it chilled his fingers. "I'll be right back,"

Sliding through a very small gap in the door she had made, Lily took a look at her bedroom and screamed inwardly. Quickly picking up dirty clothes and throwing them at her laundry basket, and taking the pile of books that sat beside her bed and dropping them into her school trunk, and straightening her bedroom mirror, and making her bed, and moving all of the makeup products she had used that morning, and shoving shoes under her bed, Lily cleaned. Then, to seem innocent, she shimmied out of her dress, pulled on one of her oversized t-shirts and a pair of pyjama shorts, and threw her hair (literally) into the messiest bun anyone had ever seen, she figured she was done.

She greeted James at the now open door with red cheeks and a shaky smile. He looked at her and burst out laughing, falling into her room, and onto her bed with a fit of hysterical laughter.

"Do I have something in my teeth?" she asked sadly, rushing to the perfectly angled mirror to check. She did not.

"No, it's just…" he was wheezing. "I can't believe this,"

"Believe what?" she asked angrily, sitting with one leg crossed at the end of the bed. James straightened up, popping the ice-cream onto her bedside cabinet.

"That we're here," he was still laughing. "Honestly, when I came over the other day I thought you were going to slap me! You answered the door all angry and gorgeous, and I really didn't think you were going to walk with me,"

"You seemed confident enough," she pointed out, glaring at him in their comfortable way. James shuffled on the bed, ending up sprawled on his stomach with his legs in the air. He'd removed his shoes at the door.

"Of course I did! I bloody have to seem confident you with Evans," he chuckled. "Someone has to believe in us," Lily stared at him.

"James, I really don't…" she stuttered. "This is a mistake," she sighed, running her hands over her face. For a second James' smile faltered, but by the time she looked back at him it was unwavering.

"No it's not. For this first time this isn't a mistake," James assured her, his hand instinctively jumping for hers. For once his hair was flat and he didn't even care.

"What time is it?" she asked him, pointing at the clock that sat nearer to him than her. He looked up.

"Almost two," he informed her.

"Mum and dad will be back soon," was the serious thought that resided in her mind, but instead of saying this, something more important came out. "The ice-cream is melting," which they both took very seriously, grabbed a spoon and tucked in. James was a vanilla boy, Lily went for the chocolate, whilst strawberry melted selfishly onto both of their choices.

"You know… someone's got to eat the strawberry?" James pointed out as both flavours perished, and only the pink goo was left at the bottom of the tub.

"It's all yours," she groaned, pushing the tub towards him and falling onto her back. "I feel sick,"

"I don't really like the strawberry that much," he said.

"I thought you were a stag – don't you forest animals eat everything?" James cackled.

"Even I have some standards, thanks very much," this time it was Lily's turn to laugh. "Why are you laughing?"

"Two words: Charlotte Parkinson!" chuckling, Lily failed to see the look of faux insult that James had constructed purely for her, and saw only his attempt at hiding a smile.

"I'll have you know… that she is not strawberry ice-cream… she's… coffee flavoured ice-cream. No one's favourite, and of course everyone would prefer chocolate or mint choc chip, but if it's there most people wouldn't say no,"

"James Potter, that is the worst analogy I have ever heard," Lily chuckled. "I hate coffee! I'd prefer strawberry,"

"Yes well, I'm tired," he shrugged off.

"Won't your parents be wondering where you are?" she jumped up, worried. Having never met Grace and Alex Potter she really didn't want to make such a presumptuous first impression.

"Probably, they might just assume that I'm with Sirius though…" his eyes were avoiding hers very skilfully.

"Why would they assume that?" she questioned, suspiciously.

"Well, I might have told them that the wedding was a friend of Remus' mother and that we were all going to keep him company…" Lily whacked him gently on the arm.

"You hypocritical swine!" she hissed. "So I have to introduce you to my entire family and introduce you as my boyfriend, and you don't even have to tell them where you're going?"

There was the sound of the door opening and Lily fell silent like a deer in the headlights. Raising a finger to her lips, despite the fact it had been she who had been making all the noise, her ears pricked up to hear what was going on. Her mum and dad were certainly home, accompanied by Aunt Mable, who was sleeping in Petunia's room. For three minutes, Lily stayed deathly still as she listened to her father slowly walking up the stairs with her mother's assistance, and everyone crawl into their rooms without a night cap.

James meanwhile was dipping his finger into the completely melted ice-cream.

"This isn't too bad – almost like a smoothie," he whispered, once she was done being the Meer cat on surveillance.

"My aunt's sleeping next door," she mouthed. "And I'm cold, so move over," she ordered, grabbing her thin fleece blanket that ran the length of her bed and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Where was I?"

"You were complimenting me on my creative truth telling," James reminded her happily, lying back down on the bed, lazily staring up at her.

"Oh yes! You are a… pig," she informed him half-heartedly.

"Oink," he said. Lily supressed a smile. "If it bothers you all that much you can apparate home with me and meet my parents?"

"Right now?"

"Why not, have you got anything better to do?"

"Won't they be asleep?"

"Probably," he admitted, though ignored as though the fact was unimportant. "Come on, pack a bag – we'll apparate over, stay the night and you can meet them in the morning," Lily's heart was racing fast. Stay the night? Lily liked James, and she had for some time now. She had been aware of the physical aspects of many of his previous relationships, but that had never really been a problem up until the "Stay the night" idea. Obviously sensing her inner battle, James rewound in his head and realised what he'd just said. "Oh gosh! Not like that Lil! Don't be crazy, I'm not a dunderhead. You can have one of the spare rooms… though maybe not Sirius', who knows when he'll next show up?"

"…You're really serious about this, aren't you?" she questioned, both willing and scared to go at the same time. "Really, honestly serious?"

"Of course… unless you think your parents will mind?" Lily thought about that. Would they?

"I'll ask…" she found herself whispering against the will of her mind, for the second time that night. Jumping up off of the bed, Lily rushed out of her bedroom and tapped gently on her parent's door, wishing that they had both gotten to sleep with miraculous haste.

She heard someone saying come in, and dully opened the door. Her parents were lying on propped up pillows watching the news very quietly.

"Oh Lily! We thought you were sleeping," her mother said, inviting her to join them on the bed. Lily skipped over and perched on the side.

"You ate all of the ice cream," her father growled. "You are no daughter of mine,"

"Hush dad, the strawberry's still left if you want it," she laughed at the inside joke that neither of them would understand.

"Who ate the vanilla? Were you so hungry that you devoured the vanilla?" her father demanded. Lily chuckled softly in attempt to cover up how red she had turned.

"James is here," she explained. "I was just wondering if I could… go stay over his?" she winced, ready for the response.

"Well Lily… I'm not so sure…" her mother started. It was Steven Evans who interrupted though.

"Love – she boards in the same building as him every day of the year. We trust her. And come on, we can't let the poor girl stay here and have to put up with a hung over Mable, that'd be torture," he reasoned. Mrs Evans didn't look sure.

"Hrmm…" she mused.

"I'll be staying in the spare room," Lily added innocently. There was a pause, when only the slightly muted sound of the TV buzzing was heard.

"Fine!" sighed the older woman. "How far away does he live?"

"… I don't really know… could be miles,"

"You're not getting a train!" warned her mother.

"Mum… I'm a witch…" reminded the girl. Mrs and Mr Evans nodded, kissed her daughter on the cheek and said their goodbyes. When Lily returned to her bedroom, James was practically posing on her bed, with his eyes skimming through a dog eared book he'd picked off of her "perfectly organized" shelf. It was the Adventures of Robin Hood and his Merry Men.

"So?" he asked once she had made herself known.

"What will I need?" she grinned, earning an identical one from the boy.

"Pyjamas – which you already have on, and a spare change of clothes for tomorrow – hair brush? I don't know… feminine voodoo stuff?" James suggested as Lily started chucking things into a bag she found in her wardrobe. Once she was done she grinned at James, who was stood now, staring down at her. He moved down slightly, needing to bend a little more now that she wasn't wearing heels, and placed his lips on her hair line. "Ready?" he asked her.

She nodded, unable to break the lump that had formed in her throat – she thought it might have been her heart.

Not wanting to wake Aunt Mable, they crept silently down the stairs, and apparated arm in arm in the living room. The familiar suction feeling was as awful as ever, but one second Lily was stood facing her TV screen, and the next she was standing staring at a manor house. Behind her was a pair of gates taller than her own house, and all around her towered trees and statues of lions. Her first reaction was a coughing laugh, unable to believe her own eyes – James Potter lived here?

He led her up the drive way, with her bag strewn over his shoulder and his hand in hers. They reached the double doors, and James pushed them open, revealing a huge entrance hall, with marble stairs, and a glass chandelier. Most of the house was dark, but there were a few candles in anticipation of James' return; a path of which he followed up the stairs onto the first (of many) landings.

"Well, mum and dad are in bed," sighed James. "But I can get you a drink if you want? You look a little pale?" he offered.

"Yeah… that'd be good," she nodded, still awestruck by the house.

"If you think the hallways are good wait until you see the bedrooms," laughed James. "Ragga!" he called, confusing Lily, until there was a pop and a small house elf appeared with a wide smile on his face.

"Yes Master James?" Master James…

"Can we get two hot chocolates, cinnamon, cream and a few marshmallows?" he asked of Lily. She nodded incredulously, unsure what was most foreign to her – having marsh mallows for hot chocolate or having a servant who would happily bring it to you in the middle of the night. She realised that she had been in a complete bubble in Hogwarts, and as a result she'd completely underestimated what it meant to be "pureblood". Suddenly her feet went cold in her slippers.

James led her to her room – which was decked with a four poster bed, a full length mirror, and a wall that was actually a bookshelf. The sight took her breath away.

"I thought you'd like this room," he smiled, leaning on the wood of the door way, having just dropped her bag onto the arm chair in the corner. "Do you think it will do?"

"I think Merlin would be hard pressed to find a nicer room," she admitted with a yawn. James walked in and gestured that she get into bed. Obligingly she removed her slippers and socks, folded them next to her bag, and crawled under the heavy duvet. James sat on the side of the bed, admiring her face as she snuggled into the pillows. Ragga appeared with another pop, and then a knock at the door, entering with a tray of two mugs that held a hot chocolate fit for kings.

"I'll leave you to sleep, Evans," he smiled, flicking on a candle with his wand, and dimming the main lights to blackness. "See you in the morning,"

"Night James," she whispered, watching him leave and shut the door gently. Torn between the delicious looking beverage that had just been made for her and her crippling need to sleep, Lily scolded her mouth trying to down the drink too quickly. She placed the cup on the side, and settled into the bed, wondering where in this house James was and whether he was lying awake and thinking of her.

The bright light through the window woke her – she'd forgotten to close the curtains last night. Wondering what time it was, and if James was up yet, she lay in bed for a good ten minutes, trying to listen out for movement. Her eyes searched the room looking for a clock, but found none, though she figured it must be a decent time because she hadn't gotten to sleep until around three, and she was feeling so wonderfully rested. Throwing the duvet off her she shuffled out of the bed and across the room to where her bag was.

There was a door at the far end of the room, and she wondered if it might be a bathroom. Luckily she was right, and luckily she had remembered her "girl voodoo stuff" because her hair was a tangled mess, and her makeup was non-existent. Running the sink with hot water, Lily washed her face, and wet her brush in attempt to control the frizz on her head. Eventually she gave up and threw it into another messy bun, in the hopes that James didn't mind his house guests looking quite like they had just been dragged through Diagon Alley backwards. She added a hint of colour to her lashes (curse being ginger!) and cleared her face of the last night's smudges.

When she looked somewhat presentable she summoned her bag, and changed quickly into the blue blouse and knee length black skirt that she'd thrown in yesterday, dumping her pjs back inside it. It was only then that she dared to face getting lost in the huge mansion of a house that she had entered whilst tired and in the dark. Opening the door into the corridor, and stepping outside, Lily really wished James had shown her where his room was. Nevertheless, she figured that she could easily find him down in the lounge, or drawing room, or maybe even one of the indoor pools.

Finding the main staircase had been easy, and once she was down on the bottom floor she saw someone who looked familiar. She was just about to call out her greeting to James, when the dark messy haired man turned around, and she realised that it wasn't James at all. In some aspects the man could have been the boy's double, but his nose was a little longer, and his eyes somewhat smaller, and even his hair was one shade too grey to be James. This must have been Alex Potter. He wore deep purple robes and a happy expression, as he spotted her.

"You must be Lily Evans!" he said, walking gracefully over to her and shaking her hand. His masculine elegance was another trait handed down from father to son.

"Hello," she said with a smile and only the smallest of blushes. "I err… was looking for James?"

"Of course you were," he grinned, the lopsided, mischievous and all-knowing Potter grin. "He's in the kitchen,"

"Oh right," she smiled. "Thank you,"

"The kitchen is through there," laughed the older man, pointing a wizened finger towards an open door. Through it Lily could see a large table.

"Thank you sir," she stuttered, following his direction through the door.

Inside the kitchen was Grace Potter, leaning over the cabinet and staring at her son with a challenging glare. She had red hair, that was somewhat more orange than Lily's own, and the hazel eyes of her son. Though she was an elderly woman she was still very beautiful, with her glare just as fierce as Lily had expected.

"Lily!" James jumped up, spotting her milling in the doorway. "Mum was just telling me off for being a hypocritical swine,"

"I never used the word swine," corrected the lady with a grin. "I said that you were an awful fool just like your father,"

"Don't blame me, he's your son," called out Alex Potter from behind where Lily stood. James grinned as he ripped off another bite of toast and gestured for Lily to join him.

"Sleep well?" he asked her kindly. She nodded in reply and took the fresh glass of apple juice he had poured her, and the plate of croissants. Lily was shocked to see them.

"James told me you were a fan so I had the house elves whip some up," explained Grace kindly, spotting Lily's expression.

"Thank you,"

"She likes them," James assured his mother, reading the look on the girl's face. "When she doesn't like them (which is rarely) her chewing becomes slower,"

"Who raised the stalker?" Grace sighed pointedly at her husband, which Lily was very grateful for, because it withdrew everyone staring at her chew.

"I blame your genes," Alex Potter informed his wife before planting a kiss on her mouth. "Your mother had an unhealthy obsession with St Mungo's,"

"She was sick!" Grace pointed out with shock laughter.

"Yes well, she didn't need to haunt the place for a decade!" James burst out laughing, joined by his mother.

"Well, I think she fancied her healer. Thirty years too young for her, and premature balding – what can I say?" joked the lady.

Grace and Alex seated themselves opposite Lily and James and picked at a fruit bowl, until the last grape was picked from its stem.

"So have you been anywhere nice this summer, Lily?" asked Mrs Potter kindly.

"Not really, what with the wedding mum and dad have been fairly busy,"

"You should come with us to France!" James interjected excitedly. His mother's face lit up, as did his father's.

"Oh you should!" she smiled. "Better you than Sirius again,"

"Oh mum, don't nag – Sirius is a great holiday buddy," James laughed. "Although I suppose he did transfigure all of the museum guard's clothes into that of an Amish man. That was pretty risky,"

"Yes, well – Lily wouldn't do something like that, would you Lily?" Alex grinned. Lily shook her head, wondering if the Potter's were big practical jokers or not. It didn't seem like a far-fetched theory seeing as how James turned out, but joking about taking her to France was so mean.

"Of course, you mustn't feel obliged to join us," Grace added as an afterthought. "There's a hundred spare rooms in the country house, and so much to see,"

"Are you serious?" choked Lily finally. James and his dad looked at each other with teasing grins and open mouths before Grace Potter stepped in.

"If either of you makes a "No Sirius doesn't live here" joke I promise that I will go on strike,"

"Makes no difference to us; we'll still have the house elves!" James had to duck to avoid an oncoming grape.

"So, despite having to spend two weeks with such awful boys, what do you say?" Mrs Potter turned to Lily. She nodded quicker than she knew possible.

"I would love to! Of course I'd have to ask my mum and dad, but I'm sure they'll be fine!" Lily grinned happily. Besides her, James was starting to think that things were finally coming together.

Please review and favourite and what not! I will be back (hopefully soon) with the next chapter! Hope you enjoyed it!


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